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“My men are continuing their patrols” Bo-Katan said. “It won’t be long until we find them.”
“Ours are at your disposal for that as well, sir” Rex offered.
“Thanks, Commander” Bo-Katan said. “We’ll drive Maul out of hiding.”
Ahsoka nodded. “Hopefully this will all be over soon.” She turned to the two clones. “Rex, Jesse, you’re dismissed for the day. You can go sleep.”
Though technically she didn’t outrank him anymore, Rex didn’t comment on her giving him an order. “You too, Commander,” he returned instead, “get some rest.”
Ahsoka just smiled at him, before leaving with Bo-Katan.
Rex watched her go. It was so familiar to have her back for these weeks, even if she’d changed since the last time he’d served with her in the 501st. She wasn’t that spunky, obnoxious kid that had been dropped on them on Christophsis anymore. She wasn’t even the brazen, confident teen he’d gone to Zygerria with. She was an adult now, calmer, more serious. A Jedi Knight, if she hadn’t chosen to leave the Order, not a Padawan anymore.
When he couldn’t see her any longer, he went to his quarters, thoughtlessly taking his helmet to polish it. It meant everything to him to have her back. As a clone, he was obligated to be loyal to any Jedi, but especially her and General Skywalker he would follow into any battle. Since Umbara he respected them even more, having come to realise that among Jedi they were exceptional, much warmer towards there men than any other general – maybe even more so than General Koon.
The door to his little room – as a commanding officer, he didn’t sleep in the barracks with the rest of the men – opened, and Jesse came in. Rex didn’t look up. As his second in command, the ARC trooper and him had become much closer recently, the last remnants of an old brotherhood. With Hardcase’s sacrifice, Fives’s murder, and Echo’s transfer to the Bad Batch, they only had each other left.
Jesse watched him work for a second. “It’s good to have her back, isn’t it.”
Rex nodded. “Yeah.” So good, so indescribably good.
“She’s matured” Jesse stated.
Rex put his helmet aside. “Maybe she’s better off like this after all” he said thoughtfully. “Not a Jedi anymore.” The 501st had been heartbroken when Ahsoka had left the Jedi Order and therefore the Grand Army of the Republic, General Skywalker and Rex most of all, but seeing what she had become now… he hadn’t been able to keep from wondering. She had been a child, growing up in a war with a Master who, for all his good sides, was a flawed Jedi himself. Perhaps being away from it all had been good for her after all.
“She’s still a Jedi, Rex” Jesse said softly. “She may have left the Order, but her mind and heart are still those of a Jedi.”
Rex rolled his eyes. That much was clear. “I know, I know.”
“You’ve become pretty close with her, haven’t you?” Jesse asked him, and Rex tensed up ever so slightly. Careful.
“Well, we share a rank now” he replied neutrally.
“That’s not what I meant” Jesse said.
Rex didn’t react to that, letting a silence fall between them in which Jesse looked at him curiously.
“Would you want to…” he said eventually, “you know…?”
“Would I want to what?” Rex returned a little sharply, fully aware that they were treading dangerous territory.
The ARC trooper didn’t drop his gaze. “Well… she’s an adult now, and very beautiful.”
“Please, you sound like Fives” Rex quipped, hoping to keep the conversation light. Fives had always been on the lookout for pretty ladies.
His attempt failed, both of them falling in pregnant pause as they remembered Fives, his various escapades, his thinly veiled innuendos, his dutiful and creative character, his eternal defiance of orders he didn’t believe in which eventually got him killed.
Jesse eventually broke the silence. “I didn’t mean it that way, Rex.”
“Sure.” Rex rolled his eyes at him. “And in what way did you mean it then?”
Jesse took a deep breath. “She likes you. She depends on you. She cares about you. With Dooku dead and the General out there hunting Grievous, the war might be over soon. You have… possibilities. Opportunities.”
Rex stared at him for a second, taken aback by his brother’s forwardness. “… no.”
“Think about it” Jesse held on.
Oh, he had.
“She’s our Commander, Jesse” Rex said. “And we have no idea what will happen to us after the war. No.”
“Why not?”
“She might return to the Jedi Order, and you know how they look upon attachment, she can’t –”
“After years under a Master who blatantly disregarded that rule, which we all know about, so they must have known too” Jesse cut through him. “The war has changed a lot of rules. This could be one of them.”
Now Rex felt cornered. “That doesn’t mean that –”
“She cares a lot about you” Jesse interrupted him again. “You’ve shared a large portion of your lives. I doubt she’d turn you down.”
“She won’t,” Rex said firmly, “because I’m not gonna make that proposition to her.”
