Work Text:
The first time Serizawa wants to tell Reigen that they are soulmates is coincidentally also the first time he agrees to the offer to grab a drink after work.
Their day had been rather busy, stuffed with a few properly scheduled clients and a fair number of walk-ins. It had been manageable at first but things had quickly become frustrating when their last customer made a fuss about the payment. He had cursed at the both of them and threw a fit until he finally left.
Serizawa had been rather impressed by Reigen’s ability to stay calm, his forced on and frozen smile staying perfectly in place without ever as much as twitching. Once they had been alone again, Reigen had sighed and rubbed his temples, telling the ESPer about how important it is to stay professional under any and all circumstances - but equally important to stand your ground. Serizawa had listened patiently and nodded along to whatever Reigen wanted to share with him, a gentle warmth blooming in his chest everytime he got the chance to allow the other to ramble.
Not shortly after, Reigen had decided that they should close up for the day and once they had finished up with the leftover paperwork, he had caught Serizawa’s attention and asked him whether he wanted to go for a drink or not - between all of Reigen’s ‘Physical Exorcisms’ and Serizawa’s actual exorcisms, it had been a rather stressful day after all. So why not treat themselves?
Normally, the ESPer would have declined. It wasn’t the first time Reigen had asked him and up until today, Serizawa had been far too nervous about spending time with the other outside of work. He had been incredibly worried about Reigen picking up on his excessive staring and their work relationship had been quite new to him - everything at Spirit’s and Such much unlike Claw.
Of course it hadn’t helped that Serizawa is painfully aware of the fact that the man standing mere feet away from him most hours of the day is his soulmate and therefore, agreeing to spend time with him outside of work, seemed like it would be downright torture for Serizawa.
Today is different, though.
After he had seen the other’s exhausted expression and the small but genuine smile on his lips, Serizawa hadn’t been able to say no, his heart beating a little faster and almost begging him to agree.
In the end that’s how he finds himself sitting next to Reigen on a pair of barstools in an unfamiliar establishment that his boss promises is better than it looks. Serizawa is finishing up his second beer and the warmth that settles in the pit of his stomach is a mixture of the alcohol and his close proximity to Reigen. Their stools are right next to one another, their knees bumping every now and then. Even a contact as small as that makes him feel a little flustered.
It doesn’t take him long to realize that Reigen is a lightweight. Halfway through his first drink he starts to talk even more than usual, his cheeks a dark shade of red and switching topics or throwing in new thoughts every few seconds. He’s laughing a little louder than is appropriate and it earns him a few looks from the other patrons, but in Serizawa’s opinion it’s rather endearing.
The other finishes his drink and runs a hand through his hair, messing up the neat cut. A few strands stick out in ways that makes the ESPer smile at him maybe a bit more affectionately than he intends to.
After mumbling to himself for a moment, Reigen orders another drink, Serizawa unable to stop him in time. The bartender takes their empty glasses away and soon returns with another round, placing a beer in front of him and a rather fruity and colorful drink in front of Reigen.
The night goes on and Serizawa doesn’t move from his seat even once, too focused on the other to pull away and not quite daring to leave him unsupervised.
Reigen has barely touched his second drink while the ESPer’s is empty yet again. He isn’t all too sure what the other is talking about at this point. He’s waving his hand along with his story and leans onto the countertop of the bar more than anyone should after just one drink. His hair is still a mess, even more so now than before and his red cheeks are pulled up in a wide smile. At some point, he had loosened his tie and opened some of the buttons of his shirt, claiming that it was far hotter in the bar than it should be. Serizawa is inclined to agree. However, it is less the alcohol in his system and instead something far more distracting.
For a while he simply watches Reigen, completely captivated by how his lips move and how he begins to play with the stem of his glass; his other hand busy with holding his head up, the lids of his eyes falling shut for a few moments every now and then.
Serizawa can’t help but wish to reach out to brush the strand of hair out of Reigen’s face that keeps falling over his eyes. So much so that he has to keep his own hands occupied with one of the coasters on the bar, turning it between his fingers a little. In his chest spreads a feeling of comfort, the world around him phasing and becoming less and less distracting as long as he keeps looking at Reigen. He watches the way his smile turns into a smirk sometimes and how his tongue darts out to wet his lips. The ESPer’s eyes slide to the bit of skin exposed by the open buttons, feeling a surge of want that almost overwhelms him and he needs to suck in a sharp breath. With red cheeks, he forces himself to look up again.
