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Consciousness came slowly, peacefully. Caitlyn woke so gently she wasn’t aware how long it was before she tried opening her eyes and fully realize she was awake. She didn’t feel a panic or disturbance, it was a soft brush of awareness like fingers running through hair. Even though the dark of the middle of night still engulfed the space around her, she couldn’t feel upset for waking up. She was rested and content, a settled feeling deep in her whole being, unfathomably pleasant compared to her day. It pulled a soft, barely there smile at the corners of her mouth.
Caitlyn closed her eyes once more, the dark making it impossible for her to make out the pictures she knew were hung only inches away from her face. She knew them all by heart anyway. She had spent enough time in Vi’s bed to have that privilege. Other pictures and posters seemed to be in a constant rotation throughout the cluttered apartment, but the ones above the bed never changed. They were the important ones, Vi had said, the ones that brought her sanctuary, helped her fall sleep, helped her get out of bed.
No, Caitlyn didn’t need light to see the square photo of Vi and Jinx—in rare form—with arms draped around each other with care and love, grins splitting their faces that made the family resemblance so strong it tugged a wistful string of Caitlyn’s heart that, even after everything, she could not ignore. The largest photo of the set was a landscape of the Firelight’s great tree. It was taken during the burning orange light of approaching sunset, making the leaves alight as tiny, green glowing bugs fluttered in and out, chased by the larger green glows of their humanoid kin on their hoverboards. The last picture was a hand drawn charcoal sketch. In a lot of ways it was simple and quiet compared to the others, but the feeling in it was as loud as an explosion.
Vi had done it herself one late morning when they could have been in Freljord for how far away the rush of Piltover had felt. It was of Caitlyn, stretched out amongst the mess of blankets and sheets of her bed in the Kiramman manor. She had been watching Vi curled up on the bench by her window, unaware of what she had been sketching. She had just been happy to watch her girlfriend haloed by the morning light, tracing the line of her brow, and nose, and mouth as she concentrated. It was in that moment that Caitlyn found the definition of words like serenity, and rapture, and love.
Vi had told her, back when Caitlyn had first noticed the drawing above her bed and asked why she didn’t use a photograph instead, that a camera was inadequate to capture the emotion she had blooming from her chest, that she had never looked so beautiful, and Vi was reverent that it was her hand that was able to immortalize the moment. Caitlyn fell in love all over, and she almost asked for drawing then and there, to hold something that may as well have been Vi’s physical heart for all it meant, but Caitlyn could never take her peace. Instead, she just kissed her until they redefined worship.
Finally, Caitlyn opened her eyes once more. Rolling over she found the space in bed next to her empty. Her previous smile dropped, although, she couldn’t say she was surprised; the bed had lacked its signature tilt of extra weight and the blankets were soft, but lacking heat. Slowly, she dragged her eyes through the shadows of Vi’s apartment. The open floorplan made it easy to quickly identify where her girlfriend was not, even in the dark. So, instead she searched with her ears, listening for sounds of heavy fists slamming into leather and the soft rattling of chain that held Vi’s heavy bag, or the sounds of running water in the bathroom. The apartment was eerily absent of sound. Even the pump of Vi’s aquarium wasn’t humming as it normally did.
That thought pricked at Caitlyn and she eased herself out of the bed, careful not to hit her head on the ridiculously low overhead. She crouched at the edge of the loft once she got her feet to the floor, ignoring the cold on her bare legs. Leaning her head past the edge she finally found where her girlfriend had gone off to.
Vi stood in front of her aquarium in a sleeveless shirt, sweatpants, and socks. Her front was gently illuminated by the aquarium’s soft nightlight. Vi had pulled her work cart over and loaded it with two large, clear buckets of water. In one bucket she was carefully depositing her jellyfish as she scooped them out of the aquarium tank one at time. Each time Vi pulled one out she would gently tap the top of its bell, her lips barely moving as she breathed out each one’s name. Vi wouldn’t even dare a whisper while Caitlyn was supposed to be asleep. One side of Caitlyn’s mouth curled upward with affection as she watched her girlfriend tend to her jellyfish and made sure to give them their due attention.
Caitlyn always wondered how Vi was able to tell which jellyfish was which, they all looked the same. Yet, when asked Vi could point out and name each one without hesitation or mistake. Caitlyn only knew Francois, who was easy to identify because his bell had been slightly disfigured after an unfortunate incident with the air pump. It warmed her heart to watch Vi care for jellyfish with so much love. It was just another example of that soft heart that so many seemed quick to dismiss in the hotheaded enforcer. Caitlyn never forgot, but she was happy for reminders.
“So, is this a time sensitive task?” Caitlyn asked after she watched Vi scoop out the last of the jellyfish.
Vi started with a small jump of her shoulders and her head immediately snapped up, having ton lean back some to meet Caitlyn’s eye. Vi watched her for moment as her surprise calmed into the realization that she was fully awake and had been watching her. Then she dropped her head toward the floor and looking about all the equipment she had pulled out around her. She gave a small shrug, still not looking at Caitlyn, and said, “I mixed the new water yesterday.”
Caitlyn simply hummed in response. She noted the quiet in Vi’s voice, the diminutive stature of her posture, something young in the profile of her face.
