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The orange flames flickered in the fireplace as the evening outside of the Red Keep grew darker, wrapping the room in a warm golden glow.
Aegon sat in front of the fire, slowly sipping his wine, gaze lost in the crackling flames. Aemond stared at him from the dinner table where Ser Cole was talking in his direction about something he couldn't concentrate on, his attention focused only on his older brother.
After the battle at Rook's Rest, Aemond would often find him like this, staring into nothingness, drinking wine, and staring at the flames.
He would wonder what Aegon was thinking about, if his thoughts were of regret concerning that battle, maybe trying to understand what went wrong, what they could have all done better, how he could have prevented his injuries, how he could have still been king.
Dinner came to an end. Haelena, Daeron, and Criston took their leave, and servants cleared up what lately were very quiet family dinners.
"It's getting late, my son. It's time for you to rest." Alicent addressed Aemond softly, her hand resting on his arm.
"In a minute, mother." Aemond looked at her with a kind smile, "I wish to speak to Aegon first."
She looked over at her older son, a frown on her forehead, turning back to Aemond with a nod and a smile that tried to be encouraging if it weren't for the constant worry seeping through her expression.
"Nobody can get through to him the way you do." She squeezed Aemond's arm gently and gave him a kiss on the cheek, saying goodnight and leaving.
"I used to. I don't know about now." Aemond thought, bidding Alicent goodnight.
Aemond looked around, the crackling fire the only sound filling the now empty hall. His gaze turned back to Aegon, still staring at the fire, still sipping on his wine, seemingly indifferent to anything that had been going on around him.
He breathed in and slowly out to shake off some tension. Something had made them grow apart.
It had been almost eight months since the battle at Rook's Rest, but it felt like years, having somehow lost the closeness to him. His brother, his lover, his confidant, the love of his life.
He sat on the opposite side of the couch from his older sibling, looking at him for a while. Aegon just stared at the flames, expression blank.
The thin epidermis of his scars glistened in the light.
Aegon's wounds were slowly healing, but the burnt skin was there to stay, an eternal reminder of a battle that was won but had lost him almost everything.
"Mother is worried about you, Aegon." Aemond stated in a harsher tone than he intended, biting on his tongue, knowing he had already fucked up.
Aegon exhaled quickly from his nose as if to joylessly laugh at Aemond's words, shaking his head slightly.
"All she ever does is worry. About everything, I don't think about me in particular." He answered in a cracked voice, taking a sip and not meeting his brother's gaze.
A moment of silence followed, where Aemond felt tempted to get up and leave, anger bubbling in his stomach.
"And even if she did worry about me, she'd be the only one." Aegon scoffed, downing the remains of the wine and getting up slowly and groaning in pain to get a refill.
He felt a grip on his wrist, the tug preventing him from moving away. He turned round to see Aemond standing next to him, hand gripping him firmly, his arm lightly shaking with anger.
Aegon looked up from his wrist until he met Aemond's gaze staring right back at him. He knew his brother well enough to read every emotion going through his livid expression.
Exasperation, pain, frustration.
The tear that then escaped the violet eye gave away the real feeling that was hiding underneath all that anger.
He still loved him. So much. Probably too much.
"You idiot! Are you really this blind?" Aemond lashed out, regretting his words the moment they came out, watching his brother wince.
"Fuck you!" Aegon spat as he frowned, trying to pull his hand away from Aemond's grip, his strength not enough to succeed.
"You stopped caring long ago, brother!" Aegon's voice was shaky, his lip quivering.
Aemond's eye opened wide in shock, letting go of Aegon's wrist and turning to face the fireplace, knowing he couldn't look him in the eye. "You were the one who pushed me away!" he growled, turning his head to address his brother, not looking at him directly.
"You're the one who told mother you didn't want me visiting anymore." Aemond continued, his tone emptied of anger, now filled with sorrow.
"I-" he sighed deeply, looking up to prevent more tears from falling. "I was at your bedside every day. Every moment I could spare I ran to you."
He turned to finally face Aegon, seeing him standing frozen in the same spot he left him, crying silently and clenching his fists so hard his knuckles turned white.
Aemond walked up to him and took Aegon's face in his hands, the way his brother had done with him what seemed to be a lifetime ago.
