Chapter Text
Tommy has always been a runner.
When his mum and dad used to fight, he'd run. Run off to Freddie's. Run off to Eryn's. It didn't matter where, just that he was running.
When he was bullied, he'd run.
He'd hide, too, but mostly he'd run. He'd run as far and as fast as he legs could take him. Over and over they'd find him, and over and over, he'd run.
Once he moved out, life was slow and easy for a while. The troubles with his apartment were ones he could overlook, and he was genuinely having fun with his work.
But then Ranboo came along.
And things were better. Things were new. He started coming over more often, and honestly, Tommy was flattered. The drive over was 30 minutes, and Ranboo did it a lot.
Then they got closer, with Ranboo sleeping over, and the younger had never been happier.
They'd become more intimate, holding hands occasionally and holding each other late into the night. It wasn't explicitly romantic, yet Tommy was ecstatic. The human warmth that was Ranboo was so, so good.
But, things can't stay good forever. That's a fact that Tommy's known for a long time.
Now, it's the night before he leaves for the UK, the night before he starts a two week long vlog series. Him and Ranboo lie beside each other, face to face.
The window provides a moonlit glow to Ranboo's face. He looks ethereal. He looks.. fake, almost. Like Tommy can reach his fingertips out and he won't actually be there.
He's not going to risk it. But Ranboo doesn't seem so scared, his fingers brushing over the other's cheekbones.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks, tucking Tommy's hair behind his ears. He was thinking about him, but only a sap would say it—
"You. New York." Nevermind.
"What about me?" His hand slowly swoops down. "What about New York?" His palm holds the blond's jaw, carefully. Hesitantly.
"I'm excited." That answers both questions well enough. He tries to smile, but it's small. Sad.
"Then why do you seem scared?" Ranboo asks, pulling his hand away so that it can intertwine with Tommy's. Tommy knows that Ranboo will never truly understand what it's like. He's known he was gay for years. He's never had to run away from himself.
Still, he trusts him. "I'm running, Ranboo," he says, tears evident in his eyes and voice. "I'm running again, and I don't want to. I'm scared. I'm so scared."
"Why?" He whispers, so far.
"Because I want to stay here. Not, not just in the UK. Here. Where I am. But it's all changing. I don't want it to change." He's properly crying now, tears rolling down the side of his face and onto his pillow. He hears the youth in his voice.
"It doesn't have to." He can hear the same foolishness in the words that Ranboo chooses to respond with. They both know it isn't true.
And Tommy chooses to deny it by leaning forward.
And kissing him. With chapped lips, and tears slipping between them. It's quite a sad kiss, isn't it? But the kiss and how it feels isn't a surprise. It's been a long time coming. When they pull away, he just looks at him. "That's why I can't believe you."
"Can you believe that.. that wasn't as scary as you expected?" He smiles, and it's so real. Somehow that makes Tommy cry even more, but this time, it isn't bad. "Wait— I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"No, you're right." He says, laughter bubbling up in his throat. And he laughs, and it's joyous, and it's everything that he needs right now.
He kisses Ranboo again, but as their lips are interlocked, he sits up, then he stands. Ranboo doesn't stand with him at first, just watching in awe and laughing. "What.. are you doing?"
"Dancing." Tommy holds out a shaking hand. "Dance with me."
"There's no music."
"I know." Ranboo slides a palm against his and stands, letting his hands be directed to the younger's waist.
They dance like that for a while, circling around, eyes on each other, bodies almost a foot away. But then their imaginary music must change, because they pull each other closer, and Tommy can hear both of their heartbeats.
He thinks Ranboo can too.
"I'm gonna miss you." He admits, looking up at the brunet. Blond? Dirty-blond? Who knows?
"I'm gonna miss you too." They kiss again, before falling back onto the bed and back into holding each other. Tommy thinks that he has a bit of hope now. The kind of hope that is just what he needs for the next two weeks.