Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His mind was racing. The pain was excruciating… His eye hurt. His shoulder hurt. His arm hurt… but none of that was nearly as painful as his failures to protect his little brothers… the one job he had been entrusted with since he was only a small tot… he'd failed.

"Damn right you did."

He whipped around to where he thought he had heard the taunt, darkness engulfing him completely from all directions, empowering the warm colors that were just in the sky.

"Hello?!" He called out, desperately hoping that through the darkness one of his brothers would emerge and inform him that this was all just a prank, even if he knew better.

"Hello, Raphael…" The voice responded, dragging out his name longer than-

Wait.

How did this thing know his name? He voiced his panicky curiosity, despite some part of him wanting to keep his mouth shut.

"Who are you?! What do you want from me?! How do you know my-"

"Heheheh…"

A sinister chuckle sounded throughout the empty, dark abyss…

"How disrespectful…" The mysterious voice said, again, dragging out its words. "You don't remember me?"

Remember…? Raph thought. Was he supposed to recognize this voice? Had he met this being before?

"You disappoint me, Raphael…" The voice declared, mocking an upset tone.

"Hm. No matter. I know JUST how to make you remember…"

The emphasis on the word 'just' sent a chill up the turtle's spine and fueled a rush of anxiety… he was not able to linger on these feelings for long, however, as gross, all-to-familiar pink tentacles came shooting out at him from the darkness that enveloped him. They stabbed him all over and moments later he was pinned to the ground, blood dripping from the stab wounds. More tentacles came from the darkness and for the second time in his seventeen years of life, the Krang invaded his memories in the most violent, uncomfortable way possible. The feeling was incredibly invasive, the tentacles sifting through his head once more, simply to get him to remember something that he could remember clear as day now. This wasn't the worst of his problems at the moment though, as this HURT. This was by far one of the most painful things he'd ever experienced and despite his desperate attempts not to, he screamed.

"AH!"

Raph jolted up into a sitting position with his hand placed on his plastron, trying and failing to slow his heart's rapid beat. His hand followed the constantly changing pattern of movement his chest experienced, rising and falling with each uneasy, shaky, rapid breath he took. He removed his hand from his chest and simply started staring at it.

He was shaking…

Trembling…

Badly…

What was that about…? He'd had nightmares… quite often in fact, but normally he could shake them off, plaster a smile on his face, and pretend that everything was fine. This one, though… This one was different… He was… scared… No, he was terrified …  A single droplet of water landed on his hand, alerting him that he was crying…

Pathetic…

He wiped at his tears, criticizing himself for being such a wuss. Pull yourself together! He scolded himself, desperately trying to make the tears stop. God dammit… He was supposed to be the oldest… the strongest. He wasn't allowed such emotions… he needed to be strong…. To protect his little brothers… his emotions didn't matter… his brothers took utmost priority… still… he couldn't make the tears stop… how pathetic could he get?!

…

The snapper sobbed. He was frustrated…he was angry… He was sad… but most of all… He was scared… he never liked admitting to stuff like that, especially not to anyone else which is why these emotions often bottled up…. But he was scared… The snapper sat and sobbed for a minute before realizing he was just getting more and more weak with each tear that rolled down his cheeks.

Well… no use… sitting here…

His thoughts were separated by sniffles as he recovered from his crying fit… he grabbed his phone off of the dresser that sat right next to his bed and checked the time.

3:49…

The turtle let out a complicated sigh. He was still tired but after…

That…

He shuddered…yeah, no, he wasn't gonna be able to go back to bed any time soon… The alligator snapping turtle stood, cracking his neck and picking up the red bandana that also lay atop his dresser. He tied it around his head like it was second nature and walked out of the train trailer he called his room.

He entered the kitchen and looked around, just to make sure the coast was clear and that he hadn't awoken anyone with his yelp of fear when he had initially awoken. The last thing that the Krang had said to him still echoed in his mind…

" I know JUST how to make you remem- "

"NO!" The turtle yelled as he slapped his hands over the general area where his ears should be in a desperate attempt to hush the sinister, dark voice of the Krang. It didn't really actually work, however… He could still hear the voice… taunting him… The snapper dropped to his knees, his legs turning to jelly and no longer being able to support the turtle's weight. Tears began streaming down his face as his breathing began to speed up. Actually noticing this, however, did him no favors. As he realized he was freaking out, he began panicking about him freaking out. His right arm fell to his side and with his left arm he began clutching and clawing at his plastron which only scratched it up. His right hand was squeezed into a fist so tightly that his palm soon began bleeding. His lungs began to tighten causing the gasps for air to become more frequent and uneven…he couldn't stand it… he quickly buried his head in his hands, overwhelmed….. This has never happened to him before… he'd had small attacks before… but never one this bad… still he couldn't stop…. The voice of the Krang was getting louder, more insistent… and there were more… They were all yelling at him…

" You couldn't save them.

How come you're so useless?

You're the oldest.

You should be stronger.

Come join us.

Your brothers hate you

You're not strong enough.

Come join us.

We can change that.

Just say the word.

You're above all your pathetic relatives.

Join us.

We'll release you from their grasp.

Join us 

Join us

Join us.

Raphael

Raphael

Raph-"

" Ael! Raph! "

"RAPH!!!"

The snapping turtle let out a small gasp and looked up only to see his little brother, Donatello, crouching in front of him so that the two were at eye level. Donnie's face was smeared with concern and worry… he'd never seen his older brother behave like this. It bothered him… and if Raph was feeling so… bad … he should've said something…

Emotions weren't exactly Donnie's strong suit but… he needed to comfort his older brother… even if he wasn't exactly sure how to or what he was comforting him from…

"Hey…Raph… Are you alright?" the soft-shell asked, awkwardly and bluntly… yeah, no…. Emotions were not the genius's strong suit. Still, this question did irk somewhat of a reply within his older brother.

"I-I… it… the voices… th-they… I can't…"

With such a simple, stuttered statement he shattered Donatello's heart… he'd never seen his older brother so…. Vulnerable…  

Not knowing what else to do, he roped his older brother into something that was rarely given by him; a hug.

The snapper seemed to sink into the hug for a moment, but just as quickly he violently tore himself from it, knocking both turtles onto their butts.

"Raph…?" The soft-shell mumbled, looking at his older brother in pure shock and worry…. What was happening?

"I-I… P-please…."

"Raph…" It truly did break the soft-shells heart to see his eldest brother in such a state…. He stood and walked over to his older brother who was still sitting on the floor and kneeled down…

"Raph… what's going on?" The question was blunt… more so than he had intended, but he did want answers.

His brother's eyes widened as if realizing something… as if realizing…who Donnie was for the first time since he had been there. Raphael's eyes, puffy and red from a stream of tears that Donnie hadn't realized stopped, moistened again and thick tears, yet few and far between, began streaming down his face again… His older brother placed his hand on the turtle's face and gently caressed it, a motion that the soft-shell would've normally denied, but, just this once, he let it slide…

"D-Donnie…? I-Is that you…?"

So the soft-shell was right. Initially, (or at least when pulled into the hug…) Raph hadn't recognized Donnie… That's why he was being so weird towards him… although… this did strike another chord within Donnie… If Raph didn't think Donnie was Donnie, who did he think he was? It couldn't have been any of his other brothers because the soft shell knew that he wouldn't have reacted that way to the hug with any of them… It likely wasn't Splinter, April or Casey because Donnie didn't (or at least he didn't think he did) look humanoid or like a rat in any way-

"Donnie?"

Donnie was pulled back to reality when he heard his older brother call his name once again, and he realized that he hadn't answered his question. 

"Yes, it is me. Who else could possibly match these fabulous looks and this outstanding level of ingeniousness?"

Donnie attempted to lighten the mood while also getting at least a little clue to his question. He seemed to be reaching one of his goals when a small trace of a smile appeared on his elder brother's face. 

"Heh heh…" Raph chuckled, which also managed to make Donnie crack a smile. He was happy he could aid his older brother even if he was really just being himself. He sat and watched as his brother wiped at his eyes, trying and failing to hide the tears that continued to stream down his face.

"I…"

The snapping turtle sniffed, alerting Donnie that although he had made some progress, his work wasn't over. A small amount of reluctance was quickly completely overcome by care as Donnie spread his arms in gesture for a hug.

"Wanna give the hug another shot?" The soft-shell asked nonchalantly. His older brother hesitated and made an expression that the turtle in purple couldn't quite figure out, but, eventually, the larger turtle spread his arms and allowed the soft-shell to for once envelope him in a hug. Soft sobs followed as the soft-shell rubbed his older brother's shell, careful to avoid the sharp spikes that his older brother was often ashamed of even if he didn't know that Donatello knew this. He had heard him mumbling to himself about it a couple of times, it was nothing.

"Shhhhhhh… It's alright Raph… I'm here…" the soft-shell attempted to comfort his elder brother to the best of his ability, when he suddenly heard a sharp inhale from his older brother followed by a wince and him pulling back from the hug.

"Raph…?" The younger of the two questioned. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah… yeah. It's just…"

And it was just then that the soft shell realized that his brother had been holding his right (His brother's left) shoulder, the same area where his shell and plastron were chipped…

"Ah…"

The soft shell realized.

"I must've rubbed you the wrong way, literally?" He 'asked' but it was quite honestly more of a statement. He felt a little guilty, but he hadn't meant to and if there was anything he'd learned within his two months of recovery since the invasion, it was not to blame himself for stuff he couldn't control.

"No! Well…yeah… I…" Raphael answered to the best of his ability but he seemed….shaken up… terrified, for lack of a better term … Donatello could tell that something was definitely up… but he wasn't so sure what… dammit, emotions really were the only thing that Donatello could never figure out… Raph had been perfectly fine the day before….

"Fine…"

It wasn't really a word that the soft-shell enjoyed using…. Everyone's definition was different… it was just too broad of a word… too complicated…

Donnie was pulled out of his train of thought when he heard the shuffling of his older brother trying to stand. He stood up as well and decided not to leave his older brother until he was sure that he was feeling better.

"So….." He started trying to figure out what to say next to get a smile on his brother's face as well as get the ball rolling… Dammit… The soft-shell hated to admit it to himself but he knew deep down that his twin was much better at this sorta thing than he was…. Too bad he was asleep…

"So…?" The snapper prompted, leaving Donatello with only a few seconds to react. With that short period of time, the turtle opted to say something more Donatello-esk rather than say something sly and humorous like his twin would've said. "What… What was that? I-I mean… are you okay?"

