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1. The Language Thing
Look, Professor Gadling being a secret immortal cryptid has already reached peak meme status. The Gdoc is a rabbit hole to get lost in on a rainy day.
But Professor Murphy? Hooo boy. The students are just getting started.
Nobody calls Professor Murphy by his given name of “Thomas.” Like, you could try, but he’s not going to respond to you, as if the name was just something tacked on for the sake of appearances.
One of the class overheard Professor G calling Professor Murphy “Dream.” Now, everyone initially thought that it was just another adorable pet name (there’s a running list of them in the Gdoc). But then another student who had been getting drinks at the New Inn had overheard this sweet little boy calling him “Uncle Dream.” Go figure.
Here’s the thing, though, “Murphy” is an Irish name but there isn’t a trace of the Gaelic’s music in his accent, proper RP that it normally is. Unless you’re an Irish student and suddenly, there’s the lilt and the sweetness of the Goídelc in his voice when he talks to you, echoes of the tales of the Children of Lir and Cu Chulainn, best heard as the bards sung them.
The language thing doesn’t stop there. Professor Murphy seems to inexplicably know every language ever spoken, happily chatting away in a mix of Tagalog and English with the Filipino students, Welsh with the kids from Wales, French and Italian and Polish and Russian and Swahili and Igbo - circumnavigating the globe as neatly as you please without losing any stride. And then, going back in time, as it were, straight to Middle English.
Middle English, as everyone knew, was the language Professor Gadling tended to slip into from time to time. There was something unbearably sweet about how Professor G would refer to his husband as myne owne hertis rote, only for Professor Murphy to answer with my heart’s gleam and that lovely little smile. But one hadn’t lived until they heard both Professors absently talk to each other in Middle English as if they’d been born speaking that language and had temporarily forgotten that they were already in the 21st century.
(Obviously, the whole Middle English thing went straight into the "evidence" pile of Professor G's supposed immortal cryptid status.)
Suspicions about Professor Murphy being a vampire abounded, until they had all seen him walking in sunlight, with Matthew the Raven on his shoulder. Then it became rumors about Murphy being a Twilight-variant of vampire because he literally glowed in the sun. And had so obviously sent poor Professor Gadling dot exe crashing at the sight.
This conversation also happened:
“Who is Edward Cullen and why would he sparkle? And why would all of you be Bella Swan?”
All of the students look at each other. And then:
“I will fong the first person who explains Twilight to poor Professor Murphy, I swear to Christ, I will fong you.”
“Perhaps I should ask Matthew.”
“Caw! Nevermore!”
2. The Raven Thing
One of Professor Gadling’s classes had taken a trip to the Tower of London and Professor Murphy had just tagged along, much to his husband’s delight.
Every. Single. Raven. from the Tower had just converged on Murphy as if he were their long lost King or something, cuddling close, cawing in delight. Pictures and vids were taken. Murphy had simply led the ravens over as he settled on a nearby bench, gently petting each of them in turn and chiding them when they got too rowdy. Hilariously, they obeyed him, much to the Ravenmaster's surprise.
"My husband the Goth Disney Princess," Professor Gadling was heard to say, chortling.
"I resemble that remark, dearest," Professor Murphy had answered, raising an imperious eyebrow. There was a Promise of Serious Consequences in that Look, dire and terrible, but it seemed that Professor Gadling was thoroughly going to enjoy reaping what he'd just sown later.
Matthew was so obviously, adorably jealous during the whole thing, as he had stubbornly maintained his place at Professor Murphy's right shoulder, flapping his wings and refusing to give up his place to any other raven who tried to take it from him.
Somebody swore that they heard a distinctly American voice holler: “HEY! CLAWS OFF, YOU ASSHOLES! GET YOUR OWN DREAM KING!”
Sometimes, the students could swear up and down that Matthew the Raven could really, truly, talk. Professor Murphy and his raven have often been seen sitting together, often with Murphy apparently showing the bird something on his smart phone or tablet, deep in discussion with him.
Everyone tried very hard not to think about this too deeply, especially since Murphy would often return to the classroom with a better understanding of current jokes and memes once he’d had a “conversation” with Matthew.
3. The Eldritch Abomination Thing
“Darling, why do you have a plushie of …. good lord, is this Cthulhu?”
“A gift from my students, my love. We had a rather engrossing lecture on Lovecraft the other day.”
“Oh. Oh no. Don’t tell me you had the same sort of thing going with him as you did with bloody Shaxbert!”
