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Wilhelm sucks in a deep breath.
Breath?
He opens his eyes confused, noticing that he is lying down on... nothing?
Everything is submerged in darkness, or what appears to be darkness, he isn't sure. It is all black. But for some reason, he can see, as if a spotlight is shining down on him. Yet there is nothing to see. It's as if he was in a void. Or is this what they call oblivion? Wilhelm doesn't know nor understands where he is or what is going on.
He tries to rack his brain, remembering the how, what, when, where and why.
He was writing a letter. He walked the palace halls to the forest to a lake, following -
He whips his head around, looking, reaching out at the nothingness, grasping, his breath coming in rapid and heavy. He moves his leg, trying to sit, then stand up, stumbling as he does so with nothing to hold on to. He feels so out of balance, not used to not seeing his surroundings, nothing to hold on to, nothing to reach. He straightens, his eyes trying to focus on something and finding nothing, it's just an endless void.
He stands still, closing his eyes, breathing in and out slowly. Fear is slowly creeping inside his chest, he lifts his right hand to rub it, trying to calm himself.
"Wille."
His eyes snap open.
He sucks in a breath and looks around.
He misheard that right? There's no one with him right now, surely, surely not, not Simon?
He stretches his hand, reaching out.
Nothing.
He lifts his foot, taking a step forward. Right, left, right, left, right left, his hands stretched out, grasping, reaching, trying to find something to hold on to.
"Wille!"
He stops, closing his eyes again. He takes a deep breath, shuddering as he lets it out in a soft puff, his mouth opening as he does so.
"Wille!"
A single tear slides down his cheek.
He bites his lower lip, "Simon," he whispers.
He could hear Simon's chuckle - close, almost real.
"Wille."
Another tear falls down his cheek. He refuses to open his eyes, afraid of what he might see. He is having hallucinations again, there's no other explanation for it. He surely is hallucinating all of this.
Or dreaming.
Yes, that's it.
He must be dreaming of all of this. He must still be on his bed, inside his childhood room, drifting to sleep and dreamt he wrote that letter, followed Simon out to the palace halls, into the woods, and into the lake.
Spend the night with me?
His lips tremble at the memory. Was it? Was it a memory? He isn't sure - but he remembers saying yes and following Simon into the bottomless waters. He can remember the other's eyes shining in the dark, those warm brown eyes that reminded him so much of chocolate and all things that were or are good in his life.
"Wille, open your eyes."
Wilhelm shakes his head, tears falling down as he does so, "You're not real."
A chuckle, "Open your eyes, Wille."
Wilhelm sniffs, tear after tear falling. He shakes his head again.
"I'm right here."
He can feel his body tremble at the sound of Simon's voice. Oh, how he remembers it so well, the timbre, the softness and the ache that comes whenever he does. This is all a memory. He has conjured all of this.
"Wille, open your eyes. I promise you - I am not fake."
Wilhelm sucks in a breath at that, slowly he opens his eyes. His sight adjusting to the nothingness in front of him, he breathes in, steeling himself for what he is sure is going to be another hallucination of Simon.
"I'm right here."
He turns around.
And there he is, in his denim jeans, his usual vans and purple hoodie - looking almost ethereal, smiling at him. He looks almost amused, his eyes dancing in half concealed mirth, playful, warm and just as he remembers them.
Wilhelm takes a step and then another, and another, until he feels himself running towards Simon, the other's smile spreading into a grin as he does so.
He stops just as he is standing right in front of him, looking, staring, surely, this can't be real?
"Simon?" he says in disbelief.
Simon grins. "Hey."
Wilhelm's eyebrows meet at the center of his forehead, utterly confused, unable to believe - he's imagining this right?
Simon reaches out to touch his arm.
Wilhelm flinches, then looks up.
Simon smiles softly at him and nods.
Wilhelm stretches his arm and reaches out to touch Simon's face. His fingers land on soft skin, exactly as he remembers it, warm under his fingertips.
Tear after tear comes rolling down his cheeks, hot, damp and endless.
His hand slides to cup Simon's cheeks, down to his jaw, then back up again to tangle his fingers into his curls.
Simon leans into his touch, smiling up at Wilhelm, eyes sparkling bright, happy - so much like the day he last saw him. He lifts his hand to rest it against Wilhelm's, closing his eyes, breathing in deep.
