Archive of Our Own

The Green Hunter Murder

Mistrex Delloso de la Rue was weaving their way through the packed dance hall, they had on their new black dress, which was doing wonders for their figure and several strings of new pearls they had bought themselves after their last successful case.

If they were being truly honest with themselves, they had also bought them in the hopes they might run into Detective Inspector K.P. Hob while wearing them at some point. The pearls draped down and drew the eye to Rue’s scandalously low neckline.

They were planning on swinging by the police station, fully decked out in their outfit, but first they had stopped by the local club at the bequest of their old friend Squak. The man was a daring rake, prone to drinking, gambling, and causal sex. Rue and Squak got along like a house on fire, and had often fallen into bed together after a night of dancing. There was nothing more to it than a bit of fun, although if that was why they had been summoned they were genuinely debating turning down a night of sex to go and bother Hob at the station, they had it bad.

Squak was restless and ill at ease when they saw him, and trying to sell them a plane he didn’t use. Why the grandchild of the man who invented birds would need a plane they weren’t sure. Squak insisted it was his cousin’s, and she had declared it a lark to fly in a plane instead of using their ability to fly.

Rue was uneasy in purchasing the plane, though they would love to have one of their own, when it did not technically belong to Squak and he was acting so shifty.

Before they could pry any deeper, Apollo swooped in and stole Squak away to a back room. Rue knew the two occasionally slept together and had left them be, but not without clocking the harsh whispering between the two that did not seem like intimate foreplay.

They were tempted to follow, but Squak’s paramours were his own, and Rue knew better than to stick their nose in.

They also got distracted by Sorwen, the Sea Wall, asking them to dance, and who was Rue to turn down such an offer?

Sorwen and Rue danced to the soothing jazz that filled the air. During their dance, Rue asked Sorwen about his move from the Court of Stone to the Seafoam Court, and his collection of both Fable and Grabalba from Trickster and Goblin to create the band he managed. He spoke at length about helping to two marry and run away from their Courts.

Rue hummed, they were technically still part of the Court of Wonder but the death of their parent had led to their inheritance and semi-extravagant lifestyle, and they stayed away from Court as much as possible. It seemed to be a more prevalent position, being attached to a Court in name, but not in practice. At least, it was prevalent in the circles Rue ran in. There were still some who stuck rigidly to their Courts, their mind traitorously catching on Hob again.

Their conversation and stimulating dance with Sorwen was cut short by the smashing of glasses, a scream, and a body.

The crowd parted to reveal the prone form of Apollo, lifeless eyes staring up towards the ceiling, and Suntar crouched over his body looking both upset and infuriated.

Rue couldn’t help the small grin that appeared on their face, “Somebody get DI. Hob over here.”

*

Rue had secured the scene by the time Hob arrived, they had also smoothed their dress down and made sure the pearls they were wearing were draped correctly.

“Mistrex Rue.” Hob said, as he approached both them and the body, “How fortuitous to find yourself at the scene of another murder.”

Rue fluttered their eyelashes winningly at him, “Not by design, I assure you. However, I have secured the scene for you.”

The crowd was being pushed back by Constable Andhera, who waved delightedly at the sight of Rue. Rue waved back at Hob’s excitable young protégé.

“At least someone is pleased to see me.” Rue said, and turned back to Hob just in time to see him admiring their outfit before his eyes darted back to their face. They grinned and sidled up to Hob’s side, “Now, the deceased is called Apollo. That is his business partner, Suntar, whom I believe is related to your constable. He was stabbed with what appears to be a small blade, there was no magic on or around the wound, and he had a truly unnecessary amount of cash in his pockets.” Rue pulled out a bag filled with gold coins and handed it over to Hob.

Hob looked scandalised, “You went through the victim’s belongings?”

“I was bored, you really should work on your response time.”

Hob sighed, “Thank you, Mistrex Rue, now if you would please leave the detecting to the actual detectives.”

“Of course,” Rue winked, and Hob let out a flustered cough. They walked back over to the rest of the group, making sure to swing their hips as much as possible. They tried to catch sight of Squak in the crowd but he was nowhere to be seen.

They could hear Hob talking to Andhera though, his low baritone and commanding tone was making it difficult for Rue to concentrate, “Constable, we need to search everyone present for the murder weapon. Please begin patting them down.”

Andhera looked uncertainly towards the group of scantily clad club goers, “Pat down, sir?”

“Yes, constable.”

Andhera gulped and started awkwardly patting down each member of the club. Rue watched as the poor man got unbearably flustered at all the skin that was on show, lightly tapping over limbs, and not daring to go higher than people’s hems.

They wandered back over to Hob, “Surely you can name me an honorary constable. Poor Andhera doesn’t know where to look,”

“The practice will be good for them.” Hob insisted, although did wince when a flirtatious Grabalba all but stuck her leg over a kneeling Andhera’s shoulder, making the poor man skitter backwards in embarrassment. Hob’s eyes darted to Rue, “Has he mentioned anything to BINX about the Policeman's Ball that’s coming up?”

“BINX hasn’t said a word if he has,”

Hob pursed his lips and looked back at the constable, now performing the most gentlemanly of frisking on the bare chested Sorwen. Rue smiled at Hob’s matchmaking attempts, Rue whole-heartedly agreed that BINX and Andhera were adorable over each other, and they would be interrogating BINX as soon as they got home.

“I thought you might be dancing with Squak this evening,” Hob said quietly, “You often partner together.”

