Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Raph had always liked things loud.

He loved when his brothers would sing at the top of their lungs. He felt happy when they ran around the lair.

He was a big fan of the way that New York was never quiet. No matter the time of night, he could hear someone, somewhere. Living their lives. Sometimes he would sit on a roof and just listen to that sound.

Raph was not loud. He made some noises. He could laugh. But he never could make his mouth form words.

He was okay with that, though. He didn’t mind it. He could still talk with his hands, and with his gestures. He could still communicate.

But he felt different. His brothers, they did their best to include him— especially quiet Donnie. And yet… they all seemed to get on better with each other than him.

Leo and Donnie got into all sorts of trouble(which Raph had to try desperately not to find funny, because it was his job to scold them—) Donnie and Mikey spent time creating next to each other— and Mikey and Leo had a great time cooking. Well, Mikey cooked while Leo cracked jokes, but they both seemed to enjoy themselves. Raph, though. He always felt like an afterthought.

They tried to include him as best they could, but Raph always felt awkward. He felt too much like a parent to them, fretting over their stunts, and urging them to play nicer. He often felt like he only really belonged when they went on missions.

There was one big exception to his loneliness, though, besides missions. April. When she came over, he felt his world light up. His big sister, she could fill any space with her energy and light. But she couldn’t be around all the time. She had a life, unlike him.

But Raph was okay. Really, he was. He was content to sit by and listen. He loved hearing his family live around him.

Yet lately, things had gotten quiet.

The Kraang were gone, but… it still felt like they had a vice grip on them. Because Leo still wasn’t awake yet. The face man. The leader. He was smart and cunning. He brought energy. He was loud. Now, he was still and silent. Raph sat next to his bed in the med-bay, absorbing the sounds of his mechanical heartbeat.

He’d been sitting here for what felt like a very long time. Every time Donnie buzzed around the room, Raph felt as if his own movements happened in slow-motion. He was worried his little brother was growing impatient with him.

But Donnie never told him so. In fact, he hardly said anything, save for talking to himself. He was here now, muttering and typing into his wrist tech.

Raph waved to catch his attention. His arm felt heavy.

“How’s he doing, Doc?” he signed.

“No progress in terms of waking up, but none in the way of him getting worse either. He’s… the same, basically.” He sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes, and his voice dipped. “I don’t understand it, he should’ve woken up by now. By any human metric he’s completely fine.”

“He’s stubborn, you know that. But I’m sure he’ll be up soon enough. This much sitting around will probably have driven him nuts.”

“You’re probably right.” Donnie’s face was static, but Raph could tell he wasn’t really relieved, so he put on his most reassuring smile.

“You gotta trust me on this, Dee. I know my brothers. Leo will be fine.”

Donnie returned his smile. His eyes looked tired.

“Thank you. I know you’re trying to reassure me, and that means a lot.”

“No problem, little bro. That’s what Raph’s good at!” He caught his hands before they said ‘good for,’ instead, and told himself it was just because he was tired.

As Donnie left the room, Raph let his arms fall beside him. He could feel them buzzing from the movement. He looked at Leo. Silent, he thought. He’s so… silent.

He wondered if that wasn’t why he was still asleep. He probably knew as soon as he woke up they’d swarm him. He’d be monitored and watched, and he wouldn’t get a second to himself. Maybe he needs the quiet. Raph hoped that was it.

Then, he wondered if Leo could hear them. What if he was listening right then? What if he could hear everyone but Raph?

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed how he’d been unconsciously rubbing his eye, or that Mikey had come into the room. Raph jumped when he tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, big man. What’s up?”

“Is your eye bothering you?” He looked at Raph with concern.

“No, it’s fine. I was just thinking.” He shrugged as he finished signing, hoping to convey nonchalance. Mikey was still boring into Raph’s eyes with his. It made him squirm.

Mikey broke the silence after what was probably just a few seconds.

“Do you want pizza? I was thinking of ordering some.” His voice was small.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Are you sure? We can get your favorite—“

“Mikey, I said I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” One thing Raph liked about signing, his tone was always ambiguous. He hoped his brother couldn’t tell he was getting annoyed. It wasn’t his fault, after all. He was just trying to help, and Raph knew that. Still, he felt his face get hot with anger. He wrung his hands together.

