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Chapter Text

Chapter 1

It had been a horrible week for Devi. She got 2 points lower than Ben on her AP Government quiz, she and Paxton got into a fight with Zoe putting her hands on him, and on top of that, her mom was on her case about school and being more responsible. Sure, the relationship between her and her mom was growing, but they were not the Gilmore Girls, and her mom was not her dad when it came to sensitive topics.

Devi still hadn’t told her mom about her and Paxton even though it had been almost 9 months since they were dating. Apparently, Paxton was against sneaking around while Devi had pleaded him that her mom couldn’t find out. That was another thing they fought about.

She and Des had become close within the past few months due to their moms being best friends, but she told Des she was not into him like that. Des, while hurt at first, seemed to have accepted it and moved on.

It was Friday and Devi was just getting her things from her locker when Eleanor came running up to her.

“Devi, Trent’s throwing a rager for this 18^th birthday! Are you gonna go?” Eleanor asked excitedly.

“I don’t know, I gotta ask my mom. Also, I am not sure if I really want to face Paxton currently and it has been a long week.” Devi sighed.

“Come on, Devi, it’s a rager there will be a whole crowd. If you are not ready to talk to him you can hang with me, Fabiola, and Aneesa.” Eleanor pleaded.

“Yeah sure, I’ll come.”

Surprisingly, Devi’s mom had allowed her to go to the party. Right as Devi was leaving Nalini stopped her and started talking.

“No drugs or alcohol, otherwise you will be grounded for the rest of your life.”

“Okay mom, got it.”

“I mean it, I don’t want a repeat of the last parties do you have been to. The only reason I am letting you go is because you haven’t gotten into major trouble yet.”

“Yes mom, I promise.” Nalini kissed her forehead and told her to be home by 11.

Devi and her friends met up outside of Trent’s house.

“Hey Devi, I hope it’s okay that I told my mom I am at your house tonight. Out of everyone in our friend group, she seems to trust you the most.” Aneesa asked.

“Of course, Neese. Indian moms, right?” Devi replied. Even though Aneesa and Ben had broken up several months ago, she and Aneesa had been able to keep their friendship. Even though Aneesa knew Ben was still into Devi, Devi had told her she was in love with Paxton.

The party was in full swing by the time everyone got inside. Music was blasting, Trent was doing a keg stand, and Paxton was trying to get Zoe’s hands off him.

“Devi!” She turned around to face Des.

“Des? What are you doing here?”

“Some of my private school buddies heard about this party and that is how I am here. Enough about me. You okay? You seem kind of upset."

"Just stressed that's all." Devi couldn't bear to look at Paxton and Des noticed.

"You look angry at Paxton. Boyfriend troubles?”

“It’s complicated.” Devi shrugged.

“I’ve had girlfriends before, you know, I can help you if you want.” Something about the way Des was talking seemed fishy to her, as he touched her arm.

“I’ll be back, I’m gonna get a drink.”

Devi went to get some punch and next thing she knew, she felt a cup hit her arm.

“Ben!” Devi shrieked.

“Sorry David, but we need you. If I asked you who fought at the Battle of Little Bighorn and you said General Custard, that should count right?”

“Custard is a dessert, Custer is the general.” Fabiola lectured Ben.

“Whatever, I’ve had four beers, what’s the big deal?” Ben asked.

“Drink bitch.” Fabiola said. Ben groaned as he took another swig of beer.

Devi looked confused. “What are you guys doing?”

“Playing a little drinking game called “Are You Smarter Than a Ben.”” Ben and Fabiola started giggling as they kept playing.

Devi rolled her eyes. “That is so lame.”

Devi then excused herself to find a bathroom. She found one in a spare bedroom, and when she came out of the bathroom, she heard the bedroom door lock. Only to come face to face with Des, giving a weird smile.

“Devi, there you are I was looking for you.” He came closer to her in an uncomfortable way.

“Des, what the hell. Get away from me.” He pushed her on the bed and started kissing her.

“Des, stop! I have a boyfriend!” Des ignored her and started making out with her, sliding his tongue inside her mouth all while Devi tried to push him off.

“Devi, you look pretty hot with that top and skirt, we should check out how you look without them, shall we?”

“Des, no! There is no way – “ But Des kept kissing her and slid his hands underneath her shirt, and snapped her bra off. Devi tried to scream as his hands went fondling her breasts, still underneath her top.

“Oh Devi, you are such a tease.” Des laughed as he kept touching her body. Then as he tugged her skirt and underwear off Devi realized she couldn’t move her legs. She felt trapped, the same feeling she had when her legs got paralyzed.

“Get off me, Des!”

Des removed his pants and boxers while keeping his body weight on top of Devi, then settled himself between her legs, right at her entrance. “I know you want to, Devi.” He said, smirking as he started pushing in. Devi screamed and tried pushing him off with her arms but wasn’t strong enough. Des didn’t care and kept going while keeping his hands on her body, especially the breasts. After many thrusts, Des pulled out and whispered to her, “You better not tell anyone, you slut.” He put his clothes on quickly and left the room, leaving Devi on the bed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Devi felt tears falling as she was lying on the bed, feeling sore down there. This was something she wanted to lose to Paxton but instead she was robbed of it by Des. Slowly her legs regained consciousness and she put her clothes on quickly. She was in no mood to stay at this party, and she was ready to get out of here.

Devi rushed her way through the crowd and escaped through the front door. People called her but she ignored them.

She walked back home because she needed to clear her head. Thank god her grandmother was asleep, her mom was out with Rhyah, and Kamala had moved out. That way once she stepped inside, she was alone and no one would see her puffy face.

As soon as she got home, she went straight to the bathroom she and Kamala shared and tore off the clothes she had. She inserted her finger down there and felt blood. She took a thorough shower, spending thirty minutes trying to wash her skin clean. But no matter how much soap she used, she couldn’t get the dirtiness off of him.

The last thing Devi wanted was a lecture from her mother on wasting water, so she came out and stared at herself naked. She felt damaged and almost started crying again.

As soon as she changed into her pajamas, she threw the clothes she wore at the party in a trash bag and vowed never to wear them again. She then hid the trash bag under her bed because she didn’t want anyone questioning why she was throwing her clothes away.

Her phone was on her bed which lit up with a bunch of texts.

Eleanor: Devi did you leave without telling us? We haven’t been able to find you.

Fabiola: Devi you left quickly. Are you okay?

Paxton: Babe, I know you are mad at me but please tell me where you are. I want to make sure you are okay?

Ben: David, please don’t disappear on me. I love you and I want to be there for you.

She first sent a group text to Fabiola and Eleanor.

Devi: I’m so sorry guys, I felt tired and I left early.

She then texted Paxton.

Devi: I wasn’t feeling well so I left early. I’m sorry about our fight.

She ignored Ben’s text because she specifically told him she wanted to be with Paxton.

“Devi, are you home?” Shit, she realized. She didn’t want to face her mother right now. So, Devi then pulled the covers over her and tried to sleep. Nalini came in and saw her daughter asleep, so she left her alone.

After her mother left the room, Devi kept tossing and turning. She managed to sleep after some time for a few hours. Next thing she knew she saw Des come into her room and started touching her again. Devi tried pushing him off but she couldn’t move. Next thing she woke up in bed, all sweaty. The soreness between her legs was still there.

Devi put her head in her pillow and started sobbing again, quietly so no one would hear her. She was afraid to fall asleep because Des’ words were still in her head.

Thoughts were pondering in her head, about what would happen if she told people. Her friends would probably think she was crazy and more drama would ensure. Paxton, her sweet loving boyfriend, would think she cheated on him again even though she didn’t want to have sex with Des. And then, there was her family. Kamala, the cousin she was close to would think she is broken and needs help. Her mom would probably look at her with disgust and worry about the family reputation since this was her friend’s son. Pati was probably a wild card but would also probably worry about what other people thought. She made a lot of friends in town since living with them, and gossip spread like crazy. Especially with the stunt Kamala had pulled with Prashant. Also, she was friends with Des’ grandmother. Overall, friendships would be destroyed due to her.

The one person she could really talk to, her dad, was no longer here. He could teach her how to stay strong and that this wasn’t her fault. Why did life have to suck so much? The tears from her eyes continued falling.

She could probably tell her therapist but decided she did not want to go down that route yet. If her therapist thought she was in danger, she was going to be reported.

Devi continued to on and off sleep for the next few hours.

At around 9:30 am, Devi was half asleep when she heard a knock at her window, Paxton outside of it. She quickly got up and went to unlock it, letting Paxton inside.

“Paxton? What are you doing here? I am so sorry, I should have texted you before leaving.”

“Devi calm down, let me sit down so we can talk.” Devi feared the worst, so both laid down on her bed Devi’s head leaning against Paxton.

Paxton then spoke up. “I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn’t have pressured you to tell your mom about us and I also have been angry at Zoe for getting into my personal space. I told her I have a girlfriend and I do not want her to come on to me anymore. You have no idea how lucky I am to have you as my girlfriend.”

Devi smiled as he said that. “Thank you, Paxton that really means a lot. I will admit that I am not perfect I saw you last night trying to fight off Zoe. I had a long week and was stressed out by my grades so I guess I was in a shitty mood last night. I left early cause I wasn’t feeling well last night. Also I am not ready to tell my mom because every time she sees us together it hasn’t gone well and I am worried about you icing me out.”

Paxton looked at her and said, “I’ll always be by your side, no matter what.” She leaned to kiss her boyfriend almost forgetting about what Des did to her.

Paxton stopped her. “Wait Devi. Let me say something. I will admit that I get jealous when I see you and Des hanging out. It’s nothing to do with you, but he is smarter than you, so it sometimes looks like he is better for you than me. Despite that, I appreciate you told him that you wanted to be with me.”

Hearing Des’ name almost made her cry again. She considered telling her boyfriend what happened but decided against it. Luckily, she managed to keep it together and said, “I love you, not him.”

Paxton noticed Devi’s face. “Are you okay? You seem puffy.”

Shit, Devi realized. “I’m just missing my dad. I know it’s been over a year but his birthday is coming up soon. Aka, almost the time when we spread his ashes.” Paxton didn’t seem convinced by her answer, but he didn’t want to start another fight.

“Devi, it’s okay to still miss him. You were close with him and having that taken away from you, suddenly it’s a lot to handle.” She kissed her boyfriend again and then her stomach growled.

Paxton then changed the subject. “Do you want to grab food or something?”

“If my mom lets me out of the house, then yes.”

“Cool, I will wait outside and then text you.”

Paxton climbed out of Devi’s window just as she heard footsteps.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Even though Devi heard footsteps, she jumped when her mother entered her room.

“Jeez mom, are you trying to scare me?”

“I was trying to make sure you were not still sleeping; you went to bed early last night and it is late in the morning. It’s not healthy sleeping that much.”

“Well I’m awake now, are you happy? I didn’t sleep well last night.” Devi snapped. Nalini raised her eyebrow because she clearly didn’t like her daughter’s attitude.

“Are you okay, kanna? You seem puffy. Did something happen at the party last night?”

Devi was scared about her mom finding out. “I was just missing dad even though it’s been over a year. His birthday is coming up.”

Nalini came and hugged her. “I will always miss your father no matter how long it’s been. It’s okay to be sad about it. But you are the best thing he ever gave me. I love you no matter what.”

Devi smiled. “I love you too.”

“Are you sure nothing else is going on?” Nalini kissed her forehead and put her hands on her shoulders.

“Other than being stressed with school, I am fine.” Devi hesitated whether to tell her mom but she didn’t want to ruin the relationship.

“Take care of yourself, your grades are going to drop if you keep worrying. These next two years are important.”

“Speaking of taking care of myself, is it okay if I go out for breakfast with the girls? We will be meeting up at the library to do homework after.” The memories of last night were still in her head and she needed a distraction. Lingering at home would only mean worrying about what her mom was going to say next.

“Yes but be home by 4. I need you to weed the garden, and there are other chores needed to be done around the house.”

“Thanks mom.” Nalini left the room and Devi texted Paxton that she would be out in five minutes.

As Devi made sure she had clean clothes, she took off her pajamas and stared at herself in the mirror. The hand-shaped bruises Des had left were lingering. She felt ugly and it was only a matter of time before Paxton realized how broken she really was.

She put on a sweater and jeans, grabbed her books, and then went to meet Paxton by his jeep at the fire hydrant. That landmark became their meetup spot because it was where her house could not be seen.

“Hey I told my mom we would be doing schoolwork after so I took my books with me.”

“That’s fine, I also want to keep my grades up if I want a shot at getting into college.”

 She went and leaned against Paxton’s jeep while giving her boyfriend a passionate kiss. Within a few seconds, the touch she felt was like the one Des gave so she quickly pulled away.

“Sorry I don’t know why I did that.” Paxton smiled and told her they could go slow. Both climbed into the jeep while they headed out. Thoughts kept popping up in her head during the drive there. Luckily, Devi was able to distract herself after he pulled up at IHOP.

“I love this place! My dad and I used to go here a lot when I was little.” Devi got excited.

“Oh, IHOP always has the best pancakes.”

Devi was able to forget what happened during breakfast. She enjoyed having the chocolate chocolate chip pancakes while Paxton had the cupcake pancakes.

At Paxton’s house, they both managed to get their homework done. But the trouble wasn’t over yet.

Paxton and Devi started kissing then it proceeded to Devi lying down on his futon while Paxton was on top of her, kissing passionately. Paxton reached underneath her shirt when suddenly Devi saw Des. He smirked at her while touching her.

“Stop! Get off me!” Devi shouted.

“Devi?” Paxton asked looking concerned. Devi was bought back to the present moment as Paxton seemed to have taken a few steps back.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I am ready to have sex.”

“Devi it’s okay, I only want to do what you are comfortable with. Sex was not my intention.”

“I should go, I keep making things awkward.” Devi grabbed her things quickly and left the garage towards her home, tears running down her face. She had managed to keep her dream boyfriend all this time and she wasn’t sure how she could keep going with him if those flashbacks kept coming back.

By the time she got home she managed to get upstairs to her room without anyone noticing and shut the door. She went to the bathroom she and Kamala shared and accidentally knocked down her razor and broke one of the blades. She could tell the blade was still sharp, so without thinking, she took her pants off, and slid the blade across her thigh watching it bleed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Devi saw what she had done. She had a feeling she was doing more harm than good, but she knew she deserved to be hurt. No one would see her thigh, so she picked that location. She wanted to show that she was in control. Her father dying, out of control. Her overbearing mom, out of control. Her paralysis, out of control. And most importantly, Des raping her, out of control.

She quickly cleaned the cut with a damp towel until it stopped bleeding. Devi pulled her pants back up and went back to her room. Her phone had a text from Paxton.

Paxton: Are you okay? You left quickly. Did I do something wrong?

Devi quickly replied saying that she panicked and then went to weed the garden like she promised her mom. While she was outside, she remembered all the memories with her dad working in the garden. She felt that lump in her throat knowing the one person who was her rock was taken away from her. Nevertheless, in two hours, she managed to weed and clean out the garden.

After she was done, she stared at some vendakkai that she ended up picking for five minutes.

Pati noticed her behavior from the kitchen and came out.

“Devi” Pati said as she put a hand on her shoulder.

“I remember Dad used to love gardening. I never really liked store-bought vendakkai, but I always love the ones he grew.”

“You used to love gardening with your dad. Are you okay? Your mom said you were upset this morning.”

“Pati, I’m fine. It’s just school and the fact I am missing dad.”

“Take care of yourself, please we are not ready to lose you.” Pati and Devi then hugged.

“Now come inside, I assume your mom has other chores you need to get done and you can help me with dinner.”

Dinner that night was the same monotonous routine, she managed to keep it together while listening to the conversations between her mom and grandma. She was trying to remain strong but she was worried about her family finding out. She felt that lump in her throat while she tried to eat the masala dosa that Pati made. Eventually, her mom and Pati noticed her staring at her food constantly.

Pati spoke up. “Devi, I made your favorite. Are you okay?”

“Yes Pati, I’m fine. I guess I’m just not hungry.”

Nalini piped in. “Really, Devi, this isn’t you. You are usually a firecracker at the dinner table. What’s up with you? Are you sick?” Nalini rushed over to her side and placed her hand on her forehead.

“Gosh mom, I’m fine. I think I am just tired.” Devi was clearly irritable because she was saving herself in case her mom was going to fight.

Nalini was getting concerned but then decided to drop it. “Okay fine but take some rest.”

After dinner, she helped her mom and Pati clear the table and wash the dishes. Her mom questioned whether there was something she wanted but she shrugged it off.

Devi went to the bathroom after dinner and fetched the razor blade she had saved. Pulling her pants down, she made a slice across the other thigh, watching blood flow out.

After Devi had cleaned the cut, she decided to try the grief journal that Dr. Ryan had suggested.

Dear Dad,

I need you, but you are not here. This is the time when I am moody, and I feel alone. I could never tell anyone about this but you. At a party, I was forced to have sex with my mom’s friend’s son, Des. He is the type of guy all Indian parents would approve of. But to me, he is not a nice guy. I feel disgusted at him, his hands all over me. No matter how much I try to forget it, I can’t. The only way to feel in control is by cutting. If mom found out, she would think I am trying to get attention. She and Pati would be disgusted with me. I would also be destroying friendships because Mom is friends with Rhyah. My own friends would probably think I was crazy. Paxton would dump me because I had sex with someone else.

However, If you found out what happened, you would tell me this wasn’t my fault and teach me how to stay strong. You would also threaten to kill Des after what he did, but also comfort me in the way I needed. I would still be your perfect girl. I needed to hear those words from you, but you weren’t here. Where were you when I needed you?

Devi felt tears falling, the drops hitting the pages, wetting the journal. She felt a little better after writing but it wasn’t the same as talking to someone. There was no one to give her a hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Devi tried lying down on her bed in a cocoon, holding one of her stuffed animals. She tried falling asleep for some time, only to hear a knock at her window half an hour later.

Paxton came in her room and sat next to her on the bed. “I missed you. Are you okay? You look so beautiful.”

“You look so handsome too.” Devi sat up and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend, kissing him.

She heard a snort that didn’t sound like Paxton. She looked up and saw Des pushing her onto her bed holding her wrists so she couldn’t fight back.

Des laughed. “I can’t believe you thought I was your boyfriend. Let’s continue the fun, shall we?” He kept holding her as his hand went inside her pants.

Suddenly Devi woke up all shaken. She had another nightmare. Her head was hurting, but she couldn’t sleep.

She walked back to her bathroom and took another shower. She winced as the water hit the cuts she made but she tried her best to scrub every inch of her body, especially down there. After about 20 minutes she realized she would get nowhere, so she came out and stared at herself in the mirror.

She took out the razor blade and slid it twice this time, one on each thigh on open spots. After cleaning her cuts and putting her pajamas on, she locked her window, walked back to her bed, put her head in her pillow, and closed her eyes.

It was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

The weekend went by too quickly in Devi’s opinion. Yesterday, she spent the whole day in her room telling her mom and Pati she needed to study so they wouldn’t question her. That wasn’t a full lie, she did some studying so she wouldn’t fall behind. But the rest of the day, she spent it lying down on her bed and feeling numb. Usually, she was excited to go to school, but now she was dreading leaving the house. She didn’t sleep well over the weekend. Of course, there was no way her mother would let her skip school. Thank god Des didn’t go to the same school as her. The goal was to avoid Des for as much as she could.

She found a sweater dress that covered her thighs because she wanted to impress Paxton. Before she put the dress on, she stared at her thighs. Several more cuts were added yesterday because Devi needed a sense of control. Just as she was about to make another cut, she heard her mom yelling that she needed to hurry up. So she quickly put on her dress and headed to the car.

During the right to school, Devi stayed silent as her mom talked at her about the American public school system. This was her mom’s normal routine, and she was used to it. However, her mom thought it was odd that she was quiet on the way. Usually, her daughter would have a snarky comment. Nevertheless, she told Devi to have a good day.

When she got to school, she realized she hadn’t seen her friends since Friday, so she went to meet up with them in the student lounge. She spotted Eleanor, Fabiola, and Aneesa sitting down.

“Hey guys. I’m so sorry I have been MIA and that I forgot to text before leaving the party.” Devi was talking quickly as she sat down.

“Devi we were just worried. I saw you leaving quickly and I thought you were crying.” Eleanor came and gave her a side hug. So Devi hadn’t done a good job of leaving quickly.

“We somehow thought it was Paxton but he told us he was just as worried. I can tell he loves you very much.” Aneesa added.

“I don’t know, I guess I was just missing my dad. I know it’s been over a year but it still hits me every now and then. But I swear I am better now. Plus Paxton came to apologize Saturday and we hung out.” Devi said, hoping her friends wouldn’t keep questioning her.

Fabiola said, “Devi, you lost the person you were closest to, it’s okay to still feel sad about it.”

Devi then wanted to change the subject. “Enough about me, did anything wild happen at Trent’s party?”

Fabiola said, “Well Ben drank too much beer while we were playing “Are You Smarter Than a Ben?” and I found him puking in the woods. He did say he deserved it because I told him I didn’t like the way he treated people in the past. Aneesa, he was a real jerk to you and Devi he was so mean to you for years.”

Aneesa nodded. “Word.”

“Fab, don’t worry about it. I forgave Ben a long time ago. Also I’ve kind of been a bitch to him. How about you, Eleanor?”

Eleanor added “Trent was so happy he saw Ben puking because his dream was to see someone puke. I am pretty sure there were tons of drunk people after but that doesn’t matter because we shared a kiss.” Eleanor giggled.

Devi chuckled. “I definitely would have laughed at Ben puking.”

Aneesa asked. “So, how was it hanging out with Paxton? We want details.”

Devi went silent for a second. She couldn’t bare to talk about how when she tried making out with Paxton, she had a flashback of what happened with Des and how she freaked out and left. She was also distracted because she didn’t want her friends to think she was a slut.

Eleanor waved. “Hello earth to Devi? Are you okay?”

Devi was bought back to the present with her friends staring back at her. “Oh it was fun, he climbed through my window in the morning to apologize and we were lying down on my bed, leaning against each other. Then we went to IHOP, studied at his place, and made out. I mean we haven’t had sex yet so nothing much to say.”

Fabiola looked at Devi with a puzzled expression. “Devi, you’re being weird. Are you doing alright? You suddenly started talking fast. And it’s fine that you haven’t had sex yet. Your integrity is more important.”

Devi started talking again. “Yeah Fab, I’m all good. I am just hoping to do it soon, you know. What about you, Aneesa? How was the party in your perspective?”

“Oh, nothing much to say. I just hung out with some of the guys. Anyway, I thought Des was cute, but he seems more interested in you Devi.”

Fear hit Devi. “What do you mean interested? Because I told him I am with Paxton.”

Aneesa replied. “He seemed upset that you were with Paxton, and he wanted to prove that he would be a better boyfriend. Not sure what his intention was.” Devi felt guilt hit her as Aneesa said that.

“Oh he kind of knew I was having boyfriend issues because we had gotten into a fight but I didn’t go too much into detail. Did you have fun, though? You deserve to have fun after the way Ben treated you.”

“I did, Devi thanks.” They all hugged.

“Devi! There you are! I was looking for you!” She heard Paxton call out to her. Devi ran to him and pressed his lips against his.

Eleanor interrupted, “She was just catching us up on what happened this weekend. You guys had a fun makeout session.”

Devi said, “Yeah sorry, I haven’t seen my friends since the party and I needed to talk to them.” She checked her phone and then started talking quickly. “Oh look at the time we should head to class.” Paxton gave the girls a confused look as he started walking with Devi, hand in hand. He was confused at what he heard because Devi had felt scared at his place. Why would she lie to her friends, he thought.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Devi hated her friends questioning her personal life and she didn’t want Paxton finding out the truth. She almost felt like crying again but she refused to do that in the hallway, so she just stayed quiet as they were walking.

“Devi are you sure you’re okay?” Paxton pleaded.

“Yes, I really got to get to class.” She quickly kissed him and headed to AP Physics. She wasn’t completely lying she needed to get to class quickly without people seeing her. A few minutes later, Ben arrived and sat down next to her.

“Sup David.” Devi literally jumped as he said that.

“Jeez Ben, you scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry, but I haven’t heard from you all weekend. I saw you in tears as you left the party. I tried texting you but you never replied. My guess was Paxton. You guys did get into a fight.”

“Okay first, that’s not what happened. Paxton and I did get into a fight, but he apologized, and we hung out on Saturday. Second, I had a lot on my mind this weekend. And third, I just miss my dad.”

“I am here if you want to talk about it.”

“I am not breaking up with Paxton because I love him okay.” She snapped, clearly in a bad mood cause she hadn’t slept.

“Okay fine, geez.”

“I heard you had the time of your life at the party though.”

“More like trying to prove Fabiola wrong in how smart we both are. Also, she told me how much of a douche bag I was to you for years. So I am really sorry for that. Even though you broke my heart.”

“It’s cool Ben, honestly I am so sorry for how I treated you.”

More students started piling into class and then the teacher came in and started the lesson. During class, Devi tried her best to concentrate but felt violated by what happened. She tried distracting herself by taking notes. Most of the time, she and Ben would always race to see which one could answer the most questions. However, that was not the case today. She didn’t have any energy to do anything but take notes and stare at her books. It was a good thing she was book smart otherwise her mother would start questioning her about her grades.

Devi was deep in her thoughts when their teacher assigned a lab to do for the rest of the class. She didn’t realize Ben tapped her shoulder and asked how they wanted to tackle the experiment.

“David, did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry I was distracted. What’s up?”

“How about I get the materials while you look through the lab packet? That way, we can decide how to do this even though I will probably have a better idea.”

Devi nodded. “Sounds good.”

While they were working together, Devi kept agreeing with everything Ben said. She did pitch in ideas here and there which Ben found sketchy.

After class, Ben wanted to talk to her as she went to her locker to grab some things. “Okay what the hell was that, Devi?” he said all frustrated.

“What do you mean? We got a good grade why can’t you accept that? This will help you for Columbia.”

“Because I am not used to my nemesis just suddenly agreeing with me for everything. My only guess is Paxton Hall Yoshida has been a dick to you again. I love you Devi, you can tell me anything.” He reached to cup her face before Devi smacked his arm.

“Okay you know what, why don’t you just mind your own business?! I already told you I love Paxton and I am not dumping him for you.” Devi screamed, not realizing the rest of the school was staring along with Paxton nearby.

As soon as she realized people were staring at her, she couldn’t take it anymore and rushed to the bathroom, ignoring Paxton calling out for her. Once she was in the stall, she felt tears flowing out again. She pulled up her dress to examine the cuts. This whole breakdown was embarrassing and if she couldn’t handle being in school for one day, how was she supposed to live like this.

Devi knew class was starting soon, but at this point she was in no mood to move. It didn’t help that her next class was AP English with Mr. Kulkarni. However, she had a plan to come up with an excuse for Mr. K and to get the makeup work. On the bright side, everyone in her family didn’t like him so there was a low chance he would tell them she skipped class.

“Devi?” She heard the bathroom door opening and Aneesa knocking on the stall.

“Aneesa, I’m sorry I don’t know what just happened.” Devi came out to talk to her.

“Are you okay, Paxton heard what happened and sent me to check on you. He is pissed at Ben right now, not you. He was ready to fight him until Mr. Shapiro threatened to send them both to the principal.” Both girls sat down while talking.

Devi laughed as she heard that. “I’m fine, I swear. I don’t know what came in me. We had worked on a lab experiment together and since I was distracted, I kept agreeing to all his ideas. Apparently, that didn’t seem to satisfy him.”

Aneesa added. “I agree with you that guy doesn’t know what he wants. When we started dating, it seemed like he was all in at first but when he saw you with Paxton, he got very distant. Then I thought, enough is enough, I need someone who gets me. Paxton seems to get you.”

“Thanks Neese. I am hoping you will find someone soon enough.”

“We should get going, we are already late to class.”

“I think I’m going to skip there is no way I can face the school right now.”

“Fair enough but what are you going to tell Mr. K? And what if your mom finds out? You know Indian moms.”

“I will bribe him, especially with the fact that my family hates him. And if he tells my mom I will say I wasn’t feeling well but I couldn’t go home.”

“Okay, well I should get going, I don’t wanna be late. Also, you should text Paxton, make sure you are okay.” Aneesa left the bathroom leaving Devi to her thoughts.

Devi hid in the bathroom for the rest of the period and tried to figure out how to make it through the day without people finding out. The pain was hitting her emotionally, everywhere.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Once the bell rang, Devi walked out of the bathroom ready to tackle the rest of her classes. She spent the rest of the school day trying to concentrate but she didn’t have the energy to do anything but take notes.

She was on her way to lunch when she heard Mr. Kulkarni.

“Vishwakumar, I need you for a second!” Devi took a deep breath as she walked over to Mr. Kulkarni slowly hoping he wouldn’t be mad at her.

“Yes, Mr. Kulkarni?”

“You skipped my class.”

“I wasn’t feeling well so I had to lie down.”

“Devi, you should have gone to the nurse. But anyway, you are one of my best students so I will let it slide. If this continues, I will be contacting your mother. It is the last thing I want to do since everyone in your house kind of hates me, but I have no choice.”

“I understand, Mr. K I am so sorry.”

“Thank you, Devi make sure you read chapter 7 of Silent Spring for next class.”

Devi nodded her head and walked away before Mr. Kulkarni had the chance to say anything else. He thought it was weird she just ran away like that. She was not only his favorite student but also his girlfriend’s cousin. If things were going to work out between him and Kamala, Devi was going to be his family. Regardless he decided to let it be and continue with the rest of his day.

As soon as Devi arrived at lunch, she spotted Paxton sitting with Trent and Marcus. Suddenly she saw Paxton come over to her and lead her to an empty table so they could eat alone.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Devi finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I’m with you not Ben.”

“Don’t worry I trust you I was ready to punch Ben Gross myself. The fact that you stood up for me makes me love you even more.”

Devi blushed as he said that. Then she said, “I heard you tried fighting Gross.”

Paxton laughed. “Yeah, the whole school was staring at us.” Then his expression changed into a serious one. “But enough about me. Is something going on? You were upset when you left my house on Saturday then you lied to your friends saying you had a good time. I am serious about the fact that I only want to do what you are comfortable with.” Paxton held Devi’s hand gently as he said that.

“I swear I am just stressed, and you know there are some parts of our relationship kept private.”

“I get that, but your friends should at least know whether you are okay or not. Also, the way you were yelling at Ben Gross, I haven’t seen you this angry before.”

“I don’t know what got into me I think my mom has been on my case lately about my future, so I guess I am enraged.”

“Want to come over after school?”

“I can’t I have orchestra but maybe after.”

Just then Ben walked over to their table. Paxton spoke up angrily once he saw him.

“I don’t know whether I should be angry or uncomfortable to see you.”

Ben said, “Relax guys, I wanted to apologize to both of you. Devi, you have been my rival since kindergarten, and you keep me motivated. You just haven’t been yourself lately, so I just wanted to make sure you are okay. But I shouldn’t have interfered between you and Paxton. Paxton, you make Devi happy in many ways. So, I am happy for you two to be together.”

A minute of silence passed before Devi spoke up. “Thanks, Ben that really means a lot.”

Paxton added, “Thanks man.”

After lunch, Devi tried her best to concentrate but found herself staring at her notes. Luckily, none of the other teachers started questioning her. Paxton wanted to get some studying done after school while waiting for Devi so they could have fun at his house. He went to the student lounge where he found all of Devi’s friends and Ben hanging out. There was an empty seat next to Fabiola.

“Hey guys is this seat taken?”

Eleanor said, “You can join us. Trent should be on his way soon.”

Paxton thought for a few minutes before speaking up. “I don’t know if I am overreacting, but did you notice anything off with Devi? I should have mentioned this when you apologized Ben, but you said Devi hadn’t been herself lately. When we were hanging out Saturday, she started freaking out and left quickly. I told her I only want to do what she is comfortable with.”

Eleanor nodded her head before speaking up. “I saw her leave the party early, and it looked like she was crying. I thought you guys had gotten into a fight at the party.”

Fabiola added, “She was talking fast to us and told us you had fun on Saturday. From what you are telling me, it sounds like she is lying to us.”

Paxton added, “Exactly! I was confused because she usually tells you guys everything but this time, she said something about keeping some parts of our relationship private. I told her that you guys would want to know whether she is okay.”

“She told us she was missing her dad but something’s off with her. Maybe she got into a fight with her mom.” Aneesa said.

“Devi and her mom fight all the time, she constantly tells us everything. They are like the same person. There is something serious going on.” Fabiola said.

“Yeah, I have known Devi since kindergarten, and we would constantly fight for the answers during class. The fact that she didn’t do it today is suspicious. That’s kind of why she broke down. I shouldn’t have questioned her like that.” Ben said.

The group continued to do their schoolwork but were distracted by worrying about Devi. They all had their own theories about what was wrong with her but were worried about what would happen if they pushed her to talk. Everyone felt lost in their thoughts as they tried to think of a way to help Devi.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Devi came home after another embarrassing moment at Paxton’s house. She told Paxton her mom needed her for dinner which was kind of an excuse but at the same time she couldn’t face Paxton after what happened. They were in the middle of watching a movie when they tried making out again. When Paxton’s hand went over her bra, Devi suddenly had a flashback of Des again and quickly flinched. She quickly gathered her things and went home ignoring Paxton’s calls out to her.

By the time Devi got home, she was able to keep it together so her mom and Pati wouldn’t question her. She threw her stuff in her room, went back to the bathroom and pulled out the razor blade. She lifted her dress up, and slid the blade a couple more times on her thigh. She winced as she felt the pain but at the same time she didn’t care.

When she heard a knock on the bathroom door, she quickly hid the blade and bandaged her cuts so no one would notice.

She opened the door, only to reveal Kamala.

“Kamala! What are you doing here?” She hugged her cousin, all excited.

“Lab was not intense today, so I thought I would come for dinner. How are you doing?”

“School’s intense, Paxton and I are good together, and everything is good with friends.”

“Paxton’s not pressuring you into anything, is he?” Devi almost winced at the question because of what Des did.

“Of, of course not, he is a total gentleman.” Devi tried speaking confidently.

“You just stuttered; did he do something?” Devi was about to get defensive when her mother called them both for dinner.

“Mom just called us, let’s go.” Devi said, dragging her cousin downstairs. Kamala had known something was up with Devi by the way she was acting.

Dinner was the same routine that night, with everyone sharing stories. Devi didn’t have the energy to say anything because she was tired from the school day and didn’t sleep well over the weekend. She made sure to eat normally because she didn’t want her family getting suspicious. Nalini eventually noticed when she hadn’t said anything.

“Okay Devi, tell me one thing you learned in school today. I have hardly seen you and we want to see you talk.”

Devi rolled her eyes as she started talking. “Fine. I learned that any net force causing uniform circular motion is called centripetal force. Happy?”

“Not really because you have been in a bad mood this whole weekend and you haven’t said anything throughout the whole dinner. Is this about Paxton? I know you two are seeing each other from the way you look at him.” Devi’s head shot up as she heard that. “You haven’t been yourself these past few days.” Nalini said irritated. Devi got angry as she said that.

“This has nothing to do with Paxton. I don’t get why you hate him so much. You don’t know him like I do. I am just really stressed at school. Plus, I didn’t sleep well last night.” Devi snapped back.

Pati then intervened. “Calm down Nalu, this fighting isn’t going to help.”

“May I be excused? I am tired and would like to turn in early.”

Nalini thought for a moment. “Go. I see I have gone as far as I can get with you.”

Devi stormed up the stairs leaving the other three women in silence. Kamala waited a few minutes before speaking.

“I don’t mean to pry, but is everything okay with her? When I came over, she was talking fast and wanting to distract me when you called us for dinner.”

Nalini said, “She has been off for the past few days. Mohan’s birthday is coming up and she told me she was missing him, but I think something serious is going on. Did she tell you anything, Kamala? I know you two are close.”

Kamala shook her head. “She’s hiding something from me. She said school was intense.”

“That’s what she is telling all of us, but it looks like she hasn’t slept in days. You put too much pressure on her, Nalu. Let her be a kid.” Pati argued.

“I want the best for her, just like Mohan did. But at this point, I don’t know what to do.” Nalini put her hands on her face. These are the times she wished Mohan was here. He would easily be able to read Devi’s mind and offer the comfort she needed.

“Maybe she is being bullied and she is afraid to tell someone.” Kamala said.

“She could be having friend problems too.” Nalini pointed out.

“Look she is still your daughter, even though she may not be perfect. Maybe she is just trying hard to impress us.” Pati pointed out.

The women continued chatting until Kamala had to go home. Nalini knew she and Devi would have their moments fighting, but something was off. It seemed like every time she saw Devi, it looked like she had been crying. Nalini thought in her head how to approach her daughter. The last thing she wanted was for Devi to snap at her again. Even though Devi was disrespectful, she wanted to avoid another fight between them. She could tell she was hiding something, and she was pushing her mother out. It hadn’t always been easy for Devi to come to her, so she had to figure out a way to help her like Mohan did.

When Nalini went to check on Devi, she found her asleep with her head buried in a history textbook. Maybe her daughter was working too hard in school. She kissed her daughter’s forehead and gently removed the book without waking her.

