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how to break your girlfriend out of jail (100% legal and accurate)

Summary:

Sequel to Shiho holds an entire bakery hostage (for love!)

Shiho has been arrested for apple pie crimes, and now Leo/need's got to find some way to get her out of jail.

Notes:

Hey guys I finally wrote that Shiho jailbreak fic that I mentioned like, a couple months ago! Wow, I'm not promising anything ever again.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Saki, where’s Shiho? I haven’t seen her.” 

“Now that you mention it, it is weird that she hasn’t shown up yet. She’s usually the first one here!”

Ichika was sitting on the floor with her guitar, tuning it. Honami walked into the rehearsal studio with a concerned expression on her face.

“Hona-chan, have you seen Shiho-chan?” Saki looked up at her.

“Guys… Shiho-chan’s in jail.”

“WHAT?” Saki and Ichika yelped at the same time. 

“Yeah. She got arrested for disturbance of the peace, robbery, and threatening domestic terrorism.”

“Shiho-chan paid for those apple pies, though!” Saki folded her arms. 

“But those other ones do make sense.” Ichika added.

“You aren’t helping our case, Icchan!” Saki frowned at Ichika, who was mostly unaffected by this. 

“Okay, but we need to get Shiho-chan out of jail somehow!” 

“I agree, but we need to find someone to help us get Shiho-chan out of jail. Who do you think could help?” 

“Hm…” The three friends sat down in a circle, deep in thought. 

“Oh, I know! Hona-chan, you could ask Emu-chan to bribe them!”

“Saki-chan, that’s illegal!” 

“Not that Emu would be unwilling to do it.” Ichika interjected. 

“Yes, but we should probably attempt legal methods before resorting to that.”

“I guess you’re right. Oh! I know! There’s this really smart senpai at our school that might know how to get Shiho-chan out of jail! I can ask them for help!”

“Are you talking about…” Ichika suddenly looked extremely worried. 


“Asahina-senpai! We need your help!” 

Mafuyu looked down at Saki, wearing a pleading expression, and Ichika, who hadn’t dropped her concerned expression. 

“Oh? What could it be?”

“Our friend is in jail!” 

Mafuyu blinked. 

“Your friend… is in jail?” 

“Yes! Shiho-chan is in jail!” 

Mafuyu thought for a moment about the quiet student who she sometimes saw hanging around with these two. Strange. She didn’t seem like the type to get herself in that sort of situation.

“How did your friend manage to get sent to jail?”

Ichika pulled out the list of charges that Honami had given her a copy of and began reading off of it.

“Disturbance of the peace, robbery, and threatening domestic terrorism.”

“Asahina-senpai, please, you’ve got to help us!” 

“Well…” Mafuyu thought about her schedule, which was already nearly full as is. Also, while robbery and disturbance of the peace might be pretty easy charges to argue, domestic terrorism was much more severe and would require lots of research. 

Saki intensified her pleading look, which had no effect.

“I’m afraid I have to-”

“Asahina-san!”

Mafuyu looked towards the sound of the voice.

“Hinomori-san?” 

Behind her was Honami, who moved to stand next to Ichika and Saki.

“I brought reinforcements.” She looked almost proud, and Ichika and Saki gave her wide smiles. 

“Please, you’ve got to help us get my precious baby Shii-chan out of jail!”

Precious baby Shii-chan…?

Well, since it was Shizuku who was asking. While they weren’t close by any means, she did owe her a favor from their time together in the archery club. 

“Alright. I’ll help.”

“Thank you, Asahina-san!” Shizuku turned towards the three underclassmen, who all bowed at her as well. 

For a fleeting moment, something stirred slowly within her, seeing the concern that Shizuku had for her sister, and the concern that those three had for their friend. She blinked again, and it was gone.

Mafuyu began brainstorming ideas and thinking about the requisite research needed to bring a case to court. 


