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Eddie knew Chrissy had a difficult relationship with food.
She rarely ate everything on her plate.
She came up with beautifully phrased excuses for skipping meals.
It’s fasting, Eddie, it’s good for you.
I don’t like to eat before I run.
It’s too late to eat a big supper, I’ll just eat a bigger breakfast tomorrow.
And Eddie respected her, because of course he did, but the excuses were becoming more and more frequent and her issues were becoming more and more unavoidable.
Eddie didn’t want to push her. They’d only just survived death. She’d only just moved into their little trailer. Eddie didn’t want to push her into trying to fix things when she’d only just adjusted to her new life.
So Eddie didn’t say anything.
He made small changes, though. He tried to cook things that they could share. A plate of food shared between two people was less overwhelming than a big plate of food all to yourself. And it did make a difference, because when Eddie made them a plate of bagel bites and French fries, Chrissy actually ate quite a bit. So Eddie celebrated the small triumph and didn’t push things any further. He’d talk to Chrissy once she got more comfortable living with him and Wayne.
Wayne.
Even he noticed.
He’d brought up Chrissy’s eating habits once while she was out for her morning run.
“That girl ever stop?” Wayne had said, tired and worn after his night shift. He watched Chrissy make her fourth lap around the trailer park.
“She does about twelve laps most mornings,” Eddie said quietly.
“You could always join her.”
Both men glanced at each other before they chuckled. That was Wayne’s sense of humour; dry and sarcastic. Eddie loved him for it. Eddie loved his uncle for a lot of reason, more reasons than he could count, actually, but in that moment Eddie loved him for being observant. For caring without hovering. Eddie cleared his throat. He had about five minutes to talk this out with his uncle. Then Chrissy would come running in and cheerfully ask if there was any coffee left over. Which there always was. Wayne always made an extra cup. He’d been doing so since the second day Chrissy had stayed at the trailer.
“I don’t know how to tell her…” Eddie’s voice trailed off. He considered that there were so many ways his confession could be construed. He didn’t know how to tell Chrissy she deserved better. He didn’t know how to tell Chrissy he loved her. He didn’t know how to tell Chrissy that he would do anything in his power to get them out of Hawkins. He didn’t know how to tell her that she wasn’t looking after herself properly.
Eddie looked at his uncle and hoped he could sense what Eddie had meant.
“Talkin’ is usually the best place to start, boy,” Wayne said quietly while he sipped his coffee.
Eddie sighed. “Yeah, well, that’s exactly what I don’t know how to do right now.”
“This is about her runnin’ twelve times around the entire park every morning, right?”
“That and the fact that she hasn’t had breakfast in two days.”
“Does she eat lunch?” Wayne put his mug down and faced Eddie head on. Wayne’s furrowed brow made Eddie’s throat close painfully.
“I’m worried about her, Wayne. I really, really, care about her and—and—you think I wouldn’t try and force her to eat if I didn’t think it would crush her? I’m scared that if I push her too hard, that she’ll leave or bolt or—“
“Whoah, easy there, boy…” Wayne put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders to steady him. “I’m not blamin’ you. I know how much you care about that girl. I see the way you two look at each other. But I see what you’re seeing too…the girl hardly eats a plate of food a day.”
Eddie inhaled and exhaled slowly. Shakily. “I’m trying to help her. We eat a lot together and I…I let her pick out vegetables at the grocery store.”
“Good. You could use some of those too. Gonna get scurvy the way you eat.”
“You and me both, old man.”
Wayne shook his head and let out a weak chuckle. Once he felt Eddie’s breathing even out again, he spoke, voice soft and without demand. “You gotta talk to her, Eddie. In any relationship, talkin’ is the most important thing. And guess what? The harder conversations? Those are usually the ones that need to happen.”
Eddie swallowed thickly. “But I dunno what to say to her.”
“You tell her what you told me. You tell her you care about her and that you’re worried about her health and that you don’t want to force her to do anything. Lord knows, she’s been forced to do enough shit already.”
“I know,” Eddie muttered darkly. God, he could throttle Mrs. Cunningham.
“Baby steps,” Wayne offered his nephew a small smile. “A piece of fruit for breakfast. Vegetable dip for lunch. You ain’t askin’ her to eat pizza and chocolate cake right away.”
“Right.”
“It’s like I told ya with school. So you fail once. Second try you only failed a couple classes. This time you’re passin’ all of ‘em. Progress ain’t always fast.”
