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“Scott! Scott? Scott, Scott, please! Scott!”
-
The only thing Owen could see was clouds. Clouds of gray, plumes billowing in his brain. The drowsiness, the fatigue- it all came with the storm in his skull. It thundered over his limbs, dragged him down, and he was barely fluttering back into consciousness. In, out, in, out- a storm with cracking lightning he only caught glimpses of.
And the next strike is when Owen finally opened his eyes.
He couldn’t open them entirely, seeing the blaring light in front of him. There were lights dangling above him that were way too bright and blurred everything else in the room, and he vetoed to close his eyes again. Even with his eyes closed, his head pounded painfully against his temples and the top of his head, spreading down to a dull but burning pain in his chest.
Ow… What… Owen tried creaking a singular eye open again, trying to squint up at the light, but fell back into a restless state with a faint groan. It all hurts still… What happened?
There were voices in the distance, muffled but present beyond the walls. Owen didn’t try to lift his head up; he kept his eyes closed but ears swiveling to try and listen for them and pick them out individually. However, the strain in his ears made the pain pulse from his temple out to the pinna of his ears. He let his ears settle, a soft whimper eroding from his throat. Everything feels so… Groggy. Why can’t I remember anything right now? This ache is awful…
“Owen?”
Owen’s eyes attempted to open again, this time able to register the lights at a considerable amount that allowed him to open them more as he tilted his head slightly to see the two figures walking in, worry and confusion emitting from their tense shoulders and rancid fear smell. The smaller rat behind the tall lavender blur held something in their paws; a glass cylinder filled with liquid that reminded Owen of his dried mouth. Water, water. Need… Water…
His hand instinctively reached out for it, but the purple paw intercepted it gently and rested his wrist down, voice easy and lulling, “You can have a drink in a second. Let’s see if you can sit up first.”
Owen let out a faint groan in protest, but finally obliged as the purple figure slung by his shoulder, reassuring paws on his back and under his arm as he gently guided Owen up to a sitting position. Stars and ash clouds danced in his vision, and he gently shut his eyes to fight off the vertigo with another groan. Ow…
“Easy,” the voice beside him urged, a whiff of lavender gentleness tinging it. A paw stayed on his back, slowly rubbing it with slight rigidity from uncertainty. Owen leaned into his touch, however, and the tension slowly eased as he continued the circular tracing. “Just take it slow, we aren’t going anywhere.”
Owen took a few deep breaths, waiting until they were steady to open his eyes again. The familiar tangerine sheets of his bed glowed back at him, the figure at the end by his feet with the glass cup becoming more clear. Black and gray fur outlining concerned eyes and a green outfit, fidgeting on nervous paws, and Owen slowly turned his head to the figure beside him, now taking in the monocle and eloquent stature.
Owen took in another shaky breath, exhaling in faint relief as his voice tried weakly, “Acho. Olive.”
Olive seemed to ease a little at his words, but Acho’s gaze was still full of concern. He nodded to Olive, and they came forward with the reward as they passed the water to Owen. As he took it in shaky paws, Acho warned softly, “Take that slow too; we don’t want it coming back up.”
Owen tried his best to keep it slow, but the sanctuary that the water provided made it almost impossible not to guzzle in a full sitting. He felt a gentle prod from Acho slowing him down, and he finally removed it from his snout with a small gasp, wiping the remaining dribbles off of his chin. I don’t remember the last time water tasted so euphoric.
Acho reached for the glass and set it on the small desk beside Owen, scooting forward so he was crouched next to Owen’s head. As Olive made their way beside Acho, the purple rat questioned softly, “Do you remember what happened?”
Owen squinted at Acho, trying to breathe still through the fire in his chest. He felt it blaze more when he tried to reach into the haze for his memories, groaning and touching his head with his paws. “I dunno… It’s so foggy…” It still hurts…
“Don’t strain yourself,” Acho immediately reassured, and his gentle paw rested on Owen’s arm again. “Just take your time. We’re here for you when you’re ready.”
