Work Text:
“Excuse me, is this man bothering you?” Some foreigner guy stepped between them at the bar, interrupting their usual heated banter. Well, they were technically the foreigners here, Kojiro supposed. Which made the interruption feel all the more out of place.
Kojiro waved him off. “No, we’re just—”
“Always,” Kaoru said over him. “No matter what I say, this gorilla won’t leave me alone.”
The man bristled, puffing out his chest. “Sir, I think you really should leave—”
“What? No, he’s just saying that—” Kojiro began.
“See?” Kaoru said with dramatic exasperation. “He just can’t get it through his head.”
“No means no,” the man said with renewed confidence. “Please, don’t make a scene and just—”
“Kaoru!” Kojiro said plaintively. “Tell him!”
Kaoru shook his head slightly, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I really appreciate your help, coming to my rescue like this…but you see how persistent he is, and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt…”
“No worries,” the man said, hearts practically in his eyes as he placed his hand over Kaoru’s fingers. “It’s my honor to do this for someone as lovely as yourself.”
“Oh, come on,” Kojiro said. “Are you serious right now?”
“Sir, that’s enough. You’ve been rejected now please just take it like a man and leave before this gets any uglier.”
“You mean before he gets any uglier,” Kojiro snapped. Kaoru just stuck his tongue out at him, looking demure and dismayed by the time his “rescuer” turned back around.
“That is enough! I won’t stand for it! If you won’t leave gracefully then we will have to take this outside.”
Ohhh, Kojiro thought about it. Thought about how rewarding it would feel to pop this chump in the face and drop him in one. But none of this was even real; Kaoru was just fucking around and even if this guy was totally obnoxious, he didn’t really deserve to get a shot to the jaw. Kojiro had been in enough fights over the years that Kaoru had instigated, he really didn’t need to actually get into one over him.
And over a total misunderstanding (in a foreign country), no less.
“Fine,” Kojiro said with an annoyed shake of his head. “I’m outta here. Have a nice fucking evening, asshole,” he said, looking at Kaoru.
“Now you apologize right—”
“It’s fine,” Kaoru purred. “If spewing profanity is what it takes to be rid of him, then good riddance.”
“I-I’m really sorry you had to hear that,” the guy said.
“It was…upsetting, but I’ll live,” Kaoru assured him and Kojiro rolled his eyes. Oh dear, Kaoru who cursed like a sailor and had a mouth filthier than a truck stop toilet would “live” after a few choice curse words. “But please, let me buy you a drink for coming to my rescue.”
“I can’t let you do that,” the man said and Kojiro nearly snickered. Had Kaoru’s plan backfired?
“Oh?” Kaoru asked carefully and Kojiro happened to glance over his shoulder one last time, just in time to see Kaoru making bedroom eyes and since when the fuck could he do that? “What would you like for your reward then?”
“No reward needed,” savior-man said, sounding a bit strained (and Kojiro couldn’t blame him, with Kaoru looking at him like that). “Though, if I could, I would…may I buy you a drink?”
“Oh my,” Kaoru said, sultry enough that Kojiro felt it in his gut even though he was getting more pissed by the minute. “What a gentleman.”
Growling to himself, Kojiro left, finally out of earshot.
Fucking Kaoru.
Fucking Kaoru.
Kojiro groaned, looking at his phone for the umpteenth time. It was late. Late enough that now it was early. And Kaoru wasn’t back yet.
Hadn’t come back.
At first, Kojiro was pissed enough to let him go. He wanted to milk that douchebag for drinks all night and get sauced for free, so be it. It was none of Kojiro’s business. Maybe it was a little shitty for him to be all flirty and sexy and use that guy for free booze but what the fuck ever. That was Kaoru’s deal, not his.
Even though Kojiro didn’t know when the hell Kaoru learned how to be all flirty and sexy and was this something he’d done before or…?
Anyway. It didn’t matter, soon enough Mr. White Knight would find out what a liar and sneaky bastard Kaoru was and Kaoru would be laughing all the way (figuratively speaking) back to the hotel room he shared with Kojiro. It’s not like Kaoru was actually gonna sleep with the guy—
Was he?
No. That was preposterous. Kaoru didn’t do shit like that. Kojiro was pretty sure anyway.
From eleven p.m. to one-thirty a.m., Kojiro was pretty sure.
From 1:31 to 1:45 Kojiro tried convincing himself that any minute, Kaoru would be banging on the door, drunk as a skunk. Lost his card key. Had it backwards and couldn’t get it to work. Broke a strap on his sandal. Cracked his glasses. Hell, maybe he was actually right outside and ended up just falling asleep in the hallway. He’d done goofier things over the years—
Kojiro checked. He wasn’t there.
