Chapter Text
It only hurts this much right now,’ was what I was thinking the whole time
It was all Sokka could think as he sat alone at the annual Republic City ball with one of Toph’s lieutenants instead of Toph herself. She had left to get another drink or two, leaving them sitting with the warm memory of her smirk until she returned. Sokka had watched her walk away until she melted into the crowd of dancers and politicians.
And then, the lieutenant cleared his throat. Sokka flinched slightly, calming all his instincts to settle. He turned his attention to the other man, whose name he never paid attention to. How could he, when Toph was always there at the same time?
Sokka flashed his councilman smile at the man--Khan? Kaong? Whoever he was. “Is this your first Republic City ball?”
The lieutenant (Keung?) shifted in his seat before nodding. “Yeah. It’s been an interesting experience.”
Sokka snorted. It had to have been interesting for people who weren’t used to Aang’s theatrical tricks. If he had to see Aang air-juggle marbles one more time, he might explode.
He had opened his mouth to continue with polite conversation, ever the politician, when Kang-Xi (?) interrupted him. The man rested his arm on the table and leaned close to Sokka. “I’m sorry if this is too personal, but is there anything going on between you and Chief Beifong?”
Alarm bells began to go off in Sokka’s mind. Was he that obvious this evening? Sokka swore that he had been getting better at keeping his looks from lingering and his touches from idling. He hid his surprise behind his champagne glass, taking a sip before answering. “Me and Toph? Whatever gave you that idea?”
Kwai shrugged. “Curious. Ever since I’ve been working closer to the chief, I’ve noticed how inseparable the two of you are.”
Sokka forced out a laugh, which ended up sounding more like a turtle seal’s mangled cry than anything else. “No. We’re not seeing each other. I mean, we’re not dating. We see each other, because we hang out. Well, I guess technically Toph doesn’t, because of the whole blind thing. I mean, you get wha--” He slammed his mouth shut because spirits, nothing was more embarrassing than rambling like he used to as a teenager.
Kanto--wait, that was it! His name was Kanto. Anyways, Kanto didn’t pick up on Sokka’s nerves. If he did, he didn’t make it noticeable. He simply leaned back and laughed. “That’s good to hear. So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out?”
His stomach lurched. He wanted to blame it on drinking too much, but Sokka had had only a few glasses and knew himself better than that. “Like, on a date?”
Kanto grinned. His cocky smirk was definitely Toph’s type. Shit. “Yeah, like on a date.”
Lying had never come easy to Sokka, but he had gotten used to it. He’d been lying to himself for months, and now to his best friend, so it was okay when he lied to this random stranger and said, “I have no problem with that. Go for it, buddy.”
The lieutenant’s expression lit up. He stood from his chair and patted Sokka on the shoulder. “Thanks, Councilman Sokka. I think that was the last push of courage I needed.”
Sokka watched as Kanto crossed the room, catching Toph as she made her way back to their table. He said something inaudible, and Toph threw her head back in laughter. She inched closer to Kanto, putting her hand on his arm, and whispered something in his ear.
At that point, Sokka had to turn away. No, he had to get fresh air. He stumbled out of his seat and towards the balcony. The freezing chill of the air bit against his cheeks as he threw open the doors and stepped out. Stars twinkled in the night sky, with Yue as the spotlight. Sokka leaned against the balcony, staring up at his most trusted confidant.
“It’s hurting like this just right now,” he promised both himself and Yue. “It’s just for right now. I’ll be over it soon.”
Despite being the cold moon, Yue’s presence sent waves of warmth through him. She could have been as hot as the sun with how much comfort radiated from her. Still, despite the reassurance, the twisted feeling in Sokka’s stomach rose to his heart and wrapped its grasp around him. He wanted to be hopeful, he wanted it to be only a momentary feeling, but Sokka knew deep down in his gut that it wasn’t going away anytime soon.
That was one of the few times that Sokka hated being right.
Kanto had drifted into Toph’s life for a brief few months before leaving. Sokka didn’t bother pretending to be upset about his departure. He was only happy to have his favorite drinking partner back.
Speaking of which, he couldn’t find her.
Toph’s assistant was no help. He’d said that she left immediately after lunch, but that didn’t sound right. Sokka knew Toph like the back of his hand, and he knew she wouldn’t leave in the middle of the work day, not without a valid reason.
After running into Aang, who also knew absolutely nothing, Sokka decided to stop by Toph’s apartment on the way back. If she wasn’t there, then maybe he would start to get worried. He definitely wasn’t already worried, that’s for sure.
Sokka didn’t even have to knock on the front door as he approached the apartment. The door swung open, revealing his best friend. And, Tui and La, she looked awful.