“I’ll go get more water,” Olive offered, glancing at the glass with barely a trickle left before they straightened up and slipped away. Acho nodded to them in thanks when they slipped out, turning his gaze back to Owen as he closed his eyes again.
What happened, what happened? He tried to reach through the haze again, reaching into the fire into his chest. Why are you in pain? What happened again?
Owen paused at the small ripple, glancing down at his paws. Orange-brown fur, but had a tint of something next to his claws that he peered closer at. What is that…?
A small clipping of turquoise vines smiled up at him with a cerulean lip, minuscule but enough to catch his attention and cause a small thud, as if a stone were thrown back against the wall his brain had been shielding everything away with. It was enough for the flow to start, for the haze to clear and the fire to burn more as the memories tumbled out in a quick, painful flash. Spores. Vines. Mushroom. Danger. Scott. Me. Poison. Wither.
Owen let out a ragged gasp, making Acho jump as the injured rat barreled in rapid babbles, “Spores… Poison… Humans… Basement… Poison, wither…”
“Woah, woah,” Acho tried to soothe, moving his paw down to Owen’s leg as the rat sat gasping to himself. He pressed his paw down a little onto Owen’s leg, no painful urge but enough to stir him to meet the steady gray eyes. “Owen, breathe. Breathe with me. Slower. Slower.”
Owen watched Acho take breaths in front of him, struggling gasps trying to match him. It was a struggle at first, trying to fight the fire his memories left now, but there was solace in the rich oxygen that was now filling his lungs, replacing the thick haze his chest and mind were clouded with. It was a cushion cooling his system, and his eyes fluttered close in relief at the soothing air. Fresh air… Fresh air… I can breathe… Breathe…
The clear oxygen helped his gears turn back on in his head, clicking back together and now turning back into their normal motion. With the memories now at a more even pace, Owen exhaled and opened his eyes, meeting Acho’s own as he whispered, “I remember now.”
Acho nodded, a flicker at the corner of his eye making Owen turn to Olive entering the room again with a full pitcher of water in their hands. Owen’s mouth felt more dry at the sight, and he made a small insistent noise towards them as he glanced rapidly between his glass and the pitcher.
“Of course,” Acho obliged, grabbing the glass and passing it to Olive. As the rat filled it up and passed it over to Acho for Owen to snatch and guzzle, Acho urged softly, “Are you comfortable telling us what happened?”
Owen quenched the grappling thirst at the back of his throat, satisfied with the pouch of water now traveling through his system as he set his glass down, letting out another breath before nodding. “Yeah, yeah… Sorry, I just…”
“Don’t apologize!” Olive blurted, Acho nodding fervently in agreement as the other rat settled in and perched beside Acho at Owen’s bedside. “Don’t ever apologize for that. Take your time, Owen. There’s no rush.”
Owen blinked at them both, gratitude warming his chest before he took one last deep breath and began explaining quietly, “Down in the basement, there… There’s poisonous spores. I went down there to go, um… Go examine them and… They’re a bit… Hazardous.” He flinched, rubbing his still aching throat. “Guess it’s a bit more deadly than I thought.”
Acho and Olive exchanged startled looks, Olive repeating in surprise, “Poisonous spores?”
“How?” Acho wondered, and Owen couldn’t help but wince slightly. Acho studied Owen in confusion. “How did they get there?”
“Did the humans put them down there?” Olive theorized, tapping their chin and not noticing Owen’s stillness. “That would be silly, though… How did they get down there?”
“And how can we get rid of them?” Acho wondered, tail twitching with his own thoughts.
Owen rubbed his chest, guilty drips starting to clot in his veins as he answered Acho’s latter question, “I think the humans are taking care of it; it’s contained now, so I think it’s… Best if they deal with it.”
“Probably,” Acho mumbled, but his tail was still twitching and occupied with other thoughts. Owen didn’t try to offer any more response to him, starting to feel his shoulders tense. Please don’t suspect me, please don’t suspect me…
“But how did they get down there?” Olive wondered still, making Owen wince again. Their round eyes were focused on Acho, the office duo studying each other as ideas and theories bounced between their eyes. “When we went down there, we barely glanced at them, right? I didn’t really see them much.”
