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Quinlan grew up without half a soulmark on his back. He didn't know why he didn't have one. He just... didn't.
He thought it was okay. He wasn't too interested in romance, and he wasn't interested much in the sexual side of things. Just been friends with people was enough.
But... he saw soulmates together and he saw more than romance, more than sex. There was something more to their relationship, and he desperately wanted that.
He tried dating, but there was too much romance, or they wanted sex within just three months of dating when he wasn't nearly ready for that step and he didn't know if he would ever be.
Quinlan researched soulmates, studied them. Learned that people without soulmarks were often considered lesser, like they didn't actually have souls. Because pretty much everyone was born with soulmarks. They just sometimes appeared whole because they had their whole soul.
Quinlan longed for a soulmate. But he didn't have one. And he would never have one. The thought drove him further into depressive and bad spirals on bad days. He wished he lived in a world without soulmates. Most of the time he was fine; he had his Jedi family, including his best friend Obi-Wan. And that was enough. Most of the time. Sometimes though... his thoughts wandered and it was too much.
A mission went bad shortly after he was Knighted. The person who captured him had him stripped for punishment, he faced humiliation and mocking at the fact that he had no soulmark. It made everything so much worse.
It took him months to recover mentally. Even then he was never the same. The mind healer he saw for it recommended he go get a soulmark tattoo. It would bring him piece of mind and protect him from such a thing happening in the future.
After all, there were people talented enough that their tattoos easily passed as soulmarks. There were also rumors about people who got the tattoos finding someone with the other half, but that was probably coincidence.
Quinlan let out a breath when he entered the tattoo shop.
"Hello... ah, no soulmark."
Quinlan shook his head. "I wish to avoid being subjected to ridicule again."
"That is fair. There is no shame in not having a soulmark. Often, it means that you have more than one possibility, or maybe your intended soulmate has more than one possibility."
Quinlan shrugged. "I'm not here for theories. I just want a tattoo."
"Alright. Now, I have a process for this. Soulmarks have to match a person's personality, who they are at the core, not a mask they might put up. Which means I am going to spend the next few hours chatting with you about what you do, what you like, and just get to know you. I will also give you a few personality quizzes."
Quinlan nodded. "Okay, then what?"
"I'll take a few days to sketch things out, and then you'll pick one of them, and maybe we'll give it a few tweaks. If you're ready, we'll start tattooing that day, if not, we'll schedule a day."
"Okay." Quinlan braced himself. He could trust this person; he'd seen several Jedi recommend him for similar problems; it never got out that they had seen him. And nothing ever happened.
.
Quinlan sat in the chair, waiting for the sketches nervously. What kinds of ideas would he have? He'd seen all kinds of actual soulmate tattoos. They were all gorgeous representations of the people involved.
As he waited for the artist to be ready for him, for some reason his mind wandered to his friend Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was a wonderful friend. Still a Padawan, though he really should be a knight. He was talented, even if others didn't see it. But maybe waiting would be best for him.
Quinlan let out a breath. Sometimes he wondered if it wouldn't be better for Obi-Wan to be his soulmate. They got along well, and Quinlan had thought about dating him. He only held out for fear of ruining their relationship. He wasn't going to put that at risk. Ever. He would rather die than risk losing his friendship with Obi-Wan over something so petty as dating.
The tattoo artist smiled at him. "Here are your choices."
Quinlan's eyes widened as he stared between four different designs. Each of them were unique though there were common themes. They were all gorgeous. Something he wouldn't mind having on his back. But something drew him to one over the others.
He picked up that sketch and studied it. A butterfly wing that would take up one side of his back, bigger than the average soulmark, but not unheard of. In it, there were lightsabers, trees from Kiffu with hints of its top predator, the jagliar. A mug of what could be tea. There were so many other details, he could not pick them all out. He stared at it then looked up at the tattoo artist.
"Can you really do this?"
"Yep. It'll take several hours, and we'll have to do at least two sessions, but I can do it all. I never promise something I cannot deliver."
Quinlan studied it some more, then nodded. "This one, please."
"Alright, are you ready to get started today?"
"How long will it take?"
"Today, we'll do six hours. Tomorrow, we can do a longer session to get it done."
"I can live with that."
"You're not nervous?"
Quinlan gave him a look. "I have tattoos on my face. I know what tattooing is like. It'll be different getting it done on my back and with details but I do have some idea."
"Ah yes, right. Kiffar. Good. A lot of those who come in for the soulmark tattoo have never been tattooed before, so they are usually incredibly nervous, even for the smaller ones."
"How many do you even get? Is it that common?"
"I think it's a lot more common than people realize. But I doubt we'll ever get stats with any accuracy. If I had to guess... at least one in one hundred, if not more."
Quinlan blinked. "That is a lot of people going around without a soulmark... No wonder businesses like this exist."
"Indeed. I want to get started in ten minutes. So walk around, stretch, get some music, make sure you don't need to do anything, and then come back and take off your top."
"Right." Quinlan did as he was told and got into place, ready for the tattoo.