Eddie felt his throat close again. He was damn lucky to have his uncle Wayne.
“Thanks,” Eddie looked into his uncle’s tired eyes. “Thanks for havin’ my back. And Chrissy’s.”
“You know I do,” Wayne squeezed Eddie’s shoulder before dropping his hands again. He needed his coffee. “The girl’s the sun itself, ain’t she?”
“And then some,” Eddie smiled involuntarily. “She made me watch 9 to 5 last night, though.”
Wayne full out grinned into his coffee mug. “Girl’s got good taste too.”
“Herrington about lost his mind when I went to rent the movie.”
“S’good for him,” Wayne chuckled. “You kids need all the laughs you can get.”
Eddie rolled his eyes dramatically. “Fuckin’ Dolly Parton, man.”
“She’s a good lookin’ lady.”
“Okay, okay, thank you, I—“ Eddie stopped. He looked out the window. Something felt off.
“What?” Wayne followed Eddie’s gaze. “S’matter, boy?”
“Chrissy,” Eddie craned his head to see further around the park. “She shoulda been around again by now.”
“Maybe you missed her.”
“I didn’t.”
“Maybe—“
“I didn’t miss her,” Eddie said sharply. He didn’t mean to snap, it just happened. He knew he was overly protective of Chrissy. He knew they were dependant on each other. They all were. The other night Steve had called the trailer to ask if Eddie would drive around with him to look for Nancy, because she was late for their date. Nancy had been fine. She’d just lost track of time at the library where Eddie and Steve had found her not ten minutes after Steve had called the Munson trailer.
Wayne grabbed his denim jacket off the couch. “You take the left side, I’ll take the right.”
“Okay,” Eddie nodded frantically and bolted out the door without his jacket. He was frantic. He wasn’t breathing. At least not properly, like how Chrissy or Dustin or even Steve had worked through with him. No, Eddie was beyond help until he could find the only person who could help him.
Eddie was calling her name; broken, desperate, insistent. He could hear Wayne calling from the other side of the park. The longer it went on for, the shorter Eddie’s breaths became. Distantly, as he darted between trailers, he knew that he had to at least try and stay calm. Chrissy needed him.
In the desperate haze of Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, Eddie heard a different name.
“Eddie!”
A moment’s pause.
“Eddie! C’mere!”
Wayne’s voice broke through Eddie’s panic and suddenly Eddie was following Wayne’s voice. Wherever Wayne was, Chrissy was. Wayne had found Chrissy.
Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy.
Eddie didn’t know if he was calling her name out loud or simply thinking it.
Wayne’s head whipped in Eddie’s direction the second Eddie’s running became audible. He shifted out of the way, standing up so his nephew could take his place.
“Fuck!” Eddie collapsed by Chrissy’s side. His eyes were wild with fear as he took in Chrissy’s body sprawled out over the grass. Eddie put a shaking hand against her cheek. “What—what happened? Is she…is she…”
“She’s breathin’,” Wayne pinched the bridge of his nose. “She opened her eyes once while you were runnin’ to find me, but she passed out again.”
“God, fuck, Chrissy—“ Eddie felt her forehead. She wasn’t sick. No fever. “Talk to me, baby. You’re okay, right? You’re just a little tired, huh?”
“Eddie, the girl needs a doctor,” Wayne hovered close by. “You stay with her while I get my truck.”
“Okay…” Eddie’s focussed remained on Chrissy’s emotionless face. He registered his uncle running off again. He didn’t registered when he’d started crying. Big, fat, silent tears that just wouldn’t stop. “Fuck, Chrissy…” Eddie grasped her limp hand. “You’re gonna be okay, alright? We’re gonna get ya all fixed up no sweat, you’ll see. And I’ll be sitting right with you the entire time. Not gonna leave your side. I promise.”
Eddie didn’t know how long he kept talking.
Kept crying and holding Chrissy’s hand.
But when Wayne pulled his old beater truck around, he froze completely. The rumble and racket of the old truck had Chrissy stirring in Eddie’s arms.
“Chrissy?” Eddie tentatively brushed a piece of hair out of her face. “You’re okay. You’re okay, baby. S’just me.”
Chrissy closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again, her expression slightly more alert. Her voice was raspy and hardly above a whisper, but Eddie could still make out her words. “Eddie? M’sorry…”
Eddie sighed a deep sigh of relief. He shook his head in disbelief. (Of course Chrissy’s first instinct was to apologize.)
“No apologies, beautiful,” Eddie kissed her forehead. “You know what happened?”