At 1:46 a.m. he started texting.
You: Hey. Not trying to interrupt your fun but if you’re staying out, you should say so
You: Not that I’m worried or anything.
You: Okay, fine, I’m a little worried
You: Where are you?
You: Are you okay?
You: Yknow if you were after a hookup you could’ve just SAID SO and we could’ve had separate rooms
You: Hell then I could’ve had some fun too
You: Maybe I still will
You: So fuck you maybe I won’t even be here when you get back
You: Or maybe I’ll bring her back here. If the room’s a rockin don’t bother knockin
You: Text me back, dickhead
You: Fuck just tell Carla to text me back
You: CARLA CAN YOU HEAR ME
You: Seriously I’m starting to worry
You: Did you get kidnapped?
You: Fall asleep on the sidewalk?
You: Just text me an ok or 👍 or something so I know you’re alright and I’ll quit bugging you
You: Fine
You: I’m gonna sleep now
You: Call if you need me to come get you
Kojiro did not sleep. Why wasn’t Kaoru answering? Where was Carla? Had her battery died? Had his phone gotten stolen?
You: Just tell me you’re ok
You: r u ok?
You: Kaoru
You: Please be okay
Was Kaoru really somewhere fucking that dickwad?
Was that something Kaoru actually…did?
Or what if…nah. Kaoru was tough. Not as tough as Kojiro, but tough. Tough enough to fight off rapists or human traffickers or blackmailers or…
Maybe he’d just do a quick lap or five around the hotel. Since he couldn’t sleep anyway.
He yanked open the door to find Kaoru on the other side, card key in his hand, surprised at not having to use it.
“Are you going somewhere?” Kaoru asked, obviously confused.
“Where the hell have you been!” Kojiro blurted, crushing him in a hug.
Kaoru hissed and Kojiro loosened his grip, holding him at arm’s length for inspection. His hair disheveled, his glasses were broken, as was his sandal strap, Kojiro noticed, since Kaoru held them in his hand and had walked back in his tabi. Dried blood smeared his forehead, crusted where it had dripped between his eyebrows before getting wiped away.
“What happened to you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Kaoru said with a wave of his hand, tossing his zori to the side. “Mr. Gentleman tried drugging my drink.”
Kojiro’s blood ran cold. He’d kill the sonofabitch. Maybe two or three times.
“What do you mean, tried?”
“Well,” Kaoru shrugged as if he didn’t look a total mess. “I’m here and not passed out underneath him, aren’t I?”
Kojiro clenched his jaw. “This isn’t funny, why would you even—”
“I know,” Kaoru sighed, sounding very tired. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny. But I am fine.”
“You don’t look it,” Kojiro grumbled.
“You should see the other guy,” Kaoru said with a smirk.
Kojiro blew an angry sigh through his nose, trying not to let Kaoru off the hook too easily. “Is that what happened to your head?”
“Huh?” Kaoru asked, touching his forehead and looking at the flakes of dried blood left on his fingertips. “Oh. Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone? Why didn’t you text me back?” Kojiro hollered, already getting a wet washcloth from the bathroom.
“My phone’s here,” Kaoru said, visibly confused like he couldn’t figure why in the world Kojiro would be beside himself with worry and texting him frantically. “I didn’t plan on being out that long so I figured anything important would route through Carla.”
“Okay, so where’s Carla?”
Kaoru held up his wrist and gave his bracelet a tap. Predictably, nothing happened, no lights, no “yes, master” no nothing.
“Needs charged,” Kaoru answered somewhat unnecessarily. “Any more questions, officer, or..?”
“This isn’t funny!” Kojiro snapped. “I was really fucking worried about you!”
Kaoru frowned. “You were?” he asked, slightly incredulous.
“Yes!” Kojiro yelled. “Why are you so surprised by that?”
For a moment, Kaoru didn’t answer, obviously thinking as he gnawed on his bottom lip. Kojiro carefully brushed Kaoru’s hair out of his face and started sponging at Kaoru’s forehead, trying to get it cleaned up enough to assess the real damage.
“Head wounds always look worse than they are,” Kaoru offered, maybe as some sort of attempt at diffusing the situation.
“That’s where I was going when you finally showed up, you know,” Kojiro said, still simmering. “To look for you.”
“Well I’m here,” Kaoru said, starting to sulk. “Seriously, you’re making a way bigger deal out of this. I can take care of myself—”
“I know you can! You can until you can’t!”
Kaoru blinked back, eyebrows pinched. “What does that even mean?”
“You’re mostly fine this time—”
“I am all fine this time.”
“—but what if he had drugged your drink? What if you get tangled up with more people than you can fight off by yourself? What if someone is after you and they’re serious? I thought you were just goofing off and you’d get that guy to buy you a couple drinks and then you’d be here. Then when you didn’t show up I didn’t know if you were getting laid or getting murdered.”