“Neither did I,” Acho admitted, grabbing his tail and tapping the end of it with his claws. “I actually didn’t know that they were there; they were kinda just a blur in the background.
Owen balked for a moment, blinking at them. “You guys… You went down there? To the basement?”
“Not to the plants,” Acho informed, ear flicking as he turned his eyes back to Owen. “We just… We heard you calling out faintly through the rafters. Then we just… We knew something had happened. So we followed where we thought it was coming from, went outside and…”
Acho trailed off, Owen surprised to see his eyes starting to fog up. Olive set a quiet paw on Acho’s shoulder, finishing the story for him, “When we got there, we saw you collapsed near the entrance of the basement. We honestly didn’t spend time looking up and around the room; we just saw you down and knew we had to save you. So we scooped you up and took you back here to let you rest and worry about it when you woke up again.”
“Can't believe it was a plant,” Acho muttered, shaking his head. There was no dig in his voice, however; if anything he sounded more… Afraid.
Owen’s fingers fiddled with each other, fretting as his ears started to pin back in guilt at the lapse of silence between them. What do I say, what do I say…?
In the silence, Owen finally felt Acho’s eyes move to him, questions stirring up, but Owen blurted out before he could say anything, “Thank you. I'm surprised you found me.”
“I’m glad we did!” Olive chimed, a weak smile on their face. “Of course we came for you; no rat left behind.”
Acho nodded, but his eyes were still distant as he studied Owen. Owen’s hair started to prick up, unsettling shivers of guilt combing for a cold current down his spine. He knows… He knows something, right? Does he? What is he thinking?
But instead, Acho asked with genuine confusion, “Do you know how they got down there or what the spores specifically are? We should probably tell the other rats so that they know not to go near it. We need to let them know the next time everyone’s awake again from their naps.”
Olive nodded earnestly, an aching knot in Owen’s stomach twisting tightly and making the water in his gut lurch uncomfortably. Oh no, oh no… Should I tell them? It’s going to get back to Scott, isn’t it? He’s going to know…
I'm going to have to face him now with this happening… What do I say…? What can I say? He’s going to be so upset with me, he’s going to… What do I do…?
“Owen?” Acho’s voice stirred him out of his thoughts, more concerned as he peered into his face. “You okay? Do you need to lay back down? You, uh, look a little surly.”
Owen bit his lip, studying Acho for a long moment before looking away, mumbling, “I, um… I think I…”
His voice trailed off, growing quieter and cracking. He coughed, covering his mouth with his paw and closing his eyes, avoiding the stares as he mumbled, “I may have planted it there.”
A long pause, heavy stares weighing on Owen’s shoulders as he refused to open his eyes. When no one spoke up, Owen creaked one of his eyes to see the shocked expressions of the rats around him and feeling the guilt further boil below.
“What?” Olive whispered, one paw on their snout in surprise.
“How?” Acho breathed, gaze intent on Owen. “How did you do it?”
Owen shrank in on himself, but kept going forward as he mumbled, “It was… I was cleaning with other rats… We were supposed to get rid of it… Scott wanted me to, but… I…”
“But you planted it?” Acho finished, voice hitching in disbelief. Owen flinched, not responding as the other rat shook his head, blinking rapidly. “Why?”
“I just- I was curious!” Owen’s voice broke, shaking his head vigorously. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know it would grow that quickly! I didn’t know it was that bad!”
“But Scott…” Olive trailed off, twitching their tail and looking conflicted as they studied Owen. “He knows plants. Why didn’t you…?”
“You can’t tell him,” Owen begged, the vertigo still in mild effect as he lunged forward for Olive, reaching for their paws. They jumped in surprise, but didn’t pull their paws away as Owen squeezed them while giving Acho and Olive both desperate looks. “You can’t tell him please. He’ll be so upset with me. I know I need to tell him. I just- I’ll figure it out.”
Acho shared an uncertain look with Olive, and Owen reached for his paws now, pleading softly, “Please just… Don’t tell him how I ended up like this. I’ll figure something out, okay? Just please don’t tell him.”