A huff. “Certainly not. Such a small-minded young man, utterly arrogant - though he did have potential. I thought to teach him a lesson by showing him how insignificant he truly was in the infinite vastness of the universe. His mind almost broke from it.”
“Ah. And where does Cthulhu come into this?”
“Lovecraft had a horror of marine creatures, specifically those of the class Cephalopoda. I often took the form of this creature in my nightmare aspect. The wings were an inspired touch, I believe. He was near out of his mind with terror - some of my finest work.”
“Of course you were bloody Cthulhu, why am I not surprised? My adorable little eldritch abomination…”
“Hob Gadling, there is nothing adorable about me – hnnghkaldjfkjadl!”
4. The Prince of Stories Thing
Rose Walker’s first novel Into the Night was a best seller and readers everywhere rejoiced when they heard it would become a series. Readers also fell in love with the enigmatic King of Dreams, the antagonist in Ms. Walker’s book. He wasn't actually an evil villain, but was caught in the role he had to play against the heroine of the series and seemed genuinely regretful of his actions.
(There was meta, tons of it, sent out and reblogged numerous times in Tumblr-land and other social media.)
It helped that the voice actor who did the audio book for Rose did such an incredible job portraying the role of the King of Dreams, having this remarkable voice with such an unusual tonal quality. One reviewer had described it as "the voice that you hear in your head when you're just about to sleep, seducing you into the land of Dreams and Nightmares."
Thus, the second novel in the series, The Prince of Stories, was eagerly awaited by many. Once again, the same mysterious voice actor did the audiobook, which quickly climbed to the top of the charts in all the platforms of its release. But what drove Professor Murphy’s students into a tizzy was Ms. Walker’s dedication: “For Uncle Dream, our Prince of Stories” and the following exchange:
“Professor Murphy, we didn’t know you were a fan of Rose Walker.”
A proud smile. “My niece has quite the story to tell. I’ve been looking forward to reading her next book.”
“You’re Rose Walker’s Uncle Dream?!”
It was soon agreed by Professor Murphy's students that they were going to protect their cryptid wet cat of a teacher from the worst aspects of fandom at all costs.
The following scene also never happened. At least, that was what agreed upon, if only for the sake of collective sanity.
Perhaps because it was the Winter Solstice and tradition had it that it was one of those times during the year when the veil between the mundane and the magical was quite thin. The three students who had witnessed this were fairly sure that they were absolutely awake, sober and maybe, just maybe, had a little bit too much coffee, because they had an exam to study for and it was for Professor Gadling's class to boot.
They were quite sure that they did see Professor Murphy gliding past them in his long familiar black coat, about to turn into a corridor that everyone knew led to an old, unused classroom and was otherwise a dead end.
And then, they blinked and Professor Murphy was no longer dressed in his usual elegant Goth wardrobe. This time, he looked like he stepped out of some fantastical kingdom, in robes that were the exact color of the sky at midnight, with a multitude of tiny, twinkling stars. There were jewels in his dark hair, almost like a crown and a long silver earring curved around the shell of one ear, its jeweled threads trailing down one shoulder.
Here was the Prince of Stories, the King of All Night's Dreaming.
And waiting for him, incongrous in his usual professor's attire of coat, slacks and the scarf that Professor Murphy had crocheted for him, was Professor Gadling.
"Hullo, love."
"Dearest."
The inevitable kiss resulted in Professor Gadling looking like he'd stepped out of some Regency romance novel, or perhaps a rather roguish Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. He chuckled. "Ah. I imagine there's a role you wish me to play tonight, my King?"
A rather wicked smile curved Professor Murphy's lips. "Let us just say that I wish to teach a certain member of the Fae Court a lesson against meddling in my affairs...and attempting to harm those in my care."
"As my King commands."
The door to the unused classroom swung open and the students who had inadvertently witnessed everything caught a glimpse of some brightly lit room, with seemingly endless rows of books, before the door swung shut.
Yes, the door opened to the expected empty, dusty classroom when they tried it.
"We just saw all that, right?"
"Yep."
"And we're not going to talk about our magical cryptid professors to anyone, right?"
"No, we're not. I have seen this movie, and we're not going to get yeeted into some fantasy dreamworld kingdom, not unless we're the secret unknowing heroines of some magical girl anime."
"Nah, we don't have the hair and eyes for it. And we still have that exam to study for."
An agreement was reached.
They did have rather sweet, restful dreams that night, which helped them ace that history exam.
-end-