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‘Daddy no!’ Lisa squealed as Elvis held her doll above her head. She jumped, reaching for it as Elvis chuckled, holding it just out of reach. He lowered it a little, allowing her to have a hint of hope before he pulled it back dashing her chances.
‘Oh stop being mean,’ Priscilla said with a giggle. Elvis made an exaggerated roll of his eyes before he put the doll within her reach and allowed Lisa to grab it out of his hands. As soon as she did he enveloped his arms around her pulling her towards him and kissing her cheeks as he tickled her.
‘Daddy!’ she giggled struggling to get away.
I watched them from the doorway, a smile on my face. It was the day after Christmas and while our holiday had been filled with family and friends it was now only a few of us. A fact I was happy for. I loved Christmas at Graceland, truly, but it was exhausting. From the moment we woke up to the moment we went to sleep it was all systems go and that was on a normal holiday. This year was a little different, not that anyone knew that yet. No, at the moment it was just me fatigued and plagued by the secret I was keeping from view.
A secret which meant that as I watched them I could feel my heart hammering a little in my chest and tears prick at my eyes. I moved away from the living room, heading into the kitchen to get a soda from the fridge as I tried to calm myself down. Though as I shut the fridge door I heard a cough from beside me which almost made me jump out of my skin, standing there, watching me closely was Priscilla.
‘Jeez, Cilla you scared the crap outta me!’ I said holding my chest.
‘Sorry,’ she giggled, ‘just came to check you were alright.’
‘I’m fine,’ I lied.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow, ‘because you seem lost in your thoughts today…and I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve not touched a drop of champagne all day.’
‘You clocked that huh?’ I said with a sigh as I rested against the counter.
‘You forget in a house full of guys that women notice more,’ she chuckled, coming to stand beside me.
‘Yeah,’ I said nervously, my hand instinctively resting on my stomach.
‘So…how long?’ she said.
‘I don’t know,’ I said, biting my lip, ‘we’ve been so busy I’ve not really paid much attention.’
‘Are you excited?’ she said. I looked at her, peering into her kind eyes as they looked back at me with no expectation just awaiting my answer.
‘Honestly? I don’t know,’ I said.
‘How come?’
‘Our life?’ I smirked, ‘he’s done this before and I’ve not? I mean what if we have this baby and he-‘
I paused, realizing the words I was going to say were harsher than I intended them to be. He had done this before and whilst he loved Lisa and Priscilla it hadn’t been enough to keep them together. What if I was destined to be the next ex-wife? Our future Christmases split between three families instead of the two they were already?
‘He loses all interest?’ Priscilla said. I dropped my gaze shyly, ‘honey we didn’t split up because we had kids.’
‘I know that,’ I said.
‘So you know having Lisa wasn’t some horrible thing. He just wasn’t ready,’ she said softly.
‘That’s what I’m scared of. What if he’s never ready? What if he decides we’re not what he wants either?’
‘I can’t speak for him. But he’s a good dad to Lisa. And on the whole, he’s a good man. In fact, he’s better than he was. You make him better.’
‘Cilla,’ I said quietly, feeling my cheeks getting warmer.
‘I mean it. He’s different with you. He’s a better husband. Like this time was meant to be.’
‘But didn’t you think that?’ I asked, biting my lip. She smiled softly.
‘Yeah, but we thought a lot of things. You never know what’s gonna happen before it does. I can’t promise this will work out but I can tell you it’s better than before. For all of us. I mean not many women want to hang out with their husband’s new wife,’ she chuckled, ‘and even if we weren’t friends I wouldn’t be able to fault the way you are with Lisa. You’re so important to her.’
‘She’s a credit to the pair of you,’ I said with a smile.
‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘but you’re just as involved… so I don’t know why you’re worrying. You’re already a mother. Have been for a while.’
‘I assume you mean Lisa but with Elvis and the boys I can’t be too sure,’ I smiled. Priscilla chuckled and threw her arm around me, ‘you’re right. You’ve been parenting twenty grown men for a good few years now you’re sure to be an old hat.’
‘Speaking of its awful quiet in there should we be worried?’ I said pulling out of her grasp and heading to the door with her trailing behind, ‘oh definitely.’
When we came back into the living room fortunately not much had changed. Elvis was sitting on the floor with Lisa in between his legs, laying against him looking distinctly more tired than before as she twirled her hair between her fingers. They were watching TV now, all quiet and observant. Priscilla slipped into the armchair by the door whilst I sat down behind Elvis on the sofa, smiling as he placed his hand on my knee. We stayed like that for a couple more hours, the evening accepting its natural plateau as the past couple of days started catching up on us all.