The turtle truly wanted to face-plant onto the floor and cringe right then and there… real smooth, Donatello . Maybe he should've gone for a more jokester-approach… Being too blunt about this… interrogation… could just cause his brother to not want to tell him anything at all….

"Yeah…Yeah! I-I'm fine….. Sorry about that by the way… when… did I wake you up?"

"You… You were screaming…. Did you not notice? I'm surprised you didn't wake anyone else up!"

"I… was screaming…?" The turtle had no idea…. He… Had he really been screaming? Was he… Had he been trying to overpower the noises? It made sense… kinda… but everything else didn't… What was happening to him? This.. wasn't normal… he was… He was perfectly fine yesterday! Why was he being so weird all of a sudden? What was wrong with him?-

"Hey!" His little brother's voice cut through his thoughts, pulling him out of his spiral of questions.

"Shut up, I can hear your thoughts from here." His brother often spoke with his hands and this was no exception. He made hand gestures that provided a sort of familiarity and comfort to the snapping turtle.

"There's nothing wrong with you…. Even if I'm not sure what it is, no one reacts to anything like that for no reason." His little brother's words brought a confliction of feelings to the surface. The words that came out of his mouth were comforting to the larger turtle, but, at the same time, it felt wrong. Like he wasn't supposed to receive this comfort. Like he should be the one giving it, but he wasn't allowed to receive it in return, which… he supposed made sense. He was the older brother, the biggest, so it made sense that he'd have to be the strongest, both physically, which he had no problem with, and mentally, which was a harder battle to fight. Again, torn out of his line of thought by his little brother, Donatello began walking up to him and started making hand gestures once again as he began speaking.

"You wanna make some hot chocolate then head to the living room and talk?"

"Yeah… sure bud."

Chapter Text

"Can you… not reach it?" The snapping turtle began, desperately trying to stifle a laugh. (And kinda failing…) He was sitting at the table, chuckling as he watched his little brother strain to reach the top cabinet where they kept the hot chocolate.

"N-No! I-I MEAN YES. I CAN TOTALLY REACH IT……. he said without a hint of doubt…." Damn. He really couldn't reach it. If he'd had his Battle Shell on, then maybe one of the metal arms could. But plain old Donnie? Nope. "Why'd they put these up so high anyway?!" He heard a howl of laughter come from behind him, as well as footsteps that signified that his older brother was coming to the rescue.

"H-Here, let me help you… haha…" His older brother then reached up to the cabinet with ease and took out the box of Hot Chocolate Powder. It definitely made Donatello happy to see his brother laughing and stuttering because he couldn't contain said laughter… even if he was laughing at him… Why were those cabinets so high up anyway?!

"Go. Sit, hah… I-I'll make it." His older brother suggested, still desperately trying to contain his laughter.

"Nah, I got it..." Donatello sneakily protested. He wanted to do something for his older brother for once. He wanted Raph to sit and relax while he did something, even if it was just as simple as making Hot Chocolate. He was the tech guy, so he took care of the technical stuff, but when it came to almost everything else, it was always Raph having to take care of it…

"Nah, don't sweat it, Don. I got it. And besides, not even Mikey can make hot cocoa like I can."

As much as the soft-shell wanted to protest more, he knew that his elder brother was right. Raph’s hot chocolate was second to none. None of the brothers knew what made it so good, but they all agreed on one thing. At the end or the beginning of any day, whether short or long, hot or cold, Raphaels hot chocolate was the BEST.

"Fine." The soft-shell agreed, reluctantly. (He was looking forward to the hot chocolate, though.) He walked over to the table and sat and watched as his older brother grabbed a few extra ingredients. Whipped cream, marshmallows and powdered sugar to make Donnie's extra sweet.

Just how I like it… thanks, Raph.

Donnie understood how lucky he and his brothers were to have an older brother like Raph, unlike his brothers, who didn't seem to really understand. In fact, it wasn't uncommon for them to call Raph "Dad" when talking about him when he wasn't around. I mean, yes, they had Splinter, who did start being more present in their lives as of late, but, still. It was a little late. And who comforted the brothers when they had nightmares? Who fed them and made sure that they were comfortable? Who took care of them when they were sick? Who congratulated them when it was deserved and disciplined them when needed? Not Splinter. It was Raph, and to be frank, that was one of the reasons that Donnie still held a large amount of resentment towards their biological father. He handed down the torch and flame of responsibility of a parent down to Raph at such a young age, simply because he was too selfish to put aside his own wants and provide his children with what they needed. It made Donnie angry, even if he tried not to show it.

"Donnie?" Raph prompted, dragging Donatello back to reality. "You alright over there, Bud?" To this, the soft-shell chuckled. Raph’s big brother senses (as Leo and Mikey started to call them) never failed. You could be on the other side of the earth and someone would look at you funny and Raph would come running.

"Yeah, brother. I'm good." The soft-shell gave a gentle smile, though he was quite eager to get to the explanation of what was going on with his older brother. He needed to know what was up. Though he'd never admit it, he was worried. He just wanted to make sure his older brother was okay…

"Well… That's good." The snapper said, even though his big-bro senses were still tingling. "Good news is that the hot cocoa's almost done!" His little brother gasped almost immediately and let out a small "Yesssssss!" To which the snapper gave a small chuckle. He wasn't so sure it was actually good news on his part though. He was dreading the completion of his signature hot chocolate because he knew that when he was done and he and Donnie headed to the living room, they were definitely going to " talk ", which the snapper was not looking forward to. He turned down the flame on the stove in pure desperation to slow the process of the boiled liquid chocolate, even though it was practically done already. He 

didn't want to talk about and relive what had just happened. He was fine. A little shaken up, yeah. Still trembling? A little. Afraid? Of everything. Afraid of this talk. Afraid of what comes after. Afraid of more nightmares. Afraid that said nightmares might have deeper meanings. Afraid that he and his brothers… aren't as safe as he hoped. He sighed. The hot chocolate on the gas lit stove in front of him seemed pretty done, though, whether he wanted it to be or not.

"Hey, DonDon, pass me two mugs, will ya?" The snapper called out to his little brother, who stood and grabbed the two mugs.

"Thanks, bro." The snapper said as Donatello placed the two mugs onto the counter next to the stove.

"No problem, big brother." The soft-shell replied and still stood there, watching as his older brother poured the brown concoction into the mugs and topped both off with whipped cream, adding powdered sugar to one and sprinkles to the other and marshmallows to both.

"Here you go, lil' man" The snapping turtle said as he handed the soft-shell the cup with the powdered sugar on it.

"Thanks, Raph." The soft-shell mumbled as he took a sip of the warm beverage. It burned his tongue a little but he didn't care. The chocolate tasted wonderful. It tasted like home . He loved it.

"So… Imma head back to bed. Love you, bro!" The snapper announced while turning toward his room, desperate to avoid the conversation that was supposed to follow the completion of the hot cocoa.

"Nuh-uh-uh-uh-uh." Donatello declared, adamant to talk with his brother. "Clever, but I think you're forgetting who the smart one is, Raphael." The snapper stopped in his tracks while letting out an audible sigh of disappointment. The soft-shell watched as his older brother placed down the hot chocolate that he wasn’t sure his older brother had ever drank from onto the table and turned to face him. "We're gonna ' head ' to the living room and we're going to talk ." The soft-shell declared sternly, unwilling to let his older brother slither out of his grasp. It was already apparent by what had gone down earlier this morning that Raph was hiding something from him and he wanted- No, he needed to know what was happening. 

The snapper turned around slowly and faced his little brother as he placed down the hot chocolate that he suddenly had no appetite for. He knew even before he had said anything that he was going to try his hardest to slither his way out of his little brother's grasp. He decided that the best way to do this was to play dumb, and before he realized that playing dumb with the smart one wasn't going to work, he began speaking. "What's there to talk about?" He asked and then realized that this wasn't going to work.

"Don't play dumb with me, Raphael. Again, forgetting who the smart one is." The soft-shell said as he tapped his temple. Raphael sighed, not wanting to carry out this conversation.

"I'm fine, bud. Sorry I woke you up. I just had a little nightmare and was still pretty shaken up, that's all. I'm fine."

"A 'little nightmare' is dreaming that you're getting attacked by kitchen cutlery. Still being 'a little shaken up' means waking up suddenly and needing to catch your breath, NOT whatever happened to you. So talk to me. What happened?"

"I said I'm fine. Sorry I worried you, but I'm good. There's nothing to talk about."

"That's a lie! You know that something is up. Why not just tell me? You can trust me. I'm your little brother."

"Because there's nothing to tell you, Donatello! I'm fine!"

The soft-shell flinched at the mention of his full name. There were two things that told you when Raph was really pissed. Using their full names, and cursing. Still, he wasn't going to give up. He was determined to know what was going on with his brother.

"Stop lying, Raph! You need help! Why are you being so stubborn about it?!"

"I said I'm FINE."

The snapper finally snapped. Though the relief of letting out his emotions was immediately washed over with a wave of guilt when he saw his little brother's face.

Worry.

Concern.

Confliction.

These emotions were plastered all over Donnie's face. He hadn't heard his brother yell since they were kids. Even then, nothing as intense as this.

Way to go, stupid. So much for being the smartest one in the group.

He knew it. He knew he shouldn't have kept on pushing for answers. And even if he had, he knew that he could've, no, should've been gentler about it, even if he wasn't a gentle person…

"Raph, I–"

"Donnie, I–"

The snapper ceased his statement. What could Donnie need to say? It was him who should be apologizing. He exploded at his little brother just for being concerned. He should've known better. How much more pathetic could he get? He was such a failure. Bitching about nightmares, crying, avoiding conversation, and yelling at his brother for being worried? He'd let his emotions get the better of him. How could he? He knew how to handle them. He had practiced spacing out and letting his body act on its own during times of high stress, and during times of rage, terror and loneliness, he'd had Savage, who he was slowly starting to come to terms with. How many more times could he fail?

"I–"

"I–"

The two brothers spoke at the same time again.

"You can talk!" The snapping turtle said in a rush.

"No, Raph, you can talk." The soft-shell said, curious as to what his older brother might have to say.