Toph’s porcelain skin was paler than he’d ever seen and her hair looked like she’d just rolled out of bed. She was wearing her ‘hangover clothes’, aka the most comfortable clothing she owned. Toph didn’t even acknowledge the surprise of Sokka’s appearance. Instead, she spun on her heel and returned to her apartment, leaving the door open.
Sokka took the invitation and let himself in. Nothing seemed out of order in her apartment; Toph liked to keep it clean and tidy, and it certainly was. A replay of the latest pro-bending tournament played quietly on the radio in the living room. Toph slumped onto the couch next to it and turned it off, a scowl on her face.
He sat on the other end of the couch cautiously. “Jing told me that you left after lunch.”
Toph crossed her arms. “Yeah. Well. I wasn’t feeling good.”
Sokka snorted. “I can tell.”
A beat of silence. Toph beat him to end it. She cleared her throat and turned away, as if avoiding his gaze. “I stopped by the clinic on my way home.”
“Yeah? Was Katara there?”
“I stopped by the one on the other side of town.” She inhaled and held her breath before letting it out with a huff. “I didn’t want her to--Sokka, I’m pregnant.”
Breathe in breathe through breathe deep breathe out
That’s all Sokka could do. Actually, he almost forgot how to breathe until his body screamed at him for air. He stared at Toph, waiting for her to catch him with a ‘Just kidding! Look how gullible you are!’ or something. Anything.
When she stayed quiet, he managed to squeak out a pathetic, “What?”
Toph threw her hands in the air and let out a grunt of frustration. “I’m pregnant! I wasn’t feeling good this morning, and it passed so I went into work, but then I felt…weird. Like there was always someone with me.” She swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut tight. “I could feel another heartbeat, one other than mine. I went to the clinic and, well, I was right.”
Sokka blinked. He leaned back against the couch, and then forward with his elbows resting on his knees. The question on the tip of his tongue made him sick to his stomach, but he had to ask. “Is it Kanto’s?”
Toph pointedly rolled her eyes. “Of course it’s Kanto’s, meathead. He left only two weeks ago. Even I wouldn’t move on that fast.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
She put her head in her hands dejectedly. “All I know is that he moved to the Fire Nation. He could be anywhere, Sokka.”
For the first time in years, he watched his best friend break. Her shoulders heaved with silent tears. It had been so long since he’d seen her distressed like this. Toph had always refused to show her emotional side in front of people and liked to come off as strong and indifferent. But, ever since they were little, she would let Sokka be a part of her grief. Even when they were kids, she would tell him things that she didn’t trust anyone else with. Sokka took small pride in the fact that Toph felt comfortable enough to cry in front of him, but it still broke his heart.
He moved over to her side and immediately wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his embrace. Sokka ignored the pit in his stomach that warmed with her touch, because right now, he needed to be present for his best friend.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Toph whispered against his chest.
Sokka tightened his grip and bit his lip. “I mean…do you think you’ll keep it?”
Toph stiffened, just the slightest. “Yeah. I…I don’t know if I could get an abortion, personally. I don’t know.”
“Whatever you do, I’ll support you,” he promised. He hoped that she could feel the truth in his voice. If nothing else, Sokka would support what Toph decided on. He would always support her.
She was silent for another moment. Then, she mumbled even more softly than he’d ever heard her say, “I’m going to have to raise a child alone.”
Sokka pulled away and grabbed Toph by her shoulders. He knew she couldn’t see him, but he needed to see her face. “No you’re not. I’ll be here for you, for both of you. You won’t be alone in this.”
He brushed away her bangs, tucking the hair behind her ear. He felt her shudder lightly and she turned her head away. Sokka let go of her shoulder with one hand so he could catch her chin and pull her back towards him. “We can do this,” he murmured softly. “ You can do this. You’re Toph fucking Beifong, the greatest earthbender who ever lived.”
They stayed in that position for a long moment. His hand that lifted her chin moved to cup her cheek. His other hand on her shoulder slowly trailed down, tracing her arm until he reached her own hand. Intertwining their fingers, Sokka swore he stopped breathing. A sweet feeling began to rise in his chest, almost taking over his heart.
He immediately dropped his hand from her face and shoved the tender feeling far, far away. This was not the time for him to start catching ridiculous feelings for his best friend. Not when her entire life was changing. He needed to stay a constant, someone she could rely on.
Whatever Sokka had been feeling, Toph didn’t notice. Instead, the corners of her mouth twitched up into a smile. “You’re right. What the hell was I thinking? I’m fucking Toph Beifong!”
He broke out into a grin, which Toph mirrored. Nothing made Sokka happier than seeing that look on her face. Her cocky happiness was contagious. “Hell yeah, you are.”
“I fucking invented metalbending. I fought in a war. This will be nothing compared to that.”
Toph pulled her hand away from his and jumped to her feet abruptly. She jabbed her thumb at the door and announced, “You and I are going out tonight.”