There’s no denying that Reigen is beautiful and Serizawa's soulmark tingles more and more intensely the longer he stares. Even if he had known ever since they met, it still is unbelievable to him that this man is supposed to be his perfect match. He’s everything that Serizawa isn’t. He’s able to change the lives of those around him and is full of nothing but openness and understanding. Reigen isn’t aware of it, but the mark on Serizawa’s body is more than enough proof of how good of a person he is - always reaching out and offering help to those that need it, helping them without judgment and ready to take anyone's hand to redirect their path to a better, healthier one. He is nothing but a grounding force - despite what he might act like. It's undeniable that his presence and touch leaves an impression in people's lives that can shape them fundamentally.
It was what he had done for Serizawa and is doing still - he had reached out to him to pull him closer, holding his hand while showing him possibilities that the ESPer had never known existed.
Serizawa’s chest blooms with sudden adoration at the thought and his heart beats faster in an instant. He is certain the smile on his face is filled with nothing but downright devotion. The other man had a secure hold around Serizawa’s heart and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Every interaction and smile and touch between them feels so natural and right. It hadn't taken long for it all to become second nature to the ESPer and the thought of ever losing it is physically painful.
However, he had decided early on that he had to grow as a person before he felt worthy enough to stand at Reigen's side. He wants to be someone that the other can be proud of - someone that can be at his side confidently and unlike his younger self, Serizawa is determined to grow into the person he needs to be. After all, there is a lot in his life that he regrets and there’s a deep and heavy sense of wanting to make up for it. It plagues his mind and keeps him from letting Reigen know what they are to one another. That not only are they friends, but that there is something so much bigger hanging above them, wishing them to reach out to one another.
Then again: his partially drunken mind begs to differ. The sight of Reigen is completely enthralling and breathtaking. He’s so off guard and relaxed and Serizawa’s alcohol induced thoughts like to take the credit for it. They are soulmates and this is how it should be between them - relaxed, comfortable and right.
“Ser-Serizawa! Oi, are you still listening?” Reigen says eventually, causing the ESPer’s expression to drop in embarrassment. The smile on his lips returns soon enough however, and he shrugs a little apologetically, both his hands now twirling the coaster between their fingers. “What’s got you so in your thoughts? Guess I’ve been talking a lot, mh? Then how about you tell me something! What’s going on in my best employee's head?”
There’s genuine curiosity in Reigen’s voice and he leans closer to Serizawa, almost looking like he is going to fall off the barstool if he leans further off center. Somehow, the ESPer doubts that the other’s balance is good enough to keep him seated for much longer. Still, the proximity makes his heart flutter and he realizes how easy it would be to reach out to touch Reigen. The liquid confidence in his veins assists his desires and makes one of his hands slip off the coaster to reach out to touch the other's red and inviting looking cheek.
He can do this. He can allow himself to say it.
This isn't something he has to keep from himself and maybe there is no reason to wait after all. He knows that the other won’t judge - won’t ridicule him. There's not a single doubt in Serizawa's mind. So why had he ever bothered to keep it a secret at all?
“Reigen. I need you to know that-”
Before his fingers get to brush against the warm looking skin, Reigen’s expression changes. His soft smile disappears to make room for a panicked look that makes Serizawa’s hand freeze mid-motion. Not another moment passes before Reigen suddenly leans to the side so quickly that he spills his drink over the countertop of the bar. He folds in half on the stool, one of his arms wrapping around his middle and the next thing Serizawa registers is a loud, disgusting hurl and curse from the barkeeper.
In shock, the ESPer jumps off his own seat, a hand landing on Reigen’s back in concern and to make sure he won’t fall. Serizawa realizes just a split second after that this is a grave mistake when the other hurls again, his face covered by his bangs and shuddering in discomfort.
While Serizawa frantically asks the bartender for anything that could help and a glass of water, he realizes that maybe it is good that he hadn’t been able to let Reigen know just yet.
~♡~
The second time he almost tells Reigen that they are soulmates is after he sees his body get flung right past him by the force of a particularly angry spirit. Serizawa is unable to reach out in time to prevent a rough landing on the concrete.
A groan of pain escapes out of Reigen’s mouth and it makes the ESPer’s heart drop. His soulmark aches in discomfort at the sound and at the sight of Reigen sliding to a stop on the ground. He tries to push himself up on shaky arms, his suit not only dirty but frayed and ripped in multiple spots at this point.