Rue grinned, Hob had kept his tone light, but Rue still detected a trace of jealousy in there, “I had spoken to him earlier but Apollo whisked him away for a rather heated talk before we could dance,”

“Squak was in an argument with the deceased before they died?”

“I wouldn’t call it an argument, more like, a few cross words,”

“And where is Squak now?” Hob said, already looking across the crowd of people.

Rue sighed, and admitted, “I haven’t seen him since.”

“He got into an argument with Apollo before he died, and has now fled the scene.”

“That’s not-”

“If you’ll excuse me.” Hob said, his expression hardened into the one Rue knew so well. Rue often referred to it as his ‘bloodhound’ face to BINX, the one he always wore when he thought he was closing in on a case. There was no chance of turning him back now.

Bugger it.

*

The next morning Rue woke to BINX bringing them breakfast as if it were their job. Rue sighed and let it happen, they had told BINX on multiple occasions that she shouldn’t have to wait on Rue hand and foot.

Technically BINX was of a higher status than Rue, the leader of their own court. However, they were also the only surviving member of their court. Rue had taken her in the moment they had found her, and now BINX lived with them. BINX’s tendency to be kind, and the fact they showed affection through act of service meant they were often confused as Rue’s maid.

Rue patted the bed next to them, and split the breakfast with BINX.

“Has Andhera asked you to the Policeman’s Ball?” They asked as BINX bit into her portion of toast and promptly choked on it.

“Ball?” They coughed.

Rue just hummed and smacked them on the back until the bit of toast had dislodged itself and BINX was breathing normally again.

“No, they haven’t.”

Rue nodded, “I think you might have to do things in an unorthodox manner.”

“Like?”

“You might have to ask him.”

“I can’t do that!” BINX protested, “I- He’s so- it’s not the done thing.”

Rue sighed, much like BINX, Andhera was an oddity when it came to his social standing, he was of a high ranking within his court, but did not act like it. He preferred to be shunned by his court and take up a job, much to their family’s horror, or they shunned him because he took up a job. Rue wasn’t entirely sure which. It made an interesting parallel between the two; both of them simultaneously of a high standing by birth and low standing by choice.

“Sometimes you have to take control of your own destiny, oh Weaver of Fate, and go after what you want.”

“Are you?” BINX asked, pushing the focus on to Rue with a wiggle of their eyebrow.

Rue grinned and polished off their breakfast, “Oh absolutely. In fact, you can help me dress. I’m going to meet D.I Hob later today.”

BINX looked excited, “For lunch? Where are you going?”

“The morgue.”

BINX sighed dejectedly, “Hopefully not for lunch then. Does he know you’re going?”

“Not yet. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

*

D.I. Hob did not look amused to see them, although he had pleasingly stumbled when he caught sight of their outfit for the day. A pastel lilac dress with a modest high collar, long sleeves, and full skirt. However, they had black and white striped ribbons across their chest, hips, and knees, giving them an exaggerated hourglass figure, complete with a parasol and large brimmed hat adorned with feathers and peonies.

“You cannot enter a morgue like that.” Hob insisted, although he didn’t stop walking when Rue fell into step with him on their way in.

“Why ever not?”

“You’ll- it’s not a place for finery.”

“It is if I’m in there. Come on now Inspector, now is not the time for dawdling.”

Rue continued into the morgue, and Hob sighed and followed without complaint, waving off the coroner’s protests that Rue could not be there.

“You’ll find it is easier to simply let Mistrex Rue do as they please.”

“Glad to see you’re finally learning, Inspector.” They teased, grinning when Hob gave them a fond look of annoyance.

The coroner proceed to go over the autopsy results, ending with the conclusion that the wound was small and neat with minimal tearing, and entered the body at a horizontal angle that would suggest a rapier or similar weapon.

Rue deftly removed their hat pin and held it aloft for inspection, “Or one of these?”

The mortician confirmed it was more likely than a rapier, particularly given that the murder happened at a dance.

Rue could see Hob trying not to smile at the mortician’s reluctance to admit Rue’s theory more plausible than his own. After he finished his report, Rue and Hob left together, Rue expertly sliding the pin back into place.

“Do you know where your friend Squak might be, we have been trying to track him down for the last few days,” Hob said, falling back into his rigid police protocol.

Rue sighed, “I have no idea. Squak likely has many friends to crash with when he is not at home. I shall try and get in contact with him but I can assure you, Inspector, he is not the type to murder.”

Hob looked unimpressed, “Often in this line of work, you must face uncomfortable truths, and finding out those close to you are capable of viscous acts in one of them. I hope you are prepared for the possibility, Mistrex Rue.”

His words were harsh but there was a pity in his eyes that softened the words. Rue sighed, and tried to unruffle their own feathers at the words, and remind themselves Hob was only trying to be kind.

“Thank you, Inspector. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to tell you if I find him.”

“A likely story.”

Rue just grinned and blew him a kiss as they left.

*

Rue realised they had not been putting as much effort as they should into tracking down Squak, and so they called on Squak’s closest friend Theodore for some more information as to his whereabouts.

Squak had never been the romantic sort, however, his most constant bedfellow was Theodore and if he had no idea where Squak was, then no one did.

“Thank you for meeting me at such short notice, Theodore.” Rue was simply glad that their dear friend Wuvvy had been able to part from their medical career long enough to call in a favour with her friend from her old court.

