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What Am I Supposed to Believe

Summary:

The pain caused by unrequited love can be unbearable. But what if there is hope?

Notes:

This fic takes place during episode 10, shortly before the end of it, so it contains spoilers. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EPISODE 10 YET, DON'T READ IT!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

If anyone had asked Suletta how she knew she was in love, she would have answered without hesitation.

I know it's love because it hurts.

In just a few minutes, her heart had gone from being warm and soft as a feather to being pierced by a thousand needles. What was worse was that the torment seemed to extend backwards in time, altering the memories Suletta had and turning them into warnings that the Mercurian girl had not known or had not wanted to see.

In the darkness of the greenhouse, with tears running down her cheeks, Suletta could do nothing but curse her own foolishness.

The fault is yours alone, Suletta Mercury, she silently berated herself. You've been an idiot. You've deluded yourself. You've seen things where there were none. You're just a Mercury bumpkin who grew up reading manga and watching anime. How could you have had the audacity to believe that you could interest someone like Miorine-san? She is a bright, intelligent, brave, bold girl. She deserves someone that matches her.

And yet, Suletta remembered the incubation party, Miorine's determined expression telling her that she would protect her and proudly proclaiming that she was Suletta's bride. At that moment, she had begun to realize that what she felt for Miorine was much more than a good friendship.

And now, after the chilling encounter with Elan, Suletta was completely sure.

I love Miorine. I'm madly in love with her. Every time I utter her name, every time I think of her, my heart races. I even slipped out calling her "my Miorine" in front of the others.

Nor could she get the scooter ride to the celebration party of the birth of GUND-Arm, Inc. out of her mind, with the soft touch of Miorine's arm around her waist and the white-haired girl's body leaning against hers.

All of them false signs.

So all Suletta Mercury, the unbeatable Mobile Suit pilot from the Asticassia School of Technology, could do was cry and hope the tears would wash away the pain that tormented her soul.

"Suletta?"

No response.

"Suletta?"

Again no response.

Noise of footsteps.

"I'm so sorry, Suletta. I don't know where my head is anymore," Miorine said. "I thought you were behind me, so I turned off the lights automatically. I realized I was talking to myself when I was on the road and I almost died of embarrassment."

Suletta felt that Miorine grabbed her right hand from behind and pulled slightly to force her to turn around. She could not stop her.

Miorine's face was very different from the one she had shown until just a couple of minutes ago. It was as if her CEO mask had evaporated and in its place had appeared the Miorine that only Suletta could see.

"You're crying!" said Miorine worriedly. "What happened?" She reached out her left hand and wiped away her tears very carefully.

"I... nerves... the prototype test... accumulated tiredness... I haven't slept much these days..." Suletta tried not to look directly into Miorine's eyes.

"Forgive me, Suletta. It was my fault. I've been gone and left you with a mountain of things to do. Many times I go at an exhausting pace and I don't even stop to think if people will be able to keep up with it or not. It will not happen again, I promise."

"No, that's not it! Don't worry, Miorine-san. This will pass."

Miorine moved closer to Suletta until there was barely any separation between their bodies, wrapped her arms around Suletta's waist and rested her head on her chest.

"I've missed you, Suletta." Miorine's voice was barely a whisper. "In all this time, I hadn't realized how much I had taken your presence for granted and how long the days become when you're not around."

"Miorine..."

"During the time I've been away I've negotiated, fought, argued, bought, hired, invested. And at the end of each day, the only thought on my mind was to come back here. I wish I could have gotten rid of everything, but it was impossible. I had to keep moving forward. GUND-Arm, Inc. has to be a success. For your safety and Aerial's."

Suletta clasped Miorine in her arms.

They embraced in silence for a long time, as if with that gesture they could make up for the time they had been apart. When they separated, Suletta bent down, picked up the keychains and put them in her pocket. Miorine looked at her curiously.

"I noticed I had dropped my notebook," Suletta said.

"You clumsy," Miorine scolded her, but her tone was affectionate and she was smiling.

There will be a better time to give it to her, Suletta thought.

Miorine stretched out her right arm and offered her the palm of her hand.

"It's late and I think we both deserve a good rest. Let's go home, Suletta."

The Mercurian girl gently took Miorine's hand.

"Yes, Mio-Mio. Let's go home."

Notes:

This fic is my way of coping with the emotional overload caused by episode 10. Like many of my fics, it's inspired by a song. In this case it's the wonderful "What Am I Supposed to Believe", by Christopher Cross (who sings a duet with singer/songwriter Karla Bonoff), from his album "Another Page". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QufoJODiikY

Some like it hot
Some like it cold
I like it best when it's untold
When I feel sad
And when I feel down
Then I'll wish you were around

What am I supposed to believe?
Is it that you really love me?