As Nalini went to bed, she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time: guilt.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

It had been a week since the party, and currently Devi was sitting in Dr. Ryan’s office for her weekly therapy session. She had been silent because she didn’t know how to approach the subject.

“Devi, what’s on your mind? You usually make fun of my decorations.” Dr. Ryan asked gently.

“I honestly don’t know. I thought things were going well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and Paxton are great despite our fights, and I am working hard in school to get into Princeton. Also, I have my three best friends by my side.”

“But – “

“It’s almost a year since I spread my dad’s ashes. I constantly feel like crying myself to sleep. I thought things would get better, and I could be normal again.”

“Devi, you lost the person you were close to, it’s okay to still feel sad about it. Grief can come out in different ways. Also, birthdays are going to be extra hard.”

“I just want to get over it so it can stop hurting. How long does it take for that.” Devi felt tears falling.

“I’m going to be honest; you will not be over it at all. Instead, as time passes, it will get easier to deal with. There may be times a few years out where you will miss him, and the pain will come back. Everyone is different when it comes to experiencing pain and emotions. Maybe you can do something to honor your dad on his birthday.”

“Thanks Dr. Ryan. Also, I tried using the grief journal. I wrote to my dad how much I miss him. I wasn’t sure what else to say.”

“Good for you, girl. That’s a start. Maybe you can update him on your life. Write to him about topics you would talk about in person.”

When Devi got home that night, her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw Rhyah and Des over.

“Devi, I’ve missed you!” Des got excited. Devi felt like punching him in the face because he was acting like nothing had happened. Instead, Devi put on a fake smile.

“Des, what a surprise, what are you doing here?” Devi asked sarcastically.

“Devi don’t be rude they came over for dinner.” Nalini chastised.

“Come join us, Devi we are just about to eat.” Rhyah said, setting the table. Everyone was already seated, and the only empty seat was next to Des. The last thing Devi wanted to do was be near Des, but she didn’t want to put up a fight. Eleanor was having a sleepover tomorrow and she really wanted to go be there for her friends. Therefore, she had to show her mother some maturity. So, she slowly walked her way to the table and sat next to Des.

Throughout the dinner, she tried to act as normally as possible. Rhyah was the first one to speak up.

“So Devi, what have you been up to lately? I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“Just busy with school and extracurriculars. My goal is to go to Princeton.” Devi said.

“Devi loves her social life too. We had so much fun at the party last week.” Des said, exaggerating.

“Des, you were at the party last week? You didn’t tell me tell this, Devi.” Nalini said.

“Sorry mom, I guess I forgot to mention it.” Devi said, rolling her eyes.

“What about you, Des what colleges are you planning to apply to?” Nalini asked.

“I’m thinking Stanford, UCLA, MIT, Columbia, Duke, and UPenn. Stanford is my first choice though; I am applying for early decision.”

So far, she had managed to make through dinner eating her food quickly. The rest of the time everyone just talked about gossip around town. Next thing she knew, Des left hand had crept its way into Devi’s inner thigh. He slowly caressed his hand up her thigh until it touched her crotch. Devi suddenly felt frozen.

Nalini was the first one to notice. “Devi are you okay?”

“I’m fine. May I be excused? I have a test tomorrow that I need to prepare for.” Devi said quickly.

Nalini sighed. “Okay, sure go.” Devi rushed from the table as fast as she could, and she went into the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, she collapsed to the floor and felt herself shaking, chest tightening, tears starting to fall. She focused on the breathing techniques Dr. Ryan had told her about. Soon the panic attack subsided. Devi grabbed the razor blade and removed her pants to examine the cuts she had made. The middle of her thighs were covered in red marks. She found an empty spot on the side of her thighs and drew the razor blade across. As soon as she washed the cuts, she grabbed her history textbook and started reading.

Back downstairs, everyone was confused about what just happened.

“Is everything okay with Devi? Nal, you told me she had been upset all weekend.” Rhyah asked.

“I don’t know, she told me she was missing her dad, but something is off with her. Even she and Kamala are close but this time she has been hiding something from her. Des, you guys are close right? Did she tell you anything?” Nalini said.

“At the party she said she got in a fight with Paxton. I offered to help her, but she brushed me off.” Des shrugged.

“Even though I don’t like her dating, I wish she was dating someone like you. Paxton sounds like he is a bad influence on her. This sounds like the only reason for her mood swings.” Nalini said.

“I told her I was into her, but she is not into me like that. I could totally be a better boyfriend than Paxton. Instead Devi chose loser boy over me.” Des bragged.

“Okay enough, Des. Nalini doesn’t allow Devi to date, so we need to let it go.” Rhyah calmly told her son.

“Should I check on her? Maybe since we are close friends, she will talk to me.” Des asked.

“That’s nice of you, but maybe text her later. She most likely is doing schoolwork and doesn’t want to be bothered.” Nalini said. She was happy her daughter and Des were friends. Des was a good influence on her, working hard to get into Stanford. He was a polite Indian boy with a bright future.

If only she knew the truth about Des.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

Nalini was driving Devi to Eleanor’s shooting glances at her every now and then. She wanted to make sure her daughter went to Eleanor’s instead of using her as a coverup. Nalini wasn’t quite convinced of all the times she hung out with Paxton. Clearly, she had been too oblivious.

She did think it was odd her daughter hadn’t said anything. Usually, her daughter would be talkative. Devi was staring at the window trying to process the day’s events.

The day at school wasn’t too bad, except she jumped when she got a threatening message from Des.

Des: If anyone finds out what happened, you’re dead.

Devi had been so spaced out during the day, that she got startled when Paxton touched her shoulder. Paxton raised his eyebrow in confusion, but Devi told him she just got distracted. She knew if Paxton found out what happened at the party, he would hate her forever.

Towards the end of the ride, Devi finally spoke up.

“Thanks for letting me go, mom.” Devi was trying to play nice so her mom would stop questioning her. Even though she and her mom weren’t fighting as much, that was about to change if she found out.

“No problem, Devi, you have been stressed with school and I think you could use a night with your friends.” Nalini was glad she was not hanging out with Paxton. She had a suspicion Paxton was hurting her, and she didn’t want her daughter to be taken advantage of.

The sleepover was in full swing by the time Devi arrived. Fabiola, Eleanor, and Aneesa set up the snacks and makeup. Little did she know that they had planned to set up an intervention for her.

“Hey guys!” Devi was excited to see her friends, giving them a group hug.

“So Devi, we haven’t gotten a chance to see you all week. We need details! Are you and Paxton banging yet?” Eleanor asked.

“Not yet, and I am beginning to think that it’s pointless. I feel like if I am not comfortable getting to second base, then there is no way I can handle sex. I’m surprised Paxton hasn’t dumped me yet.” Devi said, shivering. She didn’t know if she could have sex again.

“Devi don’t worry about it. Paxton loves you. He was telling us that the other day when waiting for you to come out of orchestra.” Aneesa reassured her.

“Although my mom found out about us. Even though she hasn’t forbidden me from seeing him, she is finding all sorts of ways to make him look bad. She somehow thinks Paxton is hurting me.” Devi rolled her eyes as she said that.

Her friends looked at each other because they didn’t know what to say next. Fabiola decided to start.

“We know Paxton loves you, but you have been kind of acting weird lately. We are your friends, and we love you so if anything is going on you can tell us.” Fabiola came over and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.

“Devi, you’re our girl.” Aneesa added.

“Thanks guys, but I swear I have been moody because my mom has been on my case about school lately. Also, my dad’s birthday is coming up, so I guess it’s just hitting hard.” Devi almost wanted to tell them everything but couldn’t risk what her friends would think of her. They had already thought she was crazy last year after the two-timing situations and spreading the rumor about Aneesa. Even though she was raped, she didn’t want to ruin her reputation, not again.

Eleanor spoke up. “This sleepover will cheer you up, then.”

Devi changed the subject. “What about you, El? Are you and Trent banging?”

“Well, we’ve gone to second base, and I know he loves me but we haven’t reached that stage yet. At least we are all virgins here. Plus, the first time should be special with candles, roses, etc. We may have had fun at his party but I wanted him to focus on his celebration to adulthood.” Eleanor assured.

“Fab, what about you? Have you met a cute gal yet?” Devi asked.

“After I lectured Ben, I met Addison, one of Des’s friends. Once we started talking, we got an instant vibe. I asked them if they wanted to hit the movies sometime and they said yes.” Devi was starting to feel nervous. Her best friend was dating his best friend, and once everyone found out, all would go to hell.

“Devi! Earth to Devi!” Aneesa bought her back to the present.

“Sorry. Fab, I’m happy for you. It’s been too long since Eve.” Devi smiled.

The girls spent the whole night watching “To All the Boys I Loved Before” series, eating pizza, doing makeup, and just gossiping. Devi was able to forget what happened with Des by having some fun time with her friends. Having ice cream sundaes at the end made her feel better. Once everyone was fast asleep, Devi was drowsy. She slept for a couple hours and unfortunately had another nightmare.

Next thing she saw Des on top of her ripping her clothes off. She tried fighting Des but she couldn’t move. Rhyah even walked in and called Devi a slut. “Don’t touch me!” Devi screamed.

“Devi, wake up!” She found Fabiola and Aneesa shaking her. Devi was disoriented but realized she was in Eleanor’s room, and it was just a nightmare.

“Sorry, I just had a nightmare. I didn’t mean to disturb everyone.” Devi felt embarrassed as she said that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aneesa asked, warmly.

“I’m good thanks.”

Eleanor came rushing in. “Sorry I was just making sure my parents didn’t wake up. Devi what happened? It sounded like you were scared about something.”

Her friends knew something was up so she decided to tell them something else so they would stop questioning her. “I had a flashback of the day my legs were paralyzed. I was just afraid it would happen again.” Devi shrugged as she said that.

Fabiola raised an eyebrow. “You were screaming get off me. Was someone trying to hurt you?”

“Oh, um it was a paramedic in the dream holding me tight. You know, because I was freaking out that I had to go to the hospital. I was trying to be near my dad because I was so scared.” Devi said quickly. The girls suspected something was up but were all tired. They all agreed to go back to sleep.

Devi laid back down in her sleeping bag and tried to sleep. When she knew her friends were asleep, tears fell down again. She tossed and turned for the rest of the night, knowing she couldn’t keep her friends in the dark forever.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

Devi felt the warm air and the windy breeze. It was her dad’s birthday, and her mom decided the family should take a trip to Malibu. One year ago, they had spread his ashes.

Pati also decided the family should have a picnic while they were there.

“I remember your father loving this place, we had our first kiss here.” Nalini said.

Devi laughed. “No way, this was where you had your first date?” She said, facing her mother.

“Oh yes, your father thought we should take a drive here, because it was pleasant and there was a nice view of the ocean. Even when I was upset or depressed, this was our place to drive to.”

After a few prayers, Kamala played the song “Beautiful Day” and other songs Mohan enjoyed.

While sitting down and eating, Pati started telling stories about Mohan.

Nalini told Devi, “I remember your first trip to Malibu. Well, technically, your father told me since I was still at work. You were 6 months old, and he took you for a ride on the moped to Malibu. You seemed to like the fresh air and enjoyed it when your father put your toes in the water. As much as I was happy for you, I was worried something happened with you on the moped.”

Flashback

Nalini was pacing around outside. Mohan texted her saying he was out with Devi, but the moped was gone.

Just then the moped whirled around. As Mohan took Devi out of her baby carrier, he whispered while smiling, “Let’s not tell mommy about our adventure.”

Nalini came up to him, angry. “What is wrong with you? Taking our 6-month-old daughter on the moped!!”

“Nalu, relax. She enjoyed the ride.” Mohan told her calmly. Devi cackled as he said that.

“She is 6 months old. That is too young to be riding on a moped. I was already nervous about the idea of you riding that thing. What if something happened?” Nalini said, all frustrated.

“I had her strapped tightly in the baby carrier. Don’t worry, I didn’t let anything happen to her.” Mohan stroked her cheek as he said that.

Nalini breathed for a few minutes before gently taking Devi. “She really loves you. I am just worried, Mohan.”

“Are you jealous that I didn’t take you? You can ride with me for date nights.” Mohan teased her.

“Not funny at all. I am scared about riding that stick and yet you took our daughter on it without my permission.” Nalini snapped. Devi fussed as she got scared at her mother shouting. Her mother noticed and started rubbing her back.

“I get it you are worried, but I kept her safe during the entire ride. I drove slower than usual and wore my helmet. She’s my daughter too. I wouldn’t do anything to put her at risk.” Mohan reassured her.

“Where did you guys go anyway?”

“I took her to Malibu. She loved the fresh air and the water.”

“She went swimming?” Nalini was surprised.

“I held her tightly as she put her toes in the water. She enjoyed it. I told her about our first date there and she smiled. This is a place we can visit as a family.”

“That would be nice. Now come inside. I made dinner.” Nalini kissed Mohan while holding Devi then went inside.

End of Flashback

“See, I loved the moped from when I was a baby.” Devi joked around.

“Your father got the moped when you were two months old. I was yelling at him saying we would have no use for it. But he insisted that we could use it for date nights. I finally caved in a couple years later.”

“I’m glad you kept the moped. Dad would have been furious if you sold it.”

“He would have loved it. However, don’t think you are going to drive it anytime soon.” Nalini said, trying to eye Devi as she came up with a plan.

“Mom you already said that. Dad would have probably taught me though in secret of course.” Devi winked as she said that.

“From when you were born, I could easily tell you and your father would get along. He is always looking out for you, even though he is not here. He would also want us to continue coming here.” Nalini said gently.

Pati then chimed in. “Devi, you are all that is left of your father. Losing your father was hard enough; we can’t imagine losing you. Live your life to its fullest, okay?”

“Thanks Pati, I will.” Devi said as she continued eating.

Once everyone ate, they put their feet into the water. Before Devi knew it, the four women were splashing each other so much that by the time they left, their clothes were damp.

While Devi enjoyed the day at Malibu, she had a realization. The person she loved the most was taken away from her at an early age. That incident taught her one thing. Nothing lasts forever. Everyone leaves at some point.

With her virginity being taken away uncontrollably, she also learned the world is harsh. There was nothing she could do except suck it up and deal with it. Especially since the one person she was going to tell was gone.

She felt nothing but numbness.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Three weeks had passed since the party, and while Devi had tried her best to remain normal, she had a feeling she was depressed. More cuts had been added to her thighs. If there was any point Devi was being self-destructive, this was the time. She tried hanging out with her friends and Paxton, but the memories kept hitting her, so she left early. Everyone slowly started noticing something had been off.

Teachers had noticed at school that she and Ben were not fighting for the answers anymore. Ben thought it was weird, but he didn’t want to push Devi because the last time she ended up with a mental breakdown. Devi kept her grades up the best she could but was surprised when one test in precalculus came out to be 90%. Ben bragged that he got a 98, so Devi nearly lunged at him until the teacher had to pull them apart.

It was Friday before the weekend, and Devi was determined to go home and sleep. She was so tired because she couldn’t sleep. Her appetite was another story. She didn’t feel as hungry as she used to and when she ate, she couldn’t eat much. When she got home, she was surprised to see her mother home.

“Devi how was your day?” Nalini asked.

“It was fine, mom. What are you doing at home?” Devi asked, irritated.

“Checking up on you. Your teachers are worried about you and so am I. You haven’t been yourself in weeks. You even fell asleep in one of your classes. I thought you were missing your father, but clearly something is bothering you.” Nalini was getting worried.

“It doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t get it.” Devi tried to go upstairs but her mom stopped her.

“Devi, you are a mini-me. I was a teenager once too. I care about you.” Nalini tried talking to her.

“NO, YOU DON’T MOM! All my life it’s about being the good kid, our reputation and being perfect for you! Nothing I do is good enough for you! All I am is a burden! On the night dad died, you said I wasn’t your daughter! So yeah, I’m missing dad, because he would understand what I’m going through! If he was here, I would tell him.” Devi was getting angry.

“Well, he’s not here is he!?” Nalini was shouting now because she didn’t like this behavior.

“Whatever.” Devi tried brushing past her mom.

“Devi, come on, let’s sit and talk about this.” Nalini tried taking her hand, but Devi refused.

“Why don’t you just mind your own business and fuck off!” Nalini wasn’t sure what came to her after that as she slapped her daughter on the face and instantly regretted it after. Devi then stormed up to her room while Nalini put her face in her hands, trying to cool off.

“Nalu, that was harsh.” She heard a voice and saw her mother-in-law.

“Okay, I shouldn’t have slapped my daughter. But you have to admit that she was being overdramatic.”

“I heard everything she said, obviously she must be going through something. She’s also a teenage girl. You can’t expect her to think the same way as you. Why don’t you try talking to her?” Nirmala suggested.

“You heard what happened. She lashed out at me.” Nalini pointed out.

“No, you talked at her, not to her. She is missing the only parent she could count on. On top of that you pointed out her father is not here. Maybe she wants to talk to you, she just doesn’t know how.” Nirmala shook her head as she said that.

Nalini thought about what Nirmala said, trying to calm down. She knew, from when Devi was a baby, that she had that special bond with her dad. Nalini hardly had that kind of relationship with her own parents. Her own parents would go places and leave her alone. That’s why she didn’t know how to show love to Devi like Mohan did. She loved her daughter, she truly did. But it was easier for Mohan to take those kinds of parenting duties. When Mohan died, however, she was at a loss of raising her daughter.

As soon as Devi went up to her room, she cried in regret, guilt. Never had she gotten this angry at her mother before. She didn’t know what came over her. She didn’t mean to curse as the last time she called her mom a bitch she had gotten into so much trouble. Maybe she deserved to be slapped in the face. But she couldn’t be vulnerable in front of her mother.

Devi went into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She undressed herself, still feeling grossed out by her body type. Once she took the razor blade, she slid it across her thighs adding a few more marks. After she was done, she showered again trying to scrub off the areas where Des’ hands roamed around and cleaning her cuts. After 20 minutes she gave up and put on some pajamas. She then went to her bed and put her head in a pillow, trying to sleep because she was so tired.

Unfortunately, she managed to sleep for an hour before having another nightmare. This time Des came in and had sex with her while she was screaming at him to get off. Nalini walked in in the middle of them and started yelling at Devi saying that this wasn’t her daughter. Devi felt her vision getting blurry. Then she woke up, all sweaty. She found herself walking back to the bathroom, removing her pants and adding two more marks. Once she was done, she walked back to her bed and wrapped herself in a cocoon, putting her head in a pillow, tears falling again.

Nalini came in a couple hours later bringing a plate of food. Devi pretended to be asleep because she didn’t want another lecture from her right now.

“Devi, I’m sorry I slapped you.” Devi ignored her and tried to hide her face. Nalini continued to talk.

“You missed dinner, so I got you a plate of food.”

Devi looked up from her pillow, looking puffy because she could not avoid this conversation.

“I’m not hungry.” Devi mumbled. Nalini came and sat on the bed.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened? Because this is not the daughter I am seeing. I am your mother, and you will not talk to me that way.” Nalini said in an authoritative tone.

“I’m sorry, I had a quiz today and I don’t think I did well.”

“I checked your grades, and you did fine. Something else is up with you. You haven’t been this angry in so long. What really happened? Is it Paxton? You can tell me.” Nalini put her hand underneath her chin.

“Paxton isn’t the problem. Why can’t you back off?” Devi pulled back roughly.

“You are 16 years old, and I am your mother, so whatever is going on with you is my business. These past few weeks you have been irritable, moody, and your behavior earlier was completely disrespectful. Not to mention the cursing.” Nalini lectured, but also tried to be gentle.

“Well, I’d rather not talk about it.” Devi snapped, crossing her arms.

“Fine. You can consider yourself grounded for the rest of the weekend. I will be taking your phone and laptop away.” If her daughter wanted to play that game, fine but she was done letting Devi get away with this behavior.

“Whatever.” Devi rolled her eyes and put her head back in her pillow as her mother left the room with her devices. At this point she didn’t care. If her mom wasn’t going to care about her, why should she?

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

Devi spent the whole weekend studying and doing other chores her mom and Pati ordered her to do. She barely said anything to her relatives and just did what she was told. Pati tried talking to her again, but Devi had brushed her off gently.

Her free time she spent in her room hiding from her family, crying in bed. The number of cuts on her thighs also got added. She had a feeling her mom was going to look through her phone and that would be the end of it. Her mother looking upon her with disgrace.

But so far, her mother hadn’t bothered her about it and Devi liked it that way.

It was Monday morning and Devi was feeling sick with nausea. She had just changed into jeans and a sweater when suddenly she felt her stomach churn. Devi tried distracting herself by thinking about how to talk to her boyfriend and friends after the weekend. But it did not work.

Next thing she knew she dashed to the bathroom and started hurling whatever she had for dinner last night.

“Devi?” She could hear her mother’s voice calling out for her. Before she could respond to her mother, she started throwing up again not noticing her mother coming in and holding her hair back.

“I’m sorry.” Devi said weakly.

“That’s okay. Are you feeling sick?” Nalini gently asked, placing a hand on her forehead.

“I don’t know, I just started feeling nauseous this morning.”

“Okay, you are not going to school today.” Devi nodded and went back to her room to lie down.

Nalini went to get the thermometer and a Gatorade for Devi. Once she came back, she approached her daughter and sat next to her, on the bed.

“Open up.” Devi obeyed as Nalini put the thermometer in her mouth because she didn’t want to get into another fight with her mother. Nalini placed her hand on Devi’s head while the thermometer was in her mouth. Once the thermometer beeped, Nalini took it out and was surprised to see it read 98.6. “Well, you don’t have a fever.”

“I think I ate something bad for dinner.” Devi said.

“We all ate the same thing, and we feel fine. Is your head hurting?”

“No.” Devi lied, her head was hurting, but she didn’t want her mother to suspect anything else.

“What about any chills or fatigue?”

“I have been tired but only because I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Any cramps? Diarrhea? Constipation?”

“Mom!” Devi exclaimed, all embarrassed. Nalini raised her eyebrow because her daughter was still on thin ice after her rude behavior a few days ago. “No. I just feel sick to my stomach.”

“Regardless, you are staying home today. If you are still feeling sick tomorrow, I am taking you to the doctor.” Nalini said.

“Mom, it’s probably just a stomach bug. I’ll be fine by the evening.”

“Okay fine. We will see how you feel later. I am heading to work, but your grandmother will be home if you need anything. Drink the Gatorade.” Nalini kissed her forehead and left the room, leaving Devi alone.

Devi tossed and turned for a couple hours but was afraid to sleep because she would have another nightmare. The nightmares hadn’t stopped, in fact, they got worse as time went on. They were a combination between her family looking upon her with disgrace, Des touching her in front of everyone, her friends saying she was crazy, Paxton telling the entire school what a slut she was, and her mom disowning her permanently.

Devi heard a knock as Pati came in.

“How are you feeling, Devi?”

“Just nauseas and tired.” Devi said as she stared at the ceiling.

“I made you some rice porridge. That should calm your stomach.”

“Thanks. I’ll eat later.”

“Are you feeling okay? I know the fight that happened between you and your mother. You can talk to me, you know. I’m not your dad but I raised your father. So, he is a part of me.”

“Pati, I swear, I was just stressed out with school.” Devi was hoping her grandmother would drop the conversation.

“I think you are working way too hard. Sometimes it’s good to take a break.” Pati placed a hand on Devi’s arm.

“I mean, I’m resting right now instead of doing schoolwork.” Devi shrugged.

“Okay fine. But life is too short to be getting in these fights. You remember me telling you the last conversation I had with your father, right?” Devi nodded as Pati continued talking. “She is your mother, and she is trying her best, okay? Being rude is not going to get you anywhere.”

“Okay I will talk to mom then.”

“All right. I’m heading to Costco. Do you need any pads or tampons?”

“No thanks Pati, I’m all stocked up.”

“Okay kanna, take care. And please eat the rice porridge.” Pati said as she left the room. Devi stayed there for 15 minutes before eating some rice porridge. She also drank Gatorade that her mom left.

While eating, Devi had a realization. A month ago, she had bought those pads and tampons which she hadn’t used at all. They had been stocked up for a long time. She looked at the calendar on her phone and found out she was supposed to get her period a week and a half ago.

No, no, no. She couldn’t be pregnant. This was supposed to happen with irresponsible people, not people like her who didn’t want to do it in the first place. But then again, she didn’t remember Des using a condom. Maybe that’s why she had felt so angry. Regardless, she had two hours before her grandmother came home.

After putting on a sweatshirt, she walked 5 minutes to the nearest pharmacy and bought herself a couple of pregnancy tests. Just when she was about to check out, she saw Rhyah walk in.

Crap, if Rhyah found out then all would go to hell. Devi went to hide in one of the aisles where no one could see her. Luckily, Rhyah just got a couple of things and left quickly without seeing Devi.

Devi waited for a few minutes then went to check out. The cashier didn’t say anything as she rang the items. Once Devi paid, she shoved the tests into her sweatshirt pocket and quickly walked home. She pulled up the hoodie so no one would recognize her walking in the middle of the day.

Once she got home, she went up to her bathroom and opened the pregnancy tests. She peed on the sticks and set her phone timer for five minutes. While waiting, she kept walking around in the bathroom deep in her thoughts. It was just one time. Stress could cause a missed period, right? She was stressed lately due to school, extracurriculars and SAT prep. On top of that, she was trying to be on her family’s good side. Weight loss could also make periods stop, she read online. She was pretty sure she had lost weight because of her appetite.

Before she knew it, the timer rang, and she looked up as all three tests showed a plus sign.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

Devi always felt pain, but this was on a whole different level. This was a mixture of pain and numbness. Not only did she feel violated by Des but now she was pregnant with his baby. Sure, she was known as crazy Devi at school, but she never experienced something with these kinds of consequences. Now Des was going to be in her forever. If Devi were to describe how she was feeling in one word, her answer would be trapped. Suddenly Devi heard her grandmother come home.

Devi shoved the positive pregnancy tests in the tampon box and ran to her bed and pretended to be asleep.

Pati came in and saw Devi asleep and placed a pedialyte on her nightstand. As soon as Pati left, Devi kept tossing and turning as tears fell down her eyes.

She could not face anyone right now. There was no way she was getting into Princeton at this rate. If she chose to remain pregnant, she would be a total freak at school. There was always abortion, and that was what she wanted, but she had to figure out the logistics. On top of that, her mother had to be notified. That was the end of her life. While Des was out there living his life.

Devi went back to the bathroom and found the razor blade. After removing her pants and examining her thighs, she drew the razor blade again across her upper thighs. She was doing more harm than good, but at this point, she didn’t care. Everything was out of her control now.

As soon as she cleaned the cuts, she went back to her room and went on her phone to text Fabiola. Just then she heard a knock on her window and saw Paxton. She went to unlock the window and let Paxton in.

“Hey, I’ve missed you.” Paxton said. Both sat on her bed, leaning against each other.

“Yeah, I think I had the stomach bug, but I’m all better now. Hopefully, you don’t get sick either.” Devi smiled.

“I’ll take my chances. I tried texting you over the weekend, but you didn’t respond. I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you at all. I got into a fight with my mom and then she grounded me for the weekend. She thinks you are hurting me which is ridiculous.” Devi retorted.

Paxton looked back up at Devi then cupped her face. “Devi, your mother is just worried. You seem jumpy any time someone touches you, you haven’t slept well, and you haven’t eaten much as you used to. It looks like you were crying before I came. Baby, talk to me.”

Devi felt safe as he said that. However, she was pregnant with someone else’s baby and once Paxton found out, she would be all alone. Especially after the two-timing incident.

“I think I am too stressed out with school. I mean I was about to attack Ben Gross when he got a better score than me on that test Friday.”

Just then Devi’s phone beeped. “Let me check my phone I asked Fabiola to send me the notes from AP English.”

Paxton nodded. Devi felt frozen as she read the message.

Des: If your boyfriend finds out, you’re dead.

“Devi? What’s wrong?” Paxton took the phone from her hand before she could say anything.

“Paxton, wait –“

“If your boyfriend finds out, you’re dead. Finds out what?” Paxton raised his eyebrow.

“It’s nothing, he’s messing around in a creepy way.”

“Devi, you have been jumpy all month and every time I turn around, it seems like you have been crying. Is he bullying you?” Paxton was getting worried.

“What? No!”

“Devi, did something happen between you guys?”

“Fine. He accidentally told me I would be cool to have sex with when he was drunk, okay? Nothing physical happened between us. He apologized the next day and didn’t want me to tell you because you would freak out. If you want to break up with me, do it right now.” Devi said, trying to remain strong. She needed Paxton to drop the subject. When Paxton found out about Des almost kissing Devi, they both got into a huge fight. Paxton gave Devi the silent treatment until Des apologized to him defending Devi. Devi almost thought they were about to break up but she convinced him after she only wanted Paxton. Even though Des hadn’t tried to do something until the party, Devi didn’t want to risk losing Paxton. Not again.

“I’m not breaking up with you because you didn’t cheat on me. However, you have been really sketchy since Trent’s party. The way he texted you sounded like a death threat.” Paxton put his arm around Devi.

“I swear nothing else happened.” Devi was lying to her teeth, but she was not ready to admit what happened.

Just then Devi heard her mother calling for her.

“Shit, you need to get out of here.” Devi said.

“I’ll text you later.” Paxton kissed Devi as he climbed out her bedroom window.

Devi pulled out her books as Nalini stepped into her room.

“Hi kanna, are you feeling better?” Nalini came over and felt her face.

“Yes mom, it was just a stomach bug. I’ll be ready to go to school tomorrow. I am just catching up on work right now.” Devi was getting nervous because she didn’t want her mom to find out the truth.

“Good to hear. Rhyah and Des are coming over for dinner. Will you be joining us?”

“No thanks, mom. I’ll eat something later.” The thought of being near Des was going to make her sicker. Plus, she had to hide the morning sickness from her mom. Being away from people gave a higher chance of hiding the truth.

“Fine. Make sure to eat something. I don’t want you going to bed on an empty stomach. And don’t stay up too late.” Devi nodded as Nalini closed the door.

Devi spent the next few hours catching up on homework and studying that she missed today. As soon as she was done, she needed another shower. During the shower, she scrubbed her body vigorously trying to clean the parts where Des’ body hit. After she was done, she stared at her belly in the mirror and placed her hand on it, knowing it was going to get larger at some point.

Devi went back to her room in her towel to put on her clothes. Suddenly Des barged into her room.

“Hey, Devi. Your mom asked me to check on you. I was so worried when I heard you were sick.” Des laughed.

“What the hell! You can’t storm in when I’m changing! Get out!” Devi yelled, pulling her towel closer.

“No one can hear you. They’re all in the garage. Plus, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, you know.” Des smirked as he came closer to her.

“Des, get away from me! You can’t pretend like everything’s normal.” Devi was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Oh, come on, let me get another good view of you.” Des pleaded, removing her towel. He managed to push her onto the bed, put one hand over her mouth and used the other to rub and squeeze her breasts. Then he inserted his finger down there.

Fortunately, once someone was coming up the stairs, Des stopped and whispered in her ear. “That was a close call. No one will believe you if you tell them.” Des kissed her roughly, left the room and Devi could hear him telling everyone she was fine.

Devi went back to her bathroom, still in her towel, and collapsed to the ground. Tears were rolling down her eyes, her breathing was getting raspy, and she was having another panic attack. She focused on the breathing techniques Dr. Ryan taught her and soon she felt better.

Once her panic attack subsided, she took the razor blade, lifted her towel exposing her thighs, and drew the blade across. Soon, she washed the cuts. She quickly got dressed in her pajamas and collapsed on her bed, trying to sleep. She ignored her mom’s advice and skipped dinner. There was no way she was going back downstairs. If only her dad could advise her what to do.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Devi tried falling asleep for a couple of hours. She wished she could have one of those dreams with her dad so she could remember the good times. The only way she ended up falling asleep was by crying herself to sleep.

Devi heard a knock at the door and saw her dad walking in.

“Dad?” Devi asked tearfully.

“Yes Devi, it’s me. I came to check on you.”

“Well, I’m in trouble, dad. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Devi said, angrily. Devi never felt so vulnerable, not even the time she was 13 and got her first period in class. Her mom told her to suck it up because that was part of womanhood. Devi was so embarrassed she hid in her room for as long as she could. Until her dad gently talked to her saying her body and mind were changing so she was feeling emotional.

“Obviously not, but what happened to you wasn’t your fault. You are a strong girl who can fight back with her spirit.” He came to her side and hugged her as she sobbed into him. As soon as she let it out, she continued talking.

“What about me being pregnant? I didn’t want to have sex, especially with a guy who’s not my boyfriend, and now my life is over.”

“Kanna, your life isn’t over. Sure, this isn’t what I wanted, but you are still my perfect girl no matter what. You know how much I want to kill this boy for what he did to you, but my priority is being there for you. Only you can decide your future.”

“I don’t want to be pregnant at all. The thing is, if I get an abortion mom will find out since I’m 16. If you were here, I could tell you and then you could tell her for me.”

“Devi, you need to tell your mom the whole story of what happened. You two may not always see eye to eye, but she is overprotective of you.”

“Mom wouldn’t get it. She’s friends with his mother and once she finds out, she will hate me forever. She is constantly worrying about our reputation. If you were here, you would talk her out of it. She also hates Paxton.”

“Devi, your mother is worried just like I am. By the way you have been acting, she thinks Paxton did something to you. I don’t like the way you have been acting towards your mother but from what I have seen it’s the pregnancy hormones.” Her dad stroked her cheek gently.

“What about Paxton? He has been so sweet and if he finds out, I’m scared I will lose him too.”

“If he truly loves you, he will understand that what happened wasn’t your fault. He would also support you. If he’s not the one, then there will be at least one person out there who loves you just the way you are. Same with your friends. Personally, as your father, I don’t think any boy will be good enough for you. However, all that matters is you are happy.” Mohan told her reassuringly.

“I can’t control other people’s reactions though. I constantly feel like hurting myself because it’s the only thing I have control over. You are the only person I can talk to.”

“Yes, you have been cutting your thighs, Devi. I get it you are feeling hurt. But you are doing more harm than good, especially now that you are pregnant. All this stress isn’t good for the baby.”

“I just don’t know who else I can talk to about this. Des is constantly around because mom and Pati are friends with his relatives. I feel unsafe any time he is over.” Devi shuddered as she said that.

“For starters try talking to your mother. This will be hard on her, but she will understand because Des forced you into it. Talk to your therapist too. She will help you cope with the pain.”

“Thanks dad. I’ll try. I miss you.”

“I am still here in spirit. No matter what, you will always be my perfect girl.” Her dad kissed her forehead.

Suddenly Devi woke up from the dream. Her stomach churned again, and she raced to the bathroom quietly to throw up. As soon as she was done, she felt tears falling down her cheeks. Why couldn’t dreams be real? She thought.

She took the razor blade and was about to draw it across her thigh but stopped after thinking about her dad’s advice. Maybe she needed to accept what she was doing wasn’t going to make things better. At least she was able to talk to someone even though it was all in her dreams. But it wasn’t the same. She knew her dad would tell her everything would be okay.

But she also knew that she wasn’t going to be able to hide the morning sickness from her family any longer. The question was how to tell everyone. She quickly put the razor blade away, took the pregnancy tests from the tampon box and put it in her pillowcase. That was the last place her mom was going to look.

As soon as Devi went back to bed, she tried closing her eyes and figuring out how to prepare for the following days.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

Devi woke up having another sleepless night but the talk with her dead dad made it a little better. She knew she should try talking to someone, but she still felt alone. Anyway, that wasn’t on her mind today. Her goal was to try and make it through the school day without anyone noticing her morning sickness.

She kept it together during AP Physics. The whole period was spent doing independent work. Ben Gross hadn’t even questioned her when they were sitting quietly.

Unfortunately, that didn’t work during AP English. While Mr. K was lecturing, she felt her stomach churn. Quickly, she raised her hand.

“Mr. K, may I be excused?” Everyone just stared at her in disbelief.

“Devi, if you’re sick you shouldn’t be coming – “ Mr. K lectured.

“Please, its urgent!” Devi was really panicking.

Mr. Kulkarni signaled for her to leave. Devi was covering her mouth as she dashed to the nearest bathroom and retched whatever she had that morning for breakfast.

As she was throwing up, Zoey Maytag and Shira Aarons walked in. Devi didn’t notice them until Shira started talking to her.

“Woah Devi, you should go home if you are sick.” Shira said.

“No way. I’m fine.”

“What are you, pregnant or something? Paxton should know.” Zoey said sarcastically.

Devi blanked out for a second because she was worried they figured it out. “Oh my gosh. Are you?” Shira asked, surprised.

“It’s none of your business.” Devi snapped.

“Woah, crazy Devi cheated on Paxton last year. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did it to him again and knocked herself up. That way, Paxton will dump her and totally get back together with me. I mean she ruined Paxton’s life last year she will probably do it again.” Zoey said, happily.

“Why don’t you just go to hell?” Devi said coldly.

“Sweetie, we are just looking out for you. No need to be rude.” Both girls flipped their hair and left the bathroom.”

After she was done, she sat on the floor, shaking. Zoey was right about one thing; she was pregnant but by being raped by another guy. Still, if Zoey found out the whole school would know. If the whole school knew her family would find out. Through various sources.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure whether she could keep this secret from her family. Part of her wanted to take her dad’s advice and tell her mom. The other half of her knew she was taking a big risk revealing what happened to her family. Things would never be the same again.

