Chapter Text
Chuuya woke up in the middle of the night screaming and sweating.
His heart pounds in his ears as he clutches his chest. The bedroom feels small as he tries to steady his own breathing. All he can remember from his dream is a man wearing bandages on his left eye, falling off a building.
Chuuya didn’t see the man’s entire face. He didn’t even recognize who it was.
But deep down it felt so real.
It is too real for his own liking. The pain in his chest leaves something in him. It’s as if his own heart breaks into two.
It’s not real. It’s just a dream. A dream, you stupid idiot.
Chuuya grabs the water bottle on his desk and drinks. He takes a glance at the clock on his table as it shows that it was three in the morning.
Goddamn it.
The redhead crashes back into his bed and sighs. Maybe the stress caused the dream. Spending most of his night reviewing and stressing over the major exam at his university the next day isn’t the best condition for a relaxing sleep.
Chuuya covers his eyes with his arm and tries his best to fall back asleep.
When he does, he still hears how the bandaged man’s body thuds on the concrete ground.
A few hours later when the sunlight peeks through Chuuya’s curtains, he grumbles as he reaches for his phone to check the time.
6:00 am.
The redhead groans and slowly gets up from his bed. If he didn’t wake up earlier then he would have had a better sleep. He walks to the bathroom to get a shower and then, later on, wears his casual outfit for school.
When he walks into the kitchen in his shared dormitory, his roommate is not around. But this wasn’t a surprise to Chuuya at all. Albatross is always out late at night and comes home at the most awful time. His roommate gets drunk at the nearest club and hooks up with whoever unfortunate human is within Albatross’ reach.
Chuuya doesn’t deny that his roommate is attractive but the other is too chaotic for the redhead’s liking. He just hopes Albatross will take it easy on the drinking.
He cooks himself a heavy breakfast. It is important to always check on his diet since his coach keeps bothering him about it.
Nakahara, you need more protein for god’s sake.
Oi, kid. Stay for 30 minutes after this training. You’re assigned to lift weights.
Have you checked the diet plan I told you about, kid?
Chuuya sighs as he cooks. Being a student-athlete obviously wasn’t easy but it’s what he always wanted to do. At the young age of 10, the redhead was interested in soccer. His older brother brought him to the games and Chuuya was amazed.
His sapphire eyes trying to catch up with every player running incredibly fast on the field never fails to catch his breath.
Kicking the ball to a teammate, stealing the ball to another, running… run and running until one strong kick reaches the goal.
Little ten-year-old Chuuya jumps from his seat, cheering for the winners. It never fails to put a huge smile on his face whenever he remembers watching his first game.
So here he was nine years later, a student-athlete for soccer.
Once he’s finished with his meal, he heads out of his dorm and goes to his university. The moment he finally reached his classroom, his classmates were already seated and preparing for the exam.
He found his seat and already sees Albatross’ head buried between his arms. The redhead sits beside him and took out his pens. “How was it?”
“Fucking awesome ,” his friend groans.
“Then you know this exam will last more than an hour before you get to eat lunch.”
“Whatever…”
Chuuya sighs and glances at him, “And… no way in hell you’re going to ask me questions today.”
“What?!” Albatross sits up. “But Chuuya you ALWAYS let me copy off from you!”
“Shut the fuck up!” the redhead whacks his friend’s head. The suspicious and annoyed glares in their direction were enough for Chuuya to get into trouble.
He massages his temples and lowers his voice, “You’re not going to copy off from me, idiot. You got yourself wasted last night then you fix this mess yourself.”
“I’ll pay you.”
Chuuya scoffs, “Yeah, that never will happen.”
Before Albatross could retort, the professor walks in and gives the instructions. Within the few minutes, he has left to spare, he quickly grabs one of his notebooks to review his notes. As usual, his friend is still tired and the hangover is still kicking in, not bothering to do one last review.
Chuuya flips open his notebook and scans last week’s lecture. But the moment his eyes scan the pages, he notices something different.
There were weird sketches and doodles at the sides and some at the center. He couldn’t really tell what it is but there were also a few little notes that Chuuya has to read thrice .
The handwriting is fucking messy and it's still processing in the redhead’s brain what he was reading.
