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Changbin reaches his left arm out, the appendage colliding with the mattress, and he sighs at the feeling. The lefthand side of the bed was empty and cold once more. Changbin huffs before sitting up, looking around the room.
Yep, Minho was definitely gone.
Changbin pouts before slipping out of bed, wincing as the cold air of his apartment bites at his short-clad legs. He has no plans for the day, so he quickly changes into some sweatpants before grabbing his phone and making his way downstairs. There’s the familiar sight of a plate wrapped in cling film on the table and a small cat-shaped post-it note sitting on top of it. Changbin sighs, conflicting feelings burning up in his heart. He hates always waking up alone and going to bed alone, but then Minho does cute stuff like this every morning and Changbin questions his doubts all over again.
“The things you do to my heart, Lee Minho.”
--
That night, Changbin finds himself getting into bed, alone once more. He sighs, staring at the picture of Minho that’s on his lock screen, reminiscing about the times when Minho was around more.
It’s a selfie Minho had sent him when he went home for a week once. He’s bare-faced and beautiful, his tan skin glowing and healthy, and his brown eyes are wide and sparkly as he stares at the camera. In his free arm is Soonie, the cat wide-eyed and adorable as Minho’s presses his cheek against Soonie’s, and Changbin had fallen so in love with the picture that he’d immediately saved it and made it his lock screen. That had been eleven months ago now, a year and a half into their relationship, and Changbin’s mind starts to wonder where everything went wrong. Why was Minho avoiding him?
With another sigh, Changbin locks his phone screen once more, the room going black as the only source of light is removed, and Changbin puts his phone on charge before snuggling into his bed sheets. The bed is big, and the sheets are thick and warm, but the bed still feels cold without Minho cuddling him. Changbin huffs.
“Where are you Min?”
*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*
Changbin doesn’t wake up till 1pm the next day, and he rolls over to check the clock with a sigh. The bed is empty again, but then again he expects nothing less after waking up at 1pm. Changbin follows the same routine as yesterday – shuffling out of bed, changing into sweatpants and heading down for food.
There’s no plate of food waiting for him this time though, and Changbin feels the final last string keeping his heart tethered together break, his heart shattering into pieces. He starts crying, tears spilling down his cheeks as he crouches down on the kitchen floor. Despite being home alone, Changbin still muffles his cries into his hand, feeling pathetic for crying over something as simple and childish as this.
But Changbin knows, deep down, that it’s more than just the missing food. It’s the fact that Minho has slowly been forgetting Changbin more and more as time goes on and this feels like the last straw, like the last thing that signifies that Minho is done with Changbin, and Changbin doesn’t know how to cope with this knowledge.
In all his emotional distress, Changbin had forgotten that Chan and Jisung were coming to visit him today, so when the doorbell rings he startles, jumping in place and smacking his head against the cupboard, a fresh wave of tears forming in his eyes at the pain. With a sigh, Changbin gets up, sniffling as he wipes his tears before going to open the door.
Chan and Jisung stand on the other side, hands linked with bags in their free hands. They both wear big smiles that quickly drop upon seeing Changbin’s tear-racked state.
“Changbin? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Jisung asks, crossing the threshold into the house, unlinking his hand from Chan’s and using it to brush away some of the tears on Changbin’s cheeks.
“It’s, it’s a long story. Just come in, I’ll explain more.” Changbin sniffles, stepping aside to let the couple through. Once Chan steps into the hallway, Changbin shuts the door, still sniffling. Chan and Jisung shrug off their coats and shoes at the doorway, placing their bags under the stairs, before following Changbin into the living room.
“So what’s going on?” Chan asks once all three are settled, Changbin in the armchair and Chan and Jisung on the couch.
“It’s Minho. He, I don’t think I’ve seen him for over two weeks now.” Changbin says, swallowing down the tears threatening to fall again. His cheeks are still damp from his last crying session. “He’s gone before I wake up and he comes back when I’m fast asleep. I know he’s been home and stuff, because he always leaves me a plate of food for breakfast, but that wasn’t the case today. And I think he’s ready to be done with me.” Changbin says and he does start crying this time, unable to stop the tears from speeding down his face. He mutters a small ‘sorry’ through his tears.
“Don’t apologise, Changbin. You have every right to be upset about this.” Chan says, tone soothing. Changbin offers him a watery smile, but the tears are still spilling down his cheeks. Jisung stands up and make his way over, crouching in front of Changbin.
“Maybe you should talk to him? That’s the only way you’ll get some semblance of an answer from him.” Jisung says as he rubs soothing circles into the skin of Changbin’s thighs where his hands were resting.
