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The forest was silent, save for the rustling of leaves and the sounds of birds. Squirrels hopped between branches and ran around collecting nuts. The sun was bright, but it was dark beneath the canopy of the treetops.
Ginny looked down at the pond, smiling at her own reflection. No one was around this spot in the Forest of Dean that Harry had chosen for their picnic. He hadn't said much about it other than it being a place that he, Ron, and Hermione had been during their time in hiding during the last year.
Harry hadn't said much since they arrived. He was being unusually quiet. He had set up the blanket and put out the sandwiches in silence while Ginny admired the scenery. He seemed pensive and perhaps a little troubled.
"Here you go," Harry said with a small smile, then handed Ginny a sandwich.
"Cheers," Ginny said, taking it with gratitude.
They ate in silence. It wasn't an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but Ginny desperately wondered what was on Harry's mind. Their sandwiches finally finished, Ginny watched as Harry's green eyes scanned the forest. Whatever his eyes were searching for, Ginny felt like it couldn't be found within the forest's confines.
"What is it?" Ginny asked.
"I'm not sure exactly. I… don't know how to put it into words," Harry said, then rubbed a dark hand on his forehead, across his scar.
"It doesn't hurt, does it?" Ginny asked with concern.
Harry shook his head and said, "No. Voldemort's dead, and whatever part of him that was inside me is gone."
Ginny wasn't sure she fully understood what it had meant for Harry to carry around an actual piece of Voldemort's soul in him for his entire life, and it was possible Harry didn't either.
"Do you feel different now?" Ginny asked.
"Yes… and no. I'm still me but… It's like a dark weight has been lifted, and now I'm doubting myself. I doubt my feelings and my thoughts. Everything I've ever said or done or even thought before could've been influenced by having Voldemort inside of me," Harry said.
"There was only a small piece of You Know Who inside of you, Harry. It was always more Harry Potter in you than him," Ginny said, then leaned over and gently poked a pale finger into the center of Harry's chest.
Harry smiled, then leaned in for a kiss.
"I know that's true… but I don't feel it, Ginny. I think I need some time. I need to know who I am," Harry said.
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, feeling suddenly panicked.
“While you’re at Hogwarts, I’m going to travel for a while," Harry said, looking away and frowning.
"For how long?" Ginny asked sadly.
"I don't know. I promise I'll write. I need to be away from everything I know and find out who I am. I need to eliminate all of my doubt… all of it,” Harry said.
“I was hoping you’d change your mind about not finishing school,” Ginny said.
“Sorry. Kingsley offered me a position as an Auror. Nearly killed me to tell him I couldn't accept yet, but he said once I’m ready… the position will be there,” Harry said.
Ginny knew how much a sense of duty Harry felt. That truly must’ve been difficult for him to turn down.
"I'm sorry. I feel like I need to do this," Harry said, then turned back to look at her directly, determination in his eyes. Ginny reached across the blanket and took one of his hands in hers.
"We don't have to call it off again, though," Harry said, looking regretful.
"That wouldn't be fair to either of us, Harry. How can I ask you to remain faithful to me while you're off trying to find yourself?" Ginny said.
"I'm not sure the two things are incompatible. Why does what we do with other people invalidate what we feel for each other? As long as we always come back to each other. That's what matters," Harry said.
Ginny hadn't thought of it that way before, but it made sense now that Harry had said it. She had a fleeting thought about Luna Lovegood, but she buried it for the moment, to be revisited at a later date. Ginny looked at Harry intently. She studied his face in all its beauty and form, feeling a pang of longing already.
“Harry, can we be together right now? Before you go. One sweet farewell,” Ginny said.
Harry nodded, and she climbed into his lap, kissing him deeply.
After she lay on his chest as euphoria began to slip away. They lay there for a time in silence with the sounds of the forest their only companions.
"I'm going to miss you, Harry. I'm glad we've had a few months together, at least," Ginny said.
"Don't worry, Gin. I’ll be back. And things will be different. I promise,” Harry said, wrapping an arm around her back and holding her to him tightly.
After a short while, they got up, dressed themselves, and cleaned up, just as silently as when they arrived.
Finally, as they were about to apparate, Ginny asked the thing she had been afraid to ask,
"When are you leaving? Exactly, I mean."
“Immediately. Almost. I've already packed. I was just waiting to tell you," Harry confessed.
Ginny closed her eyes and nodded, not surprised by his answer but sad nonetheless. She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a kiss as they apparated back to the Burrow.