Given Mr. K and Kamala were close maybe he would tell her she had been ditching class and that something was off with her.

“Devi?” She heard Fabiola come in. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m not sure what came over me.” Devi croaked.

“Mr. K asked me to check on you. Also, he gave you a pass to the nurse.”

“I’m good, Fab. I can’t miss another day of school.” Devi was not going home, otherwise her mom would take her to the doctor and find out she was pregnant. Fabiola put a hand on Devi’s shoulder.

“Devi.” Fabiola sighed as she started talking. “As your best friend, I am worried about you. You have been distant, and you were sick yesterday. I know you said you and Paxton haven’t done it yet, but just in case, are you sure you are not pregnant? “

“Fab, that’s not the case. I would have told all of you if we had sex. Yes, I have been distant, but my mom is just on my case about school. We have also been fighting because apparently, she thinks I should break up with Paxton.” Devi was half telling her the truth, yes, she was pregnant, but Paxton wasn’t the dad.

“Devi, as much as I hate to say it, but you have been upset and she is probably just worried about you. Paxton even told us you have been hiding stuff from us. He sounds like he is worried, but did he do something to you?” Fabiola tried asking warmly.

“God, that’s not what is happening here! My mom asked me the same thing. Why are you acting like he’s the bad guy?” Devi felt anger hitting her again.

“Well, we haven’t seen you much lately and we wanted to make sure Paxton wasn’t being a controlling boyfriend.”

Devi took a deep breath before she started talking again. “My mom grounded me this past weekend so I couldn’t leave the house. And he stopped by after school yesterday to check on me.”

“That’s sweet of him.”

The bell rang signaling the end of class.

“Look Fab, I get it you are worried. I am sorry for snapping at you. But I can assure you I am just really stressed out. I almost lunged at Ben when he got a few points higher than I did last Friday.” Devi pleaded.

“Okay fine. If something happens to you, you can talk to us.” Fabiola said.

“Thanks, Fab. We should head to class.” Devi said, leaving the bathroom. Fabiola wanted to believe what Devi said, but she knew something was off with Devi. She knew Devi had been off since she lost her father, but she used to be the same strong-headed girl. This time, she was acting jumpy and scared. All of this had been happening since the party. Not only that, but she was acting constantly defensive. Regardless, class was starting soon, so they had to get going. Whatever was happening, Fabiola was determined to figure it out.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

Eleanor, Fabiola, and Aneesa were sitting together during lunch talking about what happened with Devi in hushed secret. Devi had a newspaper club meeting, so she couldn’t join them. Soon after Paxton and Trent joined them. The group sat in awkward silence for five minutes until Fabiola spoke up.

“Okay Paxton, Devi is our best friend, and we care about her. This is kind of weird asking you this, but did you guys have sex?”

Paxton was taken aback at that question but kept his cool since he didn’t want to sound like an over possessive boyfriend. “What no, the farthest we have gone is making out. I told her I only want to do what she is comfortable with. Doesn’t she tell you this?”

“Usually she does, but this time she had been scared so we thought maybe the first time didn’t go well.”

Just then Zoey and Shira came up to the group. Zoey started talking. “Hey Paxton, we really care about you, so we got to tell you this. We saw Devi throwing up in the bathroom and she said she wasn’t sick. So, we think crazy Devi is pregnant and is trying to ruin your life.” Zoey said in a flirtatious tone.

Paxton got angry as he heard that. “Okay, first, stop calling her crazy! Second, it’s none of your business on why she was throwing up! And Zoey, I don’t want your hands on me ever again! I love Devi, and she is my girlfriend. Got it?”

Shira and Zoey looked surprised as he said that. Both left and the group sat in silence for a couple more minutes before continuing their conversation.

Fabiola started talking again. “Look, I think Zoey and Shira have a point. She was sick yesterday and today and she hasn’t been herself lately.”

“I have a feeling she is hiding stuff from me.” Paxton said, getting concerned. “But why are you assuming we had sex?”

“She dashed out of English class this morning to throw up. She said she was sick yesterday, so she didn’t go to school. We thought for some reason, she might be pregnant. But now you told us you didn’t have sex with her. Unless – “Fabiola stopped talking, because she didn’t want to bring that up in front of Paxton.

Paxton, however, stopped her. “No, there is no way she would do that. When she two-timed me with Ben last year, she acted as if nothing was wrong. This time there is something off with her. It looks like she hasn’t been sleeping well and she seems jumpy.”

Eleanor added, “Maybe she is stressed out with school.”

“Or Ben Gross could be giving her a hard time. You know how their rivalry works.” Aneesa said.

Another thought came to Paxton’s mind. “Wait, when I was at her house yesterday, she was checking her phone and she froze. I was worried so I took her phone and saw a threatening text message from Des. Devi told me that Des had flirted with her and didn’t want me to find out, so he told her not to tell anyone. I don’t believe her since the way he said it sounded scary. But at the same time, I didn’t want to push her.”

“You think Des is hurting her.” Eleanor said.

“I don’t know what to think at this point. The only way for us to know is for her to talk to us.”

“Wait, you said Des flirted with her? Do you think Des forced her into something?” Aneesa suddenly said. Aneesa thought back to the party, hearing Des’ complaints on how he wanted Devi but instead she chose Paxton.

“She sounded weird when she said he flirted with her. It looks like she has been crying these past three weeks.” Paxton said.

“Bro, your girl has been like this since my party. Maybe something happened there.” Trent said.

Eleanor was busy scrolling through her phone. She realized she had Devi’s password to all accounts, so she tried to look for evidence. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find anything.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Trent asked Eleanor, not realizing everyone else was staring at her.

“Devi’s password is Paxton69! to everything, so I signed into her accounts to see if I could find anything. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen anything suspicious.”

“El, that’s a bit insane looking through her things.” Aneesa said.

“Well, we are at a loss, and she isn’t talking to us. What else are we supposed to do?”

Paxton, meanwhile, couldn’t help but blush to know that Devi used his name for all her passwords. However, he also didn’t think it was his business to look through her personal belongings.

“Maybe we should try talking to her mom. We are out of options.” Fabiola said.

“Her mom hates me. Plus, you know Devi does not have the best relationship with her mom, won’t that make things worse?” Paxton questioned.

“Paxton, me and Eleanor will talk to her mom. She doesn’t hate us. Plus, her mom is worried about her too.” Fabiola and Eleanor knew Devi well enough to know even if her mom was harsh on her, her mom was overprotective of her and would want to know if something was wrong.

“And what exactly are you going to get if we tell her mom? None of us know anything. Fab, I don’t disagree with your suggestion completely, but I don’t think there is a point telling her unless we know something.”

Aneesa chimed in. “Paxton’s right, we should wait for Devi to tell us. You know Indian moms; they can be kind of judgy.”

Fabiola spoke up. “Okay you are right, let’s wait until we find out something.”

Kamala and Mr. K were having lunch in an empty classroom. Most of the students were in the cafeteria or outside, so no one would bother them.

“I’m so glad your work schedule was light today, that way we can have a date on a weekday.” Manish was excited to see his girlfriend.

“Me too I have just had a lot on my mind lately. The last time I came to the high school was for karaoke night.” Kamala leaned in and kissed him.

“Look, I don’t mean to pry, but is something going on with your family?” Manish asked, all concerned.

“The fact that my grandmother and aunt don’t like that you are a teacher. That’s the problem, they have high expectations for society. Like Prashant was an engineer, but he made my work problems worse. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about my ex. Manish, you understand me.” Kamala leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Thanks for the sentimental talk, but I was talking about Devi. As her teacher, and as your cousin, I am concerned. She hasn’t been herself lately. She skipped my class a couple of times. I thought about talking to her, but I figured you guys are close. Has she said anything to you?”

Kamala thought for a moment before answering. “You’re right, she has been irritable and jumpy. It seems like she is trying to avoid any conversation. I thought it was because I moved out, but every time I come home, she seems happy to see me. Wait, you said she skipped your class?”

“Yes, a couple of weeks ago she skipped for the first time. Today, it seemed like she was sick and left my class early. I also thought about telling your aunt but she is a good student so I thought I would let it slide. I warned her that I would have to tell her mom if she continued to skip which I really don’t want to do because both her mom and grandma hate me.”

“Wait, she was sick today?” Kamala was surprised.

“Yeah, I gave her a pass to the nurse in case she wanted to go home, but she declined.”

“My aunt said she was sick yesterday. I’m guessing Devi wanted to go to school so she told her mom she was feeling better. She and her mom have been fighting a lot lately. It’s normal for them to argue, but this is different. It seems like Devi has been upset. Maybe she is missing her dad. I mean it’s been about a year since we spread his ashes.”

“From what I have seen, Devi and Ben used to be at each other’s throats for the answers since the beginning of the year. Now it looks like Devi just wants to work hard. She isn’t as talkative as she used to be.”

“Wait you are a teacher, right? Is Paxton hurting her? Or is she being bullied?”

“From what I have seen, Paxton has been gentle to her. I haven’t seen any instances of bullying unless this is someone who doesn’t go to our school. Then again, I haven’t been playing detective over relationships in school.”

Kamala just stared at the ground. She and Devi were like sisters ever since she moved in. They practically told each other secrets that they wouldn’t want their relatives to know. Wait if she was sick and then she was moody, she was probably pregnant. She had to talk to her as soon as possible.

“Babe, are you okay?” Mr. K started staring at her.

“I guess, I just don’t want to give up on my family just because I moved out. I have been practically like an older sister when I moved in, so I still want to fulfill that role.”

Manish then kissed her. “You are like the best older sister to her. Just talk to her when you get the chance.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch hour so Kamala left. She had to find a way to talk to Devi, no matter what.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

Devi came home that day exhausted, not realizing she dropped her phone in the living room. She had a long day at school, a newspaper meeting, and four tests to study for. She missed lunch but she wasn’t hungry. Her friends and boyfriend had texted her, but she ignored them at school. Seeing them would make them suspect something. On top of that her sleep hadn’t gotten better. The debate tournament was coming up this weekend and she needed to be well rested. At this point she might as well pass out.

Devi had never looked so fatigued before. She had lost weight because she hadn’t eaten much, there were bags under her eyes, and she felt so alone. The good thing was she had managed to stay awake during the school hours. If any of her teachers caught her sleeping again in class, there would be more drama.

Once she got up to her room, she was about to get started on AP Government when suddenly she ran to the bathroom and started emptying her stomach. As soon as she was done, she brushed her teeth again and stared at herself in the mirror. She noticed she was a mess, but she didn’t care. At the end, she wanted to give her family something to be proud of.

Without thinking, she grabbed the razor blade and slid it across her thigh a couple more times. Once she was done, she cleaned the cuts and went to her room to get started on homework.

She managed to finish studying for AP Government and AP Physics when she fell asleep in the middle of AP Microeconomics. She didn’t realize she was asleep when Kamala came bursting in and shook her awake.

“Kamala? It’s the middle of the day. What are you doing here?” Devi woke up all drowsy.

“Well, I am free so I thought we could spend some time together.”

“I have four tests tomorrow and a debate tournament to prep for. I also missed a day yesterday, so I have work to make up. This is not the best time.” Devi said, all tired.

“You fell asleep, and you look exhausted which means you are working way too hard. Is something going on?” Kamala sat on her bed and looked at her.

“Just stress with school. I haven’t been sleeping well at night.” Devi shrugged.

“Devi, I visited Manish during school hours for lunch and he told me you felt sick during his class. Aunty also told me you were sick yesterday.”

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be minding his own business? This is the problem with you dating my teacher.” Devi snapped.

“As your teacher, it is his business and he told me because we are family when he really should have told your mother. Not to mention you have skipped his class a couple of times within the past month. He wanted to talk to you himself, but he thought you would open up to me since we are close.” Kamala said, gently.

“I didn’t want to miss another day of school, okay? I have enough on my plate.”

“Devi, your mother would understand if you were still sick.”

“You can’t tell her, okay? She wanted to take me to the doctor if I was still sick.” Devi urged.

“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t tell her. She told me about the fight you had and how incredibly disrespectful you were to her. Wait you are not pregnant, are you?” Kamala was ready to kill Paxton.

Devi had enough. “That’s not the case! You don’t get it do you? You are the perfect child while I am the one constantly messing things up. Mom always says, “Kamala did this” and “You should learn more from Kamala”. I am trying so hard to get into Princeton, my dream school, while having the social life I want. Mom also keeps demanding I break up with Paxton. I already lost my dad, I don’t want to lose anything else.” Devi tried to control herself. She realized she was lying to her cousin but at the same time Paxton was not the problem.

“Devi, as much as I hate to say it, you haven’t been yourself lately. Aunty noticed it, and so has Pati. Look, if it makes you feel better, Manish is my Paxton. The one all Indian families would disapprove of. Pati was ready to disown me after the stunt I pulled with Prashant. They were also telling me I should have been upfront, like you.” Kamala placed a hand under her chin and said, “Do you remember how you were telling me I am the closest thing you have to a sister?” Devi nodded then she continued talking. “Well, you are like a little sister to me, and we should be able to talk to each other. Therefore, you can tell me anything. I will understand.”

Devi almost wanted to tell her what happened but didn’t want to burden her anymore. Kamala had felt guilty about not being there when she moved out, and Devi didn’t want to add to the drama. “Look, I am sorry I think I am just busy trying to play catch up on my work.”

“Okay fine. I am going to see if Aunty needs help. If you want to talk more, I am here. And you should take it easy.” Kamala kissed her forehead then she left the room.

Meanwhile, Rhyah and Nalini were in the living room cleaning out some old boxes. Rhyah could tell Nalini was stressed from recent events with Devi.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rhyah asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know. Something is going on with her that she doesn’t want to talk to me about. I am at a loss for what to do. How did you hold up when your husband passed away? Because obviously whatever I am trying with Devi isn’t working. Just when I thought she was getting better, she starts stumbling back down again. This seems like a repeat of last year.” Nalini threw her hands in the air as she said that.

“It was upsetting for me, and I tried to remain strong for Des. However, the first few months were hard, which is why I sent him away. I thought a change of place would do him some good and it would give me some time to grieve. I could tell he was upset, but he seemed okay and always so easy. Des and his father were close but not like what you described about Devi and Mohan. Everyone deals with grief differently and with Devi, she lost the person she was closest to.” Rhyah said calmly.

“Thanks Rhyah. I mean I could have sent her away, but I didn’t want to pay for someone else to raise her. Therapy bought the best of both worlds.”

“Everyone’s different, you need to do what’s right for your family.”

“I will be right back; I am going to grab something from the kitchen.”

Just then Devi’s phone dinged, and Rhyah picked it up thinking it was Nalini’s. “Hey Nal, you dropped –“

She froze when she read the text received.

Des: If you tell anyone, you’re dead.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19

Rhyah spent a couple minutes trying to process whatever she just saw. Her son had been acting weird these past few weeks, but she thought nothing about it because his grades were good, and he was focused on getting into Stanford. Just then Nalini walked in.

“Rhyah is everything okay?” Nalini then saw Devi’s phone in Rhyah’s hands.

“I thought this was your phone and I was going to give it to you but then this message arrived from my son.” Rhyah gave the phone to Nalini as she read the text.

“That’s my daughter’s phone. Wait, is your son sending my daughter death threats?” Nalini was shocked.

“I don’t know, this is the first time I am seeing something that sounded like a death threat. You said your daughter had been upset recently and now I think it has to do with my son. He has been acting weird since he got back but his behavior didn’t sound troubling until I saw the text. I need to go talk to him.” Rhyah said, leaving the house.

Nalini thought about what Rhyah said before going upstairs to her daughter’s room. She knocked and entered her daughter’s room as she was studying on her bed.

“Devi, can we talk?” Nalini was desperate for answers.

“I’m kind of busy mom.”

“It’s important.” Devi looked up from her French book and stared at her mother as she continued talking.

“You left your phone downstairs.” As Devi went to reach it, Nalini held it back.

“Okay what’s going on?” Devi was suddenly worried her mom found the test.

“If you tell anyone, you’re dead. Do you want to tell me what this is about?” Nalini read the text out loud then showed her the message on the screen. Devi was surprised as she had to think of a way to lie to her mom.

“You went through my phone? That’s private.” Devi argued and crossed her arms.

“No, it’s not. I pay for it, and you are my daughter, so I am entitled to look through as I see fit. Rhyah picked up your phone and saw the message on the screen, so she told me.” Nalini said in an authoritative tone but didn’t want to start another fight.

“Rhyah knows? Oh god mom, Des and I were just messing around.” Devi threw her hands in the air.

“Messing around how? Because that sounded like a death threat.” Nalini raised her eyebrow.

“We were just exchanging jokes and gossip from each other’s schools. The text he sent was part of a joke.” Nalini sat next to her on the bed and continued talking.

“Kanna, is he bullying you? Talk to me, please.” Nalini was getting worried.

Devi felt the lump rise in her throat again. “No mom, I swear.” Devi said, half lying. He didn’t bully her, but he assaulted her. And Devi couldn’t risk her mom finding out.

“Are you sure? Because you have been upset, moody, and tired these past few weeks. Not to mention your behavior this past weekend was incredibly outrageous. Kamala also found you asleep while studying. I don’t want us to fight, I want you to talk to me.” Nalini put a hand on her shoulder as she said that.

“I’m stressed with school, mom. I have four tests tomorrow on top of makeup work I have to do since I missed yesterday. I just want to get into Princeton, and I haven’t been sleeping well at night because I am scared of disappointing you. Plus, the debate tournament is this weekend, and I am busy trying to prepare.” Devi tried talking in a mature way so her mom would understand.

“Kutty, you were sick yesterday and you are already trying to push yourself. With the way you are going, Princeton isn’t worth it. Nothing is more important than your health. This stress may have caused the vomiting yesterday. You won’t be able to compete this weekend if you get sick again. Wait you are not sick again, are you?” Nalini put a hand on her cheek.

“No mom, I am fine.”

“Wait here. I will be right back.” Devi was confused but continued reading as her mom came back with the thermometer.

“I’m not four years old I don’t need you to take my temperature.” Devi said.

“You are sixteen, but your behavior has shown otherwise recently. I am your mother, and I am looking out for your health. So, open up.”

Devi reluctantly opened her mouth as she let her mom take her temperature, again. Once the thermometer beeped, it read 98.6. Nalini frowned.

“Maybe I should call the doctor.”

“I took a nap after I got home from school. I will be well rested by tomorrow, I promise.” Devi tried reassuring her mom. She was not going to the doctor, otherwise her mom would find out about the pregnancy.

Nalini wasn’t convinced but she dropped it considering Devi had started talking to her calmly. “Okay, fine. Dinner will be ready soon. And I want to see you eat something.” Nalini kissed her hair after saying that.

Devi felt relieved that her mom backed off and thought the vomiting was due to stress. She should have told her mom the truth, but she needed to figure out the best way to do that. And she needed to do it quickly. Because it was only a matter of time before her mom found out about the pregnancy.

Rhyah was having a mix of emotions when she got to her place. As soon as she got home, she went upstairs and found her son reading something. She picked up his phone and started looking through it.

“Mom! What the hell! That’s my phone!” Des exclaimed, standing up.

“Language son, I pay for it, so I am entitled to look through it.” Rhyah kept looking until she found what she needed. “Do you want to explain to me what this is about?” Rhyah showed him all the text messages to Devi.

“Chill mom, it’s a joke.” Des tried to play it cool.

“Sending death threats is not a joke. What happened between you and Devi?”

“I’m an adult, it’s not your business.” Des crossed his arms.

“It is most certainly my business if you are bullying other people, especially if they are underage.”

“I’m not bullying her! You know how Devi is, always sneaking around and going against her mom. Yesterday, she snuck out with Paxton and asked me to cover for her. She didn’t want her mother to know. It’s not my fault she is a slut who chooses to have sex.”

“I will not tell you again to watch your language. You will not use that word, especially towards someone you know. What else happened?” Rhyah was angry because she was getting nowhere with her son. She clearly could tell he was lying.

“Nothing. We were just joking around.” Des said, getting all defensive.

“I don’t believe you. Those messages sound threatening, and she hasn’t replied to any of them.”

“She chose to ignore me. That’s why she didn’t reply.” Des said, scowling.

“Fine. I am calling Nalini and taking away your phone.” As Rhyah left the room with his phone, Des was pacing around trying to figure out what to do next. It was bad enough he couldn’t have Devi, and now she was about to snitch. No college would take him while she would get all the sympathy. He suddenly remembered the day Devi broke his heart.

Flashback

Des tried to hold it in himself after Devi pulled back. They had just taken a walk around Des’s neighborhood after dinner and talked about drama at their schools. Without thinking, Des tried to kiss Devi. But Devi didn’t kiss him back.

“Des, you are a nice guy, but I have a boyfriend.”

“Devi, I really like you. Don’t you like me? If we date, I’m pretty sure your mom would approve of us. You told me your mom wouldn’t approve of Paxton.”

“Not like that. You are smart and hot, but I am not into you like that. We can still be friends.” Devi pleaded.

Des felt hurt and suddenly walked away, ignoring Devi’s calls. Later he realized what he did was wrong. He texted Devi and apologized.

Des: I’m sorry I shouldn’t have ditched you like that. I’m here for you as a friend.

Devi: It’s cool. I can help you get a girlfriend.

Des: Nah, I’m good. But I’m a guy, I can give you relationship advice.

End of flashback

Watch your back Devi this isn’t over, he said to himself.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20

The rest of the week had gone by in a blur. When Devi wasn’t studying and doing college prep, she was sleeping or eating. Her friends and boyfriend tried to coax her into hanging out, but she told them she was busy or tired. That was part of the truth. The other reason she was avoiding people was because of morning sickness. She managed to hide it so far but didn’t know how long she could keep it up. Devi eventually gave in when Paxton asked if he could take her out for dinner after the debate tournament Saturday. He and Trent were going to be at the school helping Eleanor out with an audition so he could pick her up.

Rhyah called Nalini again and said her son was lying. But since Devi told Nalini what happened, both women dropped the subject for the time being.

Nalini was driving Devi to school and saw her staring out of the window, shaking a little. She wasn’t convinced Devi was okay because she looked exhausted but knew she couldn’t do much until Devi talked to her. After she saw the text from Des and the recent conversation, she wasn’t sure whether it was Paxton that was the problem anymore.

“Are you sure you are okay? You are shaking.”

“I’m just nervous mom. I don’t want to let my team down.”

“You have worked hard enough. If at any point you feel sick or tired, you can come home early and take rest. There are other team members who can compete in your spot.” Nalini said as they reached the school.

“Thanks mom. Is it okay if Paxton takes me out for dinner after? There is this Italian eatery he was telling me about.” Devi didn’t want to push her luck, but she wanted to show her mom she was capable enough of handling a boyfriend.

Nalini thought for a minute before answering. “Yes, but I expect you to text me when you leave, where exactly you are going and be home by 11. Also, Rhyah and I will be going to the movies but if anything happens you can call me.” Nalini was still hesitant to trust Paxton but her daughter worked hard and opened to her a little so a night out wouldn’t hurt.

Hartman Hill was going to be competing, and the last thing she wanted to do was see Des. She had a plan though. Make sure to keep enough distance between them.

The tournament had gone well for the most part. Devi and Ben had managed to work together in making strong arguments so their school could make it to the finals. Even Ben hadn’t suspected anything. She hadn’t seen Des yet, which was good.

Right before the finals, Devi felt her stomach churn and ran to the nearest washroom to throw up everything she had for lunch. She felt herself shaking and tried to breathe using Dr. Ryan’s techniques. Luckily, the attack subsided, and she was going to do her best to crush the finals.

When the finals came, Devi found out they were competing against Hartman Hill. She felt nervous as she saw Des. When the topic came to girls facing more peer pressure than boys, Devi chose the positive side glaring at him as she said that.

Devi knew Hartman Hill had a better chance of winning because they had more resources. However, today was different. She somehow made her arguments based on her own experiences growing up and being an Indian daughter. When Sherman Oaks was announced the winner, Devi felt that rush of adrenaline as she high-fived Ben and Fabiola.

After everyone was dismissed, she tried running to her locker to put some books away without anyone seeing her. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Right after she closed her locker, Des grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eye.

“Your mom called my mom and told her about the texts. What did you say to her?” Des asked, threatening her.

“Nothing I swear. All I told her is that we were joking around.” Devi said, trying to escape. “Let go of me!”

Des ignored her and pinned her against the locker, his hands trailing everywhere outside her clothes. “You liar.”

“Des, let go of me please. I haven’t told anyone, and I will never, I swear. I need to get home.” Devi pleaded because she was panicking.

“Nice try. We had fun, don’t you think? In fact, I’m going to teach you a lesson so you will make sure that people stop suspecting.” Des said with that dark look in his eyes. He roughly put his mouth on hers. His hands unbuttoned her blouse forcefully and once they reached her breasts over her bra, she winced.

Suddenly the weight was removed from her as she saw Paxton pull Des off her and started punching him.

“How dare you touch her!” Paxton growled.

“She came on to me at the party you know. You guys got into a fight.” Des smirked. Paxton continued to punch him. “Walk away before I beat you up!” Paxton threatened.

Devi felt herself on the verge of another panic attack, as she leaned against her locker shaking as her vision was getting blurry, tears falling down her eyes.

“Devi, breathe.” Eleanor came and wrapped her arm around her shoulder as Devi went through the breathing techniques. Soon she was able to breathe again.

“I’m sorry.” Devi was ashamed to look at her best friend.

“It’s not your fault, sweetie. Look at me. I’m here for you.” Eleanor helped her button her blouse then put her arm around her.

“Devi” Paxton said rushing over to her, hugging her. “It’s okay, he’s gone.”

“Can you just take me home? I don’t think I can go out.” Devi said, nervous.

“Of course. Eleanor, you should probably leave, Devi and I can figure it out from here.” Paxton said.

“Sounds good. Call me if you need anything.” Eleanor said, walking away.

 “Ready?” Paxton asked. Devi nodded as they started walking.

During the car ride, Devi just stared out of the window mentally shaking. She also texted her mom saying Paxton had a thing so she would be coming straight home.

Once they got home, Devi was about to get out of the car when Paxton asked, “Do you want me to come inside? We can talk about what happened.”

“Yes, that would be great.” Pati was out with her friends and her mom was at the movies, so they had the house to themselves. Devi and Paxton went up to her room and sat on her bed. Devi changed into her pajamas because she didn’t want to wear the debate clothes after Des groped her. Both sat in silence for a few minutes until Paxton spoke up.

“How long has he been hurting you? I know this isn’t the first time he has done this because of the death threats.” Paxton cradled her face. “Babe, talk to me.”

“I’m worried I will get another panic attack if I start talking.” Devi said hesitantly.

“If it happens, I am here.” Paxton reassured her.

Devi took a deep breath before she started talking. “At the party, Des knew we got into a fight and offered to help me. But as he said that he touched my arm and it seemed weird. So, I went to get a drink. Later, I went to use the bathroom in one of Trent’s spare bedrooms. He came into the room right when I came out and started kissing me. I told him to stop because I have a boyfriend. But he didn’t take no for an answer and pushed me on the bed. He said I looked hot in my clothes and wanted to see me without them. His hands went underneath my shirt, snapping my bra off and fondling my breasts. Then I realized I couldn’t move my legs. I tried to push him off when he continued to touch me. Before I knew it, my skirt and underwear were off. He removed his pants and boxers and started pushing in, taking my virginity that I wanted to lose to you. Once he was done, he called me a slut and told me not to tell anyone. If you are going to break up with me, do it right now.” Devi couldn’t control the tears as she hugged her legs against her chest, shaking. She wasn’t sure if Paxton would look at her the same way.

“I am not breaking up with you. However, I’m going to kill him.” Paxton was getting angry but tried to calm himself down for Devi.

“No, Paxton if my mom finds out you did something I’m dead. She’s so worried about our reputation. We’re brown people. We don’t talk about these kinds of things.”

“Devi, what he did was a crime. Because of that you haven’t been yourself in weeks.” Paxton reassured her.

“Paxton, that’s not even the worst part.” It was now or never, Devi thought.

“Wait, what’s the worst part? Did you tell your mom, and she didn’t believe you?” Paxton was getting worried.

“I haven’t told her. The thing is, D-Des got me pregnant. That’s why I’ve been sick.”

Paxton hugged her tightly, she said that, and tears continued rolling down. Once she calmed down, she let go and continued talking.

“You were forced to have sex with him. This isn’t your fault.”

“I know but I feel like my life is over. Do you hate me? I didn’t want to cheat on you.” Devi leaned her head against Paxton.

“Of course not. You didn’t cheat on me. Whatever happens, I am by your side. Do you know what you want to do?”

“I don’t want to have it at all. I was always Crazy Devi, but now I am going to be the pregnant freak at school. The problem is, if I get an abortion, my mom will find out since I am 16. That will be the end of my life.” Devi shuddered.

“Devi, as much as I hate to say it, I think you should tell your mom. Look, she may not like you dating me, but she cares about you deeply. She herself has been worried to death. You are her only child.”

“She’s so paranoid about me dating, imagine if she found out what happened. She’s friends with Rhyah and Pati is friends with his grandmother. I would be destroying friendships. My dad would comfort me and tell me everything is going to be okay.” Paxton kissed her.

“Look, talk to your mom and see what she says. She’s going to find out you are pregnant at some point whatever you choose to do. In the meantime, you have your friends, and you have me. If anyone gives you a hard time, I will make them back off.” Paxton said, pulling Devi close to him. Devi suddenly felt safe around her boyfriend.

Both got so deep in conversation that they didn’t notice Pati standing outside of her bedroom door hearing the whole thing.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21

Nirmala had never felt so angry before. She felt that grief hit when she lost her son. When Kamala ran out on her engagement dinner and when Manish accidentally got someone hurt during Navaratri, she felt embarrassed.

But this was a different type of anger. A boy physically hurt her granddaughter and got her pregnant. Now Devi had to deal with such consequences for the rest of her life. Especially from someone she knew. From what Nirmala heard, Devi was more worried about her family’s reaction so she couldn’t tell anyone. Devi reminded her so much of Mohan that it was breaking her heart.

She wanted to hug Devi but at the same time she didn’t want to push her to talk. But first she had to protect her granddaughter, which included telling Nalini without Devi knowing. If Nalini was going to react badly, then Nirmala needed to be prepared. Before Devi noticed she was outside, she backed away from the door and headed back downstairs into the living room, right as Nalini walked in.

“Nalu we need to talk.” Nirmala said firmly.

“Maami, can this wait, Paxton is over, and I need to check on them.” Nalini was worried about Devi being alone with Paxton, especially since her daughter lied to her again. She wanted to make sure they weren’t doing god knows what.

“Nothing is happening between them, I checked. Besides I found out something about Devi.” Nalini sat down on the couch and was desperate for answers. Nirmala joined her, took a hand in hers, and started talking.

“Nalu, I heard Devi and Paxton talking. Des forced Devi to have sex with him. Not only that, but he got her pregnant.” Nirmala watched as her daughter-in-law’s face turn pale as she tried to process this.

“Des forced her into having sex? And got her pregnant? Oh goodness.” Nalini stood up and clearly felt like shouting but decided against it. She didn’t want her daughter to hear this conversation. The anger, lack of sleep, her throwing up. It all made sense now. She had been upset since the party because she was raped. And now she was pregnant. Her behavior recently was because of pregnancy hormones. Nalini had similar symptoms when she was pregnant with Devi. Except she didn’t feel as depressed.

“Believe me, I am angry at this situation too, but we need to be there for her.”

“I don’t understand how I couldn’t figure it out before, she has been moody, tired, and withdrawn. And I thought the wrong guy was taking advantage of her. Instead, a smart Indian guy raped her and now she is still dealing with such consequences for the rest of her life. I am going to strangle him.” Nalini was angry as she said that.

“You will do no such thing. Believe me, I also want to stab him with the kitchen knife. What we need to do is talk to Devi and get her to tell us everything that happened. And we need to help her take better care of herself. She is carrying a human being, if she isn’t careful there will be serious consequences for the baby. Then, we are going to report him.”

“How do we get her to talk to us? Every time she talks to me, I can tell there is something she is hiding. If I push her, she gets defensive.”

“We talk to her together and tell her nothing she says will make us hate her. From what I heard; she told her boyfriend that she was worried about being disowned and the community looking at her with disgust. She also mentioned that if her father was here, she would have told him in an instant. We are her family, the only constant people in her life. She needs to know she is safe around us. She has already been upset and it looks like she hasn’t slept.”

Nalini thought about what Nirmala said for a few minutes then took a deep breath. “Let’s talk to her right now.”

“We also need to be careful about losing our temper. If we shout or anything like that, she will not talk to us. Instead, she will keep shutting us out.” Nalini nodded her head as she said that.

Nalini and Nirmala walked up to Devi’s room and opened the door, revealing Devi and Paxton lying down on the bed.

“Mom we were just – “Devi said, stammering.

“Relax, Devi we need to talk to you.” Nalini said.

“About what exactly?” Devi was getting nervous.

Nalini looked at her mother-in-law before she started talking. “We want to check in because clearly there are some things you haven’t told us. I need to know what Des did to you. Paxton, how about you wait downstairs while we talk.” Nalini said, gently.

“Of course. Devi, just tell her the truth.” Paxton said as he left the room.

“Nothing happened between us.” Devi said hesitantly.

Nalini sat down on her bed and comforted her like Mohan would have done, putting an arm around her shoulder. She could tell her daughter was scared. “Devi please, tell me what happened between you and Des. I know Pati heard everything, but I want you to tell me.”

“Pati, you were eavesdropping?!!” Devi suddenly felt angry and betrayed.

“Devi, we are all worried about you. I get this is uncomfortable to talk about, but it isn’t healthy to be holding it in.” Nalini started stroking her hair.

Devi takes a deep breath before answering. “The day of the party, Paxton and I got into a fight. So, when I got to the party Des noticed that I was upset. He touched my arm and it seemed weird. So, I went to get a drink and hang out with my friends. Later I was in a spare bedroom after using the bathroom when I heard the door lock, coming face to face with Des. He started kissing me and I told him to back off because I have a boyfriend. But he pushed me onto the bed and told me I looked hot in those clothes and that he wanted to check out what I looked like without them. I tried pushing him off with my hands, but I wasn’t strong enough. His hands went underneath my top, snapping my bra and he touched my breasts. Then I realized I couldn’t move my legs. He took off my skirt and underwear along with removing his pants and boxers. He pushed in, taking away my virginity. After he was done, he called me a slut and told me not to tell anyone. My legs regained consciousness after a few minutes, and I felt sore down there. I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs, I swear.” Devi couldn’t control the tears anymore and put her head in her hands because she didn’t want to look her mother and Pati in the eye. This was the moment of truth.

Nalini wrapped her arms around Devi trying to comfort her. “I’m so sorry he did that to you, Devi. I wish you could have told me instead of hiding it from us.” Nalini felt the anger rising again, but not directed at Devi.

Devi was caught off guard. “You’re not ashamed of me? You didn’t want me having sex at all.” she asked tearfully.

“Of course not! I am angry at Des because he forced you to do this, and I am upset that you couldn’t tell us. Other than the threatening texts, did he do anything else?” Nalini wanted to know but asked carefully.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I can’t promise that, but all my anger is at Des, not you. I want to know how long he has been harassing and touching you.”

“When he came over for dinner, I sat next to him. He put his hand on my inner thigh and I froze so I ran out. A few days ago, you asked him to check on me since I was sick. I had just taken a shower and I was in my room with a towel on when he came barging in. When I told him to get out, he laughed saying it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, and pushed me on the bed to get another look. He pulled my towel off and touched my breasts. He also fingered me. Luckily, someone was coming upstairs so he stopped and left quickly. At the debate tournament today, I was putting my things in my locker when he found out you called Rhyah aunty and told him about the texts. He roughly put his mouth over my mouth, unbuttoned my blouse, and used his other hand to touch my body. I winced once his hand reached my bra. Then Paxton came and pulled him off me. I had a panic attack after, and Eleanor came and soothed me. I didn’t feel like going out, so I asked Paxton to take me home and I told him everything. I’m sorry I lied to you mom.” Devi said tearfully.

“Devi, come here.” Nalini hugged her daughter tightly and rubbed her back. “The lying about Paxton is the least of my concern. All this time, I was letting someone like him step foot in my house. We are going to get through this together.”

“How? You are going to hate me when I tell you this.”

“We know what happened and we don’t hate you. What are you not telling us?”

“I’m pregnant. My life is over.” Devi suddenly felt sick and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Once she was done, Nalini and Pati helped her up and took her back to her room. Pati looked at her and started talking.

“Your life is not over. We will figure something out. But I must ask you something. When was the last time you ate?”

“This afternoon for lunch. I threw up right before the finals.” Devi was suddenly confused why Pati was asking her that.

“I have some leftovers that you can eat. You need to eat something. You have a baby growing inside you.” Pati urged her.

“I can’t eat without feeling sick.” Devi said.

“I have rasam and rice, that should help calm your stomach. Just try to eat something.” Pati went back downstairs to heat the leftovers as Nalini wanted to continue talking to her daughter. As soon as she shut the door, Nalini continued talking.

“Did he leave any bruises?” Devi nodded as she rolled up her sleeve to show the bruise. Nalini touched it slowly for a second. Then she had another thought.

