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They were caught by surprise.
That floor in Mementos usually had fewer, weaker shadows; however, as the Phantom Thieves made their way to the escalators, they were ambushed by a powerful group, led by a big shadow with a black two-handed sword.
“We’ll have to fight!” said Morgana. “Prepare yourselves!”
In an instant, they all had their weapons in hand, ready to face those shadows. Futaba shouted instructions to them from inside her persona, and the group changed their formation accordingly, so they could use the shadows’ weaknesses to their advantage.
Unsurprisingly, however, Ryuji didn’t wait for instructions before charging against the leader of the shadows, saying that he could handle it by himself, using physical and electric attacks in a sequence moved by pure instinct and no sign of careful thinking. Akira bit the inside of his mouth: Ryuji had been acting more and more recklessly as their group grew… Getting in front of attacks, or charging against foes without a second thought… Akira had lost count of the number of times he had shielded one of them from an attack, getting injured in the process.
Every time he tried to touch that subject, however, Ryuji promptly dismissed his concerns with a carefree smile, and Akira… He never insisted on the subject, afraid that it would end up in a fight between them.
Akira tried not to think about it, focusing on his opponents and nothing else. Yet, he couldn’t help but keep glancing in Ryuji’s direction, unable to silence the feeling that, sooner or later, something bad would happen.
Little by little, the number of shadows started to get lower. Most of the weaker ones were gone, and the ones still standing showed clear signs of exhaustion. Akira almost relaxed: maybe he was worrying too much…
“This one is weak against wind!” said Futaba.
Her words brought a grin to Morgana’s face. “Leave it to me!”
Morgana cast Garula, and the shadow fell on its back, dazed.
“Nice one, Mona!” Futaba cheered. “Keep it going!”
Morgana focused, casting Garula a second time. Instants before the magic attack could reach its target, however, a translucent wall was raised in front of it.
“A barrier…?” said Futaba. “Watch out!”
As soon as the wind magic touched that barrier, it rebounded in Akira’s direction. Akira evaded it just in time, only to hear a pained scream behind him.
“Skull!” called Yusuke.
Akira turned around: Ryuji was on the floor, with a pained expression on his face. Fuck… Captain Kidd’s weakness was wind magic. Ryuji wouldn’t be able to fight, or even move properly for some time.
Not far from where Ryuji had fallen, the leader of the shadows recovered from those previous attacks. It stood up, approaching Ryuji, raising its sword with both hands. Akira knew there was no way his friend could avoid that attack, and if that shadow hit him in that situation…
No…
Akira’s body seemed to move on its own. He dashed toward Ryuji, throwing himself between him and the shadow, using his back as a shield while he held Ryuji tightly against his chest.
There was a sudden, sharp pain in his back, which soon took his entire upper body. Akira gasped for air, but couldn’t breathe. He coughed, and his mouth was filled with a strong, metallic taste.
Shit… Shit, shit, shit…
He let out a mute scream when the blade was violently pulled from his back. Akira fell forward, his body refusing to move; his vision darkened, and his mind slipped away into unconsciousness.
Ryuji’s vision came back into focus in time for him to see the shadow raise its sword, an instant away from bringing it down against him. He couldn’t move… There was nothing he could do to stop it.
He knew it was just a matter of time until something like that happened… Still, the thought of dying like that filled his chest with a dull pain. He shut his eyes, quietly hoping that his mom wouldn’t be sad for too long.
After that, everything happened so quickly that he could barely follow it all: something warm closing around him, an impact, the sound of a raspy gasp followed by a cough, something falling against Ryuji’s chest, Ann’s sharp scream… Ryuji opened his eyes: Ann and Yusuke were facing the shadow that almost killed him. He looked down, and his heart seemed to stop.
“Aki…?”
Akira’s limp body slowly fell to the side, and, instinctively, Ryuji held him with both arms.
“Aki…” Ryuji lightly touched his face, frightened by how quickly it was losing its color. “What happened?”
