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English
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Part 2 of Aware
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2012-06-07
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4,608
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1/1
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Blessing

Summary:

Prowl's creator wasn't aware that denying his son his blessing was the worst thing he could have done...

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Prowl's creator wasn't aware that denying his son his blessing was the worst thing he could have done. But he had every reason to deny it! The mech he had brought home... he had to shake his head at the mere memory, what had his son been thinking? He had not raised Prowl to go crushing after low mechs, especially a Polihexian! Where on Cybertron they had met he had no clue and wasn't sure he wanted to know. There were few places where a mech like Jazz frequented. At first, he had thought them to be friends which, even if he disapproved, he would allow. But when his son timidly asked for his blessing to bond, bond with this, this Jazz, he had put his pede down. He couldn't believe he actually had to discipline and lecture his creation how was now supposedly an adult. Oh but he would have never raised his voice, never would have said how disappointed he was, never said those hurtful words about his own creation, how he couldn't believe his creation had turned out to be a low and ungrateful glitch. No he would have never said that, specially in front of Jazz had he been aware of what awaited him. 

 

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Steelwill sat with his optics offline on his one-mech sofa. He had some nice classical Praxian music playing softly in the background, a cube of the best Praxian high-grade next to him on a table together with a small dish of energon treats. 

He took a small sip and sighed contently, remembering the conversation he had had with his creation not too long ago. Prowl decided to make the right choice, as always. He couldn't blame the child though. Sending him to Iacon, where the culture and traditions differed so much from their own was bound to affect Prowl. But now that he had averted the catastrophe, Prowl would come home and Steelwill would make sure that his creation was never again tempted by outside influences. He'd reintroduce their culture and their traditions, together with the right connections for him to have as peers to his creation once he came back home. He had also already arranged for a meeting with the Praxus matchmaker so his son could get an appropriate mate.

He was cut off from his musings when the music suddenly stopped playing. He onlined his optics, his confusion growing as he noticed that the lights were off too. A blackout? Good mood ruined, he made to get up and head to his quarters to wait it out, but out of nowhere, he was struck, the blow making him fall back into the sofa, chains seemed to materialize around him, keeping him trapped. He panicked, ready to call for the enforcers when a jamming device was magnetized to his helm. 

"Who- who goes there!? I have nothing to give you!" He yelled into the darkness, trying to remain dignified in the face of danger. 

He was met with a sigh far, far too close to his audios to be comfortable. A servo was gently placed on his shoulder almost pityingly, making him flinch involuntarily. 

"Already forgotten 'bout me, when we had such a lovely meeting this morning?" Came a disappointed voice from behind him.

"I know not of what you speak!" He cried.

Another disappointed sigh reached him, the breath of the mech ghosting over his neck like a deadly touch.

"Show yourself!"

A pause, then the servo on his shoulder disappeared, followed by the ominous sound of pedes rounding the couch. Steelwill could feel the deadly presence moving around him, but he still could not see who this mech was and awaited with a sense of dread of who he would meet.

Suddenly, the small lamp on the table next to him came on with a click that seemed to mark the start of something sinister. It did not give too much light, intended to only light the bot next to it so as to leave the rest undisturbed. But the yellowish dim light was enough.

"You!" He screamed, fear turning into rage as he stared into the visor of the mech his creation had shamefully brought to his home earlier that day. 

"How dare you do this! Release me at once or you will be sorry! I knew there was something wrong about you apart from being a low Polyhexian! Prowl was a fool to ever accept your company, I will have to discipline him again, his stupidity over this matter has-" 

He didn't get to continue his ranting as he was backhanded, hard. 

Shocked into silence, the silver mech could only stare at the visored mech in outrage.

Jazz, standing a few paces away, slowly stalked forward. Steelwill crushed the impulse to move as that visor was trained so intensely on him. Standing between Steelwill's legs, Jazz looked down at him, his expression blank. Then, he slowly leaned down until their faces were inches apart. 

"Ah didn't come here ta listen ya badmouth yer creation and mah lover. Ah will not allow it from anyone and ya are no exception." Jazz said eerily calm after a moment of silence. 

"Lover!?" Shirked the silver mech in outrage. "Are your audios malfunctioning? I made it clear that you were nothing to Prowl, not anymore. He has wisely seen his fault and cut all connection to you. He wants nothing from you!"  

