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Evelyn isn’t sure when her suspicion starts to set in. One day, she surprises the Master with a cruel light in his eye, another, she sees him go a bit too far while ‘making things right’. She’s only a human, she doesn’t know a lot of things, however she knows enough to tell him that what he’s doing is wrong.
“I’m not sure I like this side of you, Master,” she tells him, with her hands on her hips. “Was it really necessary to put the fear of god in those poor offworlders?”
The Master, who’s still turning his coat inside out, so that the rainbowy exterior may be substituted by the black he usually wears, keeping all the colors hidden, sighs.
“My dear Evelyn. As you have seen, I had no other choice. If pretending to be a boogeyman will keep these people in line and prevent them from destroying each other, I am glad to play that role.”
“You seemed to be having a little too much fun with it.”
The Master lifts an eyebrow, his lips curving in a little smirk. “Maybe I was. I like to play the part of the villain, sometimes. A good actor must have range.”
He lifts his chin a bit and he waits for her to help him fix his bow. Evelyn sighs, but she complies.
“It is all in the name of doing good on the long run, Evelyn,” he says. “Regrettably, in a life as long and filled with responsibilities as mine, one has to make very difficult choices. It happens that, in such situations, there is no good choice. But only a choice between grey and more grey. Even black, at times.”
Evelyn looks at him in the eye. He has such beautiful eyes: light blue, transparent, honest. Suddenly, her sight becomes blurry.
“Evelyn? Oh, Evelyn… ” he says. “Don’t cry, please.”
“I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just-”
She hugs him and she hides her face in his coat. It’s made of many fabrics sewn together, and the rough texture on his shoulder scratches her cheek. He doesn’t react at the beginning, then she feels his arms close around her and his hands on her back. He’s cold. His body offers no warmth whatsoever. But she doesn’t mind. He’s holding her tightly, grounding her in the here and now.
“Evelyn, everything is alright,” he says. His voice reverberates in her body.“I will… I will do better. For you. I only ask one thing of you.”
Evelyn swallows, and she loosens the hug enough to look at him in the face. He’s extremely serious, his expression has nothing to do with the pout he makes when things don’t go his way or one of his childish temper tantrums that she finds a bit endearing and more than a bit ridiculous.
“What is it?” she asks. Her voice is still shaky.
The Master puts a hand in the inside pocket of his coat, and he takes out a colorful napkin with a black cat embroidered in a corner. He offers it to her.
“Promise you won’t leave me.”
Evelyn frowns. “What? I would never leave you.”
She means it.
The Master digs in her eyes, looking for any trace of deception. Then, he sighs.
“I know,” he says. “I believe you, my dear. But they all do, in the end.”
“I won’t.”
He traces the profile of her jaw with his fingers. He’s very delicate. “I hope you’re right.”
She expected it to happen while running away from a monster or while witnessing a particularly horrifying event, but things have the peculiarity of never happening when you want them to.
One day, Evelyn is carrying a tray with a freshly baked chocolate cake - she has the suspicion the TARDIS could replicate her recipe by now, but she still decides not to -, when she feels a sharp pain in her chest and her left arm. Suddenly, there isn’t enough air in the corridor. The walls close in on her, crushing her.
There’s a distant noise. The tray falls on the smooth surface of the TARDIS’ floor.
Someone is patting her on the cheek.
“Evelyn? Evelyn, can you hear me?”
She opens her eyes. Soft, blond curls lay around her. A familiar face is looking at her. The lights of the TARDIS make the Master's hair glow.
“Master…” she whispers.
“Are you alright? What happened?” He sounds so worried. Evelyn feels guilty about that.
She should have told him. What was she thinking?
How is she going to explain this to him now, especially when he’s looking at her like that ?
Evelyn has no time. She thought she was going to just going to accept her death at some point. She used to think she wouldn’t care if it happened all of a sudden and then it was over. But now, in this very moment, she’s afraid of dying. Everything feels so real. The smooth surface of the floor, the Master’s coat, so soft, and his cold hands, one wrapped around her own, the other on her back, keeping her up.
“It’s my heart, Master,” Evelyn whispers. “I’m not… I’m not well.”
The Master looks at her for a brief moment, then he nods. “Alright. Don’t worry, Evelyn. I will take care of you.”
As if she weighed no more than a wet bag of paper, he lifts her from the ground, holding her close to him.
“Master, I can… maybe I can walk.”
“Nonsense. Are you perhaps insinuating that I’m not strong enough to carry you, one feeble human?”
For once, Evelyn doesn’t snap back when he calls humans some declination of “weak”. She feels rather feeble at the moment.
