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It was around 10am when Elinor and Charlotte returned to the Campbell household, from the previous night’s ‘Boxing Day party’. They had spent the evening drinking some of Edward’s premium booze and helping themselves to whatever snacky foods caught their eye from the freezer and cupboards. Ellie would have slobbed around her dad’s place for longer, but Charlie was eager to get back to reassure herself that her mum wasn’t upset at being abandoned in favour of a supposed piss up. Elinor looked into the living room and was surprised to see an empty wine bottle and two glasses on the coffee table. Serena was usually a real stickler for clearing everything up before going to bed. Ellie smiled at the thought that her mum must have been too inebriated to bother tidying. Maybe that was a good sign. She knew only too well how much more tactile her mother became in the face of large quantities of Shiraz, having fended off many over enthusiastic hugs in the past.
Ellie and Charlotte carried on down the hall to the kitchen at the back of the house. There, they found Serena sitting at the table, wrapped in her fleecy dressing gown, hair a dishevelled mess. She was staring into space, her hands clutching a mug of coffee.
“Heavy night was it, Mother?” Elinor asked, with a smirk on her face.
Serena jumped, one hand flying up to clutch the edges of her dressing gown together at her throat, the other jerking the almost empty mug hard enough to slosh a few drops of coffee onto the table.
“Bloody hell! You scared the life out of me. I didn’t hear the front door.”
"Obvs, Mum! Too busy nursing the hangover?"
Before Serena could answer, she heard the squeak of the bottom stair. Bernie.
“We’re in the kitchen, Bernie.” she called out. “The girls are home already.”
In the early hours, between cat naps and orgasms, Serena had tentatively brought up the subject of… them.
“Bernie, darling, at the risk of sending you running off into the night, can we talk about what this is? I know realistically it’s altogether way too early to define what’s happening between us, but I also think we’re both too old to bugger about and tiptoe around the subject.”
With difficulty, Bernie managed to drag her gaze away from Serena’s magnificent figure to look her in the eye. Bernie ran her fingers through Serena’s soft, greying hair and tried to wrangle her thoughts into something semi-coherent. All she really wanted to do was kiss a meandering path down to Serena’s toes and back up again, with many stops along the way, but Serena wanted to talk, and deserved her full attention.
“The minute I saw you, I was smitten, Serena. Getting to know you better over the last couple of days has only solidified my feelings. Without wanting to sound like a doormat, beyond wanting monogamy, it’s all up to you.”
“Monogamy is obviously a given, but it’s not all up to me.”
Bernie sat up, rearranged the pillows and leaned back against the headboard. She took a moment to get her thoughts in order.
“What I mean is… well I have nothing to lose. My kids already know I’m gay and have come to accept it. I don’t have any colleagues that give a damn about my personal life. Whereas you, you have an entire home and work life where everyone except Fleur thinks you’re straight.”
Mirroring Bernie, Serena propped herself up against her pillows and sighed. In the midst of the whirlwind of meeting and falling for Bernie, she hadn’t really considered the real world that still existed outside of their own little bubble. She had never been overly quiet about being in relationships, but was also not one to shout it from the rooftops. All of the humiliations heaped upon her thanks to Edward’s many indiscretions made her wary of people knowing too much about her personal business. Serena rubbed her face, a wave of tiredness having suddenly swept over her.
“You’re right, of course. Not about me having anything to lose, mind. If the news that I’m in a relationship with a woman bothers anyone that much, they don’t deserve to be part of my life. Elinor might be tricky, however, there’s no denying. Work is the main place where playing our cards close to our chests would be wise, particularly while we’re pitching the trauma bay idea…”
Ultimately, after talking things through for a while, Bernie and Serena decided on absolute discretion in a professional setting and giving themselves a little while to get used to their new relationship before letting the kids know. Hence Serena calling out a warning to Bernie, to give her a heads up about the presence of the offspring.
“Morning, girls,” said Bernie as she walked into the kitchen. “I thought you two would still be at Wotshername’s place, sleeping off last night.”
“Oh, you know how it is at a house party, bodies everywhere. You don’t exactly get a good night’s kip,” Ellie replied, breezily. “Besides, we knew we wouldn’t get a decent breakfast.”
Responding to her daughter’s less than subtle hint, Serena went to stand. Bernie rested her hand on Serena’s shoulder for a brief moment to halt her.
“I’ve got this, Serena. You’re the one working later on, after all.”
Serena lifted her mug and drank the last mouthful of nearly cold coffee, using the action to hopefully disguise her pleasure at seeing Bernie take charge in the kitchen. Yes, Bernie had cooked breakfast the morning before and helped with the curry in the evening, but in the light of the changes that had happened overnight, this felt different. This felt… domesticated. She stood and went over to Bernie, who was rummaging in the fridge. Trying to look casual, she quickly and lightly stroked Bernie’s back.