Acho hesitated for a long moment, still assessing Olive for a long moment before letting out a deep sigh, pulling away and standing up. As Olive joined his side, he agreed, “Fine, fine, I won’t say anything. But I better not get my tail chewed for this.”
Olive nodded, looking uneasy, and Owen nodded more vigorously in emphasis. “Thank you both, thank you. I appreciate it. I promise I won’t let him yell at you guys. You won’t get in trouble.” He gave them a weak smile, huffing, “In fact, he’ll probably be happy to know that you guys saved me. I'm sure he’ll let you go when he knows that.”
Acho visibly relaxed, and he nodded with a soft sigh. “That’s true. Thanks, Owen.”
Olive stepped forward again, placing a paw back on Owen’s bed with a faint smile. “We should probably let you rest, but if you need anything else from us, just let us know.”
“I will.” Owen gave them a weak smile in return, nodding as he slowly situated himself back down into the sheets. “Thank you guys, truly.”
Acho gave him a weak smile and a polite tilt of his head, excusing himself as he ducked out of the room. Olive went to follow him out, but paused in the doorway and turned to study Owen poking out from the blankets. When Owen met their eyes, Olive gave them a weak smile. “I know you were calling out for him. We heard it faintly in the rafters.”
Owen’s ears started to burn, opening his mouth to try and protest, but Olive cut him off with a soft but insistent plea, “Just be honest with him, Owen. He’ll be upset, yes, but he cares about you so much. Just as much as you care for him. It’ll be okay. And if anyone can fix this problem, it’s you two.”
Owen clamped his mouth shut, eyes widening at the sudden compliment. But before Owen could stammer out a response, Olive flashed him one last smile before flicking off the lights and slipping out of the room. Owen situated himself under the blankets again, staring up at the roof with a sickly nervous butterfly fluttering around, tickling his lungs and heart before worming its way into his stomach.
How do I tell him? How do I… Explain this? What do I say? Will I even find the right thing to say? Olive’s right; he’s going to be upset. But if he cares about me as much as I care about him… It’ll be okay, right? It should be okay.
It’ll be okay… Hopefully…
But the drunken and worrisome butterfly was still awake, still beating its wings around even as Owen drifted off to sleep.
-
Owen wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he woke up again, a sleepy cloud of white lining his eyes now instead of the pressurized haze that had clouded his head when he first awoke after his poisoning. He let out a soft noise, content in the mushy cloud greeting him. Nice and soft… Comfy… Warm… Maye just a few more minutes…
But then there was a voice, curt and thick as it spoke next to him bluntly, “Don’t close your eyes again on me unless you want to keep them closed for the rest of time.”
Owen’s eyes slammed open, a shocked gasp choking him at the horrifying familiar voice. He pushed his palms down, shooting up into a sitting position in his bed as his head whipped around to the side. The fierce movement made a sharp jab of pain pierce his neck, and he let out a pained cry and tenderized it with his paw as he stared at the figure beside his bed.
Beside the bed, a familiar blue-haired rat was sitting in a chair propped next to the desk with his legs crossed and tail resting on the floor. He was holding a basket of things that Owen couldn’t pick out entirely, but he thought he saw a mess of foods and flowers in them, his expression blank as he studied the goods in his lap.
But when Owen stared at him, his eyes flicked up to meet him as well. And Owen shuddered at the stare that was held, the emotionless eyes that normally held so much warmth and care. But now, Owen felt like the small pebble dropping into their cold blue depths.
And in that stare, Owen knew. He swallowed thickly, already feeling the dread sweating his skin. He knows, doesn’t he?
Trying his best at formalities, he greeted in a broken voice, “Hi, Scott…”
Scott closed his eyes, breaking the stare first as he turned his head away, taking a deep breath. Owen bowed his head, staring down at his paws folded together as he mumbled, “You know, don’t you?”
A lingering pause that Owen couldn’t help but sneak a glance towards Scott through. The other rat looked up, inhaling again before shaking his head, explaining in a tense voice, “I didn’t know at first, admittedly. I was just told by Acho that you had blacked out, didn’t wake up for a while, that whole thing.”