No response. Akira wasn’t moving… He didn’t seem to be breathing. The sounds of the battle still surrounded them, but Ryuji’s mind seemed to turn off as soon as he noticed the red stain on his glove. He carefully turned Akira’s body to the side, still holding it against his chest, until he could see that deep wound on his back.
Only then did he understand what had happened: that shadow… the deadly attack that was meant for him… Ryuji’s entire body went cold.
“Aki…” He cupped Akira’s cheek. “Can you hear me? Please, open your eyes…”
There was blood everywhere… Too much blood. What should I do…? He had no healing items. There’s so much blood… It was all because Akira tried to protect him. If I don’t do something, he will…
Those thoughts seemed to crush Ryuji’s chest from the inside, making it hard to breathe.
“Aki, please…”
He couldn’t think… He could do nothing.
“Please…” he muttered, “don’t do this to me…”
Ryuji clung to Akira, as if that could stop him from leaving. It couldn’t be real… it had to be a nightmare. Not Akira… Please… Please, not Akira…
“Skull!” Morgana’s voice snapped him out of his panic, making him raise his head. “Leave Joker to us!”
Ryuji could do nothing but nod, allowing Morgana and Makoto to move closer. He noticed how Makoto winced at the sight of that wound, and his heart sank.
“Queen, Mona…” he mumbled between hasty breaths. “You can’t let him die… Please…”
“We’ll take care of him,” said Makoto. “Don’t worry.”
How could he not? After seeing that wound on Akira’s back, and his blood staining Ryuji’s gloves… If anything happened to him, what should he even do…? How could he keep going if Akira died because of him?
Those thoughts flooded his mind, to the point of almost suffocating him. Why…? He should be the one protecting them… If anyone had to get hurt, then it should be him, not Akira. So, why…? Why did he do something like that? Why shield him, of all people?
“His wound is closed,” said Makoto after a while.
Ryuji glanced at her, then again at Akira’s face. He was still pale… Still not moving.
“Why isn’t he waking up?” asked Ryuji.
Morgana placed his paw on Ryuji’s knee. “Skull, calm down. Just give it some time.”
Makoto nodded, then reached in his direction. “You got hurt too, didn’t you? Let me—”
Instinctively, Ryuji moved away from her hand. “I don’t need healing!”
She widened her eyes, taken aback. “Skull…”
He immediately regretted his reaction, lowering his eyes. He could feel Makoto and Morgana’s gazes on him, until Makoto took a deep breath, speaking again.
“Skull, I know you’re worried.” Her voice was calm, but firm. “But your wounds need healing. Please, just let me help you.”
He didn’t answer.
“Listen to her, Skull,” said Morgana. “Doing this won’t help Joker.”
Ryuji gritted his teeth. He knew they were right, but… “Fuck…”
Makoto approached him again, and this time Ryuji didn’t try to stop her. He hadn’t realized how bad his wounds were until the pain started to subside… He kept his gaze low, struggling between wanting to apologize for that outburst, and being fully aware that, if he said a word, he would start crying.
No more than a few minutes should have passed before the battle was over, but they seemed to last an eternity. In a moment, the rest of the team approached them.
“Alright, all shadows defeated,” said Futaba. “How is Joker?”
“Still unconscious, but he’ll be fine,” said Morgana.
His words seemed to reassure them. Ryuji lowered his eyes, unable to bring himself to look at their faces: it was his fault that Akira got hurt, and they knew it…
“Do any of you need healing?” Makoto asked them.
“Yes, please,” said Haru, allowing Makoto to heal a deep cut on her forearm with her magic.
Ryuji stayed quiet, the guilt still weighing in his chest. Someone approached him, making him raise his head: it was Yusuke, with a grave expression behind his mask.
“Their leader was quite tough, even with three of us fighting together.” A brief pause. “Why were you trying to face it on your own? You could have asked for our help.”
Ryuji couldn’t say a word, despite how obvious the answer was in his mind: he had to… If he didn’t, someone else would. And they would get hurt… And if they got hurt, Ryuji would never forgive himself.
