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Steve doesn't know who his soulmate is. He knows the legends, the romantic stories. He knows people who have met their soulmate. It must be quite something, he knows. A magical, wonderful experience, being with the person who is just right for you.
Soulmates are not an exact science he knows. Relationships still take work and it can take people a while before they realise they have met their soulmate. Unlike the fairytales, people usually don't immediately know. There's no magical first line. But soulmates reveal themselves eventually. There's something significant and special, a big moment. People just know, Steve has heard.
Steve doesn't know who his soulmate is.
***
Bucky knows who his soulmate is. He has known it for years, since the day he turned seventeen. It doesn't mean anything. Steve will never return his feelings. The universe must have made a mistake. It made Bucky’s soul belong to Steve but it didn't make Steve’s soul belong to Bucky’s. A half-bond, an unrequited love. It is pure agony and there's nothing Bucky can do about it. He just suffers and watches as Steve searches for his soulmate, knowing Bucky will always be alone.
He wonders what will happen when Steve actually finds his soulmate. It might just kill Bucky. It might do what Hydra never could and destroy his soul, his very being. Even thinking about it hurts like hell.
Steve will watch his soulmate. He will know. He will smile at them and tell them he loves them. And Bucky will be alone forever. Bucky can't do it. He can't. He just can't leave Steve either. It'd be easier if he could. If he could just leave and move across the world, make a life for himself. But Steve… Steve is half of his soul and Bucky can't live without him. No matter how much Steve breaks his heart without even knowing it.
***
His mother used to tell Steve the story of when she knew his father was her soulmate. She would smile a special smile as she said his name. She always told Steve that he'd know for sure who his soulmate was. The spark didn't happen when couples met. The spark didn't happen at a certain age or moment. But, she said, he would feel it. Steve has never felt it. There has never been a moment where he suddenly felt significantly different from before, aside from receiving the serum perhaps.
Sometimes he wonders if receiving the serum changed his soul. If it made him lose his soulmate. Sometimes he wonders if he met his soulmate during the war and just forgot about it with everything that was happening around them.
When he'd come out of the ice, Steve had been hopeful. Surely he'd meet his soulmate now… He still hasn't. Steve doesn't know who his soulmate is. Perhaps he never will.
Not from a lack of trying. He goes on dates. He's on all the apps and he has a subscription to all the soulmate agencies. It's a good thing Bucky is his roommate or he would have gone crazy from this fruitless search by now.
***
Bucky wants to cry when he sees Steve received a letter from Soulmate Society. He doesn't. Not immediately at least. He will once Steve is not in the apartment and once he can weep freely. Otherwise Steve will just worry and ask questions Bucky cannot answer. He cannot place the burden of Bucky’s half-bond on Steve’s shoulders. It wouldn't be fair.
So he calls Steve’s name and lets him know he has a letter.
Steve immediately walks up to Bucky and takes the letter from Bucky. He opens it and reads it carefully.
"They say they have a potential match," Steve exclaims. "They are offering to arrange a meeting next week."
"That's great, Stevie," Bucky says, trying his best to sound supportive.
Steve can't know Bucky’s heart just shattered into a million pieces. He can't ever know.
"I really hope this person is my one. I've been waiting so long for this," Steve says.
"I know," Bucky says. "You deserve to be with your soulmate."
"So do you, you know," Steve says. "Haven't you ever wondered?"
Bucky gives him a sad smile. "I don't need to wonder, Steve. I will never be with my soulmate."
Steve’s face falls. "Bucky…" he says softly.
"It's okay."
"Whoever my soulmate is… I'll make sure they know you are part of me too. They may be my soulmate but you are my best friend. You belong in my life," Steve says, wrapping Bucky in a tight hug.
"Thanks, Steve," Bucky says, trying desperately to keep his voice from breaking.