“Well that’s a bit hypocritical.”
“What do you mean?”
Kaoru huffed an incredulous laugh. “Do you know how many times you’ve left for the night and I don’t know if you’re ever coming back? How many times I’ve just about said, ‘Watch out, Kojiro, she looks like the type to steal your kidneys and leave you in a bathtub of ice’?”
“What?!”
“But have I ever said that? Nooo.”
“Thankfully not.”
“Because you’re a grown ass man and you wouldn’t listen to me anyway. And, knowing you, you’d risk your kidneys if it meant getting your dick wet.”
“That’s not even—” Kojiro stammered. How had this gotten so far off course? “But I always come back!”
“And so. did. I.”
“It’s not…” Kojiro fumbled. “It’s not the same.” As soon as it left his mouth he knew he was in trouble.
“Oh it’s not? Why? Because you’re a gorilla you think girls can’t kill you or take advantage of you? Because guys are hitting on me I’m in bigger danger?”
“Kaoru, that’s not…”
“That’s exactly what it is. But let me tell you, if our positions had been switched and you’d been out with a girl tonight, you would’ve already been so far gone thinking with your Donkey Kong Junior that she could’ve drugged you easy. Your only saving grace is unless she used actual horse tranquilizer, it probably wouldn’t have knocked you out. And god only knows what she’d do with you then. Have to wheelbarrow you out of there or something. Lot of work to steal your kidneys or sell you to the circus or whatever.”
Kojiro didn’t know whether to still be angry or burst out laughing. He wanted to be angry, he wanted Kaoru to understand, but…
“Did you just call my dick my Donkey Kong Junior?”
“I was on a roll,” Kaoru scoffed, trying not to smile.
“Hey, is that…is that something you, uh, do? Often?”
“Call your dick Donkey Kong Junior or be on a roll? Yes to the latter, and no, that’s a first to the former.”
“No, I mean—” Kojiro shook his head, trying to get over trying to remember which was latter and which was former. “Pick up guys.”
“Oh.” Kaoru’s lips twitched in a brief frown. “No, not really.”
“No not really or no not ever?”
“Not…ever, really?”
That answer wasn’t really what Kojiro wanted to hear. “I didn’t even know you could do that,” Kojiro admitted. “It surprised me.”
“You looked it,” Kaoru said with a nod. “And…I didn’t actually know I could. I just kind of wanted to see.”
“How the hell did you learn to flirt?” Kojiro blurted.
Kaoru stared back at him, puzzled. “How do you think?” He smiled uncertainly. “From watching you.”
“You didn’t learn those bedroom eyes from me.”
“Bedroom eyes?”
“Nevermind.” Kojiro finished with the washcloth. “It’s late. We should…sleep.”
“Yeah…” Kaoru agreed, hesitating. “I need to shower first.”
“You aren’t hiding anything from me, are you?” Did he have more injuries hidden under that kimono?
“No, dad.” Kaoru stood and it was all Kojiro could do to keep from hugging him around his middle and never let him go. “I just feel kinda gross.”
“Okay,” Kojiro conceded; not like he had a choice. “Don’t fall asleep in there.”
“I won’t!” Kaoru snapped indignantly, shutting the bathroom door behind him.
Kojiro listened to the sound of the shower, thoughts going in circles. He was exhausted yet simultaneously amped on adrenaline. First from worry, then from anger. Both at the fuckhead that had dared try to fuck with Kaoru and then at Kaoru himself for blowing it off like just because nothing came of it, it didn’t matter.
Kaoru hadn’t said anything but Kojiro had noticed his knuckles were swollen. And Kojiro knew from experience that Kaoru gave as good as he got. Hell, the broken sandal was more likely from kicking than running.
But still.
Kojiro heard the bathroom door open and he turned on the lamp so Kaoru wouldn’t bang his shin or something trying to find his bed in the dark. Like he needed more bruises and injuries at this point.
“I thought you’d be asleep.”
“I’m not,” Kojiro said, stating the obvious. He patted the spot on his bed next to him. “Come here.”
“Are you serious?” Kaoru asked with a raised eyebrow, already half underneath the covers.
“Unless it’s too…” Would Kaoru be too traumatized or uncomfortable sharing a bed with him?
“It’s fine,” Kaoru sighed. “It’s fine, I’m fine, it’s fine.”
Kojiro wrapped his arms around him, careful not to squeeze too tightly in case Kaoru was hurt elsewhere he conveniently didn’t tell Kojiro about, inhaling that shower-fresh smell.
“I need you to snuggle with me.”
“Don’t use the word snuggle or I’m leaving,” Kaoru said, burrowing into Kojiro’s chest.