Like now… He had failed in the worst way possible. He allowed Akira to get hurt because of him… Akira, from all people. His leader… His best friend.
Ann crouched by his side, looking at his face. “Skull…”
Ryuji opened his mouth, but instead of words, a small sob left his throat, and he only realized he was crying when the tears were already rolling down his face. Ann leaned in his direction, hugging him tightly.
“It’s alright…” she whispered in a gentle voice. “He’ll be fine.”
“He tried to protect me…” said Ryuji.
“I know, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“Panther is right,” said Morgana. “I was careless with my magic… I’m sorry.”
Ryuji shook his head. No… He was the one who should have paid more attention. Everyone was doing their part, and he… The only thing he could do was try to keep them safe, and yet…
“Joker!”
Haru’s voice brought Ryuji back from his thoughts. He looked toward Akira, who slowly opened his eyes, seeming dazed.
“Aki…!” Ryuji moved closer to him, touching his face with his hand. “Joker, can you hear me?”
“Hm…?” Akira’s gaze slowly turned to him. “Skull?”
Hearing his voice filled Ryuji’s body with relief. Akira observed him for a moment, then suddenly widened his eyes, jolting up.
“Skull!” Akira grabbed his shoulders, first looking at his face, then his body, as if desperately searching for something. “Are you alright? Did it hurt you?”
Ryuji stared at him. In no more than a second, his relief gave place to something else… Something sharp and hot, that filled his entire chest until Ryuji was unable to keep it all inside.
“Why the hell are you asking me that?” he yelled. “You almost fucking died in front of me!”
Akira blinked, taken aback. “I…”
Again, Ryuji regretted his actions when it was already too late. He pressed his lips into a line, crossing his arms and looking away from Akira. Yusuke placed a hand on his shoulder, but didn’t say anything.
“How are you feeling?” Makoto asked Akira. “Are you in pain?”
“No, I…” he thought briefly. “I’m just a little dizzy.”
“Not surprising,” said Morgana. “You lost a lot of blood.”
“We should take you back home as soon as possible.” Makoto stood up, then offered him her hand. “Here, I’ll help you walk.”
Akira took her hand, then placed an arm around her shoulders. Ann lightly touched Ryuji’s back, calling his attention.
“How about you?” asked Ann. “Can you walk?”
“Yeah.”
“Lean on me, if you need to,” said Yusuke.
Despite his answer, Ryuji ended up doing as he said, placing a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder, using him as support. Shit, everything hurt… Not only that, but his head was a mess, a bunch of thoughts clashing against each other, making it hard for him to think clearly.
Morgana changed into his car form, and slowly the others got inside. Usually, Ryuji would sit at the back, next to Akira, but this time he took the place at the front, beside Futaba. She observed him through the corner of her eyes, seeming about to say something; instead, she simply patted his knee, offering him a slight smile.
No jokes, no playful provocations… Damn, he should really be looking like shit.
The atmosphere while Makoto drove them to the exit was so heavy that Akira could feel it physically. He often caught himself looking at Ryuji, who didn’t look in his direction a single time.
That was so weird… He never had a fight with Ryuji before—not a real fight, at least. It felt wrong, and no matter how much Akira tried, he couldn’t relax.
As if noticing his restlessness, Ann brought a hand to his forehead, moving his hair back to take a better look at his face.
“You’re still pale,” she said. “Someone should walk you home today.”
Akira forced a smile. “I’ll be fine.”
“You know Mona and I won’t be able to carry you if you pass out, right?” said Futaba.
“Someone should accompany Skull too,” said Haru. “Just to be safe.”
“Don’t worry about me,” said Ryuji.
“You two…” Ann sighed. “Do you have to be so stubborn about this?”
Neither of them responded. After a few seconds of silence, Makoto spoke in a serious, determined voice.
“I’ll go with Joker.” She looked at Yusuke through the rearview mirror. “Fox, can you accompany Skull?”
“Of course.”
“Good,” she said. “It’s settled, then.”
