Chapter Text
“Are you going to propose yet? Even Nicky’s friends are getting married, I’m pretty sure at this point he’d approve” Morgan grabs another croissant. It wasn’t a new line of questioning, any time they’d gotten together in the last few years she’d bring it up at least once. Their meetings had gotten more frequent with time, Jodie taking human form and meeting her on earth at least once a month.
“Maybe he’ll even marry that Cassandra girl he knocked up.” she laughs. “We’re gonna be grandparents Jodie, we’re getting so old!”
“Do you ask him about proposals every time you see him too?” He laughs “I’ve thought about it…a lot actually…I was planning on it tonight. I asked Nicky last week.”
“Ohh! How are you going to do it?”
“I thought I’d take him to go see some of the ironic punishments he thought up in action? you know how proud he is of those…” he smiles.
“You guys are so weird… it’s cute.” She laughs “I think Glenn might be getting ideas, I saw a bag from a jewelry store in the trash. So maybe we’ll both be ringed up before our titles change”
Jodie smiles “I can’t imagine anyone calling you grandma”
“Their kid’s gonna call me ‘nana’ or something like that. I still have a few good years Jodie, I’m not ready to figure out how to knit”
“I don’t think that’s a requirement” he laughs “I could teach you? I’m not great but I’ve got the basics down…I made that scarf for Scam last year”
“Really, you’re gonna make my teeth hurt, you’re too sweet”
“You should be thinking about gifts shouldn’t you? You and Glenn are coming up on a five year anniversary soon”
“I know what to get him, he’s not subtle you know? A new drone came out last year he’s been drooling over.”
“Yeah that sounds exactly right” he laughs.
“Jodie, as your best friend, and ex wife-” she puts down her croissant and gives him a serious look
“Are you pulling rank on me?” He laughs
“I absolutely need to see the ring! show me!” She looks entirely too giddy “I need to see it!”
“You’ll see it tomorrow on his hand, we’re all playing human to go visit Nicky for dinner remember?”
“So confident! wait… which hand does it go on?”
Jodie pales a bit. “I hadn’t thought of that”
“Let him hold out the right hand to you, you’ll be fine…” she pats him on the shoulder. She checks her watch and wraps a few croissants in napkins shoving them in her purse. “The boys should be back soon”
Jodie settles the bill since it was his turn, people watching to see if he could figure out who Scam was in the crowd before he reveals himself. He never used the same human form twice unless they were meeting with Nicky and his girlfriend.
He spots a man at the end of the block who’s smile looks off. The smiles were usually key, Scam has trouble remembering how wide human mouths are supposed to be. Jodie smiles.
“Scam’s here… that guy down there in the Garfield sweater” Jodie just nods in his direction. The person looked human sure, but between the sweater, and the heart shaped sunglasses he was wearing and the white hair he stuck out like a sore thumb.
“What an icon” Morgan laughs softly
Scam walks over to the table, putting a hand on Jodie’s shoulder and leaning down to kiss his cheek “How was brunch~?”
“Great, it usually is” Jodie smiles.
“You’re looking as pretty as ever Morgan~” he steps around a chair to greet her, getting pulled into a hug.
“Aw thanks! You’re looking flashy as always~ tell your boyfriend to step up his fashion game, his shirt choices are awful he’s cramping your style”
Scam grins “oh I like it so much though~ I don’t feel bad at all when I tear them off~ absolutely guilt free!”
“Scam!” Jodie blushes and Morgan cracks up.
She catches sight of Glenn’s car and smiles “looks like my ride is here, Catch you boys tomorrow! Have an absolutely amazing night!” She heads a bit down the block to intercept him.
“Ohhh? Do we have plans tonight? That’s perfect~ I have big news for you~” He guides him into an alley and opens a portal back to hell.
“I thought we could go out…? You have big news? Did something happen?” Jodie steps through the portal, pulling Scam by the hand behind him, Their human forms disappearing.
“I’ll tell you later on our date~” he grins.
———
Jodie stares at himself in the mirror, fussing with his hair for the fourth time. He needed it to be perfect so when Scam remembers his proposal he doesn’t look like an idiot in the memory.
He’d done this once before… the second time around shouldn’t be this nerve wracking. But it was. Nothing was going as perfectly as he planned. The music , jazzy Christmas covers, had been too loud at first, making talking difficult. What’s worse is he knew Scam had only been humoring him when he’d said that dinner had tasted good, he’d cooked it himself and it was bland at best. Now out of time, he settles on combing his hair back like normal before heading out of the bathroom and back to the table. He’d had it placed at a good vantage point so Scam could watch the mayhem in the pits of punishment below them.
Dressed a little fancier than normal, it was a date after all, Scam grins up at him from across the table. “That one really pretentious musician, you know the one-“
“The one you have listening to bad karaoke covers of his songs?” Jodie sits back down, fiddling a bit with the ring box in his pocket.