“I’m scared.” Changbin whispers, voice broken from crying. Chan stands up then, hitching a leg up to sit on the arm of the chair before running a gentle hand through Changbin’s hair. Changbin leans into him, the motion soothing.
“You’re allowed to be afraid but the longer you leave this, the worse you’ll feel.” Chan says. Changbin sniffles, thinking it over. Chan is right, but that doesn’t mean that Changbin has to like it. He goes to protest when his stomach growls, Jisung laughing at the noise.
“Someone’s hungry.” Jisung says, trying to keep his tone light and playful so as to not upset Changbin even further.
“Well, I woke up at 1pm and didn’t eat because I was crying.” Changbin sniffles, suddenly embarrassed at his predicament.
“Come on, we’ll order lunch, yeah? My treat.” Chan says and Changbin looks up him, pouty lips and shiny eyes, and Chan just smiles at him before pulling his phone out and turning his attention towards it. He hands the phone to Changbin, a delivery app pulled up on the screen.
“Take your pick.”
--
An hour and a half later finds Chan, Changbin and Jisung all squished together on Changbin’s couch, intently focusing on a random drama as their empty food containers lay on the table.
The main character runs, arrows flying at his form, and just as he gets to the girl, his love interest, an arrow pierces his chest. Changbin yells a small ‘no’ at that. The episode ends and Changbin turns to look at Chan and Jisung.
“I can’t believe they’d do that!” Changbin whines, pouty and sad, and Chan and Jisung turn to face him with a laugh.
“Ah Binnie I’m sure it’ll have a happy ending.” Jisung says, a bright smile on his face despite the small tear drops clinging to his lashes. Chan just laughs at them.
“You’re both so sensitive.” Chan says and Jisung pouts up at him, Chan leaning in to kiss him quickly. Changbin smiles at the exchange. His two friends had only gotten together recently after a drunken night out that had led to Jisung calling Chan and confessing. It had been messy, but Changbin had trusted them to sort it out – and they had.
“Oh shut up. I’m allowed to be.” Changbin playfully scoffs and Chan laughs at that, Jisung staring up at the oldest with stars in his eyes.
“That’s true.” Chan says once he’s calm downed. Jisung just stays clinging to his side and Changbin starts to feel a little bit of sadness creep into his mind at the sight. That was exactly how he used to be with Minho, clinging to him with a tight grip and a bright smile or a loud laugh, but now Minho was off somewhere else, maybe with someone else, and Changbin was stuck third wheeling with his well-meaning friends. Changbin takes a shaky breath, before speaking the thought that was plaguing his mind into existence.
“Do you, do you guys think Minho might be cheating on me?” The question makes the room go silent and Changbin hates it, hates the way everything seems to be going silent nowadays.
“I don’t know, Changbin. That doesn’t seem like Minho, not at all.” Jisung says, voice quiet, and Changbin hates that he ever had the thought, let alone said it out loud.
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know why I said that.” Changbin mutters. He’s gone and ruined the mood of the afternoon and now he feels utterly awful.
“Just talk to him tonight, Changbin. You need the answers more than anyone else.” Chan says, voice gentle and Changbin sniffles again, tears already welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill down his cheeks.
“Ah, why am I crying again?” Changbin whines and Jisung laughs softly, reaching across Chan’s lap to grab Changbin’s hand, gently caressing the skin there.
“It’ll be fine. And you’re allowed to cry Binnie.” Jisung says and Changbin smiles at him, a weak twitch of his lips, but Jisung smiles back despite it. “Now come on, let’s watch the final episode!” Jisung says, pulling away and snatching the remote from Chan’s lap. Changbin giggles at the protest Chan lets out as he wipes away his tears.
Changbin decides to focus on this moment here, with his friends and the messy beginnings of their relationship, whilst ignoring the potential messy end of his own.
Things will be fine.
*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*
After Chan and Jisung leave, saying their goodbyes and wishing him luck, Changbin settles on the couch. It’s 8pm and despite waking up at 1pm, he’s really tired. Today has been…difficult. But he has to stay awake, to wait until Minho comes home so he can finally confront him.
It doesn’t work. Changbin falls into sleep before he can stop himself. The couch beneath him is soft and warm and inviting and the gentle fabric of the pillows against his cheek don’t help.
When Changbin comes to, he vaguely registers the feeling of someone’s hand on his cheek and he slowly opens his eyes to see Minho staring down at him, a soft smile on his lips. He’s still in his work clothes, tie messily loosened around his neck and his blazer discarded on the coffee table behind him. Changbin tenses and sits up abruptly, jolting Minho, the older man’s hand falling from his cheek.