“Okay, no problem, Raphie. Let me know if you need anything, alright?”

“Okay.”

He turned in his chair.

He could still feel his brother staring at him, but Raph was done talking. He let his eyesight blur the details of the wall in front of him, and waited for Mikey to walk out of the room.

Eventually, he did.

The next few days passed similarly, and Raph stubbornly refused to leave Leo’s side.

“I have monitors and alarms hooked up,” Donnie said. “We’ll know if something changes.”

It didn’t matter. Every time he thought of not being there, Raph’s stomach turned. He had to make sure he was okay. He couldn’t leave him. Something in him said he was being selfish— just trying to make sure he was the first to be there when he woke up— but he couldn’t help it. He needed Leo to know he was there, and he couldn’t just tell him like the others could.

At some point, Mikey had started pinning drawings up on the wall. Small, brightly-colored figures in cool poses or doing tricks. There were a lot of them. Apparently he’d been working on this for a while.

When asked, he said,

“I wanna make sure when he wakes up he’s not just staring at blank space all the time.” But Raph had a feeling Leo wasn’t the only one he was doing it for.

“Raphael, I have something for you,” Donnie chirped in his punctuated tone. “It should help your eye stop bothering you.” He pointed, and Raph realized he had his hand up to his face. He had no idea how long he’d been rubbing his eye, but he could feel how it now stung, so he figured Donnie was right, and held a hand out for him to give the whatever-it-was to him.

What landed in his palm was a small plastic bottle. He looked it over with the eye that wasn’t currently blurry, and still couldn’t read the words.

“What is this? I’m not sure if I like all this medical stuff.”

Donnie rolled his eyes.

“It’s just an eye drop serum; don’t be so dramatic.” He closed Raph’s hand around the bottle. “Apply this twice a day, it should help stave off any ill effects.”

He set it on the table next to him.

“Thanks, Dee.”

“And don’t worry, I’ll check in and make sure you’re really using it, too.” Before Raph could protest, he added, “I know my brothers too, Raph.” Donnie turned toward the door, then stopped to look at Leo, shaking his head. “You two and your self-sabotage.”

As Donnie left, Raph found himself staring at Leo again.

Chapter Text

An explosion pulsed through the air, filling the black. The portal had closed around the alien ship, crushing it in its infinite pressure. In an instant, this world was alive in a way it hadn’t been for a very long time.

“You’ve been portal chopped.” Leo grinned, staring up at the space where his world once was. You lose.

The Kraang looked dumbfounded.

As the two were blown back with the debris of the ship, Leo hit the closest thing to ground this dimension had to offer. His head was pounding, and he found himself unable to move.

The Kraang turned to look at him. For a moment, he saw something close to despair on its face, but it quickly turned to cold rage.

“You’ve ruined everything!” It roared, its mechanical legs bouldering closer.

“And now, my wrath will be reserved for you alone.” Leo sat empty as it beat him. He could barely hear what it was saying. He wondered if it really mattered.

Its rageful fists pushed them through the floor, onto the structure below. Leo squeezed his eyes shut.

Then, he felt something. He opened his eyes to a picture he was surprised to still be holding. The picture Casey gave him.

He felt the weight of the lifetime he’d spent with his family— the weight of never seeing them again— and he didn’t force himself not to cry. He’d given them their life back. Their hope. He knew they’d be okay. He smiled, and the Kraang screamed at him. Its suit’s energy sent him flying again.

Leo was ready to die. He wasn’t certain that was possible here, but he was prepared just in case. He couldn’t fight the Kraang. He was one person, and he was already so

tired. He let his eyes drift across the infinite black, and waited for it to catch up with him.

But before it could, Leo saw the world glow orange. Or rather, his world. His brothers. They were reaching out to him.

“Took you guys long enough.”

He almost thought it was an illusion, but Raph used his powers to grab ahold of him. There was no way his mind or the Kraang could fake that.

He sat hugging his brothers for a long time.

••••••

Leo couldn’t remember falling asleep. Yet, here he awoke, alone and splayed out on the ground. His body wasn’t aching anymore, and his mind was empty of thoughts.

