Chapter Text
Hange added Armin Eren Mikasa Connie Sasha Krista Ymir Reiner Jean Bertoldt Erwin and Levi
Hange: HELLO GANG!!!
Hange: Since the whole eren titan fiasco we’ve decided it would be best to get to know you all juust incase something happens again
Levi: no we disnt
Eren: what the fuck
Levi: Langusna
Eren: Wtf
Erwin: I fully agree, I’d happily get to know our new recruits!
Mikasa: do we really have time for this?
Levi: no
Hange: yes.
Krista: omg hi
Connie: YOOO IT’S THE COMMANDER
Sasha: COMMANDER!!! ALL HAIL!!!
Erwin: Ha ! Ha !
Levi: wathj gioin on
Eren: is no one gonna talk about corporals’ spelling?
Jean: Id rather live, thanks
Eren: stfu I didn’t ask you
Jean: shut up It was an open question
Eren: go munch on a hay bale you twat
Levi: languagse
Hange: okay so I’ll start
Sasha: omg
Hange: my name is Hange! I use all pronouns and I’m pan
Connie: I thought you were human???
Ymir: very funny chrome dome
Krista: Its when you don’t have a preference for who you date
Eren: OOoh like armin?
Armin: dude
Eren: oops
Erwin: I am Erwin Smith and mark my words, I will lead humanity to victory.
Erwin: also he/him and gay
Mikasa: That’s kind of a surprise tbh
Hange: Levi?
Levi: levi gay heeheiom
Eren: dude
Eren: are we actually going to ignore his spelling???
Jean: yes
Hange: Yes
Mikasa: Yes
Krista: Yes
Ymir: Yes
Armin: yes
Erwin: yes.
Connie: yep
Sasha: yes
Eren: wtf
Ymir: moving on, im ymir and I use she/her but I don’t really care
Ymir: also lesbian
Krista: What a coincidence im also she/her and a lesbian lol
Ymir: lol.
Sasha: Sasha! She/They! I love food!
Connie: im a boy and I like girls
Mikasa: umm she/they, I’d rather not disclose my preferences
Hange: totally fine! thanks for sharing anyway
Erwin: thumbs up
Sasha: did he just type out an emoji
Erwin: ?
Eren: I am Eren Jaeger, and I vow to annihilate all titans! I swear on my humanity I will kill every last one and ill get my revenge and ill avenge those who have fallen.
Jean: That wasn’t the question, moron
Jean: He/him, Bi
Armin: He/they, Bi as well
Armin: btw eren uses he/him and hes bi im pretty sure
Sasha: omg I didn’t know
Hange: Perfect! Was that everyone?
Jean: nope, reiner and bert haven’t been here, I think they might be busy
Erwin: That’s a shame
Eren: Im pretty sure I saw them in the barn half an hour ago???
Ymir: heh.
Ymir: im sure theyre totally not busy at all! Someone go ahead and call them
Hange: Oh!
Mikasa: Is that even allowed?? In the barns???
Levi: no.
Krista: @Reiner
Connie: …
Armin: … maybe we shouldn’t.
Ymir: @Reiner @Reiner @Reiner
Hange: @Reiner I SUMMON THEE
Reiner: WHAt
Reiner: IM BUSY STOP SPAMMING
Ymir: hyeyy reiner
Reiner: Hi?
Ymir: hows your buddy?
Sasha: Im not liking where this is going
Jean: Ymir.
Reiner: wdym lol
Ymir: hows your bff for life? Your one and only?
Reiner; um
Hange: HELLO!! YOU MUST BE REINER!!
Reiner: HI YES
Erwin: Nice to meet you young man, we are introducing ourselves at this moment in time
Reiner: Ohhh
Reiner: Reiner Braun, He/they, Gay
Krista: Youre gay ??????
Eren: YOURE GAY >?><:>
Connie: wtf
Reiner: what ///??
Mikasa: we all thought you were mega straight or something
Reiner: What why-
Armin: Well…
Eren: anyway wheres bertholdt?
Reiner: Oh um hes sleeping ill wake him up
Ymir: Sleeping in the barn? I wonder why hes sleeping in the barn
Reiner: what
Ymir: what
Reiner: what lol
Reiner we’re not in the barns lol.
Sasha: I see you in there rn
Reiner: leave.
Mikasa: Trust me, just leave sasha
Armin: @Erwin is that allowed??
Erwin: well theres no rule against it so I’ll allow it
Levi: neo morew sezx in tge barenss
Hange: wakey wakey bertie
Reiner: @Bertholdt
Bert: hello
Connie: BERTTHLOT MY MANN!!
Sasha: BERTHOLODLODO
Bert: Hello friends
Erwin: Hello young man!
