Chapter Text
Chapter 01
Simon
When the editor calls me, I almost run to his office. I have been waiting the whole day for him to call me, and sometimes I think he does that intentionally, to leave me waiting. I don't think he likes me very much, but my work is good (at least I think so) (sometimes) and I believe that this is the only reason for him not firing me yet.
I knock on the door and only open it when he says that I can go in. He's on his phone, yelling with some poor soul, and makes a gesture for me to sit and wait. (I don't know why he calls me when he obviously is busy.) I look around, avoiding his gaze, seeing his prizes on the walls, his favourite articles decorating his plane office.
"So, Simon," he says and only then I noticed that he was not on the phone anymore. "I liked what you wrote here, it is not your best work, but it is fine."
"You need me to rewrite something?"
"No." He shakes his head. "I called you here because I heard that you are taking some days off."
"Uh … Yeah, tomorrow I'm going to Italy for two weeks with my fiancée." I feel my heart beating faster. I have been dreaming about this trip for weeks, I would lose my mind if he made me cancel it.
"That sounds good, I was thinking that you could write something in there. Our readers like it when we publish something about another country, tips for their holidays and all." He says and I'm surprised.
"Okay, I think I can do that. There's something specific that you would like me to write?"
"No, use your imagination and your instinct. And send it to me when you come back." Then he picks up a call and I take that as my cue to leave.
I almost can't hide my smile when I leave his office. But once I'm out of the building I allow myself to celebrate this small victory. Lamb, my editor, had never let me write something that I wanted to. I always had to write what he wanted or what he thought people wanted to read. So, I was really happy with this liberty he gave me.
I go straight to my flat wanting to tell someone about it, but once I step inside the flat I feel my excitement disappear.
Agatha is on her phone arguing with someone again, she is holding a drawing and explaining that what she asked for is different from what they sent it. I don't know exactly what she is talking about. Most of the time I don’t.
Lately, she has been arguing a lot, with many people, including me. She is a fashion designer and was about to have her first collection at a fashion week and she was about to lose her mind.
That was why we were going to Italy actually, we would spend ten days in Verona to relax and have an earlier honeymoon and then we would go to Milan, to the Fashion Week. But if it were for Agatha we would go directly to Milan.
Her work was leaving her too stressed out, and I was getting stressed too which made our relationship, which was already bad, start to get worse.
I get that it is very stressful to have to deal with so many people at once, and she was under a lot of pressure at the moment, but it was not my fault. In fact, I tried to make everything better and easier for her, at our place, in our relationship.
But every time I mention that she looks stressed, or that she should take some time off, she thinks it’s because I don't want her to succeed. I honestly don't know where she took that from, but she thinks I want to see her fail.
That's why I propose the Verona trip. It was a great opportunity for us to get closer again, and for her to relax, and I was excited about it. But Agatha was not so thrilled either.
I don't think she is thrilled about our engagement anymore either. We are supposed to get married in six months, but we didn't even start to plan anything. She says she just doesn't have time now, but I don't think she wants to get married anymore. I think she just doesn't dare to break up.
And I … I love her. I know I do. I just miss how things were at the beginning. I know that things changed, she changed, and I did it too. And now we were more roommates than anything else, but I was hoping that our trip would change that.
That somehow we would find ourselves there, that we could reconnect. I wanted to feel happy and loved again. I miss the feeling of having butterflies in my stomach every time I look at her.
"I'm gonna lose my mind." She almost yells and then throws her phone on the sofa.
Only then I notice that I'm still at the door. Just standing there looking at Agatha. A bit afraid of coming in and tired of having to pass through this again. When things changed so much between us?
"Hey." I smile, trying not to stress her more. "Something is wrong?"
"No." She says sitting on the sofa. She looks truly exhausted. "Just a mistake at the confection." She waves her hand dismissing me.
That was another weakness of our relationship. I always tried to be a part of her work, but she didn't let it. She didn’t let me in. I always asked about her day, offered help when something went wrong and wanted to know more about what was letting her happy or down. But she never tells me, and because of that I never know anything about what she is working on.