A disbelieving smile wore down his round cheeks, followed by a weak laugh as he looked down. “I was so confused and scared. I asked if you were okay, if you were still alive. And when he confirmed that you were, I asked how it happened. And Acho, he… Well, he’s not the best liar when it comes to this.”
Owen flinched, but Scott continued on, “He didn’t have to say it explicitly, but his expression reminded me of something we talked about right before I went to nap. So I went to check it out, and… I thought everything seemed normal at first, but then… It looked like one of the outer fences had been gnawed through. As if someone had decided to go look at something they weren’t supposed to.”
Owen didn’t look up, but he felt the stare down his neck that made his hairs stand up. His grip on his hands were tight, ears twitching in discomfort and unease. No words fell out of his mouth; even his thoughts were scared into silence.
Another deep inhale, followed by a soft laugh that made the butterfly from the night before go into overdrive in Owen’s gut. “You know, I wondered at first how that fungi got in there in the first place. Especially when we cleaned out all of the ones that I was aware of and even burned them because I knew they were dangerous. And how I told the two rats that were with me not to touch it because it could be dangerous and to get rid of it. Surely they would’ve listened to me. Surely they would’ve trusted me enough to listen to me.”
Owen’s heart chipped away slightly, seeds of guilt and pain blossoming and blooming where his heart had been clipped away. He tried a glance up, but regretted it immediately at the strained expression on Scott’s face, at the pain in his smile. Another sad chuckle left him. “I put the two pieces together, but that didn’t mean I believed it at first. I thought you would be more sensible than that. You’re the smartest rat here, surely you couldn’t have. But you know what I realized about you?”
Scott turned to look at him now, faint bubbles of tears in his eyes. Owen wanted to look away; he wanted to swaddle this rat up, hug him until that sorrowful expression melted away from his face and never returned.
But he stared, and he didn’t move his gaze as Scott whispered painfully, “I realized the one thing you have the most smarts for. The one thing you care about most is tinkering. Experimenting. You love working with things and figuring out how they work so you can fix them and remake them so they work in your favor. That’s what you do, and you’re brilliant at it.”
Scott’s expression dropped to his empty hands, the basket he previously had now on the floor. Owen couldn’t remember when it had moved there, but it wasn’t important now as Scott’s hands trembled. “But I realized that means… You… You care about your tinkering much more than me, don’t you?”
“What?” Owen breathed, finally finding his voice from the whiplash he now felt as he lurched forward, attempting to reach for the other rat and feeling more cracks in his heart when he sat back, pulling away. Owen’s voice was soft, pleading. “No, no, Scott. That’s not true, that’s never-“
“Then why didn’t you listen to me?” Scott challenged, cutting him off with gritted teeth as he met his begging eyes with his own tear-filled ones. “Why didn’t you listen to what I told you to do? About how dangerous they could be and why you needed to get rid of it? Why didn’t you? Why couldn’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you!” Owen protested. He hated how weak his voice was, he hated how it was wheedling and pleading. But the pain in his heart was pulsing, no matter how small the chips away in his chest were. “Scott, I trust you with everything I have, I swear. This has nothing to do with that.”
“Does it not?” Scott challenged again bitterly, scooting further back away from the bed-ridden rat sitting up. “You hid the shroom after I told you to get rid of everything. After I told you everything it could do to you. And yet when I showed you evidence of the spores growing in the basement, you didn’t fess up and admit that you did it. Because you knew how upset I would be.”
“Exactly!” Owen strained, but balked at Scott’s expression flaring and scrambled his words, “Scott, wait, please! I promise, it’s nothing to do with trust or anything like that!”
“For you it doesn’t!” Scott flared, standing up out of his seat suddenly and making the chair teeter, falling back with a thud that made Owen flinch. But the rat sitting before was standing now and quivering in rage, fat tears stuck on his bottom eyelids. “But for me, it does! It means almost everything to me!”