“Reigen!” Serizawa yells, his legs moving on their own as they make their way over to him in a hurry. Before he can reach Reigen though, the spirit growls angrily. It is far from anything humanoid. It’s much more of a grotesque mixture of limbs and tissue. Its power is coming off of it in waves as it pulls its way along the floor rather than walk with any of its many legs. The spirit’s mouth hangs open, showing multiple rows of dull molars and a foul stench that makes Serizawa's stomach turn wafts through the empty warehouse.
His head snaps back to it, eyes wide as he watches it approach. He's frozen for a split second before another pained hiss behind him makes him flinch. When he looks back at the other, his mouth goes dry and his hands begin to tremble. At this point, Reigen is pushed up on his knees and in the process of standing up again, down his forehead runs more blood than Serizawa is comfortable seeing on him and it’s obvious that the bright light shining through the halfway collapsed ceiling is giving him quite some trouble.
His stance is unsteady when he’s finally up again and one of his hands is holding his shoulder in a tight grip, the connection of the sleeve and torso of his suit almost completely ripped apart. There’s scrapes over his exposed skin and his knuckles are bloody from their rough connection with the ground just moments prior.
“I admit, I might not have thought this through.” he says, chuckling weakly with his voice strained and raw.
It doesn’t take longer than a second for the anger in Serizawa to spike to a maximum. The blood on Reigen is enough to make his own boil and he can feel his powers shaking inside him. He needs all his willpower and control to not let them explode right then and there. Pulling them back in as close as he can, his hands curling into fists at his sides and his shoulders tense. At this point, his short curls of hair are floating and his pupils constrict when they focus in on the spirit once more. Without hesitation he steps in front of Reigen.
Even if the other doesn't know that they are soulmates, Serizawa swears to himself that there is no way he would let him get hurt ever again.
The ESPer's breath is heavy now, his soulmark burning from the very bottom up to his shoulder blades. The knowledge that Reigen has been injured while he hadn’t been able to stop it, twists everything inside the ESPer’s chest. There is no reason for Reigen to ever endanger himself when Serizawa is right there to stop it. He would not let it happen again.
“Serizawa-” Reigen gasps, stepping closer until he’s right behind him. His footing is a little uneven and he releases his shoulder in favor of putting his hand carefully on Serizawa’s upper arm. Even now he’s more concerned about the ESPer’s emotional state than his own well being.
“Let me take care of it, Reigen.” he says, not leaving any room to argue.
Serizawa's powers are flaring dangerously and his control over them is spread thinner than he wants it to be. However, with the determination in his chest, the spirit isn’t as much of an opponent in the end. Despite its many limbs, it turns out to barely be agile, much more sluggish than he would have initially thought. Serizawa knows how strong it is, the malevolence around it a sickly pale and grayed out color, reaching outwards to pull whatever it may find closer. Then again: with how slow it moves - its sheer size obviously its biggest advantage - the ESPer makes quick work of it. The spirit yowls and the sound travels right though his body, filling him with an uncomfortable coldness. The spirit’s arms and legs spasm and shake violently, its mouth pulling back in its disgusting body and it seems to shrink, shrink and shrink before it explodes in a colorful whirlwind of pinks and purples.
“Well.” Reigen says behind him after stepping up to him once more, only stopping when they stand right next to each other. His voice is still weaker than it’s supposed to be and misses the usual energetic infliction after a job well done. “That didn’t go quite like I expected. Good Job, though, Serizawa.”
The ESPer's breath slows a little and he turns his head to Reigen. The other is paler than usual and this up close Serizawa can see that he’s not only bleeding from his forehead but from scrapes left by the concrete as well. Some of the blood on his chin is smudged, obviously having been wiped at. What truly makes his stomach curl, is the comforting and proud smile the other tries to give him. It’s all sorts of wrong to him that Reigen is trying to make sure Serizawa is alright and feeling okay, when he himself is the one bleeding and in pain - pale and shaking. Faintly, he notices how Reigen’s eyes seem to have trouble focusing and how he’s slouching ever so slightly.
The business cards slip out from between Serizawa’s fingers, clattering to the ground around him. He crosses the distance between them to wrap his arms around Reigen’s slender body, pulling him close to his chest. The sensation of their bodies slotted together this way feels right, the other’s chest fitting against Serizawa’s own perfectly. His heart beats a bit faster, but the dreadful sense of worry never fades.