He stared emotionlessly as smoke pillared up from the ground around him, painting the sky a dull red. The air seemed like it should’ve been thick, but Leo had no trouble breathing it. He got up and looked around.

Something told him he was in New York. He wasn’t sure how he could possibly know that— it looked nothing like the world he’d grown up in— but he was certain he was right.

Something else told him he wasn’t safe here, so he found the nearest manhole cover and slipped down into it.

He traced one of his swords along the ground as he walked, the sound of scraping metal pushing the silence from his ears. As he made his way deeper, though, he became aware of how things had changed. This was not the place he remembered.

Trash and debris littered the floors. Some of the walls had gaping holes in them, leading down halls of pitch black. And in some spots, entire chunks of the streets above had been broken away, allowing Leo to catch another glimpse of the heavy cloud above.

There were at least a few red vines every turn he took down here, and in some places, it had pretty much taken over everything. It looked like no plant he’d ever seen before, but he could tell it was still growing. He didn’t really want to stick around to see what it could do, so he quickly moved on.

Even the sewer water seemed different. not noticeably at first— and he couldn’t even really tell why— but as he kept down the massive halls toward the old lair, a thought crept into his mind.

“Do people… still live in New York?” He stopped, asking aloud. He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. His voice echoed around the space.

Leo didn’t feel anything at this revaluation. No shock, no fear, no loneliness. He expected this. What? He felt taken aback by his own thoughts. Why would he ever expect New York to be empty? That doesn’t make any sense.

But again, something in him said it wasn’t safe to be stopping here, so he shook the thought from his mind and marched forward.

Chapter Text

Mikey knew Raph wasn’t taking this well. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually eaten, or even moved. It made him relentlessly anxious.

When he brought it up to Donnie one afternoon, he offered an idea.

“Remember those figure drawings I wanted you to practice to help strengthen your hands?”

“You mean exactly what I’m doing right now?” Mikey wasn’t surprised he didn’t notice. He was sat with his back to the workbench, tinkering with the turtle tank’s wheels. He twisted to look at Mikey.

“Oh. Well—“ he turned back to his work. “What if you gave some of them to Raph? He’s very attached to your other work.”

Mikey looked at the paper in front of him. It wasn’t a bad idea, but Raph was more than depressed. He was grieving, and Mikey wasn’t certain a few drawings could fix that. He frowned.

“See, this is the same as one of the other ones you gave him.” Donnie was up next to him now, reaching for the page. Mikey quickly grabbed it back from him, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it toward the trash.

“Then I can’t give him that one.”

Donnie followed it over and picked it up, pulling it from its ball shape and contemplating the work.

“Why not? It’s just like one he already likes.”

“Because it’s just like it, Donnie. It’s not original.” He sighed. “I haven’t drawn anything original in weeks.”

He stared at his hands. They were covered in veins of glowing lightning that pulsed with his heartbeat. Donnie re-crumbled the paper.

“I haven’t made anything new either, Mikey. That’s allowed, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’ve at least been improving things.” He gestured toward the turtle tank.

Since defeating the K— …since the battle, it’d been repaired and upgraded about ten times over. Whenever he wasn’t checking on Leo and Raph, he was in here working. At one point he had to physically force Donnie to stop and get some rest.

“So have you.” Donnie took Mikey’s hands in his own. He expected him to say something about his rehabilitation, but instead he led him out of the room.

They stopped at a wall near the entrance to the lair, which Mikey had taken the liberty of covering with bright colors. They had no rhyme or reason, and the lines were uneven and shaky. Mikey could see the frustration in every stroke.

“These aren’t—“

“Shush.” Donnie turned to face him, his tone serious. “Michael, we don’t know if Leo is going to wake up.”

“I— what?”

“We don’t know if Leo will wake up. Raph hasn’t eaten in days. Dad’s exhausted. We’re all exhausted.” Mikey felt sick. He looked away from his brother. “Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

“No,” he admitted.

“Because…” he paused, seemingly bracing himself. “I’m scared. I’m supposed to know everything about how to heal people, and I don’t. I can’t heal any of this.” Mikey stared at him. How hadn’t he noticed it sooner? He was supposed to be good at emotions, but he was so caught up in his own head. His own worries seemed small now.

“Dee, you don’t have to do everything.”

