Work Text:
It’s snowing for the first time since the last cold snap of the beginning of the year. It's weird but I'm kind of ecstatic. Those who know me are used to seeing my first snow ritual. They find it funny. At that moment, I stop moving, I just stand where I am ; maybe on the street, on the sidewalk. Then I close my eyes. When I open them again, I am a bit lost. I have forgotten what happened and I have no idea how much time has passed.
You are not laughing, though, as I meditate under the first snowflakes that swirl around us. Maybe you think I haven't seen you, Shige. You watch me without any embarrassment.
* * * * * *
You are beautiful. As usual, you closed your eyes, a smile almost appearing on those lips I can't help admiring. I’m afraid it’s not the first time I find myself unable to take my eyes off you. It's not the first time it's snowed since I like looking at you.
* * * * * *
This snow. It's the kind of heavy, almost hesitant snow that won't leave any trace in a few minutes. It disappears almost the second it hits the ground. That’s how I like it : it won’t be trampled and turned into slush. Its purity won’t be spoiled.
You are like the snow.
* * * * * *
When I look at you like this, it’s like my legs turn into stone and I can’t bring myself to take a step in your direction. You, on the other hand, look so light and vibrant and free, just like the snow.
I feel blessed to see this side of the perfect idol Masuda Takahisa.
* * * * * *
You're slowly getting closer. I can't see you, of course, but I just know it. You are really close. I can almost feel your breath on my face. So close.
* * * * * *
Why are we so far apart? Why can’t I reach you, when all it’d take is a few more steps... and some courage.
Yet I can see a snowflake on your lashes.
* * * * * *
Knowing you’re so close makes me shiver, or maybe it's the cold wind that's creeping through my veins. My face is so cold that my skin is burning when you put your lips on my lips and your hands under my ears.
* * * * * *
All I can do is shamefully enjoy this simple moment as stealthy as a snowflake melts when it touches the asphalt. I wish I could confess those confusing feelings I can’t quite control.
* * * * * *
The slight pressure of your mouth seems to vanish. I open my eyes. You are standing only a few feet away. I find your smile really cocky, given the circumstances.
You turn around.
This is it. It's over.
* * * * * *
The snow has stopped. There is nothing left of it, except surely a weird feeling of completeness.
The ground is gray. Soon, I hope it will be immaculate again. What could be more adorable than a white christmas?
* * * * * *
I grin and cry a little. I want to laugh but I just exhale sharply.
“You won't get away with it, Kato-san. It’ll snow again.”
You glance at me over your shoulder and I notice you’re still smiling.
“I'm counting on it.”
I stand here for a while. I look down eventually, only to find out that I’m wearing your scarf. Idiot.
I let out a sigh that directly turns into vapor.
It's been snowing.