Wilhelm raises his other hand to cup Simon's other cheek, holding his face, rubbing his thumbs along Simon's cheekbones, stifling a sob as he did so.
Simon opens his eyes and looks at him, a smile spreading on his lips. "Welcome home."
A watery chuckle escapes Wilhelm's lips and then a sob. "I'm home," he says outloud, smiling whilst his tears endlessly roll down his cheeks.
Simon smiles at him fondly, reaches out and wipes his tears away. Wilhelm laughs at this and then, because he can't contain himself anymore, he lurches and gathers Simon for a hug. Simon chuckles and encircles him in his arms around him, holding him tightly in his embrace.
Wilhelm turns his head towards Simon's head, marveling at the feel of his curls against his nose, the feel of his skin pressed to his cheeks, on his arms and on his hands.
"I missed you." Wilhelm whispers, his voice shaking.
Simon tightens his arms around him. "I missed you too Wille." He rests his head on his neck, breathing in deep. "I'm glad you're here now," he whispers against his skin.
Wilhelm nods and closes his eyes. He can feel his heart beating madly in his chest; fear is leaving, replaced by something he thought he'd never feel again, elation. Happiness that only one person in his life could ever bring. One he thought he would never ever feel again.
Who would even think that he would have Simon in his arms right now? That he could hold him again like this? That he could talk to him again, that he could feel him in his arms again?
Slowly Simon breaks away from their embrace, Wilhelm looks him in the eyes, almost panicking, surely he isn't going to disappear?
"This is real right?" Wilhelm mutters out loud, worry etched on his features, his hands resting on Simon's shoulders, afraid to let him go.
Simon laughs, "Of course it is."
Worry doesn’t leave Wilhelm’s face, so Simon reaches out to touch his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Wilhelm nods and stares at his face, as if trying to memorize it again, enchanted as always with those huge brown eyes, his skin, his nose and his lips. The other's lips turn up into a smile as soon as his eyes land on it.
Looking up, Wilhelm can see Simon looking at his mouth, and then back to his face, a blush creeping on his cheeks.
Sparing no time to think, Wilhelm leans down as Simon raises himself to meet him in a searing kiss.
Instantaneously, as if triggered by their mouths touching, an eruption of what looks to be petals surrounds them. They break away, surprised, petals swirl around them, the void slowly disappearing into an explosion of colors. And then the swirling stops, as if the earth rights itself. Both of them look around, confused. Left and right, down and up.
They could see the vast blue sky.
Wilhelm's eyes land on where they are standing, a smile creeping on his lips that turns into a grin as he realizes where they are. He looks at Simon, whose eyes are shining brightly, looking at the boundless beauty around them.
It is a field of sunflowers.
* * * * *
March 2054
The forest has grown thick as the years have flown by. It'sunkempt and almost hard to walk through these days. Kristina remembers walking along these paths with ease during her days - hand in hand with a boy who made her laugh out loud without reservations, talking about flying and running away, most days lost in each other's embrace, giggling, running and hiding where no one could find them.
She breathes in, steadying herself, lost in a memory she'd buried so deep inside the recess of her mind, surfacing now because of the familiarity of where she was walking on and the path where it was leading to. She clutches the cloth she's carrying, as if taking strength from it and then proceeds to walk through into the forest.
She sees the clearing after a few minutes of walking - finally - she thinks to herself, relief washing over her features. She walks a few more steps and her eyes welcome the sight she is here for.
The lake spreads out widely in the distance, it looks as if it'snever ending from where she is standing. This area of the grounds are kept clean, the grass is trimmed and flowers bloom everywhere. Near the edge of the lake stands a newly built statue, surrounded by what looks like a garden of sunflowers.
Kristina clears her throat - she can feel a lump forming there as her eyes settle on the statue in front of her.
Wilhelm stands smiling next to Simon, who is looking up at him with the same wide smile on his lips. They are gazing at each other with so much love in their eyes, happiness etched on their beautiful features. Wilhelm is wearing his favorite trench coat on top of his red pullover. He has on denim jeans and white shoes. His favorite scarf rests on his neck, where Simon's hands are clutching both ends of it. Simon on the other hand is wearing his favorite purple hoodie, with his brown jacket on top, also in denim pants and his black vans. A beanie lays on his head.