I just bought a complete manual to suicide! Thank fuck. It’s annoying how it’s been banned. What about minorities like me who desperately need them?
Should probably stop by a hardware store for ropes.
How do I tell Kunikida I want to kiss him but in a friendly way?
My bandages are so itchy when will this dumb class end ughhhhh
Agenda for the week: Manipulate Yosano Mori-san to give me any medicine for overdose!
What the fuck.
What the FUCK?!
This must be some kind of prank or some shit Albatross is pulling. Obviously, this isn’t Chuuya’s own handwriting, and the last time he checked, he isn’t suicidal. But whatever he just read, it must be some kind of a sick joke.
The redhead glares at his friend and kicks his leg. Not too hard but strong enough to wake him up, “Did you fucking mess with my notes?”
“What?”
“I swear to god if you did this— ”
“Hold on, you have a cheat sheet there?” Albatross’ eyes widen and reach for the notebook, “What the fuck man?! Share it with me!”
“It’s NOT a damn ch—”
“Mr. Nakahara!” the professor shouts from across the room. His eyes were glaring at the two boys as all of the attention was on them. “Is there anything you would like to share with the class?”
Chuuya gulps down his nerves, “No, sir. I’m sorry.”
“I believe we are all smart enough not to cheat in this class. Or share any sort of notes with your seatmate.”
“Yes, sir.”
The professor squints and says, “Good. Now keep that notebook.”
The redhead sighs and gives a cold glare at his friend, who’s still moping at his desk. As soon as the examination papers reaches Chuuya, he stays focused and tries to erase the disturbing messages in his notebook.
✦✦✦✦✦
“I swear it wasn’t me!” Albatross whines as the two boys walk down the campus, “Look, Chuuya. I may be a genius and fucking hilarious at pranks but I wouldn’t go that far to joke about… suicide.”
“Then if it wasn’t you, who did it?”
“I don’t know!”
The redhead groans, “I don’t have time for this. Coach wants me to be at the field in ten minutes.”
Albatross frowns and stops in his tracks, “Your training doesn’t start for another hour. You haven’t even eaten lunch.”
“I know,” he sighs. “But don’t worry, I ate a heavy breakfast already. I’ll see you around, man.”
Chuuya pats him on the back and quickly heads to the locker room. His friend always worries despite his chaotic persona. But being one of the best players on the team, Coach Sakamoto wants him to be earlier on the field and have five rounds of running the entire area.
Chuuya is the striker on the team. His kicks were the strongest and despite his short height, he is also the fastest. So it's his job to score as much as possible and to keep his aim perfect.
You’re going places, kid. Just keep training. But train hard and you’ll have a bright future ahead if you still wanna be an athlete.
If he’s being honest, Chuuya doesn’t mind the intensive training. It was expected as a student-athlete but the high expectations and pressure from his coach and his own team were unbearable.
As he arrived at his locker and opened it, he froze.
“What the fuck?! ”
His training clothes and soccer uniform are soaked. The redhead glanced around the room and there was no one around but him. Usually, he’s alone since he’s always the first one in here.
But who the fuck would do this?
He trusts his teammates and they weren’t the type of wrecking someone’s training clothes. They know how terrifying their coach is on their team uniforms.
His first thought was Albatross but even his friend wouldn’t cross the line.
If Chuuya finds out the sick bastard who ruined his team uniform, he’s gonna beat the shit out of them.
He reached for his soaked clothes and they smell fucking disgusting. What was odd about it was there was a certain kind of odor. It smelled like it was dumped in a river. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took out the uniform and tossed it on the nearby sink.
How the fuck is he going to explain this to his coach? He didn’t bring his spare ones.
Groaning and conflicted with the situation, he shoved his soaked clothes in a plastic bag to bring them back to the dorms with him.
But as he was about to leave, a chill went down his spine. The redhead heard voices in the locker room.
“It’s not my fault you jumped right after me!”
“For god’s sake, Dazai! I was saving your life! You were drowning, jesus.”
“We have more important things to worry about. After I changed, why were my clothes suddenly dry in my locker?
Could it be the damn prank shitters? Chuuya quickly checked the area in the room again but he was alone. With brows furrowed, he scanned the room once more and there was no one around but him.