“Wuvvy said it was about Squak’s wellbeing, and you know how much I would prefer him in one piece.”

“Of course.” Rue could certainly see why Squak favoured Theodore; the man was nearly deific in his build, “I was hoping you knew where he was, only, the police are looking for him and I would like to find him before they do.”

Theodore shook his head, “I’ve not seen him in over a week. Why are the police looking for him?”

“I don’t know if you heard, but a man by the name Apollo was killed several nights ago at the Green Mill club. The police think Squak did it.” Rue noticed the way Theodore flinched at the name Apollo, “You know the victim?”

“Never met him.” Theodore said flatly, “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll let you know if I hear from Squak.” He made his way quickly out of Rue’s house.

Interesting.

*

Rue decided to follow Theodore and see if he led them to Squak. He didn’t. He did however lead them to the flat Apollo kept in town.

Rue pulled up outside just in time to see Theodore clambering through the window. They grinned, it had been a while since they last made use of a fire exit. They managed to get up to the stop outside Apollo’s window, the climb through the window was more difficult than Theodore had made it look. Although despite his impressive build, Rue was still a seven foot tall owlbear and so was technically bigger than him, although definitely less muscled.

They managed to shimmy their way through the window with little grace, and while righting themselves inside the flat they caught a glimpse of a police car pulling up outside and Hob getting out.

He caught their eye from two stories below and gave them an unimpressed look and started heading towards the door to the building. Rue had to hurry.

They quickly found Theodore riffling through a filing cabinet filled to the brim with folders. He had located the one he wanted and was about to pocket it when Rue grabbed it out of his hands.

“What’s this?” Rue said, holding the folder behind their back. They could try and look through it, but Theodore had a desperate look on his face and they didn’t trust him enough to take their eyes off him.

“Give it back.” Theodore was getting angry, and starting to shift between this form and his feral one. Rue had only seen Wuvvy do it a handful of times, but it was plenty intimidating when it was their friend, let alone a man they only tangentially knew.

“Now, just remain calm. No need to do anything rash.”

“Give me the folder.” He growled.

The door to the apartment flew open with a crash, causing Rue to jump in shock, and Theodore used the distraction to rip the folder from Rue’s hands and try and make a break for the door. Rue gasped in pain as the folder was unceremoniously yanked out of their hand, twisting their wrist into an unnatural position.

Theodore made it halfway across the apartment before Hob grabbed him and wrestled him to the ground.

Rue knew logically that Hob was also seven foot tall, and under his layers of suit and oversized overcoat there were plenty of muscles, but seeing him easily pin someone as beefy as Theodore made Rue wish they had a fan to flutter.

Constable Andhera quickly darted in and took the folder out of Theodore’s hands, while Hob stood him up and handcuffed him.

Andhera peeked inside the folder and gasped loudly, Rue tried to sidle over to look but he snapped it shut before they could catch a glimpse.

“I’m sorry, Mistrex Rue, but this is a police matter.” They said seriously, and Rue huffed.

“Actually,” Hob said, “Mistrex Rue, if you wouldn’t mind also accompanying us to the station,” Rue grinned, and Hob smirked before continuing, “We need to charge you with breaking and entering too.”

Rue got close enough to brush their shoulder against Hob’s, “Are you going to put me in handcuffs too Inspector?”

*

“Mistrex Rue,” Andhera said, stifling a laugh, “You have to be serious.”

He ducked his head back down by the focus of the camera to take their mugshot, and Rue threw their hands up over their head dramatically and winked. 

Andhera pressed their hand over their face to hide his smile. 

He tried again, and Rue put their fingers around their eyes like goggles.

 

Hob came around the corner to see what was happening, “Mistrex Rue, you’re not wasting police film I hope,” 

“Absolutely not,” Rue sauntered up to him and daringly rested a hand on his chest, “These ones are for your desk.” 

Hob sighed, and tried to look disapproving, but there was a smile flickering around his mouth. 

Andhera coughed and the two of them stepped back from each other. 

“Rue?” BINX called, coming through the front doors of the station. 

Andhera nearly dropped the camera as he rushed forward to hold the doors for them, “BINX, how are you? I didn’t know you were coming- oh, what’s that?” 

Hob gave Rue a look and rolled his eyes, and Rue coughed to hide their amusement. 

BINX came in holding a large hamper full of food, and handed it over to Rue who immediately started looking through it and handing out snacks to an eager Andhera and BINX.

 

“I got your call, I hope this is all alright, it was a bit of short notice.” BINX said, and pulled out their mismatched set of teacups and saucers, and a small picnic blanket, which they set up on the counter.

“I thought you called your solicitor,” Hob said to Rue, pretending he wasn’t interested in the food being handed around.

“My solicitor can’t cook.” Rue said and bit into a jam tart. They moaned their appreciation for the incredible taste, “BINX you have outdone yourself. Perhaps you could plate up some food for dear Andhera here, while I have a word with the Inspector?”

Rue grabbed two plates full of food and started heading towards Hob’s office, Hob following closely behind. Rue wasn’t sure if it was because he also wanted to give Andhera and BINX space, because he didn’t want Rue riffling through his office, or because he wanted some of the food Rue was carrying.

When they got inside the office Hob took a seat at his desk, quickly closing folders and clearing away anything Rue might be interested in reading.

Rue let him do it and then perched on the edge of his desk. They held out a plate to him, and when he went to take it they pulled it back slightly.

