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Aegon remembered his family celebrating Christmas together ever since he was a child.
They probably did even before he was born, but he also remembered that he never liked holidays for that very reason. He spent all Christmas day drowning in alcohol in a desperate attempt to put an end to that delirious day.
He didn't like spending time with any of his family, except his younger brother, Aemond. As children, Aegon teased him very often, even for the silliest things, whether it was the fact that the youngest couldn't ride a bike, or that he was much smarter than him.
How was it said? Envy is a snake? Well, Aegon was quite envious of his brother, but over the years they had learned to coexist and watch out for each other. Aegon thought Aemond was the only one who could figure out how he was feeling, and indeed the youngest did.
One Christmas tradition Aegon hated was that of the "family blanket". Every Christmas one of the Targaryens had to add a patch to the blanket, making it bigger and bigger and full of memories. That blanket was probably at least a century old, but that didn't stop Aegon from wanting to burn it every time he saw it.
It was such a stupid tradition that it made his blood run cold.
His family had been split in half for years, and flaunting such a sanctimonious tradition made him sick to his stomach. No one at that big table, where he now sat, put up with each other, so why pretend everything was fine?
Just as Aegon was taking a bite of his meat pie, he heard his name spoken by his father. He looked up at him, still fork in hand, and slowly chewed the food in his mouth.
"Aegon, son, it's your turn to enrich the blanket this year!"
Aegon swallowed without saying anything. He wanted to scream and throw a glass on the floor, but he knew he would just make the situation worse, so he laughed bitterly and poured himself another goblet of wine.
✦
After the Christmas Eve dinner, everyone had disappeared to their rooms, except Aegon, who was in the living room, alone with the fireplace, some wine and the infamous blanket. He eyed it, not even knowing what to do with it.
All the previous patches seemed to represent something inherent in his family: a dragon—the emblem of the Targaryens since centuries, at least—, something red, something black, and, since his mother had married his father, something green too. Those were the colors that represented his family, but Aegon had never liked them, perhaps for that very reason.
He was so focused on looking at the blanket as if he wanted to throw it in the garbage, that he didn't notice that someone was approaching him.
"Looks like you want to burn it instead of sewing something on it."
Aegon recognized the voice immediately, and a smile spread across his lips. "It doesn't look like I want to burn it, I want to burn it." He answered, then turned his face towards the direction his voice was coming from, finding Aemond's figure with his eyes.
His brother smirked at him, then sat down next to him on the couch. "You should do it then." Aegon wrinkled his nose, sighing. "I cannot."
“I didn't think you cared what our family thinks.” Aemond reached down to Aegon's knees, and took the blanket that lay over them, pulling it over his lap.
"I really don't care," Aegon took another sip from the wine bottle, then looked back at Aemond. "But I care about not being kicked out of my house and living under a bridge."
Aemond laughed, crystal clear. Aegon loved his laugh, he wanted to hear it all day, but sadly his brother rarely laughed. Most of the time he always seemed detached from everything and everyone, and he always had the usual indecipherable expression.
"I see you, you know?" Aemond said, leaning towards his older brother's face, looking him up and down. Aegon blushed at the proximity, and hoping the red on his cheeks wouldn't show in the rosy light of the fireplace. He raised an eyebrow. "To do what? Living under bridges?”
Aemond went backwards, rolling his eyes. "No, to get out of here." Aegon looked at him slightly confused. "Sometimes I wonder why you haven't already, we both know you want to."
Aegon often wondered the same thing, actually. He hated that house, but at the same time he couldn't get away from it, as if there was something holding him there. "I do not know." He shrugged, still looking at Aemond. "Maybe because I'd miss you too much, who knows."
Aemond wrinkled his nose. "I'd visit you under your beautiful bridge." It was Aegon's turn to laugh, cocking his chin.
"Then you should come live with me," Aegon sounded a quite serious with that, but corrected himself quickly afterward. "Under the bridge, I mean."
