Work Text:
i
Akito doesn’t knock on Ena’s door a lot. He doesn’t need to, really, because for some reason, Ena always keeps her door open. She says it’s because she likes having more air in her bedroom (which doesn’t even make sense), but he disagrees. Akito’s seven, and he knows his older sister’s door is always open for him. He knows things are complicated right now. From his father’s work, to his mom taking more late night shifts, it’s just been the two of them. Most of the time, Ena and him are left to fend for themselves. On other nights, dinner’s worse. It’s typically less noisy.
If anything, dinner isn’t the highlight of the event. It’s what happens afterwards. Sleepovers are a common occurrence, no matter what day it is, but only if their mom allows them to do so. Ena paints her left hand in nail polish, and he helps paint Ena’s right hand. They have pillow fights, and it mostly ends up in him crying, and Ena exclaiming loudly, telling him to hit her back so she doesn’t get in trouble.
He’s ten and his sister’s door is always open.
ii
Akito’s eleven, and his sister’s door is slightly closed, but it’s still open. He just kicks the door open, and she’ll roll her eyes and let him saunter in like he owns the room. She’s in her first or second year of middle school (Akito can’t remember), and she likes going out shopping with her friend. But for some reason, Ena’s lazy (as always), and now that he’s a little older, she keeps making him go to the convenience store just around the corner to get her food. He doesn’t really mind, because afterwards, they’ll eat ice cream in silence while watching TV.
Other than becoming an errand boy, things haven’t really changed, but he’s noticed that Ena’s been drawing more often. She’s taken a liking to using watercolors, and she’ll just sit in her room, painting on her canvas, perched nicely on an easel. A lone cup of water sits beside it on her desk, and Akito likes sitting on her bed, just watching her paint. She moved her brush up and down, and she’ll occasionally stop to wet her brush again.
There’s a certain passion in her eyes whenever she paints. When she begins her sketch on the canvas, her eyes are concentrated and focused. When she begins to paint, she’s not tense or stiff, she looks free. It’s definitely nothing like how their father looks while drawing. But still…
Besides, he can’t really recall ever feeling that way while playing soccer. Sure, there are times where he gets excited, but he’s never felt like that. It’s like Ena’s in her own world, own zone.
“Hey, Ena?”
“What’s up?”
“How did you know art was something you truly wanted?”
Ena frowns. “Is this about soccer?”
“I still want to play. We’re going to face that other team in a couple months. We’re definitely gonna win.”
“Well… for me, art is something that makes me happy. When I’m drawing, I feel motivated. I feel inspired and eager to draw. If that makes sense?”
“Mm… Yeah!”
He looks up to his older sister a lot, even if she’s annoying, and she makes him get snacks for her a lot, she’s always been a sort of role model in his life. She’s always looking out for him silently. Bandaging him up after practice. Making sure he’s eating enough. Even if she teases him about this one anime he likes, she still watches it with him.
The door’s still open.
(But deep down, he’s terrified it’ll eventually close like his fathers door.)
iii
One knock, as a warning to let Ena know he’s coming in.
“Ena?”
A pause. “Hm?”
“I quit soccer.”
He knows why he did it. It just didn’t make sense for him to keep playing. There wasn’t any purpose behind it. Not like his friends, not like his opponents. Not like his father or older sister when they draw.
“… Here. Sit down, Akito.”
He walks in and collapses on the bed. Maybe twelve is just an age where everyone goes through life changing events.
“I don’t know. I’m no good at this.”
Ena frowns. “Gah. Your knees. And your ankles. And your whole leg .”
“I know.”
Akito watches Ena grab the antiseptic, cleaning his bloodied ankles. She practically has to bandage up his whole leg, at this point. He winces a lot. It’s a little hard to stay quiet. It stings a lot.
“You don’t have to be good at everything. It’s okay.” He tunes out the rest. He can’t really focus right now, his eyes are starting to burn. He’s probably sick with a fever. Gross. He catches onto the rest, but nothing else.
“Akito, just. You know. Sorry.”
“Yeah.”
The door stays wide open for the entire night.
