Chapter Text
Raven hurries up the driveway as much as her leg allows her to. She knows Lexa will take pity on her and spare her of any rage, but Clarke won’t be as magnanimous. That’s what years of friendship does to a person, she guesses, gives them the possibility of being unapologetically mean.
She lets herself into the house and follows the loud chatter from the living room. Clarke and Lexa are sitting together on the armchair, huddled close, even closer since they announced their wedding. Octavia and Echo share the couch instead and they are so engrossed into the conversation that they don’t notice her until she takes a few steps into the room.
As her stomach grumbles - she forgot once again to eat lunch - she makes her way into the room, throwing herself on Octavia and Echo who just whine from the added weigh on their bellies.
“Raven” Octavia complains “Why can’t you never say hello like a normal person?”
Raven adjusts her position on the couch, wiggling her butt in between them. Echo just lets her, now accustomed by her roommate’s behavior. “That would be too boring” she turns to the couple in the room “What did I miss?” she asks.
She can’t quite keep up with all the wedding preparation, so she always tries to get updated when she’s in Clarke and Lexa’s presence.
She tried to follow the texts exchange from the ‘Clexa Weds’ chat they’re all part of but after one text turned into a hundred unread ones she just gave up and now she catches up whenever she meets Clarke or Lexa.
“Nothing much” Clarke answers for both her and Lexa “we were just showing Echo and Octavia pictures of the venue and…”
“Oh, so we finally have a location” Raven voices from her still laying position.
“Yes!” Clarke and Lexa both say excitedly.
“Cool, what else?”
Clarke gives Lexa a worried look but doesn’t speak. Raven exchanges a quick glance with Echo but the girl just shakes her head, waiting for Lexa to speak. “I…” she starts hesitant “There’s a thing I wanted to do before the wedding. I want to find my sister” Lexa lets out, as if she just got herself a weight off her shoulder “I’d like to have her there with me.”
They all know Lexa’s story. Not with many details, but they all know she was in foster care when she was little and that Lexa lost the girl she considered, and still considers, her sister a few years back. They didn’t know how but from what Clarke told her, Raven only knew that the girl had disappeared from Lexa’s life one day and never came back.
Lexa never forgot her and now that her wedding was drawing near, she wanted to have closure and she wanted to have the people she loved by her side and her sister was one of them, even if some years had passed.
“Cool” Echo says after a beat “Whatever you need, we’ll help you with it”
Octavia nodded “Yeah, just say the word and we’ll be there”
Raven nods too but before she can utter a word her stomach grumbles. Loudly.
They all look at her, but she just shrugs and gets up. “Gonna raid your kitchen! Be right back” she throws behind her shoulder, making her way to the fridge as if it was her own house. She hears Clarke calling for her, telling her to not make a mess. She rolls her eyes, she is tidy when she wants to.
She finds some Chinese leftover that she heats up and puts into a plate. She grabs a coke and head back into the living room, this time sitting on the floor and putting her plate on the coffee table between the couch and the armchair.
“Okay, so we have to look for sister dearest. Easy peasy, what else?”
“I have to make some errands tomorrow” Clarke says looking between the three of them, hoping that one of her friends will volunteer to help her. There’s a lot to do so whenever possible one of them help Clarke or Lexa out.
Raven finds Clarke’s gaze, mid chew. She swallows. “I can’t. I have my first da/aa meeting tomorrow”
Echo gives her pat on the shoulder “you’re finally going?”
Raven nods “Yeah, my therapist thought it’d be good, you know, for the healing process and to understand the fucked-up relationship me and my mom had.” She waves a hand in the air “Whatever”
“I’m very proud of you Raven” Clarke tells her, a clear look of pride on her face.
She knows how much Raven has suffered and this is another step into the right direction, another step that Raven has been taking since she has stared therapy.
Raven feels herself flush, she takes another bite to hide her face. She know they are all very proud of her and they love her but she doesn’t deal well with emotion so she tries to hide as much as she can into her plate.
“Thanks” she mumbles.