“Hello sleeping beauty.” Minho says, a large smile on his face and Changbin wants to give in to that smile, to let Minho kiss him numb and take him to bed in whichever way Minho desires, but Changbin was asleep on this couch for a reason, and he can’t be a coward and back down now.
“What time is it?” Changbin mumbles, sleep still trapped in his voice, and Minho quickly checks his watch.
“1:32am.” Minho responds, voice still quiet and sweet, like nothing is wrong, like he hasn’t been ignoring Changbin pretty much every day for the last two or three weeks.
“You finish work at 10pm…” Changbin trails off. His worries are burning up inside of him again, red hot and vicious.
“I know. Work has just been piling up recently.” Minho says and not even Changbin is dumb enough to believe such a bold-faced lie.
“So who is it?” Changbin asks and Minho looks at up him, still crouched on the floor, as confusion settles into his features. “Is it that blonde boy, Felix? Is it him?” Changbin’s voice goes then, tears slowly making tracks down his face, and he doesn’t care to stop them.
“What are you on about, Changbin?” Minho stands up then, sitting next to Changbin on the couch, but Changbin shuffles away, and Minho scoffs. “Seriously?”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you in person for two, maybe three, weeks! You’re gone before I wake up and you come home after I’m asleep. You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” Changbin yells then. His voice is broken, words hiccupped through gritted teeth, but he doesn’t care anymore. Not when Minho keeps acting like nothing is wrong, like Changbin has no reason to be upset.
“I’m not seeing someone else. Where the fuck did you get that idea from, Changbin?” Minho spits and he’s standing up now, pacing the room. It makes Changbin anxious. The fear of Minho’s anger builds up in his ribcage, latching around his sternum, sharp like thorny vines that dig in and leave their marks behind.
“You finish work at ten and I don’t typically sleep until midnight, you know that, but every time I go to bed, you’re not fucking there!” Changbin stands up too as he swears. He hates swearing at Minho, but considering Minho swore first, Changbin finds that he doesn’t care anymore. “So where the fuck are you? Where the fuck could you be other than fucking around with whichever slut it is at your office that piqued your interest?” Minho is fuming, Changbin can tell from the way the elder’s hands clench and the stony glare that settles on his features as he walks closer to Changbin.
“Shut up. Now.” Minho grits out and there’s a fearful look in his eyes that makes Changbin falter. Changbin huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m gonna sleep in the guest room tonight. Goodnight, Minho.” Changbin whispers as he walks away, tears forming in his eyes again.
“Baby, wait.” Minho calls after him and Changbin turns to face him then, fury in his mind, the tears spilling down his cheeks softening the clench in his jaw.
“Don’t call me that.” Changbin bites out, hating the sad look that crosses Minho’s face, before turning and running upstairs. He left his phone downstairs, but he doesn’t want to go back down again to get it, so he just stomps into the guest room and collapses on the bed, tears rapidly falling down his cheeks.
It doesn’t take long for sleep to pull him under once more.
*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*
Minho enters the main bedroom with a sigh. The sheets are still messed up from where Changbin hadn’t tidied them earlier and Minho smiles at the sight. Despite all that just occurred, Minho couldn’t find it within himself to be mad at Changbin, not anymore.
The younger had been hurt and it was Minho’s fault. It was going against everything he had promised Changbin when they had first gotten together.
--
“You promise you won’t hurt me?” Changbin asked, tears clumped in his lash line. Minho reached a hand up to gently wipe away the droplets threatening to spill down Changbin’s beautiful chubby cheeks.
“Of course not, Binnie. I refuse to be another jerk who hurts you.” Minho whispered and Changbin burst into a fresh wave of tears, collapsing into Minho’s arms.
“Thank you Min.” Changbin mumbled. Minho smiled, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of Changbin’s hair.
“Anytime, baby.”
--
Minho sighs at the memory, changing out of his work clothes. Changbin’s ex had been a nasty piece of work, and Minho had just wanted to save Changbin from him.
So why the fuck was he hurting him now? In his quest to find the perfect ring for Changbin, Minho had abandoned him, and now he was stuck dealing with the repercussions of that.
Once Minho is dressed, he goes to get into bed before remembering Changbin isn’t there, waiting for him with a big smile and parted arms, ready to be cuddled to sleep. A small part of Minho’s brain tells him to go and check on Changbin, and make sure the younger is okay, but he knows he can’t. Changbin had put a distance between them, and Minho had to respect that, at least for tonight.
