Chapter Text
Eddie always preferred a good story over the truth. Whether it was an intricate fantasy concocted for his DnD campaign, or a boring math class spent daydreaming about making it big as a musician. Reality was rarely as exciting as the things he could come up with. His grades would probably benefit from a bit more time spent in the here and now, but where was the fun in that?
His absolutely insane adventure in the Upside Down should’ve given him enough inspiration to last him through a dozen more senior years. Secret government labs? Hell yes. A parallel dimension? Superpowers? The stories should’ve practically written themselves.
One small problem.
His week in literal hell had also given him a whole new cast of characters to play around with. Robin was great, obviously. Eddie was honestly surprised they hadn’t connected before. Nancy was bad ass and Jonathan and Argyle were great fun before they went back to California. And then there was Steve. Heroic, charming, uncharacteristically kind Steve. The new main character in every single once of his daydreams.
Steve’s waiting for him backstage when he plays his first show in the Garden. He’s next to him slaying dragons when he lets his mind run wild to come up with a new story for his campaign. Steve’s surrounded by twinkling lights, the leading man in the John Hughes flick that won’t stop playing in the Goddamn movie theater in his brain.
“Eddie?”
A piece of popcorn hits his cheek and he startles out of his thoughts. Steve’s on the other side of the couch with his knees pulled up and an outstretched hand.
It takes him a few seconds to notice he’s trying to hand him the joint they’ve been passing around. He picks it from between Steve’s fingers, trying his hardest not to make their fingers brush.
“You that far gone already?” Robin giggles. She’s on her back on the floor with her hands folded behind her head like a makeshift pillow. Nancy is right next to her, propped up on her stomach, elbows digging into the shag carpet.
It’s a Saturday evening and Steve and Robin came over right after work, picking up Nancy along the way. They typically favor Steve’s house, since it’s bigger and his parents are out of town so often, but his trailer is a nice change of pace whenever Wayne works double shifts.
“I’m fine!” Eddie takes a long drag as if to prove his point. “Just distracted is all.”
Steve rolls his eyes and stretches his legs so his feet end up in Eddie’s lap. There’s a sharp crease across the front of his jeans, but he already made fun of that today so he doesn’t bother.
Robin continues her lament about a girl in band who won’t stop singing everything she wants to say.
They spend most of their free time like this now, each with their own reasons for not wanting to leave the house.
Eddie’s still treated like a murderer by their shit hole of a town. Trips to the grocery store are a minefield of evil stares and flat out slurs. He thought he was used to being seen as a freak. Rumors about him being queer have been spreading through town for years at that point. Maybe those bother him less because at least they’re true. Being a murderer, though. That’s a whole different story. He hasn’t been to school in weeks. His constant daydreaming is far from the only thing getting in the way of his academics now. Half his teachers seem to believe he killed the queen of Hawkins High.
He scratches at the skin of his forearms to draw his thoughts away from Chrissy. Chrissy who was so kind. Who was asking for help. Who was suspended on this very ceiling when her…
Eddie takes a sharp breath and leans over to hand the joint to Robin, who accepts it with a newfound ease.
She didn’t use to smoke with them often, usually opting for a beer or a bottle of cheap wine she’d steal from the fridge at home. He’d learned that Robin’s reason for staying inside was panic attacks. She’d been having them since last summer, but explained that after everything went down with Vecna they’d gotten worse. I can’t be alone anymore, she told him once when they were the last two people awake at an impromptu sleepover at Steve’s house. I don’t feel real if I’m all by myself. It’s like I’m dreaming.
Eddie didn’t know how to help with that, but Robin had assured him that he was in fact helping. Letting her come over whenever she wanted was making it a lot easier. The weed also definitely helped, even if she didn’t say that part out loud.
“Can I try too?” Nancy says and her voice is more shrill than usual.
Steve frowns and Eddie only notices because he was already staring at him. His eyebrows knit together and the wheels start turning behind his eyes. It’s a familiar expression at this point, even if it’s usually reserved for the kids. He’s right to be confused, though. Nancy has politely refused any weed for as long as he’s known her.
“You sure, Nance?” Steve asks. “Why the sudden interest?”
Nancy’s eyes flick from Steve to Eddie and she takes a deep breath.
“I broke up with Jonathan.”
“What?” Eddie and Robin shout in unison.
Robin sits up so fast she has to steady herself with her free hand to keep from falling backwards. Her cheeks are a bright scarlet, like they usually are whenever she smokes. Or whenever Nancy’s around, but that’s a whole different story. “Are you okay?” she says. “When did this happen?”
