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she was distraught, mercilessly emotionally destroyed. it felt as if a bullet had pierced her heart, but instead of a clean shot it lingered within the contracting beats. she was physically frozen in her state; jaw dropped, hand hanging by her ear, eyes glittering with tears. her fear of hearing those five, heart crushing words had become a reality and there was really no simple solution to undoing it this time.
a simple phone call after a successful opt. josephine dalton had been in a very celebratory mood, smiling brightly through the whole debrief. the original plan was to rendezvous to angus macgyver’s house and share laughs over bottles of cheap beer. but an unexpected phone call from an old contact had put the plans on hold, all hype had ceased to exist and not even crickets chirped in the silence.
josephine hadn’t let her smile falter when she picked up the call, not even registering who was actually calling. she’d answered with a cheery “hello” that had quickly sank as she heard the grim tone on the other end.
those four goddamn words were shared, heard, disbelieved. the nightmare shattering reality opened up like a rift, showing all the demons just smiling murderously as they took over. those four words no military family wants to hear; “he’s not coming home.”
it was like the metaphorical concept of time had completely stopped for josephine. her smile sunk into a shocked expression, jaw hanging wide open. her body had completely frozen, all she could hear was her own heart clenching. her dark eyes were glistening with tears, none that bothered to stay held back. the phone from previous mention had fallen onto the war room’s floor, most likely shattering the screen. her vision was blurry, very blurry. she didn’t feel her breath’s pace quicken. she couldn’t register reality as russ taylor pulled her into a bone crushing hug, or feel the concerned palms of the team. josephine knew the signs, a break down was surging faster than the speed of light. she could only mutter, repeat back almost in agonizing detail what she’d heard; “he’s not coming home.”
the team was puzzled, stunned. almost as if they had no memory of the mysterious he. they needed elaboration to confirm in the sickening, lingering fear was real.
mac had been the one to take the leap of faith, drawing closer to his shattering sister. “who’s not coming home?” he had asked, not fully embracing what may follow.
“jack,” josephine had replied, shakily through tears and being muffled by russ’ shirt, “my brother isn’t coming home.”
it was like one, unanimous heart broke. expressions fell and the news painfully settled in. matilda had silently turned her head, trying to conceal the pure weakness her face had shown. macgyver and desi gripped each other tightly, sharing the same earth shattering tears. riley had snaked her hands around josephine, just below taylor’s arms, and sobbed into her exposed jacket. bozer had stepped back from the group, staggering in his steps and falling against the wall.
the youngest dalton mumbled heart clenching words in an endless loop, trying to deny the harsh face of reality. “he’s not gone, he can’t be. jack promised, he never breaks promises.” she appeared to be like a vulnerable child, unable to compose herself or hide away. josie experienced the worst panic attack of her life that evening, in front of the team and the man she loved. she couldn’t stop it from coming, it just barged in like an unwanted lunatic.
russ had barely managed to get her home, into the safety of their shared house. he held her the whole way, whispering sweet nothings as his heart broke at the sight of her being like this. there was nothing he could do other than be of presence and service, his love had to go through the emotions to better process the reality.
he’d helped her change, made her lasagna, and tucked her into bed. he cuddled her close and let her release it all. he’d kiss her head lovingly and encouraged her to go on, as this type of reaction was necessary.
once josephine had calmed down enough to be coherent, she apologized to russ for the lost time. she noticed the duo was safely in bed, feeling just a tiny bit of appreciation for the man. the anxiety attack, the breakdown left her ashamed. she had fell apart in many broken, tiny pieces that she didn’t want to burden anyone with picking up.
josie had expected russ to yell, scold her for showing emotion. but instead, he was gentle. taylor held her tight at his side and ghosted his fingers along her exposed skin. “tell me about him,” he’d asked, “tell me about jack.”
the younger dalton loved talking about her brother, her family in texas. on any other day she would’ve cracked open a vault of stories, but now even the happy was painful to think about. but, alas, with russ’ encouragement she told her tale;
“jack dalton is the best brother i’ve had the privilege to have. i was born shortly after he turned eighteen, in nineteen eighty-five. he’d wanted to enlist, go off and serve his country in the art of war. it was all he talked about, how excited he was to protect the country he so highly valued. but when he came forward and announced he wanted to help raise me, our family was shocked. i wouldn’t have been alone, our other sister jenny was still at home. that didn’t matter, jack still insisted. when i was born, the first thing he said to me was how i was his whole world now. he raised me well in the southern traditions of texas. he taught me how to drive, read, fire a gun. jack loved me one-hundred percent of the time.”
josie smiled fondly, a different breed of tears pouring out of her eyes.