“Thanks… Bernie, I’ll go and grab a quick shower, if you have everything under control?” Serena had only just managed to stop herself from calling the other woman ‘darling’ in front of their daughters.
“Of course, but take as long as you want. I think I’ll make omelettes, if that’s okay with you, so I can hold off cooking yours until you’re ready.”
Bernie said all this with her head still buried in the fridge. This was partly to cool off the inevitable flush of desire from the mere touch of Serena’s hand on her back, and partly because she felt like she needed a few extra moments to try and get her game face on. She really hadn’t expected Charlotte and Elinor to be home, and it rather had her on the back foot.
“Perfect. See you shortly, ladies.”
With that, Serena left the kitchen. As she passed the doorway of the living room, she paused. With a slightly undignified little jump, she yanked down the rather dusty old plastic sprig of mistletoe and tucked it safely into the pocket of her dressing gown. It wouldn’t do for Elinor to see it, and wonder why her mother had decided to hang it up. She couldn’t help but smile a trifle smugly about quite how effective it had been in moving things along the night before.
“Campbell, you’re a bloody genius!” she muttered to herself as she climbed the stairs.
“I don’t think leaving them to their own devices did anything at all. What do you reckon, Chaz?” Ellie asked her friend, quietly.
They were alone in the kitchen clearing up after breakfast, their mums having left them to it; Serena to finish getting ready for work, and Bernie had muttered something about emails, before wandering off. Charlotte finished wiping down the countertop and considered the question as she rinsed out the cloth.
“It’s hard to tell. You’ve seen what my mum is like. She’s not the demonstrative type in the slightest. I feel like she could have been at it all night and declared her undying love, and I wouldn’t be able to tell. And why exactly did I just have to put the thought of my mum having sex out into the world?”
Elinor just laughed and boosted herself up to sit on the counter.
“Pretty sure we’d be able to tell from my mum alone. She wouldn’t exactly be sitting around smoking the proverbial post coital cigarette, but there’s no way she could be subtle about it. She would have been all over Bernie if anything had happened between them, I’m sure.”
Charlie was a bit disappointed that she had missed out on an evening with her mum for nothing. Yes, she and Ellie had fun, but they were always hanging out. Time with her mum was precious, and she was regretting Project Boxing Day. Seeing the look on her friend’s face, Elinor slid off her perch and threw an arm around Charlotte.
“Come on, mate, there’s plenty of time for them to get together. Don’t forget, there’s that whole trauma proposal thing. Their eyes might meet romantically over a spreadsheet. Mum went to Harvard, so that kind of thing probably turns her on!”
“Mmm, I should let you get ready. Don’t want to make you late,” Bernie sighed.
The ‘emails’ she went to check were obviously code for sneaking into Serena’s bedroom for some stolen kisses before AAU claimed Serena for the rest of the day. It felt weird, sneaking around behind the kids’ backs, a bit like she was finally having a randy teenage rebellion. If she’d known how amazing kissing was with the right person, she would have rebelled thirty odd years ago!
“I can live with being a little late for the sake of this, darling,” replied Serena, kissing a line along Bernie’s jaw, before gently sucking her earlobe.
“Don’t start something we don’t have time to finish. It’s going to be hard enough waiting until we can be together again as it is.”
“Waiting until tonight shouldn’t be that difficult, should it? Just think of how amazing it will be after all that anticipation. By the time we’ve been apart all day, plus the evening with the girls, only able to look but not touch…”
Serena leant in for another kiss, but Bernie pulled away slightly. She needed a modicum of distance to be able to concentrate. Not wanting to lose physical contact entirely, she took Serena’s hand between both of hers.
“I wasn’t sure… Do you want to risk it? Tonight I mean.”
“Bernie Wolfe, if you think I can have you under my roof but not in my bed, then you have sorely underestimated yourself. Plus, you know, I can be quiet if I really have to.
There followed a brief but intense discussion about how they could work things over the next few days, with schedule comparisons and brainstorming. Their conclusions were the following:
- That evening they would both plead the need for an early night and go up to bed, separately, at somewhere around 10 o’clock. Bernie would then discreetly join Serena in her room. As they were both working the following day, they would have to be up early, with minimal risk of Elinor or Charlotte being awake to see Bernie leaving the wrong bedroom.
- Serena would ‘be on call’ on the 30th and 31st and would stay overnight at the hospital, to ’avoid the risk of having to drive in’. Luckily for them, the weather forecast was predicting snow, so had Serena actually been on call, sleeping at work is something she would probably have done anyway. The reality was she would drive directly from Holby City to Bernie’s place.
- No, Serena wouldn’t judge Bernie’s grotty flat.
- Yes, she was sure.