With that, silence filled the car once again, until they reached the entrance area of Mementos. They jumped out of Morgana, who changed into his cat form. Slowly, they approached the exit.
Akira’s heart pounded anxiously: he didn’t want to go back home with things the way they were. He had to say something… But what? Before they could leave Mementos, he took a deep breath, looking in Ryuji’s direction.
“Are we really going to let things stay like this?” he asked.
Ryuji didn’t look at him. “Like what?”
“You know what I mean.”
No one said a word. Ryuji seemed hesitant to respond.
“Joker…” he said, finally. “Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“You know what.” He raised his head, looking at Akira. “Why did you protect me?”
His accusatory tone made the guilt weigh in Akira’s chest, despite knowing he had done nothing bad. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”
It was the truth, but the answer made Ryuji’s expression darken.
“You can’t be serious…” he muttered.
“Why?”
“Why…?” Ryuji shook his head in disbelief. “You almost got yourself killed! What’s the point in protecting me if you’ll get hurt in my place?”
Akira could only stare at him for a moment, incredulous. “Are you really saying this to me…?” A sharp irritation grew in his chest. “Who’s the one who’s always throwing himself into dangerous situations without a second thought? And how many times have you taken a hit meant for me? Just how many?”
Ryuji clicked his tongue, looking away. “You don’t get it, do you? If you get hurt, or something worse… It’ll be all for nothing! You’re our leader… We need you.”
“What are you even talking about? You’re as important as I am to this team!”
“You know I ain’t! Without you, there’s no Phantom Thieves. Without me… Things would just keep going.” Ryuji crossed his arms. “So, the least I can do is make sure that none of you get—”
Without thinking, Akira cut the distance between them, grabbing Ryuji by his scarf with both hands.
“Don’t you say it…” Akira muttered through gritted teeth. “Don’t you dare say it ever again! Whatever you told yourself about this… You’re wrong!”
“You know it’s true.” Ryuji reached for Akira’s hands, moving them away from him. “Everyone here is doing their part, and I… I’m just following along.” He hesitated briefly. “I just wanna make sure you’re safe… I don’t care if I get hurt for that.”
“But I do!” Akira retorted, gesturing around them. “All of us do… Why can’t you understand this? I don’t care if I’m the leader, or if you think you’re worth less than us for whatever reason you came up with! You… You don’t have the right to use us as an excuse to harm yourself!”
Ryuji silently stared at him, wide-eyed. Akira looked away, that sudden burst of anger cooling down as the seconds passed. He hadn’t meant to yell… He hadn’t meant to say those sharp words… But he was tired of pretending everything was fine. Ryuji lowered his gaze, taking a step away from Akira.
“I know…” Ryuji muttered. “I ain’t trying to get hurt on purpose… But keeping you safe is the only thing I can do.”
Akira almost responded, but something in Ryuji’s expression made him stay quiet. Ryuji shut his eyes, hugging his own arms.
“Please, Aki…” he asked in a weak voice. “Don’t take this from me.”
For a long while, Akira didn’t know what to say. It hadn’t taken long for him to realize how low Ryuji’s self-esteem was, but… he also thought that being a Phantom Thief and helping so many people, including his own group, was slowly helping him become more confident in himself, to the point of carelessness.
But that wasn’t confidence… It probably had never been. Ryuji’s self-loathing had only taken a different, more desperate form, and Akira wished he had realized it sooner. He lowered his gaze, struggling to find the right words.
“That’s not true,” he said, finally. “You were there with me from the beginning… The Phantom Thieves wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you.”
“I didn’t—”
“No, now you’ll listen to me!” Akira raised his eyes, meeting Ryuji’s gaze. “Maybe you haven’t realized this, but I’m only here because of you! Even if, somehow, I managed to survive Kamoshida’s palace without you, I…” His throat closed, but he forced himself to continue. “I was struggling to even keep myself alive back then… Do you really think I’d be able to do any of this if I hadn’t met you that day?”
A bundle of feelings he had carried in his chest for months suddenly grew too large for him to keep locked in, fighting to find their way out. Akira took a deep breath, trying to control them before they could overcome him.