“Your honor, members of the jury, my name is Asahina Mafuyu and I will be representing the defendant, Hinomori Shiho, in this case.”

“Your honor, members of the jury, my name is Aoyagi Toya and I will be representing the prosecution, the customers and staff of the bakery, in this case.”

“TOYA-KUN, NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO US-” Saki yelled from the audience. Everyone looked up. 

“Order! Order among the audience.” 

Saki took a deep breath and sat down, Honami patting her on the back. 

Toya spoke. His voice wasn’t loud, but it had a presence, managing to command everyone’s attention. The courtroom quietly held its breath, waiting for him to speak. 

“Let’s start with the facts. The accused, Hinomori Shiho,” he indicated Shiho, who was sitting in the defendant’s chair, an unamused expression on her face, “has been charged with counts of robbery, disturbance of the peace, and threatening domestic terrorism. Do you deny these charges?”

“Yes.” Shiho responded neutrally. 

“I see. Well, five days ago, you were seen going into a bakery, then coming out with several bags of apple pie. Do you deny this?”

“No.”

“As you can see,” Toya spoke, addressing the jury, “the evidence shows that the accused must have done something to acquire all of these apple pies.”

“To acquire the sum of apple pies being carried out of the bakery by the accused, a large amount of money would be required, which wouldn’t be possible on the normal income of a high school student. Therefore, it has led me to the conclusion that these apple pies must have been stolen-”

Mafuyu slammed her hands down on the stand. “Objection!” she yelled, pointing at Toya. 

“At the time, the accused did indeed have enough money to purchase the sum of apple pies.” 

“Really? What’s your proof?”

“The Hinomoris as well as the Tenmas are highly influential families. The defendant, Hinomori Shiho, and her friend, Tenma Saki, would have likely had enough money combined to pay for the apple pies.”

“I see. For our next criminal charges, disturbance of the peace and threatening to commit an act of domestic terrorism.” The judge said. 

“The defendant stands accused of,” Toya pulled out a sheet of paper and began reading from it in a deadpan tone of voice, “standing on a table and yelling at an entire bakery to cheer for her girlfriend, Mochizuki Honami, because she was feeling sad.”

The jury looked up at Honami in the stands, who shrank down and hid. 

Mafuyu looked at him. Toya looked tired. 

“Let me call my first witness to the stand.”

“My name is Hoshino Ichika.”

“Hoshino-san, do you promise us that the evidence you give us will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” 

“Yes.”

“Hoshino-san,” Mafuyu began, “why did the defendant, Hinomori-san, feel it was necessary to threaten an entire bakery?”

“Well, Shiho loves all of us very much! She couldn’t stand seeing Honami so sad, so she had to do something, right?”

Mafuyu looked at her and mouthed “I can’t work with emotions. You’ll have to give me something more substantial.” 

“Also, Shiho is just kind of like that.”

“Aha! You see, Aoyagi-san, the defendant can claim insanity.”

Ichika, Saki, and Honami looked at Mafuyu, confused.

“I see…” Toya murmured.

The judge coughed.

“We will drop the charges of robbery and disturbance of the peace, and reduce the sentence to one year in jail. Please no more of this. You’re wasting my time.”

Mafuyu bowed.

“Thank you.”

“WHAT? SHIHO-CHAN DOESN’T DESERVE-” Honami shushed Saki.

Once Ichika, Saki, and Honami were out of the courtroom, they looked at each other once more, then looked at Mafuyu, bowing.

“Thank you, Asahina-senpai! You did your best!”

Mafuyu gave them a light smile.

“It was my pleasure. I must attend to other things now. I’ll see you at school.” She walked off.

Ichika and Saki then gave Honami their best puppy-dog eyes, and Honami sighed. 

“Alright, we can try bribery.” 


“Emu-chan, could I perhaps ask you something?” Honami gingerly poked Emu on the shoulder, who jumped up excitedly and began yelling.

“HONAMI-CHAN! WHAT DO YOU NEED?” 