***
Steve goes to meet his potential soulmate a week after receiving the letter. Bucky has been acting strange. Steve doesn't know why. Bucky’s clearly doing his best to pretend everything is normal but something is off. Steve just can't be sure what exactly is off. It worries him. He always worries about Bucky. He has been worrying about him, on some level, since he was sixteen.
Steve walks into the museum where he is meeting his potential soulmate. He doesn't feel anything as he shakes her hand. Her name is Clara. Steve doesn't feel anything. He tells himself that makes sense. They just met, you don't immediately know you met your soulmate. Part of Steve worries though. What if he doesn't have a soulmate? What if he is destined to die alone? One day Bucky is going to find his soulmate and he won't even have his best friend anymore. The thought crushes Steve. It's why he wants a soulmate so badly. He just wants to be loved.
"I'm actually a soul scientist," Clara says.
"That's impressive," Steve says.
Clara smiles. "It's a fascinating field. There's so much we still don't know. It's kinda why I subscribed to Soulmate Society. I wanted to know how it worked. I didn't think they'd actually find potential matches."
"I wasn't sure either," Steve says. "I've been looking for my soulmate for such a long time… I wasn't sure anything would come out of this but I wanted to try. I thought that maybe I just don't have a soulmate, for a while."
Clara shakes her head. "We don't know everything about soulmates. Far from it. But we have records of soulmates dating back thousands and thousands of years. There is not a single record of someone not having a soulmate."
"That is reassuring at least," Steve says.
"Tell me more about yourself?" Clara says with a smile.
Steve does. He tells her about his art and about his mom. Mostly, though, he talks about Bucky. Bucky is his best friend. Any potential soulmate has to know all about Bucky before they get involved.
"Steve," Clara says in the most gentle voice.
Steve pauses and swallows.
"I don't think I'm your soulmate. I don't think the matching service works," she says.
"Oh," Steve says.
He thinks he should feel disappointed but somehow he isn't.
"I think I know who your soulmate is though," Clara says. "I think you've been looking in the wrong places."
"Oh," Steve says again.
She touches his shoulder. "I think Bucky may be your soulmate."
"But I never felt any different around him. He's the most important person in my life… but he's just always been there," Steve says.
"Can you imagine being without him? Do you cope well when you are separated? Do you love him?" Clara says.
"Fuck," Steve says. "It is Bucky."
"Go home to him," Clara says.
"Thank you," Steve says.
He impulsively gives her a hug and then says goodbye. She's right, he needs to go home. He needs to go to Bucky.
***
Steve is back early. Probably not his soulmate then, Bucky thinks. Probably not even a potential match. He knows he should feel bad for Steve but secretly he is glad. It means Steve is going to stay by Bucky’s side a little bit longer.
"Steve, you okay?" Bucky calls out.
Steve rushes into Bucky’s room. His face is bright red.
"Steve?" Bucky's getting worried now.
"She wasn't my soulmate. Uh. She knew who my soulmate actually is though. Turns out I have been a bit of an idiot the last couple of decades… I looked in all the wrong places," Steve says.
"What do you mean, Steve?" Bucky whispers.
"You're my soulmate, Buck. You're the most important person in my life and I hate it when I'm not near you. I hated living without you. I thought I was supposed to feel different when I was near my soulmate, that I'd feel it when it happened but I have just always felt this way about you," Steve says.
Bucky can barely believe it. It sounds too good to be true.
"Are you sure," he asks nervously.
Having Steve only to lose him again would hurt much more than the last few decades hurt.
"I'm so sure," Steve says. "And I'm so sorry I made you wait on me. You… you knew didn't you?"
Bucky nods. "I thought they'd made a mistake. That I just got a half-bond."
"I'm sorry," Steve says.
He steps closer to Bucky. Bucky gets up from his bed and closes the gap between them. They are standing chest to chest.
"It's okay," Bucky says. "At least we figured it out now."
Steve nods and gently touches Bucky’s cheek. "Can I kiss you?" he asks.
"Please," Bucky says.
Steve lips press against Bucky’s. Their souls sing. Finally.