Archive of Our Own ^beta

Oh, this was just ridiculous.

Serena fiddled with the straps on the gift bag, rocking back and forth on her heels as that thought circled through her brain for at least 10 minutes, and stared at the dark red door. She should just knock. Ring the doorbell, send a message, something. Anything, instead of just overthinking like a creep in the dark, with only a few street lamps to illuminate the road. Serena had to keep glancing at her phone to check the time. It really wasn’t that late, and the lights and noises from the city center were awake and bustling, but it seemed it truly was winter here in Galar.

She missed Hoenn already.

And if she wasn’t so damn impulsive, maybe she’d still be back there, enjoying the temperate evening with May and Lisia.

Serena pulled her gloved hand across her face, pushing back her bangs that were starting to get a bit too long again. It was stupid, really. Ash didn’t need a gift from her. He definitely wasn’t expecting one, considering that they’ve been regions apart for over a year. He probably was inside this small rented home right now, celebrating the holidays with bunches of friends and impressive trainers he met while competing in the Pokemon World Series. She’d seen the place on a very brief video call when she wished him luck before the Masters 8 started - it was quaint, and had more than enough room for all the decorating and hosting that Ash couldn’t fully entertain while on the road. What would she even do if Ash did answer the door? Serena didn’t plan that far ahead, and she certainly wasn’t in the headspace for a holiday party at the moment. She bit her cheek as she looked down at the present in her hand. She never quite got the affinity around Christmas, and the last time she properly ‘celebrated’ was when she traveled with Ash in Kalos. If she didn’t understand it then, why would she now?

The gift was silly anyways.

Oh well. She’d just leave it on the doorstep for Ash to find later. Maybe she’ll send him a message in the morning when she wasn’t jet-lagged and freezing - she really did miss him after all, and she truly thought he deserved a gift for all his hard work lately. Her own breath fogged her vision as she lay the gift bag down, and turned around to step down the sidewalk, mindful of the frosted path.

“Serena? Is that you?”

If she wasn’t already ice, Serena was sure she would have felt her blood rush cold.

Ash was standing a ways down the street, bundled up in a coat and hat, with Pikachu snuggling up in the folds of a scarf, his fur fluffed out against the wind. He took a step under a street lamp, his cocoa eyes narrowed against the consistent stream of snow.

Arceus above, please say you didn’t see me standing outside your door in the snow for a stupid amount of time.

“It is!” Ash laughed, running forward, while Serena was - in every definition of the word - frozen. “Wow, what are you doing here in Galar?”

To see you.

“Just passing by!” Serena stammered out, trying to regain her bearings. Her smile, however, wasn’t forced at all as he stopped right in front of her. He was taller than her now, which was a little unfair, considering that was one of the only things she had going for her when it came to teasing material. His nose was flushed from the cold, and his gaze seemed even warmer against it. Pikachu gave a little squeal and leaped off his shoulder into her arms, and she nuzzled him close. “You both look like you’re doing well!”

“You too!” he smiled, and Serena prayed that her coldness wasn’t obvious with her clear lack of comprehension when it came to Galarian weather. She pulled her cardigan tighter as Ash looked over her shoulder. “What’s that? On my doorstep?”

Oh, damn. Right. Scrambling to pick up the gift, Serena dusted off any snow and thrust it towards Ash, desperately hoping this was coming across more normal than it felt. She had no clue what she was doing.

“Merry Christmas!”

Ash just blinked, and Serena’s heart sank. She frantically counted off days in her head.

“It… it is Christmas Eve, isn’t it? Oh, do I not say ‘Merry Christmas’ until tomorrow? Do you not exchange presents until tomorrow? I can just put it a-”

Her ramblings cut off cold as Ash just took the present from her hands with nothing more than a laugh and a twinkle in his eyes.

“You worry too much,” he grinned. “I was just surprised. I didn’t get you anything!”

“I didn’t mention I was stopping by,” Serena said quickly. “I don’t expect anything at all!”

This was a transaction over, right? Serena felt that she had gotten much more confident and capable during her travels in Hoenn, but this was not a good show. It seemed as though she was thrown right back to the first time they met in Kalos all over again - one half of her brain was screaming Ash! Ash! Ash!, while the side that sounded more like her just wanted to cover her face. She didn’t have much more to say (again, she really didn’t plan this), but the way Ash was smiling at her made the cold feel so much farther away.