And she never asks about my work too. Sometimes I start to talk about some articles I was writing, or what Lamb said about my writing, but she never pays attention to it. In the end, she just picks up some call or starts a new subject without saying a word.
The worst of all was that now that I was thinking about it, I realised that it has always been like this. It has been the same since we met. She has her things, I have mine and we never talk about it.
"Have you finished packing?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Yeah. Just have to finish some things for the Fashion Week." She sighs. "I'll do it tonight."
"We have dinner with Penny tonight." She looks at me.
"We’ll reschedule then, it’s not a big deal." She straightens her posture, already picking up the drawings again.
"It's her birthday*. We never miss it."
"We celebrate after we get back." I can't believe she is wanting to reschedule Penny's birthday.
"I'm not skipping Penny's dinner, if you wanna stay then fine, but I'll go tonight." I finally step out of the door and go to our room.
Agatha doesn't follow me. In part, I'm relieved that she doesn't. I didn't want to fight now, I was so tired of fighting. But the other part of me wanted her to come here and fight with me. To fight for us.
If she's upset about me going without her, she doesn't show. And that upsets me even more, it was like she didn’t care about me anymore. About our relationship. I wonder if I shouldn’t just get the hint and break up already.
I finish packing my things, still thinking about it. I try to put it aside, to think about the trip. But it is hard. The whole situation is hard.
When I'm done, I’m almost late to meet Penny and Micah, but at least everything is ready for tomorrow.
"Don’t stay until very late, we have to be at the airport early,” Agatha says when I go back to our living room.
“I won’t.” I think about asking if she really doesn't want to come with me, but I give up. I just say goodbye and then I leave.
This was how bad our relationship was now, no more kissing or greeting each other at the door. I mean, we never were a caring and loving couple, but in the beginning that happened more frequently. Neither of us liked to show affection in public or anything like that, but when we were alone we used to do those things.
When I step outside the building the air makes me shrink a bit in my coat. It was colder than I thought. Luckily, the pub where Penny decided to make her birthday is close to my flat, so it is a short walk and I get there in ten minutes. Once I'm inside I take off my coat and go to the table where Penny is sitting, waiting for me.
"Happy birthday," I say in her ear, making her jump. She was looking at her phone and didn't see me.
"You have to stop doing that." She says while I laugh and sit in front of her. "One day I'll drop dead on the floor and you'll be the one to blame."
Penny is my oldest and closest friend. We have known each other since we were kids, and since then we are inseparable. Penny is like the sister I never had, and I trust her more than anyone else.
"I see that being older means being more dramatic too." I roll my eyes.
She pretends she doesn’t hear it. "Where's Agatha?" She asks, looking around.
"Not coming." Her shoulders drop a bit. "She had some things to finish for our trip." I shrug, trying to hide my frustration.
"She could have texted me at least. I know she is under a lot of stress, and all, but come on, she could take at least a minute to send a birthday text to her old friend." Her voice is bitter.
"I'm sorry." I hold her hand above the table.
"I'm sorry too. For your face, I can see that things are worse than ever." I shrug.
"Yeah. I thought that our trip would help, but I don't know. Agatha doesn't seem to want to be in this relationship anymore."
A waiter comes to take my order and interrupts our talk. After he leaves, Penny squeezes my hand, making me look at her.
"You know my opinion about it." I sigh.
"I know." Penny already expressed her opinion a million times about it.
She is Agatha’s friend too, but we met first, so she was a bit more loyal to me (and I was her best friend after all). And she already told me lots of times that she thinks it’s best if we break up. In her words, she didn’t want to see us sad anymore.
"Is not that I want you two to break up.” She says, almost as if she was hearing my thoughts. “You are both my friends, despite Agatha's lack of interest in my friendship,” She rolls her eyes, but I see she is a bit hurt about it. “But I want you both to be happy. And honestly, you look miserable. And this has been happening for the last few months, you know that." I look at the table, avoiding her gaze.
"I know Penny. Part of me wants just to stop pretending that we have a relationship, but the other part wants to fight. To find what we had. To find what made me fall in love with Agatha." Penny squeezes my hand again. "I thought our trip could fix it, but I don't know anymore."
