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Mercutio had usually been invited to festivities held by the Capulet family. His familial ties to the prince of the city usually secured him an invitation. Though apparently his general comradery with several Montagues, involvement on their side in quarrels with some Capulets, and his well-known tendency to cause mischief and dance on the already very tensed nerves of one Capulet, in particular, had taken care of his invitation for the last few parties to disappear.
The nonexistence of an invitation had not kept him away from those. After all, there was no party like a Capulet party. The first time, his presence had been tolerated. From the second time onward he already had to sneak in, as he was not being let in through the normal entrance. Then he had to try and lay low, not to be recognized, or else he was immediately thrown out again. Laying low and not drawing any attention to himself was not his strong suit.
This time, however, the plan seemed bulletproof. That the party was going to be a costume party, this time, just made it better. It wasn’t too hard to find a nice and appropriate dress in the right size. He only needed to ask for the help of a maid, of whom he knew that she was not going to say anything, to get dressed and the hair styled in an appropriate way. No one was going to suspect him like that. A mask covering the upper half of his face, and a fan to cover the lower half if needed, made the outfit and disguise complete.
Mercutio did think about just blending into a group of other people to sneak in as a nameless attendant. The risk appeared too high, however. He knew the way over the garden walls pretty well already, after all. They seemed like the better option. The dress made it harder, but he got over without knowingly being seen. He put on his mask there, brushed off the skirt of his dress, in case any dirt or foliage had stuck to it, and went towards the terrace that was adjacent to the ballroom. The open doors allowed some cool summer night air to get insight, as well as allowed Mercutio an easy entrance to the room he desired to be in.
The grip around his fan was like one around a blade as he stepped into the room as if suddenly something could happen to him, even though he had been so sure about all of it just a moment ago. Nothing and no one jumped at him. His sudden arrival seemed to not have been of note by anyone. Which was for the best.
Soon a flaw in his plan became apparent. He was not able to talk. He did not trust himself with a good enough performance to not sound weird like this. He hadn’t thought about it. If he had, he would have at least prepared himself to sound as convincingly as a woman as he would be able to. He hadn’t. This meant that when men walked up to him to ask him for a dance, all that he could do was shake his head. The first time someone asked, he did nod and let himself get involved in a short dance, rather awkwardly as he instinctively wanted to set the pace, resulting in him stepping on his dance partner’s feet, more than once. Latest when he didn’t answer any of the questions he was asked that could not be simply answered by a nod or shake of the head, his dance partner lost interest.
It seemed the wisest to just deny anyone else a dance and rather spend the evening drinking in the atmosphere and consuming alcohol. The musicians were excellent, and some artists had been invited to grand additional entertainment for the guests. It was all enjoyable like this, even without the usual dancing and joking around.
An all too familiar voice appearing behind him, made Mercutio freeze up. Some time had passed and so far he hadn’t seen the Capulet. In a way, he had hoped it would stay like that as he assumed that if someone was going to figure his disguise out, it was going to be Tybalt. The fan was immediately opened and up as the first syllable was said.
“I’ve heard some rumors about a beautiful, mysterious, and silent woman who graced us with her presence today. I take that’s you?”
Against his better judgment, Mercutio turned around and extended his hand both as a greeting and confirmation. Tybalt took it and shortly placed his lips against it. “Tybalt Capulet. At your service.”
Mercutio knew of nothing better than to play along, both to not be thrown out and maybe be able to later bug Tybalt with this somehow. He let half a smile be seen by moving the fan to the side as he did a small curtsy in front of the Capulet.
“I assume I won’t get your name?” Tybalt asked. Mercutio nodded. He hadn’t planned any name he could give, even if he could speak. Maybe a little too much of his planning went into the hairstyle.
“I’ve heard you had only one dance to give this night, so I am not going to ask for one. But will it be okay if I stay a little with you?” Mercutio wasn’t sure how to respond. He was not even sure what exactly was happening and how it came to this point. He didn’t know any better but to nod. What could go wrong if he was just going to stand next to Tybalt in silence?