Chrissy sat up a little with the help of Eddie. She seemed to consider her answer for a moment while looking around and getting her bearings. She then shrugged and said, quite simply, “I think I fainted.”
“Fainted?” Wayne took a few steps away from his truck. “That’s ain’t somethin’ to be trifled with, Chrissy.”
“Yeah, that’s not okay,” said Eddie. He wished her could take the concern out of his voice. He didn’t want Chrissy to feel bad about worrying him.
Chrissy shrugged again and blinked quickly. “It’s happened before. I’d just go to the nurses office and be fine. Just like I am now.”
Chrissy began to move, but it was Wayne who put a firm hand on her shoulder.
“You need to see a doctor, Chrissy. Nobody goes around faintin’ without there bein’ somethin’ amiss.”
“I’m fine,” Chrissy insisted. “Probably just stressed. Overtired from school work,” she yawned as if to emphasize her point. “I don’t need to see a doctor. I don’t want you spending—“
“Now stop right there,” Eddie looked directly into Chrissy’s weary eyes. He hated how she was trying to smile, but it wasn’t reaching her eyes. He hated that she felt the need to fake her happiness for them. “Your health doesn’t have a price tag, okay? I’ll look around for another job if need be.”
“And I can take a few extra shifts,” said Wayne.
Chrissy looked closed to tears. “The free clinic,” she whispered.
“Hmm?” Eddie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’ll go to the free clinic. But I’m not having you two spend your money on something so trivial.”
“Your health ain’t trivial,” Wayne said firmly. He held the truck door open for Eddie and Chrissy. Eddie was taken aback at how quickly Chrissy was recovering. She wasn’t quite walking on her own, but the colour had come back to her face and her eyes seemed less distant. Eddie wanted to believe that it had simply been a fainting spell and that there was nothing amiss.
Though, when Chrissy fell asleep against Eddie’s shoulder as Wayne drove to the clinic, Eddie knew it was something more. It was that thing Eddie didn’t know how to talk to her about.
Chrissy woke up again when the truck groaned in it’s effort to park.
“Here?” She blinked up at Eddie.
“Yeah,” he kissed her lips softly. “We’re here.”
Wayne opened the door for them again and helped Eddie take Chrissy inside the clinic. This time she was much less sure on her feet. The short nap had made her drowsy and a little dizzy.
Thankfully, at seven-fifteen in the morning, the free clinic was next to empty. It took all of five minutes for a young doctor to come out to greet them. He was soft spoken. Kindly.
The doctor waited for the four of them to settled themselves in their chairs, before he spoke. Eddie and Wayne had insisted on coming into the office with Chrissy.
“Alrighty…” the doctor looked over the file he had gotten from the office. “Christina Cunningham. You’re eighteen years old?”
“Yes sir.”
“And you’re a senior this year?”
“Yes sir. Graduating next month.”
“Wonderful. Congratulations!” The doctor exclaimed sincerely. “Do you have a favourite subject in school?”
Chrissy shifted in her chair. “I…well, I like English Literature and Art. And I'm in the school choir.”
“I was horrible at art,” the doctor smiled. “Everything I drew looked like a medieval painting.”
Chrissy giggled a little and the light sound seemed to make the air in the room a little less heavy.
“I’m sure you weren’t that bad,” she said.
The doctor shrugged. “You’re too kind,” he made a note on his paper. “Are you enjoying school?”
“It’s fine. I’m—”
“She’s really smart,” Eddie said quickly, instantly regretting his interjection.
The doctor chuckled. “I’m sure you are, Christina. And it looks like you’ve got a good support system here.”
Chrissy’s smile turned genuine. “I do.”
“We’re her family,” said Wayne firmly.
“Good, good,” the doctor made another note. “So, my file says here that you fainted? When did this happen?”
Chrissy opened and closed her mouth. For all of the doctor’s light small-talk efforts, she still felt incredibly anxious about the conversation she knew would come to pass.
“About half an hour ago,” Eddie replied for Chrissy while he reached out to hold her hand. “She was out running.”
“Running is good for you,” the doctor smiled encouragingly. “It’s very good cardio and great for you heart. Have you had any problems running before?”
Chrissy shook her head quickly. “No.”
“What about at school. Do you play any sports?”
“Just…I used to cheer.”
There was a heavy pause. The doctor waited for Chrissy to take a few deep breaths. “And did you have troubles practicing?”