“Let’s go inside,” he suggested, and the cold all came back. Serena may not have a plan, but this was not part of it. She was in over her head. It’s been over a year since they’ve been face-to-face. Despite being a performer, she’s never been great at pretending, and she was anything but in her element during this time of year. Serena would ruin the mood and mess up the holidays in one fell swoop.

But with the way Ash’s eyes lit up, Serena had a feeling that she’d ruin the mood if she said no.

“Oh, I mean, my hotel isn’t far…” She gave a weak excuse, and Ash raised an eyebrow.

“At least come and get a coat. Warm up a bit?”

Serena reckoned that her face at ‘warm up a bit’ was an answer enough, because Ash just smiled and went to unlock the door before she even got a word out.

Kicking her boots against the step to shake off the snow, Serena let out a sigh of relief as Ash flipped on the lights and the wind was halted by warm walls.

“That’s a lot better,” she said, and Ash snorted.

“I would think so. Did you even check the weather before heading out?”

“I’m not planning on staying long!” Serena said, defensive, and something twanged in Ash’s expression. Before she could identify it, he looked away, shouldering off his own coat and tugging down his knit hat to reveal an absolute tumble of wind-blown hair. It took an annoying amount of self-restraint not to laugh and flatten it down for him.

Maybe in Kalos, she would have, but who’s to say everything stayed the same after all this time?

Ash flicked on another lamp as Pikachu bounded off towards what seemed to be the living room, casting the entryway in a warm, gentle light. Down the hall, something gleaming caught her eye so brightly that Serena winced, until she peered through the light and recognized something she saw on TV about a month ago.

“Arceus above, I forgot to mention! Congratulations on your win against Leon! It’s so amazing, Ash,” Serena scrambled to mention, genuine but feeling a bit like an idiot for not opening with that.

Ash blinked and stared at the trophy for a minute, then smiled, almost as if he forgot what it was for.

“Oh, thank you, Serena! I can’t believe the tournament ended a month ago, I’ve been so busy that it could’ve been years. Is it bad to say I didn’t really think about what being a world champion could entail? There’s so much work!”

Serena laughed, her fingers starting to unfreeze one by one. “The title has never really been your goal, huh?”

“Nope!” he grinned. “If I’m really the strongest in the regions now, I’m just gonna have to find new people and pokémon to get even stronger.”

She rolled her eyes, a bit fond. “Will you ever take a break?”

Ash looked back at the trophy, his wide smile settling to something a little more contemplative. In the warm lamp glow, Ash’s eyes seemed deeper and older than Serena had ever seen. It sent chills down her spine.

“I’m making hot cocoa, would you like some?” Ash said, still looking at the gold with a soft look on his face. Serena swallowed, a little put off from his lack of response at what was meant to be a harmless question.

“I wouldn’t want to bothe-“

“I’m making you hot cocoa.”

“Ok.”

As Ash stepped around the corner into the kitchen, Serena let herself be drawn closer to the glittering trophy. It was beautiful, but something else caught her eye.

What looked to be a photo album lay open on the table next to it, the most recent picture being a picture of Ash receiving the trophy with his current champion team. Serena flipped back a few pictures. More of these pokémon that Serena has never met, yet clearly mean the world to the smiling boy in the picture. A few more pages back, and there he was, holding another trophy that Serena recognized. The first ever Alola League. There were even more pictures from this region, and she couldn’t help but smile too with the obvious bonds between the people all there. And then finally, Kalos.

This one Serena recognized. These pokémon were familiar. That waving girl was her, albeit a year or so ago. It was strange, she thought, as she ran her fingers over the picture. She doesn’t feel as though she has changed much since this moment, hasn’t realized the time that has passed, but clearly such a big chunk of Ash’s life is here and Serena barely knows any of it. Ash has become so much bigger than what Kalos was to her.

Ash may be finished. He may keep going.

Where did that leave her?

Serena made herself flip the pages back to what it was before, adamantly telling herself that she did not linger on the faded smiles. She finally slipped off her own shoes, accepting the fact that she was going to be here for a bit, and poked her head around the corner Ash went around.

There was holly in the windows, a wreath on the pantry door, and a little Eiscue lamp next to an evergreen candle. Some thick cookies - albeit a bit burnt - lay half eaten on a plate next to the stove, where Ash currently had a pot warming as he sifted through cupboards.

“Here we go!” Ash spun around, clinking two mugs with Spheal faces onto the countertop. “I found these at the market yesterday!”

Serena pulled out a stool and sat herself at the counter, still wrapping her cardigan tight around. Ash’s sweater was a thick blue with a knitted pokeball on front, and she enviously noticed how the snug fit was probably very warm. She nodded towards it. “Did you get that at the market too?”