“What was in the folder Theodore was after?”

Hob sighed, wrestling with his conscience and hunger for a moment, before he picked up the folder and held it out in one hand, and then raised his other hand ready to make the switch. Rue placed the plate in his hand at the same time they grabbed the folder, and the two items switched hands.

Hob tucked into the food enthusiastically, while Rue started reading the folder.

“Apollo was blackmailing Squak?” Rue said in disbelief, that was why he had needed money for the plane, and why Apollo had so much cash on him when he died, “Oh my- Squak is Airry Perry!” they hissed.

Hob just hummed around a mouthful of food.

“I know he is eager to protect this secret, but would he really kill for it?”

Hob swallowed the mouthful he was chewing, “Well, he will go to jail for it certainly.”

“For what?”

“The Green Hunter is in violation of the Obscene and Indecent Publications Act, I’m surprised he managed to find a publisher willing to print it.”

“A jail sentence for literature?” Rue scoffed, although it was true that The Green Hunter included more explicit scenes than it didn’t. They wondered if Squak had simply bought a publishing house, they would have to look into it, “So even if you find him innocent of murder, he will still go to jail?”

“For a few years at least,”

“That’s a ridiculous law, I’ve seen far worse things than people writing about sex,”

“I am a servant of the law, not it’s master. My hands are tied.” Hob said, at least looking contrite that Rue’s friend was about to head for a jail cell.

Rue merely glared at him.

“If it is helpful to your ongoing investigation,” Hob said, offering an olive branch, “Then you might wish to know that Squak’s cousin was also being blackmailed by Apollo. As was Grabalba.”

Rue tried to stay mad, truly they did, but it was a very intriguing bit of information, “Chirp and Grabalba?”

Hob nodded, “As well as many others, but none of the rest were near the club that night, and Chirp is related to our main suspect.”

“Are you doing alright?” Rue asked softly, “With Grabalba being a suspect?” They knew that despite the fact Hob was at odds with his court, that he had grown up with Grabalba and looked on her as something of a younger sister.

Hob fiddled with his hands, “I know Grabalba can be impulsive sometimes, but I know she is not capable of this.”

Rue nodded and squeezed his shoulder, refraining from pointing out this was their logic for knowing of Squak’s innocence, and that Hob’s comfort was to tell them to prepare themselves for the worst.

“Do you know why either of them were being blackmailed?”

“No, but I will be asking them during their interviews,”

“And when will you be doing those?”

“They’ve both agreed to come in tomorrow afternoon.”

Rue nodded, they had until tomorrow afternoon to try and uncover the truth before Hob.

“Well, Inspector, I have an urgent meeting I’m needed at. If you’ll excuse me.” They stood, and brushed an imaginary bit of dirt off his lapels.

“I’m still charging you with breaking and entering,” Hob said, although his voice was soft and he was staring at Rue’s hands still.

“I thought you were joking, besides it’s all part of the investigation. You were in his flat too,”

“I have to do the paperwork.”

“How about I catch the killer, and you name me an honorary police constable?”

“If you catch the killer, I think about it.”

Rue grinned, “If not, I’m sure there’s some other way you can thank me.”

*

Rue interrogated BINX on their way back home, but Andhera had done nothing but stumble over his words and not gotten around to asking them anything.

Rue sighed at BINX’s disappointed expression, “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll ask.”

As soon as they got home they sent off a message to Sorwen, the Sea Wall. They had seen there had been a photographer at the club, and asked him if he could bring as many of the pictures as possible. Their secret mission, that they didn’t tell him, was that they were also going to try and use him to figure out what Grabalba was being blackmailed over.

Sorwen came over, still bare chested, and apparently he spent all his time like that. Rue put on music, got them both two drinks deep, with the lights down low and the candles burning. They had put the pictures aside to go through tomorrow with a sober eye.

“So,” Rue said, taking a delicate sip of their drink, “Band manager, that must be a taxing job, managing so many creative people. I bet you’re constantly putting out fires.”

He grinned, “I manage it well enough. I’ve done this job for a long time. Course, the band members come and go, and the main two, Grabalba and Fable are no trouble. Except when they’re getting done for public indecency.”

Rue leaned in to his joke, and ran a hand down his shoulder. They wondered if Hob had ever caught Grabalba doing that, they could just imagine him getting all puffed up and indignant over it. Rue wondered if they would ever be able to get Hob to participate in a little public indecency themselves.

“That’s a marvel. A couple that never fights? Especially being so artistic, I thought all artists had a flare for the dramatics,”

Sorwen laughed and shuffled closer, “I’ve dealt with many. I actually helped Fable and Grabalba leave their courts and marry. Though it was entirely selfish, now I have the best singer and the best brass player in the business. The two of them can be quite sickening to watch sometimes they’re so in love. The worst I deal with is the noise complaints, singer and a brass player? They’ve both got a pair of lungs on them if you know what I mean.”

Rue hid their disappointment, not that they were hoping for Grabalba to be having an affair, but it would be an easy explanation for the blackmail.

They tried a few more avenues of inquiry disguised as idle curiosity but came up blank. In the end, they simply decided to enjoy the rest of their evening.

*

The next morning after Sorwen had left, Rue and BINX went through the pictures with a magnifying glass, looking for any clue as to what had happened that evening.