“His misery is absolutely delicious~” Scam rests his elbows on the table, two hands folded under his chin the other two gesturing as he talks “I was thinking, the impatient folks, it might be nice to make them queue up as their punishment! Even better if every once in a while we have someone cut the line~”
Jodie smiles “well, you’re the artist…” Scam had been doing a wonderful job at suggesting punishments for minor offenders. More intense sinners were something Jodie liked to oversee punishments for himself, spending hours at his desk doling out what he felt was a just punishment for each of them but with Scam flourishing under his new title of “torture consultant” it took enough work off Jodie’s plate to make the job enjoyable again. Living with Scam was difficult at first, he had a chaotic method of keeping things that Jodie didn’t think he was ever going to get used to, but they made it work. Scam had more than one room to himself that he could keep however he liked, which to Jodie’s distress was Escher-esqe to say the least. He wasn’t sure how to even find where Scam kept his clothes, never mind a ring he could use to figure out his size. In the end he went with one that would change sizes when he changed forms, which he should have just done from the start.
“Sooooo~?” Scam leans forward, grinning at him “You only ever wear that tie on special occasions~”
Jodie takes a deep breath “we’ve been together for a long time now…”
“Nine years in six months and five days~” A blush of magenta starts creeping over Scams cheeks that Jodie finds absolutely adorable.
“I know, you keep such good track of our anniversaries” he smiles “You are a huge part of my life…I mean Nicky considers you part of the family…even if it took a while…” he stands up from the table.
Scam was starting to feel a bit flustered now. “He was a hard nut to crack, that boy of yours~ I think I’d do much better at taking care of a kid now though~”
“Scam…I love you so much…” he rounds the table, Scam turning in his chair to face him. “And I know that I want to spend every second of the rest of my life with you…” he gets down on one knee.
Every visible section of Scam’s skin has gone magenta, his heart beating so quickly he thinks he might actually faint. He bites his lip to keep from answering before Jodie finishes asking.
Jodie was so nervous at this point that he was starting to feel like he was having an out of body experience. “Scam Actually,…” he holds up the ring box and opens it, a bright green stone set on a swirling silver ring band sits inside. “Will you marry me?”
Scam feels dizzy. He’d given up hope of this happening years ago at Grant’s wedding when he’d brought marriage up to Jodie for a second time. To think that someone really wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him…never mind that it was the man he genuinely loved most in all the planes of existence… it was overwhelming. He wants Jodie to know how much he wants this, wants to tell him how welcomed and comfortable he already felt in Jodie’s life and how he’d dreamed of being counted as real family…there was so much he wanted to say, Never mind the bit of news he’d been hanging on to for more than a several months…
“….Scam?” Panic was starting to set in for Jodie, maybe Scam wasn’t ready for this after all?
Shit, right, he needed to actually say something. He’d gone from scared that he was going to jump the gun to taking too long to answer, so he’d have to make up for it in his enthusiasm. “Of course I want to marry you!~” He gets down off his chair so he can pull Jodie into a kiss, his grin only widening when Jodie slips the ring onto his finger “This is perfect~! I can’t wait, let’s get married before the end of this week~! Get monogrammed towels~ Have kids together~”
Jodie laughs “What’s the rush?” He gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “I think kids are probably a while a away Scam, I know you get excited about new things but-“
“Oh they’re really not that far off Jodie~ ” he laughs and pulls him close.
Jodie isn’t sure if he likes how Scam said that. His throat goes a bit dry “Scam… what exactly is your ‘big news’?”
“Well~ I don’t really want to steal your thunder so-“
“Scam.”
“Alright Alright~ well, you see, when a demon and a non-euclidean being love each other very much…. Sometimes the universe bends a bit~”
Jodie was glad he was on a knee because he was pretty sure if this was going where he thinks it’s going he’s going to pass out. “What do you mean?”
“Oh you know the usual way, so just imagine it not working like that at all~ more like a condensed group of feelings and matter gathering in one space?~ It’s honestly hard to explain, you’d have to have been there~”
“Been where Scam…” he thought he had been following what he was talking about but now he’s not sure.
“In the pocket dimension Jodie, please keep up~” Scam was fairly nervous himself, he wasn’t sure how to explain that a new non-euclidean being born from the both of them was currently forming in a pocket dimension where he’d used to keep his movie collection. “I knew right when it started, a few months back, I could feel it, you know like instinct~? It doesn’t just happen Jodie~ not with just anyone~ you really have to be completely in sync for this kind of thing~”
“What kind of thing? I don’t understand…”
“New life Jodie!~ It’s been in the storage room since I pulled it from inside my chest!” Scam kisses his cheek.
“Holy shit… you mean like a kid? Scam… we’re having a kid?!” Jodie feels faint but he’s honestly more excited then he thought he’d be minutes ago. “How…how long do we have?”
“If they’re quick about it like I was, about a week left~ But Mark was slower…so anywhere between a week and a month~” Scam grins and opens a portal to the pocket dimension. “Come see~”