"Well, I–"

"What's goin' on here?"

Chapter Text

"What's goin' on here?"

The two brothers both looked towards the entrance of the kitchen, which was showcasing two more turtles in blue and orange bandanas.

"Uh, uhhhhh…I"

"I uh, we er…"

Both brothers stammered to explain themselves to no avail. So, they opted to change the topic. Or at least, Raphael did.

"W-What are you guys doing out here, anyway?" The snapper blurted out, desperate to change the topic.

"I woke up when you guys started yelling" the younger one, Michealangelo explained.

"Yeah, and then this doofus–"

"Heyyyyyyy!"

"Tore me from my beauty sleep to come and find out what was going on. So spill." The other one, Leonardo demanded. Following said command were nervous expressions on Raph and Donnie's faces. 

"It was nothing! We just got into a little dispute and…"

The snapper continued explaining desperately, trying to sugarcoat everything that had happened within the past hour or so, but the soft-shell wasn't so sure what to say. Should he side with his older brother and just forget that all of this ever happened? Or should he tell the truth, ruin his relationship with his older brother, but get him the help he needs? It didn't take the turtle too long to decide. 

"And then I decided to make some hot chocolate because, y'know, why not?--"

"No."

All three of the brothers turned to the soft-shell, confused.

"No?" The red eared slider asked. "No, what?"

"That's not what happened."

"Donnie!" The snapper whispered and Donatello could hear the desperation in his voice, but he didn't care. He knew his older brother needed help.

"Oh?" The red eared slider seemed intrigued to hear Donatello's side of the story. 

"Y'hear that, Mikey? Looks like we've got more than just. 'A little dispute.' on our hands. Spill, Donnie. What happened?"

"That's just the thing though. I don't know myself. Raph was screaming and that was what woke me up. I came out here and found him on the floor, on his knees, crying. I think he was having a panic attack…"

The soft-shell turned to look at his older brother and there was one emotion that seemed as though it would be visible to even those who lacked the sense of sight; betrayal. Still, the purple turtle couldn't find it within him to stop, even though he felt like he should.

"I ran over and started calling out his name to him, to which he gave no response until I called out to him for the sixth time. I asked him if he was alright and he stuttered something that I didn't quite catch, though I did hear him mention voices of some sort… Unknowing of what else to do, I… I gave him a hug. He seemed to enjoy it for a small fraction of a second before he tore himself from the hug, which knocked both of us down and he began hyperventilating, unable to say anything. I walked over to him, slowly, and gave the best attempt I could to convince him that I was me and that he was safe. I think it was then and only then in our whole interaction that he realized who he was talking to. We gave the hug another shot and, in an attempt to calm him down, I offered to make hot chocolate and then talk afterwards. I… couldn't reach the cabinet though, so Raph ended up making it instead. He made the hot chocolate, but then tried to walk away and avoid the conversation that we had planned to have, which I confronted him about… and that was about when the yelling started." 

The soft-shell looked at the two of his brothers that stood before him and waited for a reply, though nothing came out for a long few seconds.

"Damn…" the turtle in blue finally commented. Donatello assumed that everything was just starting to process in their minds, and the soft-shell couldn't blame them. It was a LOT to take in, especially all at once. He'd had the past hour or so to process all of this, they'd gotten the past five minutes, if that. Still, he was eager for a more-than-one-word-long reply, so he waited.

"Yeah…" the box turtle began. "I did hear something about Raph saying he was fine and you denying that and telling him that he needed help."

"Wait." The slider stopped his little brother's rant, seeming suddenly disturbed. "Did you say that to him? Like, those words exactly?"

The soft-shell nodded, skeptically. Why? What'd it matter?

"Ooooooooo…. Harsh… That's why he got so defensive. " The slider said, seeming like he was figuring something out.

"What? What do you mean?" The soft-shell said in unison with the youngest among the three. He didn't want to be left out in any news involving his older brother after what had gone down between the two.

"I mean, put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if someone that you felt like you needed to protect told you that you needed help just minutes after this someone saw you vulnerable once ? It was one time and you already began scolding the dude and telling him that he needed help. What if it was just a really off start to the day? And even if it wasn't, I know I wouldn't want to tell anyone what happened in fear that they'd react the same way. I wouldn't want to be called unstable by everyone around me."

"I never called him unstable!" The soft-shell said defensively.

"What else does 'you need help' mean?!"

"There's a fine line between telling someone that they could use a helping hand and that they're unstable!"

"Who are you to talk?! And where exactly is that line drawn? Because for all that we know Raph might've taken it that way!"

"Speaking of Raph…" the box turtle interrupted, catching the attention of the other two turtles, who then turned towards him.

"Where is he?"

…………

Where was he?

Chapter Text

Where was he?

"Wha?" The three questioned, all looking around frantically. Where'd he go?!

"I-I don't understand?!" The oldest of the newly-three brothers, Donnie announced. "He was just right here!" He said, gesturing to an area behind him.

"Alright, alright…" The slider began, getting the attention of both of his brothers. "Let's think for a minute. Where could he have gone and how would we find him?"

"Donnie!" Mikey called, shifting all attention to him. "Shouldn't you have, like, a tracker on him? You put a tracker in salami paper that one time! You can fix this!"

"Oh my God, Michael, you're right for once!" The soft-shell announced, earning the second "Heyyyyy!" from the box turtle that morning. "I can fix this! I can totally fix this! He said, totally not overconfident." The soft-shell claimed. "Both of you, follow me." He instructed, gesturing for the two to follow him. And so the three began walking.

"So, where we goin', Donnie D?" The slider questioned after a few seconds of walking. He was nosy like that, y'know? And besides where were they even going?

"'Nardo, we are going to the best place in this entire lair! MY LAB!"

The slider and the box turtle both let out a shocked "WHATTTTTT?!". The soft-shell was spending a lot more time with his family since the invasion but… letting them into his lab?! Prior to this morning the brothers would've said that it would never, EVER, happen. Look at them now.

"Really?!" The youngest turtle voiced his surprise. "You're letting us into your lab?!"

"Calm down, 'Angelo…" The soft-shell said in his usual emotionless tone, but, the slider had to admit that he was just as excited as the box turtle. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever been in his twins lab. "I don't think that I have much of a choice. Our older brother is out somewhere, alone. And we all know how he gets when he's alone. If saving our older brother means letting you bozos into my lab, then so be it. And this is also the quickest way you guys can get his location."

"Yeah, that makes sense… I guess… Even though I rarely understand anything that comes out of your mouth…" The slider joked, trying to give off a jokingly sly tone.

"Of course you can't, for I, Donatello, am far too advanced for you to ever understand." The soft-shell said, very matter-of-factly, getting laughter out of both the slider and the box turtle.

"And here we are!" The soft-shell announced. The other two watched as the tech-whiz entered passwords and such to bypass the security, both giving small chuckles when the system requested voice recognition and the thing that the soft-shell opted to say was "Bootyyyshaker9000".

Eventually, after an agonizingly long sequence of security methods, the turtles entered the laboratory and approached the large computer near the center of the room.

"So…" The box turtle began as the soft-shell entered his password. "What's the plan again?"

"I have a website on here that is synced to the trackers that I've placed on all of you. We are going to take a look at Raph's tracker, nail down the coordinates, and go there to save our older brother."

"Did…" Leonardo began, realizing something that he was sure when he voiced it that everyone in that room would feel stupid. "Did any of us think to check the house or Raph's room first?"

…

…

…

"Well…" the soft-shell began, searching for an excuse. "At least now we'll know for sure if he's in either of those locations…?" He said, trying to fool his little brothers that he had meant to go about the search this way, when both of them knew better.

"Wow." The youngest said, seemingly unable to squeeze any other reply out.

"Anywho…" the soft-shell started, trying to change the topic. "Here we are…" he said as he opened the desired website and "tracker #3", as labeled on the website.

"So?" The slider said as he began leaning over his older twin's chair. "Where does it say Raphie is?"

The soft-shells jaw dropped.

No. No, no, no, no, no… What? This doesn't make any sense! I-

"Donatello!" The slider called out for the second time.

"What's going on?" The box turtle finally approached, also leaning on the tech-whizs chair.

"O-Okay…..so…" The soft-shell cleared his throat and continued. "Either Raph found out that there was a tracker on him, found out where, and somehow managed to disable it, or…."

"Or?!" The other two prompted, suddenly intrigued and concerned.

"Or… he's in another dimension…."

… 

"Another what?"

Chapter Text

"Maybe… he did figure out that he was being tracked and disabled the tracker…?" The slider asked hopefully, though everyone knew that they all knew better.

"I doubt it." His twin said, stating the obvious, to which Mikey agreed by a frantic nod of his head. "Those trackers are incredibly advanced, some of the pieces of technology I'm most proud of. With an incredibly compact design and-"

"Yada, yada, yada, impossible-to-breach, yada, yada, I get it." the slider said mockingly, no surprise.

"Ugh. Scoff. "

The older twin was clearly offended, but the slider didn't really seem to care. He seemed very focused on coming up with a good plan to find their older brother, wherever he may be.

"Alright…." The slider began, apparently thinking for another short second before continuing. "Here's what we're gonna do… Donnie, you're gonna search in and around the lair. The whole sewer system is your domain. Call me and Mikey if you find anything."

"Yeah, okay… but what about the whole 'other dimension' thing" the soft-shell somewhat agreed, followed by a "he asked without a hint of reluctance…" Still, his cooperation took the other two brothers by surprise. They supposed that the oldest brother among the three was just as focused on finding their older brother as the other two...

"Don't worry about the other dimensions. I'll explain that in a second." The turtle in blue answered the question most previously asked. The slider then proceeded to instruct the youngest among the three, Mikey. "Mikey, you're gonna search the northern half of the city. No different from Donnie, call me and him if you find Raph" 

"Mhm!" The young turtle gave a strong nod and a small salute, signifying that he agreed with the plan… with less reluctance than the other…. "But…" he began, causing Leonardo to pause in his explanation. "What about you?" The turtle suddenly questioned.

"Don't worry, hermanõ. I was getting to that." The slider explained. He could tell that they were all incredibly eager to get to the search for their older brother, so he made the third portion of the explanation short and sweet. "As for me, I'll be searching the more southern area of the city, AKA, where the Hidden City is. I think that that place qualifies as an alternate dimension, so I'll check there. If none of us find Raph, then we'll-"

"-Reconvene here and discuss the next steps." The soft-shell cut off and completed the slider's thoughts.