“Neither do you, that’s the point. The things you do to help don’t have to make everything better, they just have to give a little relief.” he gripped his hands. “And they do, Mikey. They give me relief.” He looked up at the wall, his voice small and thick. “Every time it all becomes too much, I come out here. That’s why I said you should give Raph your drawings. He hasn’t been out here to see this yet.”

Mikey felt his eyes water.

“Okay, I’ll put some on the wall for him.”

He did just that from then on. All of his favorite work was pinned up in the med bay with a brightly colored thumb tack. Pretty soon, the mass of white was overtaken by sprawling color.

And, if— no, when Leo woke up— he would be spending a lot of time looking at that wall too.

Still, it was concerning that Raph wasn’t eating. He tried getting his favorites, making novel dishes, anything. But Raph wasn’t burning fuel, so he wasn’t taking any in either. He was getting smaller.

Mikey buried his face and tried to think of something else. He didn’t want to ignore it, but right now he needed sleep.

He lasted about fifteen minutes before giving up.

Instead, he trudged to the kitchen, thinking maybe some tea would help. He put on the kettle, laid everything out, and sat at the table to wait. He propped his hand under his chin and stared into the darkness before a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, maybe Raph will drink something.” He felt so cunning as he set out a second cup. Tea has calories, calories are fuel, but it isn’t too much for his current appetite. Genius! He was moving faster now as he grabbed a bag of chai.

Once the tea was brewing, he carried it down to the med bay.

Raph was leaned over the side of Leo’s bed, asleep in his chair. The room was small, so Mikey had to side-step to get around the back of the chair. When he successfully navigated to the corner, he set the cup down on the table next to him, making sure he stayed quiet. He just stood there for a moment, watching the out-of-sync rise and fall of his brothers’ breathing. It calmed the anxious flurry in his chest.

“Donnie doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Raph. Leo is going to wake up,” he ran a hand down his brother’s shell as he spoke— and he was more certain than he’d been about anything for months.

Chapter Text

Raph sat bolt upright as he awoke, nausea rising with the movement. His entire body hurt, but his eye was the worst of all. It was throbbing in time with his heartbeat.

His half-blurred vision darted around the empty room before landing on the bed, where he watched for the rise and fall of Leo’s chest. He couldn’t hear the machines tracking his brother’s vitals beyond the pounding in his ears, which sped up rapidly as his focus waned a second later. He pressed one hand into his plastron in hopes of calming his heart, but it showed no sign of slowing anytime soon. His face and shoulders flushed with heat.

A charming cocktail of nausea and pain forced him to double over, his bad eye protesting as he tried to squeeze it shut.

As he sat curled around himself, he wished desperately for someone to come help him. Donnie? Mikey? Dad? Where are you? At the same time, he hated the idea of them seeing him like this.

He sobbed into himself for what felt like days, but must have only been a few minutes, because when he sat up again— more delicately this time— he felt as if no time had passed at all. His nausea hadn’t waned, but that was manageable, and with the throbbing having calmed down to a dull ache, he was able to focus his attention back onto Leo.

Thinking felt like wading through a thick bog, so instead he simply caught onto the sight of his brother’s breathing and didn’t let go.

He didn’t even notice the now-cold tea left sitting on the bedside table.

••••••

Raph awoke again to the sound of the door unlatching. He didn’t force himself upright this time— not that he was certain he’d be able to considering how heavy he felt right then— and instead just turned his head to face the door.

“Hey, how you feeling?” April pushed the door open just enough for her to get through. Mayhem, who had been propped on her shoulder, hopped down as soon as they were through the threshold. Raph didn’t respond to her, and instead just watched as she approached. His eye was still blurry, so he made a mental note to use Donnie’s eye drops. “Raph, are you okay? Mikey says you haven’t been eating.”

He forced his hand into a thumbs-up, and promptly let it drop as soon as he could tell she’d seen it. April frowned at him.

“Yeah, that’s not exactly convincing,” she said, walking up to him and grabbed his arm. She pulled, trying to get him to stand, but Raph didn’t budge. Even without the tired weight keeping him down, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand. His legs hadn’t supported his full weight in quite a bit.

“I’m fine, April. I’m not hungry anyway.”

“There is absolutely no way that’s true.”