He looked down at his arms, and then smiled. “Oh, no, this was knitted by my mom a long time ago. I probably only have a year or two left on it before it gets too small, but she promised to make me another one. I try my best to wear it every Christmas.”

“Tradition, huh?” Serena said, her gut curling with something she couldn’t really place. She subconsciously fluffed her hair again, trying to get her ears to warm up faster.

Ash pressed his hand to the top of Pikachu’s head as the Electric Mouse sniffed at the hot cocoa cooking. “It’s a way I can stay close to Mom if I can’t get a flight back home soon enough,” he smiled, though it was a little sad. “We still have presents. If I can’t come home, I try my best to book her a flight to whatever region I’m in at least one time during the holidays.”

Serena frowned, thinking back, and- right. One of the first weekends of December, she vaguely remembered Ash taking a short trip back to Kanto while she, Clemont, and Bonnie spent a bit of rest time in Lumiose City. It was a nice weekend - Clemont got to work a bit on his gym, Bonnie got quality time with her father (even if she would never admit to missing him), and Serena spent the time working on new routines and just browsing the city without an agenda. Thinking further, that made total sense. By the time Christmas came around, they would’ve been far down another route, away from big airports, and with another scheduled gym on the horizon. Ash poured a steaming trail of cocoa into one of the mugs and pushed it towards her, and Serena wrapped her fingers around it, seeping in the warmth.

“Is Delia coming here?” she asked, watching Ash shake far too many marshmallows into his own drink. “Or are you leaving tomorrow?”

There was a small sigh, and Ash lowered the mug that he was bringing to his lips.

“I hope I can see her soon,” he said quietly, though not letting the smile leave. Serena found it fascinating how Ash could make a smile mean a multitude of different things. “The Masters 8 Tournament has been so wild, and with everyone flying here on top of the holiday season? Trying to get Mom here would be a mess, and I can’t really leave right now, I still have too much to do. I’m hoping to fly out before New Years, because maybe then Leon could do me a favor and take over some of the press meetings.”

Serena swirled the mug slightly, watching the hot cocoa spin. She really wished she had something to say to make it better, but she couldn’t. It’s not like she’s ever had this problem.

“Where’s Goh? I would’ve liked to say hi to him - oh, and Chloe too!”

“Out,” Ash said simply.

“Out?”

Ash just shrugged and nodded, taking a sip of his hot cocoa and leaning against the countertop. It took a moment for Serena to really recognize what ‘out’ meant. There were no other shoes by the door, the lights in the house were completely off before Ash got back, and Ash hadn’t brought his friends up at all before this.

Ash was alone for Christmas.

Serena had the vague idea to bolt.

She numbly patted Pikachu on the head once the pokémon got tired of Ash’s pets, focused on the ill feeling in her gut. She was so damn selfish.

Serena really shouldn’t be here. These holidays were important to Ash; they meant things she could never understand, but she showed up to his door simply because she missed him. There could be a hundred reasons why Goh and Chloe weren’t here, but what if it was because Ash himself didn’t want them here? If Ash was really as busy and overcrowded as he said, she should be giving him a break. Let him spend valuable time with Pikachu and focus on the traditions he loved, not having to drop everything and rearrange his night to accommodate Serena's uncelebratory self.

She pushed her mug away from her, barely half-drunk. “I think I’m finished. I can head back to my hotel now.”

Ash straightened quickly, almost upsetting his own cup. “What?”

His raised voice caused Serena to stop part way through standing, her fingertips still dragging against the counter. She raised an eyebrow in question - was anything wrong?

And clearly, something was, because Serena had seen those eyes from daybreak to day’s end for over a year and learned to read them as though they were words in her native tongue - but Serena was out of practice. She couldn’t quite place what lay underneath the exterior, like syllables gone too long without use.

So Serena held her tongue between her teeth and stayed silent.

Wringing his hands slightly, Ash glanced out the window as he swallowed his slight outburst.

“What I mean is,” he started, “It’s cold outside. The snow hasn’t let up, and you still need to get warm.”

Serena opened her mouth, not sure if she was going to protest or not, but a sneeze cut her off instead. Ash gave a lopsided grin.

“See? Here, let's go to the living room, I have blankets.”

“I really don’t ne-“

Ash was gone. Serena gave a long, drawn-out sigh. He was too good at being the welcoming host, and he wasn’t making it easy for Serena to relieve him of that chore. She swiped the Spheal mug and finished the rest of her now-lukewarm cocoa in one last gulp. This was fine. She could do this. She smoothed out her skirt, desperately wishing she packed warmer clothes.