"Hm. Precisely, Dee." The slider confirmed, looking at his twin with a look of gratitude. All four of the brothers were like four peas in a pod; practically inseparable, which gave them all a certain sense of predictability… as proven within the last few minutes...

"Alright! Doctor Delicate Touch says we get to it ASAP! Team on three!" The box turtle extended his hand, which the others placed their hands on top of, understanding the gesture..

"1… 2…3…!"

"TEAM!"

Chapter Text

Time jump back to Chapter 3: The Recap

He couldn't believe it. His little brother really ratted him out like that. Could he not tell that he didn't want the others to know? The last thing that he needed was to be told he "needed help" by people who had almost never seen him act like that before. Yes, y'know what, he'd admit it. He was having a rough morning. Maybe a little bit more than "rough", but it was nothing the turtle was convinced that he couldn't handle. He'd dealt with alien invasions before. This was fine. He was fine… right?

No. Deep down he knew. He wasn't fine. He wasn't angry at his little brother, he couldn't handle this, everything that he had just told himself had been a lie, he was overwhelmed and just didn't know what to do… he was conflicted . He… couldn't handle it….

His two youngest siblings were listening intently to Donatello's side of the story. Donatello was focused on reliving what had happened in the last hour or so… It was as good a time as he was gonna get.

The snapping turtle, despite his large silhouette, tried his hardest to sneak away from the conversation, seemingly successfully. His large silhouette, however, caused an extra amount of clumsiness, especially whenever he was trying to be sneaky, for some reason… He knocked over many things, yet managed to catch every single thing he dropped, even if just barely…

The snapping turtle made it to his room eventually and grabbed something that he swore he'd never use from the moment Splinter dropped it when they were tots… even now, he wasn't sure he should… but he needed someway to cope and with his conflicting emotions about his brothers and his desperate need to keep up his big brother persona, talking to the three wasn't an option. He then started scanning the room, looking for any escape that didn't include him seeing his little brothers… in his current state, he wasn't sure he wanted to, let alone how he'd react if they tried to interrogate him… 

Ultimately, the snapper decided to punch a hole through his wall… It was a noisy exit and he wasn't too sure how he'd repair it…but at the same time, thinking wasn't exactly his strong suit and he was in a time crunch. He was sure he could do it too, considering how he'd punched through iron bars before… 

The snapping turtle took a fighting stance and encased his left arm in his mystic power. The red turtle let out a crossover between a yell and roar as he punched an incredibly sizable hole through his wall, needed for escape, considering his large figure. He stopped and listened for a minute to see if he had alerted his little brothers of his departure. No footsteps…. Wow. They must have either been very absorbed in Donatello's story, it wasn't as loud as he had originally thought, or the kitchen walls were very, VERY thick. Whatever the case, it provided aid to the turtle's escape, so he took advantage. He exited the trailer and made his way around the maze that was the sewer system that he and his brothers called home…

Hm…

Home….

Home is where the heart is. Home is where you feel safe. Home is tranquil. Home is… home. These were all things that the turtle had either been told or had told someone else. He stood by all of these statements, but… going by these definitions, the sewer systems… weren't exactly home . Not at the moment, anyway. The snapper wasn't too sure he felt safe. Or tranquil . Or… secure… 

He was alone. He was afraid. He was surprised that Savage hadn't come out yet… although who knew how long that would look last? 

In fact, this alternate version of him was one of the first signs that the turtle wasn't…

  normal …

Not by society's standards, anyway. None of his brothers knew what was wrong or how to go about researching if their brother had any sort of mental illness, or how to tell which one. Donatello had attempted research a couple times, but each time came to the same incomplete conclusion. Raph supplied too many symptoms of too many various illnesses for them to determine which of the diagnoses fit him best. Part and parcel with that, no one in the family was a psychologist or a therapist of any kind, aside from the unofficial Dr. Feelings, therefore, no amount of research would supply any of them with enough confidence to officially (or as official as it could get, considering that none of them had any degree or authority in any field of this sort) diagnose Raph with any illness and try to find treatments for it. So, whenever in reference to his mental state, it's normally addressed as Raph's problems and nothing more, so… this change in demeanor towards his issues was unexpected. 

Sure, he didn't really ever show weakness, or, at least he tried not to, but whenever he had prior to this morning, normally Leo or Mikey would shrug it off with a "Eh, Raphs the oldest. He's the strongest. He can take care of it." Aside from one instance with savage that had happened almost a year ago at this point, this was the response to anything of this sort. So why was this time so different? Why was Donatello's reaction so… unlike any other that the turtle had ever received from anyone else? And… Why did it cause such an uncomfort within Raph? These were questions that the snapper would have to figure out later, as the turtle was nearing the manhole cover and exit to the sewer system.

He approached the ladder that led up to the sewer cover and grasped a bar with his left arm and began climbing the ladder.

Drip.

The turtle took a few glances around. What was that? The covers were normally pretty air-tight, unallowing any liquid to enter the sewers, unless through a grate, which the turtle was nowhere near. The turtle took a glance at the cover, which confirmed his thoughts. There was no sign of any leakage coming from the cover.

Drip.

The second drop had the turtle realize something. The liquid that was dripping, god knows what it was, was far too thick to be water. It was thicker than water, but thinner than slime. What was it?

Drip.

The turtle looked around again. Normally, something as simple as a dripping mysterious liquid wouldn't catch much attention of the turtle, but… this felt important.

Drip.

Once more, the turtle looked around… What the hell?! Where was this coming from?! The snapper looked around again, more rapidly this time. And then he saw it.

Drip.

Oh.

Drip.

Oh…

It was coming from the turtle's shoulder. He had reopened the wound from the invasion… blood… was dripping from the wound. No wonder. The wound didn't hurt, though… which was weird… Maybe it was adrenaline, maybe his shoulder was just numb… but whatever the case, it was a harsh sight… graphic… violent… but… nonetheless, the turtle continued climbing. He just wanted to get out of there. He needed some fresh air. He needed to think. And he was pretty sure he knew where he could go.

Raph lifted the manhole cover and crawled out slowly, letting out small grunts as the pain from his shoulder was finally starting to sink in. Still, he persevered with his idea. He'd maneuver his way through the New York alleyways and head to Huesos. The sun was starting to rise and humans would be out and about soon, so Huesos was the only real option where he felt like he could relax and not have to worry about being seen. Therefore, he began his journey.

The turtle leaped onto the roof of the closest building and began jumping roof-to-roof, taking the shortest route he knew to Huesos. The pain in his shoulder was getting worse by the second, though and the fatigue of not getting enough sleep was finally beginning to take its effect. The snapper was still going to try his hardest to make it to Huesos. He figured there he could relax, maybe even go to sleep for a while. Would Hueso have bandages? The turtle sure hoped so because his shoulder felt like it was on fire. He-

" Oof! "

.

And for the one millionth time in his life, he hadn't been paying attention while roofing and he slammed into a wall… terrific… As if he wasn't in enough pain already… Instead of trying to save himself, the turtle just let himself slide down the wall into the alleyway between the building he had just leapt off of and the building he failed to land on.

The turtle fell onto the concrete with a small grunt and, instead of trying to stand, he decided to lay there for a moment. His shoulder hurt… the cracks on his arm from assisting Mikey were starting to reopen, his right eye was swollen, and he was fatigued…

…

His eyelids were heavy…

…

He wondered…

Could he…

Take a quick nap…

Right here..?

No.

He was in an alleyway…

But he was also in New York City…

People used the alleyways as shortcuts all of the time…

He wasn't safe here….

Reluctantly, the turtle stood, not wanting to do anything but sleep… He knew he couldn't, though, so, he looked around and-

Wait.

”HAHAHAH!"

The turtle let out a very, VERY, needed laugh. Upon looking around he realized he was already in Huesos alleyway! And he would've taken a nap if he hadn't come to his senses… haha… Hilarious….

The snapper approached the graffiti that marked where the portal to the Yokai Pizza Place lay and began waving around his hand which now had somewhat of some blue mystic energy around it. For some reason, the turtle had thought that it'd be a good idea to use his injured arm to try and open the portal… Yeah, big surprise, before he could finish opening the portal a shock of pain went up his arm. He pulled his arm away immediately and hunched over for a small minute, holding his arm. After a minute or two of recovery, the turtle stood up straight and decided to try again, but with his other arm, which worked out much better. He opened the portal and stepped inside, not all that surprised to see the pizza place almost empty aside from one or two customers… After all it was only…

Only…

What time was it?

The snapper patted himself for his phone, unsure if he had left it in his room or not. Eventually he found it and pulled it out to check the time…

5:24.

Huh. Almost two hours since he had woken up. The turtle wasn't sure if they had felt like the longest or the shortest two hours of his life… Well… he was sure that however long or short the rest of the day felt would answer his question.

"Raphael?"

"Huh?"

The turtle was pulled out of his train of thought when he heard the owner of the place himself, Senõr Hueso, call out to him.

"Oh, uh, Hey, Hueso! Sorry for just barging in unannounced…"

"At least you have better manners than the others…"

The skeleton took an uncomfortably long moment to study Raphael, looking him up and down before finally saying something else.

"Ay, mi Amigo, you've seen better days… here, come to my office, let me see what I can do for you…" 

The snapping turtle was caught off guard as he was ushered to the bone man's office. He knew he had seen better days, but was it really that visible? He had no idea.

"Actually, uh …" the snapping turtle prompted, stopping Hueso in his tracks.

"Hm? What is it that you need?"

"Uh, can I head to the bathroom first?"

"Oh, yes, yes. Do you know your way to my office?"

"Uh, yeah." No…

"Okay, I will wait for you there. Clean that wound while you're in there, okay?"

"Yeah, uh… Okay."

"Alright. Adios, amigo."

"Bye."

The snapper stood and watched as the skeleton continued his way to his office. In all honesty, the turtle didn't have to use the bathroom. But, there were some other things that he had wanted to check out…

—------;

"Damn." No wonder Hueso reacted that way.