“Of course you’re strong enough. Sorry for doubting you.”
The Master lifts his chin up in the air, still offended. However, his worry soon overruns his other thoughts.
“You’ll be fine, Evelyn. I’ll make sure of it. Rest, now. I make for an amazing doctor, you know.”
For some reason, that makes him smile to himself, as if he had made a joke.
Evelyn nods, and her head flops on his shoulder. She’s tired. Her glasses sit crooked on her nose, but she doesn’t have the strength to fix them. The Master will take care of her. She trusts him with her life.
Evelyn opens her eyes. The whole room is blurry. She can’t feel the familiar weight of her glasses, someone must have removed them while she was unconscious.
Evelyn pats the nightstand until her fingers close around the familiar shape of her glasses. She puts them on and she feels less lost.
“You’re gravely ill,” a voice mutters, somewhere on her right, in the dark. The only lights in the room are the candles placed on the writing desk, and they’re barely enough to make the Master’s dark silhouette visible.
“At first, I thought I had read the results wrongly. ‘This can't possibly be, Evelyn would never keep something this important from me’, I said to myself. However, I’m far too clever and good at this to be wrong. So, the other option, no matter how unlikely it sounded, had to be the truth.”
Her heart squeezes uncomfortably, and not due to her illness.
“Master-”
Suddenly, he lurches forward and he grabs her by the wrists. She has never seen him this angry. His light blue eyes are flashing, his mouth contracted in a snarl. For a moment, Evelyn is afraid.
“How could you lie to me like this?! How dare you. You can’t… you mustn’t hide anything from me.”
His breathing is labored, and he’s looking at her as if he desired nothing but to destroy her, here and now.
“Master. I’m sorry. I’m genuinely sorry,” Evelyn whispers.
Something in her voice, she’s not sure what, quenches his incandescent anger. His hold on her wrists loosens, even if he doesn’t let her go yet.
“Why,” he says again, hissed through his teeth. “Why did you lie? Why would you ever lie? Aren’t friends supposed to tell the truth to each other?”
“You have every right to be angry with me.”
“But?” he says, with a slightly unhinged smile. “There’s a but, isn’t there? There’s always a but, with you humans. Always some justification that you think could get you out of a situation scot free–”
“If I told you that I was…” Evelyn swallows. “… that I am dying, would you have taken me with you?”
The Master immediately lets her go, taking a step backwards. He seems indignated. “Of course not! Why would I take a sickly human with me? I’m not anyone’s nurse. Your kind already is useless and pathetic enough. Like this- you’re of no interest to me.”
His words hurt, Evelyn can’t deny it. But she lied to him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you saying that because you mean it, or because you’re hoping to make me forgive you? Because that’s not going to happen, I assure you. I do not forgive liars.”
Evelyn sighs. “Alright. I understand.”
“You do?” The Master laughs.
“You’re hurt. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just wanted… I wanted to see . The stars, the universe… history. You’ve shown me so many incredible things, Master. I’ll always be grateful to you for making my life so beautiful, right before the end. So, thank you.”
The Master looks at her in complete silence. He looks like she just slapped him.
Evelyn takes a deep sigh and slowly and carefully takes her legs out of bed. She's still wearing the same clothes from before.
“What do you think you’re doing?” the Master whispers, barely audible.
“Leaving,” Evelyn says.
She feels like a rug, but she needs to take her things and go. Now that the secret is out, the Master won’t want her around ever again.
“Oh, yes? And where will you go all on your own, hm?”
“Home, I think. I was hoping my condition would start to get unbearable later rather than sooner, but. Things never go like you want them to.”
Evelyn quietly puts her things in her bag. The same she took to the TARDIS a while ago, now. She lifts her eyebrows, when a cold, firm hand grabs her arm. The Master is looking at her with big eyes. There’s something child-like and unguarded to him.
“You can’t leave,” he whispers. “You promised. You promised you’d stay.”
Evelyn is taken aback. “You said you don’t want any ill humans to travel with you.”
The Master clicks his tongue. “Don’t ascribe to me words I’ve never uttered. I’ve never ordered you to leave. In fact, you’re not allowed.”
Ordered? Not allowed?
“I’m perfectly aware that you’re one untrustworthy little creature and that I would do good by getting rid of you,” The Master’s hold tightens around her arm for a moment, enough to become uncomfortable. “However, that would make things too easy. You may be a burden, but you’re my burden, now.”
Evelyn doesn’t know how to feel about that.
“I don’t want to weigh you down,” she says, trying not to mind the unsettling words he’s using. He’s angry. He’s not thinking clearly. He doesn’t really mean it. “I’ll go home. I’m sure you’ll find some other human to-”
“No. I’m not interested in any other human,” the Master says. “You will stay. You said you would. In fact, you’ve promised.”