- As Bernie was scheduled to work until 11.30pm on New Year’s Eve, Serena would wait in the North Star, a pub just down the road from St Jude’s. They would have a drink, toast the arrival of midnight, then go straight home to Bernie’s to celebrate properly.
- Bernie would refuse any extra hours the locum agency offered her, particularly once the powers that be realised she was finishing work on New Year’s Eve, just as things were likely to really ramp up in the ED.
- Yes, she could afford to do that.
- Yes, she was sure.
“This way, we’ll only need to spend tomorrow night apart, my darling,” Serena concluded, once they had hashed out the plans.
“You’re sure it’s not too much, Serena? You might get sick of the sight of me.”
“I thought we sorted this out last night? Too old to bugger about and play games, remember? I like you. A lot. I’m wildly attracted to you and would very much like us to have sex. A lot. ”
Serena then proceeded to do her best to kiss Bernie’s worries and concerns away. It was only when Bernie’s lips were driving her mad, caressing a particularly sensitive spot on her neck that Serena’s eyes drifted over to her bedside clock and she saw the time. Damn it, she would be very late indeed if she didn’t get a move on. Running her fingers through soft, blonde hair, Serena grasped a lock and tugged gently to get Bernie’s attention. What it actually got her was a mixture of a gasp and a groan. She pulled again, slightly harder and this time there was a definite rumble of pleasure. Serena smiled and made a mental note that this was something that needed further exploration, but time was sadly marching on. She put her hands on Bernie’s shoulders and leaned back to create some distance.
“As much as I would love to carry on, darling, I’m now at risk of being horribly late for work if I don’t get my skates on.”
They stood up, and shared one last, chaste kiss before Bernie left the room with an exaggerated, cartoonish tiptoe that made Serena laugh. As Bernie quietly closed the door, the only real thought in Serena’s head was ‘Oh my god, I think I could fall in love with this woman so very easily’.
After Serena had rushed out of the house in a flurry of quick hugs and goodbyes, Bernie made a suggestion to the girls. If they fancied it, she would cook for them all that evening. On her way out, Serena had said she couldn’t be bothered to think about dinner and they could order takeaway, but Bernie liked the idea of making a proper evening meal for them all.
“How about lasagne? Chaz has told me you make a good one,” Elinor suggested.
It was decided that Bernie and Charlotte would head off to the local supermarket for ingredients. Before they left, Ellie whispered in her friend’s ear, telling her to grill her mum about the night before. Charlie responded with a noncommittal sound, unsure how she could broach the subject. It turned out to be very easy in the end. As they strolled around the produce department, Bernie asked about the ‘party’, and not wanting to spin too many lies (“Oh, you know - a few drinks, nibbles, the usual.”), Charlotte turned the question around to Bernie’s evening with Serena.
“Ummm… we had a more grown up version of your evening, I suppose. Some wine, a few snacks. We got to know each other a bit better.”
Bernie could physically feel the flush creeping up her neck as she thought about just how much better she had got to know Serena the night before. She ducked her head and studiously studied the fresh herbs, burying her face in a pot of basil and muttered something about loving the smell.
“I’m glad you’re getting on so well, Mum. Especially if you do end up working together.”
“Serena is easy to talk to. She even managed to get your socially awkward old mum to open up a bit, which is a minor miracle as you know only too well,” Bernie playfully nudged Charlotte, who laughed. “I’m trying not to get too excited by this trauma bay idea of Serena’s in case nothing comes of it, but it does sound perfect for me and something that would do a lot of good.”
“I think if anyone can find a way to squeeze money out of the NHS, Serena can.”
“I think you’re right. I’d love to work with her in any capacity, to be honest. Her reputation is stellar, and I think I could learn a lot from her. Plus, you know, anything that helps keep me rooted in Holby is a bonus. A permanent job will lead me to being able to buy my own place. Somewhere decent, with two bedrooms so you and Cameron will have a proper place to stay whenever you want.”
Bernie found herself suddenly dragged into a hug by her daughter. As she wrapped her arms around Charlotte, returning the embrace, she wondered if it was slightly perverse to be thanking an IED for blowing her up. Had it not been for the explosion, her life would undoubtedly have carried on as it had for so many years, with her buried in her work and distanced from her children. In a roundabout way it had also brought Serena into her life. Fate was an odd thing sometimes.
“I love you, Mum.”
Coughing slightly, trying to clear the knot that had instantly formed in her throat, Bernie kissed Charlie on the forehead and brushed some unruly hair out of her eyes.
“I love you too, kiddo. Now we’d better get our arses in gear and get this shopping done if the sauce is going to have enough time to simmer properly.”
