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Marriage was supposed to be founded on trust. Marriage required open communication. Marriages with a lot of secrets were not happy ones and risked breaking apart as a result of those secrets. Especially the type of secrets that Rooster had apparently been keeping from Hangman for weeks now.
They had bathed and put the kids to bed, leaving just the two of them to talk. Jake kept a lid on his anger and frustration in front of the kids because he didn’t want them to see that and internalize that display as an example of a healthy communication method—because it wasn’t—but now that the kids were asleep, he was prepared to rip the lid off.
“Why did it take me picking up a random phone call to the house to find out that you had to go in for an additional screening?” Jake all but hissed, glaring across the kitchen at Rooster. “You didn’t think that I had the right to know that you’re going in for an additional cancer screening, Bradley?”
And Bradley, for his part, looked ashamed as he stood in front of the sink. But Jake was pissed. He had been pissed for hours with no release.
“You didn’t think that I needed to know that? That after everything that we’ve been through together, and despite the fact that I’m your husband, and I love you, and despite the fact that we share not one but two children together, that I didn’t deserve to know that you’re going in for an additional cancer screening this week?”
“I’m sorry—” Rooster started to say.
But Jake was too mad to listen. It was why he waited until the kids were upstairs and asleep.
“—Sorry doesn’t fucking cut it,” Jake interjected, walking around the kitchen table. “This isn’t an ‘oops, sorry’ moment that we just move on from in three seconds, Bradley. This is a big fucking mess that we now need to deal with!”
“Keep your voice down,” Rooster pleaded, glancing over at the staircase. “You’ll wake up the kids.”
“You’re fucking lucky the kids are home because if they weren’t . . . I can’t even articulate it,” Jake snapped, turning away from Rooster. Jake ran his hands through his hair angrily before he turned to his husband again. “Why didn’t you tell me? And cut the bullshit.”
“I didn’t want to stress you out,” Rooster replied lamely.
“That has got to be the absolute worst reason that I’ve ever heard in my life for not telling me something this important. This potentially life-changing!”
“You don’t think that I know that?” Rooster snapped back at Hangman. “I was trying to protect you!”
“From what? The truth!? I have the right to know! I’m your husband and father to your kids! Does that count for anything with you?”
“Of course, it does!”
“Then why didn’t you tell me about your appointment!?” Hangman demanded with his internal hurt and anger and frustration bubbling to the surface.
“Because if it turned out to be nothing, then I would have stressed you out for nothing!”
“And if it isn’t nothing!?” Jake shot back at his husband.
Bradley paused, looking away from Jake for a moment. Jake breathed heavily as he stood at the entrance to the kitchen, waiting for Bradley to speak. To explain why they were now fighting over something that didn’t need to turn into a fight.
But it wasn’t Bradley who spoke next.
“Why are you yelling?” Caroline asked softly.
She clutched the stuffed goose that her Grandpa Mav gifted her when she was still a baby to her chest. Caroline looked between her dads, waiting for one of them to explain why they were mad at each other. And instantly, any negative emotion that Jake or Bradley felt was gone in an instant.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Jake replied, walking over to Caroline. “Did we wake you?”
“A little,” Caroline replied before turning to Bradley. “Why were you yelling?”
“We were just upset with each other, is all, Care,” Bradley explained softly, walking over to join his husband and his daughter. “Nothing to worry about.”
“What were you upset about?” Caroline inquired, not willing to drop it.
“Just . . .”
Jake and Bradley shared a look, trying to come up with something on the fly to soothe Caroline back to sleep. And also, to stop her from asking a thousand questions. It was past her bedtime and she was only a kid. She didn’t need to be involved in their fights. She shouldn’t be involved in their fights. And even if they were mad at each other, their kids came first. Always.
“Papa forgot to tell Daddy something. That’s all,” Bradley told Caroline, earning a harsh look from Jake.
“Like the trash?” Caroline asked innocently.
“Kind of.”
“Papa’s very forgetful,” Caroline reminded Jake, who nodded along slowly.
“Yes, it seems that way,” Jake replied, somewhat coldly in Bradley’s direction. But then he turned to his daughter with an added softness that Jake reserved for his kids. “But you, little missy, are supposed to be in bed right now.”
“Can I have some water first?”
“Yes, you can have some water.”
Bradley went to fill up a glass of water for Caroline while Jake carried her upstairs. Bradley walked into Caroline’s room to find Jake tucking her into her bed. After a few sips of her water, Caroline laid down and went back to sleep. Jake didn’t acknowledge Bradley as he walked out of Caroline’s room to briefly check on Nickie.
Bradley stood out in the hallway, waiting for Jake to reemerge from Nickie’s room. Jake closed the door to their son’s room carefully before he finally turned to face his husband.
“Let’s go to bed,” Jake stated, leaving no room for argument.
“I thought that you never wanted to go to bed mad at each other,” Bradley reminded his husband as Jake walked down the hall to their shared bedroom. Bradley followed after him, still residually annoyed and feeling like they still had a lot to talk about. “That was your rule.”
“Well, I don’t think we can accomplish that without keeping the kids up, so, we’re breaking the rule tonight. I’m breaking the rule,” Jake replied, walking into the closet. He tossed his shirt into the hamper and pulled on a pair of gym short before reemerging. “Granted, you broke the rule about not keeping secrets, so, we’re just on a roll tonight.”
“Jake—” Bradley tried, but Jake’s mind was made up.