As Minho looks at his lock screen, he sighs. The picture makes him reminisce back on when he wasn’t such an idiot. It’s a simple picture, Changbin resting his head on his arm with a smile on his face, but the adorable sight of it makes Minho’s heart clench. He looks at the picture one last time, tears coming to life on his lash line, before shutting his phone off and turning to sleep. In the silence of the room, Minho whispers one final sentence, unheard by everyone but him.
“I’m sorry, Binnie.”
*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*
When Changbin wakes up the next morning, the same gentle fingers are brushing over his cheek again, and he mentally prepares himself to deal with whatever bullshit excuse and apology Minho comes up with this time.
“Binnie, baby, I know you’re awake.” Minho whispers and Changbin scrunches his nose, rolling over to turn away from Minho. The older lets him, and Changbin appreciates that, glad that Minho knows when to stop. “You know we need to talk, right?” Minho says and Changbin huffs, finally opening his eyes before turning back around to stare at Minho. He has a soft smile on his face and Changbin feels his anger melt away at how scared Minho looks. Changbin sits up, pulling the covers tighter around his form, before swallowing back tears.
“Are you gonna tell me the truth?” Changbin asks, his voice stony and cold. He wants the truth from Minho, and if that means he has to put on this cold bitch persona, then so be it.
“Mhm. I promise. So will you listen to me?” Minho asks, voice shaky and Changbin feels his resolve slip.
“Of course, Min.” Changbin says, and Minho looks up at him then, still kneeling on the floor, and there’s tears lining his big brown eyes. Changbin resists the urge to coo.
“Thank you.” Minho starts, wiping away a few tears that were threatening to fall, before taking a deep, shuddering breath. “I’ve been working overtime, ridiculously so, to save up for your Christmas present. And I don’t know if that’s a good enough explanation at all, so please tell me if it isn’t.” Minho says and Changbin huffs. It’s really not.
“It’s not really a good enough explanation. You’ve never had to save up before…” Changbin trails off, biting his bottom lip in thought. Minho laughs breathily, shifting slightly on the floor, before continuing.
“Figured you’d say that. Well this present is very special. I was gonna wait until Christmas itself, but I don’t think that’s fair, not after the way I treated you last night.” Minho says, and Changbin looks at him again, confusion settled on his features.
“What do you mean?” Changbin whispers. The moment is somewhat peaceful, and he doesn’t want to break that atmosphere.
Minho shifts again, pulling something out of his pocket before bringing one leg up so he’s on one knee, and Changbin gasps, bringing his hands in front of his mouth.
“Seo Changbin, will you marry me?” Minho asks and Changbin cries then, the sounds muffled into his hands as he nods rapidly.
“Yes, a thousand times yes.” Changbin says before throwing himself into Minho’s arms, the older falling back with a soft ‘oof’, but he takes Changbin’s weight on top of him, and settles his arms around the younger’s waist.
“I’m sorry for not saying anything, baby.” Minho whispers into Changbin’s black hair. The younger shushes him, mumbles of ‘its okay’ and ‘it makes sense now’ and ‘just warn me next time’ leaving his lips. The two stay like that, arms around each other, until Changbin’s stomach grumbles and he pulls away with a shy giggle, cheeks painted red in embarrassment.
“Make me breakfast?” Changbin asks, lightly tilting his head with a cute pout on his lips, and when he looks this cute, who is Minho to say no? He lightly pats Changbin’s ass, signally the younger to stand up, and he quickly does, Minho following after.
“Before I do, we have a ring to put on your finger.” Minho says and Changbin squeals, holding his hand out to Minho. Minho laughs softly, quickly slipping the ring onto Changbin’s finger, the fit perfect. Changbin stares at him, wide eyed and smiley, and Minho just laughs before making his way to the kitchen. The younger follows after him, his footsteps soft against the carpet.
As Minho cooks, Changbin sits on the counter, happily chatting away and Minho enjoys the sound of his bright voice and happy laughter. When he’s content to leave things for a little bit, he makes his way over to Changbin, parting the younger’s knees and standing between them. Changbin giggles and pushes his face closer to Minho’s.
“Hi.” Changbin says and Minho smiles, gently pecking Changbin’s lips.
“Hello, baby.” Minho says in response and Changbin smiles again, leaning down to kiss Minho properly. They pull away after a little while, Minho turning back to focus on the food. He can hear Changbin get down off the side before sturdy arms wrap around his waist, Changbin’s head settling against his back. The words that Changbin says with his check pressed against Minho’s shoulder blade rumble through Minho’s chest, filling him with warmth and admiration.
“I love you, my wonderful husband.”
“I love you too.”