The longer they stood there, the more paranoia grew within Mercutio. Tybalt made small conversation, being surprisingly forthcoming, not asking anything that wasn’t easily answerable with the means Mercutio had. The Capulet surely had to know. He was just playing along to ridicule Mercutio later. It had to be. Tybalt just talked so openly and easily about things, he made sure he wasn’t overbearing, and even smiled through all of it. It just seemed like a bad joke.
Tybalt made sure their glasses never were dry for very long, which Mercutio appreciated. He did need the alcohol or else he feared going insane. It was hard to tell whether the Capulet was just playing a good host or if he had other intentions.
“While I am aware that you will probably not dance with me,” Tybalt said, never having asked Mercutio to dance, “may I ask you to accompany me for a stroll around the garden?”
Mercutio hesitated for a second before taking the hand that Tybalt had offered him. Maybe it was the alcohol. It was probably a stupid decision. But what could go more wrong outside than inside?
“I thought some fresh air might be rather nice. It was getting pretty warm there inside,” Tybalt said as they reached the terrace. Mercutio nodded and smiled slightly. The smile was intended to be a pretend one, to play his part, but it came easier to him than planned. In its own way, it was weirdly nice to see this calm and charming side of the usually so foul-mouthed Capulet. Mercutio had taken down his fan, hoping the darkness outside and his mask were enough to hide his identity further, should Tybalt not already know.
The weather was really pleasant. The temperature was high enough to not feel cold, and low enough to not feel warm. The stars and the almost full moon illuminated the garden around them. They had linked their arms, Tybalt had suggested it, as Mercutio was shown around the garden. Tybalt pointed out several flowers that had themselves gone to sleep for the night, saying how beautiful they looked in the light. “Just like you, I assume, already a beauty at night, but blooming even brighter at day.” Mercutio was glad his resulting flush was probably difficult to see. Tybalt had him seen by day often but never once compared him to a flower, and most likely never would.
Their tour seemed to come to an end after maybe an hour they had slowly strolled, arms linked through the gardens. Mercutio had not expected to spend parts of his evening like this, but he surprised himself by not thinking about it as unpleasant, the opposite actually. Still, something within him was scared that Tybalt could turn every second and reveal he had known the whole time while they both tried to outplay the other.
They came to a full stop back on the terrace and unlinked their arms. Instead, Tebaldo took once again Mercutio’s hand in his. “Will I see you again?” he asked. Mercutio wasn’t quite sure what to answer. He knew the real answer was yes. It was most likely the next day that they saw each other. But he wasn’t entirely sure whether Tybalt asked him, Mercutio, or the silent woman. So he shrugged.
Tybalt’s first reaction looked like a sad smile. Then he took their hands up and once again pressed his mouth against them. “It is a pity. I would really like to meet you again. You have been very pleasant company today. You’ve listened to me talking. You reacted more than most people I’ve talked to about similar stuff. You had been a more engaging conversation partner than most, even though you did not say a word, even though I couldn’t see your whole face. Your eyes are like stars and sometimes shine even brighter than them. And they are honest. I sincerely hope we can see each other again.”
Slowly, hearing stuff like this, those flattering, charming, and most likely honest words, Mercutio started to doubt Tybalt had recognized him. He did not let his guard fall completely. Maybe the Capulet was a better actor than he expected him to be. But also, the realization that he had possibly fooled Tybalt hard enough for that man to seriously fancy him, or at least this illusion of him, started to take shape. He had thought to fool with him and annoy him. He hadn’t planned for anyone to fall for him, least the Capulet. And now, Mercutio almost wished to just get the evening over with and bury the dress somewhere as soon as it was over, making the mysterious woman disappear and letting Tybalt be none the wiser about her identity. It suddenly felt unnecessarily cruel to play with him and his feelings like this. It was best for the Capulet to just leave with a pleasant memory.
This evening just seemed to be a collection of potentially bad decisions. Mercutio shortly distanced himself from Tybalt, just to then extend his hand towards the other man. Tybalt understood the silent question, accepted it, and drew Mercutio into the dance. The music was fainter here outside than on the actual dancefloor, but it was enough. Enough to have rhythm. Enough to not trample on Tybalt’s feet.
