Chapter Text
Days of travel had started to blend together. Kit was irritable and she knew it. She was worried about her brother and tired of being surrounded by the others, but most of all she missed Jade. Which is insane because Jade was with her all the time and in the rare moments that Jade wasn’t glued to her side she was watching her. The feel of Jade’s eyes on her skin was now a familiar one.
“Have you two still not figured your stuff out yet?” Elora asked, from where she rode on the back of Kit’s horse, snapping Kit back to reality. Her earlier conversation with Elora had played on a loop in her head recently and she had been doing her best to follow her advice.
She wanted to prove to Jade that she would wait for her, that she would give her all the time in the world if that’s what she needed, but that didn’t make it any easier.
She had been right in her earlier statement that Kit was not well known for her patience, she was on the losing end of this battle.
“We’ve figured it out just fine,” she bit back, trying not to let the resentment seep into her voice.
Elora cocked her head,” yet you two still aren’t together,” she asked, keeping her voice low. Kit nearly groaned, she didn’t want to be having this conversation right now. But all things considered Elora did give good advice when it came to affairs of the heart. She hated to admit it, but she was better at this than she was.
“Trust me Elora, if it were up to me we would be,” She fell quiet for a moment, letting what she said sink in.
Elora’ s eyebrows shot to the top of her head. “Well, have you told her how you feel?”
“Of course I have,” she scoffed and then she stopped. She had never actually said the words, those three little words that had been tumbling around in her head since she’d gotten free from the trolls. She hadn’t said them that day with the bone reavers, she’d hesitated and had regretted it every moment after. “I mean I haven’t actually said the words, but she knows.”
“How can you be sure she knows? How can she be sure if you haven’t told her?” The words dug into her skin like claws, latching on and not letting go.
“Because I know she knows. And honestly I don’t think she wants to hear that I love her right now,” she snapped back, tired of having her feelings for Jade questioned. Right now her feelings for Jade were the only thing keeping her going.
“Maybe,” Elora commented,”but maybe that’s what she needs to hear.”
They stopped for lunch and a short rest later that day. The trees had dissipated leaving them in a flat plain, there was a small cliff a couple hundred yards away from where they were eating. It reminded Jade of the cliff they used to spar on back in Tir Asleen, though compared to that this was more of a ledge.
She ate quickly and walked over, the wind picked as she drew closer and whipped through her hair. She sucked a deep breath in and let the air fill her lungs until there was no more space for them to expand, then she released slowly.
She sank to the ground, letting her legs dangle over the edge and took in the view. To the North of them was more plains, dried grass and rolling hills that went on endlessly and to the west was the forest where they had just come from. Jade couldn’t say that she wasn’t relieved to be out of those trees.
The grass crunched behind her and she knew who it was without turning around. “Is it time to leave already?” She asked as Kit sat down beside her. Jade glanced at her and smiled, her hair was windswept and considerably fluffier than unusual. She had the overwhelming urge to run her fingers through it.
“No, Graydon is the slowest eater I have ever met so I feel like we’ve got another half an hour at least,” there was humor in her voice but no sting. She knew that while the princess still held no warmth for her esteemed fiancé, she at least now knew him and didn’t detest him like she used to.
“Reminds me of the cliff back in Tir Asleen,” Jade sighed. She was overcome with a strange bout of home sicknesses, followed closely by dread. A part of her still considered Tir Asleen to be her home, it’s where she grew up, where she trained and decided to become a knight and it’s where she met and grew to love Kit. But learning that the people who had taken her in and raised her had actually kidnapped her caused her to see her home in a different light.
She wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to return there.
“It’s not nearly as cool as our cliffs,” Kit commented, pulling Jade back to reality. Absent-mindedly she leaned into her princess, enjoying the heat that radiated from her.
“No I supposed they aren’t,” Jade added.
“You know,” Kit started, then stopped and cleared her throat, lacing her fingers together in front of her,”There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about,”
Her eyes drifted to where Kit was wringing her hands, Kit only fidgeted when she was doubting herself, and the overly confident, cocky princess rarely did that. “Should I be concerned?” She asked and furrowed her brow.