Maybe Ash had a point. The snow looked dreadful.

Or maybe that was just bias. When she was a kid, snow just meant shut-in hours with tensions riding high, all finally snapping with a late night yell. She’d keep her back pressed to her door, watching the flakes fall out the window, wondering why Santa couldn’t ever give her what she really wanted. Serena stopped decorating Christmas trees at 7 years old. Even then, she could appreciate when one looked beautiful.

Ash’s was certainly something.

It had the energy as though it was chopped down from the park a few blocks away, and knowing Ash, that wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. The lights blinked in every color imaginable, wrapped around the tree in no conceivable pattern as tinsel was tangled into the branches. The ornaments were such an amalgamation that it gave Serena whiplash - delicate things that could've been family heirlooms to hand crafted paper snowflakes and wooden gingerbread men. The whole thing was so full and alive, so very Ash, and Serena had the strange sensation that she was grieving something she’s never had.

She noticed something lacking though, and her head tilted. “Where are the presents?”

Ash rushed to cover Pikachu’s ears.

“Shhh,” he said intensely, but a smile danced across his face. “Santa hasn’t brought them yet. The team is going to be so happy with this year’s haul.”

Serena laughed as Ash removed his hands and Pikachu threw him a look that was so clearly labeled as exasperated. She stepped further into the room, the scent of evergreen wrapping around her in a way that, strangely, wasn’t too unpleasant. “Is Santa going to have any trouble getting gifts for all of your pokémon?”

“Santa has lots of practice delivering for big groups, I’m sure he has a plan.”

Watching as Ash flopped onto the sofa, she tilted her head. “Oh, would you have big parties often? Like in the movies?”

Ash snorted, and patted a spot on the couch next to him where a blanket lay. “Arceus, no. I mean, I would always make stupid gifts for the kids in my class, but it was just me and my mom when it came to Christmas Day. Sometimes Professor Oak, but it’s not like we had many others to look to. You know that I never met my dad and my mom never talks about that side of the family, and I’m pretty sure everyone on my mom’s side is dead or too far away. Pallet Town is small. Most people leave to visit their other family in bigger cities, so by Christmas morning, it was just us.”

Wow. That was… achingly familiar. Serena sat lightly, not quite letting herself sink into the worn cushions.

“It’s lonely, isn’t it?” She said softly, feeling a resonance in her words, but to her surprise, Ash’s gaze snapped back, confused.

“Oh, not at all. If anything, it just made it more cozy, especially when I got older and realized all my mom did for me. Sure, it would be nice to celebrate with others at times, but Christmas is special. We never had much, but Mom worked hard to make it feel absolutely magical. It’s a constant, you know? It’s always family first.”

She didn’t know. The brief sense of familiarity was swept away by words that sounded so foreign it could possibly be another language. Christmas, a magical time for family? She could almost laugh.

Serena lied straight through her teeth instead. “That makes a lot of sense.”

Watching Ash’s face light up at those words was almost torture, with how choked by guilt she felt. She needed some self-respect and just to make herself leave. She couldn’t help but feel like she owed Ash something for being here, that she was expected to do something, but all Serena could really do was tread lightly and shiver. It felt like a massive regress in ways she didn’t even know were possible. She patted her knees, as if she were about to get up.

“Well, I can give you some space now, I’m sure quality time is important during Christmas,” she said, fiddling with the gloves she slipped into her cardigan pocket earlier. Ash turned to her, eyebrows raised.

“Quality time is important,” he said, a little slowly as if clarifying, but it did nothing except confuse Serena further.

“Right,” she confirmed, standing up. “My hotel isn’t far.”

“Wait!”

And Serena waited. Waited as Ash glanced around the room, as if searching, and quickly pulling Serena’s gift closer to him.

“I haven’t even opened this,” he said hurriedly. “And you haven’t tried my Christmas cookies!”

Serena was too jet-lagged for this. If she had just a little less sense, she would think that Ash was trying to keep her around. She sat back down, looking out the window where the snow was swirling. Lights would catch flakes, making them shimmer like fallen stars, but the dark of night absorbed each one in a never-ending void. It never snowed like this in Kalos, at least where she lived. Christmas was never calm and warm and soft and stable. No one ever stayed.

But maybe Serena could. Otherwise, she was no better.

Serena was still staring out the window when Ash grabbed her hand, making her jump. He rubbed it between his own, frowning slightly.