The dance came to Mercutio with more ease than the last one. Not just that the dance seemed smoother; it also seemed calming. He would have never guessed before, that being this close to Tybalt Capulet could be considered calming. Tybalt did not ask any questions he knew he wouldn’t receive an answer for. Tybalt obviously led most of their movements but gave enough room for Mercutio to possibly steer against it. It seemed alarmingly easy to get swept up and lost in this dance. It almost felt too good to have it once and to give it up forever. Traitorous thoughts. After all, he was the two of them who knew whom he was dancing with and all those thoughts and feelings of his seemed to go against any logic.
Time flew by too fast, and their feet came to a stop. They might have danced through more than one song change. Mercutio’s heart was pounding in his chest. Tybalt did let him go, but neither of them stepped further apart.
“I wholeheartedly thank you for giving me this dance. It, however, makes it not easier to let you go.” He paused. “I warn you. I am going to act very selfishly right now. Please don’t hesitate to stop me whenever you see fit.”
Mercutio was first worried, which remained this way as Tybalt’s face got closer to his. His heart started to pound even harder. He wasn’t dull, he knew what this was going to be, and yet, somehow, he did not stop it from happening.
It wasn’t Mercutio, but the dull sound of their masks bumping together, which stopped Tybalt. The Capulet stopped for a second, just to remove his own mask completely. He once again closed the distance, but instead of kissing Mercutio, Tybalt just placed his forehead against Mercutio’s own forehead, covered by the mask. Tybalt could have kissed him. A single mask was not keeping him from doing this. He could have kissed him. And Mercutio found himself disappointed that he didn’t. He didn’t know what was going on with him. Maybe he could blame it on this damn romantic atmosphere they had managed to set up.
Tybalt remained like this for a short bit, before lifting his head again, just enough, placing his hands at either side of Mercutio’s mask. “May I?”
This is where Mercutio should have stopped him. This is where things needed to end. It had been too good for a long time already. He should keep his identity hidden. He feared, otherwise, to make the Capulet instantly furious, rightfully. Tybalt was known for his bad temper any other day. Everything told him to draw the line exactly there. But Tybalt’s question seemed entirely too innocent and almost pleading, that he couldn’t. He could not draw the line.
It felt like time had slowed down. While his mask was slowly lifted, tears started to gather in Mercutio’s eyes in remorse for what he did to Tybalt this evening and what he had just allowed himself to throw away. The Capulet though, had his eyes as good as closed already, as he properly leaned in for a kiss.
Mercutio seized it, the kiss, the opportunity. He wrapped his arms around Tybalt and held him there in place, close to him.
It was wrong. It shouldn’t have come this far. This was a mistake. Mercutio knew it so well. He knew this was wrong. But right now he just wanted something that was wrong.
“I-” Tybalt started to speak after he dreadfully broke the kiss. Mercutio had let go of him at that very moment. The Capulet’s other words did not follow, as Tybalt looked, no, stared at Mercutio. Tybalt’s face was filled with immediate shock and disbelief. Though before that was even able to shift over to anger, Tybalt stormed off into the garden, leaving Mercutio behind.
It felt wrong to just let Tybalt run off like that. Maybe it was the wiser choice, but Mercutio had already made a selection of unwise choices that evening. He wasn’t going to stop here.
Running after Tybalt was made somewhat harder by a ballgown being rather difficult to easily chase someone in. In hindsight, it was rather surprising how effortlessly he had managed to get over the wall. At least, he had always been a fast runner, the dress could not completely take that from him.
Between densely planted flower beds, that had been shown to him earlier, Mercutio did manage to catch up slightly. At least good enough to be close enough so he didn’t need to scream.
“Please, Tybalt, wait. I can explain this.”
This was enough for Tybalt to stop in his tracks and turn around sharply. Mercutio stopped at a safe distance from him.
“Great, great, great. Really great. I originally ran because I thought to see your face somewhere I really shouldn’t. It’s really you. Unless I’m not completely hallucinating right now. Good to know that it’s not me who’s crazy.” The voice still lacked the pure anger Mercutio had expected. Tybalt still seemed in disbelief, and most likely bitter. “Do you have truly no shame, Mercutio? This was too far. Why did you not stop earlier, hadn’t you had enough amusement yet? Why go this far? You let me kiss you! You kissed me! Weren’t your usual methods of torturing me complex enough? Had they gotten too boring? You said you can explain, so please enlighten me. Why this?” As expected, Tybalt actually sounded hurt. It had never been the intention, of any of Mercutio’s joking to hurt the Capulet. Maybe to ridicule him slightly, but never did he go so far as to intentionally hurt him.