“Oh come on, you can’t possibly tell me that you don’t want to” Jesse countered.
Rex fell silent. He’d had this argument countless times, in his own head. It always ended the same way.
“You’re right” he said eventually, admitting defeat. “I can’t tell you that.”
Jesse grinned triumphantly. “I knew it. I knew you liked the Commander.”
“… maybe” Rex mumbled, looking away.
“You think you have such a stoic face, but your thoughts betray you, Captain Rex” Jesse smirked, off-handedly making fun of the Jedi, as clones often did.
“That’s Commander Rex to you” Rex said, desperately trying to keep his professional composure and most of all not to blush.
“Come on, it’s not a war crime, you’re allowed to have feelings for someone” Jesse said, clearly delighted in having something to hold over his superior, to tease the generally unteaseable Captain with. “Especially someone you’ve worked with so closely, so intensely, for so long.”
“She was just a child when we first met” Rex frowned. He hadn’t felt this way… back then.
“So were you, technically” Jesse replied, unperturbed. “You were heartbroken when she left; it wasn’t just the General who wasn’t the same afterwards.”
Rex couldn’t possibly deny that. “I’d grown fond of her, yes –”
“I was there when we received her transmission, remember?” Jesse said, rather smugly. “I saw the look on your face. Kriff, everyone saw the look on your face. You like her, admit it.”
“I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed her until I saw her again” Rex said stiffly, which was true. “She was very important to the 501st –”
“Not nearly as important as she is to you” Jesse shot back.
Rex remained silent, not knowing how to respond to that.
“Why are you denying it?” Jesse asked. “We both know the truth.”
And they did. It was the bantha in the room, really, as clear as the visor in Rex’s helmet after his incessant polishing. He was still struggling to come to terms with it himself, but Jesse was right. It was undeniable.
“Fine” he sighed, putting his helmet down. “I love her.” It was a confession both to Jesse and to himself. “I don’t exactly know when or how things changed, but seeing her again was… I can’t even put it into words.”
To his surprise, Jesse didn’t react as obnoxiously as he would have expected – as Fives would have –, instead staring at him with a softening expression. “You love her…” he said quietly, almost as if in awe.
“But it changes nothing” Rex said decidedly.
“It changes everything” Jesse reacted.
“No, it doesn’t” Rex affirmed, to both of them. “You said it yourself: her heart and mind are still those of a Jedi. A form of attachment like a relationship is out of question, she won’t get into one.”
“The General does” Jesse said.
“And it’s not exactly easy for him, is it?” Rex countered. “Commander Tano is smart, she’ll know to avoid that.”
Jesse shrugged. “Like I said; rules might change.”
“And even if they do, she’d end up with someone of her own kind” Rex went on. “Another Jedi, or a young, fresh senator like Chuchi, or a ruler or something. Not a simple soldier.”
“Simple soldier?” Jesse said incredulously. “You’re the Commander, the first in command of the 332nd, just like her! She’s not gonna turn you down because you’re beneath her, or whatever! If anything, you’re the closest thing to an equal she probably has!”
“And I share a face with half the people she’s ever known!” Rex shot back. “The same face she’s fought with since she was just a child, the same face she’s watched die hundreds of times! She can quite literally get a million others just like me!”
“You know she sees us as individuals, not just clones of each other” Jesse said.
“I know,” Rex replied, “but still.”
Jesse raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that what this is really about? Do you think you’re not good enough for her?”
Another silence fell, one that could have dragged on for a long time as Rex was determined not to let the last of his guard slip and Jesse was too stubborn to let him off that easily, if it weren’t for the door opening again.
And she came in.
“Rex, Jesse, I heard raised voices” Ahsoka said. “Is everything okay?”
Rex immediately jumped to attention, a surge of adrenaline unlike anything he had ever felt on the battlefield rushing through him. “Yes, Commander, everything is fine.”
Ahsoka smiled, putting a hand on his wrist. “I told you, Rex; you don’t have to call me that anymore.”
“Yeah, I –” he faltered. It was too close, much too close. “I know.”
“Get some rest” she told the two of them gently, squeezing Rex’s wrist before turning around, leaving him to wistfully watch her go again.
“Seems like she thinks you’re good enough” Jesse smirked.
Rex collapsed onto his cot, hands over his eyes. “Fuck, Jesse” he groaned.
“What?” Jesse asked, concern in his voice now.
Rex sighed. “It hurts.”
Jesse was silent for a second, sitting down next to him. “The war is almost over” he said softly. “Don’t decide anything until you know what’s gonna happen then.”
Rex nodded softly, a small seed of hope growing inside him in spite of himself. After the war.