"Look," she starts and I look at her again. "You'll take that flight tomorrow and go on this trip you have been dreaming about for months." She smiles before continuing. "And try to find these things, give this last chance to your engagement if that is what you really want. But if after these two weeks nothing changes, then I think it's time for you two to move on."
The waiter comes back with my beer. I take a sip of it, thinking of Penny's words. I know she is right. It’s just hard to accept that.
"I'll think about it." It's her time to sigh. "But let's talk about something more cheerful, it's your birthday after all." I smile at her and she smiles too. "Where is Micah, by the way?" I ask looking around, and when I look back at her, I see her smile fade. "What happened?" She drinks her beer before answering me.
"Well, your relationship is not the only one in trouble. We're on a break." Her eyes fill up with tears. "He asked for it. Said he needs to think."
"When did that happen?" I’m truly shocked.
"Today. Can you believe it? He asked for a break on my birthday.” She shakes her head. “I know things were a bit bad, but was it so bad that he had to break up on my birthday? Couldn't he wait a day?" Is my time to squeeze her hand.
"I'm sorry Pen. I didn't know you were having problems. I feel like a terrible friend."
"That's okay, I'm not the most open person either. And we were having problems, but like every couple does. I didn't think it was enough to break up." She wipes a tear from her eye before it falls.
"That sucks. Now I don't want to leave you."
"It's fine. My parents are coming this weekend anyway and I'm sure that as soon as I tell them the news, they will want to stay longer." She shrugs.
We don’t say anything for a few minutes, probably thinking about how we got here. How have our lives changed so much?
"Well, for me it seems that we have only one job today," I say, making her look at me.
"What?" She asks, confused.
"Drink everything we can." She smiles and holds her beer.
"A really good plan." I smile too and let my cup hit hers.
And then we drink and talk and try to forget our relationships and how fucked up things were.
…
Agatha is not in a good mood the next morning, nothing new about that. I don't know if something happened with her work or if it's because I went to dinner with Penny, even without her. When I got home, she was already sleeping, so we didn't talk and even if she wasn’t, I’m not sure that I would ask.
We don't talk when we wake up either. We just check with each other if we got everything, and then we leave. When we are on our way to the airport, she picks up a call and keeps talking to someone on her phone, checking something about the fashion week and her collection.
I make our check-in for both of us and she only turns off her phone when we have to pass through airport security. Once we are in the departure lounge, I try to talk to her. I say how excited I'm to meet Italy, but before I could finish, her phone rings again and she comes back to the world that I'm not included in.
The only thing I'm grateful for now is that our flight is short and soon we'll be in Verona. And then, she can ignore me all she wants, because I'll have a city to explore.
I almost sigh at that though. Our trip barely started and the plan is already failing. Maybe our engagement is doomed already. Maybe this was hopeless anyway.
Agatha only talks to me when we are on the plane, and she has to turn her phone off.
"How was dinner last night?" Her question is so sudden that it takes me a minute to answer.
"It was nice." I wonder if I should tell her about Penny and Micah if I should be the one telling her, and for a moment I don't think it is my place to tell, but Agatha and Penny are not talking too much these days, so I guess it’s up to me. "Penny and Micah broke up." She looks surprised at me.
"What?" It’s been some weeks, months maybe, that I have seen her so interested in something that I was saying.
"Yeah, Penny said they are actually on a break, but she doesn't seem hopeful that they will get back together." She seems shocked. I think it hit her that a break-up is something possible.
"Did she tell you why?"
"She doesn't know." Agatha frowns. "Micah was the one who broke up. Penny said they had a few fights, but it wasn't a big thing."
"Well, it was for Micah." She looks away. Maybe she is thinking about us. "Penny is okay?"
"Okay enough for someone who got dumped on their birthday." I shrug.
"Poor Penny." She sighs. "But maybe it's for the best." She’s still not looking at me.
"Maybe." Maybe it would be for the best for us too.
We don't say anything else, but I guess we think the same thing.
We talked a bit during the flight, but nothing important, just quick questions. Agatha doesn’t have her phone on, but she takes her notebook to check everything once again for next week. And once again, she shuts me out.