“Remove your shirt.”

“I’m not wearing a bra underneath.” Devi said hesitantly.

“I’m sorry I am not trying to make you uncomfortable. But I am your mother, you can trust me. I need to check for injuries.” Devi reluctantly removed her shirt, exposing herself. Nalini tried to keep it together when she saw the finger-shaped bruises on her belly.

“Okay, now remove your pants.” Nalini said as Devi put her shirt back on.

Devi was reluctant to do so because she didn’t want her mom to see the cuts she made. However, she didn’t want to argue so she slowly removed them.

Her mother gasped as she saw the cuts, new and old. “Devi, please tell me you didn’t.” The last thing she wanted was her daughter hurting herself.

“I’m sorry mom I just needed something I had control over. I feel like so much has been taken away. My dad, the use of my legs, and now my virginity. Maybe I deserve to be hurt.” Devi said as she pulled up her pants.

“You don’t deserve to be hurt, but what you are doing is dangerous. Have you talked to Dr. Ryan about this?” Nalini put an arm around her.

“Not yet, I was worried she would report me as suicidal, and I didn’t want you finding out.”

“Kanna, I want you to come to me if something is wrong. Not to mention you are pregnant and this is dangerous for the baby. If your therapist reports you, it means she is looking out for you. What did you use?”

“Um, a broken razor blade.”

“Go get me the blade.” Devi reluctantly got the razor blade from the bathroom and gave it to her mom.

“I’m not trying to kill myself; I swear.”

“I know but by the way you have been acting, it’s hard for me to believe you. I just want to keep a better eye on you because you have kept so many things from me. So, I want you to keep talking to me. I know it wasn’t easy to do that in the past, but I will try to understand. You also need to tell Dr. Ryan about what happened, including the recent panic attacks. But let’s take this one step at a time. Why don’t we go downstairs and eat? I can get you some ice for your wrist.”

Devi nodded her head. “Sounds good mom.” Nalini kissed her head then they left her room.

Once they got downstairs, saw Pati and Paxton catching up. Pati even invited Paxton to stay for a late dinner.

Devi felt so much better after telling her family and Paxton. In fact, she had no problem eating. The four of them spent some time exchanging gossip and getting to know Paxton a little. Her mom and Pati weren’t rude to Paxton, so that was a start to experiencing teen romance without shame for once. Everything was getting better so far.

That is, until they heard a knock at the door, Rhyah and Des walking in.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22

Des was angry as he got home that night from the debate tournament. Devi’s boyfriend took it out on him when he was trying to have fun with Devi. He and his friends had gone out to eat after so that distracted him. Unfortunately, his mother saw him as soon as he came home. “Des honey, what happened to your face?” She was all concerned.

“Umm, I got into a fight.” Yeah, that was the best argument to tell his mother.

“You got into a fight? Debate tournaments are supposed to involve verbal arguments, not physical ones. What happened?”

“Devi’s psycho boyfriend. He thinks something is happening between us, so he punched me and we started fighting.”

“What is going on with you? You are getting into fights and sending death threats. Is something happening between you and Devi?” Rhyah was desperate for answers as her son’s recent behavior sounded troubling.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Young man, whatever is going on with you is my business especially if it is with my friend’s daughter.” Rhyah said sternly.

“She came onto me. Happy? Her boyfriend would rather support her than admit she was cheating on him.” Des threw his hands in the air.

“Fighting is never acceptable. You know what. Get changed and we are going over to Devi’s house. I want her boyfriend’s information so I can talk to his parents.” As soon as Des changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants, he and his mom left for Devi’s house. His goal was to make sure Devi didn’t snitch on her mom. During the car ride, Des was mentally trying to prepare what to say.

Once they got there, his mother knocked on the door and both walked in. He glared at Devi warning her not to tell anyone. Unfortunately, Des felt that surge of anger hit him once he saw Paxton.

Devi froze as she saw Des. She tried to take deep breaths as he saw him. However, Pati saw her hesitance and took her hand as they went upstairs.

“Nal, we have a bit of a situation. I need to talk to you.” Rhyah said.

“This isn’t a good time, Rhyah.” Nalini was trying to control her anger.

Paxton saw Des and couldn’t control himself. “You have some nerve coming back and being near Devi.”

Rhyah spoke up. “Wait, are you Paxton? You are the one who punched my son in the face! I want your address so I can talk to your parents.”

“Devi told me everything. I didn’t punch you. All I did was defend Devi when you were touching her. She specifically asked you to stop and you didn’t.” Paxton looked Des in the eye as he said that.

“How dare you touch my daughter! Give me a reason why I shouldn’t strangle you right now!” Nalini was yelling at Des, she had never been this angry.

Rhyah asked, “Wait what? Nirdesh, did something between you and Devi? Because I want nothing but the truth.” Rhyah was getting angry.

“Fine. We had sex. She wanted it. Her boyfriend found out and punched me. He can’t admit that his girlfriend cheated on him after they got into a fight.” Des said.

“You liar!” Paxton went to grab his shirt, but Nalini stopped him.

Nalini told Paxton, “It’s getting late, you should head out. I got your number from Devi’s phone. I will text you later. Please text me that you got home safely.” Nalini did not want to witness a fist fight between Des and Paxton. Her daughter had already been hurt, she didn't want someone else getting hurt under her roof.

Paxton wanted to punch Des, but he reluctantly left. Dr. Vishwakumar tolerated him throughout the night, and he didn’t want to push his luck.

Rhyah faced Des and then continued talking. “You know what, I don’t believe you. You told me earlier she came onto you and now you are telling me you had sex. Your behavior has been troubling this week. Lying to me, getting into fights, not to mention sending threatening texts to her for these past few weeks.” Rhyah said. “Nalini, what did Devi tell you?”

“That you forced her into having sex at the party. When I asked you to check on her last week, it didn’t mean walking in on her in a towel and touching her. She also mentioned that you groped her in the school hallways and her boyfriend had to pull her off you.” Nalini faced Des and told him angrily.

“Des, we are going home and talking about this more. Wait in the car.” Rhyah was angry at her son and wanted to deal with him immediately but at the same time, she didn’t want to make Nalini uncomfortable by having him in her house.

“But Mom! Devi’s lying. Let me talk to her.”

“Absolutely not! Give me your phone and wait in the car. Now!” Rhyah was getting angry and was not going to let Des send another death threat while waiting. Des huffed but reluctantly obeyed.

“Nal, I am so sorry. I did not know about this.”

“Your son is not to step foot in my house again and I don’t want him in contact with my daughter.” Nalini said, threateningly.

“I swear, I don’t know what got into him. I should have noticed something had happened.”

“Rhyah, my daughter is pregnant with his kid. Not only she is the victim of sexual assault but now she is carrying a child.” Nalini said putting her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, Nalini. Is there anything I can help with?”

“Right now, just go home and deal with your son. It’s been a long day and I think we all need some sleep before we do something we regret.” Rhyah left worrying about her best friend.

On the way home, Rhyah tried to control her anger as she stared at her son. She didn’t want to start lecturing while driving. Once they got inside, she dragged him to the living room and started yelling at him.

“Nirdesh Pillai (A/N: not sure what the last name is on the show), you have no idea how angry I am with you. I trusted you to act appropriately around girls.”

“God mom, she wanted it. She doesn’t want to admit that she cheated on her boyfriend when they were in a fight.”

“Did you use protection?”

Des hesitantly answered. “She’s on the pill.”

“Enough with your lies, young man. Because of what you did, you got her pregnant! Do you know what this means? If the police find out everything, the consequences will be no college, no future period! You are also putting me in a bad position because Ammuma and I are friends with her relatives. Our family will have no respect after what you have done.”

“That’s not fair! She gets the boy she wants and sympathy despite having a dead father. Things have been really hard for me since dad and -” Des angrily said.

“DO NOT use the excuse of your father! He would be extremely upset about what you have done.”

Des stood up and started shouting. “I didn’t even rape her! We had sex and she didn’t stop me. She is a slut for cheating on her boyfriend.” Rhyah got angry and then slapped her son hard across the face.

“I have warned you about using that word. I am also sick of your excuses and lies. Nalini told me that she has been depressed and angry these past few weeks. Her boyfriend even saw you inappropriately touching her. It’s bad enough Nalini doesn’t like Devi dating yet you took advantage of her by forcing her to have sex. Sex is serious, especially for teenage girls. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility like a man?”

“We were just having fun. She can’t admit that she cheated on her boyfriend when they got into a fight. She is acting upset because she just wants attention.” Des rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Enough with your attitude. I am taking away your phone, your laptop, and your car keys indefinitely. You are not going to their house, and you are not to be in any contact with Devi. Other than school, you are on lockdown. I have been working hard your whole life for your future so right now you do what I say!” Des stormed up to his room, all angry. Devi Vishwakumar was about to ruin his future. He started punching his bed and throwing stuff. Next thing he heard arguing.

“He destroyed our reputation. You should kick him out.”

“Are you insane? So, he can go stalk Devi again? Nalini already threatened me that she doesn’t want Des showing up at her house.” Rhyah was angry now.

“Do not speak to your mother-in-law like that, Rhyah. He is eighteen and is not obligated to live under your roof.”

“I am not kicking him out so he can do whatever he wants in public.”

“Rhyah, if this goes around town, our family will have no respect! What if the police find out?”

“Ammayiyamma, Devi is pregnant. Not only do we need to deal with Des but now we have another family member we are stuck having responsibility for.” Rhyah put a hand to her head.

“Ayo.” Ammuma groaned. Then she kept speaking. “Don’t tell anyone about this. There will just be big problems.”

“I’m going to bed. I’m too overwhelmed right now.” Rhyah went to her room and collapsed on her bed.

Des needed an escape plan.

Back at the Vishwakumar house, Nalini was tired. Once everyone left, she went upstairs to check on Devi only to be stopped by her mother-in-law. “She’s asleep Nalu. The windows are also locked so no one can sneak in.”

“Maami, I just want to check on her. I found out she was hurting herself earlier. She could be doing something sketchy behind closed doors. Did she have another panic attack?”

Nirmala reassured her. “No, she didn’t. I talked to her before she went to sleep. She was trying to catch up on schoolwork, but I told her she should rest. You should too. We all have a long road ahead and we cannot get through this unless we get some sleep.”

“Okay, I will head to bed.” Nalini went to her room, collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes, trying to get a good night’s sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23

Nalini tossed and turned on her bed as she cried herself to sleep. How could she not know what was going on this whole time? Was she too lenient in trusting a good Indian boy like Des? She felt overprotective of Devi because she was so worried. Especially when she got paralyzed. Add to the fact her daughter was too scared to tell her she had been hurt.

She and Devi were a lot alike not just in temperament but when making impulse choices. Nalini realized she had been impulsive when she was harsh to Paxton the first time they met. When she got her first impression of Paxton, she thought he was going to ruin Devi’s life. Des, on the other hand, had seemed more respectable in her eyes because he was smart and came from a good Indian family. But recent events proved otherwise. Paxton seemed to respect her daughter’s boundaries more than Des after tonight.

“Why don’t you let this idiot knock you up?” The harsh words Nalini said to Paxton kept replaying in her head. Devi was knocked up, but by the wrong person.

Nalini suddenly remembers the time she had been molested. Her parents had been away, as usual, and there was a babysitter who was constantly showering her with treats. She thought he was a nice guy, at eight years old. Until he wasn’t. She was wearing a dress when it happened. He sat her on his lap and his hands went underneath her dress and started touching her. She then felt confused. When her parents finally found out, they did nothing about it, because he was a good man, and they were too worried about the Indian community. Ten years later, he had gotten arrested for brutally attacking other girls.

Because of her parents, she hadn’t told anyone else except Mohan. She hadn’t even wanted to tell Mohan this. When Devi was a baby, she had a nightmare of being molested. After that incident, she refused to let Mohan bathe or change their daughter’s diapers for some time. Eventually, Mohan caught on and after Nalini reluctantly told him the truth, he held her in his arms. He promised that he still loved her and Devi no matter what.

“Nalu my love, what’s going on?” Nalini got startled and saw Mohan.

“It’s Devi. She was hurt and I didn’t know. From someone I thought who was well respected.”

“She’s a teenage girl. She is not going to want to come to us about everything. And given your behavior towards her, this is no exception.” Mohan said.

“She was worried about our community, so she has been cutting herself for control. Your mother and I had to gently approach her together. If you were here, she would have told you immediately. You could have fixed everything.” Nalini was sobbing now.

“Nalini, I get this is hard, but she needs her mom. This isn’t the time to give up on your daughter. Yes, she can be stubborn, but she is a fighter just like you. That’s what scares me about both of you.” Mohan kissed her forehead as he said that.

“How do I help her? She was forced to have sex and now she is pregnant. I don’t want to tell her this, but now her life is ruined.”

“Her life is not ruined. Sure, her life was disrupted, but she needs a support system. She needs to know she is safe around her family. You help her decide how to move on. As much as I want to kill this boy, we need to support her with whatever choice she makes.” Mohan reassured his wife.

“Only today I remember what happened to me as a child. I didn’t want to be like my parents who just let it slide. I wanted to be there for Devi right when it happened.”

Mohan caressed her cheek. “It’s not too late. Offer her the comfort that she needs. She is still our perfect girl no matter what.”

Nalini woke up all confused. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, she suddenly heard a scream coming from her daughter’s room.

Nalini felt herself walking quickly, opening the room door to see Devi trying to fight herself tangled up in the sheets.

Without thinking, she gently shook her daughter awake, and helped her untangle the sheets. Devi was disoriented as she woke up. Her breathing was raspy, as she was on the verge of another panic attack.

“Mommy?” Devi asked weakly, her chest tightening. She never felt this vulnerable in front of her mother.

“Devi, breathe, I’m here.” Devi started breathing slowly as Nalini rubbed her back. After a few breaths, the attack subsided. Devi felt tears falling again and collapsed into her mother. Nalini held her for a few minutes before speaking, as her daughter had gotten worked up.

“What happened?”

“Please don’t make me talk about it.”

“I’m your mom, Devi. You can talk to me.”

“I was in my room, fully naked. My body was paralyzed so I couldn’t move no matter how much I tried. Des came on top of me and started having sex with me. There was a whole bunch of aunties on the side, looking at me with disgust.” Devi couldn’t control the tears anymore as she leaned against her mom. Luckily, the light was off so she couldn’t see her mother directly. Nalini flinched as she heard those words, her daughter was attacked, and she felt like she was being blamed for it.

“Kutty, you are not disgusting. Do you want to sleep in my room tonight? It seems like you are scared of being in here.” Nalini put a hand on her cheek as she said that.

“No.” Devi said weakly. She didn’t want her mom to think she was a little kid. “Actually, I need to shower again.” Nalini was about to protest at that request, but then let her go. Obviously, this was difficult for her daughter so she would let her do what it takes to be comfortable. Nalini put her head in her hands while she was gone. She felt something underneath the pillowcase and pulled out the pregnancy tests Devi took. Nalini almost felt like crying again once she saw them. This was clear proof Des had ruined her daughter’s life.

Devi spent around 30 minutes trying to scrub herself the feeling of what Des had left, especially down there. However, she knew the feeling of his gross hands would be permanent.

Once Devi came out, she flopped down on the bed next to her mom, turning herself around and trying to sleep.

To her surprise, her mother stays with her, singing to her in Tamil and stroking her hair. Devi ends up falling back asleep later. Nalini sleeps with her for a few hours, wrapping her arms around her protectively before seeing the sunrise and heading downstairs to find her mother-in-law.

“Morning, maami.” Nalini groaned.

“How did you sleep, Nalu?”

“I slept then I witnessed my daughter having a nightmare and another panic attack after. She insisted on taking another shower. I ended up staying with her for the rest of the night. I don’t know if it’s possible for someone to recover from this. She is scared to death.”

“Does she need a different therapist? Like one that deals specifically with sexual assault.”

“I picked Dr. Ryan because she specifically deals with trauma, like what we went through. She’s also one of the best in the San Fernando Valley. The thing is, she didn’t tell her because she was worried about us finding out. Unless Devi has an absolute problem with her, I really don’t want to switch.”

“Add to the fact she is pregnant. One thing after another.” Nirmala pointed out.

“We should talk about what to do. She’s sixteen and she has been working hard to get into Princeton. She is still a child. There is no way she can go to school and have a baby.”

“She has us. We can all pitch in to help. Or talk to her about adoption.”

“Maami, this pregnancy is putting a toll on her. The fatigue, headaches, self-harm, and she is too stressed out. After her nightmare, she had another panic attack. Not to mention she hasn’t eaten much. Giving birth is dangerous, especially at 16. I am not convinced she can go through this pregnancy.” Nalini shook her head.

“She can if help her along the way. Rhyah can work with us too. This is her grandchild after all.”

“Why don’t we consider abortion?” Nalini was hesitant to involve Rhyah because she didn’t want anything to do with Des.

“Killing a baby? Come on, Nalini. You think Devi wants that.”

“You really think Devi wants to be pregnant at 16? I am worried about her getting bullied at school. On top of that, she will have to go for regular checkups. Given she was assaulted, she’s not going to handle a doctor’s visit well.”

“Do you want me to come with you and Devi to the doctors? Just for support?”

“I will ask Devi if that is what she wants. But that’s not the point. Devi is already self-conscious about herself. Don’t you think she will feel embarrassed walking around pregnant? And say she carries the child to term? She is already stressed and upset from everything that happened recently. What if she takes it out on her child?”

“Nalu, this is Devi’s baby. How do you think she will feel about killing it?”

“Mom? Pati?” Both women heard Devi as she came into the kitchen. Her eyes had dark circles from the lack of sleep, and it was clear she lost weight over the past few weeks.

“How would you like some pongal, kanna? I was just about to start making some.” Pati asked.

Devi smiled. “I’d like that.”

Nalini kissed Devi’s forehead then both went to sit on the couch. “Did you sleep okay?”

Devi nodded, “After you stayed, yes. I just don’t know if I can sleep again. Ever since it happened, I have had nightmares every couple of hours. I feel so tired, but I can’t sleep. That’s why my head’s been hurting.” Devi shrugged.

“For the time being, how about you leave your door open at night? That way one of us can check on you in case you are scared. Or you can sleep in my room.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that Des is still out there doing whatever he wants while I am stuck carrying his child.”

“Look, I told Rhyah her son is not to come over anymore and he cannot be anywhere near you. I will call the police if he does something again. I was yelling at him for some time then Rhyah told him to wait in the car.”

“What is going to stop him? I fear leaving the house because I may run into him in public. He hasn’t texted me, but I worry that might change. At least I don’t have to worry about school because he doesn’t go to Sherman Oaks.”

“Rhyah is dealing with him. You can also block Des’ number off your phone. Had Des been going to your school, I would have gone to the principal and done something. Kanna, do you remember if he used protection?”

Devi shook her head. “I was so busy trying to get him off me. I don’t remember him using anything.” She felt ashamed saying that.

Nalini took Devi’s hand in hers. “We are going to report this to the police. Also, I want to have you checked out by a doctor. This might sound off-topic, but I need you to be honest with me. Did you and Paxton ever have sex?”

“What! No. My first and only time was with Des.” Devi winced.

“Okay. I am only asking to rule out the possibility of it being Paxton’s. The police will need to know this. If there are any secrets, I would rather know now than find out later.”

“About my pregnancy, I don’t want to have it at all. I’m going to be the pregnant freak in school, and I am not ready to be a mom.”

“You want an abortion?” Devi nodded her head and continued talking.

Pati chimed in. “Are you sure, Devi? No one is trying to pressure you into anything. If you want to keep the child, you have me, your mother, Kamala, Rhyah, - “

“Wait, Rhyah knows I’m pregnant?! What if she tells anyone else? Did you tell her about my cuts?” Devi was freaking out now.

“I had to tell her Devi, because of what Des did to you. If it makes you feel better, she was angry at her son. She asked if she could help last night but I told her to go home and deal with Des. No, she doesn’t know about the self-harming.” Nalini told Devi.

“I don’t want to be pregnant anymore. Can’t you understand?” Devi pleaded.

“Look, it’s your choice. But I am still having you checked out before we get the procedure done.” Nalini wasn’t sure whether Devi would change her mind later about keeping the baby, so she wanted to get her checked out before the abortion.

“Is that necessary? The doctor is not going to find any evidence.” Devi cringed.

“Devi, you have been a mess these past few weeks. You haven’t been sleeping well, you lost weight, and the panic attacks haven’t stopped. On top of that, there could be STDs or other injuries. Especially since he didn’t use a condom. Your health is not something I am playing around with.” Nalini lectured her.

“Fine. Whatever.” Devi rolled her eyes but also realized her mother was a doctor who went through medical school so there was nothing she hadn’t heard before.

“How often are you getting panic attacks? As your mother, I need to know because this seems to be a regular pattern.”

“Any time Des does something or I get a nightmare. I haven’t been keeping track, but probably every other day. Dr. Ryan taught me ways to ease the symptoms, but the thing is I can’t prevent them. Anytime his name comes up is a high risk. I’m never going to be normal again.” Devi wasn’t sure that was the best thing to tell her mother because she didn’t want to worry her.

“You are a normal person to me. However, these panic attacks are really affecting your health. Another reason why you need to see a doctor.” Nalini reassured her, touching her forehead.

“Pongal is ready!” Pati exclaimed, distracting both. The three women ate together and changed the subject by talking about other things. While Devi felt better having her mom’s support, she was nervous for the next steps.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24

Devi was getting nervous as she and Nalini were facing the detective and the police officer that came over. Pati had gone to the store, so they had some privacy.

“So Devi, tell me exactly what happened.” The detective said.

Devi took a deep breath as she repeated the events from the night of the party. How Des followed her into the bedroom and tried to kiss her, pushing her onto the bed, making out with her, snapping her bra off, fondling her breasts, not being able to move her legs, Des removing both of their undergarments, and finally Des pushing himself into her, losing her virginity.

She also repeated the numerous times he came on to her. From placing his hand near her crotch, touching her when she was in a towel, and then the incident after the debate tournament.

“He has also been sending threatening texts warning me not to tell anyone.” Devi felt tears falling again. Nalini came and placed her arm around her.

“Did he penetrate you?”

“Yes.”

“I know this is hard, but I need you to be specific. What specifically did he use and where did he penetrate you?”

“It was vaginal penetration, and he used his penis at the party. The time I was in a towel he inserted his finger.” Nalini cringed as she heard those words.

“You’re sixteen, right?” Devi nodded her head.

“Were you drinking that night or taking any drugs?”

“No.”

“Did you get a rape kit done or anything?”

“No, I was too grossed out by what happened, so I didn’t know what to do. All I know is I am pregnant with his kid through a pregnancy test I took.”

“I understand that, but unless we have any evidence it’s your word against Nirdesh’s. Usually, there is a 72-hour window in which his body fluids would be detected.”

“I have the clothes I saved from the night of the party. Would that help? They are in a trash bag in my room.”

“Yes, we can test them at the station.” Devi went to her room to get the clothes.

Nalini then spoke up. “Detective, she’s 16, Nirdesh is 18, wouldn’t any sexual contact between them be statutory rape?”

“It would, but we again need to prove sexual contact occurred between them. Since she is pregnant, we can issue a court-ordered paternity test. If he is convicted just for statutory rape, it would be a maximum of 6 months in prison and a fine. We need more evidence to prove that she didn’t consent for the case to be stronger. Since her boyfriend witnessed him touching her, we will need to question him.”

Nalini put her head in her hands as she heard that. “She wants an abortion. What does that mean for us?”

“You can get the paternity test done and once we have proof, she can get an abortion. California state law allows abortion up to viability, which is around 24 weeks.”

“I’m taking her to the doctor tomorrow. I can request a blood test and send the results to you.”

“That would help. If there is any evidence of injuries that will also be key. We’ll talk to Nirdesh later and get his statement.” Just then Devi came back downstairs with the bag of clothes and handed it to the detective.

“Devi, the detective and I were talking while you were upstairs. Since you are 16 and he is 18, we can prove statutory rape by doing a paternity test. That way, there is proof sexual contact occurred between both of you. After that, you can get an abortion.” Nalini said.

“You don’t believe me. I remember what happened.” Devi was getting angry.

“We believe you, but we need proof. You did the right thing by coming to us. Getting the paternity test is a start. Hopefully, the clothes you wore will also give us something. We can charge him with harassment with the text messages he sent. I would also like to ask everyone at the party to see if they saw something, especially your boyfriend since you said he saw you. But we can get to that later.” The detective reassured her.

“Okay fine. I’m sorry I don’t know what got into me.” Devi said.

Both thanked the detective for his time then he left. Devi was about to go back upstairs but Nalini stopped her. “Wait, you didn’t tell me you had saved the clothes you wore.”

Devi sighed before talking. “I didn’t want to wear them again after that night. Once I got home, I took a thorough shower. The problem is, if I threw them away, you and Pati would get suspicious. Why is that such a big deal now?”

“It isn’t. I just wanted to know. Also, I got you an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.”

“During the school day mom? I have enough on my plate.” Devi rolled her eyes as she said that.

“I am excusing you from school tomorrow. Don’t stress about your studies right now. It’s okay if your grades aren’t the best, the biggest priority is taking care of yourself and keeping you safe. We can have a mother-daughter day too. Also, you took so long to come down. Did something happen?”

“I threw up again then I brushed my teeth. It happens at unpredictable times.”

“Unfortunately, that happens when you are pregnant. Take some crackers, those should be easy to digest. Get plenty of fluids too.” Nalini kissed her cheek.

“It’s not that. I wanted to hide the fact I was pregnant but if I throw up during school everyone is going to suspect something. I had to run out during one of my classes last week just to vomit. What if people find out?”

“Devi, it’s not their business. If you are worried about your teachers giving you a hard time, we can talk to the principal. Just take care of yourself.”

“Okay. Can I invite my friends over? I haven’t seen them, and I want to update them on what is going on.”

Nalini wanted to keep an eye on her daughter, but then realized she wasn’t going to be alone if her friends were there. Plus, she wanted to talk to Paxton alone without Devi knowing. “Sure. Take some rest though.”

Devi went up to her room and texted her friends.

Devi: Hey guys, sorry I have been so inattentive. There is so much I have been hiding from you. Want to come over so we can talk about it?

She hit send in the group chat. All her friends said yes and agreed to come over.

About an hour later all four girls were sitting in Devi’s bedroom.

“Thanks for coming, I need to tell all of you something and this is really hard to say.” Devi gulped. It was now or never, Devi. Spill the truth. They are your best friends.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25

“So, um the night of Trent’s rager, I ran into Des at the party. He knew I got in a fight with Paxton and offered to help me. But when he said that he touched my arm in a creepy way. I went to get a drink then Fab; I saw you with Ben. After I saw what you guys were doing, I went to the bathroom in one of Trent’s spare bedrooms. After I came out of the bathroom, I heard the door lock and Des came into the room. He apparently was looking for me that whole night. He started kissing me and pushed me on the bed even though I told him I was with Paxton. I told him to get off me and even tried pushing him off me, but he was too strong. Next thing he told me I looked hot in my clothes and wanted to see me without them. I said no way, but he didn’t listen. His hands went underneath my top, snapping my bra off and he started touching me. Once he tugged my skirt and underwear off, I couldn’t move my legs. I felt trapped. He removed his pants and boxers then forced me to have sex with him. Therefore, I lost my virginity to Des, forcefully.” Devi said, tears falling.

“Come here, Devi.” Eleanor said, pulling her in. “I knew something was up when Paxton and I saw him touch you the other day. I hate myself for this.”

Devi looked confused. “Why?”

“Because I was with Trent the whole night and didn’t notice you had disappeared. Then you left the party quickly and you looked puffy.”

Aneesa added. “I should have noticed something was off after the way Des was talking about you. I’m so sorry Devi. We are your friends, and we are here for you, no matter what.”

“Wait, Neese, what exactly did Des say about me?” Devi was determined to know what he was thinking.

“He knew you and Paxton got into a fight so he was secretly hoping you two would break up. He constantly kept saying he wanted Devi Vishwakumar, and he was going to get her, no matter what. I told him I was single and interested in him, but he wanted you. If I had known he was going to do something like this, I would have warned you. I’m so sorry.” Aneesa felt guilty.

“It’s not your fault. The thing is, he has been over a couple more times after the party. Even if you warned me, this wasn’t something I could control.” Devi reassured her.

Fabiola suddenly got angry. “Wait, he is still coming over to your house? You should get a restraining order! Does your mom know?”

“Fab, I told my mom yesterday and today we met with a detective. My mom told me if Des comes over anymore, she will call the police. This brings me to my next topic. Des got me pregnant. I’m sorry I lied to you guys.”

“Devi, I’m so sorry. Do you know what you want to do? We are here for you, no matter what.” Fabiola asked.

“Honestly, I want an abortion. Having sex was bad enough, and now being pregnant is just an everyday reminder that he will live inside me. The detective said the best thing to do right now is a court-ordered paternity test. Mom said I can get the procedure done after. Since he is 18, that will be key to giving him some jail time. But if there is more evidence found, he can be locked up for a long time.”

Aneesa was confused suddenly. “Wait, you want to kill your baby? That’s messed up.” Eleanor and Fabiola stared at her in disbelief.

“It’s my body, I didn’t even choose to have sex. There’s no way I can be a mom.”

“A fetus is still a human being. It has rights.” Aneesa argued.

“What about my rights? I didn’t choose to have sex, especially with someone who’s not my boyfriend and now I’m stuck dealing with this. I am going to be the pregnant freak at school.” Devi was upset as she said that.

“Look, you have us to support you and your family. If you can’t raise the baby, there is always adoption.”

“Aneesa, being pregnant is a nightmare. Please, try to understand.” Devi urged.

“I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” Aneesa left as Devi felt tears falling down her cheeks. Out of all her friends, she thought Aneesa would understand, having Indian parents and all. But maybe this was payback. She had hurt Aneesa once, this time she deserved to be hurt.

Fabiola and Eleanor wrapped their arms around her as Devi was crying. Then Eleanor spoke up.

“I don’t know why she said that, but I support you. My mom chose to have me then she left. Yet she was an adult.”

“We are always team Devi. You can talk to us about anything.” Fabiola said.

“Ever since it happened, I can’t sleep without having nightmares. Sometimes it’s hard to eat because I am not hungry, or I get morning sickness. I jump up every time my phone rings. Every time I see Des, he will do something then I get a panic attack. I thought losing my dad was the worst part of my life. Now I got taken advantage of.” Devi was crying when she said that.

“We may not understand what you went through, but we will keep learning every day. You became our best friends in kindergarten after you defended us from a bully. Ever since then, you were always the strong one no matter what. We are here for you.” Eleanor said.

“Thanks guys.” Devi smiled.

“Look, if Aneesa really cares, she will understand. It’s your body, your choice.” Fabiola reassured her friend.

“Also, the detective may question everyone at the party for more evidence. So, if you lied to your parents about the party, you might want to figure out what to tell them.”

“Don’t worry about our parents. We will fight for you.” Eleanor said.

“Wait you said he had been over a couple of times after it happened. Did anything happen between you guys?” Fabiola asked.

“A week after the party, he came over for dinner. Everyone was already seated so I had to sit next to him. I managed to eat for some time then he put his hand on my inner thigh and moved it, so it was touching my crotch. Then last week when I found out I was pregnant, he came over for dinner again. This time I skipped out because I wanted to avoid him. I had taken a shower and my mom asked him to check on me. He barged in when I was in a towel and started touching me. Luckily someone was coming up the stairs, so he roughly kissed me then left. Yesterday, after I told my mom, he and his mom came over. I was about to have another panic attack, so Pati took me upstairs and stayed with me. My mom said she will call the police if he comes near me, but I could tell she was angry last night, and it took all her energy not to strangle him.”

“Oh gosh, Devi. All this time I have been dating his best friend and didn’t know about his behavior. I am ending things with Addison if they defend Des.” Fabiola was firm as she said that.

“Fab, I don’t want to come between you and your romantic life.”

“Devi, what Fab’s trying to say is that we are all women here and we don’t want to support anyone who allows him to do these things.” Eleanor piped up. The girls came in for a group hug.

Meanwhile, Nalini wanted to talk to Paxton as soon as possible. When she reached his house, she knocked on the door. After a few moments, he opened it.

“Dr. Vishwakumar? Is everything okay with Devi?”

“Her friends are over, and she is keeping them updated. Actually, I was hoping to talk to you.” Paxton started getting nervous because Dr. Vishwakumar always hated him.

“Okay. Do you want to come inside?”

“Sure.” Nalini came inside Paxton’s house and sat down in the living room.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, I’m good.” Paxton sat down. “So, what’s going on?”

“I owe you an apology. As you can tell, I am very overprotective of my only child. I was never against you; I was just worried about my daughter dating. When I first saw you, I thought you were going to ruin my daughter’s life. Especially with the way she had been acting recently. But now that I know what happened, I was wrong. You were there for Devi when she told you. In fact, you were the first person she opened up to. Even though I would prefer my daughter not to be dating right now, I am happy for both of you. I also don’t want you two to sneak around anymore.” Paxton was surprised as she said that.

“Thanks Dr. Vishwakumar, that means a lot. I promise, I really like Devi, that’s why I told her she should tell you what happened. Also, I tried convincing her to tell you we were dating but she was against it. That’s why we got into a fight the night of the party.”

“How long have you known what happened? I’m not blaming anyone; I am just curious to know.”

“Since Saturday, right before she told you. I think she was scared to tell anyone. I didn’t know something was happening until I caught Des touching her. Last week though, she jumped as she got a threatening text on her phone. It was “You better not tell your boyfriend, or you are dead”. Back then, she told me Des flirted with her when he was drunk but apologized after and the text was sent because neither of them wanted me to know. I could tell something else was going on, but I didn’t want to seem like a controlling boyfriend.” Paxton said.

“It’s not your fault. I saw a threatening message come from Des on her phone. When I asked her, she told me they were joking around. I could tell she was lying but there was nothing I could do unless she told me everything. What about the cuts?”

“What do you mean?” Paxton was confused.

“She didn’t mention to you she was cutting?”

“No, she didn’t.” Nalini was now worried her daughter was having some pain but couldn’t tell anyone.

“Okay, well she mentioned she was hurting herself since the rape. She wanted to feel like she was in control.”

“Look, I will admit, I used to be jealous of Des. He is much smarter than I am, and he is the type of guy all Indian moms would approve of. But now I want to beat Des up the next time I see him. Devi hasn’t been herself because of him.” Paxton said angrily.

“Paxton Hall-Yoshida!” Paxton was surprised as his mom appeared in the living room.

June started talking. “I raised you with kindness, not to beat up people.” She then turned to Nalini. “Are you Nalini Vishwakumar?”

“Yes, that’s me. You must be Paxton’s mother.” Both women shook hands.

“I have been meaning to meet you for so long. Devi is a wonderful girl. She helped my son improve his grades in school and has been a good friend to our daughter. But anyway, what is this about beating up someone? Did he hurt your daughter?”

“No, that’s not what happened. Someone else hurt my daughter, and he pulled him off her and then started punching him. That’s another thing I want to talk to you about. I appreciate what you did yesterday in Devi’s defense and as much as I want to strangle him, we need to leave this up to the police now. If you try to get revenge on him, you are going to end up arrested. His mother was upset at you for punching her son. I don’t want her suing you or your parents.” Nalini told both of them.

“I understand. I will stay away from him.” Paxton said.

“Your father and I raised you with kindness, just use that when helping Devi out.” June added.

“Look, you proved to be a good guy, Paxton. You were right in mentioning Devi hasn’t been herself because of Des. But I worry about my daughter. While I will allow you two to date, I need to keep a better eye on her because I was too wrapped up in my head to notice someone I trusted was hurting her. Please, if she tells you anything else that happened, let me know. Also, the police will want to question you later since you were a witness.”

“Thank you Dr. Vishwakumar. I will make sure Des ends up in jail.”

June started speaking. “You and Devi should come over for dinner sometime. We would like to get to know you better.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you.” Nalini left shortly after, and Paxton was processing what had just happened. He got on Nalini Vishwakumar’s good side. That was good news, right?

Chapter Text

Chapter 26

Devi sat on the exam table in a gown and a sheet over her, shaking. She and Nalini were at the doctors to check on the status of her baby. Nalini then spoke up.

“Are you okay? You haven’t said anything the whole day.” It had been a long night. Nalini went to check on Devi when she witnessed her having another nightmare, this time giving birth. Devi had tried fighting but the nurse was telling her it was an innocent baby. Des and Rhyah were nearby telling her she was a slut for becoming a teen mom. Then Devi woke up all sweaty, tears falling down her cheeks unable to breathe. Her mother held her because she was having another panic attack. Once the attack subsided, she stayed with her the rest of the night. But Devi hardly said anything after when Nalini tried to approach the subject.

“Does a typical mother-daughter day involve a trip to the gyno?” Devi asked sarcastically.

“Yes, I know this is awkward for you. But this is important. I would not be a responsible parent if I didn’t do this.” Nalini urged.

“It’s embarrassing, all right. Having someone seeing and touching me down there.” Devi put her head in her hands.

“Devi, it’s part of being a woman. You’ll get used to it.” Nalini tried reassuring her.

“I would honestly rather be in school than doing this right now. At least during the abortion, I will get some kind of anesthesia.” Devi sighed as she said that.