Nancy sits up as well and folds her hands under her thighs. “Last night.” She keeps her eyes on the floor as she talks. “I called him and I just… You know. I told him it was over.”
“Okay...” Robin says gently. “And this is a good thing? Or a sad thing? How are we feeling about this?”
“It’s… A thing that had to happen,” Nancy says like a diplomat. She seems surprisingly emotionless about the whole thing, but Eddie has learned that that’s a thing she can just do. If Nancy doesn’t want people to know how she’s feeling, they’re never going to find out.
He never quite figured out Nancy’s reason for spending every afternoon holed up in the trailer. For someone who seems so put together she sure has an aversion for going out like a normal teenager. Actually, she seems to have a hard time having fun in general. Every time she laughs, she corrects herself halfway through, like she feels guilty for feeling good.
“While I’m totally down for getting you out of your shell a little,” Eddie starts. “I don’t think this is a good time to start smoking weed.”
“Agreed,” Steve says. “Do you wanna talk about it? I’m sure everyone here wouldn’t judge you if you told us how you feel.”
Nancy shoots his a pointed look, scanning Steve’s face like he’s one of her flashcards and she’s trying to figure out what’s on the other side. “I don’t need a babysitter, Steve,” she spits.
Steve opens his mouth to talk, but before he can say anything Nancy interrupts him.
“I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “I didn’t mean to. I just… It’s been a weird couple of weeks.”
“Don’t worry!” Robin puts the rest of the joint in the ashtray on the side table next to Eddie. “Maybe we can play some cards? Get you some distraction?”
Her hand hovers in the air over Nancy’s shoulder, like she trying to calculate her way into a hug. Or a polite pat on the shoulder. Robin’s fingers clench into a fist and she pulls her hand back.
Nancy nods, seemingly unaware of Robin. “I’m gonna get a beer, though.”
She gets up and straightens the creases from her skirt before she heads to the kitchenette. The floor creaks as she walks, which only emphasizes the silence. He really should’ve put some music on when they got here, but the main issue currently plaguing their unlikely group of friends is that they can’t agree on a record for the life of them.
Eddie steals another quick glance at Steve, but his eyes are trained on Nancy. He looks… Worried? But also happy somehow. Reading facial expressions has never been his strong suit.
When Nancy returns she’s got four cans of beer balanced in her arms and a pretty convincing fake smile. She hands each of them a can before sitting back down next to robin. “You guys are not allowed to pity me.” she says. “I didn’t come here to be sad.”
Eddie cracks open his can and raises it in the air. “To not being sad, then.”
Nancy shoots him a grateful smile and opens her own can. “I’m actually not sad,” she says and she takes a huge sip. “I should’ve done it a while ago, it’s just...”
Eddie isn’t quite sure what she’s getting at, but he feels sympathetic anyway. He doesn’t exactly have any experience with relationships to draw from, for obvious reasons, so he’s not quite sure what to say.
“I just keep screwing things up,” Nancy says with a sardonic smile. “I think maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
Well, that’s something Eddie does have a lot of experience with. He hasn’t felt normal since maybe the second grade.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Robin says and she reaches for a blanket by the couch and drapes it over Nancy’s knees. It’s a sweet gesture, but Eddie has a hunch it won’t have the intended effect.
“And even if there is something wrong with you that’s fine, too!” Eddie shoots for a light tone, but misses and lands in a somewhat sarcastic area.
“Dude!” Robin smacks his knee.
But Nancy smiles at him. “Thank you,” she says softly and then she raises her can of beer. “To not being sad, then.”
In the name of distracting Nancy, Robin ends up putting on a movie she brought with her from work. It’s some double VHS disaster she insist is about ‘doomed love’ and therefor appropriate. Eddie’s attention span ran out several hours before, but he’s happy to just lie on the couch and smoke some more.
The girls settle in a pile of blankets on the floor, facing the TV. It’s only when blue light fills the room that Eddie notices how dark it’s gotten. This is definitely going to be a sleepover kind of night. He crosses his feet underneath him and lets out a content sigh. As long as they don’t leave the trailer, their life is pretty okay sometimes.
Steve, still next to him on the couch, shuffles in closer.
“Robin’s put this movie on at work four times this week,” he complains in a soft whisper. Eddie can feel his breath on his neck, but he forces his eyes on the TV. Steve’s lavender shampoo gets all up in his personal space and he wants to scream. Well. He wants to run his fingers through the undoubtedly soft strands, but that’s not an option now, is it?