There was one picture that Rue kept returning to, one taken mere seconds before the body of Apollo had be found. The shot was of just in front of the stage, a couple having their picture taken in the forefront, Grabalba sending a shocked look towards the stage, presumably at Fable, as she passed behind the couple going to refill her and Fable’s drinks. Further in the background they could see Apollo dancing, and further behind that still, only visible with a magnifying glass, was a figure slipping into the club. At first Rue thought it was Chirp, the distinctive tattoo winding up their arm, but the closer they looked the less it looked like Chirp.

“Is that- a human?” Rue asked in disbelief.

*

Rue and BINX headed to the station to see Hob about the human in the picture, who was somehow linked with Chirp as she had the exact same tattoo.

“Thank you for this intel. I will ask Chirp about it when she comes in.” Hob said, and Rue smiled politely but didn’t budge, “I hope you don’t think I’m going to allow you to sit in on a police interview.”

Rue looked from Hob to Andhera, who was glancing nervously between BINX and his hands. 

“Inspector, perhaps we could continue this conversation in your office?” Rue said pointedly. 

Hob looked at them blankly, “Why?”

They sighed, “I have some information of a private nature.”

Hob nodded and the two of them retreated into his office. 

“So what did you wish to talk about?” Hob asked as soon as they crossed the threshold. Rue darted forward to stop him closing the door behind them. 

“I think Andhera is about to ask BINX to the Policeman’s Ball,” Rue whispered, closing the door to a crack and leaning in. 

Hob crowded close behind them, and Rue’s breath caught. 

It was ridiculous, Rue was a ‘scandalously loose’ fey according to their parent. They had enjoyed the pleasure of every sort of fey possible for millennia, they were as jaded as they came, and yet the warmth of Hob’s body pressed against theirs through layers of clothes was causing them to blush like a green fey. 

They tried to focus on Andhera’s stumbling invite but it was just as embarrassing as Rue’s bashful reaction to Hob’s proximity. 

“Lady BINX- I was just- that is, I was wondering- um, ah, never mind-”

“Oh,” BINX placed her cup back in the saucer with a decisive clink, “Andhera, will you go to the Policeman’s Ball with me?”

“Oh no, I mean yes! But I’m supposed to ask you!”

“Well, it’s only that it’s a couple of days away and I need time to make my dress,” 

Hob shut the door with a click. 

Rue turned to face him, his arm stretching over their shoulder.

“Oh.” Hob said, awkwardly retracting his arm, brushing along their shoulder as he did. 

“Do you have a date to the Policeman’s Ball, Inspector Hob?” Rue fluttered their lashes, leaning back against the now shut door. 

“Ur, no. I’m not really one to dance.” 

“What a shame.”

“Besides, the case takes precedence,”

“Let’s hope it gets solved before then,” Rue smiled and pushed off the door until they were nearly chest to chest with Hob, “I’m happy to let you take the first stab at interviewing Chirp, I’ll wait in the front until you’re finished,” 

“How generous of you,” 

They opened the door and slipped through it, smiling indulgently at BINX and Andhera before taking a seat and waiting for Chirp to arrive. 

*

Chirp arrived late and a little drunk, completely blowing passed where Rue was sat without noticing them. 

Rue huffed and despaired over their plan to collar Chirp before Hob got to her. Hob gave them a smirk over Chirp’s shoulder before decisively shutting the door to the interrogation room behind them.

Rue hummed. 

“Andhera, darling. Do you by any chance have a kettle?”

Rue let themselves in to the interrogation room balancing the tray with tea and cups in one hand.

 

“Mistrex Rue you cannot be in here!” Hob said. 

“Rue dear!” Chirp cried in delight, “I didn’t know you were here! Are you serving tea now?” 

“Just because it’s you,” Rue said, and set the service on the table in front of Chirp and started pouring. 

“So are you helping with the investigation?”

“Yes.” Rue said at the same time Hob said, “No.” 

Chirp glanced between the two of them and then smiled into her drink, “Ah, I see.”

“No you don’t,” Rue pointed at Chirp in warning, but Chirp just pinched a biscuit off the tray. 

“Well have a seat Rue, we can have a catch up,”

Rue sat down much to Hob’s increasing frustration, “This is not a social call, it’s a murder investigation.”

“Yes yes,” Chirp waved him off, “You suspect Squak, I know it’s not him. Rue, have you told your Inspector that it’s not Squak,”

“I’ve tried,” Rue said, taking a seat and pouring themselves a drink.

 

Hob looked as though he was about to bang his head against the table. 

“Lady Chirp,” Hob said, “Mistrex Rue cannot be present during this interview,”

“Why not? They work here don’t they?”

“They do not.”

“Not officially,” Rue added.

“Or unofficially,” Hob said, “I need to discuss matters you probably wish to keep private.”

“Oh there’s very little private from Rue,” Chirp leaned in towards the Inspector conspiratorially, “They’ve already seen me naked,”

“Multiple times.” Rue nodded, taking a biscuit from the tray.

Chirp laughed, “Don’t pretend you’re so innocent, you’ve returned the favour. Remember that Bloom party where we tried those gem drugs?”

“I think I was technically in lingerie,”

Hob let out a strangled noise.

Chirp continued on as if he hadn’t, “I think it still counts.”

“Oh, actually there was that time you walked in on me and Squak doing body shots,”

“You were definitely naked then,” Chirp said, running her eyes appreciatively over Rue, “I remember.” 