‘Gosh,’ Priscilla said with a yawn, ‘I think it’s time to hit the hay.’
‘Yeah you might be right,’ Vernon said, shuffling out of his seat. Elvis manoeuvred Lisa, who was now asleep, onto my lap for a moment whilst he stood and saw his Daddy and Dee out. When he returned Lisa stirred.
‘Come on baby,’ Priscilla said, coming to lean down in front of me, ‘time for bed.’
‘I’ll give you a hand,’ Elvis said, picking her up and popping her on his hip.
‘It’s okay. I got her,’ she said, throwing me a look. I dropped my gaze to my lap.
‘You sure? She ain’t as light as she used to be,’ Elvis chuckled shuffling Lisa into her arms. Priscilla buckled a little under Lisa’s weight but she smiled through it.
‘Let him take her up,’ I said, ‘you’ll do yourself a mischief.’
Priscilla nodded and allowed Elvis to take her back into his arms and I watched as the pair of them headed to the staircase. As he disappeared up the stairs Priscilla threw me another ‘tell him’ look and I nodded. Once everyone was gone I tidied away some of the plates and glasses that littered the surfaces of the room. I straightened up the couch and grabbed the box of three pregnancy tests I had stashed in my purse just as he was coming down the stairs. I sat back down on the sofa, acting as casually as I could, as he came into the room and sat down beside me.
‘She go down alright?’ I asked as he settled beside me, placing his hand on my thigh.
‘Fine,’ he smiled, ‘all tuckered out.’
‘Yeah from all your teasin’,’ I giggled.
‘Hey it’s like a right of passage as a dad,’ he chuckled leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek, ‘are you okay?’
‘Fine,’ I said with a small smile.
‘You sure?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow, ‘because I don’t know if it’s my imagination but you and Cilla seemed het up about something.’
‘It’s nothing,’ I said, making his eyes narrow, ‘it’s…girl stuff.’
‘Should I be worried?’ he chuckled, squeezing my thigh.
‘Nah, we were just comparing notes,’ I said giggling as he leaned in and kissed me, moving his lips down my neck.
‘Oh yeah?’ he smirked.
‘Yeah, I’m a lot more complimentary by the way,’ I giggled.
‘Good to know,’ he chuckled, pulling away. I sighed and looked at his adoring blue eyes.
‘You sure you’re okay?’ he asked.
‘Yeah…it’s just complicated, ‘I said.
‘Well whatever it is we can figure it out,’ he said, placing his thumb and forefinger on my chin and tilting my face towards him.
‘I have something to tell you,’ I said, pulling back and biting my lip. He didn’t say anything, instead, he just peered at me with those gorgeous baby blue eyes as if he was waiting for me to continue, ‘oh God I don’t know how to say this.’
‘Doll you’re kinda scaring me,’ he said with a furrow in his brow.
‘It’s nothing bad,’ I said quickly, ‘well at least I hope it’s not.’
As he looked at me perplexed I shuffled so I could pull the box of tests out from under me. I passed it to him and he took it, eyeing the plain box curiously for a moment before he unlatched the end and tipped the contents into his hand. Three white plastic sticks fell into his large palm and I watched as his face went from confused to a beaming smile as he clocked the two lines on each of them.
‘Doll,’ he said in barely more than a breath. He looked at me as if waiting for me to confirm which I did with a tiny nod. Then he dropped the sticks into his lap and pulled me in for a bear hug, pressing me against his warm body for a moment before he leant down to kiss me. When he pulled away I spoke.
‘Are you okay with this?’ I asked, biting the inside of my cheek.
‘Darlin’ I’m thrilled!’
‘You’re sure?’ I said the nerves from before were still bouncing around in my mind.
‘Why wouldn’t I be? Hell, is this what you’ve been chatting about with Cilla?’ he asked. I nodded trying to ignore the hurt behind his eyes as I did.
‘I didn’t mean to,’ I said, biting my lip, ‘she just sorta noticed I wasn’t myself and put two and two together.’
‘Not yourself? Wait, were you scared to tell me?’ he asked.
‘No! Not scared, just a little… nervous,’ I said truthfully.
‘Why? Honey this is the best Christmas present I could’ve got,’ he smiled.
‘I guess I was just worried,’ I said meekly, ‘I mean you’ve done this before.’
