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“Hey, Mais? Do you want any more of this juice?” Claire turned to look at Maisie and realized she was no longer at the kitchen table. Her bedroom was empty, but Claire heard muffled crying coming from her bathroom. She tentatively knocked on the door, “Maisie? Are you okay?”
“Go away!” Maisie let out a strangled sob, before adding, “Please!”
“Honey, I’m happy to give you your space, but I need to know that you’re okay. You’re not hurt or sick, are you?”
A quiet hiccup came from the other side of the door, and then she heard Maisie sniffle and whisper, “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Honey, what happened?”
“I don’t know.”
Claire was completely baffled; she put her forehead against the wooden door and sighed, “Sweetie, I want to help, can you let me in?”
The door cracked open an inch and Claire slowly pushed it open. Maisie flung herself at Claire, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist as a fresh wave of tears started. She held on to her, rubbing her back, for a moment before she finally asked, “Can you tell me what happened? What’s made you this upset?”
Maisie pressed her face into Claire, her whole body shaking. “I don’t know what’s wrong. There’s just … there’s blood and I don’t know what happened.”
Claire glanced around the bathroom, “Blood? Where?”
Maisie’s voice was barely even a whisper, “Down … there.”
A lightbulb went on in Claire’s head, she closed her eyes at the realization. “You got your period.”
“I … what? I did?”
Claire motioned for Maisie to sit down on the toilet seat lid; when Maisie should her head violently, Claire reached for a towel and draped it over the lid, “It’s okay.”
When Maisie sat down, Claire sat on the edge of the bathtub, reaching over to wipe tears off Maisie’s cheeks. “Deep breath. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“There’s not?”
“No. Everyone goes through this. Well, typically everyone with a uterus anyway. It’s totally normal, nothing is wrong, and I am so sorry.” She brushed tear-dampened strands of Maisie’s hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ear. “I’m an idiot for not thinking about this before. No one ever explained this to you, did they?”
Maisie shook her head again, “No. I’m sorry.”
“Oh honey, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I should have realized. We could have talked about this ages ago so you wouldn’t be feeling this way now.”
“I think I ruined some clothes.” Maisie pointed towards the bathtub and Claire peeked behind the shower curtain. A pile of wet clothing sat near the drain; it looked like Maisie tried to wash them, but Claire could see the mess.
“Don’t worry about it. That stuff can be cleaned or replaced. Let’s take care of you, first. When did you notice it?”
“When I woke up, my stomach hurt really bad and when I went to the bathroom, I saw the blood.” Maisie’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “I tried to clean it up and when it wouldn’t stop, I put toilet paper in my underwear and changed my pajamas before breakfast. But it still didn’t stop.”
Claire slid off the side of the tub and knelt on the floor in front of Maisie; she held her arms out and Maisie fell into them, crying again. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“I know you didn’t sweetie, I’m sorry. But you know what? I did the exact same thing when I was your age.”
“Really?”
“Really. I had an older sister though, so I sort of knew what was happening, I was just too embarrassed to tell anyone. I tried toilet paper, too. Here’s the thing, though; you don’t need to be embarrassed. It happens to all of us.” Claire pulled back to look Maisie in the eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn’t prepare you for this.”
Maisie’s tears were starting to slow down, and she frantically wiped her cheeks with her shirt sleeves.
“Listen, you wait here for a minute, I’m going to run up to my bathroom and see if I have something you can use for right now. Then we can talk about a few things. Sound good?”
Maisie nodded, so Claire hauled herself up from the bathroom floor and headed for the stairs.
Owen came through the front door at the same time, “Hey! Where’s Mais? I wanna show her something!” The bathroom door shut with a sharp click, and Owen looked from the door back to Claire. “Did I say something?”
Claire shook her head and placed her hand on Owen’s chest, “No, but I need you to make yourself scarce for a little while.”
“Everything okay?”
“It will be.” She leaned in and whispered, “I’ll explain later. Maisie and I need to have a girls-only chat. So, if you could stay out for a little while, I think that will help.”
“Ohhhkayyy.” Owen drew the word out, furrowing his brows in complete confusion.
Claire gave him a quick kiss on the lips, then spun him around and shoved him back towards the door. “I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come back.”
With Owen deposited back outside, Claire went up to her own bathroom and rummaged through the cabinet that served as a linen closet. She remembered being terrified of tampons when her sister showed them to her at that age and wasn’t about to spring that on Maisie right away. There had been two bulky maxi pads in the first aid kit when they purchased it; she’d saved them just in case, not even thinking that this would be the ‘in case’. She found them in the back of the cabinet with some other junk, then grabbed the bottle of Advil and the heating pad.