“Enough.” Hob said, “Lady Chirp, I wish to discuss your relationship with a human who was spotted at the Green Mill Club the night Apollo was murdered. The human in question has a tattoo identical to yours.” Hob placed the picture down on the table. 

“Ah.” Chirp said, putting her cup back on the table, “I’m afraid that’s rather a long story.” 

*

“A human.” Hob said in disbelief after Chirp had left. 

Rue poured him a cup of tea. Thankfully Andhera had brought in a fresh pot. 

“I never thought Chirp was going to fall in love, let alone with a human!” 

“Do you think that’s where Squak is hiding? The Material Plane?” 

“It’s highly likely,” Rue said, “Chirp didn’t seem surprised that Squak was also being blackmailed. Although how did Apollo even find out about Chirp and Esme?” Hob said, “He’s been blackmailing Chirp over it for years,”

“Andhera’s sister was Apollo’s business partner, and they say apparently the two have been doing some project involving the portals. Although he isn’t sure what.”

 

Rue hummed, “When is Grabalba getting here?” 

“You’re not sitting in on another interview.” 

*

“Would you like a cup of tea Grabalba?” 

“Thank you Rue, I didn’t know you worked here,” Grabalba grinned, shoving two biscuits in her mouth at once. 

“They don’t.” Hob said.

Grabalba shrugged, “Don't worry, I never took you as the sort to hire someone for nothing more than a pretty face, Hob, you get the stick out of your ass yet?” 

Hob rubbed his temples, “Grabalba. Why was Apollo blackmailing you?” 

Grabalba eyed Hob, her sharp smile faltering for a second. 

“We know he was blackmailing you, and we know you were in close proximity to the victim when he died,” Hob said. 

Rue remembered Grabalba had been carrying a tray of empty glasses in the picture, and the glasses had smashed before the body hit the floor and the scream sounded. 

It was possible for her to have killed Apollo, but what was the motive? 

“I killed Apollo.” Grabalba said, squaring her shoulders and steeling herself. Despite the lack of physical similarities between the two, Rue couldn’t help but think she looked like Hob. 

“You- what?” Hob looked to Rue in confusion.

“I killed him.” 

“Why?” 

Rue’s heart went out to Hob, for all his talk about Rue preparing themselves for Squak to have done something unthinkable, Hob had failed to prepare himself. So sure in his belief Grabalba was innocent. 

“He was blackmailing me. Hobby, do you remember that Apollo and I were engaged once?” 

Hob nodded and Rue looked curiously at Hob, he hadn’t mentioned that during the course of the investigation. Although Rue remembered rumours of a broken off engagement with Apollo, they just hadn’t realised it was with Grabalba. 

“Well it wasn’t broken off. We married in secret because Apollo’s court disapproved. We only stayed together for a month or two before I met Fable, and he got absorbed in his business with Suntar.”

“So he’s blackmailing you over the fact you two were married?” Rue asked doubtfully, there had to be something else.

Grabalba sighed and ate another biscuit, spitting crumbs over the interrogation table as she spoke, “No, he was blackmailing me over the fact we’re still married, he wouldn’t let me get a divorce.”

“But you’re married to Fable,” Hob said.

“Exactly,” Grabalba nodded, “Now you get it.”

“Grabalba you can’t be married twice.”

“That’s why he was blackmailing me, keep up Hobby. I thought you were a detective.”

“So you killed him?” Rue asked, “Why now? He’s been blackmailing you for a long time,”

Grabalba shrugged, “He kept asking for more. I got tired.”

“How did you kill him?” Hob asked, looking suspicious. Rue sighed, he didn’t want it to be Grabalba and so he was looking for discrepancies. They’d have to take him out for a drink after this. 

“I stabbed him with my hat pin.” 

“How did you get rid of it after?”

“I smuggled it out in my garter.” 

Rue remembered Grabalba purposefully making Andhera uncomfortable, and the man all but running away. 

“Show me how you killed him.” Hob hopped out of his chair and handed Grabalba a pen, “Show me how you stabbed him.” 

Hob crouched down until he was approximately Apollo’s height, and Grabalba sidled up and reached up to stab. Though she was much shorter she could just about stab up.

 

Rue saw what Hob was getting at, even though she could technically reached the height of the wound, she was stabbing upwards, whereas the coroner had said the blade entered horizontally.

 

“Thank you.” Hob said to Grabalba, “I’ll need you to write a confession.” 

Once Grabalba had written up her confession Hob all but dragged Rue out of the interrogation room. 

“I know!” Rue calmed him, his eyes wild with calculation and it was the most goblin they had seen him. They tried to focus on the matter at hand, “The angle of the blade is all wrong. She couldn’t have done it.”

“She’s protecting someone,” Hob said, “The only person she’d protect this much would be Fable, but he was on the stage at the time of the murder, and there was no magic present. How could he have possibly done it.”

“I don’t know,” Rue said, “But I will find out.” They rested their hands on Hob’s shoulders until he calmed down, “I promise.”

*

Rue was back at home trying not to bang their head on the table in frustration. 

“But how did he do it?” 

They looked at the picture with Esme in the background, the one where Grabalba was looking at the stage with shock, but Fable was out of frame. What had Grabalba seen him doing that caused her to drop the glasses? How do you kill a man across the room without magic? 

“I’m back!” BINX said, carrying a chicken under one arm.

“Please tell me that’s dinner and not a pet,” 

BINX grinned, “This is Eggatha. She’s only staying with us for a while. Mrs Moppet took a dart to the face during last nights darts tournament and I promised to look after her until Mrs Moppet is well enough to run round after her,”

Rue paused, “A darts tournament?”