Bert: oh!
Bert: hello commander!
Hange: HELLOOO!!!
Bert: hi!
Reiner: you cant just keep saying hi, introduce yourself
Jean: c’mon you can do it
Bert: hi
Reiner: Bert.
Hange: don’t be shy little guy what are your preferred pronouns
Bert:,,,,
Reiner: bert..
Bert: hethey
Erwin: Good to know!
Armin: Whats you orientation if youre comfortable sharing?
Bert: left handed
Reiner: other orientation
Bert: hetero
Ymir: Buddy…
Krista: You don’t have to be shy about it we all came out!!
Hange: there is nothing you need to worry about kiddo
Bert: ???
Reiner: Guys hes straight
Jean: sorry pal but everyone here knows hes not
Eren: True
Mikasa: Yep
Ymir: I thought everyone knew
Krista: Yeah
Connie: Yea im kinda confused
Sasha: me too
Armin: Me three
Bert: Me four
Reiner: what
Eren: what
Bert: what
Hange: !??! so what are youo??
Bert: Heterosexual
Ymir: What is reiner to you?
Krista: Ymir- no
Ymir: he cant be this stupid
Bert: He is a very dear friend to me
Ymir: And what did you two just do?
Bert: Sleep together?
Connie: DUDEEEE
Sasha: PLS OML
Jean: HAHA BERT?????
Bert: What!!
Hange: im not sure what exactly is going on here
Bert: We slept together
Ymir: PLEASE DUDE-
Mikasa: what kind of bffs screw eachother?
Bert: ?!?!?!? wha
Reiner: I had a nightmare.
Reiner: We moved to sleep in the barn cuz it was quieter, we didn’t fuck.
Jean: Damn, sorry dude
Armin: Hope you feel better ☹
Reiner: its chill
Erwin: Im sorry to hear you have difficulties sleeping, is there anything we can do to help?
Sasha: food
Connie: yes
Sasha: More more food. We need a mini fridge and a normal fridge
Levi: no
Erwin: we’ll make it happen right away
Connie: I still don’t believe hes straight though.
Bert: 100% homo
Sasha: &TYFCVHI
Armin: Very mixed signals here, bertholdt
Bert: Hetero*
Bert: 100% hetero*
Ymir: Keep telling yourself that
Krista: Ymir stop
Ymir: Ofc my love
--------
Hange: Good morning my lovely specimines
Jean: your what
Krista: Good morning!
Eren: it’s a wonderful morning to be free
Mikasa: .
Jean: stfu jagger
Eren: I hate you that’s not how you spell my name
Jean: Idc eat shit
Hange: ANYWAY
Hange: I have an idea
Eren: oh no.
Hange: no need to worry its literally so good
Jean: what is it?
Reiner: Its three in the morning why are you awake.
Eren: Jean picked a fight with me
Reiner: at 3am??
Jean: he was sleep talking about his freedom and titan shit again.
Reiner: oh.
Hange: Steal Levis phone and install autocorrect on it!!
Eren: Good night
Jean: sleep tight, eren
Eren: Don’t let the bed bugs bite jean boy
Jean: aww thank you eren! Have wonderful pleasant dreams sweety
Eren: Thank you babe you too xoxo
Hange: do not ignore me wtf
Jean: Good night honey pie
Eren: Gn sweetcheeks
Hange: what the hell
Hange: guys
Hange: GUYS CMONN
Mikasa: @Jean count your days.
Jean: WHAT
Jean: ohhh
Jean: the good night messages were a joke x
Mikasa: 3
Jean: 3?
Mikasa: 2
Jean: oh.
Mikasa: 1
Bert: Hi guys not to trouble you or anything but someone is getting murdered I think
Ymir: That’d be jean, dw abt it
Bert: okay cool
Hange: BARTHOLOMEW
Bert: who
Hange: YOU.
Hange: go get levi’s phone for me
Reiner: bert come back im cold
Bert: ill be right there Rei
Reiner: okay but we’re switching, I want to be the big spoon
Eren: hetero activities
Armin: Completely hetero if you ask me
Bert: Sure thing, I just need to do something first if you don’t mind
Reiner: Not at all just hurry I miss you and its cold
Armin: no words
Connie: Speechless tbh
Connie: @Sasha r u alive
Sasha: Yes. Mission success.
Connie: WOOOOO
Sasha: WOOOOOOOOOO
Hange: OMG
Hange: BERTRUDE YOU WONDERFUL MAN
Hange: TYSM
Bert: =)
Reiner: Finished?
Bert: Ya
Reiner: come back
Bert: ofc
Ymir: gay
Bert: I love gays
Ymir: you love gay men?
Reiner: He’s an ally