“I would have to kill him. You know that, right?”
Kaoru snorted. “Get in line, buddy.”
You don’t get it, Kojiro wanted to say.
“But—”
“No buts,” Kojiro grumbled.
“But. I can assure you that with the kick he got, he’ll hurt just thinking about doing anything like that again.”
Kojiro flinched. He doubted that was the slightest exaggeration; Kaoru’s legs were beautiful but crazy strong. Not as strong as his, but strong enough.
“Do you even remember how many of your girlfriends—and I’m using that term very generously—I met when I visited you in Italy?”
“That’s not fair, that was my heyday—”
“You’re still like that. Maybe not in sheer quantity, but you do it constantly.”
“Does it bother you?” Kojiro asked, surprised. And maybe a little…hopeful?
Kaoru sighed. “It gets old. But I doubt you can help yourself at this point. It’s so ingrained into your personality I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t even know you do it. Don’t even get me started on how you talk to Carla these days. Hell, you even forget and act all flirtatious with me sometimes.”
Leave it to Kaoru to notice but not actually notice.
“Kaoru.” Kojiro reached over, combing his fingers through Kaoru’s hair even though it just fell right back over his face. “I was really, really worried about you.”
“I can tell,” Kaoru said wryly. Kojiro just growled back at him, eliciting a little huff of a laugh. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”
Kaoru sat at the bar, still barely into his first drink. For a moment he’d wondered if Kojiro was going to physically keep him from going but apparently he’d come to his senses and thought better of it at the last moment, promising to join him after he got out of the shower.
Whether he was invited or not.
It wasn’t like Kaoru didn’t want him to come. It wasn’t even like he had been that upset during their squabble, definitely more bark than bite, the night before. He’d just gotten a little carried away and thought maybe it served Kojiro right for once, to have his obnoxious flirty bullshit behavior thrown back in his face. It’s not like Kaoru thought it would actually work.
And he didn’t mind Kojiro joining him this evening; honestly, it wasn’t fun without him anyway. But after being borderline smothered all night, he needed a few minutes to himself to think.
About the text messages he finally checked.
About the kisses to his (barely injured!) forehead all night while Kojiro thought he was asleep.
So he definitely needed a few minutes alone to sort himself out, to figure out what all that meant…and what—if anything—he should do about it.
Which was why this guy next to him trying to pick him up was increasingly more and more annoying.
He’d tried to blow him off relatively politely (his hand was still a little sore and it was probably bad manners to punch people simply for hitting on you. Probably.) but these foreigners just really didn’t take the hint. And even if he hadn’t had that unsavory experience the night prior, he had no desire to pretend to be interested.
“I’m waiting for someone,” Kaoru said, losing what little patience he had left.
“You said that, but what jerk would keep a stunner like you waiting?” Mr. Mob Character wheedled. “C’mon. Just let me buy you a drink.”
“Listen—”
“Excuse me, gorgeous,” a very familiar voice said from behind Kaoru, though a bit lower than usual. Also a bit lower than usual was the hand sliding across Kaoru’s low back, fitting perfectly against his hip.
(Kaoru always had a suspicion that it would.)
“Is this guy bothering you?” Kojiro asked.
Kaoru bit his lip, trying not to laugh as he turned his head just slightly, trying out those…bedroom eyes? Was that what Kojiro called them?
“No, actually, I was just leaving.”
Confusion flashed across Kojiro’s face after a second of naked surprise. Very interested surprise.
And then, purring to make the double entendre painfully clear, “Would you like to come with me?”
“Maybe two or three times,” Kojiro quipped, using his hand around Kaoru’s waist to steer them toward the exit as Kaoru laughed.
The arm stayed slung around his hips as they made their way back to the room, Kojiro uncharacteristically quiet and stealing furtive glances.
“You…this…” Kojiro fumbled as they stepped into their hotel room, the door closing soundly behind him.
“Mm,” Kaoru agreed, teasing smile on his lips.
“You don’t mean this, right? This was just to get me out of there without making a scene?”
“Well, that was part of it,” Kaoru conceded, Kojiro’s heartbeat hammering under his palm as Kaoru slid a hand over his chest. “And I also thought this might be easier than darting you with buffalo tranquilizer and hauling you back to the room in a wheelbarrow.”
Kojiro’s tongue swiped quickly over his bottom lip, and endearingly obvious tell. “To, uh. Sell my kidneys or have your way with me?”
Kaoru pretended to think, canting his head to the side and pursing his lips a little. “Yes?”
Kojiro burst out laughing. “Well…okay. I’m game. As long as we do the sexy stuff first.”
“Maybe two or three times,” Kaoru said with a smirk, pulling Kojiro into a kiss.