Steve seems completely oblivious to his inner turmoil and moves even closer. He sets a hand on Eddie’s knee and leans over to grab the joint from the side table. Steve’s shoulder brushes against his chest and he hopes the minimal contact won’t reveal how fast his heart is beating. He takes a long sip of his beer.
Steve sits back, but keeps his hand on Eddie’s knee several seconds longer than necessary. He can’t seem to snap his eyes back into focus.
“You’re doing it again,” Steve whispers.
“Huh?”
Steve smiles and hands him the joint. “You’re distracted tonight, man,” he says and there it is again. The hand on his knee. “You good?”
More than good. Great. No. Freaking out actually. Please stop touching me. Please lean in closer.
“Just distracted, like I said.” He takes a long drag to calm his nerves. “Watch the movie, Stevie.”
“You sure?” Steve asks. “You can tell me if something’s up.”
From an outsider’s perspective, Steve Harrington should have no reason to spend all his time holed up at the trailer park. Sure, he’s not quite King Steve anymore, but the town still seems to like him. Old ladies at the grocery store are still charmed by his manners and his last name. For a while Eddie assumed Steve’s reason for staying inside was so he could look after them. Always the goddamn babysitter, what else was new? He’d seen the way Steve constantly checked up on Robin. They had a ritual of quick, questioning glances and small nods. Are you okay? Steve would ask her without using words. Do you need me? With Steve driving her everywhere, the two rarely spent any time apart.
Steve and Nancy had also settled into an easy friendship after everything that went down in March. Any hard feelings apparently settled along with the dust in the Upside Down. As far as Eddie knew they didn’t spend that much time together one on one, but whenever they all hung out there was no awkwardness in the air. Steve always seemed to know what to ask her, though. When he should push her to talk more and when she needed to be left alone.
His way of taking care of the kids involved a little more yelling and rolled eyes, but it was clearly important to Steve nonetheless. Wherever he went, he kept his walkie talkie on his belt and his bat balanced against he wall within grabbing distance. It was right next to the couch, even now.
Eddie figured this was as good a reason as any for Steve to avoid the rest of the world. Most of his important people were in Eddie’s trailer anyway, or Robin’s bedroom or lying around his pool still too scared to dip their toes in.
It wasn’t until Steve became a regular guest in his house and also his bed, that Eddie realized just how compulsive the behavior was. Steve didn’t just want to take care of his friends, he had to. He regularly woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air and clutching the walkie talkie on instinct. It took Eddie weeks to convince him to stop sleeping with the bat in his bed.
Eddie lets out a long breath and puts effort into a convincing smile. “I promise I’m fine.”
For now, Steve seems to believe him. And he is fine. Even if his crush is starting to seep through the floorboards in his brain. In Eddie’s mind they’re on a tour bus, trying to catch some sleep before they get to the next city. They’re in a domestic little montage at the halfway point of the movie.
It’s embarrassing.
Steve pulls a blanket over his knees and rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder. A fun little thing he pulls all the Goddamn time.
He’d figured Steve would stop once he told their little group that he’s gay, so little over a month ago he came out to them. He had been on the very far end of tipsy on one of the deck chairs by Steve’s pool and it had seemed like the perfect solution at the time. All evening he’d had to endure Steve sitting right next to him, their bare shoulders touching and he couldn’t take it anymore. It was doing stupid things to the romcom playing in his brain and Steve definitely wouldn’t be okay with that if he knew.
What he did know, was that Steve would probably be fine with him being gay. Robin told them all she was a lesbian a little while after everything went don’t with Vecna and Steve was incredibly supportive of her. In fact, Robin mentioned she already told him a year ago.
But Steve was still a guy. So knowing about Eddie would definitely make him retreat a little, cool down all the casual touching. It was just what he needed. You guys know about Robin, right? He’d said. Well, actually I’m like that too.
Steve had looked at him with a confused glare, so he clarified. I’m gay.
Yeah, I know. Steve said like it was obvious. I mean, I heard the rumors and you never corrected them, so I just assumed you didn’t feel like talking about it.
Nancy nodded in agreement.
Oh.
He definitely hadn’t expected that. Sure, Steve was nothing like his King Steve persona anymore, but he wasn’t prepared for him to be this chill about it. It also did nothing about the physical contact. Their shoulders still bumped when watching movies on the couch and Steve still went in for a full hug whenever they greeted or said goodbye. And every time Steve’s hand lingered on a touch, Eddie’s brain still played a love ballad as background music.
And even right now, Steve sinks even further into the couch and curls his fingers around Eddie’s bicep. He lets out a long breath and the credits roll as he lets himself pretend, even for a second, that any of this is real.