“You know how I’m no longer invited to any of your family’s festivities?”
“I am acutely aware of that,” Tybalt answered rather impatiently.
“Since my failings of sneaking in and staying until I choose to leave for the last few times, I had taken to a disguise this time. This hadn’t come together with you on my mind.”
“Then why stay around me for this long if you wanted to not be recognized?”
“You had asked nicely.”
“And you thought to be, therefore, ‘nice’ to me and followed? Yeah, right.” Tybalt did not seem to entirely trust his words yet.
“I first played my part to not seem suspicious. Then it was rather pleasant to be around you.” He did not know what else to do than tell the truth. He did not know why he tried. The likelihood of being believed seemed rather low. Maybe it was just to save his dignity, to convince Tybalt that even he wouldn’t go this far just to ridicule him.
“Ha,” it was the driest attempt of a fake laughter Mercutio had ever heard, “don’t make me laugh. I think staying silent for this long had scrambled your brain. I’m surprised you even lasted that long without saying anything.”
It all just seemed like a lost cause. “If it is this hard to believe that I can do things without having any ulterior motive, fine. Let me just put my mask on, Tybalt. I’ll leave, you can pretend you have never seen me and we both pretend nothing has ever happened.”
Mercutio already started to adjust his mask. “Don’t.” Mercutio stopped and looked at Tybalt. “Do not pretend you are someone you’re not.”
“I don’t.” He put his mask on properly.
Suddenly, Tybalt was in front of him and took the mask off Mercutio’s face again. “You do. This,” he pointed at Mercutio, “and this,” now he held the mask in front of Mercutio’s face, “are two different people.”
Mercutio reached out for the mask. He touched the Capulet’s hand by accident. Tybalt drew it away quickly. “There are only two differences. I’m now talking, and you can see my face completely. The rest was me. I listened to you. I went around the garden with you. I’ve heard your stories about the flowers. I danced with you. It was me whom you gave those compliments.”
Tybalt shook his head. He seemed out of words for a moment. His breathing seemingly became more labored, slightly less regular.
“It was me whom you kissed. And it was me who clang to you while kissing.”
Tybalt continued to shake his head. “No, no, no, no. You must be a product of bad dreams. I danced with her. I complimented her. I kissed her. And now you are here to mess up my memory of her.” Tybalt seemed close to a proper meltdown. Mercutio was not yet sure whether Tybalt thought of him right now truly just as an illusion or whether he, the real Mercutio, had been called a product of nightmares.
Before things could get worse, Mercutio took a final step forward and wrapped Tybalt in a hug. Tybalt slumped slightly against him, wrapping his arms around Mercutio as well, pressing hard as if he wanted to test that Mercutio didn’t dissipate into thin air. With a very quiet voice, Mercutio apologetically said, “I am her, and she is me. I should not have done any of this and I apologize. But I don’t entirely regret it. If it takes for me to wear a dress and stay quiet, just to see the Tybalt I’ve seen today, I might be willing to do it again.”
“I don’t understand you,” Tybalt muttered.
“That makes two of us. I don’t know what’s happening to me either.” With a light jest in his voice, Mercutio added, “Maybe your charming side had just won me over. I’ve never seen it before.” He was not entirely sure himself whether it was just a joke or actually the truth. Maybe he had been cooked soft by those compliments. It was concerning though if that was all that was needed to make him like a person significantly more in the span of a short time.
Tybalt let go of Mercutio, who in turn took it as a sign to let the Capulet go as well. “I still can’t quite accept this as the truth. It’s difficult,” Tybalt said. He eyed Mercutio up and down as if he hadn’t seen him before. “You look ridiculous.”
“I think to remember you complimenting my beauty more than once this fine evening.”
“That-” Tybalt wanted to protest. “Well, never mind.”
“That wasn’t meant for me?”
“Yes. I saw a lady who looked lovely in that dress; you look ridiculous.”
“Tybalt, I-” Mercutio was interrupted.