“Yes, I’ve said that, but–”
“Here we go again. But this, but that.”
“Master…”
“Don’t make me repeat myself, Evelyn. You will obey ,” he says, and he gets uncomfortably close to her.
He's really starting to scare her, now. Why was he cornering her like that? If her heart didn’t give in before, it was going to do it soon.
“Now, let’s consider our options. It’s true that I cannot travel with a human who would die the minute I look away from them. So, we should do something about that, shouldn’t we?”
Evelyn freezes. “What- what do you want to do to me?”
The Master’s lips turn upwards, in an unpleasant, tight-lipped grin. It’s nothing like the smiles he usually gives her. She sees none of the affection she’s gotten used to - a mirror of her own affection for him.
The Master leans in. “Now, why would I ever tell you that, my dear Evelyn, and spoil the surprise?” he whispers, right in her ear. “I think it’s only fair, considering. You know what they say- what goes around, comes around. Now, please. Look into my eyes. They’re rather pretty, aren’t they?”
Evelyn looks down. That last comment has taken her by surprise. She usually found his vanity rather adorable, and she enjoyed looking at him try on a bunch of outfits every day, asking her how good he looked in them (the option that he looked bad, of course, wasn’t even available), but now- now it wasn’t charming at all.
“Master, please-”
“Answer my question,” the Master cuts her short. “And I might decide to let you go. Just might.”
Evelyn swallows. Then, she lifts her gaze, meeting the Master’s.
“There you are. That wasn’t so hard, right?”
“No,” she murmurs. She looks down again, a shiver going through her body. “Yes. You, um. You have very pretty eyes. Now let me go… please . You’re scaring me.”
The Master's hands on her arms are tight enough to remind her of his grip. She knows he could hold tighter, if he wanted to. He could hurt her.
“Scaring you? Oh, my. That might just be my intention,” the Master says. “Which color are my eyes?"
“I don't- blue? Why does it matter?! ” Evelyn cries. She managed to keep it in up to that point, but now her eyes fill with tears, and they stream down her cheeks. “Please, let me go, Master. I won’t- I won’t ever keep things from you again, please. I didn’t mean to upset you-”
“I know you haven’t done this out of malice,” the Master says. All of a sudden, his voice is as soft as a caress. It’s the same tone he uses when he’s reading a book to her or when he’s trying to be reassuring - he can be surprisingly good at that. “It’s the only reason why you’re still alive. You wanted to travel with me so badly that you had to lie, didn’t you?”
“Y-yes.”
“I appreciate the honesty.”
“And-”
“And? Do go on, Evelyn.”
She shakes her head. No, it would be stupid to say it now. And childish. He would think it’s a pathetic attempt at protecting herself. He’d be insulted by it.
“Evelyn. Tell me.”
“It’s silly.”
“Silly never stopped me,” the Master says. “As you might have noticed.”
Evelyn can’t stop herself from smiling a bit, and she lifts her gaze before she can realize what she’s doing. This time, she doesn’t look at his eyes for a brief moment. Evelyn looks deeper, and deeper, and she feels like there would be even more to see in those eyes, if she could just- just grasp what’s going on in there. His eyes are so unreadable. So alien. They're the one thing that makes you realize how foreign and otherwordly he is. They're cold, they're kind, they're… she isn’t sure anymore. She wants- what did she want? What was she thinking about? Her mind is so quiet. Her heartbeat slows down, and the Master’s hold on her arms loosens, as his grip on her mind tightens, but it’s so kind and gentle that she doesn't want to fight it. She’s too comfortable to do it.
“That wasn’t so unpleasant, was it?” the Master says, his smile softer than before. “What did you want to say?”
Evelyn feels confused. It’s very hard to think. She doesn’t want to think, actually. It’s much better to let the Master’s voice and his eyes fill her head with happy nothingness instead.
“Evelyn?”
“I…” she mumbles. “Yes, I…”
“The reason why you were so adamant about following me. Tell it to me.”
“Because I consider you my best friend,” she says, slurring her words a bit. “But it’s a bit silly to say it now. You’d think... I’m lying. I’m really not.”
The Master hesitates. Evelyn blinks, and her mind clears a bit. Why is she…? What is she doing? Why is the Master holding her like that? Is she unwell? Her knees are so wobbly.
“What’s- What’s happening?” she whispers. “Where am I?”