“Uh, you do know that you can’t dri--”
“Of course I know I can’t drink alcohol while pregnant, meathead.” Toph rolled her eyes again, even more dramatically this time. “It’s dinner time and I’m hungry.”
Sokka ignored the skip in his heart. “Let’s stuff our faces till we’re sick.”
“Considering I’m eating for two now,” Toph put her hands on her hips and smirked, “that won’t be too hard.”
She'd never been more beautiful than she was in that moment.
I’ll be getting over you my whole life
Distractions didn’t help.
The lurching of his heart whenever his best friend was near had become too much for Sokka to ignore. He couldn’t address it, either. Not when Toph was preparing to have a child. Not when she was spending half of her day at the station or city hall, and the other half at the doctor’s office or attending to her unborn baby.
One night, when Sokka couldn’t understand why her hand on his arm made him feel like he could catch fire at any moment, he found himself stumbling into a bar on the other side of town. It wasn’t one that he normally frequented. It was certainly one that was far away from both his apartment and Toph’s.
A few drinks in, a beautiful woman approached. A strong firebender, her hair framing her face, her full lips painted red, her eyes challenging him to something he couldn’t quite decipher. In a way, she reminded him of Suki.
Her name was Yui and she gasped when he told her his own name. Was he the war hero from the Southern Water Tribe, a friend of the Avatar? Yes, he was. Did he really take down an entire fleet of battle airships during the war? He grimaced at the memory, at the feeling of his best friend’s fingers slipping through his. Yes, he did.
Sokka turned the conversation away from the war and its burdening memories. He bought Yui a drink or two, made her laugh, made himself grin. After shifting to be closer and closer, she kissed him so harshly that the bartender barked at them to get a room.
When Sokka pulled away, a part of him wondered why he didn’t see Toph in front of him. He shook the thought away and asked if Yui wanted to leave the bar.
She has an apartment nearby, she said.
As they left, a heavy stone sunk in his stomach. Whatever his feelings towards Toph were, all Sokka knew was that it would take his whole life for him to get over her.
He ignored the heaviness. He might as well start trying now.
There’s only so much fun you can have at a birthday party for a two year old.
Sokka found it a little ridiculous that Katara and Zuko were throwing a literal festival for Izumi, but if that meant he got vacation time, then he was fine with it.
The party, though, was definitely for Izumi. Puppet shows, finger painting, even this weird house made out of inflated balloons that the kids could jump on. All of Izumi’s little friends spent their time running back and forth between the cake and the balloon house, causing as much mayhem as they could.
Sokka watched as Zuko chased after Izumi, begging her to stop setting things on fire. He grinned at the sight and sipped his lemonade. Toph and Katara sat at the same table and bonded loudly over the pains of pregnancy.
He let his eyes rake over Toph’s body. She was about five months along at that point, and her stomach was growing rounder by the day. Her bare feet rested on a chair in front of her and she had her face turned up to the sun, basking in its heat with a smile.
Katara caught Sokka’s stare and cocked an eyebrow. Ever the brother he was, Sokka raised an eyebrow back and gave her a challenging look. She opened her mouth to make some kind of sisterly retort (probably to call him an idiot), but Aang caused a distraction by drifting into the scene.
He greeted everyone with a smile before kneeling down next to Sokka. Aang whispered in his ear, “It’s ready.”
Sokka jumped to his feet and everyone at the table flinched with his sudden movement. He ignored them and turned to Toph, tugging at her wrist. “C’mon, I have something to show you.”
Toph groaned and gestured to her relaxing position. “Does it look like I want to get up?”
“Toooppphh pleeeeaaase?” he whined like one of the kids at the party.
Despite her protests, the corner of her lip quirked up. She turned her head away and crossed her arms defiantly. “Fine. But only if I get up for nothing, you’ll be spending the rest of this trip in a hole in the ground.”
Even while pregnant, Toph walked at a quicker than normal pace. Sokka led her through the twisting hallways of the palace, all while listening to her complaints and snarky remarks. Finally, they ended up outside of an empty guest room.
Sokka stood in front of the door and turned to face her. “Okay. I really hope you like this, Toph. I’ll get it if you don’t but I real--”
She shoved him out of the way of the door. “Can it, meathead. You ramble way too much.” Swinging the door open, Toph marched inside and immediately stopped in her tracks. Sokka watched as she adjusted her stance, truly studying what was in front of her. Inside the room lay a crib, entirely made out of metal.
He looked over her shoulder and a brush of relief swept through him. Sokka hadn’t completely trusted Teo’s painting ability, but he had managed to paint the metal bars an even shade of forest green. It matched Toph’s apartment perfectly. Not that she would even notice, but it still made Sokka grin.
Toph remained quiet. His smile faded quickly and his mouth began to run. “I wasn’t sure if you’d already found a bed for the baby, and I tried looking for one made out of rocks or all metal, do you know how hard it is to find a crib like that?”