“Yeah, Mrs Moppet had drunk a few too many and walked straight in front of the board, poor thing. Of course, Russell bless him, tried to claim there should more points for hitting a moving target-”

“But there wouldn’t be enough force behind it,” Rue muttered to themselves.

“There was plenty,” BINX said, “The whole tip of it went straight in the side of her head. Pity it didn’t hit her ear, she could have put an earring in it,”

“What did Sorwen say about Fable and Grabalba?” Rue said, trying to think back through the alcohol of that night.

“Rue are you listening to me?”

They gasped as it came back to them, “I need to see Hob immediately!”

“Are you going to tell him how you feel?” 

Rue looked at BINX in confusion, “I’ve just worked out how Fable killed Apollo, but I need to head to the Green Mill first,” 

BINX sighed and put the chicken down, “I’ll drive,”

“Wait!” Rue said and BINX froze, “I need to change,”

“What? Why?”

“Hob has already seen me once today, I need a change of outfit if I’m about to make a denouement.”

BINX looked confused, “Why though?”

“Does this outfit say denouement? No, it say police interview!” 

Rue hurried upstairs ignoring BINX’s sigh. 

*

Rue was wearing a light pink gown, with layered skirts that wafted beautifully when they moved, the sheer sleeves flying out behind them as they walked, and a large peony on the bodice, paired with a few more delicately placed on top of their head. 

They stopped by the Green Mill, the club barely open this early in the evening, only a few regular drunks in. 

Rue bypassed all of them and headed straight for the employees section. They got a few curious glances but they walked with the air of someone who was meant to be back there and no one stopped them. They probably thought they were meeting Sorwen again. 

They found Fable’s small box room, which was mostly a place to sit down and store his instruments. Fable was currently absent from the room but Rue had no idea how long that was going to last, so they hurried. BINX was undoubtedly already panicking in the car. 

They walked over to a small corkboard, noting the flyers from previous shows, reminders from different staff about times and orders. There were a few song sheets, littered with Fable’s handwriting and Rue noticed puncture holes in them, from what seemed to be a very fine blade, like the one you’d find in a hatpin. 

Rue looked and saw the mess that was the combination of Grabalba and Fable’s belongings, despite the fact that Grabalba had her own dressing room. They could see clothes and shoes of hers scattered about the place, looking as though they were removed in a hurry. 

Rue sighed, poor Grabalba, she was definitely going to hate Rue for this. Rue just hoped Hob didn’t. They grabbed Fable’s trumpet case, made sure it had everything in it, and then made their way to the car. 

*

The station was peaceful; the brief quiet between the bickerings and complaints of the day and the brawlers and drunkards of the night. 

Andhera smiled at Rue and BINX as they entered. 

“Mistrex Rue, I didn’t know you were coming back! Shall I get the Inspector for you?”

“Thank you Constable Andhera, that would be most kind,”

He rushed off to grab the Inspector, nearly tripping over himself in their bid to say hello to BINX. 

Hob came out a moment later with Andhera behind him. 

Unlike Andhera, Hob clearly noticed Rue’s change in clothes and the fact they were carrying an instrument case. 

“Change in career?” Hob asked.

“Just doing your job for you,” Rue winked, and put the case on the counter, they opened it and revealed Fable’s trumpet. 

“I don’t follow,”

“Well, I knew Grabalba was protecting someone, same as you, and as you rightly said, she would only go to such lengths for Fable. But he was nowhere near Apollo at the time of the murder, and there was no trace of magic present at the scene or on the body. So I started trying to think how he could have done it. BINX inspired me when she was talking about a darts tournament they were a part of,” 

“I won, although I did hit Mrs Moppet in the head with one.”

“That was you?” Rue asked, and then shook themselves, “Not important. I figured he used the hatpin as a projectile, of course just throwing it-”

“There wouldn’t be enough force behind it to do more than puncture a hole in a poor lady’s head,” Hob said.

“Exactly! However, Sorwen made a comment about how noisy Grabalba and Fable got, how they both had such a pair of lungs on them, and it made me think, what if Fable had some help with his projectile from an instrument.”

“You mean he modified it?”

Rue nodded at Hob, and then picked up the trumpet and it’s shiny new accessory, “Do you see this bit here? That’s newer than the rest, it’s been added recently, and if you slid this out,” Rue removed the added section to reveal a slot just big enough to fit a hatpin in.

They took their own out, dislodging a peony as they did. Hob’s hand darted out and caught it.

“Thank you,” Rue said as he handed it back. They balanced it on their head and then continued putting their hatpin in the modified instrument. After they had done so, they aimed it at one of the notice boards and blew as hard as they could into the trumpet. 

The hatpin shot out and hit the board with a thud, vibrating slightly from the force of impact. 

Hob looked between the board and then Rue’s smug expression. 

“I don’t know who is more creative. Fable for thinking it up, or you for working it out.” 

“Hob!” Rue said, pretending to be offended, “Me, obviously,”

“Obviously,” he said softly.

*

It had only taken the knowledge that Grabalba was going to be charged with murder for Fable to confess. Although Rue was satisfied that they had figured it out before Fable confirmed they were correct. He had found out that Apollo was blackmailing Grabalba, and threatening to tell everyone she was already married, so he decided to kill Apollo, that way Grabalba was back to only being married to one fey. 