“It was you the whole time, I know.” Tybalt started to pace around a little, from one flower bed to the next. Mercutio followed so they didn’t need to shout through the garden.
“I’m still waiting for the punch line, so I can punch you after it,” Tybalt eventually said.
“I already told you that I don’t have one. Besides that, it’s not very honorable to harm a lady.” Mercutio opened his fan with one wrist flip and fanned himself a few times, just to add a little flair to his joke.
“You are no lady.”
They stood there in silence for a bit.
“So, what are we supposed to do about this evening? What do you want, Tybalt?”
The Capulet indecisively shook his head. He was not looking at Mercutio who stood next to him and rather had his eyes cast down at the closed-up flowers.
“I should kill you for this. You would deserve it.”
“Do you want to do that?” Mercutio noticed his own voice having lost all its joke and instead it had gotten quite soft.
Once again, Tybalt shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s not worth the hassle afterward.”
While Mercutio had more often than not his troubles with remaining serious when he should, Tybalt had a hard time not delivering his verbal jabs, at least not when he was knowingly around Mercutio. Now Mercutio knew that Tybalt wasn’t always like that. He knew now that Tybalt could be outright nice and pleasant to be around, just not around him apparently. Not when he was who he was.
“Do you want to forget about all of this?”
Another shake of the head. “I don’t think so. I don’t think I will be able to anyway.”
“So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. Turn back time? Refuse the dance, wish you goodbye and be left in the unknown about the lady’s identity? I don’t know.”
Mercutio wanted to do something. He wanted to reach out to Tybalt but feared that the Capulet would start to withdraw again. So he stayed exactly where he was.
“You know that there is an option of accepting the night and what happened as what it was. It would just also involve accepting that not all I’m doing is maliciously motivated”
“After the years of you being nothing but a pain in my ass, this might be harder than you think.” Mercutio understood. He understood that it was hard to believe him that he wasn’t just pulling Tybalt’s leg again. He understood that it was hard to take him seriously after he had worked hard for years on not being taken as such. He understood that it was hard to instantly change his mind about him. Maybe it was so easy for him to change his perception of the Capulet because it was so easy to assume that Tybalt actually cared about most people and was as nice as he had been the evening to most people because the usual perspective Mercutio had was his own and he knew that he hadn’t made it easy for the Capulet to actually like him, family politics aside. Their relationship hadn’t solely been built on what friends Mercutio had and what Tybalt thought of them. Even before he had gotten close to the Montagues, Mercutio had figured out how easy it was to anger Tybalt. It had been an exciting dance with fire. The danger created a certain thrill that was addicting.
Tybalt finally faced Mercutio again, though his eyes seemed to focus on anything else around but Mercutio. “I guess I should still thank you for listening to me as you did. It was nice to feel like my words were not just dismissed for once.” All Tybalt managed to do, was smile weakly. “And…” he hesitated and almost begrudgingly continued, “I guess I should thank you for the dance you gave me. Even though it was with you, it was not a bad dance.” It seemed like a difficult thing to admit for the Capulet. Mercutio understood that.
But Mercutio was also Mercutio, and he couldn’t stop the words before they left his mouth. “I would say the kiss wasn’t a bad one either.”
Tybalt turned away again to face the flowers instead. Possibly because they were not talking that much back to him. He seemingly ignored Mercutio’s comment. “And I have to thank you for proving my hypothesis that I prefer you silent.”
Mercutio remained silent after this. It seemed the most appropriate, especially since he did not know how to respond to this. Once again, they remained like this for a short while. Mercutio assumed Tybalt needed some time to think. He himself had rather unorderly thoughts but sorting them didn’t seem good either as most of them were collectively inappropriate at this moment.
Tybalt broke the silence: “I’m going to put a lot of trust in you right now. Trust that you’ll once again just listen and not make a comment about what I’m going to say. This is not going to be turned into a joke. Also, if I hear that you have told anyone else about it, I swear, you’ll be a dead man.”
Mercutio wasn’t sure what Tybalt was going to tell him. He made it sound like a rather serious matter. Mercutio was, however, intrigued to know what it was. Therefore, he gave his agreement to the conditions with a nod.