Chrissy’s voice was so small, it was hardly audible. “Yeah.”
“Fainting?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay…” The doctor made a few more notes in his file. “I’m going to ask you to step onto that scale over there for me, okay?”
Chrissy’s hands shook as she let go of Eddie’s grip and pushed herself up off the chair. She weighed herself every afternoon at the gym and every time it was a disappointment. Eddie got up with her, a hand on the small of her back to steady her and support her.
“You’re doing great, Chris,” Eddie kissed her temple as she got up onto the scale.
The moment the scale tipped over the number she’d been at her old home, Chrissy pinched her eyes shut.
The doctor marked down her weight. “Five-foot-two and one hundred and five pounds. That’s—“
“I used to be ninety eight,” Chrissy interrupted the doctor with a hushed whisper.
The doctor’s eyes widened. “That’s considered underweight.”
“It was my best weight.”
“Okay…” The doctor sat down and gave Eddie and Chrissy a moment to settle into their chairs again. “Being below a hundred pounds at five-foot-two is considered underweight. That means you’re malnourished and lacking essential vitamins. Is your…” he cleared his throat. “Is your cycle regular?”
Chrissy flushed scarlet and shook her head subtly.
“Being underweight can lead to lead to fluctuations in your cycle or an elimination of it entirely…”
The doctor went on, as soft spoken and kindly as at the onset of their appointment, to describe what Chrissy was experiencing. Light headedness from a lack of blood sugar. Not eating enough carbs to fuel her body. Eddie stiffened every time the doctor mentioned words like underweight and malnourished. He felt responsible. Like he hadn’t tried enough. Chrissy mentioned skipping meals and when she began to sniffle, Eddie held her firmly in his arms.
She was small. She’d always been petite, but holding her in her running clothes, Eddie could feel how small she really was. It crushed him. He’d taken pride in the fact that Chrissy had been eating more than usual while staying at the trailer and it seemed like she was gaining a bit of weight. He never wanted to push her, though. He didn’t want to upset her.
“I have to ask this, Christina, and I apologize for prying,” the doctor set his papers down and looked directly at her. “Do you force yourself to expel food you’ve ingested?”
The question hung in mid air; heavy and unrelenting.
Eddie couldn’t breath.
Did Chrissy make herself throw up? Eddie had heard about the condition before. It was whispered around the school that some of the girls on the cheer team make themselves throw up and there had been a boy once, a jockey, who had been hospitalized a few years back, for the condition.
Chrissy’s response came shaky and hardly above a whisper. “Y—yes…” she swiped at her eyes as she felt Eddie’s hold tighten. Wayne simply nodded his head in understanding. He needed to keep a cool, calm, head. The doctor began to toss more words around. Bulimia, eating disorder, body dysmorphia. And then treatment, food log, calorie plan.
He rifled around in a drawer full of pamphlets. “Here,” he handed Wayne a booklet. “There’s more information. It’s not much, but it’s a start. The good thing is, there are treatments available and you can get the help you need, Christina. You’re not alone and if you go to some of these meetings…” the doctor handed Eddie a pamphlet. “You’ll meet more people like yourself. As for right now, I’d suggest keeping a food journal. Write in everything you eat so you make sure you don’t skip meals. And it doesn’t have to be a big meal. Start small. If you’re used to skipping breakfast, have some fruit and yogurt. I’m not asking you to go from nothing to pancakes in a week. Work yourself up to bigger meals and ideas. Right now, just get used to eating more frequently, even if it’s little bits.”
Chrissy nodded and bit her lip. “What about if I feel like…you know…”
The doctor put a hand on Chrissy’s shoulder. “I want you to get in touch with someone for me, okay?” He placed a small card on Chrissy’s thigh. “This is a good friend of mine. She’s a licensed therapist in Chicago working at a crisis centre. I’ll tell her to expect your call. She can do phone appointment too, if traveling is an issue. And if finances are a concern, I’m sure she’ll be willing to make an acceptation. Someone like Shelby can help you through your struggles in a way that I can’t.”
“Okay,” Chrissy gripped the card.
“One other thing, Christina…” the doctor smiled at her encouragingly. “You’ve got a great family here to support you. They’re going to make this a lot easier for you. You’re not going through this alone.”
“We’ll get through this,” Eddie kissed Chrissy’s temple. “You n’ me together, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
Chrissy let out a deep sigh and leaned into Eddie’s embrace. She appreciated his words. She loved the fact that he didn’t say fix or cure, just that they would get through it. She wasn’t a thing to be fixed or a disease to be cured. Chrissy loved that Eddie understood that.