Letting out a disappointed sigh once again, Jazz lazily took something out if his subspace, and leaned back towering over the mech restrained to the sofa. Steelwill blinked shocked as something was rapidly tied around his mouth and he realized with a mix of fear and rage that the Polihexian had gaged him. 

"Like Ah just said, Ah didn't come here ta hear what ya have ta say. Ah heard enough this afternoon. Nah, now ya're gonna listen ta what Ah have ta say and ya will listen and listen good." Jazz's calm tone took on a hint of menace, his frame tense.

"Ah also came ta make ya change yer mind about not giving Prowl yer blessing so we can bond." He started, tone casual once more as he started pacing around the room.

"Now, Ah could care less 'bout yer blessing. Meeting ya like Ah did today, Ah don't want it. But fer some reason, it'd mean the universe ta Prowl." Jazz said, coming to stand in front of the petrified mech once again. "All those things ya said ta him earlier, it tore him apart. Ah swore when Ah first started courting Prowl that I'd tear any who hurt him in any way." He started circling Steelwill again, slow and predatory-like. 

Standing behind him, Jazz let out a frustrated and disappointed huff. "But Ah can't do that with ya. No, that would hurt Prowl even more. Ah don't know why he loves ya so much, after all the slag ya put him through and after ya hurtingly said those words ta him. The fact is he does loves ya, and yer death would hurt him deeply."  

"So," Steelwill flinched as arms snaked from behind him, limply hanging from his shoulders like a lazy hug. "Ah can't kill ya, but Ah can make sure ya never, ever talk ta Prowl like that again." One of the servos suddenly came up to grab his throat in a tight grip. Steelwill panicked, was this the mech his son had connections with? Who he associated with!? He had to warn Prowl about the danger he was in! What in the pit had he gotten himself into!?

"Ah don't like ya." Jazz said like he was talking about the weather. "Many times Prowl has told about yer unique… upbringing methods. Ya really screwed up his emotional and social programs, and he has hurt because of it. He's been insulted, looked down upon, shunned, bullied, and flat out rejected by everyone around him. All because of ya and yer stupid ideals of raising up the perfect sparkling." Jazz sneered. "Ya have any idea how much he suffered?"

"The thing is," He continued casually as if the earlier threat had never existed in his voice, " ya never asked Prowl what he wanted. Did ya know he wanted ta study music? He would always go ta the free concerts in the Crystal Gardens, but before he could ask ta be put in music classes ya made it clear what ya thought about those that persuaded that career, that they were almost always left to the gutters of the slums. How they became lost in the delusions music caused and became deranged. He confessed that it had been his one desire, but he had kept his vocalizer off and studied allllll those datapads full of information that no youngling should have to deal with at that age, only ta please ya, so at the end of the joor he could feel a pat on his helm and hear the words 'good job' come out from yer vocalizer. But ya never did say them, did ya." Jazz asked, his causal and calm voice turning into poison. 

"Ya never let him out, always picked his… friends, snotty brats that didn't even care 'bout him. Ya had him home schooled, depriving him even more of society. Forced 'im ta enter the Autobot academy even if he didn't want to."

Steelwill tried to move again, sounds that were most likely curses coming through the gag in his mouth. 

"Oh but ya knew that didn't ya. It was the first time he had ever stood up ta ya, and what did ya do?"

His hold on the mech's throat tightened, and he twisted Steelwill's head so he could glare into his optics. "Ya threatened ta disown him if he didn't join, ta claim him dead ta ya, and how could sweet, loving Prowl say no after hearing those cruel words?" 

"No, Ah never liked ya. Every time Prowl would talk about ya, Ah'd see it. Ah'd see the sadness and the hope, the hope that one joor ya would accept him as he was, accept his choices and dreams, shining in his beautiful optics." 

He let go with a defeated sigh of Steelwill's throat, starting to pace again.

"It'd make me want ta punch ya fer the pain ya caused him ta live with. With the feeling of failure in everything he did, even if it was perfect, he would never be satisfied. He put his duty above everything else, everything just had to be perfect. Not because he wanted to or because it was needed, but because he thought that it would make ya proud. And ya never cared."

 "Primus, ya messed him up so much he didn't' want ta go out with me at first and ya know why?" 

He let out a maniacal laugh. "He knew ya wouldn't approve. Even if he wanted ta be with meh, all he was thinking about was yer reaction." 

Steelwill struggled again, fear bright in his optics. 

"Eventually he agreed ta a date. He was so scared, always looking around him fer you. He loves meh, but ya made yer approval be the first priority in his processor didn't ya. Ya made him scared of yer rejection."