She grabbed more fresh clothes from Maisie’s bedroom and when she got back to the bathroom, she found Maisie in the same spot, a little weepy, but no longer sobbing. She shut the door behind her and put the supplies on the sink.
“I’ll have to run into town to get you some other options, but we can start with this.” She held up the pad, “Have you seen these before?”
Maisie nodded, “In the commercials where they pour blue liquid on them.”
Claire smiled, “Right. This actually goes in your underwear. No blue liquid involved.” She saw Maisie’s mouth twitch at the corner, they were getting somewhere.
Claire showed Maisie what to do with the pad, and then she left her alone to change and take care of things. While she waited, she went to the kitchen to fill a glass of water and took that, along with the heating pad, to Maisie’s bedroom.
Maisie emerged a few minutes later, looking significantly less terrified albeit uncomfortable, which Claire took as a step in the right direction.
“Let’s talk.”
Claire set her up with the heating pad for her cramps, gave her the Advil, and then they just talked. For an hour, Claire answered her questions and explained to her what was happening with her body. She didn’t feel qualified to be teaching anyone about puberty, but she figured, as a woman, she knew a few things. She even grabbed the laptop they used for Maisie’s schoolwork and searched for a few kid-friendly websites that Maisie could read if she wanted to see things for herself.
“How are you feeling right now?”
“Kind of gross. And like I’m wearing a diaper.” Maisie scrunched up her face, “This is uncomfortable.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t have anything else you could use, but I’ll run to the store and pick up a few things so you can figure out what works best for you.”
“Do I have to tell Owen about this?” Her cheeks turned red again.
Claire shook her head. “No. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Do you want me to tell him what’s going on? Or do you want to keep it just between us?”
“I guess it’s okay if he knows. I just don’t want to talk to him about it.”
“Okay. I’ll make sure he doesn’t bring it up.” Claire put her arm around Maisie and kissed the top of her head. “Think you’ll be okay here for a bit so I can go into town?”
Maisie nodded, “I might just lay here for a while.”
Claire found Owen outside, chopping more wood. “Oh, good. If you took much longer, I was going to run out of trees. Is she okay?”
She didn’t answer him right away, instead walking straight into him, wrapping her arms around his torso, and burying her face into the thick flannel jacket he wore. Owen put his ax down and just held her. After a few moments, Claire finally pulled away and looked up at Owen, “She started her period. First time.”
A look of understanding crossed his features, “Ohhh. The girl-talk. Got it. Jesus, she’s only twelve. Is that normal?”
“That’s normal. I was twelve, too. But I feel like such an asshole because I should have realized this was going to happen sooner or later and I should’ve talked to her about it. We already dealt with the whole training bra ordeal last year, I should have brought this up, I can’t believe I didn’t think about it. She was so embarrassed, thinking she’d done something wrong, or that something bad had happened to her.”
“To be fair, this is your first time raising a twelve-year-old. You’re not an asshole.”
Claire smiled, “Thanks.”
“So, what happens now?”
“Now, I’m going to go into town to get some supplies. And you are not, under any circumstances, allowed to mention any of this to her.”
“I can do that. Consider awkward conversations about puberty with my fake daughter crossed off my to-do list.”
She poked his chest, “I mean it. She’s embarrassed and she’s upset; she didn’t want to tell you about it herself, and she doesn’t want you to talk to her about it either.”
“Got it.” He fished the keys to the truck out of his pocket and handed them to Claire. “Do I need to do anything right now?”
“Nope. She is in her room, I set her up with the heating pad and some Advil. I won’t be gone long, just call me if you need me. And if she does come out of her room, pretend everything is normal.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss Owen’s lips. “Oh, and do not go into her bathroom.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He watched her head towards the truck. “And Claire?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a really amazing mom.”
Claire was gone for less than an hour; when she pulled up to the cabin, she saw Owen sitting on the porch steps with a beer bottle dangling from his hand. She grabbed a couple of bags from the backseat and made her way over to him, setting the bags down on the top step.
“Any developments?”
“Not a one. I went in to make a sandwich and grab a beer and I asked if she wanted to eat anything.” He held his hands up in mock defense, “But I didn’t open the door or anything; I just sort of hollered at her from the kitchen. She said no, and here I am.”
Claire laughed and then leaned down to kiss him. “And drinking alone. Give me a few and I’ll join you.” She started up the steps, but Owen tugged her back for another kiss.
“Hey, I don’t have to live outside now or anything, do I?”
Claire pretended to contemplate that for a second, “Remains to be seen.”
Owen shook his head and smiled; he took a long swig of his beer, “In that case, when you come back will you bring more beer?”
“Consider me your beer wench.”
“Now that’s a nice visual.”