In all truth, the statue is made of marble - there are no colors on them, but Kristina knew the colors they wear so well, after staring at their photos every night for 30 years now, something she would never admit to anyone.
Her attention shifts as she hears footsteps approaching her, turning around she sees Linda walking towards her, holding what looks like two cups of coffee in her hand.
Upon seeing her, Linda gives her a slight nod and walks towards where the statue is standing, eyes fond as she looks at Simon and then at Wilhelm before she lays the two cups on the ground by their feet. She moves toward where Kristina stands, putting a short distance between them.
"Thank you for coming," Queen Kristina says looking at Linda, her eyes sincere.
Linda nods her head again. "Thank you for inviting me," she says, looking back at the statues, the flowers and then the lake, "It looks beautiful," she adds, giving Kristina a small smile.
Kristina nods, breathes in and walks toward the statue, unfolding the cloth she has been holding the entire time.
Wilhelm's favorite scarf.
It was washed and doesn’t look as worn out as it should if it was used the past 30 years. Kristina made sure Wilhelm's things were kept in a safe place and preserved, just like Erik's things.
She presses the scarf towards her face for a bit, inhaling its scent, as if she could still smell Wilhelm through it. Breathing in deep and exhaling a shaky breath. Slowly she places the scarf on Wilhelm's statue, wrapping it around his neck and extending it towards Simon's hands. She fixes the length and then ties it in the middle - the scarf is like a huge necklace on the statue, adding color to the gray marble.
Kristina looks at both of their faces, chest heaving, trying hard not to show much emotion. She backs away and stands next to Linda, a little bit closer now.
Linda smiles at the image in front of her, eyes weary but fond.
"Was it worth it?"
Kristina turns towards Linda's direction, surprise etched on her features.
Linda turns her head, looking at her with a serious expression on her face.
Kristina looks away, her breathing heavy. Breathe in, breathe out. She closes her eyes and then sighs, "No."
"No?" Linda repeats, as if she's misheard her.
Kristina opens her eyes, turning to look at Linda again, "No, it wasn't."
Linda nods, pursing her lips and then turning towards the statue again, looking at Simon's happy face, an ache slashing through her heart.
They are silent for a few minutes. Looking at the flowers in perfect bloom, then at the lake, its waters glistening in the afternoon sun, then back at Wilhelm's and Simon's happy faces.
Kristina clears her throat. "I hope you're happy now," she mutters, her voice raw with emotion.
Linda smiles and gives her a sideway glance. "I'm sure he is."
Kristina looks at her, eyes hopeful. "You think so?"
Linda nods her head. "They're together now," she smiles, a tear threatening to fall down her eyes, "That's all they ever wanted." She continues breathing in, trying to control her emotions. She looks at Wilhelm's happy face. "To love and be free," she says, her voice breaking as the tears she's been holding fall down her cheeks.
Kristina closes her eyes, nods and swallows. She takes a deep breath, walks towards the statue and touches Wilhelm's shoulder, gripping a little. She looks at her son's happy face, tears gliding from the corners of her eyes down to her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Wilhelm," she says, reaching out to touch her son's marbled face, then towards Simon. "I'm so sorry." She gulps and then moves away, wiping the tears from her face, looking at Linda who's been crying silently watching her. "I'm so sorry," she says, her eyes glistening with more unshed tears.
Linda purses her lips and nods without saying anything. Kristina sighs and moves away from the statue, then back on the forest path, not looking back.
Linda closes her eyes as Kristina's footsteps disappear in the distance, then opening them, she moves towards the statue and reaches out to touch Simon's marbled curls, smiling as she does so. She wraps her arms around him for a bit, enveloping him in a hug. "I miss you," she whispers, tears falling from her eyes in waves. "I'll miss you always Simon."
She looks at Wilhelm and moves to touch his cheeks, patting it as she moves away. She stands in the middle, touching the scarf Kristina left behind and kisses it.
She backs away, wiping her tears. "You two take care of each other now," she mutters, smiling now.
She takes the scene in for a moment longer and then turns on her heels, going back the path she took on her way there.
* * * * *
Simon turns his head towards Wilhelm, reaching out to hold the other's hand. Wilhelm gives him a grin and intertwines their fingers. They both look at the sky above them as they are laying down on a patch of grass in the middle of their sunflower field.