“Nowhere you need to worry about. You’re safe,” the Master says, getting a hold of himself. He looks at her, right in the eye, and her mind quiets again, her thoughts fading away like butter melting on a frying pan. “I’m… pleased to hear you think that. No one has ever…” The Master falls silent, then he moves a strand of hair away from her forehead. “You’re aware by now that you humans are insignificant creatures, right?”
She nods. He’s right. He’s always right.
“This is due to a lot of factors. For example, you live for such a short amount of time that none of your decisions matter and, given a couple of generations, everyone will have forgotten about you. On top of that, you often accomplish nothing and throw away the little time you have. The quintessence of dust, that’s what you are.”
“Yes,” Evelyn mumbles. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying, nor what he’s saying. His voice is just so calming and nice. Her mind feels very warm and lovely.
He cups her cheek with a hand, tilting her head back. She was nodding off.
“However , in extremely, extremely rare cases, you find a human who isn’t completely worthless and noxious. And that’s you, Evelyn.”
His hand is cold. But she doesn’t mind. She leans into it.
“So, I can’t let you go, you see. Even if you’ve angered me greatly. I suppose your little slip up is just your humanness, peeking through, making you do and think silly things. Even I behave in foolish ways sometimes, so, I will close one eye.”
“Thank you, Master.” He’s so nice. Always thinking of her. She doesn’t deserve such kindness, after she lied to him.
“If you have to travel with me, though, we still need to do something about that heart of yours,” he says. “I’ll fix it. Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll be merciful .”
He’ll be merciful. She’s so grateful for that. Her heart bursts with gratitude, even. Which isn’t- her heart isn’t really well, so she might have to take it easy with all these emotions.
“However, I’ll forgive just this once , Evelyn. You should remember that,” he says. Once again, he lifts her chin so that she can look at him. She’s very tired, her chin keeps sinking in her chest. “Look at me when I’m talking to you. Did you understand what I said?”
“Yes. Yes, I understood,” Evelyn feels compelled to say. It’s nice to tell him what he wants. He knows best, after all. “I’m sorry, I was listening, I-”
“It’s alright. You’re forgiven, there’s no need to get all worked up about it, now,” he says. “Come with me.”
Then, he just takes her in his arms and he brings her somewhere else. She rests her head on his shoulder, and she listens to his warm voice telling her things. She’s not even sure what he’s saying anymore. It’s just a quiet murmur in the back of her head, while she sinks. Down... down.
Evelyn’s dreams are quiet. It’s just her and the Master, sitting on a colorful sofa. She’s knitting, and he’s trying to learn from her. He isn’t very good at it. He keeps messing up his stitches, and his work looks more like a lump and less like a scarf.
“Stop laughing,” he says.
“I wasn’t!”
He shakes his head. “You were thinking about it.”
“My head is my kingdom, there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Oh, I could,” the Master says, in a strange tone. “But I won’t. It’s a lot more fun to listen to your musings.”
Evelyn smiles, even if it's a bit unsure. Would he ever…? No. He’s her friend. Her best friend. He’d never… he’s so nice.
“Where are we?”
The Master shrugs. “Wherever you want us to be. Your room?” He snaps his fingers, and the scenery changes. Evelyn is now knitting while laying in her bed. He’s sitting on his rocking chair, still just as impatient with his project. “Accursed stitches-”
“How did you-”
“Not to your liking?”
The Master snaps his fingers again, and now they are in a garden. It’s autumn. Soft leaves cover the ground like a carpet. It’s cold, but not too cold. Just right. She’s wearing her coat on top of the red cardigan, her favorite, and a pair of soft boots. The Master is still stitching, and he's a bit angrier than before. He’s sitting right next to her. He’s in his winter attire, with his blue cape on. Evelyn finds that cape particularly charming. Between that and his long hair, it makes him look like a fae prince.
“You’re doing it wrong,” Evelyn says. “You should be more patient.”
“Patient? Patient?! I am patient. I am the very portrait of patience. How dare you say I’m not patient?”
As he says so, he throws his knitting project, which falls into a puddle and gets soaked.
“Oh, no,” Evelyn says. She gets up.
“Let it! I don’t care about it anymore. I never cared.”
“Don’t be childish, now.”
“I’m not childish! Don’t ever say that. I’m not childish.”
Evelyn rolls her eyes and picks the project up. She goes back and sits right next to him. “Why did you ruin it?”
“There was no point in trying. I can never make anything nice.”
“That’s not true,” Evelyn says. “Why do you say that?”
The Master doesn’t answer. He looks angry. But, actually, he’s sad. Very sad.