“Never do that again.” he pleads, sucking in a deep breath. If Reigen weren’t hurt, the ESPer would pull him in even closer, never wanting to let go. His fingers dig in the cheap fabric of the suit beneath them. At this point he is shaking as well, unable to keep his worry and fear hidden any longer. The knowledge that the other might endanger and injure himself again further down the line is almost too much for Serizawa to take. His chest feels tighter and too constricting, anxiety worming its way around his heart to squeeze tightly. “You could have gotten hurt way worse-”
“Serizawa-” Reigen tries to interrupt, but the ESPer won’t let him.
“Please, Reigen.” His voice is barely above a whisper now and he can feel his entire body growing tense. The thought that maybe he wouldn’t have been able to keep his own soulmate from something worse than this is tearing him apart. “You can’t do things like that. You aren’t invincible. I can’t see you putting yourself in harm's way like that. There's too many people that care about you. I-I care about you.”
There’s a short pause and he swallows a lump in his throat, reluctantly putting a bit of distance between them before he speaks again: “Please. You can’t do this to me, because we’re-”
“Serizawa.” This time he’s successfully interrupted, Reigen looking at him with a far off expression on his face. He is looking past Serizawa instead of at him. His voice is a little scratchy and his eyebrows are knitted. The sight sends a sudden rush of panic through the ESPer and he wishes he hadn’t let the other out of his secure hold from a moment ago. “I think I might need to sit down-”
Reigen never does get to sit down, his voice trailing off at the end before his eyes fall shut and his body goes limp as he passes out, only caught by Serizawa’s arms.
~♡~
The third time he considers saying it is on Reigen’s next birthday.
Outside, the sun is already lowering at the horizon, painting the scenery in a warm orange light and the buildings begin to cast long and dark shadows over the streets. Everyone but Serizawa and Reigen himself had left already.
There’s a mess of used paper plates and wrapping papers. Their desks are pushed aside in favor of making space for the faux leather sofas and seats, confetti and party streamers littering the ground and waiting to be swept up. At first Serizawa had insisted on cleaning up by himself, but the other had joined him soon enough to at least get rid of some of the dishes.
For a while they work in silence, the day leaving a pleasant exhaustion in Serizawa’s body and he can tell by just one look that Reigen feels the same. The barely there content smile on his lips never fades and his entire posture seems a little more lax than usual. He’s thinking hard about something and for a long moment the ESPer simply watches him rinse the teacups. The sight makes Serizawa smile as well, his chest blooming with warmth and his soulmark tingling a little more than usual at how truly happy the other looks. It leaves him with a satisfaction that would be hard to explain if he wasn’t so aware of what they are.
Though, even if they weren’t soulmates, there’s no doubt that he would have fallen for Reigen at this point. There’s nothing about him that didn’t pull Serizawa in. From his genuine kindness, his rather ridiculous sense of humor and his unique way of handling things up to his solid advice and guidance. The way he allows Serizawa to feel what he needs to feel, helping him to work through everything that happened in his life and making him realize that there is a place for him in this world. It is easy to talk to Reigen and the ESPer has been able to open up more and more around him, having the chance to not be scared of his mistakes anymore - because he's given a safe space to grow.
He’s thankful for the other in more ways than he can count and if there is anything he can say for certain, it’s that Reigen deserves to be happy.
Soon enough he is done with sweeping up the remains of party poppers from the floor and dumps them in the trashcan nearby. When the lid of it soft closes shut, the other disturbs their comfortable silence.
“Thank you for today, Serizawa.” Reigen says, placing down a towel under the drying rack before setting the cups into it. He turns to him then, his cheeks dusted slightly red. His expression is incredibly beautiful, his eyes shining brightly and his lips twisted upwards in a real smile. His eyes are still slightly puffy from previously spilled tears that Reigen likes to deny and it’s one of the most breathtaking sights the ESPer has ever had the pleasure of seeing.
“No need to thank me. Shigeo and Hanazawa did most of the planning-”
“That’s not what I mean. I- I just- wanted to thank you. For- for being here.” Reigen says, leaning on the side of the small counter with the sink, one of his hands is moving to rub at his neck, playing a little with the hairs there. He isn’t looking at Serizawa anymore and the look on his face is an embarrassed but honest one. His hand falls from his neck then, in favor of moving through the air, obviously thinking that he had to elaborate. That or maybe he thinks that Serizawa might consider what he had said strange. “I uhm- I mean what I’m saying is that you are- I’m glad that you’re sticking around. It’s not often that you can find someone as reliable as you and someone who’s- “
His hand stops in favor of moving to smooth out his suit jacket, tugging a little bit at the bottom hem afterwards. “Someone who’s such a good friend.”