“Thank you,” she looked up at him and kissed his slightly stubbly cheek.
The doctor leaned forward to shake Wayne’s hand. “You guys keep in touch and come back if you ever need anything, alright? We can even set up bi-weekly checkups if that’s something you’d like?”
Chrissy nodded. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”
“Great. You just call my office to set that up then, alright?”
“Will do, doc,” Eddie shook the doctor’s hand as they all stood up.
Just as they were existing the office, the doctor spoke again, impossibly softer.
“My name’s Alfred by the way. And Christina?”
Chrissy turned around with a small smile. “It’s Chrissy.”
“Chrissy,” Alfred smiled back. “You’re already doing a lot better. Your weight gain is a good thing.”
Chrissy felt she could breath a little easier. “Thank you, Alfred. Sorry to call on your so early.”
“Oh no worries,” Alfred chuckled lightly. “My boyfriend is always up early running. Just like you.”
“Your bo—oh!” Chrissy blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—“
“It’s alright, hun.”
Wayne fished around in his pocket for his car keys. “Your boyfriend is very lucky. You’re a kind young man,” he said.
Alfred’s ears turned red. “Trust me, Mr. Munson, I’m the lucky one.”
“That’s so beautiful…” Chrissy squeezed Eddie’s hand. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“You trusted me with something too, Chrissy,” Alfred waved at his next patient as the trio made their way to the front doors. “Take care, you guys. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” Eddie looked over his shoulder at Alfred. “Really. Thank you.”
The young doctor shifted uncomfortably under the praise. “Just doing my job. I’ll see y’all.”
Chrissy waved at the doctor. He smiled back at her and didn’t turn to his next patient until Chrissy was safely seated in the truck next to Eddie.
“You both okay back there?” Wayne asked the pair.
Eddie pressed a soft kiss to the top of Chrissy’s head. “We will be.”
“I’m okay,” Chrissy murmured.
Wayne was silent for a moment, letting all the new information settle. It was a lot to digest; the eating disorder, the treatment plan, the check ups, and the phone appointments. It was a lot of information, but none of it was a particular shock to Eddie. It pained him that he’d suspected Chrissy had struggled with these issues in front of his very eyes, but he hadn’t done anything about it. Sure, he’d helped her eat and made sure she didn’t skip too many meals, but he felt like he hadn’t done enough.
As if sensing his inner dialogue, Chrissy gazed up at him.
“Don’t blame yourself,” she murmured and reached up to kiss Eddie’s lips. “You’ve been trying to help.”
Eddie swallowed thickly. “Not enough, though.”
“You gave me a safe place to stay. You listen to me and support me. You don’t push me to do things. You’ve done more than enough, Eddie.”
“I should have done more, though, I should have—“
“Christ,” Wayne interrupted his nephew with a light smack on the steering wheel. “You’re both so god damn young. You survived death. You’ve lived through more hellish experiences than any kid should ever have to. Don’t—for a damn second—blame yourselves for not knowing what to do all the time. I’m surprised you’re both getting up for school and functioning at all right now.”
Eddie felt Chrissy chuckle against his chest. He grinned, a small amused grin, and kissed the top of her head. “Sometimes the old man’s got some words of wisdom, huh?”
“Hey, watch who you’re calling old man,” said Wayne. “I’ve still got plenty of pep left in me.”
“Gonna go to bingo games now, Wayne?”
“Eddie…”
“Join water aquatics?”
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Oh! Maybe you’ll meet a nice retired lady at the community centre!”
Chrissy giggled and shushed Eddie. “Be nice, Eddie. I don’t think you’re old at all, Mr. Munson.”
“It’s Wayne, honey, and thank you,” Wayne smiled crookedly. “Nice to get some respect from someone in this family.”
Chrissy smiled. Truly smiled. And Eddie smiled back, because Chrissy was his family. They were a little family, small, but mighty. They’d overcome too much and they’d overcome much more, but they’d do it together. In a way, the doctor’s appointment wasn’t nearly as horrible as Chrissy had thought it would be. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had real hope. She could get help, learn to feel better about herself, and not have to go through the process alone. Chrissy felt light and unburdened. She felt like she belonged.
“Hey,” Eddie pecked Chrissy’s lips. “You doing okay?”
Chrissy smiled up at him. “I’m good. Are you?”
Eddie nodded and kissed her again. “I’m good.”