“Oh, Master.” Evelyn puts a hand on his cheek, and gently turns his face towards her. He lets her do it. Between his eyebrows there’s that familiar little line of disdain that she’s grown fond of. “I’m sure that if you put your mind to it, you can learn to knit. You’re very smart, it is not beyond you. And it looks like you need a hobby.”
“My less than adequate knitting abilities aren’t the problem, Evelyn,” the Master sighs. He cups her hand with one of his own. Cold. Very cold. “It’s everything. Everything and everyone I touch, I destroy.”
Less than adequate? Evelyn had never heard the Master define himself as anything short of brilliant and majestic and magnificent . This was serious.
“Am I so bad for wanting a friend?”
“Of course not!” she exclaims. “You’re just… you’re nice. I like you. I am your friend.”
The Master sighs. “Oh, Evelyn. You’re too kind. I’m sorry.”
“You’re- sorry?”
“I’m sorry I am like this. Sometimes I wonder- all this rage. Where does it come from. I’m so… angry. All the time. I just want it to end. You shouldn’t have to pay for it. For my bad temper.”
Evelyn feels so bad for him. She doesn’t like it when he’s talking about himself in this way.
“You’re good company, Master.”
He scoffs.
“I enjoy staying with you.”
“You’ve enjoyed it, yes. I know, Evelyn. And I still struggle to believe it,” he says. He gently caresses her face, as if she were very precious and fragile, and then he sighs and lowers his gaze. “But, one day, I will hurt you, irreparably. Maybe I already have. You’re the one good thing I haven’t destroyed yet. I’m not as angry, when I’m with you. It feels… nice .”
“You won’t hurt me.”
“I will.”
“You won’t.” She takes his hand. “You won’t!”
He looks so miserable. She rests her head on his shoulder.
“That’s what I wanted to do, when I met you, though. Hurt you . You were a disturbance in the time web. I thought it would be fun to see what would happen to you, as history readjusted,” the Master says, his voice monotone.
Evelyn bites her lip. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. I’m a hypocrite, Evelyn. You hid one thing from me, but- I’ve hid so many from you. You should know. You should know just whom you’re traveling with, because you have no idea of how cruel and twisted I can be.”
She hugs him tight. “No,” she says, shaking her head.
“I need to let you go.”
“You’ll be alone.”
“Don’t remind me that! I’m trying to go against what logic tells me. Take advantage of a moment of kindness before I regain my senses, you foolish human! I will let you go, Evelyn. Now.”
“No, please- Master-”
“It’s for your own good. Be on your own. Do some knitting. Or whatever futile activity you humans do while you’re killing time until Time kills you. Goodbye.”
Evelyn wakes up with a jolt.
In a moment, she realizes that she’s not in her room on board of the TARDIS, nor is she in the Zero Room, where she patched up the Master a couple of times and he patched her up in return, all while muttering about how fragile humans are.
Evelyn is in a hospital bed. There are lots of wires and cables attached to her. She feels very weak.
“Slow down, grandma,” says a nearby nurse. It’s a young girl, with purple hair and bangs. She has a piercing on her eyebrow, and a big smile. “You’ve just come back from the dead.”
“Where am I?”
“Intergalactic Heart Diseases Facility. IHDF for short.”
“That’s the most unpronounceable acronym I’ve ever heard.”
The nurse smiles. “He said you were feisty. He wasn’t wrong.”
“He?”
“He didn’t say his name. He just said to take care of you, or he’d burn down the building. He paid cash, immediately. And then, he left.”
Evelyn swallows. “He left?”
“Unfortunately, yes. A peculiar fellow. But let’s talk about you instead, how are you feeling?”
“Uh. Alright. I’m alright. Why?”
“You just grew a new heart. That will make you a bit tired.”
Evelyn’s eyes widen. “Excuse me?”
“You grew a new heart. He said you’d react like that. You’re a human from a different time, aren’t you?”
Evelyn doesn’t know what to say. She’s… she grew…? Well, the important thing is that she’s okay. Is she?
“So this, th-this means-”
“That you’re completely healthy and sound. Your heart is back in shape. Well. Technically we disposed of the old one. I hope you don’t mind.”
Evelyn stares in front of her. “No,” she whispers in the end, bringing a hand to her chest. “I suppose don’t mind. Thank you for, uh. Saving my life.”
“You’re very welcome.”
The nurse finishes her check-up and then leaves her to eat a light meal of dubious origin - those purple spinaches wriggle a bit too much for Evelyn's taste.
She looks out of the window. They're in space.
The nurse says that soon they’ll be able to send her home, in her own time. It will be as if she had never left.
It almost feels like awakening from a dream.
She misses the Master, already.
Who will teach him that learning to knit is worth it, even if you can't get a perfect scarf right away?