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Ian never had good role models for what soulmates were supposed to be. Fiona and Steve were soulmates, though according to both him and Fiona’s soulmark his name was actually Jimmy. Frank and Monica were also soulmates, and that alone should’ve been enough to turn him away from the whole concept. But he still held onto the idea that his soulmate would be perfect, that it would like all the movies and nothing like the rest of his family.
Ian was one of the many people on earth who believed soulmates were the most romantic, beautiful thing, yet one of the few who thought that on the south side. Most people there didn’t even get their soulmarks, and the ones who did almost never ended well. ‘Soulmate deniers’ were also especially common on the southside. Fiona and Lip being some of them. Lip used to believe in soulmates like Ian did, though after everything with Karen he’d started calling the whole concept a sham.
“Why should a mark get to decide my life?” He’d say whenever Ian brought up the topic, after the 10th time hearing that Ian didn’t talk to Lip about soulmates anymore.
Like Lip, Fiona wasn’t so fond of soulmates either. When Ian was little she always thought of them as romantic, growing more neutral to it as she got older. Though everything with Jimmy/Steve had pretty much solidified her dislike of soulmates all together. The only happy soulmates he’d ever seen in real life were Kev and Vee.
He loved when they told him the story about how they got their marks, even though he’d heard it a million times he’d still ask them to tell it again.
-
“Can you tell me how it felt when you got your mark?” He’d ask Veronica for the hundredth time.
“You’d think he’d get tired of hearing the same story over and over again,” she’d say as she rolled her eyes to Fiona, before turning her attention back to Ian “alright I’ll tell it again.”
“Me and Kev hadn’t been officially dating long, now he wouldn’t get his mark for another week or so but I got mine. Anyway, I’d just gotten back from the club and I was pretty wasted, but at some point when me and Kev were cuddling and watching T.V on the couch I noticed that “Kevin Ball” was tattooed in sloppy letters on my wrist.”
“That’s not how you usually tell it.” Ian said, hoping for the more detailed romantic version of her story.
“I’m pretty sure you have the story memorized at this point, anyway Fiona we gotta get to club we can’t be late again.”
-
Ian always pictured that was how he would get his mark. While kissing, or cuddling, or smoking with some guy. What he’d never imagined was that he’d notice it while taking a shower after his shift at the Kash and Grab.
“What the fuck?”
He rushed to turn off the water and scrambled over to the mirror to get a better look at it.
“No fucking way.”
Ian stared at it, two words scrawled messily on his collarbone, yet still clear as day.
“Mikhailo Milkovich.”
There’s no name Ian expected less to appear on his skin. The boy he’d been hooking up with for a year, the boy who’d made it clear over and over again that Ian was nothing more than a hookup to him, the boy who Ian so desperately wanted to be more than just a hookup with was his soulmate. His soulmate, who’d just fallen in love with him.
-
Ian wore a shirt that covered his mark that night, he didn’t tell anyone about it and he wasn’t even sure he was going to. Everybody on the southside knew about Mickey and his reputation, that coupled with Ian’s confusing feelings on the matter and Fiona and Lip already not liking soulmates he’d decided it’d be best to keep quiet.
Ian really liked Mickey, though up until this point he was never sure that Mickey liked him back. Did Mickey even know that he loved Ian? Did he know that he and Ian were soulmates? Did Ian love Mickey? Does Mickey have his name tattooed somewhere on his body? If he did why hadn’t he told Ian?
His mind was cluttered with so many thoughts, as he lied down in his bed staring at the ceiling. He’d have to talk to Mickey, even if he didn’t know how to go about it he had to, it was the right thing to do. Ian didn’t know Mickey’s opinion on soulmates. He’d never really talked about it with him, and whenever the topic came up the boy just seemed to brush it off. Did Mickey want a romantic relationship with his soulmate like Ian did? Did he want a romantic relationship with Ian? He clearly loved Ian or else Ian wouldn’t have gotten his mark, but Mickey had made it so clear that what they had was nothing more than sex and maybe a little friendship.
Ian hoped that he was the first of the two to get their marks, it would make the conversation harder but at least it would mean Mickey didn’t already know and choose to keep it a secret, to hide the fact that they were soulmates. Maybe he was ashamed to have a man as his soulmate. Or maybe he was just ashamed to have Ian as his soulmate.
Ian decided that he couldn’t take all of his thoughts anymore.
“Lip?” Ian asked, hoping his older brother was awake.
“What?” Came a response from Lip’s bed.
“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” Ian blurted out still staring at the ceiling.
A rustling came from the top bunk and Ian looked over to see Lip sitting up in his bed.
“What.”
Ian sat up as well.
“How do you know if you love a person?”
“Are you thinking about that soulmate crap again. It’s all bullshit you know, just look at Frank and Monica.”
That was definitely not what Ian wanted to hear right now.
“No.” He lied, “I just think I might be into this guy and I don’t know.”
“Ah finally throwing out that whole “saving myself for my soulmate” shit are we?” He smirked.
“You know god damn well I’ve never said anything like that.”
Lip chuckled, “Yeah yeah, whatever. What do you think about this guy anyway?”
“I don’t know. I like him, I like being around him, I want to date him, I like how he smells. Oh and super hot.”
“Ugh, how you can call a guy hot I’ll never know. Sounds like you like him I say go for it, and nice job setting your fate. I was starting think you’d never get over all that soulmate movie bullshit.” Lip stated and his lit up a cigarette.
“Yeah, right.” Ian said, before going back to his thoughts. Fuck, Mickey probably already got his soulmark.