When our flight arrives in Verona I'm hungry and even though I slept poorly last night, I want to see the city. I say that to Agatha, and she doesn't seem much excited but agrees in going with me.
We leave our luggage in our hotel room, Agatha changes her clothes and we go outside. We walk holding hands and it feels so nice, that I keep trying to remember when it was the last time we did this. But five minutes after we start our walk her phone rings.
"Hi, Josie." She stops walking and pulls her hand from my grip. "How did that happen? I gave very specific instructions, everything was already separated." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I have everything written down, just give me 10 minutes to find it." She turns off the phone.
"What happened?"
"What happens when you work with useless people." She huffs. "I have to go back to the hotel, I need to take my notes and fix what those dumbasses made." I never saw her so angry like this.
"Okay, let's go then."
"No, go see the city. I know you were excited to see it. When I finish I'll go meet you. Let your phone on." She says giving me a fast kiss and then she leaves before I could say anything.
I walk a little lost at first, not knowing where to go, but then as I pass in front of a restaurant my stomach makes a noise, and I feel obligated to stop.
After a delicious meal, I go back outside and start to lose myself in the streets. Everything is so beautiful and the people are so nice that I already love this place.
I wait for Agatha's call all day, but she doesn't call me. I don't go back to the hotel either, I just keep walking and taking photos of everything. I send some to Penny and hope she is doing fine alone in London. Her parents will go only tomorrow and she is not a person with many friends.
In the middle of the afternoon, I find a place that makes me stop. It is full of people going in and out. Some of them are extremely happy and some are crying, looking desperate. I read a sign that says "Casa di Giulietta" and I walk in curious about it.
Inside, the place is bigger than it seems. A statue is placed in a corner and the walls are full of papers that look like letters, and little notes. I sit on a bench and take my phone to research.
With my quick research, I found out that this place was called Juliet's house, in English, and it was a place where people who were in love left letters to Juliet (Juliet, from Romeo and Juliet) asking for her advice. I see here a good opportunity to write an article. So I take my notebook and start to write what I'm seeing.
I don't know how long I spend there only looking at strangers and taking notes, but eventually, the place is almost empty, the sun is disappearing already and a woman (a bit older than me, maybe in her thirties) walks in with a basket and starts to take the letters out.
"Excuse me," I say, going to her. "Do you speak English?" If she didn't then I would have a problem.
"Yes." She smiles. "How can I help you?"
"I'm Simon." I extend my hand to her.
"Gianna." She shakes my hand.
"I'm a journalist and I'm writing an article about this place, and I wanted to know if you could tell me about it. Or about what you are doing." She smiles again.
"Of course. You know what this place is?" I nod.
"I read that is where people leave letters asking advice to Juliet."
"Usually yes, sometimes they just want to write about their happiness. The other volunteers and I are called secretaries of Juliet, in your language. Every day we collect the letters and we answer some of them, the ones with addresses. We try to bring comfort to some of these people."
"That sounds so nice." I'd love to work answering these love letters. Not that I have many experiences with it. I mean, my relationship was about to drown wasn't it?
"Thank you." She smiles. "Do you want to see it?"
"If there is no problem, I would love it." I smile too. "Let me help you." I leave my things on a bench and go help her to take the letters.
I'm taking some notes down when another two women walk in with baskets too. Giana walks to me and introduces them.
"These are two of our volunteers, this is Nina" she points to the youngest one, who couldn't be more than 18. "And Giulia." She points to the older one, who seems to have the same age as me. She looked like Gianna. "Giulia is my younger sister."
"Hi." I give a shy smile. I'm not good at meeting new people.
"They speak English like me." She explains. "This is Simon, he's a journalist and is writing about us." They smile at me.
"It’s very nice to meet you," Giulia said, shaking my hand, her accent was stronger than Gianna’s. Nina just smiled, looking a bit embarrassed.
"We'll finish taking these letters and notes out the walls and then we take them to our place, to start reading it," Gianna explains and I nod.
They go to different corners to take the letters that are still hanging on the wall and I follow their lead. I'm almost done on my side when something catches my attention.