"But Ah managed ta get him ta not care about ya eventually. Ta just let go and do something he wanted, be with someone he wanted. And ya know what?" He demanded as he stopped in front of Steelwill again.

He leaned into the mech's face, servos supporting himself on each of the armrests, faceplates once more inches away from each other. "Fer the first time in his life, he was happy."

Steelwill screamed through the gag in rage at his words. 

"We've been going out for a couple of vorns, and Ah popped the question just the other joor. And Primus Ah have never see someone so happy and scared at the same time. Ya know what pissed me off the most?" He asked menacingly.  

"His first words weren't 'Yes'. No, " He sneered. "They were, 'my creator won't allow it'." 

A deathly silence reigned in the dark room. Steelwill couldn't' move an inch at the penetrating glare the other was giving him. Jazz's claws had sunk in the armrests, his frame tense and poised to pounce at any moment. 

"So we came, Prowl a nervous mess, ta ask fer yer blessing. Primus ya don't see yer son for vorns and all ya think about when ya see him is 'I trust ya haven't been a nuisance at work!?'" He screamed, letting a bit of his rage out. 

Jazz had felt Prowl's carefully gathered courage wilt at that 'greeting'. After the traditional formalities 'which should not have existed in a family', Prowl had timidly, almost frightened introduced him to his creator. Jazz thought he deserved a medal for being able to act cheerful and smile at the mech that had put his lover through emotional pain all his life. 

"Fer all the politeness and respect ya drilled into Prowl ta display when in company, ya fell real short on yer own lessons; greeting me with a scowl and refusing ta shake my servo. Though Ah was relieved, just being in the same room with ya left me feeling dirty." He snarled. 

"And when Prowl told ya he wanted ta bond with me." He shook his head, disgusted. "It took all mah will not ta offline ya then and there for what ya said."

Oh he remembered the exact words that had left his lover an emotional mess, head bowed in submission and shame, doorwings as low as he'd ever seen them on his back, servos shaking slightly, and an aura of hopelessness surrounding him like a mantle. 

 

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'Creator, I have come to ask for your blessing." Prowl started, building up enough courage to make his voice steady. 

Steelwill frowned. "Blessing?"

"Yes I, "He paused and turned to grab hold of Jazz's servo, his faceplates lighting up with a fond and adoring smile meant only for him. "We, wish to bond. I would-"

"BOND?!" 

Prowl had flinched and instinctively wilted, taking a step back at his creator's outraged scream. His servo had tightened, searching for comfort and balance. 

"You wish to bond with this, this Polyhexian!? I have taught you better than that!" He spat. Jazz's smile was gone, replaced with a closed off expression, he gave Prowl's servo a reassuring squeeze when he felt the other start trembling. 

"Have you finally glitched!? I can't believe you have lowered yourself to his status. What have you been doing all these vorns Prowl? Attending pleasure clubs!? Oh Primus!" He yelled looking up, arms spread as if seeking guidance. "What have I done to receive such an ungrateful and stupid child? I have done my hardest to get you into contact with the best society in Praxus, yet you throw all my good intentions back at my faceplates? Shame on you Prowl. No, I will never give this union my blessing, so either state you are no longer my child and leave to bond with this trash, or do the right thing and come back home, where I'll have a decent mate waiting for you."

In the silence that followed, Jazz could hear his lover's systems whine in distress. Slowly, he tilted his helm to look at his lover through the corner of his optic. He did not like what he saw. Prowl's head was bowed in submission, his frame radiating shame and anguish. The grip on his servo tightened before going limp, Prowl carefully letting go.

He watched with a sense of dread as the mask that he had worked so long to break down came back full force, zero emotion displayed on his faceplates, no life in his optics.

"Yes, creator." He said in a firm but low voice, no emotion in it. Even his frame had stopped shaking, almost as if he had gone back into that drone-like shell he had created long ago. 

"Prowl-" Jazz started, turning to face his lover desperately. 

"Good. Now, leave and take time to repent on your atrocious actions. I will call you when I have made an appointment with the matchmaker." Steelwill said in a calm and professional voice as if the cruel words yelled before had never existed. 

Jazz turned with a sneer to face him, his frame radiating anger, his stance threatening to attack. How dare this mech treat Prowl like this? Vorns and vorns of work to get the younger mech to open up to him, to show emotions, to simply smile had gone down the drain in a kilck. 