Serizawa’s hands tighten a little around the hilt of the dustpan and he knows Reigen well enough nowadays to know how much those words mean coming from him. He can’t help the expanding joy in his chest and the display of trust makes his heart beat euphorically in his rib cage.
“I-” Serizawa starts, needing to stop himself to find the right words. Reigen looks more vulnerable than usual, obviously pleasantly tired from the positive emotions of the day. It’s a good look on him, Serizawa dares to think. He places down the dustpan with the broom and walks a little closer to the other. He deserves the ESPer's undivided and full attention and Serizawa wants nothing more than to give it to him. "You don’t need to thank me for that either, Reigen. You’ve done so much. I don’t think there’s anywhere else for me.”
His cheeks are warm and for a moment he can feel how large he’s smiling. However, he can also see the slight glint of conflict in Reigen’s eyes, his relaxed posture disappearing, and Serizawa realizes now that he may not have chosen his words correctly.
“I- I mean anywhere else I’d rather be. I don’t mean that you’re keeping me here or anything. I guess, what I want to say is thank you as well. For being my friend too, for giving me a chance and for - for being yourself.” he eventually settles on and he means every word - even he can hear the affection dripping from his own words. Faintly, he wonders if the other ever feels the same pull and warmth in his chest when they stand this close to one another or if he feels as comfortably safe as Serizawa does.
However, Reigen just looks at him silently for a second and it makes him a little nervous. He shifts on the spot and hopes that he hasn't said something wildly inappropriate. Holding his breath for a moment and unable to tear his eyes away from the other’s expression, he's attempting to figure out what Reigen is thinking. For what feels like an eternity the other simply looks at the ESPer in bewilderment but soon enough Serizawa can see how his eyes grow rather glassy and damp.
Reigen turns his head away, unable to look at Serizawa any longer, and laughs a bit nervously. His shoulders pull up in a shrug, waving the other’s comment off in a gesture that Serizawa knows isn’t meant as dismissive. Even if they aren’t looking at each other, the ESPer can still see the smile returning to the other’s lips and it reassures him that there’s no reason to worry. When Reigen still doesn’t answer, Serizawa’s fingers twitch. He doesn’t hesitate as long as he might have a few months ago before he takes another step closer and reaches out to place his hand on Reigen’s upper arm, squeezing slightly. Indulgently he allows himself to remember how it feels under his palm.
Once more their eyes meet, Reigen now tilting his head up. His cheeks are a bright red and his lips slightly parted. The sight is rather inviting and they are so close that Serizawa can feel how warm the other is. He has to keep himself from letting his thumb run over the other’s suit. His heart is beating in his throat and he wants nothing more than to lean in closer to press their lips together, Reigen’s vulnerable expression too much for him to simply take with their proximity.
He truly does love Reigen.
However, he knows there’s something he has to tell the other before he can go any further than small comforting touches and the occasional hug. The words tingle in his mouth, laying heavily on his tongue and he pulls in a deep breath, his smile never falling. It does however grow a bit less confident with how loud his own heart is in his ears.
“Reigen…” His voice is soft and quiet, but it still rings through the office as the only sound. He wants to say it, wants to let the other know so they could fall into each other’s arms and press their lips together - so Serizawa can finally have Reigen at his side much closer than he is now. Before he says anything, he begins to doubt himself though, his overwhelming desire suddenly seeming selfish. As he loses himself in the other’s still slightly watery eyes, he realizes how exhausted Reigen truly is. The day had pulled at him in all the right ways but also left him emotionally worn out. This isn't the right moment, Serizawa can see that now. “Let’s head home. Want me to bring you to the train station?”
~♡~
The fourth time he feels the urge to tell Reigen about them is during a normal day at the office.
Almost normal, that is.
While there isn’t any client scheduled for the day and the walk-ins are taken care of easily, Reigen seems on the edge. He’s much more cautious about his actions and not able to hold their conversations as long as normal. Serizawa picks up on the other’s hesitance to touch him almost instantly and it’s rather odd for Reigen not to reach out to him while talking. Even the encouraging touches on the ESPer’s back seem to be lacking today and to say that he’s concerned is an understatement.
It had taken him walking up to Reigen’s desk and calling his name multiple times to pull him out of his thoughts and at that point it’s rather obvious that something is weighing on his mind heavier than Serizawa had first expected.