The turtle was looking at himself in the mirror, studying himself the same way Hueso had. The wound on his shoulder looked bad . The cracks in his arm were becoming visible as well, not to mention his swollen eye. In the same general area there were tear stains on his bandana, as well as eyebags somehow visible through the fabric. In all honesty, though, he felt as bad as he looked. He could barely keep his eyes open and his arm was going numb. Whether it be due to blood loss, nerve damage, or other, he wasn't sure. He was ready to pass out though. He refused the thought just as another one came into his head.

I guess… 

The turtle reached into a small fanny pack he had on him and pulled out a lighter, as well as the item that Splinter had dropped when they were kids…

A pack of cigarettes…

The turtle eyed the pack for a moment and recalled how he had gone about becoming the keeper of it…

………………………………………………………………

"Raph! Raph!" The small red eared slider called in search of his older brother's attention.

"Yeah?" The snapper prompted his four year old brother. "What is it?"

”Look at what I saw Dada drop!" The slider announced proudly, holding up a small green box, unknowing of what it contained.

" What?! " The snapper yelled, snatching the box out of his little brother's grasp. "You saw dad drop this?! Are you sure?!" As a five year old, the child's understanding of cigarettes and smoking were limited, but if there was one thing that he knew, it was that they were bad…

"Uh… yeah?" The slider replied, clearly confused. "Is that bad?"

"I… yes. It is very bad. Never use these. Not when you're older, not now. If you ever see these with anyone else ever again, let me know. Promise?" The snapper instructed, desperate for this not to influence his little brother in any way.

"Promise." The slider replied, unsure of why these were so bad but not wanting to push his luck with his older brother.

"Alright. Now, go play." The snapping turtle said, quite honestly wanting to forget that this ever happened as he watched his small brother scurry off to play.

……………………………………………………………………….

Raph sat in remembrance of this event for a second before opening the pack and taking out a cigarette, lucky that the pack hadn't been opened prior or the cigarettes would've expired. Skimming over this thought, the turtle, not wanting to think about what he was doing, lit the cigarette, placed it in his mouth, and inhaled.

He coughed.

No surprise, it happens to almost all first-timers. Still, he didn't stop. It didn't feel good, per se, but it was distracting. And at the time, that was really all that he wanted.

"Well, what do we have here?"

…

Leo.

Chapter Text

The slider watched as his brothers dispersed upon the completion of the small handshake. Donnie grabbed his Bo and called upon his battle shell and a few other complex pieces of technology that Leo didn't quite recognize or understand. Mikey left through the nearest exit, wasting no time either.

Welp. Guess there's no use sitting here.

Leo unsheathed his sword, (in a rather smooth motion if he did say so himself) which he had grabbed when he was rudely awoken by a worried Mikey.

He held the sword out in front of him for a split second before slashing the air and forming a sizable portal of a blue color. The edges swirled in a circle as he stepped through it. He made the portal to take him straight to Huesos Alleyway. Why walk when you can make literal PORTALS?!

"Alright, big daddy, you in there?" The turtle asked as he approached the graffiti, though he knew his brother couldn't hear him, even if he was in there. Nonetheless, he approached the graffiti and, overcoming a small bit of self-doubt, he began waving his hand in front of the graffiti and…

"HAH! I DID IT!"

The slider celebrated for a small moment. Despite being the one with teleportation and portal powers, he had to admit that he sucked at opening interdimensional gateways. But now, at least, it seemed, he was getting better.

The turtle walked into the Yokai Pizza Place triumphantly, not entirely calm from the whole opening-an-interdimensional-doorway-for-the-first-time thing. Taking a quick glance around, aside from a few early-coming customers eating pizza for breakfast. (AKA, the best breakfast), there was no one in the lobby.

"Senor Hueso? Mi amor? Raph?" The turtle called out. He wasn't sure if he was expecting a reply from Raph, but he did receive one from Hueso.

"In my office, amigo!" The bone man called.

"Oh. Okay, I'm coming!" The turtle called. He began his way to Huesos office.

Y'know, funny story, he was actually pretty sure that he was the only one who knew their way to his office. Sure, the others had heard of it, but he didn't think that the others really even knew where it was, let alone how to get there.

He liked to think that he had a special relationship with Hueso. A platonic relationship. He'd been on many one-on-one hidden city adventures with Hueso. Granted, most of the time he dragged Hueso along for the ride, but still. The two were friends. And Leo knew that despite how much the bone-man didn't want to admit it, it was true.

"Knock knock!" The turtle called as he approached the office door. For some reason, saying the words knock knock instead of actually knocking just made sense, you know? And also it just seemed like a Leo-thing to do.

"You couldn't just knock regularly? Estupido… " The bone man said as he opened the door, looking unimpressed as ever.

"That's not how the joke goes!" The slider complained. "You're supposed to say 'who's there'."

"Ay, shush" the bone man said as he let the turtle inside.

"Are you here for Raph?" The bone-man asked as the two sat down. "Is this where you four agreed upon meeting?"

"Uh…no…?" The slider replied, confused. Did that mean that Raph was here? "Is he here?"

"Maybe. Though if you're not here for him, what does it matter?" The bone-man asked, curious for more information. How ironic that two of the brothers would end up here if not intentionally.

"Well…" the slider began. "I am here for him… kinda… " he continued, by chance making this more complicated than it needed to be. "Me, Mikey and Donnie are all looking for him."

"Hm? Why?" Hueso questioned. And more importantly, why had Raph not brought this up to him when they had talked earlier?

"Well… according to DonDon, he had somewhat of a panic attack this morning…like… a really, reall y bad one and then he kinda just… disappeared on us." The slider said. He waited for a response, but when one didn't come, he decided to more formally conclude his statement. "We've been looking for him ever since."

There was still some silence before Hueso finally said something in reply. "How long ago was this, Leonardo?" Was what he had asked.

"Not too long ago…" the slider explained, looking at his phone for the time. "An hour ago? 30 minutes?" The slider decided, despite not actually knowing when they realized Raph had gone missing.

"Well. Raphael is in the bathroom. I told him to come here when he was done, as he said he knew his way. You may wait here for him, or, if you decide, you may go and check up on him. I am not his brother, so I can not tell you what he needs. But I will encourage you to go and talk with him. Privately." 

The bone-man secretly encouraged the slider to check on his big brother. He was beginning to take a while and, quite ironically, the owner was getting a tad bit worried with Raphael's injuries, plus this new knowledge that the bone-man had gained from Leonardo. 

Hueso could often tell that the poor turtle had way too much weight on his shoulders. Especially for a seventeen year old. Despite Leonardo being the leader now (yes, Hueso was caught up with the four.) Raphael still had that burden on his shoulders. He would often try to listen to Leo's plans, but would end up having to come up with one on the spot after Leo's had failed. The only reason Hueso knew this was because it had happened in front of his eyes once. Some low-class lakeys of Big Mama had tried to infiltrate the Yokai Pizza Place and Leo came up with the plan to "slash'n'bash" them, severely underestimating them.

They were very skilled.

Raph had to come up with a plan mid-fight, convince Leo to listen, and get the rest on board. And that was simply a part of it. Hueso could tell he had way much to deal with at such a young age and-

"Yeah…" Leo finally says, interrupting Huesos train of thought, something that he wasn't too mad at. "I think I will go and check on him. Someone’s gotta, right?" The turtle in blue added slyly as he stood, heading for the door. He knew that Hueso was right. And honestly, Leo did want to talk to Raph. He was worried as HELL. Not because Raph had never acted like this before and it was new to him, no. Simply because he had never acted like this before. All of those pent up emotions from… forever ago were all finally starting to show themselves. And… he was worried.

"Thanks, Hueso." Leo admitted. He was incredibly thankful that Raph was here instead of some sort of dimension that none of them had ever been to before. The last thing that they needed was Mikey trying to use his "mystic hands" again. That's right, he had heard all about it.

"Alright, mi amigo. Adios." Hueso said as he shooed the turtle away in his usual manner.

"Adios, Mi amigo! Que nos volvamos a encontrar!" (Bye, my friend! May we meet again! Sorry if this is off, this was google translate.) The turtle announced as he opened the door and left. He began his way to the bathroom, trying to hurry, even if just a little. He decided against calling the others and letting them know that he found Raph. He suspected that having three people interrogate him was the last thing that he had needed.

Eventually, the turtle arrived at the bathroom, and paused at the door. Should he just call the other two? The slider decided that he should, he didn't want them to think that none of them had found anything. The turtle pulled out his phone, and selected the contact titled "NeRd". The phone began ringing as the turtle began giggling to himself about the contact name. It was basic, but it was kinda funny.

"Hello, you are conversing with Donatello."

"Heya, Donnie D!" The slider greeted, grinning at the familiarity of the strange version of hello.

"Oh, Leonardo. Did you find Raph?" The soft-shell asked, with a subtle, yet noticeable change in tone.

"Yes Sir, I did." The slider announced proudly. "Hit Mikey up and let 'im know for me, will ya? We're in the hidden city." The slider said, un-admittedly getting more worried by the second.

"Yeah, we'll both be there in 30, tops." Donatello confirmed, agreeing to call the youngest and inform them of the situation. 

"Alright, sweet. See you later, mi hermanõs! Love you~!" The slider said, dragging out the words "love you" the exact way that he knew Donnie hated.

" Heavy sigh… " the soft-shell replied, clearly annoyed. "I love you too."

"GASP, DID YOU JUST SAY IT BACK-"

Click

….

The slider pulled his phone down from his face, still incredibly surprised. You have no idea how rare it is for Donnie to admit any feelings about a family member, let alone tell them that he loves them. It was just really exciting, alright?!

Anyway, the turtle began collecting himself, took a deep breath in, and opened the door.

And he didn't think today could get any more surprising.

He silently processed the scene in front of him, unable to do anymore than that and also unwilling to draw any attention to himself either. His oldest, most uptight of them all, the one who’d scold them for their language if they had ever dared to curse in front of him was… smoking….

HA! Leo has caught him red-handed! Oh, just think of all the blackmailing possibilities! But… At the same time… the slider was no mental health expert, but he could piece together that the fact the Raph had turned to smoking instead of talking was not a good sign. How long had he been doing this?! Still, the slider felt the need to make his "entrance" witty, just like he always did.

"Well, what do we have here?"

And all the turtle saw written on his older brother's face was 

Oh shit.

Chapter Text

Donatello wasted no time. Not ever, and especially not now.

