Chapter Text
Name: Edward Kaspbrak
Age: 14
Height: 157.6 cm.
Weight: 104.3 lbs
Sex: N/A (Male)
I looked over the paper. I reread it over and over again. I don't know if I would find something different if I kept scanning the page, but it never hurt to try. It never hurts. It never hurt. It didn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.
It won't until it does.
I'm sure I'm not the same person I was years ago. I was better then. I was taller, prettier, and more appreciated then. Now I'm a stranger. Not even that. People can still care for strangers. I'm invisible.
Days are now painful. Doc said they will for a while until Madam is present. I don't know how I look right now, but I know it can't be considered well.
I miss my friends. I miss myself. All of it. My past self.
I do not know how long it will take before people will notice.
There is a knock on my door and Madam enters, closing it softly behind her. I look up. She doesn't smile when she greets me, so I assume it's serious.
"Are you ready?" she asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.
I nod.
She looks at the paper once more, then turns away and starts talking about some nonsense about nothing in particular, because there is nothing to talk about.
She keeps talking like that, without pause. It's all empty words, nothing left to say. I know what I am going through, yes. Yes, I'm completely alone. Yes, I'm aware of where I am. Yes, I know your plan.
I listen and occasionally interject with my hands something as appropriate, but nothing happens. Nothing changes.
We sit in silence for a while longer. Madam is waiting patiently for me to speak. I know I'm going to have to break the ice. It's just that I have no idea where to begin. No idea how much to tell her, and if she already knows. Maybe if I were older and less lost... No! Eddie, snap out of it! She knows I know. And now. Now I have to find a way to ignore her.
She's speaking incoherently. Her words have no meaning. She's trying to get me to analyze what she's saying so I forget about her. About everyone. But, alas, I can't. I'm not falling for this stupid trick! I fell for it years ago, but never again. I vow to never speak again.
Ever. Again.