As always when he doesn’t wish to share, Reigen deflects his concerns and quickly makes up something to hide behind. Serizawa doesn’t like it and his heart feels heavy at not being able to get the other to talk, a sense of failure nagging at him that he pushes into the back of his mind. He offers the other a break, but the thought is quickly dismissed as well.
After all their time together, Serizawa knows quite well when to let something go for the moment. There’s a fine line between allowing Reigen to process and the other getting too up in his head, but for now he decides to drop it even if his heart protests at the very idea. With an uncertain feeling in his stomach, he moves back to his own desk but doesn't hesitate to give Reigen a last encouraging smile to let him know that he is right there if the other decides to change his mind.
They go back to work in silence after that, Serizawa trying to concentrate on answering E-mails. While reading through them, he allows himself to take notes on the problems potential clients are describing and tries to figure out what might be something serious for them to handle or too much of a hassle for Reigen to spin a story of an imaginary spirit out of. Nervously, he chews at his thumb nail, unable to properly concentrate and more often than not he finds his eyes wandering over to look at the other.
Their desks aren’t far apart, but somehow the distance between them feels too great and he can’t help but wonder if he should ask Reigen whether he is okay once more.
For a moment he allows himself to consider what he’d do if he were able to comfort Reigen in a less verbal way - what he would do if the other knew that they were soulmates.
The ESPer would allow himself to pull Reigen close into a hug, hoping that his presence would be enough to calm at least some of the worries plaguing Reigen with a simple and firm touch. He entertains the idea that he’d be allowed to kiss the other’s bad thoughts away, distracting him from the many and complicated things swirling around his head. Serizawa wishes nothing more than to hold Reigen’s hand - to squeeze it tightly in between his own to encourage him to share and speak up. If that would not work or if Reigen wasn't ready to share just yet, he'd make sure to stay close and maybe he'd even indulge into pulling Reigen into his lap for comfort.
Every now and then he registers the frantic typing and clicking of the other stopping, only to resume moments after. Whenever it does return, Serizawa dares to look up again, watching the other man as if he could figure out what's wrong by merely taking him in. Even out of it and distracted, he still looks divine with the way the sun hits his golden hair and pale skin.
The next thing the ESPer sees is Reigen’s eyes moving, but he can’t react fast enough to pull away, causing their gazes to meet. Serizawa’s heart begins to pound in his chest immediately, his cheeks flushing a bright red at the idea of having been caught in his stares of admiration. He gives Reigen a quick and apologetic smile and looks back down at his notes. His toes curl in his shoes nervously and he taps his pencil against his own fingers a few times, unable to keep still. With how Reigen had looked at him, he feels a little exposed now, guilt swirling in the pit of his stomach. He feels rather uncomfortable about his craving for intimacy.
Then again, he does hope that Reigen feels it as well - the strong want to embrace each other and the comfort and security of their interactions. It happens more frequently nowadays that Serizawa questions whether Reigen had figured it out already and simply avoids talking about it. A part of him hopes that the other would find out by himself. It's hard to imagine what kind of soulmark Reigen has, but Serizawa is sure that it has to be something that represents him well enough for Reigen to connect the dots at this point. He wants him to know quite desperately, wants to be able to give in to his desires and wants. Embarrassingly enough, he has to admit that the need to tell him becomes stronger and stronger with each passing day, Serizawa having a hard time to not simply act on it nowadays.
The wait for Reigen realizing himself is quite agonizing in moments like this and the ESPer has a hard time focusing on anything but the pull at his heart, needing to flex his fingers a few times before he dares to reach for his cold coffee to take a sip. He's shuffling his feet under his desk now, wishing he could inconspicuously move more than that. The feelings for Reigen pounding in his chest make him quite restless.
There's no reason to wait for Reigen to find out by himself, Serizawa knows as much and maybe - maybe - he really shouldn't be such a fool. Hadn't the other told him often enough that it is important to pursue what he really wants?
With his mind now on a one track rail, he nods to himself silently, one of his hands moving to grip the fabric of his pants tightly under the desk to give himself a moment of grounding. He prepares mentally to speak up about something he's kept hidden long enough and despite his determination there is still a sense of anxiety and an array of what-ifs that he refuses to listen to.
However, while he sits there with his heart set and ready to step into unknown territory, Reigen interrupts his inner pep talk.
"Serizawa? What does your soulmark look like?"