“I never felt like a leader, alright?” he continued. “I just went with it because you guys wanted me to, but… I’ve always been terrified of it. Of messing up, and everyone having to pay for my mistakes…” He paused briefly, trying to organize his thoughts—turning those feelings into proper words was much harder than he expected. “But you… You were always there with me, so… I could endure it. Because every single time I felt like I couldn’t keep going, you were there for me. To support me, and listen to me, and…” His voice died down, and he took another deep breath before continuing. “I can only do this because you’re with me… I can’t go on if you’re not here.”
Akira leaned forward, resting his forehead on Ryuji’s shoulder.
“Please…” he added in a low voice. “Don’t ever say those things again. You don’t know how much they hurt…”
Ryuji didn’t react for a few seconds. Then, he raised his arms, pulling Akira into a careful hug.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He sighed, tightening his embrace. “I ain’t going anywhere, Aki… But I wanna keep you safe.”
“And so do I.” Akira moved slightly away, looking at him. “And don’t ask me not to… I won’t hear you.”
A faint smile took Ryuji’s lips. “You’re too stubborn, you know?”
The comment made Akira chuckle. “Look at yourself, Ryuji!”
Ryuji laughed briefly. Soon, however, his expression changed into something else, which Akira couldn’t properly decipher. Ryuji raised his hand, touching Akira’s cheek with his fingertips, meeting his gaze.
“You’re much stronger than you think, you know?” he said.
“And you’re more important to us than you seem to believe.” Akira made a small pause, reaching for Ryuji’s hand, lightly squeezing it. “Especially to me.”
Ryuji nodded, thinking for a moment. “I’m sorry…”
“Me too.”
Without another word, they tightened that hug, resting their faces on each other’s shoulders, staying like that for a long while. It was a relief to finally allow all of those feelings and worries out… and Ryuji probably felt the same way, considering all the things he had been carrying in silence as well.
“Good to see you got it all sorted out.”
Ann’s voice startled them both. Akira got so caught up in his feelings that he forgot that their entire team was still there, listening to every word.
“You two…” said Morgana in a low voice. “Have you always felt like this?”
Guilt weighed in Akira’s heart. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to say all that.”
Haru shook her head. “No… I’m glad you did. We wouldn’t have imagined it, otherwise.”
Ann took a deep breath, approaching them. She placed her hands on their shoulders, first looking at Akira.
“Joker,” she said, “we chose you as our leader because we trust you. We never meant to force this role upon you… If this is too much, we can find another way. No one will judge you for it… You can just be honest with us.” She turned her head to face Ryuji. “And Skull… You may not see it, but you did so much for us. You don’t need to push yourself this far just to earn your place in our team… You were always an important part of it, and will always be. There would be no Phantom Thieves without either of you.”
“Precisely,” said Yusuke. “We have only gotten this far because we stayed together. And we need to remain together if we want to face whatever might be waiting for us in the future.”
Ryuji nodded. “I’ll… try to be more careful. So…”
He glanced at Akira, who nodded as well. “Alright… I’ll be, too.”
Haru smiled in approval. “And if anything like this troubles you again…” She glanced at the others. “Any of you, don’t try to hide it, alright?”
“Yeah!” Futaba smiled. “If you feel down, I’ll give you all the head pats you can get. See?”
She approached them, getting on the tip of her toes to pat their heads.
“There you go…” she said. “Good boys!”
Akira and Ryuji exchanged a glance. Then, as if sharing a thought, both reached forward, pulling Futaba and Ann into a tight hug. Futaba squealed, surprised, but ended up laughing.
“Come on…” she said. “Are head pats not enough for you two?”
Ann giggled, then reached for their heads, messing their hair.
“You two are so much trouble…” she murmured fondly.
Soon, the rest of the group approached, joining them in that hug. It was more than a little clumsy, and they all smelled like sweat and dirt after that long fight…
And yet, Akira never felt as accepted and loved as he did at that very moment.