“I know but we need to make sure you are okay. You can trust us. I won’t leave your side.” Nalini had made sure to get a female physician. The last thing Nalini wanted was to watch her daughter have another panic attack over a male doctor touching her. Just then a woman with brown hair walked in.

“You must be Devi! I’m Dr. Rogers and it’s nice to meet you.”

“Thanks, I would say the same thing, but you know.” Devi shrugged.

“Okay I know you are dying to get out of here, so I am just going to cut to the chase. The bloodwork will be sent to the detective and the urine test confirms you are pregnant. When was your last period?”

“Around 7 weeks ago. I was a week and a half late when I found out.”

“How often are you throwing up?”

“Like two or three times a day. It’s very unpredictable.”

“That’s normal. Have you had other sexual partners?”

“No, this was my first time.” Devi looked down in embarrassment.

“Was there a condom used?”

“I didn’t see him put one on.”

“Any pain, soreness, or itchiness in the vaginal area?”

“No.”

“Are you taking any medications?”

“No.”

“Do you take drugs or alcohol?”

“No.”

“Have you ever been hospitalized or had surgeries?”

“I got my tonsils out when I was nine.”

“How often do you get panic attacks?”

“It depends. Probably once every other day. Any time I saw him or had a nightmare they would occur.”

“Okay I’m going to do some basic checks and a pelvic exam along with testing for STDs. I am also going to prescribe you some anti-anxiety medications. Having panic attacks can be a cause of concern during pregnancy.”

Devi breathed as the doctor listened to her heart and lungs. The doctor also felt her glands. Then Devi got nervous for the next steps.

“Will the exam hurt?”

“You may feel some pressure. I will explain what I am doing along the way. If you want me to slow down or stop, just let me know. All you need to do is lie back and relax. Do you want your mom to stay with you?” Devi nodded her head and laid back as she put her feet in the stirrups. Nalini stayed beside her, stroking her hair.

As the doctor moved her gown and touched her upper thigh, she had a flashback to Des fingering her in her room.

“Get off me!” Devi was suddenly bought back to the present. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

“Devi, it’s just us. We won’t let anything happen to you.” Her mom kissed her forehead after reassuring her.

Devi took deep breaths as the doctor did what she needed to do, which made it easier. She felt relieved when the exam was done.

As Devi put her legs back down, the doctor spoke up. “Okay, you are about eight weeks long. Do you know what you want to do?”

“I want an abortion.”

Nalini spoke up, holding Devi’s hand. “We don’t have to decide today, Devi. There is still time.”

“Look, Devi, if that’s what you want, I can refer you to some abortion clinics. If you do choose to carry the baby to term, you really need to take better care of yourself. Especially with your weight, since it’s dropped quite a bit. Taking rest is important, too. Why don’t you get dressed while your mother and I talk?”

“Sure.” Devi hopped off the exam table and went to the bathroom adjoining the room to put her clothes on.

“Did you find any evidence that she was assaulted?” Nalini urged.

“Unfortunately, it looked like she had sex but if she had gotten a rape kit done, there would be clear evidence of injuries. Look, I understand your daughter has been through a lot, but she really needs to take better care of herself. You need to make sure she eats well and gets some rest.”

Nalini nodded. “Of course, I excused her from school from today so she could relax. I think she is too stressed out from school, part of it is on me pushing her.”

“It’s okay to push your kid to do well in school. But the way she is going, it is possible she is dealing with burnout due to being stressed. On top of that, she was also sexually assaulted. I also noticed she was self-harming. Is she seeing a therapist? If not, I can recommend one.”

“Yes, she has been seeing Dr. Ryan for a year and a half. She hasn’t told her therapist yet what happened. Should I find her a different one?”

“I would say keep bringing her to that therapist. She will tell her eventually. Getting better will take some time. To cope with the stress, are there any relaxing activities she can do? Stress is not good for the unborn child.”

“She loves school, and she wants to get into Princeton. That’s the problem.”

“I would prefer it if she strays off the schoolwork for some time. There are other things I would suggest like meditation, deep breathing, and/or leisure activities. You can talk with your daughter and work out what’s best for the both of you.”

Devi came out then her mother started talking. “Devi, the doctor was saying you need to do some relaxing activities to cope with the stress. And we think you should take a break from schoolwork. At least for today.”

“Fine. What do you suggest?”

“You can play your harp, get some fresh air, do something soothing. Meditation and deep breathing are also good techniques. Here is your prescription for fluoxetine 20 mg. Take this once daily in the morning. Side effects include headaches and feeling sick. It will take 4 to 6 weeks before the full benefits are felt. But you should feel something within 1 to 2 weeks. Come back if you have any new or worsening symptoms.” The doctor handed Devi her prescription as she was talking.

During the car ride, Devi hadn’t said a word and stared out the window as Nalini looked at her every few moments. Finally, Nalini pulled up at Napoli’s Pizza Kitchen.

“Am I dreaming, mom? I thought you hated this place.” Devi smiled.

“I never hated it; I just didn’t like the idea of getting pizza when going out to eat. But it is lunchtime, and I thought this was something you would like. And you need to eat something.” Nalini chastised.

Devi and Nalini ordered then sat down and started talking. “I remember the last time I came here. I was five, and dad had taken me to the doctor because I needed shots. I was hella scared.”

“Oh yes, your dad told me how brave you ended up despite you being nervous with him by your side. When you were a baby, your father was able to calm you down right away when you were sick, hurt or scared. Especially when you had an ear infection.”

“I feel so embarrassed. Even though I wasn’t getting needles in me, I somehow freaked out. I’m not a little kid.”

“Kanna, you were assaulted. That was a bad experience for you. No matter how old you are, it’s okay to have fears. But you can’t let that stop you from getting medical care. It will get easier as time passes. Your father was always good when it came to sensitive topics like these.”

Devi cringed. “Please don’t use the word sensitive. It takes me back to the time when dad tried explaining that my body was changing and what was going to happen to me.”

“To be fair, your father tried asking me to talk to you about this because he thought you would benefit from a female influence. I argued with him saying you would be more likely to listen to him. In the end, I gave him all the facts so he could talk to you. Your father was good at talking about these kinds of things.”

“Yeah, I would have told him what happened right away if he was still here. Every time you would talk to me it would end up in a screaming match.”

“Well if your father had seen you all burned out, what do you think he would say?”

“He would probably advise me to slow down. If he found out I was working way too hard in school, he would assure me that he was proud of me no matter what.”

Nalini took Devi’s hand in hers. “Exactly. Look, Devi, we are a lot alike. That’s probably why we fight a lot. But that doesn’t mean I am giving up on you. Please keep talking to me if something is wrong. By not telling anyone, you were on the verge of getting extremely depressed. I’m here for you. Also make sure to tell your therapist what happened. I know I didn’t believe in therapy at first, but it has been benefiting you. So, I only want what is best for you.”

“Thanks mom. To be fair, though, I wouldn’t have wanted dad to come with me for a GYN exam. That would have made it more embarrassing.”

Nalini smiled. She was glad to be the comforting parent for once. This was the start of a mother-daughter relationship. “Look, as much as I didn’t want you becoming pregnant at 16, the last thing I want is to pressure you to do something you don’t want to. Are you sure you want to get an abortion? Don’t worry about what the whole community is going to think. Because we can go home and talk about this some more.”

“I’m positive, mom. In fact, the sooner, the better. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with being pregnant. Maybe you were ready to be a mom when you had me, but at least you were married to dad, and you were much older. Dad loved you.”

“Of course. I’m just letting you know, whatever option you pick, you have your family to help you out.”

“Sounds good.”

Their food arrived then they continued talking. Nalini had ordered a vegetarian pizza while Devi had ordered barbeque chicken.

“I don’t know what it is with you and your love for meat.” Nalini scoffed.

“Mom, meat is tasty. I get that you want to follow all the Indian traditions and values, but I’m not like that.”

“Okay fine. But we still need to talk about Paxton. How long have you two been dating? Please be honest.”

Devi sighed. “Since the winter dance last year. I promise you I have been keeping my grades and extracurriculars up. I have been working hard to get a good score on the SAT.”

“Look, one of the reasons why I am against you dating at a young age is because boys may talk you into doing things sexually. Has Paxton ever pressured you into anything?”

“Of course not. Paxton isn’t like that.”

“I know, but I’m your mother and I can’t stop worrying. You have to admit, you have made bad choices in the past. Sneaking off to parties, drinking, getting suspended, and breaking into Dr. Jackson’s house. Alcohol and other drugs put you at higher risk for being assaulted. There is a reason you are not supposed to drink when you are under 21. However, I realized now you are growing up. Paxton sounds like a good guy now that I got to know him better. While I still prefer you hold off on the dating, I am happy for you too. I need to keep a better eye on you, though, so while you date, it will be under my rules. That means no more having him climb through your bedroom window.” Devi nodded her head as she understood.

“Look, Paxton has told me numerous times he only wants to do what I am comfortable with. That’s another reason I was scared to tell you I was raped. I didn’t want you to think you couldn’t trust me. When I told Paxton about what happened he assured me that this wasn’t my fault. In fact, I thought the hardest part of telling him would be fear of being dumped.”

“Kanna, it’s not about trust. No one should ever pressure you into something like this whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, etc. Before Des did this to you, did something ever happen between you guys? Because when Rhyah and Des were over a few weeks ago for dinner, Des said he was into you. He was also acting cocky saying he could be a better boyfriend than Paxton when I asked him if he knew what was up with you.”

“Des admitted he had a crush on me and tried to kiss me, but I am not into him like that. When I told him, he felt hurt, but he accepted it. That was a few months ago, before his father passed away. Then at the party, he suspected I got into a fight with Paxton. He was saying he had girlfriends so he could help me. But then as he touched my arm, I got this weird feeling. I didn’t think he would do something like this.” Devi sighed.

“If you are ever feeling uncomfortable about something, you can talk to me. I know it wasn’t easy in the past, but I want that to change. Also, I know Paxton is a nice guy and he is very good to look at. You don’t have to feel pressured to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. If Paxton breaks up with you because you were assaulted, then he is not the right person for you.”

“Thanks mom. When Des said he was into me, what exactly did he say that night I disappeared?”

“He knew you got into a fight with Paxton and said he offered to help you, but you brushed him off. You have to understand, with the way you have been acting, I thought Paxton had done something to you. Des said he could be a better boyfriend than Paxton, but Rhyah told him to drop it since I didn’t want you dating. When I asked him to check on you last week, he came out and told us you were okay. Pati wanted to come to your room but Des told us that you were upset, and you wanted to be left alone.”

“And I thought he was a nice guy too.”

“Even though this wasn’t your fault, please use this incident as a reminder before you willingly have sex with someone. I am not just talking now, when you are older you will be making your own choices. Sexual relations are meant for serious partnerships like marriage, not for teenagers. And I want you to go on the pill. But we can get to that later.”

“I understand.” Devi nodded her head.

“Also, I have coupons for a spa day that I got from work.”

“Okay what’s up with you? You always complain about doctors trying to make their patients feel special.”

“I talked with the doctor, and she suggested it would be a relaxing activity after traumatic events. I honestly should have thought of this after your father died, but now this will be useful. This will be a long road for both of us. I want to be here for you and the last thing I want to do is take my stress out on you.”

Devi was feeling a lot better talking about this with her mom. This was the first time in her life that she had a nice mother-daughter day.

Unknowingly to them, Mohan was in heaven watching his perfect girls getting along.

Chapter Text

Chapter 27

Des had a neutral expression when the detective arrived at his house. Rhyah was also nervous about what to tell the police about her son.

“So, Nirdesh, I have some questions about what happened on October 4^th. Do you know a girl named Devi Vishwakumar?”

“Yeah, our moms are best friends.”

“She told me some things that happened that night. Can you think about what they could be?”

Des shrugged. “We had fun at a party.”

“What kind of fun?”

“Okay, what’s going on here?”

“Fine, I’m going to cut to the chase. You are being accused of rape. She is also saying you got her pregnant and you also sent her death threats. Her boyfriend saw you groping her on school grounds.” 

“That’s ridiculous. We had sex and she wanted it. Her boyfriend found out and punched me. lt could be his baby.” Des argued with the detective.

“You do realize you are 18 and she is 16. No charges have been filed yet. However, if it is determined you are the father of the baby, you will be charged with statutory rape. Not to mention, if we get a warrant and search your phone, we can prove whether you are threatening her. Expect a court-ordered paternity test. That can prove whether sexual contact occurred between you too.”

Rhyah then chimed in. “You know what, my son won’t answer any more questions without a lawyer present.”

The detective then spoke up. “Fine, then you will need to take the court-ordered paternity test.”

“Is that really necessary?” Rhyah asked, as she was getting nervous.

“If you refuse to comply, we will have to keep you in the police station.”

The detective left and Rhyah waited a few moments before speaking again in a stern tone. “Right now, all you are going to do is take the paternity test.”

“Mom, she has a boyfriend. Devi could have had sex with Paxton, and it could be his baby.” Des urged, crossing his arms.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You have done enough damage. So, you are going to comply with the detective. Then we are going to get a lawyer so hopefully, you can avoid jail time. Now go to your room.” Rhyah hissed. Once Des was out of sight, Rhyah had another idea. She picked up her phone and texted Nalini.

Rhyah: Can we talk in person? It’s been a few days since I have seen you and I think we need to clear some things up.

Des went to his room all angry. His life was ruined because he had sex with someone else’s girlfriend. Soon after, he heard the bedroom door lock. That’s right, his mom put a lock on the door outside so he couldn’t leave. She only came up to give him essentials.

He laid down and closed his eyes. Once he woke up, a random man came into his room, glaring at him.

“Can I help you?” He asked the man.

“You are Des, right? I’m Mohan Vishwakumar. Devi’s father.” Des’s heart skipped a beat as he heard that. Mohan continued talking as he walked towards him, crossing his arms.

“You have no idea how much I want to strangle you for what you did to my daughter.” Mohan was always a patient man especially when it came to Devi, but this was different. A boy forced his little girl to have sex with him. And now she was traumatized by it.

“She wanted it. Why doesn’t anyone understand?” The next thing Mohan started shaking him violently.

Des woke up, all sweaty. He was constantly jealous of Devi. She was smarter than him and had the best relationship with her father. He and his dad fought constantly, with his mother being overprotective of his future. But he never hit him or anything. Therefore, he never hated his dad. As soon as he died, his mother sent him away because she was so worried about his studies. Emotions did not exist in his family, so he wasn't allowed to cry. During the time he was away, he felt more alone than ever because no one understood what he was going through. Once he got back, everyone acted like nothing had happened.

But everything changed when he fell for Devi. It broke his heart when she had a boyfriend. At the party though, he got what he wanted. Girls never said no to him, especially on the cruise. When he hooked up with a girl his friend liked, his friend stopped talking to him. He thought it was unfair because he really liked the girl, and he didn’t know his friend had also liked him. After he got back, he only had one goal: Devi Vishwakumar. He wanted her so badly that at the party she got into a fight with her boyfriend so that was his chance. Girls were the only thing that distracted him from his father. He suddenly remembered the last conversation he had with his father; and it was because of a girl.

Flashback

Des was angry. Rachel had been acting weird recently and now she was about to break up with him.

”Look Des I can’t do this anymore. We keep fighting and you keep accusing me of being with other guys when I’m not. This isn’t healthy.”

Des grabbed her wrist tightly and gave a menacing look. “You are not breaking up with me.”

“Des please let go!” Luckily she managed to escape and ran away from him. Des stormed inside his house unfortunately coming face to face with his father.

”Where have you been?”

”Out.” Des muttered.

”Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you. You were being violent towards a girl.” His father told him sternly.

”She broke up with me and I liked her! You don’t understand.”

”Something is clearly wrong with you. You have been developing this unhealthy attitude towards girls.”

”The only problem here is you don’t get me.” Des stormed up to his room before his father could yell at him some more. Then he heard his mom and dad arguing.

”Rhyah something is wrong with him. We need to do something.”

”His grades are good and he is focused on getting into college. He is just being a normal teenager. Do you know what people will think if our son goes to therapy?”

”Are you serious right now? I just saw him be violent towards a girl. That’s not normal behavior. It was your idea to be permissive on our son.”

”Des can’t get pregnant everything will be fine. Plus our son was just upset okay? Give him some space.”

”You are not doing him any favors being like this. Soon enough people are going to start complaining that he is dangerous.”

”Our son needs to focus on his future and we cannot scare him.”

”I have to get to work but we are not done with this conversation.” 

End of flashback

His mother had saved him that night. But now Devi Vishwakumar was about to tell. And all would go to hell.

Meanwhile, Devi and her family, including Kamala were eating dinner at home after a nice day out. After the spa, Devi and her mother took a walk and got some fresh air. Devi had felt more relaxed so she thought this dinner would go well. Pati had updated on Kamala on recent events, but so far Kamala hadn’t said anything. Devi finally tried speaking up.

“So Kamala, how was your day?”

“Fine, I guess.” Kamala just stared at her food.

“What’s up with you?”

“Not everything’s about you, Devi.” Nalini and Pati looked at Kamala in disbelief.

“What do you mean? I’m trying to be nice.” Devi was all confused.

“Apparently I don’t matter to you enough that you would rather take your anger out on us than talk to me!” Kamala angrily said.

Devi had enough and just stormed out of the kitchen, up to her room, collapsing on her bed. Tears started falling out of her eyes. Just when things got better someone had to hate her. She bundled herself up in a cocoon, tucking her pillow underneath her.

“Do you want to explain what just happened?” Nalini asked, a bit upset. She was surprised to see Kamala and Devi fight. While Devi grew up being jealous of her cousin, their relationship was more mentor-mentee than siblings who would constantly fight.

“She used to come to me about everything. Clearly me moving out meant she could completely ignore me forever. I always think of her as like a little sister.” Kamala was upset as she said that.

“Kamala, this isn’t something that is easy to talk about. Especially from someone constantly trying to gain approval.” Nalini urged. Nalini left the table to check on Devi.

“If at any time Devi needed someone who is like a big sister, now would be it.” Pati said, sternly.

Kamala thought back to when she met Devi for the first time. Devi was ten months old, and the family came to visit India.

Flashback

Kamala was eight years old and was feeling bored in her room. Her sisters all had studies to do, and she was too young for them. Therefore, she felt like the odd one out in the family.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her mother came in. “Kamala, come say hi to Mohan Uncle and Nalini Aunty.”

Kamala rushed out of the room to say hello and give a hug to her relatives. Then Mohan who was holding Devi came up to her.

“Kamala, this is Devi your cousin.”

“Hi, Devi.” Kamala got all excited and tried shaking her hand. Devi got nervous at first and buried her head in her dad’s shoulder. “Kanna, it’s just your cousin.” Mohan said rubbing Devi’s back.

Then Kamala had an idea. After showing her a toy, she started smiling. Mohan gently put Devi on the floor and watched as the two of them started playing.

Kamala suddenly felt like an overprotective older sister.

End of flashback

Kamala was bought back to the present. Since she moved in, she had tried fulfilling the role of older sister. Suddenly felt guilty. Had she been so AWOL that Devi couldn’t come to her if something was wrong? She hadn’t meant to lash at Devi.

“Kamala? Did you hear what I said?” Pati asked.

“I’m sorry Pati, I didn’t mean to get upset. I will go talk to her.”

“Give her some space, you can talk to her before you leave.” Pati said gently.

Once Nalini reached Devi’s room, she gently opened the door.

“Go away, Kamala.” Devi said, all puffy.

“It’s your mother Devi.” Devi looked up as her mother came in.

“Fine come in.” Nalini came and sat next to Devi on her bed before starting to talk.

“Don’t take it personally what she said, okay. She feels guilty that you couldn’t talk to anyone about this. You two are so close. I’m not blaming you, but why didn’t you tell her?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t want her thinking I was broken. If I told her I was pregnant, she would have urged me to tell you.”

“Devi, hiding stuff like this doesn’t make it better. It only makes things worse.” Nalini urged.

“I get it mom, okay. I don’t need another lecture.” Devi snapped.

“That’s not what I am trying to do here. I just want to talk. Tell me what’s on your mind.” Nalini said gently, brushing a strand of hair.

“I have had dreams before where dad would come talk to me. I kind of told him through a dream I had when I found out I was pregnant. I felt so vulnerable telling him that. This probably looks crazy, me saying that.”

“That’s okay. I have had those dreams too. He gave me advice on how to talk to you without you pushing me out.” Devi was surprised her mother said that.

“I’m sorry mom.” Nalini was confused.

“Devi, it’s okay to miss your dad and talk to him.” She assured her.

“No mom, for my anger, disrespectfulness, and irritability these past few weeks. I wasn’t sure whether you would look at me the same way, so I tried to remain strong.” Devi felt tears falling again.

“Come here.” Devi fell into her mother, Nalini rubbing her back. “Sometimes we all say things we don’t mean. While you were incredibly disrespectful recently, I think it was because of the pregnancy hormones. However, that doesn’t mean I am going to continue tolerating this behavior. I am still your mother and not your friend. I want you to keep going to therapy and talking about this. Also, you are not a disgrace to me. I do care about reputation because I want you to be a good person. But you are my daughter. I am harsh on you because I am trying to protect you. You mean the world to me. It is not your fault Des hurt you. However, I was scared because instead of talking to someone you felt like you had to hurt yourself. You didn’t cut again, did you?” Nalini held her chin as she said that.

”No but sometimes I wonder whether I am just too much for everyone, especially Paxton. I am worried one day he will think I am just a slut. Same thing with my friends.”

”First off, you are not a slut. Second, Des is the one who did something wrong here not you. You are never too much, okay? If Paxton doesn’t realize that, then there will be at least one guy out there who understands. Don’t think such things about yourself.” 

“Thanks mom. Can I go back to school tomorrow though? I know you said I need to slow down, but it’s going to be boring at home all day.”

“Yes, you can go back. School is your job. But you need to take care of yourself. Since you had to miss part of the day, I thought a mental health day would be useful for you. Also, the doctor called earlier. You are cleared of STDs.” Devi breathed in relief as she heard that.

Nalini continued talking. “For the time being, I removed all the sharp objects from your room and bathroom. If you want to use something like your scissors, you will be downstairs under mine or Pati’s supervision.”

“I just told you I am not hurting myself again.”

“I know, but I will believe it when I see it. This is for your safety. How do you feel about Dr. Ryan though? While I want you in therapy, the last thing I want is to place you with a therapist you are uncomfortable with.”

“I want to stick with her. She’s very understanding and listens to me.” Nalini kissed her hair. Devi was enjoying the recent comfort from her mother.

“The sneaking around has got to stop, though. I mean it. No more having Paxton climb through your bedroom window and your door has got to be always open when he is over. And I absolutely do not tolerate the cursing and bad language.” Nalini wanted to make this clear because every time she tried to lay down the law in the past, her daughter would end up disobeying her.

Devi rolled her eyes but then nodded her head. “I understand.”

”I’m dead serious. I get it you are moody and upset but I will not hesitate to punish you if you use any more bad language.”

”Okay mom I promise.”

Just then Devi heard a knock to find Kamala standing at the door. Kamala spoke up. “Devi, I came to apologize.”

“I’ll leave you girls alone.” Nalini left the room as Kamala sat on her bed.

“Look, Devi. I felt guilty that you didn’t come to me. I thought I didn’t matter that much to you. But I shouldn’t have overreacted like that.”

“Kamala, that’s not the case. I felt scared of everyone’s reactions. Sure, you never really judged me, but I didn’t want you to think I was broken. I don’t know anyone else who has gone through this kind of thing. Plus, if I was pregnant, you would have told my mom.”

“Devi, being pregnant isn’t really something I can keep in secret. Had you been 18, I would have taken you to the clinic if you wanted an abortion. But that doesn’t matter. We’re family. We are supposed to be there for each other.”

“I know, I was just hurt when it happened. Also, I don’t want you to think Paxton is a bad guy because he has never pressured me into anything. In fact, he was supportive when I told him.”

“Devi, I just worry, okay? Until I found out what happened, you were acting really sketchy. But I am happy for you and Paxton.”

“Thanks. Also, I am sorry I haven’t been supportive of you and my teacher. I just worry things will get weird since I am his student. But unlike Pati, I can tell he makes you happy.”

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Devi. That’s what I admire about you. You don’t let anyone get in the way of your life. For instance, you told Des you weren’t into him even though every Indian mom would approve of him. You stood up for yourself when you told Nalini Auntie about you and Paxton. I didn’t have the courage to do that when it came to Prashant. I just ran away without thinking.”

“Wow I didn’t think about that. Let me know if you need any more advice on being fierce. And I meant what I said. You are like the best big sister to me.”

“Thanks Devi. Please come to me if something is wrong. Just because I moved out doesn’t mean I gave up on this family.” Both girls hugged.

Nalini was in the hallway, listening to the conversation. She was glad the girls were getting along again. Soon Kamala left and Devi was feeling a little better. Nalini came back with a plate of food for Devi.

“You didn’t eat much so we have plenty of leftovers. Pregnant or not, you need to eat something.”

“Thanks mom. I will try.” Nalini left the room as Devi ate.

She had her family on her side and her mom was team Paxton. But Des was still out there. Could she ever be normal again?

Chapter Text

Chapter 28

Devi woke up the next morning ready to tackle the school day. She put on a sweater with a skirt that went down to her knees. Even though she felt so much better, the anxiety remained. For one, Des was still out there. On top of that, the cuts were still visible. So, whatever she wore, she didn’t want to expose her thighs.

After eating breakfast with her family, Devi heard a knock at the door. Paxton was standing outside when her mom answered it.

“Good morning, Paxton!” For once, Nalini was happy to see Paxton.

“Morning Dr. Vishwakumar! If it’s okay with you, I thought I could give Devi a ride to school.” It all worked out for Nalini because Rhyah wanted to meet up with her in the morning before work. She was honestly nervous to see her friend because of what happened.

“That’s very sweet of you. Devi, Paxton’s here to see you.” Devi rushed to the door and kissed Paxton.

“Bye mom! We’re heading out.”

“Paxton, please drive safely. Always keep your hands on the wheel. Devi, text me when you reach.” Devi said bye then both left for school.

During the car ride, Devi tried distracting herself by asking Paxton about his college plans, what he was up to, etc. Once they got to school, Paxton got all serious.

“I’m sorry Devi.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Devi got all confused.

“At the party, I was too busy trying to deal with Zoe to realize something was wrong with you. I should have tried to find you and make sure you were okay even though we got into a fight.”

“Paxton, come on, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I get that you didn’t want to talk to me. But do you know I feel like a shitty boyfriend? Playing beer pong with friends while you were hurt. I just hate that you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sorry, I was worried that you would take it the wrong way. I made a mistake cheating on you once. I didn’t want to do it again. What happened to me was horrible, and it would have been worse if we broke up because of that.”

“The thing is you didn’t cheat on me. You tried to push him off you, but he didn’t listen. Devi, you were having a panic attack when he touched you. I’m pretty sure this is not the first time you have had them because of Des. I am not going to run away. If you have a problem, you can tell me, okay?”

“Okay, I promise to be more honest with you. I went to the doctor yesterday and started taking anti-anxiety medications. So hopefully the panic attacks will stop. I am also cleared of STDs.”

“That’s great.”

Both kissed as they got out of the jeep and walked into school, hand in hand. People were staring at her as she and Paxton were walking. Devi then whispered to Paxton. “Okay, what’s going on? Do people suspect something?”

“I hope not. I haven’t told anyone except your friends what happened. I don’t want to keep embarrassing you.”

Devi nodded and saw Aneesa at her locker. “Hey Aneesa!” Devi called. Aneesa turned around and just walked to class, ignoring Devi. Devi assumed she was still mad at her, so she just went to class.

Meanwhile, Rhyah and Nalini met up at a coffee shop that morning. Both women ordered coffee, sat down and waited a few minutes before talking. Rhyah then spoke up.

“So how is Devi?”

Nalini spoke up angrily. “How is she? Let’s see. She has had nightmares, panic attacks, lost weight, and she has been tired. My mother-in-law and I had to approach her gently in order to tell us everything that happened. On top of that, she is pregnant.” Nalini paused before continuing to talk. “I’m sorry, look it’s not your fault here.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have known something was up with my son. He had been acting weird after he got back, and I thought it was just grief. My husband and I always trusted him when it came to girls. It's clear we were too permissive.” Rhyah pulled something from her purse then continued talking.

“Here is a check to help with medical expenses or whatever you need. This is coming from Des’s trust fund since he is the father. If you need more money, just tell me. Once the kid is born, I can pitch in to help.”

Nalini put up a hand to stop her. “Rhyah, she wants an abortion. Being raped was bad enough but now being pregnant is an everyday reminder that he will live inside her. Looking at her state, I am not convinced she can give birth.”

“Then use the check to pay for it. I will deal with my son.”

“How exactly are you handling your son? Talking to him isn’t going to cut it. Devi is afraid to go places in case she will run into him. She jumps up every time she gets a text worrying that it will be a death threat.”

“I took his phone, laptop, and car keys away. I have been driving him to school every day. Other than school, he is on lockdown. To make sure he doesn’t leave the house, I locked him in his bedroom. It sounds harsh, but my mother-in-law wanted to kick him out.”

“Rhyah, if you kick him out, he could be doing the same thing to other girls. Not to mention he could find a burner phone somewhere and continue sending threatening texts.” Nalini lectured.

“I have been working hard for his future and if the police find out, he is not going to have one. What about our community? Our reputation? How can we even go out in public if people find out about this?”

“My daughter's reputation is already about to be ruined. What are you trying to suggest here?”

“The police came by yesterday. I will help with whatever I can, but please, don’t involve the police.”

Nalini was taken aback once she heard that. “I’m sorry, what do you plan to do with your son if we let this go, huh?”

“No college will accept my son if the police find out. My son’s future is ruined.”

“You think your son’s future is in jeopardy? My daughter most certainly did not choose to be pregnant at 16, let alone have sex. I am worried about her getting bullied at school.” Nalini was shocked at her friend’s words.

“That’s not what I am saying. Your daughter can still go to Princeton and resume her normal life. Plus, didn’t she become friends with the same girl she bullied at first?”

“Rhyah, I made sure my daughter took responsibility for her actions. I didn’t fight the suspension. This isn’t the same situation. Your son has been repeatedly fondling and harassing my daughter.” Nalini lectured.

“Look, I am restricting my son heavily and I will do everything I can to make sure he doesn’t go near Devi. I just think it’s best we don’t get the legal authorities involved.”

“I have to get to work. I can’t talk about this right now.” Nalini quickly left before Rhyah had the chance to say something else. She felt stressed out trying to clean up the messes in her family and now her friend was trying to pressure her to let it go. All she wanted was to protect her little girl. This was too much for her to handle right now. She needed some space from Rhyah.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29

Devi felt nervous at this week’s therapy session. For the past few ones, she had just told her therapist she was missing her dad and was stressed with school. Now her mom wanted her to talk about what actually happened. Once Dr. Ryan called her into her office, Devi was so spaced out trying to prepare for what she wanted to say.

“So Devi, what’s going on with you? Your mom told me you haven’t been yourself these past few weeks. She didn’t tell me why, but she wanted you to talk about it.”

“Um, I was raped by her friend’s son, Des. It was at a party about a month ago and I wasn’t sure whom I could tell. Other than my dad. When I wrote in my grief journal, I was telling him that I was in trouble.” Devi felt tears falling as she said that.

“Devi, I am so sorry that happened to you. This is not at all your fault; do you hear me?” Devi nodded her head as she began speaking again.

“I know, that’s what everyone has been telling me. But given that my mom and Pati are friends with his relatives, I was worried about what they would say. That’s why I was cutting my thighs. I felt like so much has been taken away from me. My dad, the use of my legs, and now my virginity. My virginity was the one thing I wanted to lose to Paxton, not Des. During the time Des was having sex with me, I couldn’t move my legs. The only strength I had was in my arms which weren’t strong enough to push him off.”

“Honey, you had a real scare when it came to your legs. But you are a strong girl. You are going to live a life that is rich and wonderful. This boy isn’t.”

“I’m worried what everyone is going to think. The hardest part was thinking my mom and grandma would completely disown me.”

“Your family cares about protecting you. Look your mom may be harsh, but she wants what is best for you. This boy was the one who hurt you. As for your classmates, you can’t let what others say about you decide the rest of your life. There will probably be people saying you wanted it, but the truth is they don’t know what happened. Only you know what happened. That is the control you have. Do you remember what I told you when you heard those girls slut shaming you?”

Devi nodded. “You told me not to let those girls define me. Otherwise, that gives them my power.”

“Exactly! Ignoring them is the exercise in restraint. Now as for the self harming. I want us to spend these next few sessions on some techniques on what to do if you get that urge to cut again. We can also spend these sessions talking about all the effects.”

“I stopped cutting after I told my mom.”

“I know, but unfortunately, relapses are common and I want you to be prepared.”

“Relapses? Doc, I’m not on drugs.” Devi retorted.

“Relapses are not limited to drugs. They can happen when you are trying to make a major change. You have been through a lot recently which can lead to a variety of emotions.”

“I know, I just don’t feel like myself anymore after everything happened.”

“You told me you would have told your dad if he was here, right?” Devi nodded as Dr Ryan continued talking. “I want you to write in that grief journal about how you are feeling. That way you can keep talking to your dad.” 

Once Devi got home, she was surprised to see the detective and the police officer talking with her mom.

“Devi come sit, we have some news.” Her mom said.

“Should I be scared?” Devi sat down hesitantly.

“Devi, it’s okay just listen to us.” Nalini said. The detective then started talking.

“The results of the paternity test came back. Nirdesh is the father.”

“So, then what does this mean?” Devi said.

“Charges are currently at statutory rape and harassment. Also, Devi, I tested the clothes you gave me and all I found was a DNA match for Nirdesh. So currently the punishment for him will be 6 months in prison and a fine. But for the case to be stronger, we need more evidence that it wasn’t consensual. Since you are a minor and he is 18, if he is convicted, then the punishment will be a maximum of 11 years in prison. He will also have to register as a sex offender.”

“But how do I get more evidence? This happened in a bedroom with the door locked.” Devi was getting frustrated.

“I would like to question everyone who was at the party, including your boyfriend. There must have been someone that saw something. It would help if you could put together a list of people you know.”

“Sounds good. Let me do it right now.” Devi took out her notebook and pen and started making the list. She realized she was taking a huge risk having everyone find out but at this point she didn’t care. At this point, all she wanted was justice. Once Devi finished the list, she handed it to the detective. “These are all the people I know were there. There’s probably more.”

“No, it’s fine this is a start. We will question everyone as soon as possible.” The detective and police officer left. Devi was about to go back upstairs but Nalini stopped her. “Devi, let’s talk.”

“About what? I have homework to do. I know you said I need to slow down but I just want to catch up.”

“How about you study downstairs? We can talk while you work.” Nalini wanted to talk to her daughter, and she was scared of sending her to her bedroom alone.

“Um, fine I guess.” Devi wasn’t sure where her mom was coming from, but she wanted to be the good child, so she obeyed her mother. As soon as she sat down and pulled out her homework, she felt her stomach churn. Devi quickly ran to the nearest bathroom and retched everything she had for lunch that day. Her mother came in and started stroking her hair. Once she was done and Devi rinsed her mouth, both sat at the kitchen table.

“I don’t know how much more I can deal with this.” Devi croaked.

“I know that’s one of the worst parts about being pregnant. But now that the detective has evidence, I can take you to the clinic Saturday and get the abortion done. How was your day otherwise?”

Devi shrugged as she started working. “Day was fine. I told Dr. Ryan and she helped me with some techniques to help cope. It was kind of a lot to tell. She said we can go through these topics one step at a time.” Devi’s thoughts were on Aneesa. She had worked hard to try and be a good friend to her and now Aneesa hated her. Devi was worried Aneesa would never forgive her if the cops questioned her. Because that meant her parents would know where she was the night of the party.

“That’s okay. Talking about it will be a process. But you can’t keep hiding this stuff. Take it one step at a time.”

“I know. I felt so much better telling her. She is going to help me with some techniques in case I self-harm again.”

Nalini noticed Devi’s expression. “Something is still bothering you. Did anyone trouble you at school? You and Paxton got in another fight?”

Devi sighed because she wanted her mom to stop questioning her. “It’s Aneesa. When I invited the girls over and told them, she got upset that I wanted an abortion. She thinks it’s messed up that I am trying to kill my baby. I told her it’s my body and I didn’t choose to get pregnant. I am not ready to be a mom. Maybe this is payback. I mean I hurt her once before.”

“I am not going to lie; you did hurt her once before. But as soon as you found out, you fixed things. And ever since then, you have been trying to be the best person you can be. If Aneesa really thinks of you as her friend, she will understand it’s your choice. Devi, you were forced into having sex. On top of that, you are 16 and in high school. I think aborting the baby is the right choice you are making for yourself.”

“For the past few days, people were staring at me as if they knew what happened. What if Aneesa tells everyone? I thought having an Indian friend meant having someone that truly understood you.”

Nalini felt her heart breaking as she heard her daughter talk. “No matter what happens, you have your family by your side. And yes, I thought it would be good for you to have an Indian friend because I wanted her to be a good influence on you. However, if she ends up betraying you, that friendship isn’t worth it. The more important part is having true friends standing by your side. Eleanor and Fabiola are supporting you, right? And you have Paxton?”