He swore he just heard two people talking. Checking the time, he should go out to the field and talk to the coach. And by the time he did…
“I’m sorry, what?” Coach Sakamoto, a tall and buff man glares at the redhead. “Your training clothes are soaked?”
Gathering all of his courage and standing still, “Yes.”
“The training shoes too?”
“Yeah…”
“If you’re pulling some kind of excuse—”
“I’m not, coach. Just found it in my locker dripping wet and everything.”
The older man crossed his arms and stared down at him, “You know the rules on uniforms. Even during training.”
“Yes, sir.” Chuuya winced. He was going to miss training. Then on the next one, he’s going to have more rounds of warm-ups, running and striking some balls on the net.
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He was immediately dismissed and Chuuya left the field. He has two more classes to attend and as soon as those were over, the redhead can’t help but be disappointed. Ever since he woke up this morning, things have gotten weird.
Maybe it was just a fucking unlucky day. And he hopes it's the last one for this year.
Because in the coming months, the competition starts with different soccer teams from several universities.
And being the competitive bastard that he is, he needs to lead his team to win.
As the two classes ended for the day, Chuuya needed a breather.
Being in the university has made his day awful. His teammates might go looking for him as he wasn’t around during training. Groaning at the thought of it, Chuuya took his extra hoodie from the locker in the hallway and put the hood over his head.
And the best way to keep his stress away was a little bit of music.
Taking out his phone and earphones, he shuffled his playlist and went out to wherever his feet would take him.
Hey prima donna, don't you wanna
Come a little closer, stay a little longer?
Despite his unlucky and awful day, the weather was nice as the redhead walks out of campus. His surroundings slowly change as he keeps walking he noticed he was walking through some kind of forest that was just near his university.
The pathway was clear as the wind blows his hair and a bit of sunlight shone through the trees’ leaves.
'Cause I hear your voice cut through the noise
And I wanna hear the words you say
At the end of the pathway of trees, Chuuya could see the blue oceanic view and his ears perk up at the birds flying by.
Hey prima donna, don't you wanna talk to me?
But as soon as he stepped closer, someone else was also there. Standing at the edge of the cliff, a tall young man was watching the view. He was wearing a school ID that Chuuya doesn’t recognize.
The redhead scans his eyes on him, there were bandages covered on his forearms and neck. The stranger had dark brown hair and he seemed to be too preoccupied with his head.
The brunet’s back was facing Chuuya and doesn’t seem to realize he was there in the first place.
He comes, and he goes, he's everywhere I wanna be
When he's high, when he's low, he's everything, everything
He stretches his arms wide as he puts one foot forward.
Oh.
Chuuya’s eyes went wide and it finally registers what the stranger was doing.
I follow him like satellites around, around he goes
He's everywhere, he's everything
His feet start running and running, as fast as he could and he gives a silent thank you for all those days of training on the field. Chuuya reached out his hand and if he was a split second too late, the man would have successfully jumped.
Without hesitating, the redhead’s hand had a tight grip on the stranger’s wrist and pulled him back hard .
The brunet stumbled back and collides with Chuuya, “Oh fuck!”
“Ow! What the hell?!”
The stranger finally looks at Chuuya with death written all over his eyes. As for the redhead, despite the height difference, the stranger was… handsome. In a different situation, he would have liked to admire the view with this kind of face.
Until the said face opened his mouth. “You interrupted my suicide!”
“Ha?!”
The taller man groans and walks away and approached the edge again as if wanting to give it another chance. But Chuuya was quick on his feet again to pull him back. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”
“That’s not something you should say to someone who was about to commit suicide!”
The redhead winced and rubbed his forehead, “Alright, I’m sorry. I mean it. Are you alright?”
The brunet brushed off the dirt in his pants as he stood up, throwing another annoyed glare at him, “Obviously not. You ruined my plans to die a sweet beautiful death and now I have to think of another way!”
Chuuya couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He just saved this bastard’s life and he’s the one to complain? “The right way to say that is to thank me, asshole.”
“If you were a little taller or a gorgeous lady right in front of me, I’d consider it.”
“Are you fucking serious?!”