"I tended to your wounds, bathed you, held you tight when you screamed because of your nightmares. You wouldn't let anyone else touch you, don't you remember?" Aemond looked at him from eye to eye, almost pleading for an affirmative response.
"And I would do it again, over and over. I would do anything for you."
They hadn't been physically this close in months, not since Aegon regained complete consciousness, not since Aegon pushed him away.
From one day to the other, Aemond was asked not to enter Aegon's chambers and to leave him alone. The one time he managed to push past the guards demanding an explanation, Aegon hid under the sheets and screamed at him to leave, leaving Aemond hurt and confused.
Aemond didn't go back to Aegon's chambers after that, spending all his time training and keeping up with his King Regent duties, trying to keep his mind off the anger and resentment that grew in him, day after day.
Even when Aegon got well enough to walk and join family dinners again, he would ignore Aemond. He would only speak to him when it had to be done, not to raise suspicious questions from their mother, knowing she would ask what was wrong between them until she got a satisfying answer.
He couldn't understand why his brother, the one with whom he shared all his harshest defeats and most glorious wins, the king he served so devotedly, the lover who moaned his name on so many moonlit nights, wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore.
"Why did you push me away, Aegon?" Aemond's voice was almost a whisper, his pride and anger pushed aside by the need for an answer, the need to have him close again, to fix whatever had come between them, to fix him.
Aegon let out a breath he had been holding for too long, his breath hitched by sobs, trying to look away, but the gentle grip Aemond had on his face didn't let him.
Trapped tears let loose, falling unevenly on Aegon's burnt skin.
"Aegon, please-"
"LOOK AT ME!" Aegon cried out, his distraught sobs echoing in the empty halls.
"I'm a cripple! I'm disfigured!" he whined, lifting his arms to place them on Aemond's shoulders, wincing in pain at the sudden movement.
"Why in Seven Hells would you want me now?"
Aegon's tone had dropped to a sorrowful whisper. "Why would my perfect, beautiful brother waste his time with the useless shell of a man I have become?"
His gaze never left his brothers as he spoke. Aemond saw in his hopeless violet eyes the seriousness of Aegon's words.
He really meant every single word.
"And as a fool, I hoped you would still come back, even when I told you to leave and never come back" Aegon was sobbing more and more, his own words fueling the tears.
"I just thought you moved on, tired of my condition, tired of my bullshit," he sighed deeply, "tired of me."
Aemond felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. How could Aegon ever think something like this? How could have they wasted so much time on such a stupid misunderstanding? Did their stubbornness and pride lead them to this?
He softly rubbed his thumb on Aegon's scars, leaning in and replacing his finger with his lips, placing a tender kiss on the spiderweb of blemished skin that was his brother's cheek.
"This is my fault." Aemond sighed, leaning his forehead against his brother's for a moment.
He pulled back, just to look at him in a way he hadn't done in months, staring at him like the most precious thing in the world.
"I should have insisted. I should have kicked that door in and held you and never let you go."
The corners of his mouth curled in an affectionate smile as he pointed at his left eye. "And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty ruined myself."
Aegon's eyes fluttered and smiled ever so slightly, making his younger brother melt at the sight of it, making him fall in love all over again, so deeply and desperately for everything that Aegon was.
Aemond felt all the tension that had built up in Aegon's body melt under his touch, a liberating breath leaving his mouth.
Aemond caught it with his own, his lips capturing the ghost of all the awful thoughts Aegon ever had, wanting to set him free of anything that could ever hurt him.
"There is nothing, and I swear on the Seven, NOTHING, that could ever make me love you less, Aegon."
Aemond softly spoke, wrapping his arm around his brother's waist, gently pulling him closer, watching as new tears fell from his brother's eyes. He knew these tears were different, having left all rancour behind.
He kissed him again delicately, slowly. Aegon hummed quietly against his lips, running his hand in Aemond's hair and placing his hand on the back of his head, the tenderness of the moment making up for all the time they had lost.
"I'm sorry. About everything." Aegon breathed, "I was so afraid I'd lost you." He added, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. As he lowered it, Aemond caught in his own, bringing it back up to kiss his knuckles.
"I'm not going anywhere, my love." Aemond entwined their fingers together. "We have many more years ahead to live, me and you. Together, against the world."
Aegon chuckled in relief, the merry sound filling the room, only to be silenced by another long, devoted kiss.