“You’re still really cold,” he mused.

“I guess so,” Serena agreed, which was bordering on a lie as heat rushed to her face. Ash grabbed a soft blanket with knitted Mews on it - courtesy of Goh, he said - and threw it around her shoulders. She watched his hands poke around the tissue stuffing in the bag, his smile soft and sweet against the still pink-tint of wind bitten cheeks.

“Can I open it?” he asked softly, and Serena raised her eyebrow.

“It’s your present,” she said, almost amused, and Ash had no further hesitation digging in. She didn’t bother saving the living room floor from the scraps of tissue paper, as she was suddenly very nervous watching Ash pull the book from the bag. He flipped over to the clearly handbound cover - labeled “Ash’s cookbook” - and a little puzzled, started paging through.

“I made it,” Serena explained quickly, desperately hoping it wouldn’t look stupid. “I- I contacted some of your old traveling friends with May and Dawn’s help, and then I talked to Delia and made a list of all your favorite things we made. There’s, well, quite a bit from me and Clemont, because I know our recipes the best, obviously…”

She trailed off, biting her lip, as Ash passed his hand over one of the pages. This was a recipe from Iris - a lovely person to talk to, Serena must add - and her village. She remembered writing each direction out in her best penmanship, careful to avoid cursive as it gave Ash a headache to read. People were more than happy to send pictures as well, and she pasted each and every one with the weight of the thousands of memories attached.

She did this page and page again. A whole book of food and culture and moments in Ash’s life.

Ash’s fingers trailed on the photo of him, Iris, Cilan, and an Axew, glancing over the little food doodles Serena added around the margins. Serena knew exactly what recipe came next - a young man named Brock sent her a ‘No-Chew Stew’ - as she spent nights making sure every detail was perfect. She may be biased, but her poképuff pages were some of her favorites.

Serena glanced up, satisfied. She may not get Christmas, but she enjoyed the fulfillment from giving others presents year-round. She searched for Ash’s reaction, and froze.

He looked like he might start crying.

“Oh, Ash,” Serena said hurriedly, trying to backtrack. “I’m sorry if it’s a bit… I don’t know, strange? Or if it wasn’t what you expected, I was thinking that maybe-“

“Serena.” Ash was only a hair above a whisper, but it cut through the room. “It’s perfect.”

“Oh.”

“I, well, I just,” Ash continued with a watery laugh. “I can’t really cook.”

Something small and fond inside Serena unwound, and she could suddenly breathe clearer. She scooted closer next to her friend, shoulder brushing shoulder, and flipped through the pages.

“That’s why it’s a recipe book, silly. There are directions,” she said, stopping on one of the several sent by a girl named Mallow. “And if you ever get stuck, you can just give me a call.”

“I feel a little guilty, after all the nice instructions you’ve put together.”

“I’m offering, Ash,” Serena smiled, but Ash’s face didn’t fully relax. Serena frowned.

“But that’s not all you’re worried about, is it?”

Ash blinked and his eyes refocused, confused for a beat before dropping, crestfallen.

“I owe you an apology,” Ash mumbled, and Serena’s stomach folded in on itself. “I know you don’t like this season. I don’t really know the reasons, but I saw you enough during Kalos to know. You seemed uncomfortable earlier, but I kept trying to get you to stay because I was clingy. That’s not very fair to you, but you went along with it anyway. Not to mention you put together such a wonderful gift, and I got you nothing.”

Serena blinked. It took 10 whole counts before the neurons in her brain finally connected and she put two and two together.

“Wait, I was going to apologize.”

“What? Why?”

“I was invading your holiday time, just showing up and taking advantage of your hospitality.”

“Invading?”

“I thought you wanted to be alone!”

“Wanted to be alone? On Christmas?” Ash looked as if she just told him the sky was red and battling wasn’t fun. “Why would I ever want that?”

“I don’t know!” Serena threw her hands up, on the verge of a laugh. “As you said, I don’t really do Christmas. Maybe that’s normal.”

Ash shook his head in disbelief, then looked back down to the book in his hands. Serena let the silence simmer, feeling as if he wasn’t done.

“Is there a reason why?” he asked quietly. “Why you hate the holidays?”

Serena leaned her head back against the couch cushions, sighing softly.

“I don’t hate the holidays,” she said finally. “I hate my dad. Those two things just had the misfortune of being correlated.”