‘That doesn’t make it any less special,’ he said.
‘I know I guess I was just worried…you’ve told me how much having Lisa changed everything,’ I admitted.
‘And you think that’s gonna happen to us?’ he asked.
‘No,’ I said quickly before I dropped my gaze and said, ‘maybe.’
‘I won’t pretend that having Lisa didn’t change our marriage but it didn’t make it worse. And I’m happy I have her,’ he said, earning a nod from me in return, ‘I just…I wasn’t ready. For any of it. I was happy with Cilla as it was but then people started getting preoccupied with how it looked. More than how we felt about it, so, we got married and Lisa came along and it just spiralled into something I hadn’t planned for. I wasn’t ready for that. In fact, I only knew I was ready when…well the day I met you.’
‘E,’ I said shyly.
‘I mean it,’ he said, holding my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles gently, ‘I was just off the back of a divorce. I didn’t know how I was gonna handle my half of raisin’ Lisa and then you come along. Perfect and just what I needed. I told Joe the day we met I was gonna marry ya.’
‘He tell you you were crazy?’ I giggled.
‘Amongst other things,’ Elvis smiled, ‘I was right though.’
‘And babies?’ I said quietly.
‘I figured we’d head down that road at some point,’ he shrugged, ‘you’re already such a good mama I thought it was inevitable.’
‘I guess we’ve just been content with how life’s been going recently, we’ve not had to think about it,’ I said.
‘And now we have? Are you excited?’ he said, watching me closely.
‘Yeah I think I am,’ I said. He smiled and placed his hand on my belly.
‘I am too,’ he said quietly before adding, ‘I can’t believe there’s a baby in there.’
‘Me either,’ I sighed happily.
‘Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?’ he said excitedly, his eyes lighting up as he looked at me.
‘I don’t know. I guess I don’t mind either way. I love Lisa, I do, I guess this one just feels a little different you know. Like it’s our first,’ I said.
‘I know what you mean,’ he smiled, ‘I think I’d like a boy.’
‘Oh yeah?’ I giggled as he pulled me into him, his arm slipping around my waist as we snuggled together watching the fire crackle in front of us.
‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘I mean I know I got the guys but let’s face it I’m drowning in women here.’
‘You and your daddy are outnumbered,’ I smiled.
‘Yeah you gotta give me a boy,’ he smirked, ‘even the playing field. Or at least someone who can’t wrap me around their little finger.’
‘You wouldn’t have it any other way,’ I giggled, placing my hand on his chest. He took a hold of it but didn’t move it off so I could feel his heart beating underneath my palm, his warm hand over mine.
‘Not at all,’ he sighed.
✵✵✵
‘I get to open it!’ Lisa squealed, running to the present in front of her Daddy.
‘Hey, you’ve got your own. This is for Jess,’ Elvis said.
‘Daddy Jesse can’t open his presents yet,’ she said, rolling her eyes. I chuckled to myself as I watched her, determined not to go without opening her brother’s presents. She sat in front of the neatly wrapped present, Elvis on its other side watching her as if in a standoff.
‘Well what if I wanna open it for him,’ he challenged, making her pout as she geared up to retaliate.
‘I think Jess would love it if his big sister open his presents for him,’ I said looking at the baby beside me in his bouncy chair who seemed unphased by this family squabble. She smiled at me and then stuck her tongue out at her Daddy before she started tearing the wrapping paper off. Elvis rolled his eyes and looked at me mouthing, ‘push over.’
I smiled back at him and then I went back to watching Lisa tear her way through the present. Maybe I was a bit of a pushover. Maybe he was just a big kid.
‘What is it Lis?’ I asked, peering at the box she was holding up.
‘A walker,’ she said, showing me and then showing Jesse who ogled his big sister with a one-toothed grin.
‘Who’s it off?’ Elvis said, fishing the tag out of the pile of wrapping, ‘Dodger.’
‘Well I’m sure he’ll love it,’ I said as Lisa placed it down in front of his bounce chair and moved to open another one of his. We stayed like that for another twenty minutes or so. We’d all opened our presents and then realised there were several parcels left under the tree which, much to Lisa’s disappointment, belonged to her baby brother.
Once everything was unwrapped I started collecting bits of paper for a trash bag whilst Lisa and Elvis started putting together some of her toys. She played for all of five minutes and then I felt her come up beside me, her arms wrapping around my hips as she waited for my attention to fall on her
‘Yeah, baby?’ I asked looking down on her.
