Work Text:
Tracey Hummel-Anderson was a lot like her biological parents. She's on the small side (Kurt was gonna throw something the next time Santana calls his child "Hobbit Jr.”), she has a head full of thick dark brown hair, she had an amazing set of lungs, she knows when to use the puppy dog eyes to her advantage, but would also put her hands on her hips and tell you exactly what she was going to do whether her Dads liked it or not. But she also picked up some habits from her Papa. She started picking out her clothes before she turned 2, she loved The Sound of Music, and she could glare with the best of them. She learned the patented "Kurt Hummel Glare" by the time she was 9 months old. So Blaine was hardly surprised that she turned the glare on at her second birthday party. Parties are overwhelming, and she was just a tiny baby (he refused to accept his little feta getting older. She's not a toddler, she's his baby). What did surprise Blaine was the phone call he got after the party.
He and Kurt are lifeless on the couch, exhausted, TV on, even though neither of them are really watching. The decorations from Tracey's party are still up, balloons everywhere. Blaine's starting to doze when his "Human Nature" by Madonna rings from his phone.
"What could Tina possibly need that can't wait till brunch tomorrow?" Kurt says, practically whining.
Blaine shrugs and answers the phone.
"Hey T, did you forget-"
"Tracey hates me!" Tina says, bursting into tears.
"What? Tracey who? Is this about Artie's PA?"
"Tracey your baby, that's who!"
"What? Tina how could... No way!"
Kurt looks over and mouths "What is happening?" to Blaine. Blaine just shakes his head.
"Tay Tay, she's two years old, she doesn't know what hate is."
"Well she clearly does not like me very much, I can't believe you haven't noticed."
"That's because there's nothing to notice! She's a baby!"
Kurt reaches for the phone, Blaine covers it with his hand and whispers to Kurt, "Tina thinks little Feta hates her."
Kurt rolls his eyes, "put it on speaker." Blaine obliges and puts the phone on the table.
"Tina, you're on speaker."
"Now tell me again how you think my child is hateful?" Kurt says in a sickening sweet voice that usually meant he was seconds away from losing his temper.
"She's not hateful, she just hates me. She won't say my name, she never comes to play with me, and I swear when I gave her my present, she gave me the bitchiest glare, like that look Kurt gets right before he snaps at waitstaff." Kurt glares at the phone.
"Okay Tina, you've lost it. Tracey is two years old, she doesn't have a bitch glare. You're just imagining things. Some kids are slow to warm up. She'll get more comfortable with you."
"No she won't. She fell in love with Puck and Quinn the second she met them. She sees me all the time! Watch, you'll see at brunch tomorrow. She hates me. "
"Tina you are overreacting and being ridiculous. The baby doesn't hate you," Kurt says shaking his head.
"Kurt's right, she probably just had gas pains."
"Blaine and I are exhausted and we are hanging up now. We will see you tomorrow with our beautiful child who doesn't hate anyone." Kurt presses the button to end the call and plops back on the couch and throws his arm over his eyes.
"What did we do to end up with such drama queens for friends?"
The next morning, Kurt and Blaine are running late to brunch because Tracey and Kurt spent 20 minutes arguing over her outfit.
"Kurt, I told you not to argue with her, the book said this is a time that she's going to challenge us and she wants independence."
"I refuse to be one of those parents whose kid wears a Halloween costume as clothes. She can wear a tiara, but no way is she walking around dressed as Princess Leia unless she is going door to door asking for candy." Kurt says with a glare. A very cranky Tracey pouts as Blaine puts her in the stroller and they head to the elevator.
When they arrive at the restaurant, heading towards their usual huge table, Tracey lights up as soon as she sees Sam and Mercedes.
“Sam! Sam! Sam!” Tracey calls excitedly from her stroller, she waves her arms at him as he approaches.
“There’s my favorite God Daughter!” Sam says as he pulls her from her stroller. He blows a raspberry onto her cheek and she laughs and claps.
“Donald Duck, Unca Sam, Donald Duck!”
“You want me to talk like Donald Duck?” He asks in a perfect impression. Tracey throws her head back and laughs as her Dads fold the stroller and take their places at the table. When Sam sits down, Mercedes reaches over and takes Tracey from Sam.
“How’s my baby! Did you have a fun birthday?”
Tracey nods, “I got toys.”
“Yes you did, probably too many if I let your Daddys tell it.”
Artie and Tina walk in, Artie rolling straight over to where Mercedes is holding Tracey, holding a glass of orange juice to Tracey’s mouth.