Finally, she took a step forward and approached the crib. Toph rested her hand on the top bar and dragged her fingers along it. Even so, she didn’t speak.
The agonizing silence forced Sokka to open his damn mouth again as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “Anyways so I designed one and I’ve never actually designed something like this so it might not be great and if you hate it that’s totally fine bu--”
Toph spun around and punched him square in the shoulder, effectively shutting him up. “What did I say about you rambling too much?”
Sokka rubbed his neck as blood rushed to his cheeks. “Well, I--” and then he stopped. He cocked his head to the side and squinted, unsure if he was seeing things. “Toph, are you crying ?” shit was it really that bad of a present????
She wiped at her moist eyes furiously and turned her head to the side. Crossing her arms and resting them on her baby bump, Toph replied with a haughty, “ No .”
Only a few seconds passed before she stomped her foot on the ground and sighed. “It’s the hormones, okay? They make me cry about everything. Don’t let it get to your head.”
Sokka blinked, letting her words sink in. “Wait, does that mean you…you like it?”
That earned another slug to his arm. “Of course I like it, you dipshit. You made a crib for my baby.” Her voice barely cracked on the last word as her hand went to her stomach. “One that will let me watch over my baby.”
Toph turned back to the crib and he could tell she was studying it again. “You really made this?”
He cautiously approached her side. “Kinda. I designed it and everything, but Teo helped me make the pieces and put them all together. Which is why I waited till we were here to give it to you.”
As they stood together in another comfortable silence, Sokka had to force down the innate urge to wrap his arm around Toph’s waist and pull her into him. He needed to keep his distance.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t stare at her and watch a smile take over her features, though. He allowed himself to watch the dimples deepen in her cheeks, even if it meant that his heart felt like it was about to burst.
Toph turned quickly to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck in a bone-crushing hug. Sokka staggered as she brought him down to her short level before chuckling and squeezing her back. Toph’s hugs usually lasted, at most, a couple of seconds. This time, however, he waited for her to let go first and she just. didn’t.
Sokka buried his nose in her hair, taking in her aroma of fresh earth and citrus. Was that his heart he felt beating against his chest, or was hers racing just as fast as his?
She finally pulled away, but she kept her hands on Sokka’s shoulders. He looked down at his best friend. Toph’s blind gaze lingered on his chest, yet still he knew that her attention was on him. Her features softened, something he’d never seen on her before.
In that brief moment, Sokka let his heart take over. He let all the feelings and thoughts he’d been holding back for months flood his mind, his senses, everything. The warmth overtook his entire being and all he could think was: I’m falling in love.
Toph opened her mouth and started, “Sokka, I--”
Whatever she was going to say got interrupted by a crash down the hallway, shattering the moment. They jumped apart from each other, as if they’d been caught in some illegal act. Sokka nearly moved to the other side of the room before Zuko appeared in the doorway, a scowl on his face.
Toph raised an eyebrow smugly. Once again, the usual mischievous look returned to her face. All the tenderness that had been there only a moment before had completely dissipated. “Trouble walking, Sparky?”
“In my defense,” Zuko grumbled, “that table had never been there before.” He glanced at Sokka’s red face and then back at Toph, finally taking in the awkward air and the amount of distance between the two. “Sorry, did I interrupt something?”
I have no idea, Sokka wanted to reply. Instead, he let Toph respond.
She gestured at the crib and grinned cockily, as if she was the one who had made it. “Look at what Snoozles made for me.”
Zuko approached the crib, an eyebrow raised. “Now, I know you’re short, Toph, but I don’t think you’re this small.”
Sokka didn’t snicker at the short joke, or even when Zuko yelped as Toph punched him. Instead, his mind was stuck on its own revelation from a few moments ago.
Oh, no. I’m falling in love.
Exactly what he hadn't wanted to happen was happening. He was never supposed to have feelings for Toph. No, he was never supposed to fall in love with Toph. How could he have been so careless? How did he let himself be so stupid? He’d thought that he had it under control, that his feelings were going down. How did she manage to turn it right around?
Zuko was staring at him expectantly, shaking Sokka out of his downward inner spiral. He flinched and turned to his brother-in-law. “Sorry, what?”
He studied Sokka carefully. For a second, Sokka was almost worried that Zuko was beginning to pick up on what he was panicking about. And then he snorted. Zuko would be the last person to realize if something was going on.
“I was asking,” Zuko repeated, “how are you going to get it back to Republic City?”
Sokka blinked at Zuko. He turned to the crib and blinked at it. “Yeah, I didn’t get that far in my plan.”
Toph snickered. “I can’t say I’m surprised. When do you ever think things through?”
She was right, in more ways than one.
Shit. I’ve fallen in love.