Chapter Text
this is a ben hope hate club
rugby slay lord
> current mood: rugby slay lord
gay nerd
> ah yes i see that and i love you
done with your bullshit
> hey guys i have no one
lesbean
> isaac it’s okay you’re hot!
> you will find someone because you are hot
> not as hot as tara though
done with your bullshit
> i know, thank you
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> also single and boring
done with your bullshit
> i know, thank you
> wait what
tao-ler swift
> elle what is that username help
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> read it and bow to me
gay nerd
> afraid to say that your username is misleading
> because i also was born with a penis
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> but do you have big tits
gay nerd
> admittedly no
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> bow to my knockers
TOO SHORT
> nothing like a conversation about breasts to start the morning
lesbean
> hey tara your breasts are the best breasts
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> insulting
> i have better breasts than tara’s best breasts
tao-ler swift
> is it sad that this is making me uncomfortable
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> oh tao is too innocent for this sorry tao
tao-ler swift
> i am NOT innocent
> take it back
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> give me three swear words that you know and i will retract that statement
tao-ler swift
> bullshit
done with your bullshit
> i wonder how he figured that one out
tao-ler swift
> har har
> anyway number two is crap
> and finally bollocks!
> that is three
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> bollocks is not a swear
tao-ler swift
> are you even british
rugby slay lord
> oh crumpets
gay nerd
> damn cigars
lesbean
> FUCK COLONIALISM
tao is innocent
> british slurs: a thread
tao-ler swift
> FUCK
> YES I DID IT
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
> two of your words were copied
> that is plagiarism
> we don’t stand for plagiarism
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
changed
haha i have bigger tits than you and i was born with a penis
to
tao is innocent
gay nerd
> oh thank god
> i can tag you now
TOO SHORT
> it’s giving voldemort
gay nerd
> I CAN TAG YOU NOWWWW
rugby slay lord
> *tags you*
gay nerd
> *slow motion screaming and green light*
tao is innocent
> i think maybe you are both gay nerds
rugby slay lord
> bi nerd ack-tyoo-al-ee
TOO SHORT
> why would you spell it like that
rugby slay lord
> to assist the phonically challenged
tao-ler swift
> the phonically challenged include: any teacher trying to pronounce my name
done with your bullshit
> t-t-t-t-t-t…. TAYOH?
> TOY?
> TAMARA?
TOO SHORT
> tamara?
tao-ler swift
> the downfalls of being asian
TOO SHORT
> but tamara?
tao-ler swift
> don’t even question it
lesbean
> nick
> can i ask your gay brain a rugby question
rugby slay lord
> i mean
> yeah
> but why
lesbean
> so are scrums hot to you
rugby slay lord
> what kind of question is that?
lesbean
> a valid one?
> because i can’t see any reason why anyone would voluntarily be thrown on the ground repeatedly
> OTHER THAN wanting to be lain upon by big muscly rugby men
rugby slay lord
> it’s fun?
TOO SHORT
> it’s gay is what it is
> ‘it’s a scrum’ no it’s actually an orgy
tao-ler swift
> i know what an orgy is
tao is innocent
> you are lying to me
rugby slay lord
> no it’s absolutely not hot to be slammed into
> it’s just fun
gay nerd
> nick i love you but that sounded gay
TOO SHORT
> okay darcy and i are doing a how gay are you buzzfeed quiz on rugby
done with your bullshit
> how do you plan to make that work
lesbean
> number one - choose a colour
> green obviously because the pitch is green
done with your bullshit
> such wonderful logic
TOO SHORT
> favourite beyoncé song
tao-ler swift
> IS THERE SINGLE LADIES
> PUT SINGLE LADIES
TOO SHORT
> single ladies for the sake of tao
lesbean
> question three
> do you enjoy consensual sexual experiences with or feel sexual attraction to members of the same sex as yourself?
tao is innocent
> wow
> bigggg leap there
lesbean
> ‘quite a bit, yeah’ seems a good option
rugby slay lord
> because a sport can feel sexual attraction
tao is innocent
> rugby BALLS nicholas
TOO SHORT
> which city would you most like to live in
> new york!!!!!!!
> WELCOME TO NEW YORK
> IT’S BEEN WAITING FOR YOU
lesbean
> WELCOME TO NEW YORK
rugby slay lord
> how can a sport live in a city
gay nerd
> why are you still questioning this
lesbean
> drink of choice would of course be cocktails
> next question - do you like having sex with people of the same sex?
done with your bullshit
> im sensing a pattern
> two silly questions and then one that outright asks if you’re gay
tao is innocent
> SAY YES
TOO SHORT
> wait there’s an option for ‘gender binaries, wtf'
tao is innocent
> yes put that
lesbean
> ideal saturday night - netflix
> have you ever felt sexually attracted to someone of the same sex - rugby is gay so ‘quite often, actually’
TOO SHORT
> which us president do you most identify with
> none don’t they all suck
> anyone who is clicking ronald reagan can go die
lesbean
> im putting obama
> favourite root vegetable
gay nerd
> root vegetable?
rugby slay lord
> and what happened to not questioning
> put potato potato is elite
done with your bullshit
> obama is not a root vegetable
> wait
tao-ler swift
> I think you misunderstood
done with your bullshit
> really
lesbean
> ideal romantic partner
> THE SAME SEX
> because in rugby you only play teams of the same sex
rugby slay lord
> have i known you too long or does that make sense
gay nerd
> both
TOO SHORT
> weather phenomenon
> RAINBOW
lesbean
> RAINBOW
tao is innocent
> RAINBOW
tao-ler swift
> I FEEL STRAIGHT AND OUT OF PLACE
lesbean
> which sex is the sexiest
> same sex as me, same reason as above
TOO SHORT
> arbitrary box
> I pick this box because it’s the cutest
> do you guys not wear boxes to protect your dicks?
gay nerd
> yes nick make sure your nick dick is well protected
lesbean
> a maths puzzle
> not reading all that no way
TOO SHORT
> HEY WE GOT PRETTY GAY
> it’s official guys buzzfeed never lies
> rugby is “pretty gay”
rugby slay lord
> thank you for ruining my hobby I guess