“It is, though. I’ve got no appetite.”

“Well, we could always ask Donnie.”

“Ask Donnie what?” Donnie stopped in front of the door.

“Why Raph might not be feeling any hunger, even after days of not eating?” April’s voice grew smug. She knew she’d won their little debate. Raph huffed as Donnie entered the room.

“Well, a lot of the time once your body has gotten used to not receiving new fuel, instead of wasting time telling you you’re hungry it decides to divert that energy to keeping your brain healthy as long as possible.”

“See? My body’s used to it. Raph’s fine.” Of course, he wasn’t going to mention his little episode earlier, or the fact that he was still nauseous.

“But you are still hungry, and pretty soon your fat and muscle stores will run out, and your body will start to shut down. In layman’s terms, you’ll die.” His tone was even more curt than usual, his voice rising slowly as he continued. “Oh!” he chuckled bitterly. “And your eye will continue to get worse, because your immune system is inhibited. And if it gets infected— like it probably will if you don’t use those eye drops i gave you— you can kiss that sucker goodbye, ‘cause that’s not something that’s easy to come back from.”

“O-kay, we got it, Donnie. You’ve proven your point. Don’t you have something techie to work on?” April had crossed the room, directing the now-fuming Donnie’s gaze back to his wrist. It mostly worked, but he was still muttering to himself as he walked away.

“These people, I swear! Do they think I’m playing medic for fun? Do they think do this because I like hearing myself talk? Well, I do, but that’s not the point…”

“Well that was interesting.”

“Raph.” She gave him a look.

He looked at Leo, and for a moment, his nausea dulled. He hadn't woken up yet, why would he now? He'll be fine for a few minutes.

“Fine, I’m coming.” He pushed off the chair, and for about a millisecond, he felt fine. A second later, though, he was on the floor recovering his vision. April’s face spelled annoyance just slightly less than it did concern. “A little help?” He held up an arm.

“You're impossible, you know that?” She pulled him up.

Chapter Text

As Leo got closer to his old home, his heartbeat steadily quickened. The grip on his swords grew white-knuckled. He wasn’t sure what he expected to find, but when he stopped at the edge of the garage, he knew he’d found it.

Thick vines had crushed the concrete walls up and away from the threshold, so there was no hiding the damage done inside.

The garage was entirely overgrown, making it hard to move around in. There was a mass of red vines in the center of the room. It almost concealed the whole of the turtle tank held within it. Leo shuddered at the thought of being inside it when that happened.

Not just the garage, but the entire lair had been completely scalped, and everything useful had long since been taken or destroyed.

Many of their toys, games, and appliances were still here, but they’d been taken apart and pushed to the corners of their respective rooms. Their spots were taken by boxes which were now empty, and floor-bound mattresses; many more than Leo remembered owning. Many of these were stripped bare of any blankets or sheets that may have once been there, and any still-wearable coats, scarves, and pants were likewise absent. Splinter’s Do Not Touch cabinet was entirely collapsed under the weight of fallen concrete. It still held some items; presumably the ones they couldn’t get out quick enough.

Pictures from each of his brothers’ rooms were missing.

Leo found four thumb-tacks scattered on the floor in Mikey’s room.

Donnie had left his frame laying in the center of his desk, the only sense of time having passed being the dust that gathered.

Leo’s picture frame was on the floor, glass shattered. A corner of the paper was still caught on one of the shards.

As he approached Raph’s room, he noticed blood on the floor. Drops at first— tailing toward the way he’d come— but the drops turned to smears as he continued closer, before stopping at the center of the room in one massive, dried stain.

Leo— ever stoic and calm— felt incredibly nauseous right about then. He grabbed at the doorframe to steady himself.

Just as he’d begun lowering himself onto the floor, he heard something out in the lair. It was small, but in the silence, it stood out like— like blood on a bedroom floor. He gripped the handle of his sword.

He could do nothing but watch as the figure approached. It was taller than he was, and bulkier too. It had thick feet and spiked shoulders. Its breathing was low and unnervingly steady. Leo knew immediately who it was, but he couldn’t move to approach it. Something in the way it moved had him paralyzed.

“Raph?” Leo’s own voice sounded far away from him. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

The figure didn’t react to him speaking. It just continued forward, steps heavy and head hung low.