A piece of paper was hidden in the middle of the holes in the wall. I take it and see that it was a letter with a date of thirty-five years ago. I look at the letter with curiosity and hold it until Gianna tells me it's time for us to leave.
I keep holding the old letter in my hands, anxious to read it. Meanwhile, Gianna starts to explain some things about the city and its history. It's not a long walk until we reach an old building that has a sign in Italian that Gianna tells me means Secretaries of Juliet.
Once we are inside, they take me to a room where other three women are writing. They are all much older than the others. They look up and start to speak in Italian, so I don’t understand. but Gianna explains to them and then she turns to me.
"Simon, these are the other volunteers, they don't know English like us, but they have worked here for years. This is Sofia," she points to the woman who is waving at me. "She has worked here for many years, more than any of us. And this is Nina's grandmother, Lorena." The woman waves at me too and calls Nina to go to her side. "And at last, this is our aunt Paola."
"It is a pleasure to meet you all," I say smiling and Gianna translates for me. "So, this is like a family heritage?"
"Something like that. It’s free for everyone who wants to join us, but the leadership always falls to someone in the family. Sofia and Paola are cousins." She explains.
"That is so nice." I wrote that down.
"If you want, you can help us to answer some letters." She offers.
"I'd love that." I smile at her.
She indicates a chair for me to sit on, and while I go there I take my phone to see if Agatha called, but she still didn't. So I just put it aside and take the old letter, which luckily was written in English.
Juliet,
I don't fucking know why I'm writing this. I feel so dumb for writing to a fictional character, but I have nobody else. My parents could never know what is passing through my mind, if they did, they would forbid me to do what I'm thinking, and my older sister would agree with them, so I think you are my last hope.
Let me tell you how everything started. I'm from London and I just finished high school. As a celebration, my parents gave me and my sister a trip through Italy and we chose to come to Verona because it felt romantic, at least for me. Tasha agreed to come because of the architecture, she doesn't care about romance, and she already has her love waiting for her.
But anyway, on our first weekend here I met Nico. I don't know how I could describe him. But I know that I felt something different from the first time I put my eyes on him. And I know he did it too. I have known him only for a few days, but I'm in love, I know that I'm. But my parents would never allow me to date someone like him. We come from a rich and proud family, and Nico is not any of that.
Yesterday he told me that he loved me too. He asked me to stay with him, but besides the problem with my family, there's another big problem. Nico lives here. And I'm going back to London this week. I said that to him, but he asked me to run away with him.
He must be crazy. My parents would disinherit me, I would bring shame to the family's name. I know I love him, and I would love to be with him, to have a future with him. But if I choose Nico, I will lose everything else.
I don't know what to do. I never thought I would love someone as I love him. And I certainly wasn't expecting to love him so fast and so intensely as I do.
So, tell me, Juliet, what should I do? Should I follow my heart or my head?
I hope to get your answer soon.
Fiona Pitch,
October 1987.
I read the letter a couple of times before starting to write an answer. I don’t even know if Fiona still wants an answer, or if she still needs it, but I feel that I need to write one for her. Maybe I had to find that letter. Maybe somehow I was meant to find it. To change the life of this woman. Maybe destiny interfered.
So, I start to write with my heart and I lose track of time while I keep thinking about the right words.
When I finally finish, the sun is already down.
"What time is it?" I ask, impressed by how time could fly.
"Almost nine," Giulia answers me.
"Already?" I take my phone, it has five missed calls from Agatha. "I have to go back to my hotel, my fiancée is waiting and I didn't tell her I was going to come here." I take my things. "Can I come back another day?"
"Yes, and please bring your fiancée we'll love to meet her," Gianna says.
"I will. Thank you." I give goodbyes to everyone. "And here, I finished writing this letter, can you post with the others?" I give the letter to Gianna.
"Yes, tomorrow morning I'll post it."
"Thank you. See you all soon." I wave to all of them and go back to the street, trying to find the hotel.
It takes some time, but eventually, I do find the right street and in ten minutes I'm at our room's doors.