He put a paw to his chest, gripping the paler fur there. “I don’t have much here, Owen. I know that I don’t have a big use here- not like you or Apo or other rats with authority. I know I’m not like that. Crops aren’t much compared to what others can do.”
“Scott-“ Owen tried to protest, eons of defense in honor of his friend on his tongue. He can’t think that, he’s not- He’s one of the- He can’t-
“I don’t have much here that I can do,” Scott interrupted, a steeled glare shutting Owen up instantly. His voice was wavering, but cold enough to numb Owen’s extremities and crawl up the rest of his body. “But what I do have is plant knowledge. Being on a farm gives me that knowledge. I know what I’m doing with that. That’s probably the one thing I have above other rats here.”
Owen saw his bottom lip quivering as well, larger chunks of his heart serrated with claws as Scott painfully rasped, “So when my best friend goes behind my back and decides to do something with a plant that can, and now has, killed him once, it falls on my shoulders with my knowledge that it has the power to do that. But you didn’t listen. You ignored me.”
His voice lurched, but it continued in a strangled snarl, “Your shortsightedness just shows how much you actually listen to me. Or value my opinion. And it really does hurt when the one rat I considered my best friend doesn’t even trust me enough with the one thing I’m useful for.”
Each word was a rip and stomp down on what used to remain of Owen’s heart, a painful jab each time that left him breathless. The pain coursing in his veins, along with the absolute heartache and despair at his friends tears made his hands tremble, made his gears spin out of control as he shook his head, frantic mumbling coming from his mouth, “No, no, Scott, please, listen to me-“
“What?” Scott snapped, voice cracking and making Owen flinch again as he stiffened up. “What could you possibly say that could make this better? What could you try to explain that would make this whole situation better?”
Owen swallowed, paws trembling as his lungs failed to inhale. He was fighting for his breath, fighting for his friend as he whispered, “Scott, please, I just-“
But he was cut off by a flash, a blur as paws suddenly fastened a grip on Owen’s shirt and blue eyes streaming with tears met his. Owen was startled into meeting those eyes paired with flattened ears, heartbroken and betrayed grooves weaving through Scott’s face as he sobbed, “You died, Owen! And I wasn’t there to save you!”
The farm rat loosened his grip slightly, but his sobs overcame him as he bowed his head, sniffles and whimpers finally crawling out of his mouth. Owen wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders before he could pull away, trying to keep a firm grip so he wouldn’t move away but also trying not to crowd over him. His own tears leaked onto Scott’s head, ragged breathing messing with the aches his chest still felt from the toxic air he breathed.
Owen didn’t try to speak, just letting Scott cry out the pent up emotions he had just let out. If anything, Owen felt his tongue numbing up and everything else starting to blur around him as his brain tried to comprehend everything revealed to him. Each one was a new heartbreak, though, further driving deep down into his soul.
I hurt him. I hurt him badly. No, no… This wasn’t meant to happen…
So he told him, as quietly and as gently as possible through chattering teeth from trembling sobs, “Scott, this wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this… I was never… I never wanted you to feel like this. Ever. You should never have to doubt my loyalty and trust with you.”
Scott looked up slowly, trying to blink the moisture away as Owen met his gaze with his own wet eyes, trying his best through a weak voice, “I am so, so sorry, Scott. I never should’ve kept the spore, I never should’ve done any of this. I really shouldn’t have. And I would never have done it had I known you would feel like this.”
Small bubbles of protest started frothing in Scott’s eyes, so Owen tried his best to continue on, “I know that doesn’t change what happened. That won’t change how you feel, and I can’t say that you shouldn’t feel that way because I understand why you do. I hate that I made you feel this way, but I do understand. And I am so sorry.”
He unwound his arms, but moved them to Scott’s paws. He squeezed his scarred hands with the muddy ones of his friend, meeting his eyes with as much earnesty as he could through his shaking frame. “I promise I will do better. I will do so, so much better for you. You’re my best friend, Scott. Always. And you mean so much more to me than my tinkering now. You’re worth so much more to me than the tinkering, than your knowledge of plants. You’re worth more than that to me. To everyone.”