"As you wish." The visored mech's anger died as he whipped his head to stare in shock at his lover, but Prowl refused to look at him, optics glued to the floor.

A pleased sound escaped Steelwill and Prowl did a low bow before turning and waking out of the house. Jazz took a moment to look back at the silver mech and deal him with a murderous glare before running after his lover.


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Prowl had already transformed and was rushing back to his apartment when Jazz caught up with him. 

"Prowl!" He called, but all he received was silence. Desperate, he kept trying to get his lover to answer him but to no vail. It was late when they reached Prowl's apartment complex. As soon as they transformed, Jazz launched himself in front of the doorwinger, servos coming to grasp his arms.

"Prowl!" He yelled, afraid he had lost him. Jazz searched his optics for any sign of recognition.

"I am sorry Jazz." The visored mech was startled by the low words, "I am sorry, but I can not bond with you." Jazz could clearly hear the denial in those words. 

"Prowl, ya don't have ta listen ta what he says. Ya don't need his blessing." He had tried, gently taking Prowl's head with his two servos, making him look at Jazz, the pain in his lover's optics was overwhelming. "Ah love ya, and ya love me. That's all we need."

Still, Prowl averted his optics to the ground, shame, guilt, and hurt in them. "I'm sorry, I can't! I'm so sorry!" It had been the first time Jazz had seen Prowl cry. It had shocked him so much that he could only stare frozen as Prowl extracted himself from Jazz's servos and turned to walk away. 

It was visible for all that looked that his spark was being torn apart. 

Jazz's shock slowly turned into rage. Once again, Prowl had been hurt by one of the mechs he loved. Once again, Prowl had to suffer because of a mech's selfish acts. Once again Prowl was obligated to let something he loved go just to please his creator. 

Jazz had had enough. 

 

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Jazz sighed, mocking disappointment and casually said, "Ya see, Ah was willing ta give ya a second chance, but ya wasted it. So now Ah'm gonna make it clear fer ya. Either ya give Prowl yer blessing, or Ah'm gonna make yer life a living pit. Take into account everything Ah said. Are ya really that sparkless ta hurt yer child to such degree?" He demanded, voice growing. "Ya're breaking his spark! Ya didn't see him when Ah got him ta talk ta me!"

In one swift motion, Jazz had hacked into Steelwill's processor, uploading the last image of his lover, as well as all the fear he could and a small taste of what Jazz could do given free reign.

 

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Slowly closing the door behind him, Jazz let out a small sigh before turning his gaze up to the moons. Primus he was tired. Turning back to stare at the door of the home of Prowl's creator one last time, he transformed and headed back to his own apartment. He needed rest, the night had left his exhausted emotionally. Tomorrow, he'd deal with whatever came. He just prayed for Steelwill's sake, that he did the right thing.

 

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Panting, fear still overpowering his frame, Steelwill stayed frozen right where he was, unable to believe that the recent events had actually taken place. The visored mech’s words still hunting him. He could not accept all of what he had been told. But the harsh words had made him accept one thing, and one thing alone. Prowl was his own mech, and at an age where he did not need his approval for all of his actions. He still thought that his creation should stay away from this mech, the mech that had appeared to be a demon in his optics. But one thing was for sure. Prowl would never be unsafe with a mech like him by his side. Prowl could make his own mistakes, so it might be wise to let him start with this bonding. 

 

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Jazz woke to frantic pounding on his door. Groggily getting up, he made his way to the door yawning widely. The pounding didn't stop and the visored mech got annoyed, frame still tense from last night's encounter, his anger too fresh. 

He opened the door quickly intent on letting the other know just how much the pounding displeased him. "What the fr-" He didn't get two words out before a white and black blur latched itself onto his frame.

Surprised by the sudden attack, Jazz stumbled and fell backwards into the apartment on his back.

"What the…" Groaning he looked down to see a familiar frame hugging the life out of him, arms going around his torso. Even if the mech’s faceplates were hidden in his chest, the quivering doorwings were enough to let him know who it was.

"Prowl?" He asked worried as he sat up, his lover still not letting go.

"He said yes." Was the muffled response. 

"What?"

Frame shaking Prowl slowly let go of the visored mech and sat up. Jazz stared at the state his lover was in with concern.

His cheeks were stained with tears, his optics dim but showing relief and a small smile that would have been breathtaking if not for the trembling lips.