The Trickster Court would deal with Fable internally, as he was so high up in the court, and Grabalba was heading there with him. 

Hob seemed smug that he was right Grabalba hadn’t murdered anyone this time, and Rue was equally smug that it hadn’t been Squak. 

Squak himself was still in hiding, likely in the Material Plane with Chirp and her family, he would likely resurface again when the police didn’t want to charge him for breech of the Obscene and Indecent Publications Act. 

Rue found themselves once again despondent without a case to keep them occupied, and it wasn’t until they saw BINX dressed in a gorgeous velvet dress with a high slit in the leg that they remembered about the Policeman’s Ball. 

“Is Andhera picking you up?” They asked, helping BINX fasten the last of their knick knack necklace. 

“Yes, we’re going to walk there, I thought it might be a good time to talk, get to know each other a bit more before the dancing,” 

“How marvellous,” Rue sighed longingly, “I could do with a spot of dancing,”

“You should come as well,” BINX said, “I’m sure Andhera won’t mind escorting us both,”

“That’s quite alright BINX, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your evening together. Besides, I think I know of a policeman without a date,”

BINX rolled their eyes, “Well, you best get dressed then, unless you’re going like that,” 

They pointed towards Rue’s nightgown, and they gasped dramatically, “Oh BINX! Do you think I shouldn’t wear this?”  

BINX swatted them playfully, “I’ll see you there!”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“There’s nothing you wouldn’t do!”

“Exactly!”

*

The police station was running on its night staff when Rue turned up. Though the light in Hob’s office was still on, Rue thought it was possible he lived at the station. 

They had decided to wear a long purple gown, with draped rows of small peonies and twinkling gems, long white gloves and their most elegant diamonds; in the form of a bracelet and tiara. 

It was most definitely over the top for the modest affair that was the Policeman’s Ball, however, Rue had never done modest in their life. 

They walked straight passed the front desk, Gorebladder and Scorple were working and they merely nodded in Rue’s direction and waved them through.

“Inspector Hob,” Rue knocked on the door as they opened it, and found Hob doing paperwork at his desk.

“Mistrex Rue,” Hob’s eyes widened as he took in their outfit. 

They shut the door behind them and sauntered over to his desk, making sure the swing of their hips caused the dress to twinkle just so in the lights. 

Hob scrubbed his face and leaned back in his chair.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“I was hoping to go dancing this evening,” Rue said, playing with a small loose thread on their glove. 

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time.”

Rue nodded, “The Policeman’s Ball in fact, although I fear I find myself without an escort there,” 

“Ah,” Hob said, “I’m sure Andhera would-” he trailed off at the look Rue gave him, “I’m not dressed for the occasion.”

Rue looked down at the suit he was wearing, those damned three-piece suits he always wore, “You look fine to me. As a favour? For solving your case.”

Hob grinned, “Fable confessed and would have done without your meddling-”

“Investigating.”

“Besides, I was going to give you this as a thank you.” He held up a file and passed it over. 

Rue quickly scanned the contents, “This is the evidence Apollo had that Squak is Airry Perry.”

“The only copy of the evidence as well. Of course, should it be destroyed, there would be no grounds on which to charge Squak.”

“I thought your hands were tied?” Rue started grinning.

“But yours are not.” 

Rue pressed the file to their chest, “Thank you,” they said softly and folded the evidence away in their bag to be disposed of later.

Hob coughed and shrugged, “The Ball?” He looked relieved to have changed the topic and then horrified when he realised what he’d changed the topic to. 

Rue held out a hand for him, and he stood and accepted it, folding their arm with his. 

“Tell me, Inspector. Are there any rules against a member of the force kissing a independent consultant?”

 

Hob looked at them confused, “I wouldn’t call BINX a consultant. Andhera would be fine.” 

Rue tried not to laugh, “And what about Detective Inspectors who bend the rules for the moral good kissing dazzling socialite detectives in their best gown?” 

“Oh,” Hob said, his hand faltering where it was about to open his office door, “That’s- there’s no rule specifically against it,”

“And how would you feel about testing the limits of this non specified rule?”

“Very good.”

Rue pressed forward, tilting their head down ever so slightly to catch Hob’s mouth. His arm wrapped around them and pulled them tightly into his body. The two of them stood there for a long time trading kisses until they stumbled into the door, the blinds loudly knocking against the glass.

“You okay in there boss?” Gorebladder called out, his tone bored.

Scorple’s wicked tone joined in through the door, “Are you being attacked in the good way or bad way?”

“I’m fine.” Hob called.

“Good way,” Scorple muttered, and Rue could hear money changing hands.

“Perhaps we could retire back to my place?” Rue asked, running their hands down the front of Hob’s suit.

“I thought you wanted to go dancing?”

“Well-”

“I hope you’re not going to stand me up now you’ve asked me to dance?” Hob grinned, holding out his arm for them to take.

Rue smoothed out their dress where it had been rucked up, “Absolutely not, though I am the type to kiss on the first date.”

“I look forward to it.”

They looked at Hob’s soft smile and his rumpled outfit, and wanted to drag him back to theirs immediately, but there was something else. A soft hope in his voice when he talked about dancing, and Rue remembered the jealousy when he spoke about Squak being Rue’s dance partner. Rue grinned as they realised just how much Hob wanted to go to the ball with them specifically.

“To the Ball.” They said, and they walked out of the police station arm in arm with Hob.