“Did he…”

“He left.” Serena shrugged. “Right on Christmas Day. I don’t see why he couldn’t have waited even 24 hours more, but I guess he hated us just that much. I should’ve been celebrating, really. He was awful to my mom and me, looking back. But back then, at 7 years old, all you really wonder is what you did to make Santa pass you over. Christmas lost its magic pretty quickly.”

Ash was rubbing her shoulder now, and Serena had the distant knowledge that her eyes were burning.

“It was just so unfair,” she said, curling at the whining of her own voice. “It was hard enough fitting in at school, but the talk of holidays every year sounded like a sick joke compared to mom’s attitude at home. She said she would get over it - she lied. Dad said he’d look after me - he lied. Santa is real and cares about people. Another…”

Serena looked down at Pikachu, padding his way onto her lap. She smiled softly and scratched in between his ears, letting a few tears fall.

“Well,” she whispered. “I suppose that one is true.”

Ash’s arms were around her before she even noticed him moving, and she just molded into it.

“I didn’t leave, not because you were being clingy, but because you deserve a happy holiday,” Serena continued. “And maybe I was a little tired of being lonely.”

“For what it’s worth,” Ash said quietly, his smile audible. “I’m really glad to see you, and seeing you is always enough.”

“I didn’t think you would care,” Serena admitted, feeling a little silly. “It’s been a long time.”

“Time and space doesn’t change the fact that I care about you.”

Serena sighed, pulling apart and giving Ash a smile. She might be a tired, jet-lagged, emotional mess, but Serena thinks that maybe, she wasn’t really cold anymore.

“Even during the holidays?”

“Especially during the holidays,” Ash grinned, and Serena huffed with a laugh.

“I still don’t get them,” Serena said, pointedly ignoring one of Ash’s hands still on her shoulder, pulsing warmth like a tiny sun. “I like giving gifts all year round. Why is it such a big deal?”

Ash tapped his fingers on her shoulder for a minute, before swiftly standing up. He walked to the closet across the room and threw a big, thick sweatshirt at Serena.

“I’ll show you,” Ash grinned, pulling on his own coat. “Do you need a scarf?”

“I thought it was too cold outside,” Serena teased, pulling the hoodie over her head and almost drowning in the navy blue and embroidered Pokémon World Championship logo. Ash at least had the decency to look a bit bashful.

“The cold’s not that noticeable with good company.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Even while mourning Hoenn’s warm weather, Serena could find it in her to admit that maybe Ash was right - the snow wasn’t too bad. It still got on her eyelashes and turned her fingers practically immobile, but there was something charming about clutching a cup of steaming cider close and feeling the heat of people all around, stark and distinctive against the night wind. The downtown area was much busier than what Serena would expect for Christmas Eve, but perhaps this was just peoples’ way of celebrating. Little stands to huge bars were filled to the brim, with delicious smells in every direction lit by the glow of lights and the reflection on the icy ground.

It was almost like a fairytale, she thought, amused.

And Ash? He was in his element. He dragged Serena up to vendor after vendor, trainer after trainer, for a quick word and wish of holiday cheer. He seemed to find great pride in bragging about Serena’s handmade book for him, describing the tiniest of details that she was sure he would’ve forgotten by now, and her ears were flushed pink from more than just the wind. His smile was radiant, and Serena’s smile matched that, surprisingly just as natural. Eventually, Ash pulled Serena across the street to a stand that was selling some beautiful glass ornaments, saying a hello to the vendor and their twin pokémon partners, Vulpix and Alolan Vulpix. Serena watched in awe as the first would blow on the glass with a puff of ember breath, and its Alolan counterpart set it solid with controlled icy wind. Serena leaned away, trying to converse some warmth, and Ash pointed out a set of the Galar starters.

“Chloe got these for Goh this Christmas,” Ash said, grinning. “He’s still away on his Project Mew mission, but he’s set to get back before the New Year.”

“They’re beautiful,” Serena agreed. She watched the light refract on the table, and when she looked up, Ash was handing her an ornament. It was an incredibly detailed and stunningly beautiful model of a ballet dancer, posed in such an effortless arabesque that it took Serena’s breath away.

“Merry Christmas!,” Ash smiled. “It’s not nearly as good as your gift, but this one looks like you!”

The dancer didn’t, really. The dancer had bouncy chocolate curls and round lips and graceful curves, but Serena had a feeling she knew what Ash was talking about. It was the energy, the pose, the performance and beauty that Ash was drawing a connection from, and he somehow landed on Serena. She was so flattered that she didn’t even consider the obvious - she didn’t have a Christmas tree. In that moment, that was probably the least important detail. She took the ornament gently, cradling it in her hands, before wrapping it in a cloth and settling it carefully into her bag.