The brunet shrugs him off and ignores the smaller man. Walking near the edge of the cliff again, his eyes look into the ocean view, he remains silent with a somber look on his face. Chuuya just witnessed this stranger who was about to commit suicide. As rude and annoying as this man is, the redhead couldn’t just leave right away.
“Do you want to talk about why you wanted to jump?”
The taller man scoffs.“Oh, don’t do that.”
“Don’t what?”
“Pity me. You have that ridiculous look on your face and I don’t need your pity just because you witnessed something you shouldn’t have in the first place.”
Rude bastard.
“Look,” the redhead sighs. “I’m trying to be nice, alright? I don’t want to leave you alone here and let you attempt to jump again.”
The brunet groans and his eyes were throwing daggers at Chuuya. “It’s a sunny day.”
The other blinks. “What?”
“It’s a sunny day,” he says, deadpan. “It has been raining the entire week which has been delaying my plans to kill myself. This was the only day when the clouds are clear where I want my death to be.”
Chuuya, on the other hand, has a quizzical look, “It hasn’t been raining the entire week.”
“Ugh, come on chibi. Have you been living under a rock? It’s been raining a lot because there’s a stupid typhoon— ”
“No there’s not! It’s been damn sunny the entire month in Japan!”
“What the h—”
“Dazai?”
The two boys freeze and another man walks in with a concerned face. He was tall with blonde hair, a bit tan, and had the same school ID lace with the brunet. His dark grey eyes were on the bandaged man, “Who are you talking to?”
“Ah, Kunikida!” The brunet, Dazai says in a sing-song voice. “Sorry, I know we’re up for the next class but can you please tell this chibi that I’m not spewing lies about the weather? He ruined my plans today.”
“Don’t fucking call me chibi!” Chuuya shouts and clenched his fists, resisting punching him.
Dazai smirks and waves his hand dismissively, “Keep embarrassing yourself, I won’t stop you.”
“You piece of s—”
“Dazai,” Kunikida, with worried eyes staring at the brunet only. “What are you doing and who are you talking to?”
The other frowns, “Kunikida, I told you this is Chibi-man and I actually…hold on. What’s your name, chibi?” he asks facing the redhead.
“It’s Chuuya, asshole,” he grumbles.
“Kunikida, meet Chuuya!” He extends his bandaged arm to his friend but the other looks troubled to understand what is going on.
“Dazai,” Kunikida says carefully. “There’s no one else in this area but us .”
The brunet blinks and laughs, “Wow Chuuya! You’re so tiny, he can’t even see you!”
“Will you fucking shut the hell up?!”
“Dazai,” Kunikida treads carefully and licks his lips, “Seriously, what’s going on? Are you okay? There’s no else here!”
Alright, this must be some kind of joke.
“Kunikida, playing games with me doesn’t suit you,” Dazai says slowly. “I don’t understand w—”
“Damn you, Dazai! I swear if you’re hallucinating or if you’re the one messing with me on this, I’ll kill you!”
The redhead eyes the other man carefully. The situation itself was ridiculous and he doesn’t understand why this stranger keeps saying he can’t see him. Was this man blind or something?
But every time Chuuya carefully observes the body language of Kunikida, from the furrowed eyebrows, tight lips, and the way he was careful not to scare Dazai off, probably just as worried he would jump again.
This man actually believes he cannot see him.
“Oi,” Chuuya says to get Dazai’s attention. “I think he’s actually serious about this.”
Dazai scoffs in disbelief. Whatever prank his friend was pulling, he was going to end this ridiculous game.
If Kunikida can’t see Chuuya clearly enough, then he’s going to have to bring the chibi closer.
The brunet reaches for the redhead’s wrist to properly introduce him to his friend but as soon as his hand touches Chuuya, his fingers tingle. Glancing back at the smaller, Chuuya was quickly disappearing right in front of him. Sparks of light as if eating away the redhead.
Piece by piece.
The two boys stare at each other one last time with nothing but concern and confusion written all over their faces.
“What the—”
“Dazai!”
With every passing second, the bright light takes the redhead away and vanishes from Dazai’s sight.
However, in Chuuya’s point of view, it's Dazai slowly vanishing in front of him.
Until both boys stare at nothing but a plain cliffside. As if the other wasn’t there in the first place.