“Raph, what happened? Where are Donnie and Mikey?” he heard his own voice waver. The light of the sky above almost silhouetted the figure as it got closer to him. And the closer it got, the more it unsettled Leo. The way it stood slightly slumped, one of its legs lagging behind as it walked; the shapes and colors latched onto its skin like a parasite; the low rumble in its chest, which sounded like the warning of an angry animal. It wore his clothes— it had his body— but there was no way it could be Raph.

It was almost directly in front of him before he put it all together: The Kraang.

He didn’t have time to consider if he should’ve already known, because the figure had shot towards him, aiming for his neck. He dodged the attack, and it caught itself with vines that grew impossibly from its arms. It hissed as he drew his sword.

Leo was fast, but the figure was faster. He swiped at it, and it had already dodged. He dodged it, and it had already swung around for another hit. In only a moment, he was on the floor. The figure gripped his neck and chest under a tentacle, staring at him with fury in its eyes.

“You…” Hearing any voice coming from Raph’s body sounded unnatural, but it wasn’t helped by how warped— and familiar— it was. “You’ve… ruined… everything.” This time, the ground didn’t give way underneath him.

Instead, Leo heard the snap of ribs in his chest. He tried to scream, but he couldn’t get any air in. He could feel blood bubble into his lungs and up his throat, the pain quickly rising to meet it. His limbs went numb, the world around him growing blurred and dark. He looked back up at the Kraang’s red eye as it began to fade away.

Chapter Text

It was just after noon, and Donnie was already awake. He was never a morning person, but nowadays he just couldn’t force himself to stay asleep. And when he woke up, there was no going back. He fished his phone from underneath the trash on his bedside table.

He grumbled at the time, then spent a few minutes getting rid of his notifications.

Eventually, he made his way to the kitchen for coffee.

As early as it was, he hadn’t even bothered putting on his battle shell, which meant his carapace was exposed to the frigid lair air. It was the perpetual coldest part of his body, and that had only been exacerbated by the slow-healing spots where it had made contact with the Kraang ship. He shuddered at the memory, wishing he’d grabbed a blanket.

After a moment of distraction drinking his coffee and scrolling through his phone, he decided to take the opportunity to check up on his patients while they couldn’t protest.

Once the caffeine set in, he decided to try Mikey’s room first, only to find that he was already awake.

“How long have you been up?”

“All night?” he said, looking sheepish.

“Egads, Miguel. You did try to sleep, at least?”

“Yeah, of course! I just… couldn’t turn my mind off, I guess.”

“Ah, I know that feeling.” Donnie held a hand out to his brother. “Well, since you’re up, want to help me check on Raph and Dad?”

Mikey took Donnie’s hand, allowing himself to be pulled to a stand.

“Sure, Dee. What do you need me to do?”

••••••••

Around 4:30 pm, April had decided to stop by for a visit. She had her school bag on one shoulder, and Mayhem on the other.

“Hey, April,” Mikey said, glancing up from cooking breakfast. “No Casey?”

“Hey, Mikey. No, he’s got hockey club.” She set her bag on the table. “How’s the hands?”

“Pretty good. The shaking’s a lot less than it was.”

“Good! I’m glad Dee’s strength training is working for you.”

“Speaking of that, April,” Donnie cut in, “There’s someone else who could use a little ‘strength training.’”

“Oh, yeah?”

Donnie simply jerked his head toward the med bay as his reply. April sighed.

“He’s still not moving?”

“Nope. Not eating, either.”

“Well we’ll just have to change that, won’t we?” She marched to the med bay, and Donnie quickly got distracted by his tech.

Aside from one very heated interjection from him, April ended up doing most of the heavy lifting against Raph’s anti-movement policy. She successfully got him to the table for breakfast.

Donnie couldn’t help but stare at his eye. It was getting a lot worse. Actually, pretty much all of him looked awful.

It was probably partially because he hadn’t moved the past few days, but the gradual change hadn’t quite set in Donnie’s mind until now. His skin was pale; his eye, of course, red; and the way he hunched over himself made him look so small.

Raph didn’t look up from his plate, though Donnie was sure he was boring into his skull with his eyes.

“Leave him, man,” April said under her breath. “At least he’s eating.”