“There’s my favorite baby girl!” Artie says, he puts his hand up and Tracey gives him a “high five”.
Tina follows Artie to their seats, she smiles at Tracey who looks at her with a confused frown on her face.
“Hi Tracey!” Tina says. Tracey stares at Tina, same confused, look on her face. Blaine goes over and grabs Tracey from Mercedes, sitting down with her next to Tina and turning towards her.
“Say hi to Auntie Tay Tay!” Blaine says, kissing Tracey on the cheek. Tracey just shakes her head and turns back to Mercedes.
“Cedes!” Tracey whines, reaching out for Mercedes. Blaine looks at Kurt panicked as he can see both Tina and Tracey getting upset.
“What’s going on?” Sam asks looking between his upset goddaughter and Tina.
“She hates me!” Tina says, bursting into tears.
“No, Tina, no. NO CRYING!” Sam says. Tracey looks at Tina and starts whining.
“Give me my God Baby back, I have no idea what’s going on, but my baby is getting upset. Come here sweetie.” Mercedes says, taking Tracey from a clearly panicked Blaine.
“I told you she hates me! I told you! Why would she hate me?”
“Because she’s half Rachel,” Santana says as she and Brittany approach the table, “I don’t know what I just missed, but apparently baby Klainchel here is already making weaker beings cry. She’s a baby after my own heart.”
“Santana, stop,’ Kurt hisses at her. He turns to Tina, “She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t know you. You and Artie have been making your movie, and then you guys went on vacation, then you had your press junket and awards season, she’s seen you twice since she was born.”
“Kurt’s right! She’s just not sure who you are,” Blaine says, rubbing Tina’s back.
“And she knows Sam and Mercedes? They don’t live in New York, how often does she see them?”
“We skype with them once a week and she talks to Sam on the phone all the time, he reads her stories and does impressions of her favorite Disney characters,” Mercedes says.
“And Artie? She doesn’t hate Artie.”
“It’s because he looks like he’s in a stroller too,” Brittany says.
“Brittany’s right, I’m closer to her eye level, so I’m not as imposing and threatening.”
“Seriously, Tina you need to calm down. She’s a toddler, who cares what she likes, she probably eats off the floor, she has no taste. Now lets order, because I needs to get my waffle on.”
“I resent the implication that my child has no taste,” Kurt mumbles taking his seat.
Brunch mostly went smoothly, Rachel and Jesse finally arrived just as they were ordering. Tracey was running around between her Dads’ friends, the family she knows best, though she spent most of the meal in Jesse’s lap stealing his bacon. Tina got more and more tense as the meal went on, walking out as they were paying the check. When Blaine noticed her absence, he followed her outside.
“Look, I know what you’re gonna say, oh Tina’s never changed, still getting worked up and crying over something dumb. But you're my best friend in the whole world and your baby doesn’t know me. This is what I was afraid of when I couldn’t get into school in New York all those years ago. I’m here now, but I’m still just background. I’m not part of your family. Your kid doesn’t even know my name.”
“Aw, T, that’s not true. You’re as much family as anyone in there. You’re more. You’re the sister I never had. Tracey isn’t used to you yet, because the first two years of her life, you were off being an awesome movie star and living this amazing life with Artie. But she hears about you, just like she hears about Marley and Kitty and Unique and Puck and Jake and Quinn. She knows she has an Aunt Tina who loves her to death, but was super busy taking over the world with Uncle Artie. And maybe she doesn’t know you now, but when she has boy troubles, or doesn’t get a part she wants, or wants to put a green streak in her hair, who do you think I’m going to tell her to call?”
“I’m gonna buy her first bottle of Manic Panic.”
“Exactly. Every person in there is going to have a hand in how she turns out, some will be better influences than others, but you will be her Aunt Tina, and she’ll love you. You just have to give her a chance, she’s only 2 and she takes time to get used to people. She was terrified of Ryder until he taught her how to jump off things. It takes time. Now lets get back in there so Little Feta can start loving you as much as I do.” Blaine pulls Tina into a hug and kisses her hair as she wipes her teary face.
When they get back inside the restaurant, Rachel is carrying Tracey on her hip.
“Say hi to Tina!” Rachel says, smacking a loud kiss on Tracey’s chubby cheek.
“Hi Tina!” Tracey waves.
“Hi Tracey!” Tina says, reaching out to take her from Rachel. Tracey shakes her head, then hides her face in Rachel’s shoulder.
“Too soon, Tina,” Sam says shaking his head.