She knocked softly on Maisie’s door before she inched it open, peeking inside. “Can I come in?” Maisie nodded and pulled herself into a sitting position. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.” She held up the heating pad, “This helps.”
“Good, I’m glad,” Claire told her. “I got you a bunch of other stuff, too.” She dumped out one of the bags and Maisie’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t worry, it’s just variations of the same thing. You can try different kinds to see what you like and what works best for you. Everyone is different.”
“Like experiments.”
“Exactly.”
Maisie eyed the other bag, “So what’s in that one?”
“I’m glad you asked. You know the salted caramel dark chocolate I hide from Owen? I always crave chocolate when I’m on my period. And salty snacks.” She dumped out the second bag and Maisie’s mouth dropped open.
She pawed through the small pile of chocolate, little bags of chips, and even sour candy. She held up a bag of Sour Patch Kids, “So what are these for?”
“In case you’re an outlier and you don’t want salty or sweet.”
Maisie got quiet again, staring at everything in front of her; she looked up to Claire, “Thank you.” She leaned over to wrap her arms around Claire’s waist.
“You’re welcome, sweetie. I know it feels crummy right now, but you’ll get the hang of it.”
“I don’t think Iris would have known all this stuff. And she never would have gotten me chocolate.”
“You gotta hide the chocolate from Owen or he’ll eat it.”
Maisie laughed, “Okay. I will.”
“Are you feeling better about things?”
“I think so.”
“Do you have any more questions for right now?”
“Um … which ones do you use?”
“I don’t use these. I use tampons, but those are a little more advanced. When you’re ready, we can talk about how those work, too.”
She nodded, “Okay, I guess I should try one of these out.” She picked up one of the packages and scrunched up her nose; sliding off the bed she headed for the door.
“Hey Mais, when you’re done, if you want, Owen and I will be out on the front porch if you want to come out. He won’t talk about this, I promise.”
Maisie gave her a shy smile. “Okay.”
Claire snagged two beers out of the fridge and popped the tops with a bottle opener. She took a long pull of one and then let out a heavy sigh before going back outside. She handed one of the beers to Owen and then settled onto the step below him, between his legs. She leaned back into him and held her bottle up to tap his.
“Doin’ okay there?”
She blew out a long breath, “I am not qualified to be a mother.”
“Bullshit. You’re too hard on yourself.”
“I realized today that I’m also going to have to talk to her about sex.”
“Oh. I definitely didn’t think about that. Better you than me, I’d say.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Wait, that’s still like … a long way off though, right? She’s a kid and she’s stuck out here in the middle of the mountains with us. I don’t think she’s going to be having sex anytime soon.”
“No, she won’t. But she’s in a few online classes now with other kids, and if I’ve learned anything about teenage boys these last few years, it’s that they really like to talk about their dicks and where they want to put them.”
Owen laughed, “That’s pretty accurate, actually.”
“I’d rather she hears actual facts first.”
“Are you telling me that teen boys who sneak and watch porn on their computers would not have factual information and realistic expectations about sex?” Owen feigned surprise. “Blasphemy.”
Claire snorted, “Exactly.”
“I can’t imagine your mom having the sex talk with you.”
“She didn’t. Karen did. And I think my mother was incredibly relieved.”
“And look, now you’re a pro.”
She smacked his leg right as the front door opened, and Maisie appeared, a can of Sprite in one hand, and a sandwich in the other. She’d put on what Claire called her comfort hoodie; it was technically Owen’s and fell past her knees, but she hijacked it from their room last time he was gone for a week and Owen didn’t ask for it back.
“Hey, kiddo.” Owen patted the space next to him and Maisie sat down, pulling her knees up into the hoodie. “What’s on the sandwich?”
“Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff.” It was a combination she’d scoffed at the first time Owen offered it to her. Her grandfather and Iris would never have allowed such a thing, if they’d even known what marshmallow fluff was. It was new to her, too. It was one of the first things Owen made her for lunch when it was just the two of them, and she was hooked. She held the sandwich up, close to Owen’s face, and he leaned over and took a bite.
“Damn, that’s good. Speaking of sandwiches, what should we do for dinner?”
Claire twisted sideways so she could see them both, “We have all the stuff to make pizzas. How’s that sound?”
Maisie nodded, “That sounds good.” Owen reached over and wiped some peanut butter off her cheek with his thumb and she grinned at him.
“Hey, kiddo, why don’t you go in and pick a movie we can watch tonight, too.”
Her eyes lit up, “Yeah? Okay!”
When she was back inside the house, Claire stood up and turned around to face Owen. “Pizza. Kid movie. Kid cuddles. Kid bedtime. And then …”
Owen pulled her down to kiss her; she smiled against his lips. “And then.”