Chapter Text
Understanding, determined, steadfast, reliable, loyal. The words tear at his soul. Words that should be a positive description of his character, chafe and burn him.
The first time he came to hate those words he was five. He stood at a gala being praised for his understanding of his parents' responsibilities. Earlier that day Tim found out that his parents were going to be out of town during his birthday this year. He wanted to rage and cry but he had already learned that such things were not done by a Drake. Instead he was being lauded for being such an understanding child about his parents important duties. Tim just wanted to know why he wasn’t important, but this was still the most attention his parents had given him all month. Maybe it was worth it to be ‘understanding’ if it meant being fussed over by his parents so much.
Tim had always been highly intelligent and independent; he easily fixated on any subject that interested him, learning everything he could about the subject. When he fixated on the local superheroes his parents weren’t surprised at all to find him staying up late to watch any newscasts about the duo. One night he made an amazing discovery, Robin was Dick Grayson, his neighbor! That knowledge filled him with an excitement and determination to protect his heroes to the best of his ability. Eventually he was put to the test, he had been seen following the two heroes. Not by Batman or Robin no he was spotted by one of Two Face’s men, he was held captive for 2 days, 22 hours and 22 mins being interrogated by the former lawyer. Fortunately, for Tim he would flip the coin before each question which meant part of the time he was safe. He still got severely beaten trying to protect his heroes’ identities but he was determined that he would not be their downfall, their safety was worth his suffering.
Tim could say that he hadn’t really been surprised when Dick decided he wasn’t needed anymore. Shocked, yes. Hurt, most definitely. But not surprised. He was just the latest in a long line of people who used Tim when they needed him and discarded him when they were through. Somehow Dick still expected him to smile through it all and still be the same steadfast Timothy Drake that he had always known, so he did. He stayed by Dick’s side keeping his search for Bruce limited to what he could do from Gotham. He ignored Damian’s slights, and knives, despite the many, many scars that Damian inflicted he supported Dick through that awful year. He provided help like Dick expected him too and then had to dodge Damian’s wrath. After a bad run in with Bane which injured Damian’s pride more than anything else, Tim took a katana through the spleen. Damian left him on a rooftop, with Dick's admonishments of ‘no fighting Tim’ ringing over the comm. Some days he still thought his spleen was a small price to pay for Dick thanking him for his steadfast support when Bruce was missing.
Young Justice was a team, they worked together and helped each other no matter what. Which is why Tim was at Titan’s Tower instead of using his one day off to catch up on his sleep. Kon had sent an emergency help needed code, good old reliable Tim dropped everything to come help. Tim’s eye twitched as Kon told him what the emergency was, there was no reason for Tim to have come over today just so Kon could rant about Bart, again. Yes, Bart was horrible, he ate all the oreo’s. Why can’t you just admit that you two are flirting in the worst possible way and leave Tim out of it? Tim smiled in exasperation as his friend denied every possible conclusion but the fact he was crushing on their best friend hard. He was glad that Kon was able to lean on him and that he was the first person he thought of when Kon needed help. He just wished he could have been more help. Tim woke up in the Medbay a week later. Apparently, he didn’t clean the knife wound he got to the gut right before he rushed over and being spleenless wound up with a raging infection that lasted a month.
Tim was tired; he had no more energy to function. He should just lay down and let everything go on without him. Was it worth it anymore? The endless loneliness, the constant danger? The unwinnable fights? It didn’t matter if he fought or not, Damian was always the winner. Either he would be stabbed by the arrogant child or he would get yelled at by Dick. Was neglecting his own health for his teammates still worth it?
Tim turned his glazed eyes to his latest captor, they were ranting again, they wanted some information he wasn't sure what anymore.
“Tell me how to defeat them. What is their weakness? There has to be some way to kill a Bat.”
Tim was loyal, He didn’t tell them what they wanted to know. He could have easily told them that the quickest way to destroy Batman was to kill one of his children. Probably Damian, or maybe Jason again. Either of those would break the man. Instead he shut his eyes and let the pain wash over him, he was as silent as the grave, he would never betray them.
Tim didn’t know that the man that had captured him had leaked the location of Red Robin to Batman two hours ago. He didn’t know that Bruce was currently taking Damian around an art gallery, having a Father/Son bonding day. He didn’t know that no one was looking for him despite being missing for over a week.
He would never know these things for he was silent in his grave, he could never betray them.