“I really really hope not,” Kit answered shakily.
As the princess ran her fingers through her hair Jade realized exactly where this conversation was going. She gulped, her throat suddenly very dry. Throughout all their time traveling together, there were very few moments where Kit was openly talking about her feelings and one of those only happened because of a truth plum high. “I don’t really know how to say this,” she started and averted her gaze, a flush spread across her cheeks,” So I’m just going to say it…”
“Don’t,” Jade interrupted.
Kit’s face fell. At first confusion flickered across her face and then sorrow but that quickly gave way to anger. The soft edges of her face hardened and any ability Jade had to read her expressions disappeared. “No,” she bit out,” No that’s not fair Jade.”
“I know, I know princess,” she said, falling back into years of instincts to calm Kit down.
“No, Jade I don’t think you do,” she retorted and the fire that burned in her eyes was fierce and blazing. Whatever had been building between them for all these days, it was going down now. Whether it would fizzle out or explode Jade wasn’t sure. “Because you got to say it. You got to say it and now I have to live knowing it, all while knowing that you refuse to do anything about it.”
“It isn’t that simple,” Jade tried, but found that her words were failing her.
“Don’t you think I know that? But that doesn’t change that you love me and you have to know that I love you too.” Kit’s voice broke, and the tears swimming in her eyes made Jade’s throat close up.
Jade reached and laced their hands together, “I know, and I think I’ve known for a long time,” Kit lifted her chin, finally bringing them eye to eye for the first time since this conversation started.
She released a shaky breath,” I just need you to know that this isn’t some childhood crush or attraction that will fade whenever my mother decides to marry me off,” Jade flinched and Kit brushed her thumb across the back of her hand in soothing circles. “ I meant it when I said that I would follow you wherever you decide to go after this, if you’ll have me.”
Jade pressed her lips together in an attempt to suppress her smile. She failed. “Of course you meant it. Plums,” she said and let her smile fully shine through.
Kit huffed out a laugh and shook her head,” Don’t joke with me while I’m trying to be serious,”
“One of us had to,”
Kit caught her teeth between her lips, and Jade offered up a thankful prayer to any god that was listening that she was allowed to witness it,” You’re it for me Jade,” she finally said. The words washed over her like a wave and Jade wasn’t sure whether she would sink or swim.
“And what about when you have to marry Graydon?” She gulped.
“There is no way this engagement sticks. Not since he’s all starry eyed over Elora fucking Danan.” Jade snorted, she knew that there was something going on between the two of them, or at least that the prince wished there was something going on between them, but she had been too wrapped up in her own relationship struggles to truly take stock of it.
“You would really give up your kingdom?” She asked,” your claim to the throne?”
Kit sighed,” Any talk my mother had of me taking the throne was a pipe dream, and we all know it.”
“And that doesn’t bother you,” she asked.
Kit took a moment before answering, jade could see the wheels turning in her head, “it stings a little, but the more I think about it the more it sounds like it’ll all work out in the end,”
Jade scanned her face searching for any of her usual tells that she was lying, she didn’t find any but she still had a hard time believing her words,” that is surprisingly mature of you,” she commented and Kit puffed up like a peacock,” and I don’t believe it for a second.”
“What?” She gasped in offense and rolled her eyes lightly,” Jade at this point Airik, Elora, and Graydon can rule Tir Asleen in some weird throuple for all I care,”
Jade laughed, it was the kind of laugh that only Kit could pull from her and she knew it. Before she could answer Willow’s voice cut through the wind,”wrap it up you two, time to move out,”
Kit sighed and began to pull away, but she stopped her. She needed just a moment more, Kit deserved that at least. She lifted the princess’s hand to her lips and pressed a single soft kiss to her knuckles.
When she looked up, Kit was staring at her and her eyes shined in the darkness. “I love you too Kit,” she breathed. It was the first time she had said those words since the effect of the truth plums wore off and it felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders.
Kit beamed at her, it was a full smile that caused her eyes to crinkle at the edges. Jade’s heart twisted at the sight and she realized that she would do anything to keep that smile on her face.