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- Crypto Cookies can be used instead of dollars and are considered real currency.
- There are now cookies for dogs and cats so that the whole family can enjoy them.
- Historians have recently discovered ancient cookie making methods proving cookies have been here since the start of time.
- Grandmas are going on strike stating that people are ungrateful.
- Good news, it turns out Pluto is actually a planet again! The planet was just baking some cookies to build itself up again.
- Cookie Monster is now going to be called Cookie Clicker Monster now says our Sesame Street overlord Elmo.
- Cookie Clicker the movie out now.
- Good news: we are finally getting the 30th installment in the Cookie Clicker Movie Universe.
- A gritty CW reboot of the Cookie Clicker movie series is coming soon, by the Writers of Riverdale.
- Cows are now being fed cookies so that their milk can taste like cookies.
- Scientists are working hard to make authentic Vegan cookies that taste like the real thing.
- A Sharknado style movie is coming out based on the Grandmapocalypse.
- Congratulations you found the rare news article, now go touch some grass you’ve been playing for so long.
- Person has been playing Cookie Clicker for 8 years in a row, and the family is very concerned about them.
- I have been playing this game for many years and all I got was this stupid shirt says disgruntled player.
- Help! I am trapped in this game and I can not get out.
- 50 Shades of Cookie, a new bestseller is being turned into an Animated Show on Adult Swim.
- New Hallmark movie coming out about two anthropomorphic bakeries falling in love.
- A new communist society is being formed that is solely dedicated to cookies.
- Capitalism is not allowed in Cookie-ism, says anonymous baker.
- A new language is being created solely using different flavors of cookies.
- We got ourselves a fresh batch of Cookie memes.
- The don’t allow button on computers in regards to cookies is now disabled.
- Error 404 News Article not found.
- Castiel: I love you Dean: the grandma apocalypse is coming.
- Cookie Clicker is love. Cookie Clicker is life.
- Never going to give you up, Never going to let you down, Never gonna turn around and have dessert without you.
- Hey Mom look I am in a News Update.
- It was reported that a fangirl is writing about this exact situation at this exact moment.
- A parody of the movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is being made about Cookies.
- There has been a newly updated version of the movie The Room, nothing has changed but instead of spoons all the framed photos are of cookies.
- Popular game developers are working with energy drink brands to come up with a cookie themed energy drink for gamers.
- Hey don’t look at me, these can’t all be winners.
- In a surprise twist of events, a Karen wants to speak to the manager but for once it’s to say how good these cookies are.
- Aliens mistake cookies as the leader of earth, Humans are saved.
- Cookie Clicker the board game has come out for parents who are worried their kids spend too much time on screens.
- College Courses dedicated to Cookie Clicker are now available at some colleges. Find out now!
- Cookie Clicker the university is now open for people to enroll.
- This just in, there are now 51 States as Cookie Clicker is now considered a state.
- My bad folks, we just got an update saying Cookie Clicker is now in its own country.
- This game can be yours now for $4.99 plus shipping and handling and there is definitely not a free online version and we are definitely not swindling you.
- Creators of Ratatouille came up with New Musical about Cookie Clicker.
- New Try Guys video coming out Without a Recipe Cookie Clicker Edition.
- Cookie Clicker the anime out now.
- You have seen Straight up Cookies we now present Gay up Cookies.
- Are Oreos Gay, discuss?
- What came first, the Cookie or the Clicker? The question has been discussed for ages, since the beginning of time.
- Man says he is in love with Cookie's divorced Human Wife.
- New cult was founded celebrating cookies.
- With the fall of Twitter, new cookie themed social media.
- New Cookie themed dating app is created, people are matched based on their cookie preference.
- There’s a rare group of people who apparently like burnt cookies. Scientists are not sure why.
- Cookie Clicker The Card Game coming soon to a store near you.
- Pun Master on the loose, guess we have to pun-ish him.
- Insane mothers want to ban cookies, and local children are terrified.
- We would also like it to be noted on the record that adults are terrified of this idea as well.
- Writer plays Cookie Clicker for “research” and ends up forgetting to write.
- Cookies Cookies Cookies Cookies.
- News reporter was too focused on cookies to actually write the news. We apologize it will probably happen again.
- Some keyboards were replaced with cookies so it might take us a while to replace them. (The repairs will be quite short, however most of us will probably be too busy eating to focus on repairs).
- The popular phrase “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” has now been changed to “a cookie a day keeps the doctor happy”.
- For those who love to eat and play chess we bring you cookie chess, the game where everyone’s a winner. Win or lose, it does not matter, you will still get cookies!
- This year's popular costume is non surprisingly, cookies!
- You have heard of Spotify Wrapped, now get ready for Cookie Wrapped. We give you way more information than you would ever like to know about the Cookies you ate this year.
- Scientists have finally found a use for all those burnt cookies. We introduce to you the person reading this, burnt cookie fuel! Save the planet and use burnt cookies to run your car. The earth and people’s stomachs will thank you!
- Cookie is now not just a name for your dog or a stripper, it is now one of the most popular baby names. For both guys and girls!