“we enlisted in the military together, in the same division. we ran the same delta unit, both as sergeants. our team quickly became well known, especially with the limited number of ally casualties we had. then in two-thousand and nine we got assigned a new bomb specialist, eod tech. his very first day he stuck his nose in jack’s stuff and touched it, something only i could get away with. jack and he started fighting, a full out wrestle. looking back on it, the event was hilarious. the commander knew they didn’t get along and was honestly tired of us, but couldn’t do anything except follow orders.”
russ stared at josie, eyes full of admiration and curiosity. he encouraged her to go on, getting interested in the story.
“coincidentally, the tech was our very own angus macgyver. jack was ready for his discharge, he was tired of the kid already. i actually got along with mac and was going to miss him once we got shipped home. as the days drew on, the boys got closer. and when the day came, jack and i enlisted for more tours under the condition that we had mac again. the three of us served three more years, then got promptly recruited by dxs. our years with dxs weren’t very eventful, except for cairo but we don’t talk about cairo. then an assassin got hired to kill us, our boss turned out to be treasonous, you know the rest.”
taylor continued to stare at the brillant girl, soaking in her strength and admiring just her in general. he knew there was more to josephine dalton and he wouldn’t rest until he’d cracked her open.
“jack dated riley’s mom for a bit, the situation is complicated. i grew close to riley, saw her as my sister. jack used to take us out for ski-ball and pizza then make us wash our hands so many times before getting into his precious gto. jack has almost gone to jail on several occasions for protecting his family, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. jack dalton really was my whole world, it won’t be the same without him.”
now, her she stood. josie had uncovered her old delta force uniform, complete with the ridiculous hat. she wore her medals of service with pride and lost track of how many times people gave their condolences.
as the plane’s back door fell open, josie and mac stood tall in the front center of the gathered soldiers. the casket was covered by an american flag, a symbol of service to the country. the two gave each other a look full of indescribable emotions, raising their hands into a salute simultaneously. silent tears dripped out of both their eyes as the fallen war hero was carried away. jack had truly made an impact on the hearts of those he loved and that would never be forgotten.
a soldier who was apart of jack’s team approached the two friends, his right hand clenched around something. he stood a few feet away from the youngest dalton, extending his hand out and revealing jack’s dog tags, “it’s only right you have these. he wouldn’t want it any other way.”
josie accepted the dog tags with a small, sad smile. she slipped the silver chain around her neck and tucked the tags into the collar of her uniform. these tags were never coming off, no matter what. jack would forever be with her within the tags.
the wake was more of a celebration than a depressed moment. guests indulged in several bottles of the male dalton’s favorite beer and spoke fondly of his life.
the phoenix team stood off to the side, josie wrapped in russ’ arms. they were clad in matching black outfits as they downed their beer and shared fond moments of jack’s life. they all had different experiences with him and encountered different traits of him. but they all shared one common element, they were his family and nothing could change that.
at the end of the wake, as a final good bye, josie stood with russ and mac in the center of the yard. she grasped the flag pole tightly, watching as the american flag waved gently in the wind. she huffed and lifted the flag pole into the air, sniffling as every cheered. the youngest dalton had received that flag from the army general, just as every family with fallen in battle did. the flag was going in the front yard of her shared house, no matter what russ would say.
jenny called later on to announce jack’s will. mac had received all his metallic shirts and dvd collection. riley got the gto, which was not a surprise. josie got everything else; his vinyl collection, other band shirts, his blue mustang they’d rebuilt together, tape collection, etc.
now josephine stood with her love on the beach, toes in the sand as they watched the sun set. in her left hand she grasped jack’s favorite hand gun, admiring every dent. she flipped it upwards so the hand rest bottom was facing her. the female dalton smiled softly as she read the engraved initials JWD. the dalton siblings had matching ones, curtesy of their passed on father.
she watched as the sky turned a brillant orange, sighing with content as she rested in her lover’s arms. josie knew she wouldn’t have to bear this alone, she had her family to rely on.
as the sun finally settled over the horizon, she gripped the worn dog tags in her calloused hand. she knew jack was saying his final goodbye, wishing her a happy life.
josephine still felt as if this was just a dream. that reality was playing a cruel prank on her. but as they say from death comes new life . and she knew the sun was setting on her old world to make room for the new, precious one that soon be joining.