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“What is that?” asked Satan
“It’s a jar,” observed Beel.
“I can see that,” said Satan testily, continuing to inspect the offending object.
“I think he’s actually trying to ask what it’s for,” clarified Belphie helpfully.
“Ohh, makes sense,” replied Beel, before turning to their older brother. “I don’t know what it’s for.”
Satan simply sighed.
“Oi oi oi! Get your hands off my jar,” said an indignant Mammon, grabbing for the jar.
Raising an eyebrow, Satan asked, “That’s your jar? Why does it have a label on it that says ‘Respect’?”
“Because,” said Mammon loftily, “None o’ you bastards show me any respect and it’s about time yer did. Next one to disrespect me is payin' a fine!”
Three brothers looked at Mammon and his jar, then at each other and then back at Mammon again.
“Okaaay,” said Belphie, backing away slowly.
In this he was interrupted by Levi, dashing into the room, Asmo close on his heels. “Mammon, you arsehole, you -”
They were destined never to discover what Levi was so upset about this time.
Thrusting the jar in front of his angry brother Mammon shook it, the handful of grimm in the bottom rattling. “Pay up! Hundred grimm for the disrespect, you got to pay up!”
“Wait, what?” asked Levi.
Grinning now, waiting for chaos, Satan explained, “He’s fining people who don’t respect him.”
Asmo laughed, “Good luck with that. What a stupid idea! That’s most of the Devildom who don’t resp- . . . oh!” he exclaimed as he suddenly realised, seeing the rising tide of golden greed reflected in his brother’s usually angelic blue eyes.
“I know,” grinned Mammon, wickedly. “I’m gonna make a fortune offa this.”
Hearing the noise, Lucifer headed to the Common Room. There was no telling what they’d be up to with a racket like that. As a laughing Levi explained the Disrespect Jar, Lucifer simply nodded.
“Fiscal payment is unusual, however demons in our position are right to demand respect. Even you, Mammon. Very enterprising.”
“You can’t be serious. This is a stupid idea,” said Satan.
“Pay up!! Hundred grimm an insult,” yelped Mammon.
“Indeed,” said Lucifer. “It is quite ridiculous. However . . “
And here Lucifer removed a thousand grimm note from his wallet, dropping it into the jar.
“One hundred grimm an insult is it? Excellent, that should be enough to cover me for the rest of the day.” Speechless Mammon just looked at his older brother.
Grinning maliciously Satan pulled out his own thousand grimm note and dropped it in the jar.
“And now you can’t complain about me trash-talking you for the rest of the day.”
“Steady on,” cried Mammon, as the others, laughing, dropped in their own notes “that ain’t how it’s supposed to work at all!”
Sometimes, reflected the demon, it just didn’t pay to be the Avatar of Greed.