"He said yes!" He said louder as sobs escaped him. "My creator called me and gave me his blessing!" Prowl was now crying openly and trying to hide it, a servo covering his optics. "He said yes." The doorwinger whispered to himself in disbelieve. 

Realization hitting him, Jazz smiled fondly at his soon-to-be-mate. Slowly, Jazz got up from his half sitting half laying position so he could kneel down next to his sobbing lover and covered him with his embrace. Prowl only cried louder in happiness, arms coming back around his lover's waist to hug the life out of Jazz with a vengeance, his head stubbornly buried under his lover's chin to hide his tear stricken face. 

"He said yes." Prowl repeated is wonder. 

Jazz smiled, pleased with seeing his lover bursting with happiness, though a part of him was still angry that tears were being shed thanks to Steelwill.  

They sat there for a long moment, Jazz content to just hold onto his lover, caressing his back and doorwings in an attempt to calm him down. Prowl would not be moved from his position, not that Jazz minded. 

Once the doorwinger had calmed down and the sobbing was reduced to the occasional hiccup, he breathed a long sigh as if getting the last of his pain out.

"Thank you." He whispered lovingly. 

"Fer what?" Jazz tired to sit back to look at Prowl's faceplates but the doorwinger just tighten his hold on his lover's frame. 

"I know his sudden 'change' of spark was only due to something you did. I don't know what you said nor what you did to him to get him to give me his blessing."

"Prowl-"

"Shhh, " Reassured Prowl gently. "I'm not mad. I’m glad you did it. Though it hurts to know that he would never willingly give me his blessing, I am glad you got him to accept the inevitable."

Jazz kept stroking the panels and back of his lover while he listened silently, the first fear of being caught and hated for his actions gone. 

"I was contemplating bonding with you anyway you know." Prowl informed softly, a small tinge of pain laced his voice. "I love you too much to just obediently walk away this time. But, I wasn't sure I'd ever get over being dead to my creator." 

He sighed, bringing one servo to Jazz's chest plates and rubbing gently, almost mesmerized by the plating. "I know you can't understand why I love him so much after what he put me through but, I honestly wouldn't have known any better if it weren't for you."

Growing silent for a moment, he slowly let go of Jazz and sat up so their optics could meet. Dried tears stained his cheeks but his optics showed a peace that had not been there before. "He has made me who I am Jazz." He chuckled humorlessly before adding; "Maybe a bit glitched but, it's who I am and it's who you love, so I can only be thankful to him. I can not hate him, and even though he does not want this bond to happen, the fact that you made him accept it gives me the chance to still be able to see him in the future." He gave his lover a small tired smile, the lack of recharge the night before as he wallowed in pain and despair and his recent crying episode, coupled with the emotional stress robbing him of his energy. 

A knot in his throat, Jazz reached out to Prowl, servo cupping his cheek in a gentle yet firm grip. 

"Ah'd do anything fer ya. Ah'm sorry yer creator was forced inta accepting this, but Ah don't regret making him do so. Yer right Ah don't see why ya love him so much, and it was that love that stayed my servo from ripping his spark out of his casing." He said, a flicker of a dark shadow in his optics. Prowl shivered at the words but didn't hold them against him. "Ah can't really share yer gratefulness to how he raised ya as ya had to go through a lot of pain and hardships, Ah would have loved you all the same anyway." He said softly, his thumb gently caressing Prowl's cheek. "Ah'm glad Ah at least managed to prevent the pain he wanted ta inflict in ya by disowning you as his creation, and even if Ah don't want ya anywhere near him Ah'll let ya, cause it's important ta ya." He smiled teasingly as he added; "Just don't make me come with ya 'kay?"

Laughing Prowl could only nod. 

Standing up, Jazz looked seriously down at his lover. "And yer not glitched. Say that again and Ah'll be forced ta punish ya." 

Wilting, Prowl nodded and bowed his helm, but a servo gently grabbing his chin made him look up into a the smiling faceplates of his soon-to-be-bonded. 

"Starting now." Jazz said grabbing Prowl's servo and helping him stand. "Let's go ta my room so Ah can properly, " He leaned into the other's personal space, purring into his audio. "Educate ya, yes?"

The doorwinger let out a small chuckle, realizing the tease. 

"Yes." He breathed, desire and longing replacing his exhaustion. There would be time to rest later.  

Pulling his lover in for a chaste kiss that soon become not so chaste, never parting Jazz maneuvered them so he could close and lock the door to his apartment. 

FIN

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