***
Bernie found herself checking her watch again. Yup, still only five minutes later than the last time she had looked. She’d got what she had hoped for, on this New Year’s Eve - a busy but not too busy shift. Busy enough to help keep her mind off missing Serena, but also allow her to get out of work on time. As expected, once someone in charge had noticed that the best doctor in the St Jude’s ED was going off shift at 11.30pm on New Year’s Eve, the agency asked Bernie to extend her hours. As she had promised Serena, she had politely said no.
“You’re turning down extra hours, Bernie? Don’t tell me you’ve finally got a life? I refuse to believe a lowly F1 isn’t working and that your daughter doesn’t have better things to do than see midnight in with her mum.”
Bernie could hear the amusement in their voice. Sam was her usual contact at the locum agency, and in spite of having never met in person, they had struck up a bit of a friendship. She knew Sam was happily single and shared a home with their two pampered cats. They knew Bernie had two grown up kids for whom Bernie would sometimes chop and change shifts.
“You’re correct, Cameron is working, and Charlotte is off out on the piss with her best friend. I…well I have plans…with someone.” It felt odd, talking in even the vaguest terms about Serena.
“Good for you, mate. It’s about time you took a little time for yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll mark you down as unavailable for extra hours ‘cos you’re too busy getting some.” Sam laughed and there was the clacking of a keyboard in the background as they updated Bernie’s availability.
“You’re always so professional,” shot back Bernie, with an amused snort. “Take care, Sam. Happy New Year.”
“Right back at you. Have fun with your ‘someone’, mate!”
The end of Bernie’s shift finally arrived. She had spent the final thirty minutes or so quietly tucked away, finishing up some paperwork. Knowing she couldn’t say no to staying on if she got dragged into a medical emergency, Bernie had been trying to make herself as invisible and unobtrusive as possible.
With five minutes to go, she sloped into the locker room and changed into her civvies. That morning there had been a discussion about clothing. As she would be meeting Serena in the pub, Bernie was concerned about what to wear. She didn’t want to show Serena up on their first proper time out in public together.
“I checked yesterday at the North Star, when I bought the tickets, and they don’t have any dress code tonight. It’s not really that kind of pub, to be honest. It’s usually full of old geezers and whichever medics don’t go to the fancier place over the road. I was slightly surprised they have the cheek to charge a fiver to get in, to be honest.”
“It does say there’s a buffet,” remarked Serena, looking at the ticket Bernie had passed to her. “I suppose that justifies it. Plus, I would hope the bar staff get a little extra for working tonight. Anyway, I think whatever you usually wear should be fine. You can, ummm…you can always wear the hoodie Cameron got you.”
Something in the tone of Serena’s voice caught Bernie’s attention and she turned around from the wardrobe to see a slightly exaggerated casual look on the other woman’s face. There was a definite blush, and Serena was playing with her pendant. Oh, it was like that, was it? Bernie couldn’t stop herself grinning.
“Careful, Ms Campbell, your uniform kink is showing.”
Bernie smiled as she zipped up her hoodie, thinking about what had followed, and how close they had both been to being late for work because of it. She chucked her scrubs in her locker, checked she had everything she needed, and strode out of the changing room. Calling out her goodbyes, she left the ED to a mixture of ‘Happy New Year, Bernie’ and a couple of good natured shouts of ‘Oi, part timer!’.
After handing her ticket over at the door, Bernie made her way to the back of the pub. Serena had sent a text that she had secured a table, a bottle of wine and some buffet food. As she wound her way through the crowd, she was surprised at the amount of young people. They seemed to be at least half the usual average age of North Star drinkers. She spotted Serena sitting at a tiny round table and felt her heart rate instantly increase. There was no denying it, she really had fallen hard and fast for Serena Campbell.
For the next fifteen or twenty minutes they sat sipping wine, nibbling on sausage rolls and crisps and gazing into each other’s eyes. Conversation was at a minimum because neither felt inclined to try and shout over the music and loud chatter of the busy pub. Suddenly, the music was switched off, and the volume of the wall-mounted televisions was turned up. The BBC was showing scenes of the crowds at Trafalgar Square and people lining the banks of the Thames in anticipation of the annual firework display. As the screen showed the Elizabeth Tower, its clock face displaying a minute to midnight, Bernie and Serena stood up.
“FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” was called across the crowded pub as Big Ben began to chime.
“Happy New Year, darling,” Serena murmured into Bernie’s ear as they embraced.
“And to you too, love. I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one.”
What they had both genuinely intended to be a small, discreet kiss almost inevitably grew into a prolonged and passionate one. As they pulled apart, laughing breathlessly, they became aware of a throat being noisily cleared and eyes staring in their direction.
A couple of feet away stood Elinor and Charlotte. Ellie had her hands on her hips and eyebrows raised. Charlie just shuffled her feet and looked awkward. Before either Bernie or Serena could formulate an explanation, Ellie bowed slightly.
“You’re welcome!”