“Thank you, Ash,” Serena said warmly into the December night. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. That’s the important thing.”

Ash gave her a smile before turning and starting down the street again, peering into the stands that sold hot scones and fresh gingerbread. Serena watched fondly when an impulse struck her. She really shouldn’t, not in the street…

Oh, why not.

“What was that for?” Ash laughed, brushing snow from a well-aimed snowball off his head. Serena grinned wickedly, patting another ball together.

“Just wanted to,” she said, sing-song, but was cut off from a face full of snow sent her way. Serena shrieked in delight, a raw noise that surprised even her, and she dashed down the street, throwing a ball right back at Ash.

Ash was somehow the best and worst person to get into a snowball fight with, Serena quickly found. He had high energy and fantastic game sense, but Arceus above if that boy didn’t have a fast reaction time. Serena wasn’t too bad herself, with decent coordination from dance, but both were stubborn as all hell, and giving up isn't an option - that’s how it’s always been for them since day one. They vaulted over empty benches, feinted around lamp posts and dried fountains, and Serena at one point called Delphox out to act as a barrier and source of protective heat. Ash called a time out - using pokémon must’ve been cheating, he laughed - but Serena called bullshit to his excuses and snuck in another pretty good headshot.

The last ‘snowball fight’ they shared wasn’t exempt from her memories as she collapsed onto a bench overlooking the plaza, breathing heavily. That day always had conflicting emotions tugging at her when she thought of it - she hated yelling at Ash, but it really was what he needed to hear at the time. She had a terrible thought that day that she was never going to get through to him, but here they were. Serena liked this a lot better.

Maybe things weren’t so different, even after all this time.

Ash pulled off his hat, pushing his hair back and letting his face breathe as he panted, all flushed and laughing. Of course, it got snow stuck all in it, and it clumped this way and that, creating a fluffy frosted halo around Ash’s head. Serena laughed, loud and clear, and leaned over to ruffle it smooth instinctively. She paused only once, her fingers lost in Ash’s thick hair, but he grinned and leaned into it slightly, before shaking his head in an attempt to clear the snow.

“Does it ever lie flat?” Serena complained half-heartedly, and Ash’s eyes twinkled under snow-dusted lashes.

“Styling skills can’t fix everything, Kalos Queen,” he teased, and Serena pushed his shoulder lightly. “Want to go ice skating?”

“What?”

“Ice skating,” Ash repeated, pointing over Serena’s shoulder to where a rink lay next to a lake, holding a small group of people. Serena was almost tempted - a thought that distantly surprised her - but she shook her head.

“Tomorrow?” she offered up lightly, and Ash beamed.

“Tomorrow’s perfect,” he said, leaning back and smiling with a satisfied sigh. He closed his eyes, his head angled to the sky, and Serena watched as the snowflakes melted on his cheeks. “This is my favorite time of year.”

For the first time in a long time, Serena realized that she wanted to understand.

“Why?”

Ash leaned forward a bit, looking around the plaza, and Serena followed his gaze. Trees all around were wrapped in lights and tinsel, glowing as if sent from Arceus himself. She watched as the now-slowing snow settled seamlessly on rooftops and benches, swarming around bundles of people huddled close and laughing loud. Down the street to her right, she could hear music, angelic and pure, and if she turned, she could see the group of carolers making their way through downtown.

This sight used to make her stomach churn with longing and resentment. Now she just felt warm.

“The holidays aren’t for everyone,” Ash said, voice low as to not break the picturesque scene in front of them. “And not everyone celebrates the same holidays. But this entire season, right near the end of the year, is a chance for people to reflect on what matters most. It’s a chance to be happy, an excuse to show appreciation to anyone you love. I never had much growing up, but I had mom, and mom had me. No matter where I ran off too, no matter how crazy the year was, it gave me something to look forward to. You make your own traditions, your own memories, and at the end of the day, ‘holiday’ is just another word for ‘coming home’. And, well, that’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it?”

Serena felt a smile creep up on her face, and she pulled her gaze away from the plaza towards Ash, longing to see that warmth on his face as he watched the night unfold. She jumped slightly, however, to find that Ash was looking at her. Just her. Serena felt heat rush to her face, and maybe a year ago - hell, maybe an hour ago - she would’ve shied away, but now she sat in it. Reveled in the feeling and returned it tenfold. Ash’s hot cocoa gaze was flecked golden from the lights all around, hair and skin so stark and solid against the flurry white of night. His chapped lips parted slightly. He was just Ash.