(Neither have the energy to close it.)
iv
Ever since Ena took him to that event, after he quit soccer, it was like a flame was ignited inside his chest.
Last year, he met his partner. Now, he has something to work towards. Something to live for. The home door opens slowly- he has to jam the key in and twist a couple of times. But still, he’s not good enough. Even so- It makes him want to practice more. One day. He’ll definetly, definitely beat that event. But it’s not like he can just expect the world to hand him all of that without working for it. He stays out later, practicing later, practicing harder. Akito doesn’t really know when’s the last time he stayed at home for a long time.
“Ena? I’m home.”
“About yesterday night. Sorry.”
Ena’s stubborn, and she rarely says sorry. But yesterday, their fight at the door… he should have just told her that he was out practicing singing again. He just didn’t want to worry her.
“Nah, it was my fault.”
He slips off his shoes, puts them on the shoe rack, and takes his bag off, hanging it on one of the hooks mounted on the wall.
“That’s my little bro , as expected. So cheeky!” Ena’s sarcasm is a little scary. “Little bro”… he shudders. She ruffles his hair, and he can feel his bangs swipe across his face like crazy.
He’s not really afraid of himself growing up. He’s more afraid of growing up and losing Ena like this, if anything. They fight more seriously, and that’s a little scary for him.
v
Toya and him are definitely together in a romantic sense. They haven’t really labelled their relationship yet… but it’s clear to the both of them that it is. They haven’t told anyone outright yet, but he’s pretty sure it’s obvious.
—
toya
practice is tomorrow, right?
akito
yup it is 👍 what’s up? Is everything okay?
toya
before practice, do you want to check out that cafe i was talking about with me? i’ve been looking at it for a while now, and i’d like to go with you.
akito
oh really wait whag time before practice? 9:30 then right? its the one near our usual spot, right?
toya
yes, that spot. if that time works for you, then thats fine.
akito
its a date?
toya
if you want it to be, then yes :)
—
Akito’s going to explode. That’s too much for his heart. If it’s a date, he’ll have to get dressed up and all.
Ena’s probably sleeping, but that’s okay. One knock on the door is the warning. A second knock.
“Ena? Ena. I need your help.”
“You woke me up for… what reason?”
“I’m going on a date.” He says it so straight faced he wants to die.
The look in Ena’s eyes is terrifying.
“It’s the Aoyagi boy, isn’t it.”
“No comment.”
vi
Things in the house are quiet again, but it’s not as somber compared to the time when the house was the quietest. It’s just one of those weeks, he supposes. Ena is crammed up in her room, her usually slightly opened door closed shut, locked completely. She hasn’t eaten in a while. To tell the truth, he’s worried. He should drop off something at her door.
He’s learnt throughout the years, when his older sister’s door is surprisingly shut tight and she’s locked in her room, the way he knocks on her door is its own language. One knock is a warning that he’s there. A second knock means he’s really coming in. A third knock means it’s time for Ena to wake up. Anything more than that, and it means Akito’s going to have to sit beside Ena in silence while he rests his head on hers.
One knock.
“Ena?”
A second knock.
“Ena, I’m coming in.”
A third knock.
“Ena, are you there?”
He hears shuffling. (Thank goodness.)
A fourth knock. “I’m going to open the door, okay?”
“… M’kay.”
“Move over. I’ve got cheesecake.”
It’s dark in her room. Her lights are off for once.
He leans onto Ena. “You good?”
“Just tired.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
The knocks on the door don’t matter. Nothing really matters, now that he thinks about it. Everything is just a reason to push yourselves forward. Toya, the legendary event, his older sister. All these things are what pushes him forward.
Akito doesn’t believe in leaving it up to things such as “fate” or “destiny”. Only fools believe in those things. They just don’t want to put in the work to make their dreams happen. But really, his true dream all along…
He doesn’t believe that knocking on doors is a language of his own, and he certainly doesn’t believe in destiny or fate, but he prays to Lady Luck to let them stay happy for a little longer. No more than two knocks. He knocks on wood so that Ena and him can be more relaxed.
(Please take care of yourself.)