Several hours later, he had a partially completed tattoo. He looked over his shoulder at it in the mirror. The outlining was done, some of the shading was done. Mostly, it was details left, especially when it came to color. Color was trickier on darker skin like his, but the artist knew what he was doing.
"You like it so far?"
"Yeah... weirdly kind of looks like it belongs there."
"I get that a lot. There's a reason I'm popular."
Quinlan nodded. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."
He listened to the instructions, followed them, and returned the next day.
Hours of rambling later, including about his best friend Obi-Wan, and it was done.
He gasped, staring at the final result. "Whoa..."
"Once it heals, it'll look more like a soulmate tattoo. And it should stay that way for years."
Quinlan nodded, astonished. "It's perfect."
"It's you."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
.
After he was able to remove the bandages Quinlan found that he could not stop looking at the fake soulmark. It looked so real. Many soulmarks had little details like this did. Some were basic, and some weren't. It looked so natural. It looked like it belonged.
Sometimes Quinlan thought he might cry because it really did look like he had a soulmark and it only made him want a real soulmate more.
At least he never had to face that humiliation again.
No one commented on the appearance of a soulmark on his back, though he generally kept it covered. He liked having it, but it felt weirdly intimate sharing it sometimes.
And for a few years, Obi-Wan was the one friend who never saw it. He just was never around the times Quinlan went swimming with friends.
Finally, though, three years later, Quinlan was twenty six, and Obi-Wan was twenty four and still a padawan. They were having a friendly spar, more just for fun than anything.
Both of them knew that Obi-Wan could easily beat Quinlan as he had been able to for years. It was one of the reasons Quinlan was confused Obi-Wan wasn't a Knight yet. Obi-Wan could match most knights their age, and even many older ones who weren't yet thirty.
Quinlan took off his top without a thought as he got a bit sweaty from the back and forth. He trusted Obi-Wan with everything. But he failed to consider that Obi-Wan had not seen the fake soulmark yet.
They resumed their match, laughing and teasing. It was a lot of fun.
Obi-Wan knocked Quinlan down and held his lightsaber at his throat.
"Okay, okay, you win, Obes. Just like always." Quinlan grinned.
Obi-Wan backed away, smiling. "Sometimes I wonder if you let me win, then I fight someone I know won't let me win, and I beat them."
"Nah, Obes. You've always been better than me. Lightsaber combat just isn't one of my many talents." Quinlan turned to go get a drink of water.
"You're plenty good at it Quin! You've al..." Obi-Wan's voice trailed off as he stared at the tattoo on Quinlan's back.
Quinlan finished his drink and turned to Obi-Wan. "What?"
"When did you get that?" Both of them knew what he was referring to.
"Oh, I went and got that tattooed a few years ago."
"...About three years?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yeah, why?"
Obi-Wan was shaking a little as he pulled off his own top and spun. "Three years ago I spotted this on my back one morning when I got up."
Now it was Quinlan's turn to be stunned speechless. It was a perfect match for his tattoo. A butterfly wing, lots of the same little details just mirrored, fitting on the opposite of Obi-Wan's back. He hesitantly walked over to Obi-Wan and he placed his hand on Obi-Wan's back, a few fingers brushing over the tattoo lightly. His half appeared on Obi-Wan's back.
Quinlan jumped back, startled and wide eyed, watching it fade away. "No way. This was like eighteen hours of tattoo!"
Obi-Wan turned to him. "Can I?" he asked shyly.
Quinlan nodded numbly and turned. He felt Obi-Wan's hand on his back.
"Whoa... that's gorgeous..." Obi-Wan whispered.
Quinlan spun and faced him. "I don't... Oh. Huh. Maybe..."
"What is it, Quin?"
"The person who tattooed me started telling me about people who don't have tattoos, but I didn't want to hear those theories... but he said something about many who are born without soulmarks are born like that because they potentially have many soulmates or their soulmate has many... He gave me four designs. None of them were like this. One was more of a... ocean with foxes and lightsabers and rain... One had lightsabers, but it looked more like its as on half of a planet with green mist or something, and one was simpler a sunset or sunrise with a few other things.. I was drawn to this one, and decided I liked this one most..."
Obi-Wan grinned. "Does this mean you chose me?"
"Not knowingly... Maybe those other soulmates would have fit in different points in time... but I wanted a fake mark then, so I got one and I guess I wanted it to be you?"
Obi-Wan hugged him tightly. "I'm glad it's you. I wasn't sure who I would want to be my soulmate of everyone I know... at least it's you. You're amazing."
"I feel like you're closer to some others."
"Maybe. But you're the one who's always there for me and always seem to know what to do. At least when you're not doing missions."
Quinlan smiled and impulsively kissed him.
Obi-Wan squeaked and returned the kiss after a moment. "Oh... That was nice."
"Yeah... better than any I've experienced." Quinlan was a bit dazed. "We should... go let someone know... and figure out where we go from here."
"Not yet." Obi-Wan took his hand and pulled him closer. "I want to enjoy what we have first. This is so new. I want to just... process."
"You're right. That sounds good. Shall we go to the constellation meditation room?"
"Oh, perfect."
They put their clothes on and left the room, holding hands. And they never looked back. They were soulmates, and that was enough, even when they were apart.