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Amy was preparing breakfast for Sheldon, plain porridge as usual, as her boyfriend came into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” he groaned. “I apologize for exceeding my bathroom time.”
Amy looked up from the muesli she was stirring and mustered him. “Good morning, Sheldon. You don’t look too hot. Are you alright?”
Sheldon put a hand on his lower belly and shook his head. “I’m afraid I’m not feeling too well.”
“What’s the matter? Are you experiencing abdominal discomfort?” Amy asked, concern flooding her heart.
Sheldon nodded and sat down slowly on the sofa, crouching a bit. “I’m heavily constipated. I pushed and pushed, but nothing would come out.”
Amy scrunched up her nose. “I didn’t need those details.” She let the bowl rest and left the kitchen island, taking a seat next to Sheldon on their sofa. “Still, I’m sorry that you feel so bad. Any idea what’s causing this? Are there some changes in your diets that I haven’t yet perceived?”
Sheldon sat up and turned to face her. “Amy, you know that I’d never change my diet. No person of sound mind would do that, and as you hopefully know, I’m the person with the most sound mind on this planet.”
Amy snickered, then shrugged. “Well, it could be something else, you know. Maybe not changes in the alimentary sense, but maybe something in your life has changed.”
“You mean besides the fact that you’re leaving me for six months to go to Princeton? I don’t think anything has changed,” Sheldon huffed and crossed his arms.
“Is this still about that job offer? I already told them I’d do it. It’s an extraordinary opportunity for me, and you as my boyfriend should support me.”
“I know,” Sheldon mumbled, looking down ashamed and rubbing his stomach absentmindedly.
“Sheldon,” Amy sighed. “What exactly is the problem with me gone?”
“Do you promise not to laugh?” Sheldon asked and sounded like a child, which he was sometimes respectively most of the time.
Amy nodded kindly and put a hand on his knee, which she hoped was a reassuring gesture that showed him how important he was to her.
“I don’t know how I should do life without you,” Sheldon muttered.
Amy’s heart melted. “Sheldon, first of all, you could say things like that more often, second of all – “
“Will you stay if I do?” Sheldon interrupted her, impolitely. He crossed his arms again.
Amy rolled her eyes. “No, Sheldon, I won’t stay. It’s really important for me personally and for my career to go to Princeton for summer. Second of all, I love you Sheldon, and I promise you that I’ll come back. You won’t ever have to do life alone. Do you understand?”
Sheldon nodded. His eyes glistened at her words, and Amy was proud of herself. “My abdomen still hurts, though,” he noted and winced.
“Cramps?”
Sheldon nodded miserably.
Amy scooted closer to him. “May I?”
“What?” Sheldon asked, confused.
“This,” Amy answered and splayed her hand across his clothed belly. She felt his intestines gurgle beneath her palm, which she instantly took away because it began to feel weird. “There seems to be a lot going on in here. No wonder you’re experiencing abdominal discomfort.”
“Can you rub my belly and sing the soft kitty song?” Sheldon asked.
Amy stared at him in disbelief. “You want me to rub your belly?”
“Yes, please,” Sheldon answered and grinned mischievously. Then he grabbed Amy’s hand and placed it beneath his t-shirt directly upon his bare abdomen. “Nice slow circles and soft kitty song, please. My Meemaw and my mother used to do this whenever I felt sick as a child.”
Amy opened her arms. “Okay, but cuddle closer.”
Sheldon ended up in her arms, and Amy did as promised and rubbed his belly. “You know, Sheldon, I think I know why you’re constipated.”
“Oh, you know why I haven’t yet been able to defecate?”
“How long have you been holding on to your feelings? How long have you thought that I could ever leave you?”
“Amy, that’s a constant fear I live with,” Sheldon cried and hugged his belly. “Ouch.”
“Oh Sheldon, I’m sorry your tummy’s hurting so much,” Amy frowned, inspecting his quite bloated abdomen. “We have to be able to talk about such things as a couple. Why didn’t you come and talk to me sooner?” Amy asked and drew circles into her boyfriend’s tortured abdomen. She felt the gas shift beneath her hands, as she worked deeper.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m weak for being so madly in love with you that my stomach hurts so much in fear of losing you one day,” Sheldon sobbed quietly.
Amy’s heart ached at his words. “Oh come here, don’t cry. I’m here, and I will never leave your side, but you’ve got to understand that I’m still going to Princeton. However, don’t worry, we’ll have skype dates every night.”
“Can you promise that?”
“Yes, Sheldon, I can promise that,” Amy smiled at him.
“Will you also promise that you won’t flirt with another man?” Sheldon asked.
“I didn’t know you could be jealous, Sheldon,” Amy replied, surprised. “I can assure you, no man will ever come before you. You’re the most important man in my life and you will be forever.”
“Very well said, Amy. Now please sing the soft kitty song.”
“Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr Purr Purr,” Amy sang and hoped that she was able to calm down her boyfriend a little. Apparently, it worked, for he fell asleep in her arms. He seemed quite peaceful, but his intestines were still gurgling audibly. Thus, Amy resumed her abdominal massage to get things moving, so that maybe he would have a bowel movement when he awoke.