-
Ian really wasn’t sure how he was gonna go about this. Would he ask Mickey if he had a soulmark? Would he show him his? Ian had no clue, all he knew was that they were soulmates, Mickey probably already got his mark, and that he was walking up to the Milkovich house right now.
He was walking up to the Milkovich house right now.
‘This was the shortest walk in my god damn life.’ He thought as he knocked on the door.
No answer.
He knocked again. Still no response, ‘All or nothing I guess.’ He banged on the door.
“Shut the fuck up! I’m coming!” Mickey’s yelled from inside the house.
The door opened to one Mickey Milkovich in a tank top and grey sweatpants with a cigarette handing from his lips.
“The hell do you want Gallagher?” He said as he blew out smoke.
“We need to talk. Right now. Is your dad home?” Ian hoped his voice didn’t show how anxious he was.
“Just me, the fucks so urgent at 10am?”
Despite Mickey’s demeanor screaming ‘fuck off’ he opened the door to let Ian in, and led them to his bedroom.
Ian closed the door behind them and sat down on the bed, before looking up at Mickey standing across from him, waiting for the boy to sit.
“Why the fuck are you staring at me? You’re the one who woke me up so god damn early to tell me this important thing.” Mickey threw his cigarette on the floor and continued staring at Ian like he insane.
“Sit down.”
“Jesus Christ.” Mickey scoffed but sat down next to him none the less. “Well get on with it already, holy fuck.”
Ian cleared his throat and looked down, now regretting the fact that he did no planning whatsoever.
“Fucking god Gallagher if you just came here to sit there and say nothing-“
“Do you have a soulmark?” Ian blurted out not wanting to annoy Mickey any longer.
Mickey scratched his eyebrow, a nervous tic Ian had picked up on over the years. “Ian if you came here to talk to me about soulmate bullshit I’m gonna kick your ass.”
Ian started panicking, but it was too late to go back now.
“I, I just,” His voice shook as he spoke, “let me re-phrase that.”
He took a deep breath in, it was now or never. What’s the worst that could happen anyway? Mickey beats the shit out of him? He could probably take that.
“I’m your soulmate.” Ian finally stated.
..
The room was silent for a long time, Ian just kept looking down and Mickey scratching his eyebrow.
Finally, Mickey broke the silence but before he could even get a word in Ian cut him off.
“I just, listen okay I have no clue if you have your mark yet, but I got mine yesterday and I had to tell you. It’s the right thing to do and you deserve to know who your soulmate is, and up until this point I was never even sure you liked me like that. Actually I was pretty sure you didn’t, but I like you like that and I’ve known for a while, but I never expected us to be soulmates and now that we are I have no idea what to do, and I’ve always loved soulmates and dreamed about when I’d get my mark and I know what I want from this but I don’t know what you want and now I’m more unsure than ever and please say something.” Ian panted out, not completely sure of what he just said. When he caught his breath he looked up at the older boy with expectant eyes, just waiting for him to say literally anything.
When Mickey didn’t respond after a few seconds his mind started racing again.
‘Oh god I fucked up, why’d I have to say all that? What did I even say? I shouldn’t of cut him off, there’s no way he’s gonna want to be my boyfriend, he probably doesn’t want me as his soulmate. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck’
Mickey sighed, and scratched his eyebrow again.
“I know.”
“You what?” Ian said, not realizing he’d said that out loud.
“I know Ian, I know you’re my soulmate. I’ve known since you were fifteen.” Mickey pulled down the right side of his shirt to reveal the words “Ian Gallagher” written in the same font as Ian’s soulmark directly over his chest.
Ian was completely shocked.
“You, you’ve had that since I was fifteen?” He asked for clarification.
“Yeah.”
“You’ve known, that I was your soulmate,” Ian was bewildered, “for a year.”
Mickey kept scratching his eyebrow, and shifted his gaze downward. “..yeah.”
“When?”
Mickey snapped his gaze back up and stopping itching his eyebrow.
“I don’t remember exactly, it was after we hooked up at the store one of the first times. I got home and I realized that it was there.”
“I don’t understand.” Ian said after a minute.
“What don’t you understand?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ian paused, “Do you, not want me as your soulmate?”
Mickey sighed and rubbed his eyes.
“No, Gallagher- Ian. I do want you as my soulmate. Or well I didn’t at first, but now I definitely do. You don’t understand. I couldn’t, I couldn’t have a boy as a soul mate.” Mickey pleaded with him, Ian had never seen him like this before. “It wasn’t safe for me. Fuck, it’s still not safe for me and it’s not safe for you either. You don’t, it’s, fuck. It would’ve been better if you never found out. But then I guess I had to realize I was in love with you or some fairytale bullshit.” He mumbled at the end.
“So you want me as your soulmate?” Ian’s eyes lit up as he said this.
“Good god, yes Gallagher! I want you as my fucking soulmate. Is that all you got from that?”
“No, it’s just nice to hear out loud.”
The two sat in silence for a while. Neither knowing what to say.
Ian cleared his throat and scratched his neck, “So what do we do now?”
Mickey let out a nervous laugh, “Fuck if I know.”
Ian was unsure what to say next before he finally stated, “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” Mickey looked around his room before finishing his thought, “Want to bang?”
“Yeah, soulmate.” Ian teased him.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” Mickey said as he started to loosen his sweatpants.
Ian decided that the rest of their conversation about this could wait until later, he and Mickey were soulmates, and Mickey wanted Ian to be his. That was all he needed for now.