"Finally," Agatha says when she sees me. She looks mad. "Why didn't you answer your phone? Where were you?" I'm surprised she is this mad, she usually just stays quiet, rolling her eyes and looking disappointed.
I don't know what to say, so I just sigh and sit in bed.
"I waited for you to call me the whole day," I say frustrated. Lately, everything about our relationship has frustrated me. "So, when I got tired of waiting, I found a place that I found interesting and that will be the subject of my next article. And I honestly don't know why I'm telling you since you don't care."
"I do care." She almost growls.
"Of course you don't. You don't think my job is as important as yours." I feel the anger rising in me. "Every time I try to tell you something about my job, about what I'm working on, you just stop listening and talk about another thing. Usually your job." I try not to shout but it is hard.
"Oh, please Simon, I'm sorry if my job is more important and right now is demanding my attention. You are just frustrated that I have a better job, that I make more money than you." She shouts.
"What? I don't care about any of this shit, and if you knew me, you would know that. I'm fucking proud of what you accomplished, I always said that I prioritize your job over mine because I know how important is to you, but you never do the same for me. You don't even listen when I talk to you." We're shouting at each other like we never did it. And all of it just because I didn't answer my phone. Agatha looks surprised at me. I close my eyes and sigh. "We should rest, we woke up early and we are tired. I'm gonna take a shower and sleep. And tomorrow we can keep whatever this is." I go to my bag, to take my clothes, without saying anything else.
When I leave for the bathroom, Agatha is still in the same place, looking like it was the first time she was seeing me.
...
We didn't talk the next day. She was on her phone when I woke up and I just left to meet the secretaries. I was more than ready to read the problems of someone who is not me.
I stayed there the whole day, and it was very nice. I learn more about Verona and the whole Romeo and Juliet story. And they even teach me a few Italian words that I'll forget soon. Agatha doesn't call me, and I'm honestly relieved. I don't want to talk to her right now.
It is very late when I go back, and when I get into our hotel room, Agatha is already sleeping, which makes me even more relieved. I end up sleeping on the sofa. Our room was unnecessarily big, it looked almost like a flat, but right now I was grateful for it.
The next two days are not better. On Sunday, I tried to talk to Agatha, but she said we can talk about it later, but we don’t, so I do the same thing I did the day before.
On Monday I woke up first and dressed myself to go again to help the secretaries. But this time I left a note to Agatha with the address, in case she wanted to go there. I just want to fix everything so we can enjoy our trip.
"Your fiancée is not mad that you're spending your time here?" Giulia asks me when I appear in their place.
"She is busy with her work." I shrug. "Can I observe you today? I wanted to take some pictures too if there isn't a problem." I show my camera.
"Is not." Giulia smiles. "Please, make yourself comfortable."
I sit in the chair I've been sitting in the last two days and start to write what I learned and saw since I got here. When I finish, I take some pictures of them writing and talking, and then I go back to Casa di Giulietta to take pictures there too. I stayed there for more time than I anticipated.
I take pictures of the place and the people, the sad and happy ones. There are a lot of tourists today, some of them are just here to also take pictures, but most of them want to leave a letter. I read some small notes and take pictures of them too.
When I see it's already past lunchtime, I go to eat something and then I go back to the secretaries. I spend the whole afternoon trying to write my article. It is not good yet, but I think I'm going somewhere.
The sun is almost set when I decide that maybe I should go back to the hotel and talk to Agatha. We couldn't just stop talking in the middle of our holidays. I'm about to take my things when the door opens and the most gorgeous man I already have seen walks in.
He looks like a model, coming directly from Fashion Week. His grey eyes search through the room, and he doesn't look very pleased with what he sees.
But for some reason, I feel mesmerised by him. I don't know what it is. The way his black hair falls in his face, or his intense gaze, or anything else. I don't know. I just look at him not knowing what else to do.
"Can someone say to me who the hell wrote this?" His British accent snaps me back from my thoughts.
I recognize the letter he is holding as the one I wrote on my first day here. The letter to Fiona Pitch. I'm about to stand and say that I wrote it when he finally looks at me and locks his eyes on mine.