‘Can I call mama yet?’ she asked with pleading eyes. I glanced at Elvis and found him looking at me too, with glee that he didn’t have to be the party pooper. Priscilla wasn’t here for Christmas this year. Her mother had taken ill and she hadn’t wanted Lisa to have to spend the holiday away from us and her new baby brother so had sent her to us alone.
‘Not yet it’s only,’ I said checking my watch, ‘six thirty. Your mama won’t be up for at least another hour or so.’
‘Yeah buttonhead, your mama is on west coast time remember,’ Elvis said watching her fallen face.
‘How about you take your toys upstairs, we’ll have some breakfast and then we’ll give your mama a call?’ I said stroking her hair gently. Though she seemed disappointed she smiled and nodded before she dropped her arms from around me and grabbed her things so she could head upstairs. I watched her go with a sad smile.
Then Jesse started to fuss so I sat down beside him, leaning over and unlatching him from his bouncy chair so I could cuddle him to me. He settled almost immediately, seemingly just feeling left out of the action.
‘Ah, you’re just feeling left out huh bud? How about we get you that new teething ring?’ I said fishing around on the floor for one of his discarded presents. I pulled it out of the packaging and held it up to him, allowing him to take it in his chubby little fist. I pressed a kiss to his forehead as he took it off me, immediately sticking it in his mouth. When I looked up Elvis was watching me with a small smile.
'What?’ I asked bashfully.
'Nuthin’,’ he smiled, 'you’re a good mom you know that right?’
'Why because I remembered to buy him something to chew on instead of letting him chew on Lisa’s doll heads again?’ I giggled making Elvis laugh. He moved closer to me, so he was sitting inches from me, as he stroked Jesse’s cheek gently.
'I mean it,’ he said looking into my eyes, 'the way you handled Lisa just then. The way you are with Jess. You’re amazing.’
'You’re pretty good yourself handsome,’ I said with a smile before it faded a little. Elvis noted the change in my face and frowned, 'what is it?’
'Nothing,’ I said, an unsure feeling coming into the pit of my stomach. Elvis raised an eyebrow, 'I was gonna wait until after Christmas.’
'Wait for what honey?’ he asked.
'Well, you know how you said I’m a good mom?’ I asked, receiving a nod in return, 'well I’m gonna need to be…if I’m gonna have three to contend with.’
Elvis looked at me, the words processing in his mind before his mouth fell into a perfect O shape. I bit my lip as I waited for him to say something. This year had been amazing. He’d been so helpful and kind throughout my pregnancy and now we had a beautiful six-month-old that he was so good with. The last thing on my mind had been another baby. Which explained why we hadn’t really given birth control much thought.
'You mean?’ he said after a long pause. I nodded.
'I’ve only done one test,’ I said, 'there weren’t a lot of options on Christmas Eve but-’ he cut me off as he buried us both in a hug before moving back so he could kiss me. I melted into him so much that when I pulled back I was breathless. He smirked at me, a twinkle in his blue eyes.
'So you’re happy I take it?’ I asked with a giggle.
'Baby I’m more than happy,’ he said with a smile, 'it might not be what we planned…’
'We didn’t plan for Jess,’ I giggled.
'True,’ he chuckled looking at Jesse who was watching us both as he quietly slobbered all over his teething ring, 'but that worked out pretty well wouldn’t you say?'
'The best,’ I said with a smile. He moved my hair off my face and leaned in to give me another kiss.
'I will say one thing though,’ he said as he pulled back.
'What’s that baby?’ I asked.
'You’ve repeated your gift for two Christmases on the trot now,’ he chuckled.
'Oh don’t worry, I’ve got next year’s present sorted,’ I said.
'Yeah?’ he said with a puzzled look.
'Yeah,’ I said, 'you’re booking in for a vasectomy.’
'Like hell,’ he said with a laugh. Jesse giggled along with him. Elvis took him off me and tucked him into his arms where he sat happily.
'It’s only fair,’ I said, 'I got you what you wanted for Christmas, you should do the same for me.’
'You hear this Jess?’ he said, nudging Jesse’s plump cheek with his knuckle, 'your Mama’s ganging up on me.’
'And here you were thinking you’d get your way with another boy in the house,’ I giggled, kissing his cheek.
'Nah I knew I never had a hope with you,’ he said with a soft smile, 'you’ve all got me wrapped around your little fingers.’
'You love it,’ I smiled.
'More than anything,’ he nodded.