It had been a long and hard day. For both of them. There was tension since the moment they walked into the station, piled upon with strain as soon as they hit the streets. There had been an emergency call, one Caitlyn had anticipated, but had hoped she’d have more time to resolve before it blew up and became the mad rush they had earlier that day. Yet, for all her preparing she could not head it off and they found themselves fighting amongst raging fires. There had been no losses, not accounting property, but there had been close calls—too many and far too close for either Vi or Caitlyn’s liking. So, once everything was under control and they could leave without risk, they walked back hand in hand to Vi’s apartment. There they chased away burdens as one does a chill, with heat and proximity.
That had been mostly for Caitlyn. Vi required a slightly different recipe.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Caitlyn asked, quiet and gentle, as weightless as the jellyfish in the water. There was no judgement or accusation in her care.
“It was too still,” Vi said, “didn’t want to wake you.” She tilted her back to meet Caitlyn’s gaze once more. Her eyes looked colorless in the reflected glow of the aquarium. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Caitlyn shook her head, long, loose strands swaying lightly as she hung her head over the ledge. “No. Not at all.” Vi’s brow did not relax from its pinched posture, so Caitlyn added, “keep doing what you were doing. I’m fine.”
They maintained a silent staring contest for a few more breaths. The problem was Vi knew she could never win. She was a being of action, constant motion. Caitlyn had been trained sniper for eyes. She knew how to keep her eyes steady, open, and her body still, waiting endlessly. As Caitlyn could never figure out how to win a game of speed slap, Vi never had hope of winning a staring contest. With a heavily forced exhale Vi turned back to the aquarium tank and began to set up the pump to drain out some of the water. She tried to subtly glance back at Caitlyn a few times, more than likely to see if the noise of the pump was a bother, but Caitlyn only offered small smiles as she watched her girlfriend go through the routine of cleaning the tank.
Satisfied Vi would continue on with her work, Caitlyn stood up. She stretched her body, long arms extending far above her head. She took a moment to ground herself within her body. She pleasantly hummed at the feeling of being fully at ease within herself. A feeling that had been absent for much of her early life. She knew it had a lot to do with being here, being with Vi—a woman who knew how to trust herself, could identify individual jellyfish, and talked to her equipment as if them understanding her curse laden threats would actually make the nut thread on. Caitlyn tried to shake the smile off her face as she heard Vi grumble at the O-ring on the hose fitting down below. Having received her permission to work, to clean—to fix things—she wasn’t shy to let her voice rise some in the quiet of the apartment.
A shiver down Caitlyn spine had her reaching for the housecoat she kept at Vi’s apartment. A nearly full wall window did little for insulation in the open space. Pulling the soft fabric tight around her, she made her way to the stairs that lead from the loft to the main floor of the apartment. Her bare feet softly slapping against the wood floors.
“What are you doing?” Vi asked, sudden and concerned. She had stepped back from under the loft to watch Caitlyn.
“I was going to make some tea to help me fall back asleep,” Caitlyn answered. She didn’t stop her journey, already making her way down the steps.
“I could’ve gotten it for you,” Vi said. “You didn’t need to get out of bed.”
Caitlyn shot her an amused look. “I was already out of bed. Besides,” she continued as Vi began to open her mouth, “you’re busy, and I don’t need my tea to smell of marine life.”
Vi made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat. Tension pulled one side of her jaw tight. Her eyes were hard with protest, but struggled with the silence to find words that could divert Caitlyn from her path as she slowly walked towards her. Caitlyn placed one hand on Vi’s shoulder, the other cupped her jaw, easing it unclench and stop grinding down that beautiful smile of hers. She leaned in to press a firm kiss to the corner Vi’s mouth. She could feel Vi melt into the contact, into everything unspoken in the gesture.
“Come, now,” Caitlyn whispered as she pulled way just enough to look into her eyes, breath feather light against Vi’s cheek. “You don’t want to leave your jellyfish in that bucket all night.”
Vi gave a small nod in response, a small smile carving itself into the curve of her lips. Her hand trailed along Caitlyn’s waist as she stepped away, reluctant to let go. They watched each other as Caitlyn walked backwards to Vi’s kitchen. Soft gazes and silent promises, reassurances. Then came the point when Caitlyn was forced to turn around a they both set about their tasks.
Caitlyn was content to silently watch Vi work as she prepared her tea. To watch her girlfriend slowly unwind as she became set in the meditative motions of cleaning out the tank. She watched as whatever negative presence still clung to Vi’s edges dissipated into the air. Dark shadows chased away by aquarium lights.
When Caitlyn had finished her tea and crawled back into Vi’s bed, she fell asleep to the sounds of Vi’s gentle voice talking to her jellyfish she carefully placed them back in their home—now cleaned and refreshed. She only woke one more time that night as Vi came back to bed to press herself close, arms wrapping around Caitlyn’s thinner frame. Vi’s hands smelled faintly of saltwater, but it was a peaceful scent—the smell of saline, of burdens wiped clean. Caitlyn would never begrudge Vi for leaving the bed and tending to her jellyfish. She would never take away Vi’s peace. She only meant to bring it.
Which is why she had bought the jellyfish for her in the first place.