Scott sniffed loudly, taking one of his paws away to rub his face. Owen caught his wrist, making the rat pause and meet his eyes as Owen promised him again with as much conviction as he had, “I will do better. And I will show you that you mean more to me. I’m sorry, Scott. I will be better.”
Owen’s voice dried up from his tears, and he hiccuped before falling silent. The two rats stared at each other for a long moment, Scott assessing him and scanning every inch of his snout and his face in those heavy beats of silence. Owen held his breath with the scrutiny, trying his best to pick up the falling pieces of his heart. Please, Scott… Please forgive me…
Eventually, Scott unwound their hands slowly and pulled away, sniffing and lowering his gaze. Owen felt his ears droop, his whole body sinking away from the lack of touch. But Scott didn’t walk away; instead, he lingered by the bedside, eyes spinning for another moment before he breathed in deeply and nodded. His voice was muffled, but he murmured quietly, “Thank you, Owen.”
Owen swallowed thickly, nodding wordlessly. Scott didn’t look back at him, instead turning to look out the window briefly before exhaling slowly. “I know the humans said that they were going to get rid of it, but… I think we need to do it.”
Owen felt a slight whiplash from the change in conversation, but he nodded as he added with a weak laugh, “I agree. Might as well fix the problem I made, right?”
He felt Scott’s eyes on him very briefly, scanning him before moving away as he mumbled, “Right, well… I’ve got a basket of food and flowers for you here.”
He squatted down, lifting it up and onto the bed with a surprised squeak from Owen. He blinked up at him, but Scott still wasn’t meeting his eyes as he stared down at the food, shoulders tensed. “Just rest up for now. I’ll start thinking about ideas about how to get rid of it. I’ll consult you if needed.”
“Of course,” Owen agreed, voice faint. A silence lingered, and Owen broke it with a mumble, “Thank you.”
Scott finally lifted his head up to stare at him for a longer moment, Owen shuffling back in his skin. There was still residue of tears in his eyes, and the farm rat wiped them away with his arm and another sniff as he mumbled, “I’m going to let you rest up a bit more. I… I need to be alone for a bit, anyways. But I’ll come find you again soon.”
Owen paused, watching him go towards the door with a stumbling mind. That’s… That’s it? It can’t- I can’t let him leave like this. There’s so much… But I… I…
Before he could stop himself, Owen blurted, “Wait!”
Scott froze, whipping his head around with surprise. All of the fight and words Owen wanted to say left his voice, drifting away and coming back some other day.
So Owen just tucked his hands together, not hiding the small tears that flicked out again as he gave Scott a weak smile, trying his best to sound convincing as he whispered, “You make me the happiest I’ve ever been. And I’m glad I met you.”
Scott stiffened, eyes widening slightly as the echoes of that conversation now floated into the room. Owen could still remember the stars, the way his friend lit up as they wished on shooting stars. How peaceful it was, how joyous and full of love.
Those same eyes didn’t have the same peace and joy in them as they did that night, now broken into fragments and clouded over in pain and disarray.
But Owen saw a faint smile crease Scott’s face, and in that glimpse he caught the same amount of love, even for just a moment as the rat whispered, “Rest well, Owen.”
Then he was out, small sniffles heard as he exited the building. Owen didn’t try to chase him, didn’t try to call him back. Instead, he studied the goods for a moment before shuffling back into his bed, letting out a ragged and choked sigh. That could not have gone worse. I didn’t realize he would be that upset… I can’t blame him. I can't believe he felt that way… That he feels that way… He doesn’t realize how important he is here. Not just to me, but to so many of us here…
I’ll help him realize it. Soon. Eventually. It’s going to be a long time before he trusts me fully again. That realization was met with a gut punch that made him sob softly again, shaking his head. I deserve that.
I’ll earn it back. And I’ll make Scott realize he’s more capable than he realizes. We’ll get rid of this spore together.
And after that… Well… Maybe we can go stargazing again. Maybe we can… We can be best friends again.
It wasn’t much, just a wistful dream reaching for something beyond, but for now… It would have to do.
And he would make it work eventually.