Yeah, she decided. Serena could get behind ‘beautiful’.

It was Pikachu who poked through the glass of the moment, pawing up closer to Ash until the trainer just unzipped his jacket and let Pikachu snuggle up warm close to him. Serena laughed at the butter-yellow ears poking out the collar, and Ash patted the lump with a grin.

“Anyways, that's all the holidays really are,” Ash continued, letting the moment that could've been 2 hours or 2 seconds float away in the wind. “You don’t have to be ‘good’ at it. I mean, look at me. I suck at giving gifts.”

“That’s not true,” Serena protested. “I still have the blue ribbon you gave me.”

Ash paused, looking slightly pleased, but he shook his head. “I barely picked that out, it was given to me.”

“It still counts! It’s the thought behind it.”

“My point exactly,” he grinned. “It’s the thought behind it, every time. Maybe Christmas isn’t real, bona fide magic, but you learn to appreciate the magic in little things. You know, like marshmallows melting into your hot cocoa or the way evergreens stay healthy against the snow.”

Magic in the little things.

Hmm. Magic… in the way her mom would still insist that Santa was real far longer than she probably should’ve. In the way she’d teach Serena how to bake cookies, even if she never wanted some herself. In the way she still wrapped a present, albeit cheap, and left it next to Serena’s bed because the Christmas tree stopped seeing the light of day.

Magic in the way her mom tried her best, even if she was grieving just as much.

Magic in the way that she still had family, even if Serena was convinced that it all broke apart.

Serena was remotely aware of something hot rolling down her cheek and hitting her gloved hand.

“Oh, Sere…” Ash’s smile vanished, overtaken by a look of pity. “I just… I don’t mean to like, convince you or- or force you otherwise. I mean, you don’t have to like Christmas just because I do, I won’t be able to understand-“

“That’s the thing Ash,” Serena said, her voice stronger than she expected. “I think I’m starting to understand.”

They sat in the stillness of that statement, but not in silence, as the group of carolers entered the plaza. The icy breeze carried the sound as if it were feathers, all molded into one voice with sweet layers like tiramisu. Heads turned to the group, and a murmur of voices joined - singing hymns about roasting fires, Jack Frost and loved ones. It was heartfelt and reminiscent, a melody of years past and tradition spent to be enjoyed time and place anew. Tears burned Serena’s cheeks and turned to mist in the cold air, but she didn’t make a sound; didn’t dare interrupt the song like her life depending on it - and maybe it did. It was everything she wanted and everything she ignored, and maybe she could choose to have it be different this time around. Maybe she didn’t have to let her dad ruin one more thing for her.

Maybe she could start over.

Ash was singing next to her, she realized with a start, under his breath but lovely in tandem with the choir, and all Serena could think was that she wished she knew the words too.

Maybe she could. Maybe next year.

She wasn’t sure when the carolers moved on to the next street, just that Ash had wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her stand. Serena melted into the steady hold.

“I could walk you to your hotel, if you’d like,” Ash said, voice quiet, then hesitated a bit as if thinking. “Or, I mean, my house has space. It’s cold outside, so it may be warmer.”

Warmer didn’t even begin to describe it.

“Let’s go home,” Serena murmured. “I haven’t tried your cookies.” Ash rested his cheek against her head briefly in acknowledgment, and they made their way through the streets - silent, but both far from alone.

They only parted when Ash broke away to unlock his house door, holding open the door with a smile.

“Merry Christmas, Serena.”

“Thank you, Ash.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The first thing Serena did when she got back to Hoenn a few days later was make a quick trip to the department store. The cashiers were definitely giving her strange looks, considering Christmas already passed, but suddenly, this was very important to her.

The ‘Christmas Tree’ she set up was a glorified bush in a pot, barely big enough for her to fit her small pack of lights around. She pushed holly berries between the branches to add a pop of color, but only hung one ornament - the winter ballerina. The sun caught it just right through the window and sent rainbows all over Serena’s desk. And, well, the plant was still looking a little bare when Serena realized she had forgotten a star.

She tied a certain blue ribbon into a bow around the top and figured that if anything, it shone brighter than a star to her.

When Serena surveyed her work some time later, she huffed, quiet amusement to herself.

It wasn’t perfect - far from it. It was barely a Christmas tree, let alone a ‘good’ one.

In that way, it seemed just right for her.

She guessed the cashiers were right. It was a bit late, but you know what they always say - better late than never.

It's a good thing Serena already had holiday plans for next year.