“—Goodnight, Bradley.”
Jake ripped the sheets back and plopped down on his side of the bed with his back to Bradley. And Bradley knew that there wasn’t any room for discussion tonight. Not when Jake was in that state. So, Bradley simply slipped into his side of the bed and stared up at the ceiling until Jake’s snores echoed around the room.
Two days later, Jake and Bradley still hadn’t returned to normalcy in their relationship.
Between work and the kids, they struggled to find any time to talk—read: argue—about the situation. But it was time for Bradley’s appointment, so they put all of that aside for the time being to deal with the issue at hand.
“Be good for your Grandpa Mav, okay?” Jake reminded Caroline and Nickie.
“Okay, Daddy,” Caroline chirped back. Nickie simply sucked on his binkie in his mouth.
“We love you,” Bradley added, pressing a kiss to the top of both of their heads.
Jake walked off to the car and got into the driver’s side. He always had to drive when he was annoyed. It gave him a sense of control even when it was a situation where he wasn’t supposed to have control. Like the one that they were currently in.
Bradley sighed, watching his husband walk off.
“You two still haven’t reconciled?” Maverick asked Bradley worriedly, turning back to his godson.
“No, he’s still mad at me,” Bradley replied, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Did you tell him why you didn’t tell him in the first place?”
“Sort of,” Bradley sighed, earning a look from Maverick. “What?”
“He can’t read your mind, Bradley. You have to tell him that you’re scared. He would understand. But you have to explain it to him first.” Maverick adjusted his hold on baby Nickie, who was tugging on his grandpa’s jacket. “And you two have other people to think about now.” Maverick glanced in the direction of the car. “I think that he’s just as scared as you are.”
“I know,” Bradley responded quietly, wiping some of the drool off Nickie’s chin.
“Just talk to him, Brad.”
“I will,” Bradley spoke softly, taking a step back. “Thanks for watching the kids and everything.”
“You two take all the time that you need,” Maverick assured Bradley, meaning every word of it.
“Aye aye, Captain.”
Jake and Bradley decided to take some time for themselves after Bradley’s appointment.
Sitting on a bench at the beach, they stared at the bay in silence, lost in their own separate thoughts. Bradley turned to his husband, watching his expression. Just because the doctor assured him that everything was normal with Bradley’s scans and test results, that didn’t mean that everything was back to normal in their relationship.
“If you tell me that you were right or something along the lines of ‘I told you so,’ Bradley Bradshaw, I swear, you will sleep on the couch until the kids move out of the house,” Jake warned him, not even taking his eyes off the bay.
“I’m sorry,” Bradley replied quietly, finally receiving Jake’s gaze. “For not telling you in the first place.”
“I appreciate that. But I still don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me,” Jake stated firmly, not moving from his position. “We have to tell each other about things like this, Bradley. We have two kids to worry about. It’s not just us anymore. And even if it was, I love you and I care about you and I want you to be healthy. But you need to tell me about these things.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” Jake asked, earning a frown from Bradley.
“Of course, I do.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
Bradley paused, knowing that he had to come clean to his husband. And he knew that Jake just wanted the truth. They could deal with the truth, once it was out in the open. Jake wasn’t exactly against just speaking whatever was on his mind. And Jake wouldn’t stand for being lied to about anything. Let alone something this big.
And, now, it was time for Bradley to put everything out into the open himself.
“I was scared,” Bradley started off with.
“Of what?”
“I was scared of repeating the past. With my parents.”
“With the same cancer diagnosis?” Jake asked, turning to face Bradley fully.
“Yeah, but . . .” Bradley trailed off, trying to find the words. “When my dad died, I was a little younger than Caroline is now. And I was worried about repeating the past, like some kind of Bradshaw family curse, which would end in some tragedy where the kids were alone in the world without both their parents before they were anywhere ready and I just—”
Bradley cut himself off when Jake yanked him into a tight hug. Bradley hugged his husband back, finally releasing the stress that came with the secret emotions and fears that he held inside for far too long. Jake fisted the back of Bradley’s shirt, crying himself too at the subject of their conversation.
“I’m sorry for not telling you,” Bradley whispered out shakily.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry for being a dick to you the last few days.”
“I deserved some of it.”
“Yeah, you did.”
They eventually broke away and dried each other’s tears. Jake fixed Bradley’s Hawaiian shirt for him before cupping his husband’s face in his hands.
“But you were wrong about one thing,” Jake told Bradley, causing him to raise an eyebrow.
“What?”
“If something unspeakable were to happen to both of us, the kids wouldn’t be left alone. There’s no way that Maverick and Phoenix and Coyote and Bob and Payback and Fanboy and Halo and Omaha and Fritz and Yale and Harvard and Hondo and Penny and—”
“—Are you just going to list everyone that we know?”
“I would have if you didn’t rudely interrupt me.”
They shared a small laugh before Jake grew more serious again. Pulling Bradley forward so that their foreheads rested against each other’s, Jake let out a calming breath.
“Whatever happens to us, the kids aren’t going to be alone. There’s no way that any of them would stand by and let that happen. The kids are going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Okay?”
“Okay.”
They shared a soft kiss and hugged once more, both relieved that they made it over this bump in their relationship. Bradley was healthy, though he would have to still be screened regularly given his family history. And he would be around for many more years to come to annoy his husband and love his kids with everything that he had.
And Jake wouldn’t have it any other way.