As soon as the hands-in-the-middle activity concluded, the soft-shell grabbed his tech-bō and clicked a small button, calling upon his Battle Shell, Shelldon, and a few other things. He equipped himself with  his battle shell and looked around for a small bit, noticing that both of his brothers had left. He was ready to get to work.

"Shelldon, I need you to upload the security footage from the cameras I installed in the sewer systems, then send them to me." The turtle instructed. After the whole…. Krang thing… Donatello decided that it’d be a good idea to install security cameras and protocols, to which the rest agreed.

"Totally, dude!" Shelldon responded to his creator obediently, flipping Donnie back into reality just as he had started to slip out of it, watching as Shelldon flew over to the primary computer and began downloading footage files.

“Meanwhile…” The soft-shell began, turning towards the lab exit. “I’m gonna take a brief look around the house. Send me a notification, too.” The soft-shell finished, clicking the large, red button next to the piece of metal that sufficed as a door to the soft-shell’s Lab.

“Already on it, broseph!” Shelldon replied, beginning the downloading process of the footage. The soft-shell turned around for a small moment, taking a small glance at the drone before facing front again, and exiting through the newly opened door.

“If anything, I suppose the most logical place to begin my search would be Raph’s room…” The purple turtle silently mumbled to himself after closing his lab door and beginning to walk to his newly decided destination; his older brother’s room. 

Y’know… now that he thought about it… he hadn’t been in Raph’s room in forever… He’d hang out with Mikey occasionally, helping him come up with different concepts for drawings and paintings and occasionally he’d get dragged into Leo’s room for a turtle pile, or a binge of Jupiter Jim comics, but never Raph’s.

And, oh boy, had it changed.

Its layout was pretty much what Donnie remembered. A mattress on the floor on the far end of the room, lying horizontally with a mountain of stuffed animals on top, with a dark-wood dresser facing the left wall next to the mattress. On the turtle’s left was a treadmill with a few weights next to it, a lot of which were heavier than Donnie could dream of being able to lift. In fact, it didn't actually appear that different now that he was no longer focused on the MASSIVE HOLE IN THE WALL. It was about Raph’s height and very rough around the edges which led Donnie to the conclusion that Raph either plowed through the wall to escape, or he used his mystic powers to punch a hole through the wall, both of which would have been incredibly noisy. How had he nor any of his brothers heard it? Whatever, right now, this was an awesome lead as to where Raph could’ve gone. The turtle began walking a little bit further into the room, examining his surroundings as he approached the mattress, which the hole sat right above, readying himself to-

“Purple?”

…

Splinter?

The turtle turned around slowly, praying that he was wrong in his assumption as to who stood in the room with him, not wanting to answer any potential questions that his father may have. Like, for example, what he was doing in Raph’s room, where the others had gone, and why there’s a MASSIVE HOLE IN THE WALL.

“Hello… Papa.” The soft-shell said hesitantly once he had completely turned around, confirming his fears. The look of confusion on Splinter’s face was one that seemed to be battling with shock and worry. Hah, Hilarious. The rat that had been too focused on himself to focus on his sons at all when they were tots, acting worried about them.

No, Donnie, Don’t. Not now.

The soft-shell scolded himself for a little before refocusing on his… “Father” that stood before him. He didn’t need to distract himself from the task at hand, which right now was finishing this conversation with Splinter as quickly as possible and returning to the search for his older brother.

“Purple, What happened here? Where are your brothers?” The rat asked, seemingly on cue as he looked around, taking in the wall debris falling from a massive hole next to his eldest son's mattress.

“I’m not sure. I woke up and it was like this.” Donatello lied, refusing to tell his father anything. It was one thing to keep stuff like this from his brothers, it was another when it came to his father. The soft-shell never thought that his father needed, much less deserved to know personal details like this about the four. He understood that Splinter was trying to build a good relationship with his sons, but putting a band-aid on the gaping wound that was the relationship that they had was simply not going to help. The rat would need to make amends with the four individually, especially Raph. Donnie refused to completely forgive him until he stopped acting like a child and dwelling in his own sorrows, and puckered up and began caring for the four like a good parent was supposed to. It never should have been Raph having to be the parent of the household. It was… stupid. It made the soft-shell angry, even if he never admitted it.

“Hm.” Splinter said, seeming like he could hear Donnie’s thoughts- oh. He… had fallen for the lie. Or at least accepted it. “Have you tried calling any of your brothers?”

“Yeah. I’ve called Leo and Mikey. We’re all looking for Raph right now.” The tech-whiz decided that this small sliver of information wasn’t anything that the rat would be able to bounce anything much off of.

“Are any of you aware of when he disappeared? Or when he made that hole?” The rat asked. The soft-shell was starting to get a little tired of all these damn questions… Even so, he answered them, trying to hide the small amount of annoyance that was welding within him. 

“I doubt that any of us know for sure, but maybe… around 45 minutes ago?” Donnie said, ready for his dad to leave him alone, just like he had done the rest of his life. Except back then, he had Raph, and he wanted his father. Now, neither of those were true.

What was he even doing? Standing here, talking with the same man that, once the soft-shell discovered how screwed up he was, wanted nothing to with. Allowing him to distract from what actually mattered in this moment; Finding Raph. Realizing this, the turtle turned back around to face the wall, and began walking.

“Purple?” The rat began, to which the turtle showed no response as he climbed on top of the mattress, nearing the hole in the wall. “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go look for Raph. I’ll see if I can find any hints as to where he might’ve gone. Gotta call ‘Nardo and ‘Angelo if I find anything.” He answered honestly, not wanting to waste his time with lies that the rat would probably forget after passing out in front of the TV.

“Would you mind if I came with you?” Splinter asked.

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, I would mind. You’re not coming.” The turtle had had enough of Splinter pretending that he cared about them. He was tired of it. And even worse, it seemed like he was the only one that even had any idea that he wasn't being genuine. If he was, he sucked ass at showing it. 

“Why not?” The rat asked, confused. He was simply worried for his eldest and wanted to assist his son in ensuring the eldest’s safety. What was so wrong with that?

“Oh, don’t play dumb.” The soft-shell said, ready to confront his father as he turned around to face the rat again. He was fed up. He… needed to confront his father. “Just admit it. You don’t really care about us. You’re just pretending to care about us to make yourself feel better.”

“Purple, I-”

“No, don’t try to deny it! My brothers may fall for it, but I know better.” The soft-shell… knew… that this was true. It had to be. Somehow, his brothers always fell for their fathers acts, but he knew better. He didn’t even really understand how they fell for it. He had been wanting to talk to Raph about it for a while, knowing that Mikey would say something like “That’s not true. He does care about us and…” and then Donnie would end up in a therapy session with Dr. Feelings. Of course, talking to Leo wasn't much of an option either, considering that despite how much they could read each other, with, y'know, being twins and all, the soft-shell knew that his twin would end up cracking jokes and not taking anything seriously.

"Purple… Is that really how you feel?" The rat had no idea… he had known that he should've been so much more present in his son's lives, but he was making an effort now, wasn't he? That had to count for something, right?  And the rat had a valid excuse for his absence. It was an incredibly rough time in his life, when his sons had come to life. The transition from superstar to sewer rat was not one that much people had to go through, let alone cope with. And besides, Splinter had Raph. He could count on his son like he could count on his TV during his lazy days. The snapper was the oldest, and proved to be an amazing parent, so, as far as Splinter was concerned, he had made the right decision leaving all of the parenting to the eldest. And he was stepping up now. He could call that a good decision.

"Father… are you kidding me?" The soft-shell began, appalled at the question his dad had just asked. "Is ThAt ReAlLy HoW yOu FeEl?" No. He just said that for the fun of it, OF COURSE HE FELT THAT WAY. "You abandoned us. You left us when we were toddlers. You left Raph on his own to parent at the age of 4. HE WAS FUCKING FOUR, SPLINTER." The turtle was on the verge of tears. He was frustrated. Frustrated like he had never been before. More frustrated than when Mikey had broke his first ever invention. More frustrated than when Leo pulled out the wrong tooth. More frustrated than when Raph had forced him out of his lab, especially when he was almost done with his project. He'd never been so angry. He knew that Splinter was just a selfish being who only cared for himself. He was frustrated that he was letting this failure of a father distract him from what actually mattered, finding Raph. 

"I don't have time for this right now." The soft-shell declared, well aware that this was true. He needed to go. Not only for Raph at this point, but for him. He was aggravated, so much, he realized, that he was on the verge of a panic attack. He needed to get out of there. He turned back to the hole in the wall, just as he received the notification on his wrist tablet that Shelldon had sent him the footage, almost as if the universe was telling him to get a move on.

"Purple!" The rat said, watching as his second eldest exited through the hole above the mattress, which his eldest slept on. He'd… had no idea… did… the rest feel this way too? He… couldn't believe it. He had abandoned his children… hadn't he? He… did leave Red alone to do the parenting… he left him. He left… all of them. He was…. Speechless.

—----

Donnie… didn't know how he felt. On one hand, it had been nerve wracking and panic inducing for him to talk to his father like that, but on the other, it felt… right. Freeing. Like it was bound to happen. Nonetheless, he was a little shaky… The turtle took a deep breath in, practicing a few breathing exercises Raph had taught him when he'd had his first attack. Unsurprisingly, with his sensory sensitivity, the soft-shell had the mental stigma the worst. It wasn't uncommon for the turtle freak out and panic at even the slightest touch, or noise, or emotion if unexpected. He had felt stupid for it, back then. It felt as though he was always just being… a wuss. It took years of his brothers convincing him that he couldn't control it and that it wasn't his fault for it to finally make it's way through the turtle's thick skull. Speaking of his brothers, he should probably watch that footage that Shelldon had sent him. 

The turtle took a seat, leaning against the wall of the sewers. He estimated that he was at least far enough for Splinter to be to lazy to come out and find him. He'd probably draw the consclusion that I'm not worth the trouble, anyway. The soft-shell began, pushing away the topic of Splinter and opening up the footage files that Shelldon had sent him.

"Alright, Raph-a-doodle, let's see what exactly went down…" The soft-shell began, also beginning the footage. He decided starting at about 4:00 AM seemed appropriate, assuming that they had been talking for about an hour before… the yelling started….