Aemond raised an eyebrow, as he used to do when he didn't understand his brother. A few seconds passed in silence. "I think you're not leaving because you hope to be loved by the same people you despise so much."
Aegon rolled his eyes, then shook his head, and drank again. In reality it was true, and Aemond had been quicker to figure it out than himself.
"So you read minds!" The eldest exclaimed, slightly sarcastic, but sincere nonetheless.
"No, but I know you." Aemond answered a little too seriously, and Aegon shrugged. "I think I should do it anyway, nobody here loves me anyway."
There were seconds of silence that lasted for several moments, until Aegon, still concentrating on the bottle of wine, felt Aemond move closer to him. “I do.”
Aegon felt his heart leap. He was aware that Aemond didn't mean 'love' as he did, certainly not towards his brother. Aegon knew that his feelings, which had been with him for some time now, were wrong, and that he shouldn't have felt that way about his brother, but he just couldn't help it. It was the only thing that seemed true in that house of lies.
"Yeah sure." He said, simply, without taking his eyes off the bottle.
"Yeah sure!" Aemond continued, emphasizing his own words.
"I love your stupid hair that never looks right, I love that you're the only one backing me up, I love your messy room where nothing is ever found," Aemond slapped him on the shoulder. "I even love this awful yellow sweater.”
Aegon tried to calm down. It was quite obvious to him that Aemond meant all of this in a brotherly way, he wasn't a degenerate like him, but a part of him kept hoping that wasn't the case. He turned to the younger one, looking at him for a moment He still had his ethereal aura, but Aemond seemed to be more… sensitive than usual.
They looked at each other for a couple of seconds without saying anything, until Aegon smiled, slightly provocative. "You always said you hated this sweater."
Aemond rolled his eyes, his cheeks tinged a faint rosy "Yes, but I'd miss it. Surely I could never miss one thing I hate."
Aegon chuckled "So you don't hate me."
Aemond looked at him again, this time as if he was stupid. "I just told you, I love you."
Aegon placed a hand on his forehead, assuming a thoughtful expression. "You would never tell me that you care about me, I think you have a fever."
Aemond took Aegon's hand from his head and pulled it away, but didn't let it go, even when it moved away from his face. "I don't have a fever."
Aegon glanced quickly from their hands to his brother, unable to say anything. He felt his throat dry and his lips sealed.
"And I love you."
Aegon didn't have time to respond, as his lips met his brother's almost immediately. Aemond placed his free hand on the back of his neck, moving his lips over his', while Aegon could do absolutely nothing, as if he was a pillar of salt. When Aemond broke away from the kiss he looked at his brother for a few moments, without him reacting in any way, and sighed, letting go of his hand.
"You were probably right." Aegon blinked repeatedly, trying to realize what had just happened. "What?" He managed to say simply, looking up at him, and connecting his eyes with his only one, "I hate your sweater. It's a horrible color."
Aemond started to get up and walk away, pulling the blanket off his legs, but as soon as he got up, Aegon was able to speak. "Yellow is my favorite colour, and I'm sure yours is even worse, you shouldn't say that it's horrible."
Aemond turned to him, raising an eyebrow again, as if he couldn't read him, "Mine is blue." Aegon leaned towards him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards him quickly, seating the younger one back on the sofa. “I love blue.” Aegon said, then leaned towards his brother, and their lips met again.
✦
Alicent took the blanket in her hand and scrutinized it critically, then turned her gaze to Aegon. "It's very simple, as a decoration."
Aegon sighed in frustration. "I didn't think I had to embroider complicated patterns, mother."
The woman looked back at the blanket, analyzing the new patch carefully. It was a square of cloth divided into two symmetrical parts, with no decorative embroidery to embellish it.
"In fact, it wasn't forced upon you." Aegon sighed again. "But it's beautiful, either way." She said, and Aegon's eyes widened for a second, then returned to their normal state of indifference.
"I know." He answered as Alicent carefully placed the blanket on the table beside them.
"May I ask why you chose to use blue and yellow? Those are not family colors." Aegon shrugged. "I just like them."