Tybalt turned to him again, now looking at Mercutio as if the Capulet was still deciding whether to risk it and rather just kill Mercutio on the spot. “I had wanted to say how I wished you would have refused the kiss because it left me wanting more. The way you held me close to you… I didn’t want to never see you again. Then I saw your face and my feet were carrying me off. At least now I know that I was not going crazy, and that I will indeed see you again. Though right now I feel like I’d rather you disappeared. My thoughts are too messy.”
Mercutio reached out. He touched Tybalt’s upper arm. He wasn’t sure why. To hopefully grant some comfort and reassurance? All he managed to do though was make Tybalt’s face look like he was in pain. “Please. Don’t,” the Capulet said. Mercutio removed his hand. He had been foolish to think that, after this evening of deceit, Tybalt could somehow like him a little more than prior. The evening must have been true torture for Tybalt. Mercutio hadn’t intended it to be so. He just came here to have fun. It had been fun. But now… He wouldn’t call this particularly fun. It just felt bad to leave this unresolved and Tybalt alone. He'd stay until it was resolved or Tybalt sent him away. Tybalt hadn’t yet sent him away.
Tybalt took a deep breath before he spoke again, “For the benefit of the doubt, I am willing to grant you my trust once. Since this one evening seemed to have been enough to sway your opinion of me. If you have seen that I can be nice, I’m willing to let you have the same opportunity to change my mind about you. Today didn’t quite work out for that on my side.”
Mercutio was surprised to hear this. He did not expect to get something like what sounded like a proper chance to prove himself, in a way. It was a chance to show Tybalt that, while he was who he was and could not nor wanted to fundamentally change something about that, he was probably not entirely the person Tybalt thought he was, that he could be trusted with some things and didn’t do everything just to get a cheap laugh out of it.
“This will be very fragile trust. In two days’ time, just after noon, you can meet me at the edge of the woods outside of the city. If you bring anyone else with you, you will never even see me there. If you are there already when I approach, I will be gone in an instant. If I hear any rumor that is slightly close to the truth of what happened this evening until then, I will not be there with the same friendly intentions. This is the only chance you will get. After that, you will have lost any slither of trust I ever had in you if you don't follow all of these conditions.”
Mercutio nodded enthusiastically. “Of course. I will do those things. In two days’ time, at the edge of the woods, I will be there, alone. You can trust me.” There were other words he wanted to say, but for once that evening, he went with the wiser decision that seemed to be keeping those to himself. Tybalt, after all, seemed to be a little chattier than usual now that he had the opportunity with a quieter Mercutio. And it was not unpleasant to for once just listen to the words the Capulet was saying without already having to craft a witty response or insult that would one-up Tybalt’s. This had not been about any kind of joke for a while already. He meant it. He wanted to get to know this Tybalt more.
“We will see about that.” While Tybalt sounded still rather skeptical, Mercutio thought to see a smile flash over the Capulet’s face for just a brief second. “But,” Tybalt spoke again, voice determined but not unnecessarily commanding sounding, “don’t do this again.”
“What exactly is ‘this’? I’ve done a couple of things today. I’ve dressed for the occasion, snuck into your family’s party, spend time with you, danced, drank, kissed. I fear you need to specify.”
“This,” Tybalt was gesturing at the whole of Mercutio, “general get-up. I don’t want other unfortunate men to fall for this disguise and get their hearts tricked.”
“Well, so far this get-up had been the most successful to sneak into here and not get thrown out. It would be a shame to let it go this easily.” Mercutio couldn’t give it up completely. He needed to say something. He would stop before an actual argument would start, but he was simply too used to lightly teasing Tybalt at least. In a way, it was a favor. It kept Tybalt on his legs, at least mentally, and physically if he decided to start a chase. It was both a challenge of wit and a workout. And Mercutio was not going to challenge anyone who was not worth it. “Or do you reckon it is the color? Would you rather see me in something different? A dark green maybe?”
It must have been Mercutio’s own wishful thinking that saw something like a thought of consideration in Tybalt’s eyes. The Capulet, however, shook his head, and it was gone from his eyes as his head stilled again. “No, no more dresses. I reckon I will find a way for an invitation to get your way, should I be proven in not having misplaced my trust.”
“I won’t disappoint you.”
“I hope so.”