He stopped, not wanting to think about the argument that had gone down with him and his brother… Though it had probably been at least an hour since they spoke, or, rather, yelled… it felt like just minutes ago…

The soft-shell seized his thoughts, watching intently as he saw Raph enter his room over the footage. 

What are you up to, ya big baby…?

The purple turtle watched as his big brother opened up a drawer in his dresser and rummaged through it for a small moment, confusing the soft-shell. Was he looking for something? What? 

The soft-shell wished he hadn't asked.

He couldn't believe it. There was no way… right? His older brother wouldn't do such a thing, right? 

The soft-shell didn't want to believe it. He rewinded the footage over and over, zooming in on the box his brother so carelessly took out of his drawer, hoping that he was viewing the world wrong, that there was something wrong with his eyesight, because… if there wasn't, then that meant that… Raph had been smoking. Where was he even getting it from?! He was underage, who could possibly be unstable enough to sell cigarettes to a seventeen year old?! He sighed, trying to stop any further speculation…  When… No, If they find Raph, he'd just ask him. Raph wasn't a bad liar, but he wasn't the greatest. Donatello knew that if he tried, he'd be able to tell if his older brother was lying or not. So he decided to wait to wrack his brain for… anything, really…

Puckering up and trying to pull himself together, the soft-shell unpaused the footage, desperate to get any clues as to where his older brother could've gone. If he had to stray from Leo's plan to find him, so be it.

He watched as his older brother proceeded to look around the room.

Is he looking for an exit?

The soft-shell wondered. He continued watching in silence as he watched his brother charge up his arm with mystic and-

Wait- RAPH, NO-

And his brother punched the wall, creating the massive hole through which the soft-shell had exited just a little bit ago. That's not what worried the tech-whiz though, as he had noticed that his brother had used his left arm to punch the hole, AKA, the arm with the DEEP ASS GASH IN HIS SHOULDER. The soft-shell took a glance through the screen at Raph's shoulder to realize that Raph had funfucking reopened the damn cut in his shoulder-

L

God DAMMIT Raph, why do you always make things so difficult?!?!

The soft-shell sped up the footage slightly, wanting to get a move on already. He switched cameras as the snapper exited through the hole in the wall.

Tunnel…. 218.

The soft shell noticed, remembering the sewer system layout that he had tried so hard to etch into his mind. He paused the footage video and stood, ready to actually begin his part of the search.

The turtle began walking, keeping an eye out for tunnel 218, though he was pretty sure he already knew exactly where it was. It wasn't too far, maybe a few street blocks away, so the soft-shell had a little bit of time to think. How…. Was Raph, his older brother, the one that held a strict NO- cursing policy for himself and everyone around… smoking ?! He… it was simply impossible! Not… feasable! There was no way. Was the one thought that went through the soft-shells head that seemed right, simply because nothing else did. None of it. It…

He sighed.

What was he doing? As much as he didn't want to believe it, he knew what he saw… Why was he even getting so worked up about it?! Raph… was underage, but he was also seventeen. The oldest among the four. He was turning eighteen in only a few months. He could make his own decisions… and if that was one of them… No. He couldn't. His brother wasn't the smoking type. Never. There was something seriously wrong. It didn't add up.

The soft-shell cut himself off in his thought, looking at the lable of the tunnel that stood before him.

218.

The soft-shell entered the tunnel and walked for a small bit before coming face-to-face with a ladder, leading up to one of the many manhole cover exits. This one was the closest to the hole that Raph had punched through the wall… he really had been in a rush to get out of there, huh? The soft-shell knew that it wasn't his job to check out anywhere above the sewers, and despite the reluctance that still lingered within him, he refused to climb the ladder. The turtle instead looked around. For what? No idea. Any potential sign or clue or just anything… and he saw blood. Dried blood next to the first step of the ladder. There were multiple small dots of the substance not too far from one another, which only worried the soft-shell more… Why, you may ask, because that meant that blood was dripping… presumably from the wound that his fool of an older brother reopened. He loved his brother, but damn. He could be reckless. Always, just to protect his little siblings… though it never seemed like he had the common sense to protect himself… dumb-dumb…

" You are receiving a phone ca- "

"WHA- oh."

The soft-shell pulled his carefully engineered phone out of his pocket, and answered immediately, not even glancing at the contact name, adamant that it probably wasn't anything important.

"Hello, you are conversing with Donatello."

"Heya, Donnie D!" 

The voice of his twin was like music to his ears. He hadn't realized it until now, but he had been alone for a few hours now… he misses his brothers… but he wasn't going to say that.

"Oh, Leonardo." He expressed a surprise that had just to hit him. If 'Nardo was calling, then did that mean…. 

"Did you find Raph?" The soft-shell asked, trying not to sound too hopeful when, in all actuality, he was practically bouncing on the alls of his feet.

"Yes, sir, I did!" The slider announced proudly from the other side while complete relief washed over Donatello. "Hit Mikey up and let 'im know, Will ya? We're in the hidden city." Leo requested, to which the soft-shell shell have an affirmative nod, as if his twin could actually see him.

"Yeah, we'll both be there in 30, tops." The soft-shell said giving verbal confirmation that he'd agreed to call the baby among the three.

"Alright, sweet! See you later mi hermanõs! Love you~!"

Of course he was gonna say it like that. The one way that Leo decides to say love you had to be the one way he hated. Still… under the circumstances… it didn't feel right not to say it back… He was gonna regret this…

" Heavy sigh… " the soft-shell began, making sure his twin knew how annoyed he was. Still, he irked out the "I love you" part, preparing himself for the-

"GASP, DID YOU JUST SAY IT BA-"

Click.

The soft-shell hung up before his twin could finish his sentence, not wanting to put up with the teasing that definitely would've arrived if he had stood on the phone much longer.

Well…. He began thinking…. Better text Mikey. The soft-shell decided as he selected the contact named "Dumb-Dumb #3."

Chapter Text

"1, 2, 3… TEAM!"

The box turtle was the last to pull his hand away, but was one of the first to leave. As soon as his older brothers pulled their hands away, he got to work. The orange turtle darted out of the Lab and sprung for the closest exit out of the lair, dashing through the sewer tunnels as fast as he could manage without, y'know, falling… 

The box turtle reached a ladder and began climbing, faster than he thought he'd ever moved before. Despite only being assigned one half of the city, he knew that there was still a lot to search. He'd have to search every building, alleyway, park, and tourist attraction he could find. And that was a lot.

The box-turtle opened the manhole cover and jumped out, placing the manhole cover back gently. He looked around…. Where was he even going to start? He weighed the options in his head, but thinking was never exactly the turtles strong suit. He stood there for a moment.

He sat there for a moment.

He layed there for a moment.

He… contorted there for a moment.

And his stomach rumbled.

"Ugh, man…" The small turtle began, holding his newly-rumbling tummy and sitting up. Feeling a little selfish, the small turtle remembered that he hadn't really eaten anything since he woke up, and having the largest appetite among the three, despite his small figure, he was really hungry… but he didn't actually want to go get anything to eat. He needed to focus on finding his older brother. He had never heard Raph yell like that before… he knew that there was something seriously wrong. And, as Dr. Feelings, it was up to him to get to the bottom of it. 

It had been his job to make Leo feel better mentally, after, y'know, the Krang… help him… stop thinking about the prison dimension and… help get rid of the guilt that he felt for losing the key initially…. Mikey knew that Raph knew about it, but he also knew that Raph had his own battles to fight, so he tried not to bother him about it, despite the numerous times Raph was focusing on everyone but himself. Mikey had also at least tried to get Donnie to eat or sleep when he buried himself in his work after the Krang, and with the help from Raph, managed to get him on a normal-ish sleeping and eating schedule. Then, it was his turn. Working on physical therapy to get his arms to stop shaking and a few talks with Raph and Draxum now and again to work on his mental state. And they both worked! His arms still had their moments… and… so did he, but he was in much better condition now that he was initially. Now, it was Raph's turn. The oldest had been so focused on Mikey and… everyone else… that he was never focused enough on himself. Now, he had all the attention in the world on him, even if he wasn't there to see it…

Speaking of which, Mikey should probably get to it. The box-turtle rose, standing again and thinking for a small moment. Where should I start looking-

Grumble

Lightbulbbbb!

"I could start at Mikey Tony Lou's pizza! Get a little searching done, and hopefully eat sumthin…" The box turtle said aloud, proud of himself for coming up with the idea, which he was sure would knock out two birds with one stone! So, he began on his way, jumping up a fire escape on what he assumed was an apartment building and began running across the buildings, keeping an eye out for the multi-manager run pizzaria. It was on the outskirts of the town, he knew that much, but he couldn’t actually remember where it was. They’d been going to Hueso’s place for months now, and-

Oh, there it is, how convenient?

The turtle stopped on the roof of another skyscraper and looked to the left, seeing Mike Tony Lou’s. He took a deep breath through his nose and salivated just a small bit at the scent of pizza… though he's sure he would’ve done the same thing with any other food, considering how hungry he was.

The turtle leapt across a few other buildings so that he was on the building right across the back wall of the family pizzeria. The box turtle leapt down into the alleyway, hoping to sneak into the kitchen from the back to see if he could find Raph… and a few forgotten slices of pizza. He began approaching the back door, taking a quick glance through the window to see if-

Wait.

Was that…

“APRIL AND SUNITA!” The box turtle shouted at the top of lungs, stopping in his tracks and running up to the window, waving frantically like a mad-turtle. “HEY, APRIL! APRIL! IT’S MIKEY, YOUR LITTLE BROTHER! SUNITA! JELLY GIRL! LOOK!”

A minute or two of this shouting led Mikey to believing that simply texting his friends would be more efficient.

-Heya, April! Look out the back window!

The box turtle then watched his friend for a small moment before seeing her pull out her phone and read the text. She then turned towards the window and her eyes went WIDE. Like, Mikey-thought-they-were-gonna-jump-out-of-their-sockets-wide! The teenage girl then pulled her phone close to her face and began vigorously typing, almost lightning fast.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!-

-It’s an emergency! Me and the others need your help!

If this emergency consists of Leo’s portals acting up or something, I want no part in it.-

-No, It’s about Raph! Seriously! We need your help! Can ya come here?

-And bring some pizza… I’m kinda hungry…

-That’s not the emergency, I swear!