Devi smiled as she heard that. “Yeah.”

“Look I used to think Des and Aneesa were good influences on you. But now the more important thing is having people in your life that you are happy with.” Nalini was starting to wonder whether Rhyah was just betraying her as she told Devi that.

“Thanks mom. I should get back to my homework.” Devi continued to study as she tried her best to remain her normal self. Now that she had her family on her side, she wanted to focus on her future. Dr. Ryan said only she could decide her fate.

Chapter Text

Chapter 30

Des was at school heading to lunch. It was bad enough the police found out he and Devi had sex. His life was about to be ruined. Just then Parker came up to him. Both grabbed a table then started talking.

“Hey listen. The cops want to question me tomorrow about what happened at the party.” Parker said.

“Okay it’s no big deal. No one saw what happened.”

“Des I am worried about your behavior. As soon as you came out of that room, Devi came out a few minutes later crying.”

“Come on, she was upset about her boyfriend. I was just helping her out.”

“You came out laughing and she was crying harder. I don’t believe you. And I am not lying to the cops.” Parker said sternly.

“You were drunk, you don’t know what happened.” Des said angrily.

“I only had two beers. So, I was sober enough to know what happened.”

“Oh really? She wanted just as much as I did. The only reason everyone is blaming me is because she has a boyfriend.”

“Your behavior has changed over the past few months, especially towards girls. I thought you were missing your dad, but clearly you are being sketchy.” Just then their other friend Addison had passed by.

“Hey Addy! Over here!” Addison came and stood a few feet from Des. “What?” They said angrily, crossing their arms.

“Come on that’s no way to greet a friend. You have been avoiding me for the past few days.” Des coolly said, trying to hug them.

“Dude, you are a guy, and the cops want to question me about what is up with you. So right now, I think it’s best I keep my distance.” Addison backed off.

“I can’t believe you think I would do something like this. Let’s talk.” Des pleaded.

“No way. My girlfriend is her best friend and she told me everything.” They walked away, leaving the boys alone.

“Look, we hardly see you anymore. So, we are not sure if we can believe you.” Parker said.

“My mom is a bitch that has been locking me in the house. She took away my phone, laptop, and car keys all because we had sex. So yeah, I don’t have a life anymore.” Des scowled as he said that.

“I’ll be back I am going to get something from the vending machine.” Parker had left his phone on the table. Des’s mother still had his phone, so without thinking he grabbed his friend’s phone so he could text Devi. Quickly, he typed in her number and sent another threatening message. He deleted the text before Parker came back.

At Sherman Oaks, Devi was on her way to precalculus after lunch. People were whispering around her but so far, no snarky comments. Suddenly she got a text from an unknown number.

Devi Vishwakumar, you pregnant slut. You may be free, but I am coming to get you. Then you will be dead before you know it.

Devi froze as she read the message. This time it wasn’t from Des. It was from an unknown number. Maybe Des had an accomplice.

“David are you okay? You look frozen suddenly.” Ben came up to her, distracting her.

“Oh yeah, I just got a random message.” Devi shrugged.

“Are you sure? The police called my house, they want to question me about what happened the night of Trent’s party. Is it true? Were you raped by Des?” Ben asked gently.

Devi nodded her head. “Yeah. I guess that’s why I haven’t been myself lately.”

“I’m so sorry, Devi. I should have known something was up with that tool. Instead that night I was too busy trying to see if Fabiola was smarter than me.”

“Enough with the guilt, Gross. If you must know, though, the random message sent to me was a death threat. It wasn’t from Des’s phone, but this person knows what happened and is coming for me.”

“How did your family take it when you told them?”

“Honestly it was hard trying to tell them because I was afraid, they would disown me. If my dad was here, I would have told him first. But my mom and Pati are supportive and willing to help me. So are my friends and Paxton. I just hope the police do something.”

“Don’t worry, I know you are in love with Paxton. But I need my rival back. So, when the police question me, I will bury them, so Des is in for life. But you should tell the police about the text.”

“Thanks, we should head to class.” During class, Ben and Devi shot glances at each other as they took notes. When their teacher asked questions, they both fought for the answers as usual. Ben smiled because this routine kept them both on their toes.

After class, Devi saw Aneesa by her locker. She wanted to try and make things right. So, she tried approaching her.

“Aneesa, can we talk? It’s been a few days and I think we should clear things up.”

“The police called my parents because they wanted to question me about what happened. I’m already in enough trouble with my parents since they found out I wasn’t at your place that night. Thanks for ratting me out.” Aneesa snapped.

“Aneesa, the police wanted more evidence that I was raped. I didn’t want everyone to know, and it wasn’t my intention to have the parents find out. I thought we were friends.” Devi pleaded.

“Friends?!” Aneesa said sarcastically. “Devi Vishwakumar, all you care is about hurting people. First Ben, then me and now your baby! How do we know that Des didn’t hurt you and you just cheated on your boyfriend, again! I mean you guys got into a fight right before it happened!” Devi felt her face turn red as the entire school heard their conversation. Students gasped around her.

Without thinking, she went to the nearest washroom and locked herself in a stall. She had tried to be the best person she could since last year and now everything was fucked up. There was no way she was going back to class after this. Tears were falling down her eyes as she heard Zoey and Shira come in.

“Wow, so it’s true. Crazy Devi had sex with another guy and got herself knocked up.” Zoey laughed.

“She thinks she is so mature, but the truth is she is a cheater and a slut. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Now she is a total loser and going to be someone’s mom.” Shira said.

“I can’t wait for Paxton to break up with her. Soon he will be mine.” Zoey giggled. Both girls left the bathroom after that.

Devi couldn’t control the tears anymore and put her head in her hands since it was true. Aneesa had a point, she deserved to be hurt. Maybe it was a bad idea to try to make things up with her. At least her mom promised to take her to the abortion clinic this weekend. Once she got rid of this pregnancy, she would feel much stronger than ever. Devi pulled out her compass from her backpack. Lifting her dress, she placed the sharp edge too close to her thigh but stopped when she heard her best friends coming in.

“Devi?” She ignored them so she could pretend she wasn’t in there.

However, Eleanor knocked on the stall. “Devi, it’s just me and Fab, okay? Your best friends. We know you are in there. Please come out and talk to us.”

Devi put the compass in her backpack and reluctantly opened the stall door so her friends could pull her in for a hug. “What’s the scoop? Should I go into hiding for the rest of my life?” She tearfully asked.

“Forget Aneesa. I don’t know what is up with her. Paxton was pissed at her for saying that. He wanted to check on you, but you were in the bathroom, so he asked us to do it. He is waiting outside whenever you are ready.” Eleanor said.

“You have us, and you have Paxton, Ben, Trent. And you have your family. When the police question us, we are going to make sure Des is dead.” Fabiola said.

“I thought I could keep this under wraps since Des goes to a different school. Now the whole school knows. Last year was bad enough. I just thought this year would be different.” Devi sighed.

“Principal Grubbs did hear what happened and took Aneesa into her office. So maybe she is in trouble.” Fabiola said.

“I think Des has an accomplice. I got a death threat from an unknown number. This person knows what happened.”

“You should probably tell the police. But don’t worry about it right now. Why don’t you come out? Paxton is dying to see you. Plus, we have to get to class soon.” Eleanor said.

“Eleanor’s right. You can’t hide in here forever, Devi.” Fabiola added.

Devi smiled as she heard that. “Okay. Sure.” Devi’s friends were right as Paxton was waiting outside and gave her a huge hug. Paxton cradled her face then started talking.

“Are you going to be okay? I told Zoey and Shira to mind their own business. They don’t know what really happened.”

Devi shrugged. “I guess. I can’t believe Aneesa though. She acts like she’s the one who is pregnant, not me. I thought she was supportive of me.”

“I’m not leaving you, okay? Why don’t we head to class? I will give you a ride home after.”

“Sure.” Both kissed then Devi headed to class, not caring she was late. She would figure out how to tell her teacher later.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31

Devi somehow managed to survive the rest of the day. She hadn’t seen Aneesa which was good because she didn’t want to talk to her. People gossiped around her, but she distracted herself by taking notes.

Once last period was over, Paxton waited for her by her locker as she put her books in. After she was done, both walked hand in hand out of the school. Both got in the car then Paxton then spoke up.

“Are you sure you are going to be okay? It sucks that we can’t hang out tonight.” Paxton had a family thing, and her friends were going out on dates, so Devi was going to be alone tonight.

“Yeah, I have my mom and grandma to distract me.”

“I just don’t want you to hurt yourself again.” Devi was surprised when she heard that.

“Wait, what? How did you know that? You didn’t read my journal, did you?” Devi felt anger hit her.

“What? No, your mom came by the other day and told me. She thought you had told me and wanted to know how long I knew you were hurting herself. I was surprised because you hadn’t told me that.”

“Oh my gosh. I needed something I had control over. My mom took away the razor blade. Did you tell anyone? Because I haven’t even told my friends.”

Devi put her head in her hands as Paxton put his arm around her. “No, although you should probably tell your friends. Your mom was just telling me she was worried about you.”

“Wait my mom was at your house?”

“Yeah, she came the day after you told me. Apparently, she was never against me and for the time being is approving of us dating. Also, she told me not to go near Des otherwise his mom might sue me.”

“My mom has a point though. If you beat him up, you will go to jail, and I will lose you.”

“I know but it irks me that he made you uncomfortable. You have been scared any time we make out because of him.”

Devi’s head turned away. “I wanted to lose my virginity to you, not him. And now I’m not sure whether we can do it. I get that flashback any time we go to second base.” Devi thought back to when they tried to have sex, Paxton stopping as soon as she was uncomfortable.

“Then we don’t do it. And you were forced the first time. In my opinion, it doesn’t count. Look, why don’t we just take things slow. If you are not comfortable with something, we will stop.”

“That sounds like a fair deal.” Devi said as Paxton started driving.

“The cops are going to question me tomorrow. Hopefully they charge him.”

“Since he is 18 and I am not, they can charge him with statutory rape. However, they need evidence I didn’t consent if he were to be in jail longer.”

“That sucks. Has he threatened you further?”

“No, his mom took away his phone and laptop. I did get a threatening text from this unknown number. It sounds like he has an accomplice. Maybe I should text the number back.”

“That’s a bad idea. Just tell the police. They can track the phone number it was sent from.”

“What if Des gets away with it? I fear going out in public because I may run into him.”

“Right now, you’re with me. But worst case worse, you could try for a restraining order.” Just then they pulled up at her house.

“Bye.” Devi kissed Paxton then went inside her house. Once Devi got inside, she went to her room and started on her homework. Her mom came around 5:30.

“Devi, come downstairs please!” Devi rushed downstairs worried she was in trouble.

“Mom, am I in trouble?” Nalini guided Devi to the couch. Once they both sat, Nalini started talking.

“No kanna, I just wanted to check in. Show me your thighs.” Devi rolled up her dress so her mom could see her thighs. Nalini breathed in relief since she saw no new cuts.

“I almost did it again.” Devi said without thinking.

Nalini stared at her, trying to process what Devi said, but kept it in together. “When was this? And what did you use?”

“Earlier in the day, when the whole school found out. It was so embarrassing; I ran to the bathroom. I regret doing this, I swear. It was my compass; I almost used the sharp edge. When my friends came to check on me, I put it quickly in my backpack before they noticed. I know I promised you I was done but now I don’t know. What if I can’t stop?” Devi felt tears falling.

“Come here.” Nalini pulled Devi in then continued talking. “I’m not going to lie, things will be hard in life. I can recall the number of times I have been mocked or stared at in public because I’m Indian. But I am going to tell you something your father told me. Things will get better. You can’t let one event define the rest of your life. You are doing more harm than good by hurting yourself. Is that why you are home alone?”

“No Eleanor and Fabiola are out on dates and Paxton is out with his family. I was just doing homework upstairs.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened at school? One of your teachers called and said you were late to her class. I also heard a little bit from my patients gossiping around but I want to know from your end.”

Devi was surprised when she heard that, but she started talking. “It’s been a few days since Aneesa and I last spoke so I thought I could try to figure out what was going on. She was upset because her parents found out she was at the party that night. I told her the police wanted more evidence about what happened that night. Then she screamed saying all I was trying to hurt people, including my baby and how everyone questions whether I am telling the truth and whether Des really hurt me. That’s when the whole school heard. People started gossiping and whispering that I was lying. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall before taking out a compass and almost cutting again. Did I make a mistake talking to her?”

“No, Devi. People can be cruel sometimes. But only you know what happened, okay? I have seen your mental state over these past few weeks. Raising a kid is a lot of responsibility, especially at 16. But again, you are a strong girl. Only you can decide how to let this define you for the rest of your life.” Nalini said, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

“Thanks mom. Um, at school I got another death threat text. It was from an unknown number, but this person must have known what happened or one of Des’s accomplices.” Devi showed her mom the text.

“We will go to the police tomorrow after the abortion so they can investigate this. Sometimes people can use burner phones.”

“Okay, mom.”

Nalini pulled Devi in for a hug and continued talking. “Promise to come to me if you ever feel like hurting yourself again.”

“I promise.” Nalini put her hands on Devi’s cheeks.

“Okay. Your grandmother is out with her friends, so it is just the two of us. How about we have a movie night?”

Devi smiled at the idea. “I would like that.”

“Good. I am going upstairs to change then we can get started.”

As soon as Nalini disappeared, Devi heard a knock at the door. She opened it, coming face to face with Rhyah.

“Hi Rhyah Aunty, my mom’s upstairs. I will go get her.” Rhyah came inside and sat down on the couch.

“It’s okay, Devi. I can wait. I was hoping to talk to you while waiting.” Devi was nervous because she hadn’t seen Rhyah since everyone found out what happened.

“Um, okay. What’s going on?”

“What were you wearing at the party?”

“A top and a skirt. Why?” Devi was confused.

“How revealing were those clothes? How much did they show?”

“They were not revealing.”

“Really? Did you wear those clothes because you wanted my son to have sex with you?”

“What? No!” Devi was getting nervous. 

“You must have flirted with my son.”

“No I didn’t I swear! I told him I have a boyfriend and I wasn’t into him like that!” Sweat was rolling down Devi’s face.

“Really? You got into a fight with your boyfriend beforehand!"

“He sounded weird when he talked to me, so I got away from him. Then at the party, he locked the bedroom door so I couldn’t escape.”

Rhyah grabbed her arm tightly. “You are ruining my son’s life by going to the police. He is not going to get into Stanford.”

“Aunty, I didn’t want to have sex at all. I told him to stop several times throughout, but he didn’t listen! Now because of that I am pregnant! Let go of me!” Devi felt her chest tightening.

“You and your family literally have no respect. You are just a loose Indian girl who cheated on her boyfriend.” Rhyah hissed. Just then Nalini came downstairs. “What is going on here?” Nalini shouted.

Devi’s chest tightened, the edges of her vision went back, and then she passed out. Blood was flowing on her legs.

Chapter Text

Chapter 32

Nalini was coming downstairs when she heard shouting. Once she saw Devi pass out, she got angry. “Rhyah, get out of my house or I’m calling the police!” Rhyah reluctantly left.

“Devi! Devi, wake up. Mommy’s right here.” Nalini said, as she was shaking her daughter.

Nalini quickly checked for a pulse and was relieved when she found out her daughter was still breathing. However, she quickly called an ambulance as she was panicking. Once the paramedics came, they put Devi onto a stretcher and allowed Nalini to ride with them to the hospital.

During the ride, Nalini texted Kamala and Pati to update them on what was going on and to tell Pati to bring a change of clothes. She also feared the worst. When she saw the blood, she had a hunch that it was a miscarriage. Nalini thought back to when she was pregnant with her second kid. As soon as she got her period, she knew she had a miscarriage. She sat in her room, depressed until Mohan convinced her to take a ride with him on the moped to Malibu.

Now she knew the same thing was happening with Devi. Nalini was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the paramedics saying they had arrived.

Once they were in the hospital, the paramedics wheeled her into an empty exam room and changed her into a hospital gown. A nurse came in and took her blood pressure.

“Her blood pressure is low, you said she’s pregnant, right?”

“Yes.”

 “Okay a doctor will be in shortly to examine her.” The nurse left leaving the two women alone.

“Mom?” Devi woke up, all confused.

“How are you feeling, Devi?”

“What happened? I feel exhausted and the last thing I remember was fighting with Rhyah. I think I am bleeding too. Down there.” Devi said, her breathing was raspy.

“You had a panic attack and you passed out. Pati and Kamala should be on their way. I asked Pati to pick up some clothes from home. I will tell you everything later. Right now, just slow down and relax, okay?” Nalini said as she kissed her forehead.

Devi nodded her head as Kamala came in. “Devi!” Kamala said as she kissed her cheek. “I was so worried about you. What happened? I just got the text saying it was an emergency.”

“Rhyah was yelling at her accusing her of lying, then she got another panic attack and passed out.” Nalini sounded angry.

Just then a doctor came in. “Hi, I am Dr. Meyers, and I am going to take a quick look to see what’s going on. Can you tell me what happened?”

“My daughter had a panic attack then she passed out and there was blood down there. She is also pregnant.” Nalini said quickly.

“Okay I am going to listen to your heart then do an exam. Do you want your mom and sister to stay with you?”

“Yes please.” Devi was so disoriented that she didn’t have the energy to tell the doctor Kamala was her cousin and not her sister.

Devi tried taking deep breaths as the doctor listened to her heart rate, but it wasn’t easy because her chest was hurting. The doctor then put some gloves on and lifted her legs onto the stirrups. Devi stared at the ceiling trying to relax and think about good things. Nalini was stroking her face while Kamala held her hand. The exam felt awkward but better than her last doctor’s appointment. After a few minutes, Devi felt her legs being put back down and the doctor removing her gloves.

“What’s happening?” Devi asked.

“Unfortunately, you had a miscarriage. It happens a lot with young people. Dr. Vishwakumar, can I speak to you in private?” Nalini nodded as they left the room.

Devi felt guilty, she wasn’t ready to be a mom, but it was hard for her to focus on caring for herself. Her virginity was taken away from her unexpectedly. She knew she should feel upset her baby was dead but at the same time she didn’t want a kid in the first place. She didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Kamala then distracted her. “I’m here for you Devi.” She said, wrapping her arms around her.

“It’s bad enough Rhyah hates me and now the entire school knows about what happened.”

“Devi, Rhyah is a bitch. Don’t listen to her, okay? She is not the one who was raped. She shouldn’t have blamed it on you. Everyone at school doesn’t know either.”

“These panic attacks come whenever Des does something, I get a nightmare, or someone blames me for it. I just want to be normal again.” Devi was shaking now.

“These are things you cannot control. You are a normal person.” Kamala reassured her.

“What about Aneesa? I thought she would understand everything I went through, being Indian and all that. Did Mr. Kulkarni tell you anything? He must have heard all the school gossip.”

“He asked me about it just to make sure you were okay. I didn’t give him too many details. If Aneesa really cares, she will make it up with you. Otherwise screw her.”

“How do you know when you were ready for sex? I wanted to lose my virginity to Paxton but instead Des took it away from me.”

“You will know when the feeling is right. The most important thing is you are not feeling pressured. What happened to you was not your fault. But sex is a big deal. You don’t want to rush into it.”

Pati then came in bringing a change of clothes and hugged Devi tightly.

In the hallway, the doctor and Nalini were talking as Nalini was filling out the paperwork.

“Fainting is usually caused by stress. Did she experience a stressful event? I know you told me she was sexually assaulted.”

“My friend was over accusing my daughter of lying. But can stress cause a miscarriage?” Nalini put her head in her hands.

“Stress itself won’t cause a miscarriage. However, between the combination of panic attacks, weight loss, and fatigue the baby hasn’t been able to develop properly. I get that you are having all sorts of feelings right now, but you need to be careful what you say around your daughter. Her heart rate was a little high when she came in. If her panic attacks get severe, she may end up back in the hospital for heart troubles. Does anyone in your family have heart issues?”

“Devi’s father passed away a year and a half ago from a heart attack. But it was so sudden.”

“I know she’s young, but you might want to consider seeing a cardiologist. It doesn’t have to be now, but sometime in the next year or two.”

“Okay thank you. I will keep an eye on her. When can she go home?”

“The tissue is all expelled, so she can go home right away. I would suggest she takes it easy for a few days. It will take some time for her body to recover completely. It will be common to have mild cramping, spotting up to four weeks, fatigue, frequent urination, and dizziness. Bring her to the doctor if she is having foul smell in the vaginal area, fever, and/or severe abdominal pain.”

Nalini walked back into the room and then started talking. “Devi, we can go home.” Devi breathed in relief. Pati and Kamala stepped out so she could get dressed. Devi was feeling tired, so she reluctantly allowed her mother to help her, not caring that her mother was seeing her naked.

Kamala drove Devi and Nalini home that night while Pati followed behind. Devi was silent and exhausted during the whole ride. Once they were home, Devi was walking slowly to her room ready to sleep when her mom stopped her.

“How about you sleep in my room tonight?” Devi was surprised at the request but then nodded her head. Once she got to her mom’s room, she collapsed on the bed. Her mom joined her later wrapping her arms around her, tears falling down her cheeks silently. She didn’t want to let go of her baby girl.

Chapter Text

Chapter 33

The next morning, Nalini and Nirmala were talking about what happened to Nalini.

“I feel guilty, okay? I don’t want to be like my parents who just let him get away with it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Nalu?”

“I wasn’t sure what you would think of me. I didn’t want it to be a stain on our family.”

“This isn’t your fault. Just like what happened with Devi wasn’t her fault.”

“I know, I just didn’t think you would support me.”

“Keeping stuff hidden doesn’t make it go away. I am not ashamed of Devi here.”

“Devi’s your granddaughter. I’m just your daughter-in-law.” Nalini sighed.

“When you married my son, you became my daughter. You are just as much a part of the family as Devi and Mohan are. I couldn’t imagine letting it go if something like this happened to Mohan, let alone if he did something like this.” Nirmala said, hugging Nalini then continued talking. “Have you told anyone about this?”

“I told Mohan a few years after we got married. It took a lot of me to tell him. I guess that’s why I am so paranoid about Devi. Especially when it comes to dating.”

“Mohan told me about the time you were so afraid to allow him to bathe or change Devi. Was it because of what happened to you? He never told me.”

Nalini nodded her head reluctantly. “I had a nightmare that I was molested, and Devi was just a baby. Since it happened from someone I knew, I was so scared that Mohan would do something to her even if he was her father. I am her mother, the one person who can protect her. When he started questioning me, I told him the truth about what happened. I felt relieved when he supported me. He said he would never let anything get in the way of protecting me and Devi. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else yet, so he agreed to keep it a secret.”

“How would you feel if Devi waited until she was your age to tell you?”

Nalini shook her head. “It would’ve broken my heart because her childhood would have been shattered. The fact that Rhyah wants me to not get the police involved is making things worse.”

Nirmala took Nalini’s hand in hers. “Exactly. Rhyah is just looking for a way to protect her son. Just be the best mother you can for Devi. That’s all she needs. I’m here if you want to talk about what happened to you.” Just then Kamala came downstairs.

“Hey sorry I am just going to eat something then I need to head to work. I can come by this evening if you want.”

“Actually Kamala, if you have a few minutes we would like to talk to you.” Kamala looked confused as her aunt said that but sat down.

“Look, I had no idea what was going on these past few weeks.”

“Kamala, no one is to blame but Des. But after what happened to Devi, we have been too oblivious to who is good enough for our family. Therefore, when you were with Prashant, did he ever make you feel uncomfortable?” Nalini asked carefully.

“No, the only thing I didn’t like was his advice to me about my work. He also got angry when I said I wasn’t ready to get married. That’s why we didn’t move forward with the relationship.”

“I’m sorry, kanna. I wish you could have told us.” Pati said.

“I told Devi because I wanted her advice on what I should do. She never lets anyone get in the way of what she wants. It broke my heart that she couldn’t tell me what happened to her.”

“Look Kamala, you have been supportive. But don’t push her to talk about it. This is going to be a long road for all of us. The best thing we can do is let her come to us. Is Manish pressuring you or anything?” Nalini said.

Kamala shook her head. “Not at all. Manish is charming, employed, Indian, and most importantly he gets me. He asked me about Devi because he was worried about her recent behavior and knew we were close. I didn’t give him too much detail, but he heard what happened from all the school gossip, so he wanted to make sure she was okay. Overall, he makes me happy.”

Pati spoke up. “I’m glad to hear that. I was wrong about him especially since he was trying to protect her. That’s what family does. We all need to have dinner with him sometime.”

“If someone like this ever happens to you, you can talk to us.” Nalini added.

Kamala smiled. “Thank you. I should get going.”

Soon after Kamala left, they heard a knock at the door. Nirmala opened it and Rhyah walked in.

“Rhyah, why are you here? If Des is with you, I’m calling the cops.” Nalini was firm as she said that.

“He’s at home. We should talk. Yesterday was a misunderstanding.”

“You accused my daughter of lying, then insulted her and slut shamed her. Then she had a panic attack and passed out. I had to take her to the ER. How dare you talk to my daughter like that.” Nalini was getting angry.

“Look, I’m sorry that was not my intention. I just don’t want the police to find out about this. Nal, think about your family. I don’t want your reputation to be ruined. Don’t you want your daughter to marry a respectable man one day?”

“Our lives were already ruined from the day your son assaulted her and got her pregnant. I trusted him, I thought he was a smart Indian guy but now this is not the case. I should have never let him come over.” Nalini screamed.

“My son is too young to go to jail and be dealing with all this.”

“My daughter is too young to be pregnant, let alone having sex.”

“Both of you just calm down.” Nirmala said trying to interfere.

“They’re just kids, they will get over it.” Rhyah ignored Nirmala as she said that.

“You think it is okay to let this go because they are kids? Your son is 18, he should know better. My daughter has been having to deal with the effects while your son is currently getting away with this. If we don’t report this, he is going to do this to other girls.”

“How dare you talk about my son like that! Your daughter has enough problems, how do you know she isn’t lying.” Rhyah got defensive.

“I know my daughter and she is NOT lying. She does not have problems, she has been through so much. She has been in therapy for the past year and a half. Your son should be institutionalized. People like you allow these rapists to run free!” Nalini was shouting right now.

“I have been a friend to you and yet you are accusing my son of sexual assault.” Rhyah hissed.

“You don’t think of me as your friend. You think of me as your project. Like you say you want to help me but now all you care about is your reputation.”

“If that’s how you feel then I guess I will take someone else to the Making Memories Festival.”

“Fine. Now get out of here. I am warning you right now. If you or your son show up at my house or come near Devi, I will call the cops.” Nalini threatened. Rhyah scoffed and then left. Nalini took a few minutes to cool off before noticing Devi.

Devi stood at the top of the stairs listening to the whole conversation. She was about to come down, but she didn’t want to walk in on the middle of them fighting. She was scared her mom and grandma would suddenly start blaming her for what happened. Before she could go back upstairs, Nalini noticed her.

“Devi. Come downstairs.” Her mom said looking all concerned. She slowly walked down the stairs and didn’t say anything. Once Devi got on the couch, Nalini made her way over and sat next to her.

“How are you feeling? Last night a lot happened, I get it.” Nalini touched her arm in a comforting way.

“I knew this would happen. Rhyah ostracizing me and friendships being destroyed.” Devi said glumly.

“Rhyah deserved it. Think about it. Do you really want him to do this to other girls? Because that is what will happen if we keep quiet about this.” Nalini stroked her hair as she said that.

“I didn’t think about that. But you said Rhyah was upset at her son then she came blaming me for it. I was scared you and Pati would think the same way at some point. Some of my nightmares at the beginning involved the people I am close to disowning me. I know you were supportive, but how do I know it’s not just a one-time thing? I mean, I screwed up before.” Devi turned her head as she said that.

“You don’t but we would never blame you for being attacked. We are family and family always protect each other. Your father would never let anything get in the way of protecting you.” Pati came in joining the two women.

“Look enough worrying about what people will think. I wouldn’t be a responsible parent if I did not protect you. Physically though, how are you feeling? Any pain or soreness down there?” Nalini asked carefully, as she didn’t want to make things awkward for her daughter.

“No. My body is just stiff, and I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep. That’s why I came downstairs. So, I could rest while watching some Netflix or just reading a book.”

“The doctor said your body went through a lot, so you really need to take it easy the next few days. If you are having cramps, I can get you a heating pad or you can take some Advil. You can go to school on Monday if you are feeling better. But don’t rush yourself. The doctor said your heart rate was a little high. If you don’t slow down, there is a chance you will end up in the hospital with heart problems. I don’t want you to end up like your father. Are you taking your anti-anxiety medications?”

“Yes, they are helping. The panic attacks have been reduced and it’s been a little easier to sleep. At least I don’t have to worry about being pregnant anymore.” Devi felt relieved as she said that.

“Okay. I need your phone because I am going down to the police station to show the detective the text. Hopefully, he can track down the number it was sent from. Do you have it with you?”

“I think it’s in my room next to my bed. I would get it right now, but I am kind of weak from last night.”

“That’s okay. I can go get it. Take rest, kanna. Pati will be here if you need anything. If you feel worse later, let me know. I don’t want your health to get worse.” Nalini kissed her head then went upstairs to get her phone.

Pati chimed in. “Devi are you hungry? I can make you some poha.”

“Um, not really. Maybe in an hour, I can eat something.”

“Okay but try to eat something.” Devi laid down on the couch lost in her thoughts. Even though she had people supporting her, she didn’t feel like the strong girl she used to be. She was so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep for the rest of her life. Could she recover from this? Or would she be a weak little girl?

She didn’t realize it when she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Pati was worried Devi hadn’t said anything but saw her asleep, so she pulled the blanket over her.

Chapter Text

Chapter 34

Nalini sat in front of the detective at the police station and updated him on recent events, including the message from an unknown number.

“So, based on this recent text from a different number, Des has an accomplice. I want to get to the bottom of this because if this number gets blocked, then the same guy may try to text her from a different number. We thought blocking Des’ number was sufficient, but now she is still getting threats. I would have taken Devi with me, but she has been exhausted from last night, so I told her to take it easy.”

“No worries. Give a few minutes to track down this number.” Nalini nodded her head as the detective did his work.

After a few minutes, the detective spoke up. “So, I tracked down this number and it is in Los Angeles to a kid named Parker Simmons. Do you know him? Apparently, he was on the list of people Devi mentioned who were at the party.”

Nalini shook her head. “Not that I know of, I will have to ask Devi. Will you be charging him?”

“Not until we get his statement, and I would also like to talk to Devi once she is feeling better. If he gets charged, the penalty will be up to a year in prison.”

“What do you mean Devi’s side of the story? She felt scared when she got the text.”

“I want to ask if Parker was hurting her or threatening her prior to receiving that text. That way we can determine whether he was an accomplice.”

“What do I do in the meantime? Des’ number is blocked from her phone, but she is afraid of getting a text from a different number.”

“Keep checking up on your daughter. Try keeping her phone in a visible area. You can also change her phone number. I get this is hard for you. If I had a daughter, I would be up all night trying to get justice.”

“Okay thank you detective. It’s just when Devi’s father passed away a year and a half ago, I thought that was the worst. Now, this happened.”

“I am so sorry to hear that. This must have been a struggle for you.”

“Thank you. She and her father were like two peas in a pod. Had he still been here, she would have told him immediately.”

“I can’t imagine losing a parent at that age. I lost my father ten years ago, and that was me in my forties. It hit me pretty hard.”

“Yeah, these past couple of years have been a roller coaster. You know what? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to drag this on you. I know you have to question everyone so I will see myself out.”

“No problem. Don’t hesitate to contact me if she receives any more death threats.” The detective and Nalini walked out and saw the teenagers handing over their phones and signing statements, ready to be questioned. Once Nalini left, the detective started calling the kids one by one for questioning.

“Eleanor Wong.” Eleanor came into the office and sat down. The detective then started talking.

“So, you and Devi are friends, right?”

“Yes, we have been best friends since kindergarten.”

“Did you and Devi have plans to meet up?”

“We all met up at Trent’s before the party. The plan was for all of us to meet up before we left. But during the party Devi rushed out early, her eyes were puffy. I tried calling out to her, but I don’t think she heard me. I texted her and eventually, she replied saying she left early because she was tired.”

“How was she during the party? Did you notice her acting weird?”

“Prior to the party, she mentioned she got into a fight with her boyfriend. I didn’t see her much during the party because I was with my boyfriend. Like I said, when she left, she was crying.”

“Do you think she wanted to have sex with Nirdesh?”

“No, she wasn’t into him. Des was the last thing on her mind.” The detective jotted down a few notes.

“Okay, you may go.” Eleanor left then the detective called Fabiola. Fabiola followed the detective into the question room. Once they both sat down, the detective started talking.

“So, Fabiola, tell me what happened in your opinion.”

“Me and Devi met up at Trent’s house beforehand with our other friends. We had plans to leave together, but obviously that changed when she left early. During the party, I was busy proving to another guy who was smarter by playing a drinking game. We did ask Devi for her opinion about something, but after that she excused herself to find a bathroom. I didn’t see her for the rest of the night, so I texted her. She replied late saying she left early.”

“Did you see her have any encounter with Nirdesh?”

“No.”

“Do you think she wanted to have sex with Nirdesh?”

“No, she said she wasn’t into Des.”

Fabiola was dismissed, Parker was next.

“Mr. Simmons, you and Nirdesh are friends, right?”

“Yeah, we have been best friends since we were eight.”

“Did you see any encounter between Nirdesh and Devi?”

“I didn’t physically see anything, but I was upstairs, and saw Des come out of a spare bedroom. He was laughing. A few minutes later, I thought I ran into Devi who was crying but she ignored me. When I found out you wanted to question me, I asked him about it at school and he lied to me saying he was trying to comfort her. His behavior has been kind of sketchy recently. I don’t know the whole truth of what happened until I was asked to come here.”

“So, you had no idea he was sending death threats or doing something like this?”

“No, of course not.”

“Really? Because we have your phone and it shows you send a death text to Devi, which you later deleted.”

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t have Devi’s number.” Parker was confused. He hardly ever interacted with Devi.

“If we find out later that you have been an accomplice, then the punishment for you will be up to a year in prison. So, I am giving you a chance to tell the truth here.” The detective was stern about it.

“I swear I haven’t threatened Devi in any way. I had no idea something even happened between them. Wait, when was the text sent?”

“Yesterday, at around 12:05 PM.” The detective showed the data taken from this phone. Devi Vishwakumar, you pregnant slut. You may be free, but I am coming to get you. Then you will be dead before you know it.

Parker was surprised once he saw the text sent. He thought for a moment.

“I left my phone on the table during lunch to grab something. Des was there. The only explanation I can think of is that he used my phone to text her.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because his mom took his phone away. He got angry when I told him I wasn’t going to lie to you. I should tell Devi this.”

“You are not to go anywhere near Devi until this is sorted out. In fact, if I find out you have been at their house, I will have you arrested. Do you understand?” Parker nodded his head.

“Okay you may go. I need to get Devi’s statement, so if I find out you lied, you know what happens. And I suggest changing your passcode on your phone.” Parker angrily walked out and found his friend Addison with their other friends.

“Hey Addy, just a warning. Do not give Des your phone. Apparently, he sent a death threat off my phone to Devi.”

“You’re joking! This is exactly why I am avoiding him.” They scoffed and changed their password quickly.

“I wish I were joking. The detective threatened to arrest me.”

Just then the detective came out.

“Addison Wang.” Addison followed the detective into his office then started talking.

“So, you and Nirdesh are good friends, right?”

“Not anymore. I have been avoiding him with everything going on.”

“Did you see any interaction between Devi and Nirdesh at the party?”

“I saw him touch her arm when I was getting a drink. Then later when she came out of the room crying, I tried to talk to her, but she left quickly.”

“But you know something happened right?”

“I’m dating her best friend, so yeah. My girlfriend told me what Devi told her. I didn’t see anything though.”

“Did she seem scared when he touched her arm?”

“I couldn’t see her face, but she left quickly.”

“Okay you are dismissed.” Addison left.

“Paxton Hall-Yoshida.” Paxton followed the detective into the questioning room.

“So you are Devi’s boyfriend right?” The detective asked him.

“Yes.”

“Okay did you two hang out at the party?”

“No, we had gotten into a fight that day. I hardly saw her throughout the party. I even texted her asking if she made it home safely. I know something happened that night because I had to pull Des off her in the school when he was touching her.”

“Nirdesh told me you punched him. Why is that?”

“I saw him touching my girlfriend even though she said no, and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be near her. I did it in her defense.” Paxton angrily said.

“Can you tell me more about what you saw when Nirdesh was touching Devi?”

“There was a debate tournament at Sherman Oaks and Des’ school was competing there. I was at school because I was helping my best friend and his girlfriend with something. When I went to find her, I heard her telling Des to get off, but she wasn’t strong enough. I saw his hand on her chest over her bra. So, I went and pulled him off her, punched him, and then yelled at him about touching her. Once he disappeared, I gently walked with Devi to my car and took her home. Then she told me everything that happened at the party.”

“Do you think she wanted to have sex with Nirdesh? You guys got into a fight beforehand.”

Paxton shook his head. “She was scared the past few weeks anytime one of us talked about him.”

