Work Text:
“How about this one for the living room? And you could do an accent wall with this one. That would look nice.” Mary held up a warm sand colored paint chip and placed a medium teal paint chip next to it.
Stede scrunched up his face, “I don’t know…”
“Stede, you’ve made that face for every paint sample I’ve suggested. You asked for my help. I believe your exact words were, ‘You’re the artist, Mary. Ed and I can’t agree on paint colors for the new house, and we could really use your expertise.’ If you’re not going to consider any of my suggestions, I’m taking Doug and going home.”
“I’m sorry, Mary. I did ask for your help. I’ll try to be more open-minded.”
A half hour later, they’d agreed on a lovely butter yellow for the kitchen (“Ed was wanting something like this”), light blue and caramel brown for the master bedroom (“I’m not sure, but I guess we can see what Ed thinks”), and charcoal gray and fuschia for the living room (Oh, I like this one! It reminds me of Ed’s favorite robe”). They were debating colors for the dining room when Stede realized he hadn’t seen or heard Ed for quite some time.
“Do you think we should look for Doug and Ed? They’ve been gone for a while,” Stede asked.
“We only need to decide on one more room. I’m sure they’re fine, Stede,” Mary waved her hand absently, focused on the paint chips. “They’re probably in Appliances comparing specs on all of the refrigerators, or over in Lighting discussing the finer points of different fixtures.”
“I’m sure you’re right. It’s just that I forgot to remind Ed to take his ADHD meds this morning. I hope he remembered.”
“So he’ll be a little unfocused and hyperactive. There’s plenty here to keep him occupied, and Doug will keep him out of trouble.” She shrugged, “Now, what about this one? I think it’ll go nicely with the furniture.”
The PA system crackled to life: Mary Allamby and Stede Bonnet, please come to the Customer Service desk to get your husbands.
They exchanged a look and made their way to the front of the store. Ed and Doug were leaning against the counter; Ed smiled and gave them a little finger wave, while Doug looked sheepish.
“Hello, sweetheart. Are we getting banned from another home improvement store?”
“No. But, love, how was I supposed to know that it’s against store policy to build a Rube Goldberg machine in the Electrical department?” Ed pouted.
“Doug, tell me you weren’t helping him with this?” Mary asked, flabbergasted.
“Ed’s very persuasive, dear. He made a good case,” Doug shrugged.
“Well, while we’re here, do you like these paint colors, darling?” Stede showed Ed the paint chips that Mary had picked out for each room.
“Love ‘em. Let’s do it. Awesome work, Mare!”
“We just need to get the paints mixed. Think you can keep busy for a bit longer?”
Ed’s mouth curled into an impish smile as he caught Doug’s eye. “Oh, for sure. You and Mary go get the paint. Doug and I are gonna go race shopping carts in the parking lot while we wait.”
Ed grabbed Doug’s arm and walked him toward the exit. “Text me when you get to the car,” he called over his shoulder.
“Well,” Stede rubbed his hands together, “let’s get those paints.” He headed back toward the Paint department, leaving Mary standing in front of the Customer Service counter, mouth slightly agape.
“There go the step-fathers of my children,” she said to no one in particular. She shook herself, took a deep breath and followed Stede to the paint mixing station.