Honami turned to Ichika and Saki, hiding behind a desk. Saki gave her a supportive thumbs-up, and Ichika smiled at her. Honami turned to face Emu once more, who was giving her a smile that could outshine the sun.

“Shiho-chan’s in jail.”

Emu frowned.

“That’s not very wonderhoy!”

“Yes… and we need to get her out… somehow.”

Emu looked deep in thought for a moment.

“WE COULD PAY THE GUARDS TO LET HER OUT!”

“Emu-chan! Keep it down!” Honami shushed her.

Again, she turned to Saki and Ichika’s hiding spot, and they were both nodding their heads. Honami sighed. 

“Yes… I suppose we could.”

“OKAY!!! LET’S GO GET SHIHO-CHAN OUT OF JAIL!”

The four of them walked over to the police station, where Shiho was being held.

“HELLO, MR. GUARD-SAN!” Emu screamed, and the guard looked at her confusedly. 

“What do you want?”

“IF I GIVE YOU THIS MUCH MONEY, WILL YOU LET SHIHO-CHAN OUT OF JAIL???” 

“No!” The guard exclaimed, red-faced. 

“PRETTY PLEASE?” 

“I’m not allowed to, but…”

“AND I CAN GET YOU FREE TICKETS TO PHOENIX WONDERLAND!” 

The guard’s expression wavered briefly.

“My daughter has been saying she really wants to go, but we just don’t have the money… A shame.” 

Emu suddenly looked very sad.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

Emu produced two tickets from the pockets of her cardigan and handed them to the guard, who lit up. 

“Oh, thank you, loud pink girl!”

“Emu-chan! What about the plan?”

“The guard just looked so sad, and everyone should have the chance to go to Phoenix Wonderland!”

The guard skipped off merrily.

“HEY! Where are you going!” Another voice rang through the hallway.

“Ugh, he always does that. Guess we need a new guard.”

Soon, another guard moved into the first guard’s place. He glared at them.

“You four, get out of here!” 

The four of them skittered out of the police station. 

“Well, thanks for trying, Emu.”

“YOU ARE VERY WELCOME!” Emu ran off. Ichika, Saki, and Honami looked at each other. 

“Well, I guess we only have one option left.” Saki said brightly.

“And what’s that?” Ichika looked tired from running around for the past couple of days, all of them desperately trying to get Shiho out of jail. 

“Asking nicely!”

Honami and Ichika looked at each other and nodded. Surely this plan would go well. 


“Would you please let our friend out of jail, Mr. Guard-san?”

“And why would I let your friend out of jail?” The guard sneered. Behind bars, Shiho looked at them, a neutral expression on her face. 

“You leave me no choice. My ultimate weapon…” 

Saki pulled out a small orange card and handed it to the guard. 

“What’s this- eh?”

The guard’s eyes widened upon looking at the card more closely.

“A ‘get out of jail free’ card? Why didn’t you show me this earlier?” 

He turned and unlocked the jail cell. As soon as Shiho stepped outside, blinking, Saki tackled her in a hug, shooting a smug look at the guard.

“Agh- Saki, get off me!” Shiho grumbled. 

“Saki, was that a ‘get out of jail free’ card? From Monopoly?” Ichika said in wonder.

“Yep!”

“So you’re telling me that all you have to do to get someone out of jail is to use a 'get out of jail free’ card? That’s so-” Shiho cut herself off, and sighed.

“Well, all’s well that ends well. And I made apple pie for all of us!”

Honami pulled out a basket, and her friends cheered. 

The guard looked at it longingly.

“Would you like an apple pie too?”

The guard nodded and Honami handed him a pie.

“And that reminds me! We should go thank Asahina-senpai and Emu-chan for their help, too!”

The four friends left together, ready to deliver apple pie to everyone.

Notes:

Thanks once again to the writing server for inspiring me to finally publish this fic!

And thank you for reading!