Donnie was just about to respond when his wrist tech started beeping at him. And before he could even tell what it was, Raph was up and rushing back to the med bay. He followed right behind him.

Raph made it in the door only a second before he did, but Donnie still didn’t see what happened.

When he entered the room, Raph was on the floor, head in hands, and surrounded by liquid and ceramic. There was blood falling through his fingers.

Leo was awake and pressed against the opposing corner, surrounded by erratic machines and the toppled bedside table. His breathing was quick and heavy.

“Leo? You alright, buddy?” Donnie began to approach, but the frozen turtle didn’t take his eyes off Raph.

Chapter Text

“Leo?” Donnie stood between his brothers, approaching Leo like he was a wild animal. April couldn’t blame him.

He looked a bit scary, like even a rabbit is scary when it’s scared of you. His breathing was uneven, and the way he pressed himself against the wall, he looked ready to pounce if anyone moved too fast. Except he wasn’t looking at just anyone. He was looking at Raph. Tired, wilting Raph.

April dared to turn her back on Leo, crouching in front of the snapping turtle.

If I can just get you out of here, she thought, slinging his arm over her shoulders, maybe he’ll calm down.

Raph winced as she lifted him. At the same time, she heard movement behind her.

“Think you could move a little slower, April?” Donnie said sarcastically.

“I’m doing my best, okay?” she hissed instead of raising her voice.

Mikey, who was stuck staring through the doorway, shuffled out of the way as she and Raph approached.

They were just about to round the corner when April heard a rasping voice.

“April? Red?”

Shit!

“Splints, heeeyyy. What’s… up?” April was able to calm herself enough to give him a once-over, surprised to find him in a state not dissimilar to Raph’s. Though, she thought, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Splinter approached the pair, reaching up to hold his son’s face. His hands shook with the effort.

Raph didn’t move. He was busy bleeding onto the floor.

After a moment of pause, Splinter turned to April, his tired eyes filled with a sense of responsibility.

“What does he need?”

“I was bringing him to his room. We need to dress that cut.”

“Not the med bay?”

“Well that’s currently, uh, occupied. Donnie’s dealing with it.”

She saw something like hope grace the rat’s features, but he re-centered quickly.

“Okay.” When they got to Raph’s room, they lowered him onto the floor, April propping his head on her lap.

She watched Splinter carefully apply disinfectant. His hands were steady as he could muster, but the tension in his frame was unmistakable. He ended up dropping the gauze.

“You okay, Splinter? Want me to take over?”

“No, I am alright. My hands are just… a little unsteady these days.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of that going around right now.” April leaned back onto her hands, looking at the unconscious Raph.

As Splinter worked— slow and careful— April’s mind began to wander.

The first thing that came to her was the memory of Leo’s voice.

“Casey, listen to me: When I get to the other side, you close that door.”

Then came the things she’d thought about saying to him when he woke up.

“You jackass,” was first. “What did you think, we weren’t gonna come looking for you? That we would just leave you there?”

Though, they were about to, weren’t they? If Mikey hadn’t opened that portal, none of them would’ve been able to do anything.

What a stupid choice, self-sacrificing like that! Come on, Leo. She wanted to bust him on the head. I know why you made it, though. I’d probably do the same thing if I was the one with teleportation powers.

She looked up at Splinter. I bet any one of us would have.

She ended up wondering how she hadn’t come around sooner— how she’d let herself be convinced that she couldn’t do any good here.

Splinter’s frame shook as he reached for the bandage.

Donnie clearly could’ve used the help. She sighed.

“April?”

“Hm?”

“Would you mind helping me wrap his head?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, hand it here.”

The pair worked in silence, handing the wrap back and forth as they went. April forced her focus onto the task at hand.

Once he was all patched up, April tapped Raph awake. He sat up and grabbed his head, groaning.

“What happened?” he signed, after a moment of adjustment.

“Leo threw something at you. A mug, I think. Hit you in the head.” As she spoke, she was his face grow excited, then panicked.

“Leo’s awake? How— Why—“ His hands were moving faster than April could make out.

“Slow down, my son.” Splinter put his hand on Raph’s arm. “Your brothers are helping him.”

Instead of soothing him, that information just made his frown grow deeper.