Alr, gimme a sec, gotta pay. Is it chill if Sunita comes?

-Uhm, Yeah?

And with that, the box turtle sat and waited, watching as April and her secretly-mutant-friend stood and began walking to the register with a leftover box of pizza in hand. He waited as he watched them pay and saw them exit through the front door, then listening for footsteps to see if they were coming, which they were.

The box turtle turned to the left to find April and Sunita standing there, both with as much sass as normal. April was standing, leaning on one foot more than the other and one hand on her hip, the other carrying the pizza box like a waitress.

“And I’m playing delivery boy for what?” She asked, not dropping the sass as she sauntered over to Mikey handing him the pizza box, which he ate happily from.

“Thanks, April!” He said between bites, sitting down on the concrete as he ate.

“No problem, Mikey.” She said, sitting down next to his right. “You said there was an emergency? Why're you out here by yourself? And so early in the morning?” She asked as Sunita sat next to her, both equally concerned.

“I-... Wait… What’re you guys doing eating pizza at like, five in the morning?” Mikey asked, spewing small pizza bits everywhere. Why were they up?

“Me and April pulled an all-nighter…” Sunita said from Aprils right, which April continued.

“Yeah, had a HUGE amount a’ homework for some social studies teacher. Why do I even need to know about world war 1?! Is he forgetting about the fact that the world was nearly taken over like, 2 months ago?! Why aren’t we learning about that?!” She complained obnoxiously, to which Mikey gave a chuckle. He… was going to pretend like she meant all of that as a joke.

“You guys need sleep!” He said, knowing full-well that they did, in fact, need sleep.

“Ah, nah, don’t worry ‘bout it!” April said, whose statement was continued by Sunita.

“Yeah, we had a sleepover the other night. Pulled an all-nighter then, too. Slept through pretty much all of yesterday, until like 10 pm, when we realized we had to do this doofus’s homework…” Sunita finished, promptly taking away the sudden guilt Mikey had felt when he learned that they hadn’t slept… except they did.

“So, Mikey, what’s this emergency you were talking about?” April asked, eager to get to busting some heads rather than writing the “HiStOrIcAl DeFiNiTiOn” of the phrase “Red Summer”... But she felt bad for asking when she saw the way her little brother’s face dropped…

“I… don’t actually really know myself…” He admitted, preparing to explain what had happened to the best of his ability. “But, I’ll tell you what I can… I was… Asleep. Dreaming of… something??? I can’t remember, but I think it had something to do with a cat made out of ice cream??? Anyway, I woke up and I heard Donnie and Raph yelling at each other….”

“Donnie and Raph?” April asked, partially confused, partially shocked. The two most prone to not yelling, yelling at each other…. Huh.

“That’s what I thought!” The box turtle pointed out, glad that someone also thought that this was strange. “Anyway, I… didn’t really know what to do, but… I figured that if they were yelling at each other then there had to be a good reason, right?” The box turtle asked, watching as April and Sunita nodded along to show that they were listening. “So I went to wake Leo up. A little after he woke up though, we heard Raph yell something, like, REALLY loud, which seemed to quiet the whole lair. We both rushed to the kitchen and Leo cut off some sort of conversation Raph and Donnie were having and asked what happened. Raph began explaining, but apparently he was… lying??? Ohmigosh, this is so confusing…” the box turtle said, already halfway through the pizza pie. His biggest brother lying just didn’t feel right…. But at the same time, he knew that stuff like this happened. No one was perfect, but still… Ugh! Why was this so hard?!

“Hey, Lil’ guy, take your time. I’ll wait.” April said, as if on cue. Sunita nodded from behind April and provided some words that Mikey couldn't actually really hear because of their distance, but he said thanks anyway. The box turtle inhaled a small breath before continuing.

"Raph was lying. Donnie cut him off and began to explain to us what actually happened, and that Raph had apparently had a panic attack and then they decided that they'd talk about it in a few minutes, which Raph then tried to walk away from, but Donnie wasn't buying it. Then they ended up yelling about whether or not Raph needed help or something. Then, Leo and Donnie started arguing about why Donnie would call Raph out like that, and it was just then that I realized Raph was…"

"Raph was???" April prompted, clearly getting more worried and anxious by the second.

"Raph was gone. Me, Leo, and Donnie all agreed to split up and look for him… and… here I am." The box turtle wrapped up his explanation, just as he finished up his last slice of pizza, looking at April to see her the most shocked she'd probably been since Casey showed up… How was he doing? He liked living with April, or so Mikey thought, so he figured he was doing fine.

"Oh my God…" was all April said for a while before continuing "We gotta find Raph." She said standing. "And we're gonna help you with that. Ain't that right, 'Nita?" She said, looking back at her friend, who stood.

"Mhm!" She said with a firm nod of her head.

"We'll help you guys find Raph, don't even sweat it, Mikey!" The teenager said, helping up her little brother.

"Thanks, April," he said, taking her hand and standing. He really was lucky to have such an awesome older sister, wasn't he?

"Commander O'Neil? Master Michelangelo? What're you guys doing here?"

Everyone turned towards the left entrance of the alleyway where they saw…. 

" Casey? " Mikey asked, now more confused than ever. "What're you doing here?"

"I work here. I got too used to the morning patrols back where I'm from, so… I needed something to do with my mornings… What’re you guys doing here?" Casey refocused the conversation to his question, which April answered.

“Raph went missing. Me and Sunita are gonna help find him, and you’re gonna help.” She decided impulsively.

“He is???” Mikey asked because… since when???

“I am???” Casey asked, just as confused.

“Yup.” Said April, effectively providing both of their questions with answers and dragging Casey inside the Pizzeria through the backdoor.

“Wait-WHAT-AH-” Casey yelled as he was being dragged inside.

…

Huh…

Mikey and Sunita both exchanged glances before both poking their heads in the building, simply being curious.

“Hiya, Is it alright if lil’ ol’ Casey here calls off for the day?” They saw April ask who they assumed to be one of the managers while she held Casey by the back of his shirt collar. “He’s got some family issues goin’ on.”

“Oh, of course, Ms. O’ Neil, Of course.” The old man nodded.

“Sweet, thanks!” April said over her shoulder as she dragged Casey back out just as Mikey and Sunita pulled their heads back into the alleyway. 

“Alright, Future boy.” April began once they were all back in the alleyway, and the back door closed which took an agonizingly long time… 

“Do you still have to call me that?” Casey asked, clearly getting annoyed at the nickname. “I’ve been living with you for like a month and a half…”

“Where do you think Raph could’ve gone? Anywhere? At all?” April asked, grasping at random straws.

“What? Me? ” Casey asked, clearly confused as to why he was being asked that. “Shouldn’t you or Mikey know more? You guys are his siblings!” Casey said, defensively.

“Hm. Yes, he makes a point.” Mikey says, pulling out Dr. Feelings and grabbing a small notepad out of who-knows-where and begins jotting down pretend notes.

“And you're his son!” April said, to which Mikey pretended to jot down more notes.

“Yeah, his future son! I don’t even really remember Dad like that! And besides, in the few memories I do have, dad never spoke of running away as a seventeen year old!” Casey said, clearly getting defensive, basically giving Mikey a cue to step in.

“Hm, yes, yes, you both make good points…. I suppose what I have gathered from notes here is, ahem…” Mikey began, adjusting glasses on his face that pretty much appeared out of thin air. “Yes, yes… None of us have any idea where Raph is and we’re all DOOMED!” He announced, giving a pratfall straight onto his back, his glasses disappearing again, what the actual fu-

“Well, I think I have somewhere he could’ve gone…” Sunita spoke up, causing the other three to get all up in her face.

“WHERE?!” They all asked in unison.

“Well, uh…” Sunita began, backing up. “I’m not as close to him as any of you, so I’m not even actually sure how true this is, but… I went into his room once to get him for dinner and I noticed that he had a lot of teddy bears… Maybe they help calm him down? And if they do, maybe he went somewhere like Teddy Bear Town or Build-A-Bear?” Sunita finished her suggestion, looking at the three faces that surrounded her expectantly.

“You’re right!” Mikey said, being the first to speak up. “Raph does love teddy bears!”

“Then it’s worth a shot, right?” April asked, very eager to get to the search.

“Yeah, Good job, uhhhhh…” Casey trailed off, realizing that he had never caught this beautiful young woman's name- I MEAN, UHHHHHHHH- aw crap he was blushing now!

“Hehe, Sunita!” She said, holding out her hand for him to shake.

“Right, right, Sunita. I’m Casey.” He said, shaking her hand. 

“I know! April’s always talking about you!” She said, her face going red. Why’d she say that?! “I kNoW”, damn, now she sounded like a creep!

“Alright, alright, lovebirds.” April said, breaking up the two. “You guys can fall in love later, right now we gotta head to a teddy bear manufacturing company to hopefully find Raph.” April said, walking towards the exit of the Alleyway.

“Actually, we might not have to…” Mikey said, looking at his phone.

”Hm? What do you mean, Mikey?” April asked, turning around again.

“I just got a text from Donnie.” He began. “He says that Leo found Raph and to meet him by Hueso’s in thirty minutes…”

“Are you kidding?! That’s great!” April said, seeming VERY thoroughly thrilled. “You should probably get going, though. Hueso’s alleyways a long ways away…” She advised, looking at her phone, probably for the time.

“Yeah, you’re right…. Are you guys coming?” He asked, honestly kinda hoping that his human friends would accompany him.

“I dunno…” Casey said, scratching the back of his neck. “This seems like a more “sibling+April” thing.” He admitted, earning him a nod from Sunita.

“Yeah, I agree.” Sunita said, walking over to Casey’s side as a physical sign of agreement. “But keep us updated, alright?”

“You got it, if you guys are sure.” April said, walking over to Mikey, who was on his phone, probably texting Donnie.

“Yeah, I think we’re pretty sure, right?” Casey asked Sunita, who gave a small nod.

“Yeah, you guys go make Raph feel loved! We’ll chill here for now.” Sunita said, leaning against Casey a small bit, turning him as red as his work uniform shirt.

“Okay,” Mikey said, tucking away his phone. “You guys enjoy your alone time!~” he said teasingly before jumping up onto a roof, followed by April, both missing the hilarious sight of seeing the two leftover teens turn red as tomatoes. 

“Yeah… bye to you guys too….”