“Okay this is all good. This is the key to an arrest. But we need proof that forced intercourse happened for the case to be stronger.”

“What do you mean? I told you I witnessed something. Doesn’t that count?” Paxton was getting angry.

“You witnessed him groping your girlfriend. It’s good that you told us. We will have him on charge for sexual battery and statutory rape. But for him to be in jail longer, we need more evidence that intercourse occurred.”

“Okay sounds good.”

“You may leave now. But I suggest, Mr. Hall Yoshida, that you keep your hands off Mr. Pillai’s. If any more violence happens between you too, you could end up in legal trouble too.” Paxton nodded his head and left.

“Aneesa Quereshi.” Aneesa got up and angrily followed the detective.

“So, you and Devi are friends, right?”

“I guess.” Aneesa shrugged her shoulders.

“What happened at the night of the party?”

“I was interested in Des, but he kept saying he was into Devi, and he wanted to get her no matter what.”

“Did you see anything happening between them?”

“No.”

“What about you and Devi? Did you talk to each other that night?”

“We met up with our other friends beforehand. We were supposed to leave together, but obviously, she chose to ditch us. Especially when she was covering for me. I hardly saw her throughout the night.”

“Do you think she wanted to have sex with Nirdesh?”

Aneesa scoffed. “Probably, she cheated on Paxton before what are the odds, she is going to do it again.”

“Aneesa, Devi’s your friend. She was hurt that night. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“She may be my friend but all she cares about is hurting people. Me, Ben Gross, and now her baby. Now she is probably trying to ruin Des’s reputation.” The detective put a hand to his head as he was getting nowhere.

“Okay you may be dismissed.” Aneesa angrily walked out.

“Benjamin Gross.” Ben followed the detective into his office. Soon the detective started talking.

“So how well do you know Devi?”

“She’s been my academic rival since kindergarten.”

“What happened in your opinion at the party?”

“Me and Devi’s friend Fabiola were playing a drinking game to see who was smarter. We briefly saw Devi and talked to her because we needed her opinion on something. Then she disappeared for the rest of the night.”

“So, you didn’t see any encounter between them?”

Ben shook his head. “I hadn’t seen her, so I texted her asking if she was okay. She ignored my text then when I saw her at school that Monday, she told me she had a lot going on.”

“When you guys dated, she cheated on you right?”

“What does that have to do with anything – “ Ben was interrupted by the detective.

“Just answer the question.”

“Yes.”

“How do you know she didn’t cheat on her boyfriend this time? They got into a fight before the assault happened.”

“She’s been upset since the party. Her life changed. It seemed like she was about to cry anytime someone asked what was wrong. Plus, I know she’s madly in love with Paxton.” Ben was dismissed.

Next up was Shira Aarons. “So do you know Devi Vishwakumar?”

“She’s a girl at my school. Every time I talk to her though she kind of has a temper.” Shira said, flipping her hair.

“Okay did you see any interaction between Devi and Nirdesh?”

“No, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had sex. This is the same girl that dated Paxton and my ex at the same time. She’s crazy Devi. What are the odds she will do it again?”

“Did you see Nirdesh at the party? If yes, did he seem troubling?” The detective showed a picture to Shira.

“Maybe I saw him once. I hardly know him though.”

“Okay you’re dismissed.” Shira left flipping her hair.

“Trent Harrison.” The detective called. Trent followed the detective into his office.

“So, you were the one hosting this party, correct?”

“Yeah, it was my 18^th birthday. I didn’t think something like this would happen.”

“How much do you know from that night?”

“I was drunk, so I don’t remember. But I was playing beer pong with my best friend and some of the other guys. I was also with my girlfriend for most of the night.”

“Did you specifically invite Nirdesh to this party?”

“No, it was an open invite. Some of my friends knew some of his private school friends.”

“How did Nirdesh seem? Intoxicated?”

“I hardly saw him throughout the party. The only reason I know something happened is from what my girlfriend told me.”

“How well do you know Devi?”

“My girlfriend is her best friend, and she is dating my best friend. So we have been friends for a few months.”

“How did Devi seem at the party?”

“I didn’t see her much; I was with my girlfriend. I know she got into a fight with Paxton because he is my best friend. My girlfriend said she saw her leave with her eyes puffy and was trying to reach her.”

“Okay, the police may obtain a warrant to search your house since the assault happened there.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Unless you are hiding something, no. Devi said this happened in one of your spare bedrooms, so we want to check if there is any evidence that something happened. Otherwise, you are dismissed.” Trent walked out of the room.

The next person was Zoey Maytag. The detective turned the camera on then started talking.

“So how well do you know Devi?”

“We go to the same school. I used to hook up with her boyfriend.” Zoey said, twirling her hair.

“Did you see any interaction between Nirdesh and Devi?” The detective showed a picture of Des.

“No, I was with Shira, Paxton, Trent, and Marcus. We played beer pong. I was also comforting Paxton because he and Devi got into a fight.”

“Do you think Devi wanted to have sex with Nirdesh?”

“Probably, she is crazy Devi. She cheated on Paxton once, so she would probably do it again. Especially since they got into a fight.”

“Okay you may go.” Zoey left happily.

The detective spent the rest of the day questioning everyone else and was exhausted. He was going to wait until tomorrow to talk to the Vishwakumars to update them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 35

Nalini got home later that day to see Devi sitting on the couch watching Netflix. She still looked tired, but Nalini was glad that she was taking it easy.

Once Devi noticed her, she paused the show she was watching. “Hey mom what’s going on?”

Her mom sat next to her before she started talking. “Do you know a kid named Parker Simmons?”

Devi nodded her head. “He’s one of Des’ friends but I have barely talked to him.”

“The detective tracked the text, and it was from his cellphone number. He is going to question both of you, but I want to hear from your end. Did Parker threaten you in any way?”

“No.”

“Did he ever talk to you about what happened?”

“No. But if Des doesn’t have his phone, then he may have asked Parker to borrow his phone.”

“Well, the police are investigating this. The detective may come over after he is done questioning everyone to get your statement. If you are not feeling well, then we can talk to him later.”

“What if Des hires people to continue sending all these threatening texts? I know the police said Des is being punished somehow, but he may have a whole team out there picking up his work.”

“If you get any more texts, we will contact the detective so he can put a stop to it. That’s why he is questioning everyone at the party.”

“I’m worried he’s gonna get away with it. The thought of him being out there scares me. I freeze up any time I see him.” Devi was shaking now. Nalini saw her hesitance and put an arm around her shoulder.

“He is not going to get away with it, okay? Based on the evidence the police have so far, he is going to be doing some time. I meant what I said to Rhyah about calling the cops. Keep your window closed and locked. That way no one can sneak in. And take your anti-anxiety medications. That will help mitigate the panic attacks.” Nalini gave her phone then changed the subject. “Are you feeling any better? Your grandmother texted saying you fell asleep.” Nalini put a hand to her forehead checking for a fever.

“I’m not sick but I am just tired.”

“Any cramps?” Devi shook her head.

“What about spotting? The doctor said it’s normal to experience some spotting.”

“A little. Are you mad at me for losing my baby? I wanted to not be pregnant anymore but now it’s hitting me that I had a kid in me. You were also lecturing me about taking care of myself.”

“Of course not. Do you think your father was mad at me when I had a miscarriage? He comforted me and told me that you were all we needed. The doctor was saying miscarriage is sometimes unavoidable, especially with teenagers. You have also been through a lot. Everyone deals with it differently. Look, you will understand the fear when you are older and have a kid of your own. That’s why I am hard on you about your life and health.”

“Thanks mom. I am going to take a shower.” Devi tried getting up, but the fatigue was still hitting her.

“Do you need help in the shower?”

“I don’t want you to see me naked, mom. I’m not a little kid. It was already bad enough when Kamala had to help me because I was in a wheelchair.”

“I gave birth to you; I have seen you naked plenty of times. You are not a little kid just because you need help. Or if you are still tired you can wait until later.” Nalini reassured her but at the same time didn’t want to make her uncomfortable given everything she had been through.

“Mom, I feel gross especially since I was bleeding last night. If I don’t shower now, I am probably going to stink up the house.”

“How about you take a bath in my bathroom? That way you can relax and feel clean.” Devi smiled at the idea because she hadn’t had a bath since she was little. “That works.” Her mom helped her upstairs and then went to start the bath.

Meanwhile, Des was in his room, bored. He had finished all his schoolwork because that was the only thing distracting him from this whole mess. His mom wouldn’t let him leave the house, which sucked because he wanted some fresh air. She hadn’t even spoken to him and neither had his grandmother. He hated everyone right now because of what was happening. Most of his friends stopped talking to him once word got around.

Devi Vishwakumar got to keep her boyfriend after she had sex with him. The worse part was, Paxton punched him in the face when he found out instead of dumping her. Now that the police knew, he was going to be in jail.

He already tried threatening Devi, but no one said he couldn’t go after Paxton. He suddenly remembered his bedroom window. Slowly he opened his bedroom window, climbed down from the house and started walking without anyone seeing him. But first, he wanted to talk to Parker since he would have been back from the station. As of yesterday, he was the only friend talking to him.

As soon as he reached his house, he knocked on the door. Parker came out looking angry. “What do you want?”

“Look man, I snuck out. You said it yourself; I am hardly around anymore. Why don’t we hang out?”

“I am in deep shit because you used my phone to text Devi. The detective threatened to arrest me.” Parker shouted.

Des got angry as he said that. “You can’t prove that.”

“Yes, I can. I trusted you with my phone and you used it to your advantage just because yours was taken away. You also deleted the text; I never delete my texts.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. You just don’t want to be arrested.”

“I am not the one that committed a crime here!”

“Oh really! Everybody acts like I should be in jail just because we had sex. I thought we were friends here.”

“As your friend, I am telling you your behavior has been sketchy. You know what, go home Des. I can’t deal with you right now.” Just then Parker’s father came out and heard the whole conversation. “What is going on here?” His father was shocked when he saw Des.

“Get out of my house or I’m calling the police!” Des reluctantly walked away because he didn’t want to end up in jail. Great. Now he had no friends. He thought about going home but he wanted revenge on Paxton. The only thing is, he didn’t have Paxton’s number or address.

Des walked to a nearby park and saw a brunette girl that looked familiar. He then realized they had sex on the cruise ship. “Maddy! Hey!” He walked over as she gave a confused look.

“Can I help you?”

“I remember you on the cruise. We had so much fun having sex.”

“No, you drugged and raped me. I was all passed out.” Maddy started walking away but Des grabbed her.

“I didn’t rape you. We had fun. We should hang out sometime.” Des gripped her tighter and started touching her.

“No way! You can’t have everything you want. Let go of me!” Maddy was screaming. Just then someone yelled. “What’s going on?”

Shit, Des thought. He ran away from the park without anyone noticing and hid behind a tree. Once he was certain no one could see him he started walking back home. Until Aneesa saw him.

“Des? I thought you were on house arrest.” Des turned around and saw Aneesa.

“I snuck out through my bedroom window. My mom’s being a bitch. I don’t have my phone, laptop, and car keys anymore.”

“This is all Devi’s fault. She cheated on Paxton before, now she did it again and this time is involving the police.” Des was surprised to hear that.

“Wait she cheated on Paxton before?” Des was surprised to hear that.

“Last year, she dated Ben and Paxton at the same time. It didn’t last long. Then somehow at the winter dance Paxton forgave her then decided to be her boyfriend. Paxton has this weird addiction to her, because he would rather blame you than admit Devi cheated on him again.”

“I know right! Now my life is being ruined. That guy literally has no future while my goal is to go to Stanford. Everybody hates me all because I had sex with Devi.”

“Devi’s crazy. All she does is ruin people’s lives. I am in enough trouble because my parents did not know I was out that night. She was supposed to cover for me. I’m surprised her boyfriend is supporting her.”

“Do you have Paxton’s address? I need to talk to him because he punched me. He was the only other witness and if I blackmail him, he won’t support Devi.” Aneesa thought for a minute before answering.

“Depends. Go on a date with me. I have been into you since the party, and you have no one else to talk to.”

“Deal.” Both started walking hand in hand to the nearest frozen yogurt shop. Once they both got what they wanted, they sat down. Des started talking.

“So have you had a boyfriend before?”

Aneesa nodded. “Yeah. It was Ben Gross. We broke up around Valentine’s Day because he never respected me and the fact that I wasn’t that smart.” Aneesa hesitated to tell him she kissed Fabiola, his friend’s girlfriend.

“So, what made you date him?”

“He was my first friend when I transferred to Sherman Oaks. I should mention, I used to go to a private school.”

“No way! Which one?”

“Toluca Prep.”

“That all-girls school? I remember competing against your school in the debate tournament. What made you transfer? Sorry if that’s too personal.”

Aneesa laughed. “I was anorexic. Everyone knew so my parents transferred me to Sherman Oaks for a fresh start. Until Devi spread the rumor that I was anorexic. Then everyone started whispering around me. After she apologized, we remained good friends. But all she has done is hurt people and now she wants to kill her baby.”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah, she thought I was hooking up with Ben, so she told everyone I was anorexic.”

“Woah, that’s harsh.”

“I know right. Later she snuck back into school to give a genuine apology because she was suspended. But now she gets these insane ideas. She wants to kill her baby.”

“She can’t! Abortion is murder. She wanted to have sex so she should take responsibility.”

“You are the father of her kid; don’t you think you should have a say.”

“My mom threatened me that if I go near Devi, her mom will call the police. But it sucks she wants to kill my kid. Like come on, she’s killing a human being.”

“Devi’s a spoiled little brat. She doesn’t think before ruining people’s lives.” Aneesa retorted.

“From what I know, she was always daddy’s girl. Me, on the other hand, I would constantly fight with my father.” Des sighed. Both kissed before they heard a voice.

“Aneesa! What on earth is going on? You said you were going to Devi’s!” Both turned around to face Noor, Aneesa’s mother.

“Mom, we were just – “

“Save it, we are going home!” Noor turned to face Des. “And you, stay away from my daughter!” Noor dragged Aneesa out of the café before Des could say anything. It was getting late, so Des walked back home. He didn’t want to try sneaking back in when it was dark out. As soon as he climbed through his bedroom window, he heard a voice.

“Did you enjoy your day out?” Des got startled and faced his mother, who was looking furious.

Chapter Text

Chapter 36

Rhyah was faced with fury when she heard her son was at Parker’s.

“Mom, you don’t understand!” Des was angry.

“I thought I made it specifically clear you were on lockdown! Instead, Parker’s dad calls me and tells me you were arguing with his son.”

“I needed to talk to him. It was urgent.”

“No what is urgent is you complying with my orders. By the way, I got a call from the dean at Stanford. With everything going on, your application has been put on hold. You are putting your future at risk.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong! It’s Devi! She’s ruining my life!” Des threw his hands in the air.

“You don’t think what you did to Devi was wrong? I lost my friend because I was trying to save you from the police and your future! You also used Parker’s phone to send Devi another death threat! Are you trying to get him arrested?!”

“Oh my gosh! Parker doesn’t know what he is talking about!”

“First you hurt my best friend’s daughter, and now your best friend! What is wrong with you?”

“Devi wants to kill my kid! That’s what I heard. It isn’t right mom. I’m the father. She is overreacting.”

Rhyah wanted nothing more than to strangle her son because he didn’t understand the seriousness of what he did. “What Devi does is her own business, and you are in no position to raise a kid, especially with the way you have been acting.” Rhyah snapped.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m already going to jail because everyone is lying. She wanted it.”

“Enough. In addition to locking you in your room, I am hiring someone to put bars on your windows so you cannot escape.”

“You’re joking! You can’t kidnap me forever.” Des crossed his arms.

“Yes, I can, and I will. You are an adult who needs to take responsibility.” Rhyah stormed out, locking the door from the outside. Des was getting angrier. He hadn’t gotten close to figuring out how to threaten Paxton and the only person who was on his side got taken away from her mother. All of this was because of Devi Vishwakumar.

Des laid down on his bed and tried sleeping for some time. Once he woke up, his door opened, revealing his father.

“Nirdesh.” he said sternly.

“What do you want? You’re dead.” Des said, crossing his arms.

“I may be dead, but that’s no way to speak to your father. Your behavior has been outrageous, especially towards your mother.”

“She doesn’t get it. Neither do you.”

“Look son, I know what it’s like to love someone who isn’t going to love you back. But your mother and I trusted you to act appropriately around girls. Not to mention you got one pregnant!” His father angrily said.

“I did not rape Devi! Devi wanted it just as much as I did. Now she just wants to ruin my life by going to the police.”

“Your mother is doing you a favor so you can go to Stanford. She took a huge risk and lost one of her friends because you hurt her daughter. I warned her and Ammuma that something was wrong with you this past year and they refused to listen to me.”

“Maybe they are right. All you care about is punishing me.”

“If I were still there, I would drag you to the police myself. So, make things easier on all of us and tell the truth.”

“Never dad. Prison is going to suck. I can’t believe you would do this to me. Devi ruined my life.” Des stood his ground.

“No, you ruined her life. Your mother and I care about you. But we didn’t raise you to act this way. Especially around women. You gave up your rights when you forced that girl to have sex and carry your kid!”

“Fuck off dad. You don’t know what you are talking about.”

“LANGUAGE SON! I know what you did was wrong. For the sake of our community, you are going to comply with us.”

Des woke up all sweaty, realizing he talked to his dead father for the first time. But it was just a dream. He wasn’t going to let his father decide his fate. But time was running out. He needed to figure out a plan.

Meanwhile, Noor was angry as her daughter lied to her again. She started yelling at her daughter once they got home.

“What on earth are you thinking sneaking around with boys?”

“Mom, I am just trying to be a normal teenager. Last year was hard enough with my eating disorder! This guy is respected, he’s Indian -”

“This is the same boy that hurt your friend Devi and now you are going out with him. Are you insane? What if something happens to you too?”

“He didn’t hurt Devi; Devi chose to sleep with him! Devi’s crazy mom and now she is pregnant and trying to kill her baby! And now Devi is ruining his life!”

“Really? Because that is not what the police think. While I don’t like that you went to that party, I am angry that you didn’t look out for your best friend. I ran into her mom at the grocery store, and all she told me was that Devi hasn’t been herself for the past few weeks. I don’t know what is happening here, but keeping secrets is not going to help anyone. What Des did was wrong, and you are not being a good person by accusing Devi of lying. And shouting to the entire school about Devi! Devi’s personal life is not your business. I thought you knew better after what happened to you.”

“She cheated on her boyfriend before; what are the odds she will do it again? That slut is getting away with everything!” Aneesa crossed her arms as she said that.

“Language Aneesa! You know what, go to your room. You are grounded for the time being.” Aneesa stormed upstairs to her room. Noor then had an idea. She got Nalini’s phone number the last time she was at their house and wanted some answers.

Noor: Is it possible to talk in person? You told me Devi had been upset these past few weeks and I am worried about my daughter’s behavior towards her. I want to know if she told you anything.

Noor was not going to let Aneesa get away with this behavior. If something like this happened to her daughter, she wouldn’t want her daughter’s friends displaying such cruel behavior towards her.

Chapter Text

Chapter 37

Nalini got Noor’s text and invited her over the next morning. The last time Noor had been over it was because she was convinced to keep Aneesa at Sherman Oaks. Now she was nervous to face Noor.

Both women sat down before talking. “Noor, can I make you some coffee?”

“No thank you. I had some before coming here.”

“Okay so what’s on your mind?”

“I caught Aneesa with Des at a frozen yogurt shop yesterday. I don’t know all the details of what happened recently, but I know he is the same guy that hurt your daughter. I confronted Aneesa and she kept yelling that Devi was lying and some other stuff, but her behavior sounded cruel. The principal had called me on Friday after her outburst. I want the whole story of everything that happened. I didn’t even know about the party and how Devi was raped until the police showed up asking to talk to Aneesa.”

“Noor, I am not sure how comfortable I am disclosing my daughter’s personal life. This has been hard enough on her.”

“At least tell me about her and Aneesa. Aneesa is my daughter. I have a right to know if she is hurting others. It sounds like Aneesa has been bullying her.” Just then Devi appeared downstairs and stopped when she saw both moms talking.

Nalini started talking. “You’re up. How are you feeling?”

“Much better. I came to eat something then I got homework I got to do. What’s going on here?”

Nalini looked at Noor and then glanced back at Devi. “Can we talk to you?”

Devi was getting nervous. “About what?” Devi sat down at the table and waited for a lecture.

“Devi, did you and Aneesa get into a fight? Because she was saying some nasty things about you yesterday.” Noor asked, gently.

Devi reluctantly nodded. “We got into a fight last week then when I went to talk to her at school later, she was screaming that all I am trying to do is hurt people, including Des. I gave up on talking to her after. She is kind of right.”

“Look, you have been a good friend to Aneesa after you took responsibility for what you did. But what exactly did you get into a fight about? I need to know.” Noor asked.

Devi sighed. “When I told her what happened, she thought it was wrong that I was trying to get an abortion. I told her I didn’t want to have sex in the first place and being pregnant is a nightmare. Not to mention this was too much responsibility being pregnant. I tried talking to her a few days later. Then she screamed that all I was trying to do is hurt people in front of the entire school.” Devi stopped talking because she was afraid of tears falling. Nalini came and placed her arm around her.

“I’m sorry Devi. Honestly, when I heard what happened to you, I was scared something like this would happen to Aneesa. Then I saw her kissing Des yesterday, and it seems like she hasn’t learned her lesson.”

“Wait Des was out yesterday? I thought he was on lockdown. There is no way I can leave the house anymore.” Devi groaned then continued talking. “Look I am done talking to her. She clearly hates me unlike my other friends.”

Noor kept talking. “Nalini, you have his mom’s number, right? I want to call her so she can keep her son away from my daughter.”

“Sure, I can give it to you. I will warn you; Rhyah came accusing my daughter of lying.  I am not on speaking terms with her. Therefore, be careful what you say to her. She may refuse to listen to you.” Nalini gave Noor the number then she left.

Devi made herself some cereal and started eating. Her mom joined her then started talking. “How are you feeling?”

“Physically or mentally?”

“Both.”

“I don’t feel as fatigued anymore. But I am scared to leave the house after Noor Aunty said Des snuck out. At least I can go to school without worrying. I know the doctor said I should get some fresh air, but I am having second thoughts when going for a walk. Even though the nightmares haven’t stopped, they have reduced with the anti-anxiety meds. I wish I could just forget about it.”

“I am going to be honest, Devi. This isn’t something you can forget. However, as time passes, you will decide how to live with it. Do you think your father’s death was something you can forget?”

“Of course not, but that’s different. It’s a reminder that Dad, who I was close to, is gone and can never come back. This time I was physically hurt.” Nalini placed a hand on Devi’s hand.

“But it was still traumatic.” Devi nodded as the memories of her paralysis came back.

“The night.” Devi paused because she didn’t know how to phrase it. “The night I was raped, my legs froze on the bed. That was the only time that it happened since freshman year. But now, I get worried my legs might get paralyzed at a random point in time.”

“I can’t say what’s going to happen in terms of being paralyzed. Dr. Ryan can give you some tips on what to do. However, if you want to leave the house other than school, one of us can come with you. Or your friends or boyfriend can pick you up. That can put you at ease. But no matter what happens, I am always here.”

“Thanks mom. I am going to catch up on homework. I will be ready for school tomorrow.”

“We will see this evening. I am making the final decision on whether you go to school. Take it easy, okay? If you are feeling tired, it’s okay to take a break.” Devi rolled her eyes then went upstairs.

Rhyah was reading something when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to come face to face with the detective and a police officer. “I’m looking for Nirdesh Pillai.”

“Um sure I will go get him.” Rhyah unlocked her son’s bedroom door. Des was surprised but his mother took him by the arm downstairs. “Mom what’s going on?”

“The detective and police officer are here to see you.” Once they reached downstairs, they were surprised by the next instructions.

The detective spoke up. “Nirdesh, you are under the arrest for statutory rape and sexual battery of Devi Vishwakumar. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford one, one will be provided for you.”

“Hands behind your back.” The officer said as he handcuffed Des.

“Mom, do something!” Des was panicking.

“Des honey, we will get you an attorney! Do not say a word to the police.” Rhyah was yelling as Des got taken away by the police officers.

Meanwhile, Devi managed to work for a couple of hours in her room.

Next thing her mom was calling for her. Once she went downstairs, she saw the detective and police officer over.

“Devi. Are you feeling better?” the detective asked.

“Mostly. What’s going on?” Devi asked as she sat on the couch.

“So, I tracked down the number and it was from a kid named Parker Simmons. Do you know him?”

“He’s one of Des’s friends. I barely talk to him though.”

“Has he threatened you in any way?”

Devi shook her head. “Not at all. Did he say anything about me?”

“I talked to him, and he said he never sent that text let alone he doesn’t have your number. He is somehow convinced that Nirdesh took his phone and impersonated him. The conversation was deleted after it got sent so he didn’t know about it. He also noticed Nirdesh’s behavior has been sketchy this past year. Believe it or not, he thinks Nirdesh did something to you. I wanted to get your side before deciding whether to charge him.”

“For real? Maybe I should talk to him.”

Nalini then spoke up. “Devi is that really a good idea – “

“Mom! If I talk to Parker on my own and get his side, I can know whether he was an accomplice or not.” Devi pleaded.

The detective interrupted both women. “Look, you two can discuss that on your own. Now the other thing I wanted to discuss. Charges are currently at sexual battery and statutory rape thanks to the statement your boyfriend gave. But we still need evidence that you didn’t consent to intercourse for the case to be stronger.”

“That’s it? I don’t know how else to prove it. I am scared of leaving the house because he is still out there.” Devi was about to storm back upstairs to her room, but her mother stopped her.

“We are getting a warrant to search Mr. Harrison’s house to see if there is any evidence. There is no way we are giving up on this. Nirdesh is not going to get off scot-free. Based on what we have, he will be doing some time. At least we have something.”

Devi nodded her head. The detective and police officer left shortly after. Devi was about to go back upstairs but Nalini stopped her. “Do you really want to confront Parker? Des already did something to you, what if Parker does something to you?”

“He won’t Mom, the detective said it himself. Parker said Des’ behavior had been sketchy, and they stopped talking. I just want to see his side and whether Des has a gang of people. Parker and Des are close; he can easily tell me that. This is about me so I should have a say in this. Why can’t you understand?”

“Because I am your mother, and I am trying to protect you!” Nalini did not mean to raise her voice but at the same time, she was scared her daughter was going to make poor choices.

“Maybe I don’t need you to protect me!” Devi stormed up to her room and slammed the door shut. Just when she thought her mother understood they had to fight again. She hadn’t meant to yell at her mother, but she was sick of feeling like she wasn’t safe anymore.

She distracted herself by doing some SAT prep for two hours. When she was done, she pulled out the grief journal and started writing again.

Dear Dad,

You always told me I am safe around you and mom. Now that you are not here, I don’t know how to feel safe anymore. Ever since I was raped, I feel like I can’t live a normal life. I felt better telling mom, but I still feel anxious. Mom and I got into a fight because of that. I jump up every time I get a text. I have to take anti-anxiety medications now because of my panic attacks and nightmares. My dream was to go to Princeton, but I can’t concentrate anymore because I am tired. Can I even go to college?

Devi was about to keep writing more when her mother walked in.

“Mommy, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Devi felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Come here, kanna.” Nalini wrapped herself around Devi, rubbing her back. “I am your mother, and I am going to worry about you no matter what. Whether you hate me, you are tired of me, or whatever you feel, I am always going to help you. This means protecting you.” Nalini noticed Devi’s journal and went to look at it.

“Mom, I – “ Devi stopped when her mom read she wrote.

“You write to dad?”

“I miss him so much. This is my way of talking to him.”

“That’s okay. I miss him too. I can’t imagine how you have been feeling.” Nalini reassured her.

“I want to be my normal self again and I am sick of feeling I can’t leave this house. What if I’m never going to be strong enough? Deep down inside, some part of Des is going to come back at me.” Devi croaked.

Nalini felt the surge of anger hit her but went into sympathetic mode before talking. “Well, you have visitors, and they have something important to tell you. The information they have might make you feel better. Are you feeling up to seeing them?” Devi nodded her head as her mother continued talking. “Okay come downstairs then. They can be over only for a few minutes because I want you to rest.” Devi walked downstairs to find Eleanor, Trent, and Paxton. Devi went to kiss Paxton then started talking.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Devi asked as they all sat down.

Eleanor started talking. “How are you feeling? We wanted to give you some space because you said you were tired yesterday.”

“I just didn’t have any energy to move yesterday. Physically at least. I am not sick or anything. At least I am not pregnant anymore.”

“Babe, we are just worried. This was still your child even though there was no say when it was being conceived.” Paxton put his arm around her as he said that.

“Apparently Des was roaming around yesterday and now I am afraid to leave my house because I might run into him. He went on a date with Aneesa. The detective came over and said he will be doing some time. But there needs to be more evidence that I didn’t consent.” Devi shivered as she said that.

Trent spoke up. “Actually Devi, that’s why we are here. We need to tell you something important and since you didn’t want to leave the house we came over. I talked to my dad about what happened after I talked to the police, and he said some of the rooms in my house have surveillance cameras. If one of them caught something, we can take it to the police. Where did the assault happen?”

“In one of your spare bedrooms.” Devi said.

“I took pictures of my house. If you can tell me which room it was at, we can see if there is a security camera.” Trent pulled out his Ipad and started showing pictures. After Devi saw the bedroom where it happened, she nodded her head. “That’s the one. Wait is that a glass door?” Paxton had a furious look on his face.

Trent nodded his head. “Yeah, this bedroom has a door leading outside which means there is probably a camera. We can check it out and see if we find anything. Do you remember if anyone was outside that night?”

Devi shook her head. “I wish. I wasn’t paying attention though.”

“If anyone was there outside the police can question them, right babe?” Eleanor asked, facing Trent.

“Yes, I think so. But we should see first if the camera caught something.”

Eleanor spoke up. “But enough about that. Did Des really go on a date with Aneesa? After what he did to you?”

“Apparently. Her mom came over this morning and wanted to know what happened between us. She is furious at Aneesa for going out with the same guy that hurt me.”

“That’s insane of Aneesa to do. She is going to get hurt.” Paxton added.

“Anyway Devi, we are on your side. You helped my boy through school, so you are one of us now.” Trent said.

The four of them chatted for some more time until Devi’s mother kicked them out. Devi wanted to believe she would be getting justice, but she wasn’t sure anymore. The only thing she could do was pray.

Chapter Text

Chapter 38

Devi and Fabiola were on their way to AP English the next day. Devi was catching Fabiola up on some of the recent events. Somehow Devi and Ben got back to their normal routine in AP Physics.

“So are things good between you and Addison because of everything?”

Fabiola looked confused. “Yes. Why are you so worried?”

“They are Des’ friends I am not sure if things between you guys are weird.”

“Addison is avoiding Des because of the recent accusations. I told them about what he did to you, and they got angry. When I was at the police station, apparently Parker was warning Addison that Des used his phone to text you. Don’t worry about Addison. You are my best friend.”

“I know, it’s just I feel like nothing is normal anymore. I can’t leave my house without worrying whether I will run into him.”

“I am sorry you lost the baby.”

“Thanks Fab, but I am so glad to not be pregnant anymore. There is no way I was ready to be a mom.”

“The police questioned all of us over the weekend, are they going to charge Des?”

“Since Des is 18 and I am 16, they can charge him with statutory rape. Based on the statement Paxton gave, he will be doing some time. But the police need more evidence if he is going to be locked up for a long time.”

“At least your mom is doing something about him.”

“I thought the hardest part would be telling my mom and grandma. But now it’s the fact that I can’t live a normal life anymore. He went on a date with Aneesa Saturday.”

“Wait what?” Fabiola was surprised to hear that.

“Yeah, her mom came over yesterday and was talking to my mom. Apparently, Des snuck out of the house and Aneesa’s mom caught them both at a frozen yogurt shop, kissing. My mom said Des was on lockdown, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.”

“But how is Des on lockdown if he is not arrested yet?”

“His mom put him on lockdown. But somehow Rhyah came over Friday and started slut shaming me and accusing me of lying. After that I fainted and ended up in the ER. So now I feel like she is going to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“You should tell your mom.”

“My mom heard the whole conversation and the next day when Rhyah came over, she ended their friendship. Somehow, I think Aneesa is like Rhyah.”

“Aneesa didn’t want me to tell anyone this but by the way she has been acting I feel like I should tell you. We kissed a few months ago in the bathroom. It was right before Valentine’s Day.”

“Woah, Fab. Was there a vibe between you when it happened?”

“I think there was, but Aneesa said it was a mistake since I had just broken up with Eve. But I am glad I am not dating someone like her. She has been practically slut shaming you.”

“Thanks, Fab. At least you are happy with Addison, right?” Fab nodded then Mr. Kulkarni came in and started lecturing. During class, Devi tried to pay attention by taking notes, but she didn’t have the energy to talk. Even Mr. Kulkarni’s jokes didn’t seem to perk her up. She was secretly hoping she wasn’t in trouble when Mr. Kulkarni asked her to stay back after class.

“Umm, is everything okay? I know I missed a couple days of school, but I have been making up the work.”

“No, that’s not it. As a teacher, and as my girlfriend’s cousin, you are practically family. So, I am just checking in.”

“What did Kamala tell you?”

“Not much because she wasn’t sure how comfortable you would be disclosing what happened. I did ask her about it because I heard gossip from all the students around. How are you doing otherwise?”

“A little better, I mean my mom was willing to report it. I honestly thought my family would hate me if they found out.”

“Devi they are your family they wouldn’t hate you. Me, on the other hand, I am kind of an outlier.” Devi laughed as she heard that. 

“I just hope I can get my energy back soon.”

“Take your time Devi, I know you are one of my best students so you can do it.”

“Thanks Mr. K.” Mr. Kulkarni then gave her a pass to her next class. During the rest of the day, Devi tried her best to concentrate in her classes but felt exhausted. She somehow gained the energy to take notes and fight with Ben Gross for the answers. Maybe it was a bad idea to try to come back to school today. She should have taken her mom’s advice and stayed home. Even though things with her mom were good now, she didn’t want to hear those words “I told you so”.

After school, she had orchestra, but she skipped it. She decided to play her harp later to make up for not being there. Devi managed to survive getting home and making it upstairs before collapsing on her bed. She was so deep in her thoughts she didn’t hear Pati call her. Pati got worried when Devi didn’t answer but left her alone when she saw her sleeping. 

After some time, her door opened revealing a man. He had some of Des’ facial features but looked much older. Devi got scared and tried thinking of an escape plan.

“Relax Devi. I’m Des’ father. I am not going to hurt you.”

“Then what do you want?” Devi was trying to find some weapon to defend herself.

“I came to apologize for my wife and son. I knew something was wrong with my son this past year, but my family refused to listen to me. Now, look what happened to you. If this was me, I would have dragged him to the police myself.” Devi felt relaxed as he said that.

“Thank you. It’s hard for me to say this, but with everything that happened to me after, he deserves what he got. I can’t live my normal life currently.”

“You are a good person, Devi. My wife was wrong to treat you this way. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Suddenly her door opened, and her mother came in, waking Devi up.

“You okay, Devi? Your grandmother said you were asleep, so I wanted to check in.” Nalini sat on her bed, next to her.

“I don’t know. I felt fine in the morning, but I was exhausted during the day.” Devi sat up.

“You could have gone to the nurse Devi if you weren’t feeling well. No one would blame you if you took more time off. The doctor specifically said it will take a while before you feel your normal self. But how was school otherwise?”

“School wasn’t too bad. Ben and I have gone back to fighting for the valedictorian title. I skipped orchestra and came home. Hopefully, I can practice something on my harp to make up for the time I missed.”

“That’s good. It will be relaxing too. Maybe you can play at the spring concert. After your nap, are you feeling any better?”

Devi nodded. “A lot. It’s not like Saturday when my body was completely stiff. But what happens tomorrow if I go back to school, and the fatigue happens in the middle of the day? I want to be myself again so I can work hard to get into Princeton. I am already at risk of not getting in after I got suspended.” Devi shuddered.

“If you are not feeling well, go to the nurse and she will call me to pick you up. This could be a side effect of your medications. If you are feeling worse as time passes, I will take you to the doctor. As for Princeton, if you don’t get in, there are other colleges you can get into. Even though Princeton has been your dream school, it’s okay if you don’t end up going. I know I am hard on you about your future, but at this point, all that matters is you are okay. Your father and I are proud of you no matter what. If you are still worried, we can talk to the principal. But let’s see how you feel tomorrow morning. We can take things slow.” Nalini told her.

“Thanks mom. Umm, this might sound weird, but I met Des’ father in a dream.”

“By your expression, I am guessing this was a dream and not a nightmare.”

Devi nodded. “Yeah, he came to apologize saying if he was here, he would have dragged Des to the police himself. He was also saying something was wrong with Des, but his family refused to take it seriously and that Rhyah shouldn’t have treated me like that.”

“Wow, that was very nice of him. I can’t imagine what the father would be going through had he been here.”

“I’m surprised though. When I first saw him, I thought he was going to slut shame me as Rhyah Aunty did.”

“Rhyah Aunty is overprotective of her son and likes to brag about him. She is like one of those traditional Indian mother in laws. But don’t worry about what other people think. You have your family, friends, and boyfriend to support you. Why don’t you come downstairs? Pati made dinner.”