The decision to go to a meeting had been a hard and difficult one. Her therapist thought that hearing other people’s life story and gaining news perspective on the touchy subject that her mom was could be helpful. Raven wasn’t an addict, but she had found an DA and AA meeting open to everyone who needed help and to people who were losing their loved ones to addiction.
Pondered to the bone, the decision had been made the last time Raven went to her therapist and then it was settled.
That same week she was going to attend an AA meeting.
Raven expected walls bare of any kind of poster, artificial lights that hurt just by looking at them. She expected to find a cold and almost void space, stripped from any form of warmth feelings, with chairs arranged into a circle and a sad stained parquet.
Instead, she finds walls covered with poster of all kinds, some are clearly made by kids and some other are more peculiar, abstract art and beautiful bucolic paintings. There’s a table set near the entrance, adorned with foods, from cookies to coffee and tea. The atmosphere is light, some people are chatting in groups and some other – Raven guesses the first timer – are sitting alone in their seat, scrolling through their phones, or looking at their surroundings.
There’s a stand placed in front of all the chair and Raven is already feeling the anxiety cursing through her veins at the thought of being called over, feeling like a teenager in a classroom, having a plethora of eyes looking at her.
She swallows and tries to get comfortable, the meeting only last fifty minutes. She can do this.
She walks over to the food table, torn on what to get. Food is always a comfort for her so putting something in her stomach is the best next step. There are a lot of options, a lot of dishes filled with amazing delicacy.
She sees a slim hand reaching out for the coffee maker with the corner of her eye and then a low voice fills her ear “Sorry”
The voice belongs to a very attractive woman. High cheekbones and a jaw that should be studied in art class frame her face. Her eyes are cast low, focused on the coffee spilling out of the kettle and into the mug she is holding. When her eyes fall into hers, Raven sees honey and earth mixed together. Hazel eyes regards her with kind curiosity. She’s taller than her and lean, she’s beautiful, almost to the point of intimidation. Her gestures are poised, slow but elegant and Raven thinks of the Greek goddess Hestia for a split second before realizing the woman is talking to her.
“Sorry, what?” Raven asks.
“First time?” the woman repeats herself.
Raven nods, “is it really that obvious?”
“You did take more than five seconds to decide whether to get coffee or tea. A novice mistake,” she says offering Raven a cup “always go for the coffee” the woman recommends her.
Raven smiles, she likes this girl. “Noted”
She opens her mouth again but is interrupted by a woman that is now standing at the lectern. All the participants are taking their seats and the woman from before is now gone. When Raven manages to find her into the crowd, there are no available seats next to her so Raven decides to hang in the back, hoping to see how the meeting plans out and to be an anonymous participant.
The woman that is leading the meeting is a nice lady. Her hair is styled into multiple braids and her aura strikes confidence but also kindness. She speaks loud and clear, telling them that whoever wants to talk is welcome to do so and whoever wants to just sit, and listen is welcome just the same. She does say that speaking, although not forced, is highly recommended.
The meeting continues smoothly, Raven hears people speaking of their own experience, some more openly than others. Everyone has something in common here, they are all people that struggled at some point but the underlying feeling beneath it all is not pain or grief or shame, it is one of understanding. They’re here to heal, not to be judged and Raven feels herself relax.
It is a good place to start.
Raven doesn’t understand how Clarke managed to land Lexa. Actually, she does, Clarke is awesome and lovely and the best person she knows but seriously, Lexa is beautiful, strong, she is hard working and compassionate and most importantly she can cook. For Raven, that alone is enough. If Clarke gets cold feet and doesn’t marry her, she will.
“Mmmh, so good”
Clarke regards her with an incredulous look, a mix between disbelief and appeasement. “Are you done making love with that purée?”
Raven shakes her head and takes another spoonful of food just to annoy Clarke. “Nope, this it too good, seriously, how are you not moaning now?”
“I eat Lexa’s food everyday” Clarke answers, clearly now used to Lexa’s extraordinary cuisine.
“Lucky bitch” Raven comments, belly full.
“Thanks Raven” Lexa voices from near Clarke. She always appreciates comments on her cuisine, especially when it comes from Raven even if she makes obscene noises while doing so.