“Is he okay? Did something happen?”

“He’s fine, just a little out of it.”

Raph moved to stand, but April and Splinter grabbed an arm each, easing him back down onto the floor.

“We just need to give him some space right now, okay? …Plus, you might have a concussion.”

“No need to over-exert yourself, Raph. Let us just rest for now.”

Raph accepted his fate, huffing in amusement.

“Yeah, you guys look like you could use it.”

Chapter Text

Donnie moved inward to stand next to the hospital bed. He lifted one hand steadily toward Leo, who had progressed onto the floor. He was talking too low for Mikey to make out.

As Donnie’s hand got too close, Leo put his head between his legs, his breath coming out in heaving gasps.

Donnie pulled his arm back in.

“Mikey, you wanna say something… emotional? You know, to help him calm down?” He said, his back to the door that Mikey was still standing in.

Mikey wanted to respond. Or move. Or make any indication that he heard him. But no such response was happening. The only part of him moving were his hands, which pulsed under their bandages.

God, I should be doing something.

“Mikey?” Donnie craned his head over his shoulder.

Mikey just stood there with what he assumed was a stupid expression on his face. He couldn’t even look Donnie in the eye, instead watching Leo run his hands down the back of his neck in an effort to calm himself down.

He looked so small.

Something clicked in his mind— though he couldn’t tell you what exactly it was— and Mikey could feel his legs beginning to move. He crossed the room on autopilot, and as he got onto the floor next to him, Leo moved his head to watch him. Mikey could only look at the wet spots on his cheeks from where he’d been crying.

He forgot, in that moment, that his brothers often didn’t like being touched when they were anxious. All he knew was that he couldn’t talk his way into Leo feeling better. He pulled him into a desperate hug, squeezing his eyes shut.

He could feel the tension in his brother’s frame, but Leo didn’t pull away. Instead he stuffed his face into the crook of Mikey’s neck, clinging to his shell at the shoulders. Both of their breathing shook out of sync.

Mikey began tracing gentle lines on Leo’s shell, careful to avoid the bandages.

••••••••

At some point Leo had fallen asleep again. Mikey, unable to sleep himself, ended up prodding him every so often to make sure he would wake up again.

He and Donnie managed to get him back into the bed, but Leo became restless every time someone wasn’t there, so Mikey sat in Raph’s chair while Donnie cleaned up the broken ceramic. He put on piano music in the background.

After he finished sweeping up, he ended up reheating some breakfast at Mikey’s request.

“Eggs for you, compadre.” He set a plate on his lap.

“Thanks, Dee,” he signed. With the adrenaline wearing off, his body kept going back and forth between whether signing or speaking was easier.

“Aaand some for Leo when he wakes up.” Mikey frowned, setting the second plate on the bedside table.

“You’re sure he’ll wake up this time, right? He won’t… you know, fall asleep again?”

“I don’t think so. His sleep is a lot lighter than it was before. And if you keep waking him up like you have been he should be fine.”

“Good.”

After a few minutes of Donnie sort of vaguely flitting around the room and generally not knowing what to do with himself, Mikey suggested he go check on April and Raph.

“I got it here, Dee.”

“Are you sure? I-“

“Donnie, please go. You’re making me anxious.”

Donnie huffed.

“Fine. But page me if anything changes.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Truth be told, Mikey was anxious regardless of busy-bodies with not enough to do hanging around.

This scene was just a bit too familiar for his liking, only this time it was him instead of Raph at Leo’s side.

But still, he told himself it was different this time, forcing himself to try sleeping.

See? he said to himself, laying his head on the mattress with a yawn. I’m just taking a nap with my big brother.

It was a very short nap in the end, because he ended up dreaming about falling and woke up with a start.

When he looked around, he found out that everyone else had made their way back into the room, and were talking quietly amongst themselves.

Among them was Splinter, sitting on the floor next to Raph. Mikey hadn’t actually seen him since they got Leo situated the first time, so it was a shock to see him about now. But Mikey didn’t have the energy to wonder where he’d been hiding, so instead he turned his attention to Raph, asking about his head.

“I’m okay now,” he signed, “April and Dad got me patched up.” He ended with a thumbs up and a goofy smile, which made Mikey smile in return.