"Do you think it'll get boring?" Simon mutters out of nowhere.
Wilhelm looks at him, disbelief crossing his handsome features. "With you?"
Simon nods, giving him a sideway glance.
Wilhelm grips his hand. "Never."
"Same," Simon says with a smile playing on his lips.
Wilhelm chuckles and goes back to looking at the sky - an activity they have been doing for - how many years has it been? They really don't know. Time feels different where they are, almost unmoving, save for the changes in the vast sky above them.
They watch it as it turns from blue to orange, sometimes reddish, to purple and then black with the sparkle of a thousand stars in the skies. The moon appears too, as well as the sun, it'stheir only signal that the days are moving. It doesn't rain, nor does it snow. It is neither hot nor cold.To them, it is as if they are in an endless spring where flowers bloom and never wither.
The birds sing in the distance, though they never see them, they chirp, sometimes they can hear their wings flapping as if flying overhead, but when they look up or around, they can't see them. Simon reckons that's just how it works around here, and honestly for Wilhelm, whatever Simon says, goes.
It never gets boring though, they lay there for hours and hours, sometimes days on end, or maybe months or maybe years. They look at the skies or sleep, or kiss or embrace or just stare at each other, lost in each other's eyes, love etched into their gaze. It never gets tiring, for both Wilhelm and Simon, there is nothing more pleasurable than this time spent with each other. In silence, in laughter, in bliss.
"Do you think we'd ever see Erik?"
Wilhelm turns his attention towards Simon again, he's looking at him with a curious expression on his face.
"Maybe," Wilhelm says, shrugging.
Simon nods absentmindedly. "That would be nice. I would love to meet him."
Wilhelm smiles and breathes in deep. "He'd love to meet you too."
Simon grins, squeezing Wilhelm's hand.
"For now it's just the two of us, yeah?" Wilhelm says, smiling brightly.
Simon nods, rolls over and kisses him.
Wilhelm places his other hand on Simon's neck, kissing him passionately. They break away and smile at each other. Simon touches Wilhelm's cheeks, tracing his fingers towards Wilhelm's brows, down to his nose and running his thumb on his lips and then leaning down to kiss him again.
Wilhelm grins into their kiss, circling his arms around Simon's frame, loving the feel of his body pressed against his.
Simon pulls back and looks directly in Wilhelm's eyes. "I love you, Wille," he says, eyes bright and happy.
Wilhelm looks at him and can feel his heart beating madly in his chest, always enraptured and in absolute wonder with the boy in front of him. He reaches out to touch Simon's curls, wrapping one around his fingers, "I love you too Simon," he says, staring straight into Simon's brown eyes with all the love he could give.
Simon stares at him for a long time and he stares right back, loving how Simon looks at him, with so much love, wonder and happiness.
Suddenly Simon stands up. Wilhelm looks at him, amusement playing on his face. Simon doesn't mind his expression and then reaches out for his hand, willing him to stand up.
Shaking his head, still amused, Wilhelm takes Simon's hand and allows the other to pull him up. Gripping his hand afterwards, not letting go.
"So? Where to now?" Wilhelm asks, raising his eyebrow towards Simon.
Simon purses his lips and then grins. "Greece?"
Wilhelm looks at him seriously. "Wherever you want, I’ll go with you."
Simon tugs his hand and they start walking the endless rows of sunflowers, grins plastered on their faces, hands clutching each other.
"Oh, I know where to," Simon says, stopping.
Wilhelm stops walking, turns to look at him and raises his eyebrows. "Oh?"
Simon smiles and then leans up to plant a kiss on Wilhelm's lips. "To eternity?" he says as he pulls away, lips still touching slightly.
Wilhelm smiles. "To eternity," he mutters, lips grazing the other's and then leaning in to kiss Simon again.
The skies turn orange, the sun sets on the horizon, the flowers dance with the breeze, birds fly overhead and the air feels just right.
Wilhelm deepens the kiss whilst Simon wraps his arms around Wilhelm's neck, pulling him closer towards him.
There is no rush.
No 40 days or 248 days left.
No time to worry about.
No other people to think of.
No rules, no judgement.
The world is finally theirs.
No stopping, no end.
Today, tomorrow, forever.