“How is the sister dearest research going?” Raven asks around a spoon of grilled mushrooms.
Lexa sighs and Clarke puts a hand on thigh, comforting her. “Not that well. She doesn’t seem to be on any social, I even tried Facebook but no luck. It’s like I’m looking for a ghost”
“That’s weird” Raven voices out loud.
“That’s Anya” Lexa responds “I’m actually not that surprised though. She wasn’t into social media back when we were younger either, but it was worth a shot”
“So what’s next?”
“We’ll make a few phone calls” Clarke answers for Lexa, searching for her lover’s eyes and nodding when their gazes meet “search like the good old days”
“Yeah” Lexa nods.
“We’ll find her” Clarke encourages Lexa. She turns to Raven then, keeping her hold on Lexa’s hand “How did the meeting go?”
Raven swallows, “Good, I mostly listened to other people’s life stories, but it went well” she thinks about the welcoming room, hazel eyes, and the warmth she felt “it’s nothing like I imagined but it’s good. I’ll go again next week” she tells them.
“Good” Clarke comments, gives her an open proud smile. “I’m glad”
Raven smiles back.
“Me too”
Raven walks more confidently into the room. She knows where the table food is (which is the most important thing for her), her favorite seat is empty, and she knows what to expect now. She still feels nervous but less than the first time. She can follow the step she already took the last time.
She makes a beeline for the food table and immediately pour herself a cup of coffee, following the nameless woman advice. She’s deciding between a cookie and a muffin when the same woman from the previous time interrupts her pondering.
She’s carrying a round baking dish, that smells delicious, and Raven immediately forgets the cookies and the muffins and everything that is on the table.
“Hey” the woman greets her placing the baking dish on the table. She takes off the silver foil to reveal a gorgeous and mouth-watering blueberry pie.
“That looks amazing” Raven says, drooling at the sight.
“Thanks” the woman says giving her a little smile.
“Is that how all this food come onto the table?” Raven asks.
The woman nods, she grabs a knife from the cutlery cup and starts cutting the pie into even slices. “Yeah, that muffins you were eyeing before…” Raven blushes, she thought she was being subtle “…Greg made them…” she then gestures towards the cookies with the knife “…Taylor baked the cookies and Victoria brought the pastries” she finishes, offering a slice of pie to Raven “we all bring something to the meeting, so the table is always full”
“Oh” Raven says taking the pie “now I feel bad, I didn’t bring anything”
The woman waves her hands “It’s fine. It isn’t a written rule, if you can, you bring something and if you can’t, you’re still welcome. It’s just so we always have something to eat, some of us don’t have enough money to eat so we try to provide food for those who can’t” she explains.
Raven thinks it’s lovely. She realizes now, seeing all these people together, that the place feels more like a home than her own house ever was growing up. It’s lovely and not all what she expected, once again she’s taken aback by all these people seem to be doing for each other.
She looks at the other woman, taking her in more clearly. Her hair is tied in a messy ponytail, but she still looks gorgeous. She’s dressed in simple jeans and white converse that make her seem younger – she’s probably a few years older than Raven – and she has a simple white shirt on. Raven can see the bold lines of a tattoo, it’s not intricate but still sits perfectly on her arm.
“That’s lovely” Raven comments.
The woman nods and then holds out her hand for Raven to shake. “Anya Basnet”
Something goes off in Raven’s mind at hearing that name. She tries to keep her cool and, putting her mug down, she shakes Anya’s hand. “Raven Reyes” she gestures to the pie in her hand. “and this is so good” she shamelessly takes a bite “are you some sort of pie whisperer?”
Anya chuckles, “something like that” she says enigmatically.
They are interrupted once again. Nari, the same woman who spoke the last time Raven was here – Raven learned her name quickly - takes her place at the stand and starts the meeting. Anya excuses herself and goes to take the same seat as last time, second row, center seat and Raven seats at her comfortable and out of the spot place.
She feels a little disappointed that they didn’t get to share more but she’s not here for that, she tells herself, she’s here to heal.
She takes the last bite of the pie and throws the napkin in the trash.
Ugh, mouth-watering.