“Sounds good.” Nalini kissed Devi’s forehead then both headed downstairs. Devi felt physically better after eating and finishing her schoolwork. But there was one question that remained. Could Devi get back to her normal life?

Chapter Text

Chapter 39

Devi, Fabiola, and Eleanor were getting frozen yogurt after school a couple of days later. Devi’s fatigue had stopped so far and she was sleeping much better at night. Her mom checked on her occasionally but left once she saw she was okay. Usually, Nalini would not let Devi go out on a school day but since she was working hard and gone through so much, she decided to loosen up. 

“So, wait? You saw Des’ father in a dream?” Eleanor said.

“I know. Stunning, right? He apparently tried doing something about Des, but his family would not listen to him. Then he passed away.”

“I don’t buy that. You said his mom was angry at his son then she slut shamed you. What is to say his dad is not going to do the same thing in one of your dreams.” Fabiola was confused.

“Because his father said he would have dragged Des to the police himself. He also said his wife had no right to treat me that way. Plus, Rhyah never apologized to me. The night my mom found out, Rhyah said she was sorry about what he did but a few days later, she pressured my mom to not get the police involved.”

“Okay. I believe you. We just don’t want you to get hurt again.” Fabiola said.

“Thanks guys. My mom said the same thing when the detective told her what Parker said about impersonating me.” Just then Parker and some girl walked into the yogurt shop. Once he saw the girls, he walked over to them and started talking.

“Hey Devi? You have no idea how sorry I am for what Des did. His behavior has been kind of sketchy recently, but I didn’t know this happened until the police questioned me. You may not believe me, but I did not send that text, I swear. I never had your number and Des got angry when I told him I wasn’t going to lie to the police. When he sent that text, he deleted it right after, so I didn’t know anything about it until the detective was accusing me of harassment.”

Devi spoke up. “Thanks Parker. Once the police told me about what you said, I believe you. I wanted to talk to you myself to make sure Des doesn’t have a gang of people plotting their next move, but my mom was against it.” 

“I wanted to tell you the same thing, but the detective threatened to arrest me if I came near you. He came over yesterday and told me I was in the clear but is keeping a close eye on me. From what I know, no one wants to hang out with Des anymore, at least from our school. If by any chance he has a gang of people, they are probably from a different school.”

“Thank you for telling me this. I really appreciate it.”

“Hopefully Des gets locked up. I would have beaten him up had he done this to my girlfriend. Good luck with everything.”

“Thank you.” Parker walked away and went to his girlfriend. The girls sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Eleanor spoke up.

“Look Devi when I saw Des at the party he and Parker were arguing. Apparently, Des was laughing about something and then Parker confronted him saying he saw you crying. That’s when I got worried and started texting you. I saw you leave and tried calling for you, but you didn’t hear me.”

“Then that’s clear proof, right? Parker is not involved. The only thing is how to get more evidence something happened. I know Des will be doing some time, but after that, he is going to be free to do whatever he wants. I can’t just leave this to the police.” Just then a brunette girl came over to them. 

“Hi, I am sorry to eavesdrop but were you talking about a boy named Nirdesh Pillai? I knew him on the cruise ship last summer.”

Devi spoke up. “Yeah, how well did you know him?”

“I’m Maddy. He raped me too.” All three girls were surprised to hear that.

“Do you want to sit down? You can tell me what happened. If you are comfortable, of course.” Devi said.

“Yeah, that works.” Maddy sat down. Devi introduced herself and her friends then Maddy started talking.

“So last summer my parents were constantly fighting because of my alcoholic father so they sent me to the cruise ship for a change in environment. I met Des at a party we were both talking about our lives recently. He constantly fought with his father who passed away recently, and I told him about my home troubles. We were getting along just fine but with everything going on I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wasn’t going to drink that night because I didn’t want to end up like my father. He seemed to accept it but later he gave me some punch which I think was spiked. My memory was hazy, but I know he took me back to my room and raped me. I do remember him telling me I was such a tease, and saying I wanted to do it. I woke up the next day with a headache and my roommate was shaking her head like I was disgusting. I tried going to the doctor, but I couldn’t get a rape kit done because there wasn’t a trained professional on the cruise ship. The only thing I could do was an STD test. Since I couldn’t remember, I tried letting it go because I knew I would get blamed for it. Rumors were spreading around that we had hooked up and I just wanted attention. I avoided him the rest of the time but on Saturday I was at a park jogging and he saw me. He started harassing me and my aunt saw me from the corner, so she yelled “what was happening” to him and then he ran off. I know how this makes me look, but my parents had a lot going on so I couldn’t report it without them finding out. Plus, I didn’t really have anything that could prove what happened.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Not having the support you needed. It hurts more when other people are blaming you for it.”

“No, it’s not because now look what happened to you. How much do you remember and how well did you know Des?”

“My mom and grandma are friends with his relatives, so we had become close these past few months. He is one of those guys all Indian parents would approve of dating. But I have a boyfriend of my own, so we just remained friends. Before his father died, we took a walk and then he tried to kiss me. I told him I have a boyfriend and I wasn’t into him like that, but we would still be friends. He walked away but later apologized by text. Last month, Eleanor’s boyfriend was throwing a rager. That week, I hadn’t done well on a quiz, my mom was on my case about my future, and I got into a fight with my boyfriend. At the party, Des knew I was upset and offered to help me. But he touched my arm and it seemed weird. So I excused myself to get some punch. Later, I used the bathroom in one of the spare bedrooms and when I came out, Des came and locked the door. Then he pushed me on the bed, touched me, and raped me. When I told him to get off, he said I was such a tease and he knew I wanted to. I went home right after and took a thorough shower. For the next few weeks, I had panic attacks, nightmares and didn’t think I could tell anyone, especially since he was over at my house a lot. Later, I wasn’t feeling well, and I found out I was pregnant. I eventually told my boyfriend after he saw Des groping me then I told my family members. My mom and grandma are angry at him and said they would call the cops if he showed up to my house. We went to the police and so far, since I am a minor and he is an adult, they can charge him with sexual battery and statutory rape. But they need more evidence I didn’t consent for the case to be stronger. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Oh gosh Devi, I can’t imagine how hard this has been on you. You couldn’t avoid him because he was constantly over at your house. I mean I lost my friends during that time, but it wasn’t that bad enough to have panic attacks. And he didn’t knock me up.”

“Thanks. I lost the baby recently which was fine because I was going to get an abortion anyway. But I feel disgusted at him. At least we don’t go to the same school. I for sure could have told my dad if he was here.”

“What happened to your dad?”

“He passed away a year and a half ago due to a heart attack. So, it’s been hard on us, but my grandma and cousin moved in after. Me and my dad were close so I would have told him right away what happened. But I feel bad for you. Dealing with parental troubles then this. On top of that, you lost your friends.”

“Don’t be. You went through so much too. Losing the parent you were close to and now this. I want to speak up so Des can never do something like this again for the rest of his life.”

“Of course.” Devi pulled the detective’s business card from her backpack and gave it to Maddy, then exchanged numbers.

“Thank you. I have to tell my parents tonight, but I promise to talk to the detective as soon as possible. Let me know if you want to talk or need anything else.”

“Thanks. Good luck with everything.” Maddy left the girls to sit with another guy, leaving the girls alone.

“Look Trent and his dad are busy figuring out the surveillance cameras in his house. There were a couple in the room where it happened. Hopefully that caught something and that will also be proof.” Eleanor said.

“At least with all this evidence there is no way he can get away with this.” Fabiola added.

“Well, I will believe it when I see it.” Devi finished her frozen yogurt and hung out with her friends for another 15 minutes before leaving. She felt much better knowing Des had done this before. That was enough proof for the police, right?

Chapter Text

Chapter 40

Maddy and her date had taken a walk when she told him everything about last summer. Her date was supportive of her and promised to help her out. Unfortunately, Rhyah was nearby listening to the whole thing. As soon as Maddy started walking home, Rhyah grabbed her arm.

“Can I help you?” Maddy asked.

“I want you to leave my son alone.” Rhyah threatened.

“Who’s your son?” Maddy was confused.

“Don’t play dumb. You were talking about Des. All you want to do is ruin his life.”

“He raped me when I was passed out! He ruined my life.” 

”Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten drunk!” Rhyah gripped her arm tighter.

”I was sober the whole time! He spiked my drink!” Maddy somehow managed to get her arm away.

“You tell the police, and I will figure out a way to destroy your reputation.” Rhyah threatened.

“I don’t care anymore!” Maddy walked away before Rhyah had the chance to say anything else. Rhyah was furious. All she wanted was to protect their family’s reputation and she was failing.

Later that day, Nalini went to Dr Ryan’s office to get some advice about her daughter. She was still worried her daughter was holding stuff inside her.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Is everything okay with Devi? I could tell it took her a lot for her to tell me everything that happened that night.” Dr. Ryan asked.

“She is opening to me more, but I am still concerned that she is hiding stuff. I will admit, it wasn’t easy for her to talk to me in the past, so she was depressed for a few weeks.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. Teenagers are not going to want to confide in their parents about everything, especially something as serious as this.”

“After her father and her paralysis, I thought things would get better. Now this has happened. What if she hurts herself again? She admitted last week she almost tried to do it again.” Nalini put a hand to her head.

“I’m not gonna lie, things are going to get worse before they get better. But with these regular therapy sessions, we can work on some techniques.” Dr. Ryan noticed Nalini’s expression. “Do you want to talk about what you are feeling?”

“Guilt is the word to describe it. I was eight years old when I was inappropriately touched by my babysitter. My parents were away as usual. When I told them they knew he was a good man, so they did nothing about it. That’s why I am so paranoid about Devi. Not only she was assaulted, but she felt so hurt that instead of telling me she was cutting her thighs. I didn’t want to end up like my parents. I wanted to be the supportive mom.” Nalini was in tears now.

“First of all, shame on your parents for not protecting you. Second, you are already doing the right thing by getting the police involved. Just be there for your daughter. She confided in you when she was about to do it again, right?” Nalini nodded as Dr Ryan continued talking. “Tell her you are always available to listen if she wants to talk. Did you talk to someone about this?”

“I told Mohan when Devi was a baby. He was supportive and told me he loved me and Devi no matter what. I recently had the courage to tell my mother-in-law.”

“That’s a start. Have you ever considered telling Devi your story? It might help strengthen the relationship between you too.”

Nalini shook her head. “She’s too young to hear this. Plus, her health has not been the best. I don’t want to add to any more stress.”

“Look, it might help her knowing someone who has been through this. But that’s your decision.” Dr. Ryan pulled a card out then continued talking. “Here is a support group for Devi. It will be good for her to talk to people who went through similar experiences. Also, I know you don’t believe in therapy, but if you want I can recommend someone for you.”

“Thank you.”

Devi was doing homework that night when she got a text from Maddy.

Maddy: Hey it’s Maddy from earlier. I told my mom, and we are going to the detective tomorrow. How did Des’ mom react when she found out? She saw me earlier and threatened to destroy my life.

Devi was surprised to see the text.

Devi: She was angry at Des, but she didn’t want to get the police involved. When she came over to my house, she started accusing me of lying then I had a panic attack and passed out. That’s when I lost the baby. The next day my mom got angry and ended her friendship with her.

Maddy: Oh wow. She’s probably trying to salvage Des’ future. She should go to jail for killing your baby.

Devi: I wish. But my mom threatened to call the cops if she ever comes near me again. Not sure if there are any laws for a rapists parent trying to blackmail you. How did your mom take it?

Maddy: She regrets sending me away, but she is willing to support me. In fact, she and my father started fighting again but apologized after. My mom held me tightly and promised to never fight like this in front of me. I told her I just want justice for what happened.

Devi: Crossing my fingers that we can stop him.

Devi felt much better. The one thing she had to do was fight, whether she was ready or not. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 41

Devi and Paxton were by her locker talking and making plans for the weekend. Suddenly Trent came up to them. “Trent what’s going on?” Paxton asked.

“So, me and my dad looked through the security cameras and it caught something from my party.”

“That’s good! Did you show it to the police?” Devi asked.

“Not yet, I wanted you to see it first. I thought all of us could go to the detective after. Devi, you should probably let your mom know.”

“I will tell her once I see it.”

“How about you come over after school? We can look at it.” Trent asked.

“I have Model UN right after school. Maybe I can come over later since it’s Friday.” Devi said.

“I can wait for you. I should continue filling out my college applications and start my essay while I’m at it.” Paxton said.

“Cool guys. Let me know.” Trent said then walked away. The bell rang then Paxton and Devi walked to their respective classes. Once Devi walked into AP Physics, she found Ben Gross at his spot and sat down.

“Sup Gross.” Ben suddenly got startled.

“Jeez David, how are you so energetic today.”

“Gotta plan for my future. I can’t let myself being attacked ruin my life now, can I? Don’t think you are getting that valedictorian title.” Devi said jokingly.

“Oh, we’ll see about that.” Both laughed then Ben continued talking. “But seriously the police questioned all of us. Are they doing something about Des? Because he deserves to rot in hell.”

“So far, yes. Since I am a minor and he is 18, they can charge him with statutory rape. Since Paxton had to pull him off me, sexual battery is being added to the charges. But more evidence is needed that I didn’t consent. Trent was saying there were security cameras that caught something. I’m going there later to check it out.”

“I’m glad Des is not getting off scot-free. My dad, being a lawyer, taught me about consent from the age I could walk. What Des did was out of line.”

“I wish I could just blackmail him. But I can’t breathe every time I see him. At least he doesn’t go to our school.

“We could start a fight club in case he comes near you. That way it will be a few of us against one to take him down.” Devi laughed. “Paxton wanted to beat up him when he came over. My mom warned him that he will get sued or arrested if he tries anything.”

“Well if his mom sues me, I have my dad’s money.” Their teacher then came in and gave instructions for the lab today. 

“For once I am grateful that you have your rich dad.” 

“I’m serious Devi. Are you okay with us starting a fight club? Because this school deserves one.”

“If he doesn’t get punished severely, sure. But let’s see what the police find.”

The teacher came then Devi and Ben got started on their lab assignments.

Aneesa was at home in her room. She somehow convinced her parents she was too sick to go to school because she wanted to talk to Des. Her mom wouldn’t let her leave the house unless she made things right with Devi. Without thinking, she snuck out and walked over to Hartman Hill. If Des was on his lunch break, that was the one chance she had.

Once Aneesa was at his school, she found him in the courtyard and signaled for him to come out. Des saw her and came rushing out without anyone seeing him. Once they kissed, they both walked into an isolated area before talking.

“What are you doing at my school? Did you skip?” Des was desperate for answers.

“I wanted to see you. My mom won’t let me do anything fun unless I apologize to Devi. She’s in the wrong here. So, I convinced my parents that I was sick so I could sneak out. Plus, I know you are on lockdown except for school so this was the only option.”

“Fair enough. I thought you didn’t want to see me after your mom interrupted us. Also, your mom called my mom and told me to stay away from you.”

“I can’t believe my mom. She doesn’t know you like I do. How are you doing?”

“Let’s see. I got arrested Sunday and my mom bailed me out. She’s getting me a lawyer so hopefully I can avoid jail time. But the dean of Stanford put my application on hold. I also have no friends anymore. My family is giving me the silent treatment.”

“Wrong. You have me.” Aneesa kissed him passionately and Des went in, sliding his tongue.

“Aww, you are delicious.”

“I have an idea.” Aneesa smiled.

“Which is?”

“We could run away and start a new life together.”

“Where exactly? I don’t have any money and mom has my trust fund locked. Plus, I am on house arrest. I have no way to escape.” Des was confused.

“You can skip school and we can leave now. We can find a bus that leaves the state and figure it out from there.”

“I need school to get into college. Your mom would go nuts if she found out you were missing. Aren’t things already bad between you two?”

“You said it yourself you don’t like being stuck at home. This is your only chance to escape. I want to be with you so bad.”

“I want to be with you too. But right now, school is the only thing that is distracting me from all this mess. Maybe once I’m cleared, we can consider it. Wait since you are on my side you could blackmail Paxton for me. He is the only other witness so if he lies then the police won’t have anything against me. I mean you guys go to the same school.”

“Sure. Anything you have in mind?”

Des thought for a second. “His family doesn’t have money and he has a fake id. If he gets caught, he will have to pay so much money and it will be on his permanent record. You can say if he testifies on her behalf, we turn in his fake id to the police. That way he won’t get into college.”

“Oh my gosh that’s brilliant! We can sneak around after this is over.”

“I still have half an hour before I have to get to class. We can fool around until then.” Des pulled Aneesa in and started kissing her. Aneesa then leaned against the wall while they continued their make-out session. Once Des’ hands reached Aneesa’s breasts, she moaned. Their hands kept roaming all over their bodies. But Aneesa stopped once Des unbuttoned her pants.

“Wait. Do you have protection?” Des shook his head. “I always pull out. Aren’t you on the pill?”

“What? No! There’s no way to get on birth control without my mom finding out. I thought you were smart enough to carry condoms after what happened with Devi.” Aneesa was getting upset.

“I wasn’t worried about Devi. She lied to me saying she was on the pill and once she got pregnant, she decided to tell the cops.” Des got defensive as he said that. 

Aneesa wasn’t feeling good about this.

“This isn’t a good idea. I can’t do this.” Aneesa tried walking away, but Des grabbed her, pushed her against the wall and roughly kissed her. “Des stop!” Des grabbed her wrist and kept going, touching her body.

“Get off me, Des!” Aneesa finally managed to push him off once his hands went inside her pants then Des got angry.

“You are such a tease, you know that? In fact, I thought you were different. Instead, you are just like every other girl. Coming on to me then acting like the victim.” Des scoffed.

“I’m done Des.” Aneesa ran away as far as she could until she was away from the school. Luckily, Des didn’t follow her. She should have listened to Devi when she said he wasn’t a nice guy. What had she gotten herself into?

Chapter Text

Chapter 42

Devi, Paxton, and Trent were sitting in Trent’s living room about to see the footage from the party. Eleanor had rehearsal so she couldn’t join them. 

“Are you sure you want to see this?” Trent asked carefully.

Devi nodded. “I know what happened.” Trent played the entire video. The light was on so there was clear evidence. It showed Devi entering the bedroom and Des coming in as soon as she came out. Des had also locked the door. Des was going way too close to Devi, but she tried to back off. Then it showed Des pushing her on the bed and touching her. Eventually, he raped her. Tears were flowing down Devi’s eyes. There was no sound, but Paxton was trying his best to control the anger. 

The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes after the video was done. Then Devi spoke up.

“Should we go to the detective?”

“Yes.” The boys said quickly. Paxton drove Devi in his jeep while Trent followed behind. Devi texted her mom telling her to meet them at the police station.

Nalini was waiting for them once they got to the station. “Devi is everything okay?” She asked after hugging her daughter.

“We found evidence that we can show the detective.” All four of them went inside and knocked on the detective’s office. Once they got inside, Trent pulled up the evidence on his laptop.

“Thank you for bringing this. I’m gonna need you boys to step out while we view this.” Trent and Paxton looked confused but left the room. The detective pressed play and the video started playing with no sound. Nalini cringed as she saw Des remove her skirt and underwear.

“Okay I am not sure if I can watch this.”

“Mom.” Devi pleaded, taking a hand in hers. Nalini tried to remain strong as she watched the rest of the video. Once the video ended, the detective closed the laptop.

“Well?” Devi asked, this was the moment of truth.

“We got him.” Devi and Nalini breathed in relief. All three of them stepped out of the room to find the boys. The detective left to arrest Des then Devi spoke up. “Thank you so much guys. I was worried he was going to get off scot free.”

“It’s not okay what Des did. As men, it’s our responsibility to stop this. You don’t need to thank us.” Trent said.

“Babe, he is getting what he deserves.” Paxton kissed Devi.

Rhyah and her mother-in-law were eating dinner silently. This had been their normal routine. For the past few days, people stopped talking to them because of the rumors spreading. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rhyah opened it, revealing the detective and police officers. Ammuma went to get Des from his room. Once Des came down, the detective started talking.

“Nirdesh Pillai, you are under arrest for the rape of Devi Vishwakumar. You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Hands behind your back.” The police officer handcuffed Des.

Rhyah was shocked. “Hold up. You just arrested him and now you are doing it again?”

“Earlier we had evidence that your son had sex with a minor. Now we have video evidence of him sexually assaulting her. If you want, we can show it to you at the police station.” The detective was firm about it.

“No thanks.” Rhyah and her mother-in-law waited for a few minutes before driving to the station and bailing her son out. During the car ride home, all three of them sat in silence. As soon as they got home, they gathered in the living room before Rhyah began speaking in a stern tone.

“I cannot keep bailing you out. Your future is practically ruined. The dean from Stanford called and with everything going on you got rejected.” Rhyah said, facing Des.

“You don’t get it Mom. She wanted it. My life is ruined because of her. You said you were going to fix this.”

Ammuma had it. “Enough! Look at what you have done! We are all paying the price for your foolishness. Your mother and I have lost our friends because people won’t look at us. I should have listened to your dad when he said something was wrong with you. Rhyah, look at this child you spoiled.” Ammuma scoffed.

Rhyah put a hand to stop her mother-in-law. “Tomorrow the lawyer is coming over and you are going to do exactly what he says. Now let’s go to your room.” Rhyah and Ammuma dragged Des to his room and locked the door from outside.

Nalini was driving Devi home, checking on her occasionally as she was staring at her phone. “It’s going to be okay, Devi. There is no way he is dodging punishment.” Nalini said putting a hand on her shoulder while driving.

“He was released on bail, mom. I can’t believe it. I just want this to be over.”

“The detective said there is enough evidence that he cannot avoid punishment. I’m not gonna lie, this will be a long road. You will have to answer questions over and over to the lawyers. People will try to test you by saying you wanted it. But fight with your spirit, and you can win. Only you know what happened.”

“Okay, crossing my fingers.” Devi sighed as she looked out of the window.

“I went to your therapist’s office yesterday and she is recommending a support group for you.”

“Wait, I thought you wanted me to go to therapy.” Devi was confused.

“This is in addition to therapy.”

“Is that really necessary? I was fine talking to my therapist but at support group I am going to be talking about my personal life to a bunch of strangers.” Devi cringed.

“Yes, but they all went through similar events. You told Kamala you didn’t know anyone who gone through the same thing and now is your chance to meet people. Just give it a try, okay?”

“Okay, I will consider it. Wait, what were you doing in my therapist’s office? Were you snooping behind my back?” Devi snapped.

“Watch your tone young lady. I get it you have been through a lot. But I am still your mother and I will not tolerate your rudeness. All I wanted to do was talk to her because I was worried you were still holding stuff in. I have a right to know if something is wrong with you.”

“Well, what is wrong with me is that I’m damaged. Is that what you want to hear?” Devi asked angrily.

Nalini took a deep breath before answering, knowing this was not going to be easy for them. “I just want to see the same energetic girl your father and I raised. Lately I’m not seeing that.”

“I want to be the same again, but I am not sure if I can.” Devi said as Nalini pulled up to their house.

“Me and Pati can help you out. Now come inside. Dinner is masala dosa, one of your favorites. And you need to eat something.” Devi nodded as both women went inside. Des was finally punished. But was it too good to be true?

Chapter Text

Chapter 43

Des and his mom were sitting with the lawyer in the living room the next day. The lawyer had given a sympathetic look before speaking.

“I’m going to be honest; this doesn’t look good. With the paternity test, video evidence, and proof of harassment, this will be the most compelling in any case. So now the jury will go for the maximum.”

“The maximum. What is that?” Des was freaking out now.

“Eleven years and you will have to register as a sex offender.”

Rhyah felt sick. “Oh my! There’s no way.” Des put a hand to his head.

“The penalty is eight years plus another three because she is a minor and you are an adult. Now this is just the maximum. The jury might go easy on you since this is your first offence.”

“So, what would he need to do?” Rhyah asked.

“We could try for a plea deal. You plead guilty right away, then the prosecutor will give some reduced charge or minimized punishment such as some mandatory mental health treatment. This allows the prosecutor to avoid a trial.”

“I’m sorry, mental health treatment!? Counseling is for crazy people.” Rhyah scoffed.

“No, it is for people who have mental health issues like your son. He needs help. If you refuse to comply, things will get a lot worse from here.”

“This is a joke.” Des muttered. Rhyah snapped her fingers to get his attention. “Sorry. But this would still be on my permanent record.”

“It would, but there is a chance you may not have to register as a sex offender. Think about it and let me know.” 

The lawyer left leaving Des and Rhyah in silence. Rhyah waited a few minutes before speaking up. “You have destroyed everything. All our lives. People have stopped coming to me for nutritional advice. Did you have any idea of the consequences before you committed your actions?”

“Mom.” Des stammered but Rhyah stopped him.

“You know what? Get out.”

“I’m your son. You can’t kick me out.” Des said.

“You are 18 and a disgrace to our family. No longer obligated to live under my roof. I should have done this a long time ago. I’m giving you five minutes to pack your things and then you better be gone.” Rhyah disappeared leaving Des alone. Des got angry. This was all Devi Vishwakumar’s fault. He went to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife he could find. Unfortunately, his grandmother saw him.

“Nirdesh. What are you doing?”

“Giving everyone what they deserve.” Des stormed out of his house before his grandmother could say anything else with the knife and started walking. His goal was to find Paxton and kill him. He wanted to kill Devi for ruining his life but she had all sorts of guards around her. But Paxton didn’t. Once he confronted Paxton, he could find a way to get revenge on Devi. Des passed by a nearby park that had a food truck festival and saw a figure with black hair and brown skin.

It was Devi. He could briefly hear her tell someone that she was buying food. Screw Paxton. Devi was alone, this was his chance. Without thinking, he walked up to her and placed a hand on her mouth from behind. Devi tried to scream but Des held her tightly and pushed her against a tree. Once Devi realized who it was, she was shocked.

“Des! What are you doing? Get off!” Devi felt trapped.

“Oh Devi, we used to be friends. And now all you want to do is ruin my life! All because I tried to make things better after you and Paxton got into a fight. Now look what happened! You get Paxton and I get rejected from Stanford!” Devi had to think of a way to escape, she couldn’t have another panic attack, not in public.

“You know what? You are right. If you let me go, I will tell the police I was lying and you will be free.” 

“Nice try. I know you will lie, like usual. You are crazy Devi.” Des pulled out the knife and put it too close to her stomach.

“Please don’t hurt me, I promise to tell the truth to my family, friends, and boyfriend.” Devi was panicking, Des was following up on his death threats. Just then Maddy appeared and pushed him off.

“Let go of her! You are not getting away with this. You can’t do this again!” Des looked furious as he saw the two girls.

“What the actual fuck? You girls are the same. Acting like you want to have sex then trying to ruin my life.” Des grabbed Maddy’s arm tightly and dragged Devi by her hair. Once he was certain they were alone, he let go of Maddy, pulled out the knife and put it too close to Devi’s stomach. 

“You asshole! You forced me to have sex with you and got me pregnant!” Devi screamed, trying to get away. 

“You and your boyfriend got into a fight, so I tried to help you. And what do I get in return! Huh? My dream college rejected me!” Des shouted.

Maddy spoke up trying to push him off again but had no success. “I thought I confided in you about bad relationships with our fathers. I told you I didn’t want to drink and wasn’t ready for a relationship. Please drop the knife and we will let this go.”

That didn’t seem to satisfy him. “Oh please, you are such a flirt. You know you wanted to. Everyone knows we hooked up. You and your daddy issues.” Des retorted.

Another girl came up to them and tried to push Des off. “You are an asshole! You took nudes of me and sent them to the entire school!” Devi, surprised, was trying to breathe while staying calm. When Maddy was sure Des wasn’t looking at her, she texted 9-1-1. 

Des faced the other girl and yelled at her. “You liar! You are just blaming me because you took those photos of yourself and sent them to me. You are a real slut!”

An Asian girl came up to them. “You went down on me when I was so drunk. Put that knife down. No means no!” Soon after other girls came up shouting at him about what he did to them.

Just then Rhyah appeared and was surprised to see all the girls. “Des honey, go home.”

“But mom you said – “

“I know what I said. Please put the knife down.” Des ignored her and gripped Devi tighter. Devi felt tears slowly rolling down. Rhyah was scared about what her son was going to do next so she continued talking. “Listen to me please. I love you so much.”

“No mom! You are lying! You never wanted me! That’s why you sent me away after dad died! I was upset and you didn’t care!” Des was angry.

“Desi honey, calm down. I am trying to protect you here. You are my only child. We will fix everything.” Des slowly let go of Devi and put the knife down. As soon as Rhyah came and took his hand, the police arrived.

“You are under arrest!” 

“What the hell!” Des tried running away but a police officer pinned him down and handcuffed him. “Fuck you Devi Vishwakumar, you started this! You get every guy you want!” Devi flinched as he heard those words but saw Paxton running towards her so she hugged him comfortably. 

“It’s okay, he can’t hurt you anymore.” Paxton said.

“I know, I thought he was so close to following up on his threats and killing me.”

Maddy came over to them and held her hand. “Us girls are getting the justice we deserve. Don’t worry.” Everyone watched as Des was being taken away. Things were going to be better.

Chapter Text

Epilogue

6 months later

“Happy 17 th birthday!” Devi woke up and smiled as her mom, Pati, and Kamala came into her room with a cupcake. 

It had been a crazy few months. Since the police found out Des was harassing other girls, Des was going to be in prison for 40 years with no chance of parole. Devi also managed to get a restraining order against Rhyah after what she had done. Her mom and Pati stopped speaking to Des' relatives, but that didn’t matter. They didn’t want to be friends with people who only cared about looks and reputation. Their only priority was being there for Devi and having true friends.

Devi started attending the support group Dr. Ryan recommended and was enjoying it. It was nice talking to people who were also assaulted. Her diet and sleep also improved. The nightmares hadn’t stopped completely, but they reduced. Nalini still checked on Devi while she was sleeping occasionally. The panic attacks eventually stopped since she had been taking her anti-anxiety medications. While Devi was working hard in school, she didn’t feel as stressed out. She still wanted to go to Princeton, but she knew in the end the outcome wouldn’t matter.

Aneesa eventually apologized to Devi but avoided her. She hadn’t gotten over the fact the guy she was interested in ended up hurting Devi. Luckily, she and Maddy had become best friends over the past few months. While Devi had Eleanor and Fabiola, it was nice to have a friend who went through the exact same thing. Her mom even turned into her dad!

Okay that was an exaggeration. While her mom was still the strict parent, she was turning into a source of comfort for Devi and having open discussions. Devi was also taking birth control with her supervision. Nalini was treating Paxton like the boyfriend all mothers would approve of. Her mom and the detective started dating shortly after, so he hadn’t disappeared from Devi’s life.

“Thanks guys.” Devi smiled and blew out the candle.

“Come down for breakfast when you are ready, I made your favorite pancakes like your father used to.” Mohan had a tradition of making chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream on Devi’s birthday. This was the best day for their only child so Nalini wanted to give Devi something to remind her of her father.

“Okay mom let me get dressed.” Her relatives stepped out as she picked out a cute dress that went down to her knees. The cuts were still visible but they were becoming a thing of the past. She had relapsed twice, but with therapy she was feeling much better.

Once she got downstairs, she smelled the pancakes her mom made and she noticed the detective was over. The detective spoke up.

“Happy birthday Devi, hope you don’t mind me dropping in like this.” The detective put his arm around her mom.

“Thanks detective, if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be where I was today. Plus you make my mom happy.” While Devi still wasn’t thrilled about her mom dating, she liked the guy she was with. Deep down, she knew no one would ever replace her dad.

“You know you can call me Charles right?”

“Sure thank you Charles.”

Nalini spoke up. “Come eat Devi while the pancakes are still hot.” The five of them sat and ate breakfast together.

“So Devi, what's your plan today?” Kamala asked.

“I am meeting Eleanor, Fabiola, Maddy, and Rebecca at the mall. We are having a girls day. Paxton wanted to do something after dinner but he didn’t give any specifics. He just said he wanted to take me out.” Everyone was staring at each other like they knew something.

“Okay what’s going on? Do you know something?” Nalini then distracted her. “Here, eat some more, you deserve it.” Her mom said as she gave her more food.

The day was spent shopping and with her best friends trying crazy things. They went to the salon where they styled their hair, got facials, and painted their nails. The girls even went to a rated R movie with a lot of sus scenes, the first one they were able to see legally without needing id.

Around 6, her family went for dinner to an Italian eatery Paxton had suggested. All four women shared memories of Devi when she was little. Devi smiled because this reminded her of the good times with her father. It was nice seeing her family not fight after the drama during the past few months. Both she and Kamala had significant others their family members approved of. 

After dinner, Nalini drove Devi to Malibu. Devi liked coming here on her birthday every year. While Devi had fun today, she was worried for a second. She knew her family and friends were hiding something when she bought up Paxton. On top of that, he was secretive about taking her out. Was he trying to ghost her? She didn’t want to think about the possibility of a break up. Especially when things were going great.

As Nalini and Devi walked down the beach, she saw some lights and heard “Speechless” by Dan and Shay. A boy was walking up to them wearing a flannel that was Paxton?

“Paxton!” She ran up to him, kissing him.

“Hope you like your surprise.” Paxton smiled.

“Is that what everyone was hiding today?” Devi was surprised.

Nalini spoke up. “Yes. Go have your fun. Paxton, remember what we talked about and have her home by 11.” Nalini walked away while Devi and Paxton sat on the sand eating some banana cream pie he got.

“I can’t believe this. I thought you were ghosting me earlier.”

Paxton held Devi’s hand. “You have been through a lot this year. I wanted to do something nice for you so I thought why not make it a surprise. You are a strong girl who pushed me Devi. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be going to Arizona State University. You know how to fight for your rights. This might be a lot for you but I wanted to wait until your birthday to say this. If you are not ready to say it to me, it’s totally fine. I love you.”

Devi blushed as he said that. “I love you too despite all of our ups and downs. You got me through the death of my dad. I am also going to tell you something very embarrassing that I only told my therapist. You were the reason I started walking again. My mom and I were grocery shopping and when I saw you I stood up.”

Paxton couldn’t help but blush. “Wow. I didn’t realize I had this much of an effect.”

“Why not? You are the hottest guy in school.” Devi leaned against Paxton as she said that.

“Devi I’m known for much more than that. Sure I’m considered hot, but in the past all the hookups have been chill. Being with you is different.”

“What? Why? Cause I’m not pretty?” Devi was starting to feel insecure. 

“Of course not! Devi you are literally the most beautiful girl in the world. Our hookups mean something. That is another reason why I like going slow. So we can savor every moment of it.” Paxton cradled her chin as he said that.

Devi felt happy tears rolling down. “My dad used to say I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. He would totally like you.”

“Hey at least your mom likes me now.”

“Please don’t tell me my mom threatened you before this. While things are good between us, she keeps lecturing me on dating and sex. And not in a good way. I could tell you two talked before this.”

“No. But your mom and my mom met with me and gave me a huge talk on what not to do and being safe.”

“I’m sorry both of our moms confronted you???” Devi was shocked.

“It’s okay Devi. They both wanted to make sure I was careful with you. You were hurt once, your mom wants to avoid it again.”

“Fair enough, I just don’t want anything to stop me from being with you.”

“You are the only one I want to be with.” Devi leaned against Paxton and started kissing him passionately, even climbing on top of him. “Devi slow down, we don't have to do anything you are uncomfortable with. I know it’s been too soon.”

“I’m still not ready for full on sex. But I can do other things. How about I show you?” Devi asked, grinning.

Devi and Paxton were full on kissing, swapping tongues in each other’s mouths. Devi removed her shirt so Paxton could keep kissing her on her bare skin. As Paxtons hand gently traced her stomach, Devi nodded as he put his hand over her bra. Slowly Paxton’s hand unhooked her bra leaving her topless. Paxton removed his shirt while Devi explored his stomach. 

“Woah”. Devi said, all mesmerized.

“What, you have seen me shirtless before.”

“And each time it just gets better and better.” Devi blushed. Paxton climbed on top of Devi and started kissing her on her neck, her arms, and got closer to her breasts.

“Can I kiss you there?” Devi smiled and nodded as Paxton kissed her breasts then sucked them. Devi moaned as he did that.

Devi’s fingers were wrapped in his hair as she was trying to make love. Once Paxton went through her stomach, his lips were at her hips. Devi got this electrifying feeling as Paxton undid her pants. As his hands went over her pelvis, Devi could feel the vibration hitting her.

“Wait.” Paxton stopped and got all serious. “I’m sorry I get it if you are not comfortable.”

“No that’s not it. I didn't shave down there. I wasn’t sure how far you would want to go.”

“Devi it’s okay I’m cool with it.” Devi nodded for him to continue and felt relaxed as Paxton pulled her pants and underwear down. Paxton continued kissing down and started swirling his tongue near the opening. 

“Oh yes, baby keep going.” Devi said as his tongue went further. She was in control and enjoying this.

After a few minutes, Paxton wiped his mouth with his shirt and both put their clothes back on. “That was fun.” Devi said.

“Yeah.” Paxton checked the time on his phone. “Shit. We should get you home before your mom gives me the stink eye.”

“That would be best.” Devi and Paxton walked out of the beach, hand in hand to his Jeep. Everything was getting better for Devi. She was looking forward to moving on.